Kill the Alligator and Run (S11, E19-245)

"No listenin'... you hear me?"

Plot Summary
Homer gets addicted to those quick self-quiz things in a magazine.  However, he does one that indicates how much longer one will live, and 'learns' that he's only got three more years.  The thought of impending death gives Homer insomnia, and grows crazier by the day.  The psychologist at the nuclear plant suggests Homer relax down in Florida, and so he and family do just that.  Just one problem: the family goes to Florida during Spring Break, but the party animal that Homer is doesn't mind at all.

After a day's worth of Spring Break shenanigans, Homer is tired enough to finally get some sleep.  He awakens the next day ready for some more, but Spring Break is over and students are going back to campus as responsible young adults somehow.  Homer still wants to party though, and drags his family for an airboat ride at a nearby swamp.  However, Homer carelessly lets the airboat run over an alligator: Captain Jack, a rather popular and well known alligator around town.  Though initially arrested (including the rest of the family for being accessories, I guess?), the family are able to escape and go into hiding.

The family hides out at a diner deep in the woods, and takes up various jobs there, but the police find them there anyway and haul them in.  The judge orders them to forced labor - with lots of whipping - and after another failed escape, a miracle occurs: Captain Jack is actually alright, Homer had only stunned him with the airboat.  The Simpsons are free to go, but aren't welcomed in Florida any longer, just another state in a long list of states that don't want the family around.

Quick Review
This episode was all over the place.  Homer thinks he's going to die, then suddenly he's at Spring Break, then he's in trouble for killing an alligator then the family is hiding out then suddenly they're having misadventures as convicts.  With all that's going on, there's hardly any consistency to build up decent jokes.  In fact, the lack of humor is the only real consistency with the episode, I hardly found it funny at all.

Final Score: 5.9