Friday, March 29, 2013

Simpsons Tall Tales (S12, E21-269)

I don't remember this in any Paul Bunyan tale I've read.
Plot Summary
The Simpsons win a trip to Delaware, but at the airport Homer refuses to pay a $5 airport tax and is thrown out for fist shaking.  The Simpsons instead hitch a ride on a freight train to Delaware.  Inside the car they stow upon, they find a sleeping hobo.  When the hobo wakes up, they learn he's actually a singing hobo, and he starts singing about tall tales.

Paul Bunyan
Paul Bunyan (Homer) is, of course, inconsistently large, and that size makes for difficulties especially since Bunyan isn't exactly smart.  It takes too much money and effort to feed and clothe Paul, and Paul unwittingly crushes or eats people regularly.  The townsfolk have enough of Paul, so one night they drug his beer and drag him out of town.  Paul gets the message and leaves on an adventure.

Feeling lonely, Paul carves an ox out of a mountain, then that night a bolt of lightning gives the ox life, and Paul decides to call him Babe.  Paul and Babe go around the country unknowingly creating landmark after landmark.  Still, Paul is feeling a different kind of 'lonely', and comes across a young woman (Marge), whom he takes a liking to.  Despite the obvious size differences, Paul and Marge fall in love.

One day, the town that threw Paul out learns a meteor is heading right for them.  Realizing there's only one non-death option available, the town finds and pleads with Paul to save them, with Paul agreeing to do so because he's popular now.  Paul readies to knock the meteor away baseball style, but gets distracted, allowing the meteor to shoot right into Paul's ass.  Paul quickly removes the meteor and tosses it away, saving the town (and causing the great Chicago fire with the meteor).
Individual Score: +1.1

After receiving 'payment' for his tale in the form of a spongebath, Lisa asks the hobo to sing another tale, and he does so, fashioning a Johnny Appleseed story after her.

"Connie" Appleseed
Connie (Lisa) and her family (the other Simpsons) are a group of pioneers heading out west.  Along the way, the family along with the other pioneers kill wave after wave of buffalo for food and clothing, also because they're so easy to kill.  Connie warns that the buffalo could be wiped out, but is mocked instead by everyone including the buffalo.  Distraught, Connie finds a lone apple tree, and decides to give everyone apples to eat instead.  When Homer doesn't like the apples, Connie makes an ultimatum: switch to eating apples or Connie stays behind.  Everyone quickly chooses the latter option.

Connie decides to start planting apple seeds during her new journey, picking up the name Appleseed, while the family continues to kill buffalo, picking up the name Buffokill.  Soon enough though, all the buffalo are gone.  As the pioneers begin to starve, they decide to eat Homer as he's the fattest pioneer.  Just then, Connie arrives with plenty of apples to go around.  The starved pioneers love the apples now, and Homer is saved just in time.
Individual Score: +0.6

As the train crosses the Mississippi river, the hobo gets the inspiration for another tall tale, which is just his version of a Mark Twain story but whatever.

Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn
Tom (Bart) and Huck (Nelson) are busying getting other people to paint a fence, as Huck is caught accidentally holding the hand of Becky (Lisa).  Her father (Homer) decides to force Huck into a shotgun wedding, but Tom and Huck are able to swap in a pig as the groom, and the two make a getaway on the river.  They successfully evade the mob by escaping from Missouri into Missoura, but Becky's father puts out wanted signs for both Huck (for marriage dodging) as well as Tom (for 'moonshining').  The mob finds the two and they attempt another getaway on the Mississippi river, stowing away on a river boat, but they're blamed for further shenanigans there and are tossed out, right into the mob who plan on hanging them for their crimes.

At the funeral, it seems like Tom and Huck have evaded trouble again, gleefully watching their own funeral from above.  However, it turns out that they are indeed dead and their bodies are just being lowered from that position into their coffins.
Individual Score: +0.6

The train arrives in Delaware, and the family thanks the hobo for the storytelling, however the hobo told three tales, and has not received enough spongebaths for the tales.  Homer stays behind to do what is necessary.

Quick Review
This episode wasn't bad by any means, even if it isn't a spectacular way to end a season.  The Paul Bunyan story was the best of the three (it was also the longest of the three), but the other two have their moments as well.  Not a great episode, but it wasn't bad either.

Final Score: 7.9

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