Gone Boy (S29, E09-627)

Recap: Bart falls into an old missile base and can't get out.  Among others searching for him is a prisoner contingent featuring Sideshow Bob.

Review: So, it seems like this episode is ignoring the events of the last full episode, which I'm thankful for.  Overall, its been the best episode centered on Bob since Season 14, but barely.  I liked the parts with Bart, and Homer and Grampa when the two of them were searching for Bart.  Bob's parts were fine too but the episode does drag sometimes when he pulls out the now numerous amount of references to his past escapades, and the multiple Dial "M" for Murder references weren't good at all, inhibiting it from being a really good, 8+ episode.

Still, this season has been mostly terrible thus far, and this episode is the best of it to this point with minimal effort.

Final Score: 7.7

Mr. Lisa's Opus (S29, E08-626)

Recap: An 18-year old Lisa talks about forgotten birthdays and ending her dad's alcohol problem in an admissions essay to Harvard.  She then has trouble fitting into Harvard, away from her family.

Review: So, this is the third episode in a row that makes a significant reference to a classic Simpsons episode.  Stark Raving Dad is the victim this time, complete with the return of the Michael Jackson impersonator who, this time, was voiced by a Michael Jackson impersonator (because, you know, the real one's dead now).  It wasn't handled too well, as it felt overly forced in and Lisa's lack of appreciation towards the act didn't sit well.

The episode tried hard to not be as dry and boring as its premise makes it out to be, and the results are mixed.  Lots of decent quick one-liners and jokes, but a lot of jokes (and especially references) were not so great, which basically all cancel out.  A couple of sweet moments at the end (and a good Grampa rant) save it from a graver fate, but the episode wasn't very good.

Final Score: 5.0

Grampy Can You Hear Me? (S29, E05-623)

Recap: Grampa gets a hearing aid and learns he is mocked quite often outside of his old hearing range.  Meanwhile, Skinner has a falling out with his mother upon learning that she killed his dream of being a band marcher.

Review: The Grampa sidestory, and it was a side story despite it claiming the episode's title, starts off decently enough but after Grampa learns people mock him often the story takes a back seat and then ends on a dull, pointless note with little payoff.

The Skinner story, which I believe is the first case of the show actively ignoring The Principal and the Pauper, was better overall.  It had funnier gags, the stuff with Ohio State was decent albeit with a few misses, and it had better plot development overall although it, too, had a rather tame end.

Its kind of odd, the episode really didn't know how to end itself.  Its not like the ending needed to be rushed; the episode had the full, entire open, an extended couch gag, and a lengthening unrelated bit at the end because the episode itself was so short; that time could've been used to create a much more satisfying conclusion to both plot lines.  Sad, really.

Final Score: 6.7

Springfield Splendor (S29, E02-620)

Recap: Lisa's depressing life and Marge's crafty art combine to make a popular graphic novel whose popularity creates a rift between the two as a madman concocts a theatre show about it.

Review: There's two things I liked about the episode: the scenes at the community college and most of the side banter with Homer and Bart.  Those two things saved the episode from a much worse fate.  The whole latter third of the episode with the off-the-wall play was terrible, and the scene at the comicon panel with the "guest stars" was high-level cringe-core which was even worse.  Those two things, which were basically half of the episode, spiraled it downward from 'decent' territory to 'only watch for the artwork, maybe' tier.

Final Score: 5.6

The Serfsons (S29, E01-619)

Recap: taking place in medieval times, Lisa uses magic to help save Marge's mother, but when she's kidnapped over said use, Homer leads a serf uprising to get her back.

Review: When the opening began, I figured this would be a straight-up Game of Thrones reference of an episode.  It ended up as more of a basic medieval-themed episode albeit with references to GoT and other similar worlds.  A lot of it was terrible, though.  The main plot focused primarily on Marge, Lisa, and Jacqueline whatever-her-last-name-in-this-world-is, and it is a terribly dry plot at that, medieval themed or not.  Most of the jokes either fell flat or were just embarrassing (one "Krusty has genital Smurfs" was stupid enough, I didn't need several more of it).  You can categorize this under the already-stuffed "episode about thing writers like but have no idea how to properly parody".

Final Score: 3.5

Looking for Mr. Goodbart (S28, E20-616)

This stuff is cringe central when the Simpsons parody it as poorly as it does
for someone familiar with the source material.  I wonder how stupid it looks
for those who aren't familiar?  Does it actually work for them?  It doesn't, right?

Note: this is the first episode to air following the 30th anniversary of the first Simpsons short Good Night.  It celebrated that fact by airing the Maggie portion of the short followed by a quick song about the anniversary.

Plot Summary
After Bart pulls off more tomfoolery, this time on Seniors day which gets even Grampa in trouble, Skinner gets the idea of his mother, Agnes, be escorted by Bart.  Quickly, though, Bart realizes how much Agnes dotes on the boy just because he shows basic affection for the old lady and decides to make a con out of it.  Soon, he's approached by another old lady, Phoebe, who is on to Bart's scheme but nevertheless offers Bart $100 to help out leave her retirement home for four straight days.

Meanwhile, Homer becomes part of the Pokemon Go Peekimon Get craze, which includes him walking into all sorts of dangerous situations in search of imaginary rewards.  Lisa agrees to join him because she, too, is a big fan of the game.  Eventually, Homer and Lisa agree to just spend real money to acquire the creatures, $600 worth.

Phoebe reveals to Bart that she's a nature photographer and the two enjoy the four days together. Afterward, Phoebe bequests Bart her camera.  Unaware of the meaning of the word 'bequest', Bart eventually learns that its to give an item away before dying.  Recalling relevant memories, including one where Phoebe admits she's going to off herself, Bart realizes he needs help, and recruits Homer and Lisa, whose wilderness experience have improved thanks to their time playing the game.  The two, alongside other veteran players, start their search in perhaps one of the worst animated sequences in recent memory, but ultimately Phoebe is found.

Evidently, Phoebe has found a new meaning in life and decides to not die, requesting back her camera though Bart gets her to agree to have the two of them go on more nature walks.  It turns out this was all a story (albeit apparently true) Bart told Grampa to explain why he was sorry for getting him in trouble.  Also, during all of this Skinner tries to man up but can't.

Quick Review
This episode was unfortunate.  The main storyline with Bart and eventually Phoebe was actually very decent and set itself pretty well for a good, emotional ending.  However, the Pokemon Go-ripoff sidestory, which was nearly a year late in being relevant and even less so in doing the reference well, ruins the main story by becoming a major factor in Bart's search.

The search, which turns into a simulation of the game with Lisa singing the song from the American version of the original anime, was probably the worst thing the show has done since maybe the Ke$ha incident.  The song, which as far as I know isn't even in Pokemon Go itself, was poorly sung and the visuals during the song was both unimpressive and unnecessarily edgy as well.  It completely destroys any emotional impact of Bart's story and, as a result, hampers what could've been one of the season's better episodes.

Final Score: 6.0

Caper Chase (S28, E19-615)

"We know who has made campus culture so stupid,
b-but we're afraid to actually say it, so lets
have squash players represent them!  We're g-good,
right?", probably thought the spineless writers.

Plot Summary
Feeling the need to secure nuclear power's place in the future, Mr. Burns intends to fund a nuclear energy wing at his alma matter, Yale.  Yale, like most modern "colleges" nowadays, declines his offer because its not diverse enough or too heteronormative, whatever that really means.  Upset, Burns later gets advice from Verlander, the owner of multiple low-end colleges to start up his own college, and Lenny further lets him know that you can set up for-profit colleges, so now Burns is all over that.

Burns relocates his plant workers to teach at his college because he doesn't really care at this point.  Homer is, at first, overwhelmed by the act of teaching (somehow) but Lisa, getting over her initial shock of the concept of for-profit colleges, helps instill a sense of passion for his work.  Despite not actually knowing about whatever it is Burns' college is supposed to be about, Homer's passion for teaching inspires his students in some way.  The man who previously gave Burns the idea for the college sees this and is able to get Burns to sell Homer's contract to the man.

Homer, alongside several shoehorned "smart" guest stars, are tasked by Verlander to teach an army of female androids, whose purpose is ultimately revealed to be to sign up for student loans at his colleges so he can rake up profits, I guess.  Homer gets wise to this plot and, after six months apparently, is able to short-circuit the androids by taking advantage of the college climate - the androids are college students, so Homer did something offensive to robots, triggering the androids so badly they exploded.  At the episode's end, he somehow gets the guest stars to teach things to his family.

Quick Review
This episode jumped between "college climate is absurd" to "Homer is a teacher" to "crazy villain plot C" to "college climate is absurd" again.  The guest stars, some of whom are notable but none of whom I feel like mentioning here, provide no real bonus to the episode - I could even say the episode could've benefited without their inclusion and have parodied versions of these people instead, they were that unimpressive.

There were some good jokes here and there but otherwise the episode was dull.  Its wasn't the political disaster I was partly expecting either.  Overall, its your typical zombie Simpson fare.

Final Score: 6.5

A Father's Watch (S28, E18-614)

"Well, the character of John Homer is only partly based on me."

Plot Summary
Bart is still terrible at school.  Marge helps organize an event where an "parenting expert" tells parents that children do better with self-esteem, and that self-esteem comes from praise, endless praise preferably from trophies.  As Marge attempts to give Bart trophies for nothing, Homer gets the idea from Lisa to sell participation trophies to everyone while the fad is still hot.  Despite the success, Homer has Bart assemble the trophies, and Bart does so poorly.  Soon, Bart overhears Homer exclaim how big of a screw-up Bart continues to be.

Depressed, Bart catches Grampa's eye, who decides to pass on the Simpson family heirloom to Bart: an old pocket watch that's been passed down ever since it was stolen.  Feeling an accomplishment from "earning" the watch, Bart's self-esteem goes through the roof.  Meanwhile, upset her hard-earned trophies now mean nothing, Lisa helps organize another event where a different "parenting expert" no-nos trophies and advices parents be hard on their children again.  In the process, Homer's trophy business goes under.

Homer then catches Bart with the pocket watch, an item he had been hoping to acquire for some time, and is super jealous about it.  With the watch, Bart's self esteem and confidence continue to rise, until he loses the watch in the forest.  Bart tries to get Milhouse to help him find it but he only hurts Milhouse in the process.  Frustrated, Milhouse does find the watch but instead just sells it to a pawn shop.  Homer just happens by it to sell off his remaining trophy stock and buys his precious possession.  Bart, unaware of this, is in full panic mode when he learns Grampa set up an interview with the two of them about the watch.  Homer is about to go in and gloat but gives in to Bart's sadness and hands over the watch.

Quick Review
A pleasant surprise!  This episode was good!  (go figure, it wasn't even written by one of the series' regular "writers", Simon Rich filled in for this one)

The jokes were aplenty, the social commentary was limited but used to set up some good gags and the overall plot involving Bart, Homer and Grampa was as good as it'll probably ever be at this point.  Lisa wasn't even that annoying!

This season so desperately needed a gem, and now it has one.  Given what the next episode will probably be about, I suppose this score will be cancelled out soon enough.

Final Score: 8.0

22 for 30 (S28, E17-613)

I'm using this image to remind myself why I scored the episode
so low.  I'll probably forget in the future.

Plot Summary
If you're not familiar with ESPN's 30 for 30 series, basically its sports documentaries usually done very well.  This episode is basically that.

Bart, whose latest prank ends up with him in eternal detention, develops basketball shooting skills while in detention.  He becomes so adept at shooting he joins the school basketball team to annul the detention.  He quickly becomes a star player and, with it, the spoils in every sense of the word.  With Willie no longer willing to coach such an annoyance, Homer volunteers to coach, but even he has enough of Bart's showboating, and politely asks Bart to be a team player.

Fat Tony takes note of Bart's anger at Homer over this and convinces Bart to point shave (win by only a single point or two to be under the spread) to infuriate Homer while, unknown to Bart, Fat Tony would make a killing in bet winnings.  Bart was happy to oblige, despite his antics now drawing the ire of everyone in town because of how obvious the point shaving was, but Bart finally realizes his error when Fat Tony tries to give Bart some of the winnings then asks him to outright lose the finals.

Eventually, with the guidance of Homer and others, Bart defies the mob and just wins the finals for the team.  Fat Tony attempts to get Bart for the betrayal, but Lisa steps in, having found embarrassing information about Tony that forces him to relent.  Afterward, Bart stops playing after a tall kid makes him realize he's not that good.

Quick Review
This episode has lots of ups and downs.  Let's review them, shall we?

Ups:

• Fat Tony was pretty good for the most part this episode.  He basically salvaged it, as much of it could be salvaged.
• Some of the cutaway "interviews" were funny, like with Krusty and especially Grampa.  Milhouse's were mixed.
• Most of the "security cam footage" bits were funny, as was the "FBI audio" bits.

Downs:

• So, like four or five times this episode, it cuts to a guy who is clearly a mimicry of Stephen A. Smith.  Smith, for those who don't know, makes a living "debating" on ESPN morning/afternoon shows, but his style of "debate" is basically loud yelling at whatever "point" his poor counterpart may have made.  The mock Smith in this episode has no counterpart so its just him loudly yelling in general.  Easily, easily the worst part of the episode, he singlehandedly brought its score down by a whole point, he's was that bad.
• There was a little sidebit which mentions Nelson's once-again-missing dad only to find out at the end of the episode that the narrator was Nelson's dad all along.  He reunites with his family only to disappear again.  Keep in mind, there was an episode during the early Zombie seasons which was supposed to bring his father back permanently and nothing happened to explain why he disappeared again.
• Oh here's a fun episode with Bart and Fat Tony and Homer I guess how will they get out of it this tim- oh, its Lisa again.  Yawn.
• Did you know basketball star Stephen Curry was a guest voice, but only provided his voice at the end?  And that he was actually paid (I presume) to say "nothing but nerd"?  Please fire the person who set up that "joke".  If it was Curry himself, please tell him his humor needs work.
• Louie, Fat Tony's goon, was rather chatty in this episode.  It was meant for gags, but it got annoying pretty quick.

So you might notice the downs are more lengthy than the ups.  I wanted to enjoy this episode, it has a some goodwill going for it, but there was just too much against it.  It ends up being a weaker episode for this season, which is saying quite a lot.

Final Score: 5.8

Kamp Krustier (S28, E16-612)

Krusty's oldest friend bails him out yet again.

Plot Summary
This episode acts as a direct sequel to Kamp Krusty, which took place 552 episodes ago but whatever.  You may recall from that episode that the kids were going crazy at the poorly managed camp until Bart led a rebellion and took it over before Krusty came in and made up for it by taking the kids to Mexico, and that with the kids gone Homer was becoming a better man in most ways until he learned of Bart's rise to camp despot then Homer returned to his old self.

The episodes picks up after Krusty returns (most) of the kids from the camp.  The kids are immediately go to therapy, and when signs of PTSD are met with days off from school, Lisa quickly declares she's fine while Bart insists he's as traumatized as they come.  Bart takes full advantage of this situation, for some reason using the opportunity to sleep with his parents in their bedroom.  Due to this, Homer can't continue getting any from Marge like he could before so he instead decides to go to work early.  Then, he slowly but surely relearns how to become a productive member of society, but for some reason must give up sex to continue this way of life.

A short time later, Bart's faked trauma turns real as he recalls a repressed memory from camp.  Forcing Lisa to remember as well, the two start to go nuts over that.  Meanwhile, Marge is becoming frustrated with Homer's new persona and the two get counseling, where they're told that returning the kids to the site of their trauma will fix things, somehow.

At the site of old Kamp Krusty, which Krusty has flipped into a modern adult spa for legal reasons, probably, Bart and Lisa fully remember their repressed memory: a kid named Charlie helped the two make an attempted escape from the camp via canoe but they capsized and Charlie was presumed lost and killed.  However they soon found out that Charlie survived, is an adult who worked as a spy for a magazine while at camp, and now works at the adult spa, who woulda thunk it!?  Meanwhile, Homer finally gives into Marge's wishes and shuts down his brain so that he can let Marge do him a bunch.

That's basically the episode.

Quick Review
This episode marks the second time in three seasons that an episode tries to piggyback off the success of a Season 4 episode.  The last time, when Season 26's The Kids are All Fight tried to act as a sequel to Lisa's First Word, it didn't work out so well.  The writers tried it again with this episode.  I don't know why they're doing this.  I think they're aware that Season 4 is well loved but I don't think they understand why, if these two continuation episodes are of any indication.

This episode ended miserably.  It had set itself up okay, though the Homer and Marge subplot was basically another dull marriage-themed episode in disguise, but once they reached "Klub Krusty", the episode didn't feel like trying anymore.  The resolutions were stupid and Krusty's two decent jokes were literally the only good things about the last few minutes.

If the writers to do a continuation of Marge vs the Monorail may our respective deities take pity on us.

Final Score: 6.5

The Cad in the Hat (S28, E15-611)

When the show did the "we have stories for years" bit all those
years ago, I don't think the writers then envisioned the
show going as low as "Homer and Grampa play chess angrily".

Plot Summary
In a tale told by Bart and Lisa, the scene is set some time earlier.  At the beach, Bart buys a stick-on tattoo which doesn't work too well while Lisa buys a nice hat which earns her many compliments.  Quickly, Bart's jealously grows.  Meanwhile, Homer reveals his ability in chess, admitting that as a kid his father would force him to play as a means of coping with Mona's departure.  On the car ride back, Bart notices Lisa asleep and decides to toss her hat out the car and into the nearby trash dump.  Later that night, Bart is befriended by his guilt but claims that he only welcomes the gross representation of his guilt, at least to start.

However, the guilt gets to him and Bart decides to confess his crime to Lisa, who refuses to forgive him for his deed.  Desperate to make amends, Bart decides ultimately to find Lisa's hat, and after a few trials, does so.  Lisa is initially unwilling to forgive Bart even after this, but as her own guilt starts to set in, she does like her hat and the two eventually make up.

Meanwhile, as Homer continues to explain, as a kid he got tired of his dad beating him in chess so he got help from a chess master and was finally able to beat his father, the act of which forced Grampa to stop all chess in the house from then on.  Moe suggests that Homer's attitudes towards chess are actually subtle hints that he wants to actually murder him.  Homer freaks out and decides to quit but after getting help from renowned chess player Magnus Carlsen, Homer decides to face Grampa in a chess match.  Homer is winning easily, but realizes its not worth it and forfeits, showing he cares for his father by this act somehow.

Quick Review
It was an okay episode, though the couch "gag" ran a bit long and was pretty terrible.  Remember when those were short little gags and not minutes-long animated shorts?  Well, anyway, I'm rambling about that because the episode itself is, per usual, forgettable.  Magnus Carlsen, the chess player, was a decent guest voice.  Patton Oswalt, projecting himself as Bart's guilt, I'm sure, could've been worse, I suppose.

Homer's story was okay; although its actual plot was not that great, it was carried by its decent jokes.  Bart and Lisa's story had no redeeming qualities, however.  "Bart does bad thing to Lisa, Lisa gets mad/sad, Bart makes up for it" has been done a lot already, and much better than this.

Final Score: 5.7

Fatzcarraldo (S28, E14-610)

"We want the Family Guy audience." -these stupid writers

Plot Summary
After an aggravating night dealing with his sisters-in-law, Homer skips out to get a nice, calming, fattening meal.  However, the Krusty Burger as well as every other fast food place has since updated their menu with the latest food fads and Homer can't get his fix.  Homer has to leave town to find something that fits his palate, and finds a lone chili dog stand -Deuce's Caboose - with which he gorges to his heart's content.

Later, Homer learns from Grampa that, as a boy, Homer was left there while his parents underwent unsuccessful marriage counseling.  It was through Deuce that Homer gained his love for chili dogs and other fattening foods.  Though Deuce doesn't seem to remember Homer, Homer resumes eating at his stand, inviting his friends to eat there as well, causing Krusty Burger and similar outlets to lose sales.  Later, Homer decides to take Lisa (whose school radio program got shut down in a very brief sidestory) to the stand, only to find in horror it has been sold.

Deuce sold the stand to Krusty's food empire so he can retire, but as Homer sees the immediate price markup and likely loss of quality, Homer quickly latches the food caboose onto his car and takes off with it.  Lisa, doing one final radio bit, is able to convince several other fatasses to help Homer out in his chase, but the antics eventually lead to him and the caboose hanging on by a thread over a bridge.  Deuce runs up, having remembered Homer, and helps him back up with the caboose falling to its end.  The two reconcile, and that's that, I guess?

Plot Summary
This episode serves as a good definition of Zombie Simpson "dull".  Too many references, not enough jokes.  Glen Close returns to voice past-Mona for a couple of lines, but she clearly phoned it in both literally and figuratively.  Lisa had a tiny little insignificant sidestory that really served no purpose and offered no laughs.  Although not entirely irredeemable, there isn't anything in this episode worth a watch.

Final Score: 5.3

The Great Phatsby (S28, E12-608 & E13-609)

Note: The Great Phatsby is the first hour-long "episode" in the series.  However, for all intents and purposes, its actually two episodes and, as far as I know, its officially counted as the 12th and 13th episodes of the season.  Regardless, I'm doing episode reviews for both parts on this single page.  They were basically the same in terms of quality, anyway.  With that...

The Great Phatsby: Part One

Goosius, more like Goofsius, a-am I-I r-right?  *panicked sweat*

Plot Summary
Mr. Burns longs for the days where he led and hosted lavish, fun parties with his fellow rich socialites.  He attempts to do so again, tasking Smithers to acquire ice but only from the darkest corners of Canada.  Before he departs, Smithers tasks Homer to hand out invitations to Springfield's best but he hands them out randomly.  Not that it matters, as Burns hosts a poor excuse of a party with antiquated rules and an antiquated band.  As the guests leave out of boredom, Homer is the only one that remains to comfort a depressed Burns. 

Homer and Burns, however, notice a big party happening across the lake: a rap mogul party.  The two find the host: Jay-G who owes his success and ruthlessness to a book Burns wrote long ago about ruthlessness as well as a pet goose who acts as a living symbol for his entire line: Goosius.  As Mr. Burns is basically his idol and mentor, Jay-G befriends him.  Convinced to use a top-of-the-line credit card Burns starts to spend his money freely and carelessly, feeling as though he's gone back to the glory days of his youth.

While this is happening, the other Simpsons hang out at the Hamptons near where Jay-G (and Burns, apparently) live.  As its basically rich-person town, Marge comes to learn that all of the shops are owned by the spouses of the rich who need something to do with their free time.  Lisa becomes disgusted by the son of one of the richest men in town, Blake, who is an utter douchebag.  However, Lisa's open disgust of him opens Blake up to "check his privilege" to impress her.  Lisa nearly is until another rich kid successfully entices Lisa with ponies and pony accessories, leaving Blake's humility unwarranted.

Burns' new lifestyle, complete with a posse (albeit its just Homer and his friends), comes to a crashing end when its learned the Burns literally spent all of his money on lavish purchases.  Homer then lets Burns know that Jay-G just released a music video basically admitting his plan to bankrupt Burns and take over all of his possessions, including the nuclear plant, leaving Burns in ruins.

The Great Phatsby: Part Two

Talk about ruthless...

Plot Summary
Torn between his 'loyalty' to Burns and working for Jay-G at the nuclear plant, Homer chooses the latter as dictated by Marge (who has haphazardly opened up a trinket shop in the Hamptons).  Jay-G, who now owns the plant and turned it into a dance party, attempts to secure Homer to his side with endless supplies of cobbler, but Homer regrets his decision.  Stumbling along, he finds Burns being weird at the mausoleum.  Homer renews his loyalty for Burns and together they decide to enact revenge on Jay-G.

With Bart along to help, its decided the best way to ruin Jay-G is to ruin his rep.  To do so, they learn that Jay-G burned many bridges during his ruthless rise to the top.  The two are able to get several rappers and an ex-wife to record a revenge album exposing Jay-G as a fraud.  During a big reveal party, however, its revealed that Jay-G literally re-bought the loyalty of all the rappers and the ex-wife, and that the drive containing the apparently only recording of the album is also in his possession.

Devastated by the decided defeat, Homer and Burns return to Marge's flailing shop to inform her of what's occurred.  With Marge finally free of her delusion of store ownership, Burns simply sulks until he realizes there's been a perfect revenge scheme all along.

Soon, he and Homer sneak into Jay-G's home to nab Goosius with the intent of cooking and eating him.  However, Homer doesn't have the heart to kill Goosius, leaving Burns to attempt to finish the act himself.  Jay-G attempts to stop him, the shenanigans of which leave the two hanging from a chandelier.  Here, Jay-G admits he only ruined Burns because in Burns' own book he wrote that one could only be truly ruthless if they were to destroy the "one who made you".  Burns suddenly feels pride that his legacy of ruthlessness will live on through Jay-G.

The two are still hanging onto the chandelier, but as it falls, Smithers returns with his ice, which has since melted into soft slush that Burns and Jay-G fall into.  Apparently, Jay-G returns Burns' possessions including the plant, but Burns has also learned some things as well, allowing a impromptu dance session at the plant but learns better of it almost immediately.

Double Review
Here are the things I liked about the episodes:

• Smithers' quest for ice.
• The entire Hamptons side story with Marge, including crazy shop sign man.
• Homer's narration.
• Most of the parts with just Homer.
• Bart's role in Part 2.

 Here are the things I didn't like about the episodes:

• Most of the rap stuff.  Sorry, it was a) boring and b) not funny.  Unfortunately, that makes up a lot of these two episodes.
• Lisa's sidestory with Blake.
• The guest voices were mostly dull or pointless, for instance Charles Barkley's entire contribution was "Still better than Shaq!", I mean, why even bother?
• The part in, uh, Part 2, when the revenge group betrayed Burns, where Jay-G and his new sold out gang appear to Burns as holograms, like this isn't goddamn Star Trek why didn't they just show up at the thing?

Part 2, I felt, tried more with the jokes, albeit there were more misses than in Part 1.  Part 1 was dull in several spots, like when Homer and Burns were wading through Jay-G's party and the entire thing with Blake wasn't very good either.  I think the episodes would've fared better if, in Part 1, the Blake stuff was gone and the stuff with Jay-G was funnier.  Part 2 would've been better if the entire middle portion wasn't the "guest voice" segment that basically brought the whole thing down.  The first acts of both parts were the best things going for each.

So, overall, these two episodes fared about the same, and about on average for your Season 28 / Zombie Simpsons episode.  Given the pomp and circumstance of it being an episode so grand you needed a whole hour to get through it, though, its certainly underwhelming even with the lessened expectations of this era of Simpsons.

Part 1 Final Score: 6.4
Part 2 Final Score: 6.6
Combined Final Score: 6.5

Pork and Burns (S28, E11-607)

"Why did you bring me back?  Just end me now.", the pig is likely thinking.

Plot Summary
Marge takes heed of a questionable Japanese tidiness guide and has the family start throwing stuff away if it is believed that it doesn't bring them joy.  Lisa, in particular, freaks out over this, and finds that a lot of things in her life do not bring her joy and are subsequently discarded.  Homer is reluctant to give up so many of his prized possessions, and that includes his prized pig, Plopper, previously known as Spider-Pig.  Homer doesn't want to give the pig up but Marge forces him to.  After a failed attempt, Homer learns that some pets can act as therapy pets for cases such as anxiety, and thus Homer successful gets Plopper to be his security pet with whom he brings all over with him.

Homer's demeanor calms as Plopper really does act as a therapy pet for Homer.  Soon, the family goes to a family function hosted by Mr. Burns.  Burns' hounds pick up the scent of the pig, and rush at it, maiming though not killing the pig.  Burns and crew confiscate the pig under the premise of healing it but in actuality they just want to eat it.  However, after the pig is fixed Burns takes a liking to the pig and decides to make it his pet.  Homer catches on and sneaks in at night to get it back.  Smithers aids in this endeavor as Burns fondness of the pig has made him pretty jealous.  Homer is so happy to get his pig back he's even willing to forgo beer to stay with him, a mistake Marge gladly takes Homer up on.

While that's happening, Lisa continues ridding herself of everything that brings her no joy, which now includes even her saxophone.  Bart is able to help her overcome her funk by giving her back her passion for music, and Marge later reveals she didn't actually throw anything away, she just put it all in a storage locker, so Lisa ends up okay, again.

Quick Review
The episode started off very poorly and the Lisa sideplot was fairly dull as well.  I was also hesitant about an episode based around the movie pig - can you believe its nearly been 10 years since the movie? - but the jokes and gags featuring Homer and pig worked quite well for a good chunk of the middle portion of the episode.  After Burns nabs him the episode dips in quality again but up to that point Homer and Plopper were salvaging what was otherwise a terrible episode.

Final Score: 7.0

The Last Traction Hero (S28, E09-605)

Tone it down Marge goddamn, at least Smithers has Burns praying for goodness sake.

Plot Summary
Homer's mischief at work lands him a fall through Mr. Burns' trap door.  However, the trap door is undergoing renovations, and as a results Homer actually gets hurt from it.  Further, because its undergoing renovation, it no longer benefits from old laws which protected Burns from lawsuits.  Essentially, Homer has legal grounds to sue.  Burns sends Smithers to trick Homer into signing a waiver of liability but it only reminds Homer that he can, in fact sue.

While Homer is recuperating, Marge decides to spend more time with him but does so in such a boring way Homer quickly grows weary of her company.  Smithers takes notice of this and decides to befriend Marge, hoping this will somehow get Homer to sign the waiver.  However, as the two talk Marge becomes attracted to Smithers and the latter, realizing this, decides to back off.  Marge, her sexual tension unresolved, decides to use Homer to relieve herself.  Homer realizes what's happened but doesn't care because, hey, sex.

Meanwhile, Lisa catches a fight in the school bus on her phone and reports it to Principal Skinner.  In response, Skinner makes Lisa a bus monitor, and Lisa has complete control over student seating.  As per usual with Lisa, the power goes to her head but eventually the other students rebel, causing mass chaos on the bus.  Lisa realizes that its not that great to be a know-it-all and promises to cut back on it but can't help herself.

Having failed to secure the waiver, Burns orders Smithers to stop visited, which saddens Marge in more ways than one.  Realizing that a friendless Marge is no good, Homer decides to tell Burns he'll drop the lawsuit under the condition that Smithers gets to visit Marge again, which Burns agrees to.  However, because he made his lawyer upset by giving up the lawsuit, Homer makes it up to him by promising to slip on the courthouse steps to setup another lawsuit, however Marge also gets hurt by trying to stop him.  The two reconcile, unable to move on their bed with Grampa spilling hot soup on them all the time, but now they have all the time in the world to talk to each other.

Quick Review
I went into this expecting a marriage-themed episode.  It never reaches that level (i.e. one separates from the other or makes the threat), but from Marge wanting to kiss Smithers and takes those sexual frustrations out on Homer, to Homer being perfectly okay with it, to the point where he was willing to drop a lawsuit to keep being okay with it, just didn't sit right at all.  I guess I should consider myself lucky that it wasn't another marriage episode but the odd characterizations made me wish it was.  Almost.

This episode was another case of where the sidestory was short and pointless.  The humor slows to a crawl in the second half of the episode as well.  Overall, yet another low-tier episode from what has been another low-tier Zombie Simpsons HD season.

Final Score: 6.2

There Will Be Buds (S28, E06-602)

Digital animation doesn't really do too well with scale and perspective, does it?

Plot Summary
Youth football in Springfield is cancelled amidst fears of concussions.  A town hall is set up to discuss alternatives.  Kirk van Houten has one, but is to meek to get anyone to pay attention, except for Marge who convinces Homer to help Kirk be heard.  Homer gets everyone's attention toward Kirk, which Kirk takes as a genuine sign of friendship.  He then tells everyone about his alternate sport: lacrosse, which everyone loves.  Kirk agrees to start up a youth lacrosse team on the condition that Homer, his new friend, becomes an assistant coach.  Not willing to disappoint the town or the kids, Homer reluctantly accepts.

As Kirk relives his glory days of lacrosse - shattered literally when he broke his hand high-fiving a knight mascot - Homer is having a worse time.  His role being only to slice oranges, having to wake up early and travel to other towns for tournaments pales in comparison to hanging out with Kirk, Homer finds out.  Kirk's "rice sandwich", an apparent carb booster, is otherwise unappealing.  Kirk also likes to vape and go to strip clubs when Luann isn't around.  Homer gets increasingly annoyed by this but keeps it to himself.  Following a road trip where Springfield won their way to a championship game, Homer walks off on his own and sings about how much he can't stand Kirk, while Kirk simultaneously walks off on his own and sings about how much he likes Homer.  The two meet up at the end of their respective songs, where Kirk learns Homer doesn't actually like him.

Its the day of the championship, but Kirk is nowhere to be seen.  Luann informs everyone that Kirk has indeed gone missing but also took out a large sum of money - all in singles.  Homer realizes that Kirk has gone to the strip club in turmoil and Marge has Homer go and get him, Homer being responsible for Kirk's current state.  In the strip club, Homer finds Kirk spending money on strippers solely to have them listen to him ramble.  Homer again admits to Kirk that he doesn't like him, but thanks to his work with the lacrosse team, Homer has come to respect him.  Remembering that respect is a thing too, Homer and Kirk evade the multitude of fees the strip club has piled on Kirk and with the help of the single mom strippers who also have kids, the two return to the game on time to help Springfield win the title.  Homer and Kirk high five each other afterward, only to break their hands, now Homer has to share a hospital room with the guy he respects but doesn't like.

Quick Review
This ended up being an okay episode.  Some of the gags were bland or unfunny and the episode's sport-focused plotline felt a little forced but the episode didn't try to force a reference-fest or do anything else stupid, so the episode ends up getting a respectable score.

Final Score: 7.1

Trust But Clarify (S28, E05-601)

Why do the writers make Artie so antagonistic towards Kent?

Plot Summary
Krusty releases a new brand of snacks, which Lisa finds suspicious.  Meanwhile, Kent Brockman gets caught lying about an experience of his and is fired from his job as a result.  While this is all happening, Homer's latent ambition surfaces and its first order of business is to get Homer dressed for success.

Lisa and Bart come to realize that Krusty's new snack is composed primarily of formaldehyde, which is basically poison.  Lisa tries to take the story to the news, but as Krusty is a big donor to big news, they won't take the story.  Meanwhile, Kent tries to latch onto Buzz- er, "Bizzfad", but it goes bankrupt before he has a chance to screw up.  Lisa finds Kent to try and have him break the story, but he's too depressed about his failed career to take it up.

Homer's attempt to dress for success fails when Mr. Burns finds Homer's appearance comical still, and although Homer doesn't regret the attempt, Homer's ambition is kicked out of his head for its failure.

Kent gets advice from Dan Rather to take up Lisa's story because its the ethical thing to do, I guess.  Motivated, Kent and Lisa expose Krusty, which is enough to get Kent his old job back at the station, and Lisa receives unpaid credit for his return, the highest honor.

Quick Review
This was a dull, boring episode.  Homer's sidestory was short and pointless, and the media storyline wasn't any better.  It, again, references events that most people already forgot, and tries to go with a "the current media is pretty bad, except maybe its not?" theme that is rushed and just falls flat.

Perhaps the episode's lone good moment was at the beginning: Bart and Lisa were watching an Itchy & Scratchy cartoon and although it seemed like the cartoon was going to be another artsy reference-fest, it ended up being a quick violence gag like how Itchy & Scratchy should be.  It got a good chuckle out of me, the only time the episode was able to do so.

Final Score: 5.9

Treehouse of Horror XXVII (S28, E04-600)

It would've been easy for Lisa to poke a hole in
that wrap where Milhouse's gaping mouth is, but
she didn't do it. It really makes you think...

Plot Summary
The episode opens up with the Simpsons going Christmas-tree shopping, only to be ambushed by the enemies of Simpsons past: Sideshow Bob, the ghost of Frank Grimes, Kang or Kodos (its not specified which), and for some reason that leprechaun from that one Treehouse of Horror.  Maggie quickly decapitates everyone except the ghost who instead comes to realize that the show is now 600 episodes old.

Dry Hard
Despite the reference in the title, this is basically a full Hunger Games reference.  Burns has all of the remaining water in town, and has decided to make the kids fight each other to get the water as a reward.  However, Lisa successfully bands the town together to take the reservoir.  However, its not actually that much water, but thankfully it starts to rain right then and there, and then it rains too much.  Sorry I'm not more descriptive, this segment bored me.
Individual Score: -0.3

BFF / R.I.P.
Lisa's friend Janie dies from a mysterious lawnmower accident.  Sherri and Terri decide to be Lisa's friend out of pity but they are immediately crushed by a large tombstone for their act.  After Lisa's therapist dies after offering her friendship, the police suspect that Lisa is actually behind four murders.  When the police find evidence of nail polish at the scenes of the crime and in Lisa's room, Lisa claims she only used it with her imaginary friend, Rachel.  Lisa dreamt up Rachel because she had no friends, and though the two supposedly had lots of fun, Lisa gave Rachel up as part of her "growing up".  The police don't buy it.

Later, Milhouse is still willing to be Lisa's friend, but Lisa witnesses Rachel appear to suffocate Milhouse.  Lisa tries to get Rachel to stop, but its too late, and the police arrest Lisa for the murder.  Soon after, Lisa lets it slip that Marge encouraged her to abandon her imaginary friend in the first place, causing Rachel to seek revenge.

Bart finds Lisa in prison during one of his prison runs and frees her, Lisa's vivid imagination able to secure transportation for the two.  Meanwhile, Rachel's initial attempt to kill Marge ends in a heroic sacrifice by the cat.  A second attempt is stopped by Lisa and Bart who arrive home in time, but as Rachel proclaims she can't be stopped because only Lisa can see her, Homer claims he can as well, because he's wasted.  As Rachel attacks Homer, he gets his old imaginary friend Sergeant Sausage to help.  The Sergeant attempts to reason with Rachel but Rachel stuffs him in the microwave and cooks him.

Lisa has had enough and starts to imagine Rachel instead as an older mother who is married to a dentist.  This reimagining is enough to drive Rachel away, saving Marge.  Homer honors the loss of his friend by eating his imaginary remains.
Individual Score: +1.3

Moefinger
Bart is saved from Jimbo and pals by Moe, who reveals to Bart that he, and his bar regulars, are actually secret agents.  Apparently, Homer died recently and so Moe asks Bart to essentially take his place.  The group gets a new assignment to look into the shade dealing of a "Remoh" corporation at the baseball stadium its just bought.  Upon doing so, they find that Homer has in fact survived and has turned into the supervillain they've been looking for.  Homer sics legions of brainwashed people at them, but Bart - despite practically no training - kills them all, then kills Homer as well.

As this is basically a James Bond reference, Bart of course gets his girl (Sherri rather than Terri because the former makes an easier pun), and the Goldfinger theme is parodied to note the fact, once again, that the show has now aired 600 episodes.
Individual Score: +0.5

Quick Review
As you can see, my descriptions of the segments are quite proportional to how well I liked them.  Given the quality of the other two, the imaginary friend storyline shouldn't really be here, its too good to be stuck in this otherwise bottom-dwelling Treehouse of Horror.

What really set BFF/R.I.P. ahead of the other two was simple: it stuck to the basics, limited the pointless referencing and threw out morbid joke after morbid joke, most of which worked very well.  I might have overrated it a little given I had just suffered through the Hunger Games reference, but I really did enjoy this segment and how it had so little nonsense that brought it down.  I think the weakest thing about it was the Drew Carey 'cameo' during it where he had literally one line.  It was a decent line but either have him do more or not bring him on at all, I feel.  Still, that's basically my only complaint for that segment.

The other two, however, were far worse.  They were just full of references and the Hunger Games segment in particular was very bad on this.  Despite never having watched/read any Hunger Games material, the references were very obvious but, even worse, the segment focused more on getting the reference right than making the jokes funny.  That's why it has become my least favorite Halloween segment yet (edging out the Clockwork Yellow one from a couple of years ago by two tenths of a point).

The spy one was nearly as bad, but its jokes worked a bit better.  That segment suffered from poor pacing and having that awful "tribute" to 600 episodes tacked on its end.  Otherwise, it wasn't a bad segment.

So, overall, its another low-end Treehouse of Horror, not as bad as two years ago thanks to BFF/R.I.P., but not as good as last year's mediocre effort either.  Oh, if only the writers and staff can just figure out that the show would be so much better with the dynamic of the BFF/R.I.P. segment and not the rest of this broken, broken mess.  If only...

Final Score: 6.4

The Town (S28, E03-599)

It'd be awkward if he knelt during the anthem, wouldn't it?

Plot Summary
At Moe's, Homer and his bar mates cheer on the Springfield Isotopes in a football game against the "Boston Americans", whose handsome quarterback and grumpy coach find a way to win the game via methods that Springfield fans would easily consider "cheating", but Boston fans who coincidentally are also at the bar write off as ingenious strategy.  Homer in particular is upset over the game, and Boston fans in particular over their smugness, so imagine his shock when he comes home to find Bart wearing a Boston hat, also displaying the cockiness of a typical Boston fan.

Small efforts to make Bart see the error of his bandwagoning ways fail, so Homer decides to take the family on a "hate-cation", a trip to Boston with every intention to make the family, well, Bart, hate the city in the process.

However, Marge is in love with Massachusetts' supposed high standards of living, while Lisa loves Boston's higher educational standards.  Even Homer's opinion changes once he is introduced to candlepin bowling - an easier variant of the sport.  Overnight, Homer and Marge make the decision to stay in Boston permanently, a decision Bart and Lisa wholeheartedly agree with.

However, Bart's intrigue with Boston - one based on the supposed rough 'n' tough hooliganism nature of the town coupled with the boorish manner of its sports fans - isn't coming to fruition.  This is made evident in school as while Lisa thrives, detention for Bart is actually, well, detention.  Further, everyone he finds in Boston seems nicer than what he was led to believe.  Despite Lisa's verbal threats to keep things as they are now, Bart decides he wants no more of this and opts to reset the status quo.

Bart takes the family to a parade for the Boston Americans for having won, uh, something in an attempt to get Homer to crack.  Torn between rooting for his new hometown team and his pre-existing hatred for the team, Homer literally tears up a Boston cap and calls the team - in their and the fans' faces - a bunch of cheaters.

The scene cuts back to Springfield, the Simpsons having moved back after probably becoming enemy #1 in Boston.  Bart finds newfound respect for his new town, while Lisa - her dreams shattered once more - deludes herself into thinking she's still there.

Quick Review
While the other two episodes in this season have taken the, well, boring approach, this episode does a much better job at throwing out jokes and, sadly, pointless references.  The parts of the episode that focus on Lisa are particularly awful about this.  Despite the episode focusing around a topical issue again, the comedy surrounding it fared much better than it usually does.  While there are a lot of good jokes throughout the episode, there are quite a few bad ones as well.  The episode also spends a lot of time being quite kind of Boston, in fact I don't think there was anything made fun of regarding the town other than "some of the sports fans are jerks".

Overall, while the episode has a lot of good going for it, it did misstep quite often, preventing it from reaching its potential.  A shame, too, Season 28's gotten off to a poor start, it could've really used a better version of this episode.

Final Score: 7.0

Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus (S28, E01-597)

Skinner: Attention, an old man is prowling the school
looking for young children, please perform for him.

Plot Summary
The town is stunned when it learns that the Lard Lad statue has mysteriously vanished.  The company installs a new, 'modern' one, whose donut is apparently concave enough to reflect the sun's rays into a death beam, destroying nearly the entire town.  With the town still in shambles six months later, the Simpsons decide to plea with the rich Mr. Burns.  Burns is unwilling but when an old memory stills in him, he is compelled to help with the stipulation that the rebuild focuses on the old Springfield Bowl (an outdoor performance hall), so that he can host a children's performance there.

As Burns rallies up children to be part of his show, including hiring Lisa to be his assistant, memories of a show that he did as a child begin to haunt him.  Ultimately, Lisa triggers one memory too much and Burns cancels the show as a result.

Meanwhile, with Burns preoccupied, the workers at the nuclear plant decide to turn their workplace into a permanent party zone.  Marge expresses her concerns with Homer - who is the plant's lone safety inspector, mind you -  causing Homer to relent and refocus his efforts then on getting the plant back on track.

Later, Lisa presses Burns on his actions, but Smithers shows Lisa what really is getting at Burns.  When Burns was a child, he was entered into a children show similar to the one he's in now, but during his performance his clothes unfurled and his bare butt laid out for all to see.  The ensuing embarrassment and laughter haunts Burns to this day, but Lisa convinces Burns to go through with his new show to get back at those who laughed at him, somewhat.

Burns' show ends up going well, and even gets a surprise fireworks show thanks to Homer's inability to control things at the plant and allowing popcorn to pop just too much in the plant's core.  However, Burns isn't done, and ends the show with the same routine he did as a kid - little sailor's suit and all.  It goes just as poorly - little butt baring and all.  Still, somehow, Burns is no longer haunted by the past and thanks Lisa for her help, I guess?

Quick Review
This was a bland, boring episode.  Yeah, a few decent jokes here and there (and some that missed the mark) but not nearly enough to salvage things.  The sideplot with the nuclear plant was the episode's strong point as the main plot with Burns (and Lisa, who tends to drag things whenever she's the focus as we're all mostly aware of now) wasn't good.  The Adventure Time homage couch gag was cringey as well.  Season 28 is off to a poor start.

Final Score: 6.1