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| Ziff might be a loser in love, but the man takes advantage of his chances. |
In this episode, Homer has a pretty bad snoring problem, so loud Marge can't get any sleep. Dr. Hibbert has a procedure to fix it, but it costs too much money. Unable to deal with Homer's snoring, Marge visits her sisters for a night. Before she gets to sleep, though, Patty and Selma get Marge to have a few drinks and watch some TV. The news comes up, stating that among a list of America's richest men, Artie Ziff is 5th. Ziff, for those of you who can't recall, was Marge's prom date back in high school, but his aggressive play after the prom caused Marge to stow away from him and towards Homer. Drunk, Marge is convinced by her sisters to send Artie an e-mail, with her sisters making the e-mail more suggestive than Marge would like. Artie receives the e-mail, where its revealed that he's a little too obsessed with Marge.
The next morning, a well rested Marge is stunned to see Artie arrive in a helicopter. He invites the family to his personal yacht, where he makes a proposal to Homer and Marge: he'll give the two $1,000,000 if Marge spends the weekend with him, and not even with any sex involved! Marge calls the idea sick and quickly takes her leave. That night, during another round of Homer's loud snoring, he suggests that the million could be used to have the procedure for his snoring, but Marge refuses. The next morning, a sleepless Marge changes her tune and agrees to spend the weekend with Artie.
Artie takes Marge to a recreation of their high school prom, promising he won't become the vulgar beast that ruined their original prom date all those years ago. Meanwhile, Homer brags about his upcoming financial boon at the bar, but the others there convince him that Artie is probably going to do Marge, likely repeatedly. Panicked, Homer rushes over to Artie's - somehow - and despite efforts to have him dragged away, Homer is able to spy on the scene from above. During this, as Marge rebuffs her commitment to Homer, Artie tricks Marge into kissing him, and I mean kissing. Homer witnesses only this moment without the proper context, and runs off in tears. Marge, however, shakes Artie off her and decides to leave, no longer interested in the million dollars.
At the bar, Homer comes to grips to the end of his life. He convinces Lenny to leave town with him and never come back. The two go to West Springfield, three times the size of Texas, and work at a dangerous oil rig, willing to die whenever. Marge is left a tape when she returns home, with Homer admitting he saw the kiss and that he was leaving town forever. The kids quickly learn Homer is in West Springfield, but with its size Marge realizes there's only one way to find Homer quickly.
Marge has Artie bring along his helicopter to find Homer. Homer and Lenny, meanwhile, accidentally start a fire at an oil rig, and both are ready to accept their fates. However, the helicopter arrives, and though Homer is initially unwilling to be rescued, Artie convinces Homer that Marge's heart belongs to Homer and that he's won. Homer relents and gets on the helicopter (as does Lenny when he sees Carl aboard). Later, as Homer unsuccessfully tries to get the million anyway, Artie ensures that he'll still help them. He does so by giving the two a 'snore converter', which turns Homer's snores into a song, though it doesn't take long for Artie to reveal that he has a camera (and apparently a speaker) hidden within the device.
Quick Review
This was another okay episode. Jon Lovitz's return as Artie Ziff was appreciated, and when the plot was focused on his unhealthy fixation on Marge, things were going good. The latter part of the episode, where Homer and Lenny go out to an oil rig to die wasn't so great, and the parts where Lenny and Carl's relationship is implied to be much more intimate than I needed to know were doing the episode no favors. Its not a bad episode, though it could've been a lot better.
Final Score: 7.2
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