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| "Curse the producers for giving me Jodie Foster's voice", she was probably thinking. |
Marge takes Lisa to get her first manicure. Lisa, in her stubborn manner, tries to tell Marge that its more important that a woman be smart and powerful rather than look pretty, but Marge counters that a woman can be all three, telling her about Queen Elizabeth I as an example.
Queen Elizabeth I
The Queen (Selma) is taking in suitors to be her husband. She turns down multiple suitors, including the King of Spain (Julio). However, she takes a liking to Walter Raleigh (Homer), who offers the Queen tobacco as a gift. However, Walter takes a liking to the Queen's Lady in Waiting (Marge), and Elizabeth quickly finds out, sending the two to be executed. However, before that order can be carried out, she learns that Spain has gone to war against England. She sends a ship to fight against it. Unwittingly, Walter sets the ship on fire; as its crew goes overboard the blazing ship sets aflame the entire Spanish armada, winning the war for England. Elizabeth allows Walter to marry the Lady in Waiting, admitted that she doesn't need a man as long as she has England.
Individual Score: -0.1
The Version of Snow White That Doesn't Belong to Disney
Lisa retorts about the dangers of obsessing over beauty, deciding to retell the story about Snow White. To avoid legal troubles, the tale also features seven untrademarked dwarves: Crabby (Moe), Drunky (Barney), Hungry (Homer), Greedy (Burns), Lenny, Kearney, and Doc(tor Hibbert) who sing an original yet familiar sounding song as they operate a gem mine. Nearby, a wicked queen (Lindsey Naegle, I guess) asks her HDTV in the wall who the prettiest woman is. Angrily, she learns that person to be Snow White (Lisa). She has someone (Willie) attempt to assassinate Snow White, but he can't go through with it and prompts Snow White to flee. She hides at the seven Dwarves' house, and they let her stay. One day, with the dwarves at work, the wicked queen uses her shapeshifting abilities to turn into an old hag, who ambushes Snow White and forces her to eat a poisoned apple. Though the woodland animals take care of the queen, Snow White falls into a coma.
Then Lisa explains that Snow White eventually was cured by a woman doctor and lived a pedestrian life from then on.
Individual Score: +0.2
Lady MacBeth in the Real World Which is Actually Just an Alternate Ficticious Reality
Bothered by Homer, Marge decides to tell Lisa about a retelling of Lady MacBeth, but with Simpsons characters being themselves. In this lengthy tale that feels like a rejected Treehouse of Horror segment, Marge is upset that the only role Homer could get in an upcoming Lady MacBeth play is that of a tree. She is further upset that the lead role is filled by Sideshow Mel, and orders Homer to kill him so Homer can take his role. Homer reluctantly does so and sure enough Homer now is given the lead role in the play. The next day, though, reviews are in that proclaim Dr. Hibbert as the star of the show. Angered, Marge has Homer kill him as well. The next day, reviews of the previous nights play has Homer in dead last compared to five other actors, so Marge has Homer kill all of them as well. Marge is only upset at this point because Homer killed those actors in costume, which she has to clean. However, the ghosts of those killed haunt Marge, fully aware that her intent to kill is the true malice of the situation. Marge is unable to handle it and dies from a heart attack. Homer mourns Marge's death, but is relieved he can stop acting until Marge's ghost comes and forces Homer to keep going. Its the final showing of the play, there are no other actors, and nobody is there to watch it, but Homer finally provides a stunning performance of his part. Ghost Marge is proud of Homer, and gives him several more plays for him to try out, but Homer has enough and shoots himself so that his ghost self doesn't have to worry about acting anymore.
Individual Score: +0.2
Maggie Roark
As the show now breaks things up into four segments, there's still enough time for one more story, so Marge tells another one based around Maggie (and Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead for some reason). In it, Maggie is in a preschool run by a guy who actively diminishes creative thinking. Leaving the babies blocks to mess around with, the teacher is continuously forced to destroy Maggie's creations in an attempt to dull her creative sense. It comes to a head when Maggie showcases another blocked beauty during a showcase to parents. As a result, the teacher takes Maggie to trial, with the other babies as the jury. After the teacher makes his case, Maggie defends herself. Suddenly being guest voiced by Jodie Foster, Maggie tells everyone that like others in the past, she refuses to let her creative talent go to waste for anyone. Marge then explains that Maggie grows up to be a successful architect and builds a day care which encourages creativity, but before Marge can finish the story she stops Maggie from messing up a wall with nail polish, ironically ignoring that Maggie had repainted a famous work of art in the process.
Individual Score: -0.1
Quick Review
This was a pretty bad episode. Telling four stories really puts a cramp in each of them, not really letting any of them hit a stride. Its made worse with the Lady MacBeth story line being nearly twice as long as the others ones yet that one still wasn't funny. Really, none of these stories - some of which were peppered with Lisa's annoying self-service - were any good, and they all combine to make the worst episode of the season.
Final Score: 4.4
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