Strong Arms of the Ma (S14, E09-300)

Marge proves time and time again she can be the craziest of them all.

Plot Summary
Rainier Wolfcastle is selling everything after going bankrupt, and the Simpsons take advantage.  After the family buys a lot of crap, including Wolfcastle's first weightlifting set, Marge drives the family home after there's no room left in the car for Homer.  She makes an emergency stop at the Kwik-E-Mart to change Maggie's diaper, going to the bathroom in the back of the store to do so, but on her way out is stopped by a mugger who grabs her pearl necklace and runs for it.

The experience greatly traumatizes Marge, who quickly develops a fear of going outside.  Homer and the kids attempt to help Marge overcome this new fear, but they only make things worse, and now Marge doesn't even want to leave the basement.  Though Marge is saddened over her condition, she takes a liking to that weightlifting set Homer hasn't bothered using, and starts lifting.  In two weeks, Marge has gotten a lot stronger, and in a dash to get a lemon, goes outside with no problem.  Marge is so free from her fear of going outside she even coincidentally runs into and subsequently beats up the thief who mugged her.

Feeling some kind of thrill from that, Marge continues lifting weights.  She sees a group of bodybuilders during a run and checks it out.  She finds her old neighbor, Ruth Powers, among them.  Ruth tells Marge that if she doesn't want to be seen as weak and pathetic, she should take steroids, which Marge does rather excessively.  She enters in a competition and wins 2nd place.  At a 'celebration' party at Moe's, Marge goes through a class example of roid rage and pretty much beats up everyone except Homer, who helps Marge realize that her new aggressive behavior is so unlike her.  Marge calms down and admits Homer is right.  She throws away the weightlifting set and decides to go back to her old self, though I am fairly sure muscles don't work the way she and Homer thinks it does.

Quick Review
This had been an okay episode to start, but it started to fall apart in the final act when Marge gets all hopped up on steroids, nothing really funny happening there - not even when Marge roid rages on everyone.  So, this ends up being another less-than effort for Season 14.

Also, this was the 300th episode, despite FOX advertising Barting Over as the episode for some reason.

Final Score: 6.9

Marge on the Lam (S05, E06-087)

"Ah, ballet..."

Plot Summary
After Marge foolishly gives money to public television, she earns two tickets to a ballet.  Homer, mistaking ballet for a circus act where a bear drives around in a mini car, is initially excited, then less so when Lisa clues him in on what ballet is.  The night of the ballet, though, a coin-less Homer notices a crystal soda machine and, with no money, decides to put his arm in the machine to grab a can, trapping it.  After getting his free arm trapped in a candy machine, Homer somehow finds a way to call Marge to tell her he can't make it home in time.  Distraught, Marge gets an opportunity to invite her neighbor Ruth Powers (previously in New Kid on the Block) to the ballet.  The two have fun, and as Homer makes it home (turns out, his arms were only stuck because he wouldn't let go of the soda/candy), he becomes somewhat irked that Marge has found a friend to go out at night with.

The next night, Marge and Ruth go out again.  Jealous, Homer decides to have fun too, though he needs a babysitter for Lisa and Bart.  Lionel Hutz just happens to be outside scrummaging through garbage, and Homer pays him $8 to keep an eye on the kids for the night, which is an adventure of itself.  Marge and Ruth, meanwhile, have a great night doing this and that, and to cap off the night, go to the hilltop where a large Hollywood-esque "Springfield" sign stands.  After a little reminiscing, the two decide to head on back.  Just after they leave, Homer arrives, his previous attempts at having fun not working out, and Chief Wiggum stumbles upon him.  Wiggum decides to take Homer home.  His cop car ends up behind Ruth's car on the way back.  Wiggum notices that one tail light is smaller than the other, and turns on the siren.  Ruth then lets Marge know something important: after her ex-husband failed to pay child support, Ruth stole his car.  Not wanting to get caught, Ruth speeds off, turning off her lights in the dark to confuse and scare both Wiggum and Homer.

That morning, Ruth drops Marge off at a gas station slash diner combo, advising Marge not to get involved and to take a taxi home.  However, after seeing several instances of friends (or waffles) sticking together at the diner, Marge decides to stick with Ruth to the end.  Wiggum and Homer see the two head back the other way and call the entire Springfield police force to give chase.  The ladies get close to the state line, but a line of cop cars appear in the way.  With Ruth about to give up, Marge refuses to let Ruth do so, turning the car into the open.  Soon, though, they are heading towards the "Great Chasm", not aware of it either.  Homer, still in Wiggum's car, tries to talk to Marge, and warns the two of the chasm.  They stop in time, but Wiggum's car drives right into the chasm... and into a giant dump of garbage within the chasm that saves their lives.

In the end, Ruth keeps the car and forces her ex to pay the child support, Lionel Hutz is paid the $8 for 32 hours of babysitting, Marge is forced to pay 5 cents for shooting antique cans plus $2000 in emotional damages, and Homer is sent to an Army chemical facility for testing, which he gladly agrees to do.

Quick Review
Marge on the Lam has its best moments with the sidestories, whether its Homer getting his arms stuck in vending machines or Lionel Hutz spending more time burning away his identity than actually babysitting.  The main plot with Marge and Ruth has its moments, but not really enough to claim it among Season 5's best episodes.

Final Score: 8.7

New Kid on the Block (S04, E08-067)

Its no wonder I don't see as many all you can eats these days...

Plot Summary
As I've said in another episode review (specifically Bart the Lover), these earlier episode rarely have Bart in a position where he's even infatuated with another girl.  In the Season 3 episode Bart's Friend Falls in Love, he even says to Milhouse that such things are not a concern to him at the episode's end.  It may or may not explain a lot that these later seasons have several episodes where Bart has a girlfriend.  In any case, New Kid on the Block is the first episode in which Bart actually finds himself in love with another girl.

It happens after the elderly couple the Winfields decide to move out.  Despite struggles to sell the house due to potential buyers seeing and being disgusted by Homer's antics, the house eventually does sell.  Shortly thereafter, Bart and Lisa sneak into the basement of that house from outside, and after Bart scares Lisa away with a horror tale, he is snuck up on by another person, scaring him so hard he passes out.  Upon coming to, he sees a girl somewhat older than her - Laura Powers - and instantly becomes infatuated with her.

Meanwhile, Homer sees a commercial for an "all you can eat" seafood restaurant and decides to go there with Marge (despite Marge having an allergy to fish).  Bart suggests Laura be their babysitter for the night, and with Homer eager to eat non-stop he agrees.  As Laura continues to unintentionally steal Bart's heart, Homer indeed eats non-stop at the restaurant, going late into the night.  Finally, the restaurant's owner, then named Captain McCallister, kicks Homer out after Homer practically ate everything.  Still, upset that he did not eat all he could eat, Homer decides to sue the restaurant (Lionel Hutz later calls Homer the greatest hero in American history).

The next day or so, Bart begins asking around for tips to get Laura to notice him.  Talks with Grampa and Homer are mostly fruitless.  Frustrated, Bart is surprised to see Laura call him to the treehouse.  There, Laura tells him shocking news: she has a boyfriend and, worse yet, its Jimbo Jones.  Devastated (and not too happy when he overhears Laura saying "he's just a kid" after leaving with Jimbo), Bart is determined to prove himself to her.

The day Homer's lawsuit goes to court arrives, and again Laura is babysitting.  This night, Laura has Jimbo come over for a "study session".  Needing to act quickly, Bart decides to prank call Moe, but afterwards tell Moe that he's Jimbo Jones, providing an address as well, knowing full well Moe would come rushing over to enact some kind of vengeance after all those prank calls.

Meanwhile, Homer's court case is moving along nicely.  It turns out Captain McCallister is not actually a sea captain, and Marge retells the story of that night, where after being kicked out they tried to find another all you can eat seafood restaurant and, upon failing to find one, going fishing instead.  Losing the favor of a rather overweight jury, the Captain decides to make a plea deal with Homer: Homer can indeed eat all he can eat at the restaurant, while the Captain advertises him as some kind of bottomless stomach monster to attract customers into that kind of horrific thing.

Finally, Moe comes rushing in, with a rusty, dull blade in hand, and goes right for Jimbo.  Jimbo quickly breaks down crying, killing Moe's blood lust and Laura's regular lust.  As Moe quickly leaves to limit Barney's beer-stealing opportunities, Laura sees Jimbo for what he really is and tells him they're through.  She tells Bart he was right about Jimbo, and notes that if Bart were older, she'd go out with him anytime.  They prank call Moe, who falls for it yet again.

Quick Review
This was a great episode.  The main story had a lot going for it as we see a new side to Bart we've barely seen in the past, and the whole thing with Moe was great to.  Like usual, though, its Homer's sidestory which steals the show in terms of pure hilarity.  The notion of him eating non stop for hours, then suing the restaurant for not letting him eat all he could eat afterwards is just so ridiculous, but then for him to actually get some justice for it... somehow it ends up being very hilarious.

Final Score: 9.4