Secrets of a Successful Marriage (S05, E22-103)

I guess you could say Homer has gone over the hedge.  ...sorry.

Plot Summary
Homer is offended after being called slow twice in a poker game, and even more so when his family doesn't really do much to defend him.  That night, Marge suggests that Homer sign up for an adult education course to make himself feel better and/or smarter.  At such a school, Homer sees that classes are being taught by common Springfieldians, including his sisters-in-law, and even Lenny.  Homer realizes that "if he can teach a class, he can teach a class - I mean I can teach a class!"  Not offering any notable skills though, Homer only gets a teaching position when he reveals he's married, opening up a position about teaching secrets to a successful marriage.

Excited about the opportunity, Homer finds himself unable to either provide any instruction or even listen to his students' stories of failed relationships.  As the class becomes disinterested to the point of leaving, Homer laments out loud over how he told Marge this wouldn't work in bed.  Suddenly, the class becomes interested again, and realizing what's happening, Homer begins to tell stories about his and Marge's personal life, including that Marge dyes her hair blue because it had gone gray a long time ago.  Some of these students, including Apu and Moe, imply to Marge the next day that they know, and that, coincedentally, they're part of Homer's class as well.  An angry Marge that night makes Homer promise not to tell any more secrets.  Homer tries to teach his class legit again, but when the class tries to leave in disinterest again, Homer desperately tries to tell another personal story involving how Marge likes getting her elbow nibbled on, using "Mr. X" and "Mrs. Y" instead of him and Marge, which he doesn't do a good job in doing.  As if that wasn't enough, he invites the entire class to dinner.  When that whole experience goes sour, that crazy Moe asks Homer if he's going to nibble Marge's elbow.  Enraged, Marge kicks everyone out, including Homer whom she can no longer trust.

Nearly immediately, Homer's clothes become tattered as he starts living in Bart's treehouse.  Marge still hasn't forgiven Homer but begins to miss him little by little.  Going so delusional he turns a plant into Marge's head, Lisa intervenes by telling Homer he needs to give Marge the one thing nobody else can offer.  Later that night, Moe returns to the house with the open intention of courting Marge.  After shooting him down, Marge invites Moe in for a drink anyway, and when Homer comes in, a panicky Moe quickly flees the scene.  Homer has on him the thing he believes nobody else could give Marge: some flowers, but that plan fails when he notices Moe did the same.  However, he then realizes the one thing nobody else can give her: his complete dependence.  Noting how incapable he is in taking care of himself, he needs Marge more than ever because he loves her, and that he can't afford to betray her trust ever again given what's occurred the past, well, day.  Marge eventually gives in and the two are back together again.

Quick Review
This episode has a few great moments, like Homer's rant and most anything with Moe turned out pretty well too.  However, like most marriage episodes, the quantity of jokes just isn't there and that dinner scene was rough watching as well.  The good and the bad kinda cancel each other out, and the episode's somewhat limited humor has to carry what has to be a fizzled way to end Season 5.

Final Score: 7.5

Lady Bouvier's Lover (S05, E21-102)

What vile, disgusting monsters Homer imagined this time.

Plot Summary
You notice how Homer has a dad and no mention of his mom (at least not yet), while Marge still has a mom while her dad has been dead for awhile?  Haven't you ever thought that there should be an episode where, because of those facts, Homer's dad and Marge's mom hook up?  No?  Well too bad, 'cause here it is!

It's Maggie's first birthday, and in lieu of baby friends because, well, Maggie has no baby friends and only one baby enemy, Marge invites her family and Homer his dad over for the festivities.  After Maggie goes to bed following the party, Abe Simpson and Jacqueline Bouvier (that's Marge's mother as though you didn't know), have a good time discussing the old times with one another.  Marge takes notice of this and, knowing how lonely the two of them are usually, begins to hatch a plot to get them together.  She invites the two of them for lunch, and despite Grampa's copyright infringement he and Mrs. Bouvier have another good time, eventually leading to Grampa falling in love with the elder Bouvier.

In a subplot, Bart steals Homer's credit card to buy a $350 Itchy & Scratchy animation cell.  In a moment of bad luck, the cell Bart receives feature's only Scratchy's arm, which definitely wasn't worth the investment.  Getting rid of it in exchange for a Mary Worth phone, Bart tries to figure out how to recover the lost money to keep Homer off his ass later.

Grampa invites Mrs. Bouvier to a Senior Ball, but as the two come close to sharing a kiss, Mr. Burns sneaks in and essentially steals Abe's girl.  Depressed, he leaves the ball while Burns and Bouvier have a grand time.  Homer and Marge learn about it with shock, with Marge adamantly opposed to the pairing, as is Smithers coincidentally.  Grampa remains depressed, finding himself unable to get over the breakup.

Meanwhile, to finish up the subplot, as Burns comes over to pick up Mrs. Bouvier, Bart forces Burns to pay him the $350 as Barts ruins his shirt with condiment guns.  He gives the money back to Homer later, and with Homer more than content Bart can go back to making stupid decisions without worry.

Soon, though, Burns proposes to Mrs. Bouvier, and she accepts knowing how Burns will be able to take care of her despite Burns' rather evil demeanor.  At the wedding, Burns displays that demeanor in an attempt to hasten the ceremony.  Before she can say "I do", Abe interrupts the ceremony in one last desperate plea to claim the woman.  Though the elder Bouvier refuses Abe's offer, she also declines to marry Burns, which is good enough for Grampa.  The two run off to a senior bus, and all turns out okay, I suppose.

Quick Review
Apparently, this episode doesn't have that many fans.  Apparently, people are turned off by an episode that features that ever-so-lethargic Jacqueline Bouvier in a leading role, and that as a result the episode doesn't turn out so well.  That is simply unfortunate, for I found this episode to be one of the best episodes of the season.  Ignoring the above, the episode is still packed full of jokes and lines throughout, moreso than other episodes this season.  Grampa is always a great character, and he doesn't disappoint here, Burns' role in the episode was fine, and Bart's sidestory was well done too.  I guess you could say its an underrated episode, and I suppose it does fly under the radar for most, but once you actually listen to all the jokes, the dialogue that occurs you'll realize too just how good this episode truly is.

Final Score: 10

The Boy Who Knew Too Much (S05, E20-101)

"He is like some sort of... non... giving up... school guy!"

Plot Summary
Just one episode ago, Bart and Principal Skinner had become friends, but when Skinner reclaimed his principal job they both knew they'd have to become enemies again.  This episode let the audience know for sure that was the case.

On a particularly nice day, Bart really doesn't want to go to school.  Finally, he decides he's had enough and fakes a note stating he's going to the dentist.  Mrs. Krabappel and Skinner confirm its fake, and Skinner goes on the hunt for Bart.  In short time, Skinner picks up Bart's trail, which Bart picks up on, but Bart is unable to shake him as Skinner's determination is unmatched.  Just before Skinner is able to find him, Bart jumps into a car driven by Freddy Quimby - the mayor's nephew - and escapes Skinner.  Bart is taken to the Quimby mansion where Freddy is celebrating his 18th birthday.  There, Freddy feels like mocking a waiter for pronouncing "chowder" differently than he does.  The two take it into the kitchen, where Bart is, and as Bart is able to hide, he witnesses what appears to be the waiter getting beat up.  Freddy is blamed, and a trial is soon to start, but Bart knows Freddy is innocent..

Bart is fearful to testify what really happened, as revealing he skipped school would give Skinner the proof he needs to really punish Bart.  To make matters worse, Skinner (and Homer) are on the jury for the Quimby trial.  However, it seems like the trial is going Freddy's way, with bribed testimonials and high priced lawyers that have Freddy looking like gold (the waiter having hired Lionel Hutz doesn't help him, either).  However, Freddy lets his anger get the better of him at the stand, and the jury quickly decides he must be guilty.  However, Homer realizes that if the jury is "deadlocked", they would be "sequestered" at a free hotel for the night, full of free things (including Free Willy), and as such votes that Quimby is not guilty.

The extra night Homer buys gives Bart time to think about whether he should confess, believing that Freddy will be found guilty tomorrow.  Marge's stories about her crazy Uncle and an episode of McGonigle (this is how you spell it apparently, look it up) don't fill him with much confidence either.  Eventually, though Bart does decide to testify (despite the fact that the trial had closed the day before), and reveals that Quimby only took a bottle of wine and then left, it was the waiter whose clumsiness caused him to slip and crash into a variety of things including rat traps and wine glasses.  Although the waiter protests (then clumsily falls out the window into a truck of rat traps), Bart has to also reveal that he skipped school.  Freddy Quimby is found not guilty, Skinner is somewhat lenient on Bart for his role in the trial and only gives him three, no, four months of detention, and Homer is happy he was able to steal so much crap from the hotel room he stayed in.  Good times.

Quick Review
This was one of Season 5's better episodes.  The bit with Homer and the jury, Lionel Hutz's moment where he shines, the whole McGonigle bit, this episode has a lot going for it, and how Homer's jury subplot is what allows Bart to make the right decision in the main plot.  It was wonderfully written and very funny as well.

Final Score: 9.8

Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song (S05, E19-100)

"I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel.
Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life
through advanced cloning techniques.  I call it 'Billy and the Cloneasaurus'."

Plot Summary
Desperate to find something for show and tell, Bart decides to bring along Santa's Little Helper.  While the dog is a hit at the presentation, Martin pressures Bart to put the dog in the closet so he can show off his geode.  While in the closet, the dog is able to make his way into the air vent, causing chaos.  Skinner orders Groundskeeper Willie to grease up and go into the vents to capture the dog.  Willie does so, but winds up in the vent above the gymnasium, too high up to leave.  The fire department is brought in to help them out, while Superintendent Chalmers catches wind of the incident and fires Skinner.

While Bart mistakes a spider bite for guilt, Chalmers hires the head of the PTA, Ned Flanders, as the new principal.  Ned, who remembers his parents being rule-less beatniks, is unwilling to enforce discipline.  He installs an "honor system", and soon the school quickly descends to chaos as teachers refuse to leave the lounge.  Meanwhile, Bart sees Skinner in the Kwik-E-Mart in civilian clothes, and then later in the laundromat looking rather pathetic in both instances.  Bart feels sorry for him and goes to visit Skinner at his house.  The two spend more time with one another, but Skinner deeply misses the school still.  Only one other thing has given Skinner's life meaning, and its what Skinner decides to go back to: the army.

Missing Skinner as a friend, and even more so an enemy, Bart decides to get Skinner back into the school.  He finds Skinner and convinces him to come back, after Skinner realizes that the army hasn't really changed at all.  Bart's big plan is to have Chalmers fire Ned after seeing the state of the school.  However, Chalmers actually doesn't care, noting that all public schools are going to devolve to this level sooner than later.  At that moment, Ned gives a message on the PA that includes the phrase "thank the Lord".  Realizing that its a prayer in a public school, Chalmers becomes outraged and fires Flanders, hiring Skinner back if only because "he knows the students' names".  Skinner thanks Bart for what he's done, and the two happily become enemies again.

Quick Review
Most shows celebrate 100 episodes in some big way.  The Simpsons celebrate 100 episodes with a passing mention of milestones in the chalkboard gag and then presenting a silly story featuring Bart's principal.  The 100th episode of the series is by no means the best of the 100, but its still a funny episode that delivers plenty of humor and a plot that sets up those jokes well.  Skinner is a difficult character to mess up, but this episode does a fine job with his character and the relationship between him and Bart.

Final Score: 8.8

Burns' Heir (S05, E18-099)

A typical scene during production of a Season 24 episode.

Plot Summary
A near death experience leaves Mr. Burns pondering about the future of his fortunes.  With no son (not until Season 8 anyway), and plans to bury Smithers alive with him, Burns has nobody to give his fortune to upon his passing.  He decides to have contest to determine an heir, inviting all of Springfield's young boys to try out.  At the tryouts, only Nelson gains any favor with Burns, while Bart, reading from a card Homer of all people wrote, provides the worst entry yet, forcing Burns to kick everyone out, literally doing so with Bart using a mechanical boot to do the kicking.  Angry, Bart separates from the family afterward and begins throwing rocks at the mansion.  Impressed with Bart's mischievous behavior, Burns declares Bart to be his heir.

After finishing up the legal matters at the Simpsons place, Burns portrays himself as lonely and sad, prompting Marge to suggest that Bart spend an evening with Burns.  Burns is able to win Bart over by letting the boy do whatever he wants, an attitude he tries to bring home.  When Homer gets mad at Bart for giving the end piece of some meatloaf to the dog, Bart runs off to Burns, and upon trying to retrieve him Burns counters by locking the door (or sending out a robotic Richard Simmons that goes haywire, whichever one you prefer).

Attempts to legally regain Bart prove worthless when Lionel Hutz is unable to disprove that Burns is Bart's biological father in court.  Homer and Marge hire a guy to kidnap and "deprogram" Bart, but instead brainwashes Hans Moleman.  Bart, meanwhile, begins to regret his choice to stay with Burns, until Burns shows him video of the Simpsons having completely gotten over Bart (which is actually just actors portraying Lisa, Marge and Homer somewhat poorly i.e. "B'oh!" and later "D - oh!").  Bart begins to accept that Burns has become his new father.

Later, at the plant, Burns decides it would be a fun time if he and Bart fire some employees.  After Burns sends Lenny into a seemingly bottomless pit, he has Bart try to do the same for Homer.  However, Bart finds that he can't fire Homer, and "fires" Burns instead, tricking him to fall into that same pit (with Smithers advising Burns to land on Lenny's carcass).  Back home, Homer tells Bart about the actors, as they spent time with the actual family for their one part, and also introduces his new brother Hans Moleman.

Quick Review
Burns' Heir is one of Season 5's better episode.  There are lot of classic moments, like the Mr. Kurns bit, or the confrontation at the mansion and the actors portraying the Simpsons.  It all makes for a very funny episode.

Final Score: 9.4

Bart Gets an Elephant (S05, E17-098)

You can tell its just playing because it hasn't bitten down yet.

Plot Summary
With the house an absolute mess, Marge forces the family to clean it up, much to everyone's dismay.  Bart tries to pass the time by listening to the radio, where he overhears a contest where people are called and have to reply with a certain phrase.  Eventually, the station calls the house and Bart is able to pick up and give the reply.  As the winner, Bart is supposed to win either $10,000 or a "gag prize", an elephant.  Caring not for currency, Bart opts for the elephant, making a big fuss when the radio guys can not provide him one.  Facing the loss of their jobs, they finally do find and give Bart an elephant.

The elephant, whom Bart calls "Stampy" tends to put people in his mouth and is an overall nuisance to peanut giveaways, trees and silence enthusiasts throughout town.  More importantly, keeping Stampy is a massive drain on the Simpsons' finances.  Bart eventually gives Homer the idea to have people pay $1 to see the elephant and $2 to ride it, but the profits are not nearly enough to compensate.  Homer decides that he has to sell the elephant.  A man from a nature preserve offers Stampy a chance to be with other elephants in a free-roam environment, but as he can not offer any money, Homer declines the offer much to Lisa's disdain.  Instead, Homer agrees to sell Stampy to a guy who probably deals in ivory.  Fearing the worst, Bart decides to run away with Stampy, but Stampy runs loose, leaving Bart to chase after him.

With Bart and Stampy missing, the family goes to look for them.  Stampy causes havoc throughout town as the day progresses, but by night it settles at a tar pit where Bart finds him as does the family.  Homer still plans to sell him to the ivory dealer, but as he finds himself sinking into a tar pit, Stampy is able to rescue him.  His life saved, Homer finally relents and Stampy goes to live at the nature preserve where we find out that after the life Stampy has lived, its become a big jerk.

Quick Review
Another rather silly premise this season, the episode really works out very well.  The cleaning plot to set up the episode works very well, and the antics of the elephant are funny enough to sustain the rest of the episode.

Final Score: 9.0

Homer Loves Flanders (S05, E16-097)

Guy can't play basketball no more without neighbors walkin' through bushes.

Plot Summary
The big football game is nearing between the Shelbyville Sharks and the Springfield Atoms.  Homer attempts to buy tickets, being second in line to do so, but the first guy in line, probably a scalper, buys all of them, leaving Homer out of luck.  A radio station then offers two tickets to the game to the 13th caller.  Homer rushes to work to be that caller, but by the time he reaches a phone Ned Flanders of all people is the lucky recipient of the tickets.  As Homer prays for a way to go the game, Ned offers to take Homer, which Homer ultimately accepts.  Homer has a good time at the game, moreso because Ned is paying for all the concessions, and even moreso when Springfield wins the game at the last second.  To top it off, Ned knows Springfield's quarterback as Ned's bible group helped the player find spiritual peace.  With Ned's urging, the quarterback gives Homer the game ball.  Touched by this gesture, Homer becomes friends with Ned.

Then, of course, Homer over-welcomes his stay, popping up at the Flanders' house whenever possible it seems.  One night, Homer insists on coming with Ned to a homeless shelter, with Moe's being closed.  With Ned's plodding pace of serving food, an impatient Homer takes over and delivers grub faster than ever before, earning him town-wide praise for his efforts.  Later, the Simpson family attempts to confront Homer over how much time he spends with Ned, but instead Homer insists the two families have a picnic at a lake, at which point Bart and Lisa ponder whether the status quo will be restored by the following week.

Homer is really the only one interested in the picnic, but the picnic happens anyway.  All sorts of bad things happen for Ned, the biggest of which occurs at the end when Homer crashes Ned's boat into Ned's car.  That night, Ned has a nightmare where he realizes that he actually - *gasp* - hates Homer Simpson!  Attempts to avoid Homer thereafter include lying to Homer (which his kids find indefensible), and then speeding away before Homer can catch them (which has Ned being pulled over and accused of "being heffed up on goofballs", in front of a church bus no less!).

Ned is reluctant in going to church because of the probably attitudes towards him now, but he goes in away, with Homer, being praised for his charity work again, having saved a seat for Ned.  During a prayer, Homer's nose makes a shrill sound while breathing, which is a snapping point for Ned.  He lashes out at Homer, but the town turns on Ned for his recent supposed misdeeds.  Homer quickly stands up to defend Ned, noting that if everyone was Ned Flanders, there would be no need for heaven as they'd already be there.  The town forgives Ned, and Ned is touched by Homer's gesture.  The two solidify their friendship, baffling Bart and Lisa as their status quo might be done for.  Sure enough though, next week Homer has the family go to his late uncle's house to stay the night, also its haunted, brushing Flanders away in the process.  The kids are relieved that things are back to normal.

Quick Review
This was another fun episode, nothing that really sticks out as an all time classic moment or anything, but there's a lot of laughter to be had with the idea of Homer being friends with the neighbor he displeases so.  The dynamic works out well, especially when its Ned that becomes sick of Homer, and the kids pointing out the status quo every now and then was a nice touch.

Final Score: 8.8

Deep Space Homer (S05, E15-096)

Typical media reaction, more at 11.

Plot Summary
Homer is eager for the next "employee of the week" award at the plant because A) union laws state that every employee is required to win the award, and B) Homer is the only person left that hasn't won the award.  However, Homer is angered when the award is given to an inanimate carbon rod, noting the lack of respect he gets when compared to said rod.  He tries to turn to TV to forget his worries, but upon seeing NASA coverage neither he nor Bart can deal with it.

Indeed, the decreased lack of interest is hurting NASA hard.  Worried about losing funding, the higher ups agree that Americans are no longer interested in the clean-cut men that make up most astronauts, turning their interests instead on the "blue-collar" slob as seen on Home Improvement and Married With Children.  Noting that such a person should be their next astronaut.  Homer somehow gets a hold of NASA's number and starts to tell them off (also to note his displeasure over the lack of Tang), and its decided that Homer will be their man.  Going to Moe's to find him, Homer quickly blames Barney for the call, but upon learning that they wanted to make him an astronaut, complete with respect, Homer tries to tell them he was the one who called.  NASA takes both men instead.

As Homer and Barney begin training for the one astronaut spot, Barney is shocked to learn that alcohol is not allowed.  However, by the next morning Barney has quickly recovered his balance and cognitive ability, and in short time he becomes as fit and able as most astronauts.  However, upon celebration of his victory, Barney takes a sip of champagne.  Despite the fact that it was non-alcoholic champagne, Barney's alcoholic mannerisms take hold anyway, and steals a jetpack to fly away.  Homer becomes NASA's astronaut by default.

Though Homer is initially thrilled, fear and anxiety quickly set in.  He bails on the mission and calls Marge for support.  Marge convinces him to not pass this opportunity up, and as Homer reflects on a past missed opportunity (missing Mr. T at the mall), he regains his confidence and undergoes the mission.  He's accompanied by real astronaut Buzz Aldrin and fictional astronaut Race Banyon.  The mission starts off well enough, but Homer somehow snuggled aboard a bag of rippled potato chips.  With no gravity, the chips fly everywhere, so Homer floats around trying to gobble up the stray chips.  This, however, leads Homer to crash into an ant farm in the back, setting the ants free and causing media panic.

With James Taylor in mission control, a story of his gives the idea to just flush out the ants and chips into space.  The astronauts blast open the door, but Homer prematurely leaves his seat, requiring a rescue and breaking the handle on the door.  Homer accidentally lodges a carbon rod into the door and the side, keeping it closed, allowing the shuttle to survive re-entry, landing in a media convention.  Though Buzz tries to give Homer credit for their survival, the media focuses on the carbon rod, and once again the carbon rod gets the nod over Homer, but at least Homer has gained the respect of his family.

Quick Review
Deep Space Homer is a fun episode, though with a bit of an odd premise it still turns out very well.  The ever present plight of NASA's relevance holds true even today, and its used to comedic effect very well here.  James Taylor's appearance didn't do anything for me, but I did enjoy Buzz Aldrin's guest work.  The bit with the ants is a classic, both Homer breaking them out and Kent Brockman overreacting to them:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've just lost the picture, but, uh, what we've seen speaks for itself.  The Corvair Spacecraft has been taken over, "conquered" if you will, by a master race of giant space ants.  It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men, or merely enslave them.  One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them, the ants will soon be here.  And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.  I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."

That was the best part of what ends up being a good, if not great, episode.

Final Score: 8.4

Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy (S05, E14-095)

"Hello. Smithers. You're. Quite. Good. At. Turning. Me. On."

Plot Summary
The episode starts off with the old folks overwhelming Matlock.  Comedy gold already.  Afterwards, though, Grampa begins to worry about his old age, and decides to give his family their inheritance gifts now.  Among them are a batch of silver quarters that the family decides to spend at a toy store.  Money well spent, I'd say.  There, Lisa buys the newest Barbie Malibu Stacy doll, one that actually talks!  The family returns home, having become sick of Grampa's inane anecdotes.  No longer willing to cope with his feebleness, Abe decides to start acting young again, though initial efforts to do so go awry.

Meanwhile, Lisa is disappointed, then angered, when she learns that the talking Malibu Stacy doll can only spout sexist lines that clearly settle within defined gender roles.  With none of it uplifting or inspiration, Lisa decides to take a stand against the company, but finds their attitudes about the same as the doll.  Lisa then decides to talk to Malibu Stacy herself: the original creator of the doll who has since become a shut-in: Stacy Lovell.  With the help of owner of the world's largest Malibu Stacy collection, Wayland Smithers, Lisa is able to track Stacy down.  Lisa earns Stacy's attention by revealing to the recluse the nonsense that doll is spouting out.  Although too drunk to do anything about it at first, the next day she agrees with Lisa's proposal to develop an all-new doll, one that sends positive words to young girls.

Meanwhile, Abe's attempts to go young land him a job at a Krusty Burger.  Abe is terrible at the job, being unable to keep up with the fast-paced lifestyle of a fast food worker.  One day, Abe is fielding complaints from other elders when he realizes that his place should be with them, that his purpose in getting old is to point out the failures of the world and get on others about it.  The elderly crowd celebrates Abe's revelation by lifting him up, which just ends in disaster.

Stacy and Lisa quickly develop a new doll, naming it Lisa Lionheart.  It goes on sale and gets a boost by a lengthy news report by Kent Brockman (his daughter having convinced him to "because she was right about the Berlin Wall").  Hype and anticipation for the doll rises exponentially, until the worst case scenario happens: a new Malibu Stacy doll is on sale, which is the same as the talking doll just with a new hat.  That doll is the one that sells like hotcakes, and Lisa's doll is left mostly untouched.  However, seeing one girl buy and subsequently use the doll uplifts Lisa's spirits, glad that at least one girl will benefit from her efforts.

Quick Review
Those of you whose experiences with the show mostly consist of the newer episodes, you may see this, an episode where Lisa takes up a cause, and look upon it with instant disdain.  Indeed, Lisa's character has developed the past couple of seasons into not just a brainy social outcast, but also a know-it-all type who tries to push her views onto others.  Such is the case here, but that doesn't make a bad episode on its own.  In fact, this episode turns out quite well.

Grampa's sidestory, which was a big focus early on but died down as the episode shifted focus to Lisa, had its moments but had little going for it at the end.  The family's overall reaction and demeanor to Lisa's complaints and efforts was pretty funny, though, and the use of Smithers in his role this episode was excellent as well.

Final Score: 8.6

Homer and Apu (S05, E13-094)

"Hey, he isn't happy at all!  He lied to us through song!  I hate when people do that!"

Plot Summary
Episodes featuring the side characters have been few and far between thus far, but this is the first of what will be quite a few episodes that center on the shopkeeper of the Kwik-E-Mart: Apu.  The episode starts on a typical day at the store, with Apu price gouging whenever possible.  He finds spoiled ham that expired years ago and, instead of getting rid of it, puts it in the bargain bin convincing himself nobody would buy it.  Of course, Homer quickly buys it and eats it, getting so sick he requires a visit to the hospital.  Confronting Apu about it later, Homer is calmed when Apu gives Homer not five, but ten pounds of what seems to be aged shrimp.  After a second trip to the hospital, Homer sees on TV that he can file a consumer complaint, and does so.  Kent Brockman contacts him in an attempt to expose Apu by using a gigantic camera hat.  Despite Homer's bumbling, the ploy ultimately works, and Apu is caught selling a filthy hot dog that fell on the floor.  Embarrassed, a superior of Apu has no choice but to fire Apu from his job.

Depressed, Apu ultimately decides to "settle the score" with Homer, though what that means is Apu is willing to work for Homer to make up for poisoning him multiple times.  Quickly, Apu becomes a big part of the family as his cooking, food placement, and shopping line skills help out tremendously.  To celebrate, Apu sings a song about how over he is from the Kwik-E-Mart, but a short time later, admits he still misses it deeply.  He decides to go to India to speak with the head of the Kwik-E-Mart, while Homer comes with.  The long, tiring trip ends poorly when the head of the Kwik-E-Mart only permits three questions, which Homer wastes to inquire as to whether he truly is the head of the Kwik-E-Mart (and he still isn't sure afterward).  Ultimately, Apu decides to face his demons, and go back to the Kwik-E-Mart for the first time since his firing.

In the meantime, the store manager hires actor James Woods to take over Apu's position.  Woods, who takes the job to get a better knowledge of the position for an upcoming movie role (which changes to something completely unrelated later on), is thrilled to see Apu when he returns, having watched him on security tapes.  At that moment, a robber walks up to the two of them and upon learning one of the men was James Woods, fires a shot.  Apu quickly jumps in front of Woods, taking the shot that leaves him a bit nostalgic.  Turns out, that bullet deflected off another bullet that had lodged in Apu from a previous robbery.  As thanks for saving his life, Woods is able to get Apu his job back, and with the happy ending the Simpson family hugs Apu, twice.

Quick Review
This ended up being a fine episode, not among the best Season 5 episodes, but it holds its own anyway.  Apu's "Who Needs the Kwik-E-Mart" song was done well (including the bits where Apu trips up Grampa twice), and James Woods had a strong part as well.  The quantity of jokes just wasn't here this time, I felt, and the whole trip to India bit was lacking in that department aside from one or two instances.  Still, a great episode.

Final Score: 8.3

Bart Gets Famous (S05, E12-093)

If its in a book it must be true!

Plot Summary
Initially eager to go on the school field trip, Bart's happy demeanor is ruined when its learned that the 4th grade class is going to the Box Factory, much to the delight of Skinner, Martin and nobody else.  The trip goes as expected: dull and boring.  Learning that the studio for Channel 6, where Krusty the Klown's show airs, is nearby Bart easily makes his escape.  Everyone is left searching for Bart, and when Homer comes in he mistakenly believes Bart has been turned into a box, as one box has Bart's red cap on it.

At the studio, Bart takes a danish that was meant for Krusty.  Realizing his error, Bart steals Kent Brockman's danish and gives it to Krusty.  Krusty thanks Bart for it and despite not remember what Bart has done in the past for Krusty, the clown allows Bart to becomes his assistant.  While Bart is enthused at first, all of his jobs are either tedious or disgusting.  After an incident where Bart accidentally gives the lactose-intolerant Sideshow Mel a sandwich with cheese, Bart is ready to quit his job.  However, Krusty needs Bart to fill in for Mel (who might be dead, Krusty doesn't know/care) for a pie sketch.  Bart walks in to give his line, but runs into a set piece, causing a chain reaction that brings the entire set down.  Bart quickly covers his ass by saying "I didn't do it" despite doing it on air, which causes the audience to laugh.  From that, Bart becomes an instant sensation.

Quickly, Bart and his catchphrase spread throughout town, becoming used in everyday situations for the sake of comedy.  This begins to tire Bart though, as becoming known for only one line is something that doesn't sit well with him, having to repeat it at school and on the Conan O'Brien show too.  Finally, Bart has enough and refuses to leave his room for another show.  Marge, though, convinces Bart that despite the repetitiveness of the job, he's still making people happy.  His confidence renewed, Bart goes on stage to repeat his line with gusto.  Except, well, nobody finds it funny anymore.  Indeed, the "I didn't do it" fad has reached its course, like every fad does, including that fad you're aware of that's big right now but will not be within the month.  As Bart looks over his merchandise from the past month, Homer knocking over the lamp prompts everyone to speak their catchphrase, including non-Simpsons, but the catchphrase-less Lisa is less than amused.

Quick Review
This was another excellent episode.  The dullness of the box factory was, oddly, the highlight of the episode, and though the episode's quality declined a bit near the end, the catchphrase montage at the end really gave the episode a strong finish.

Final Score: 9.5

Homer the Vigilante (S05, E11-092)

Wiggum: "No, no, dig up, stupid."

Plot Summary
The Simpsons are the latest victims in a spree of robberies orchestrated by a mysterious cat burglar.  Lisa is devastated most of all; her saxophone was taken in the robbery.  As Homer's replacement, a blowin' jug, doesn't appease Lisa any, Homer vows to get Lisa's sax back.  At an informal meeting at Flanders' house, its agreed that the police aren't doing enough to catch the burglar, and Homer volunteers to lead a group to act and take care of business around town.  Quickly, a group consisting of him, Barney, Principal Skinner, Moe and the Sea Captain, among others, form around Homer, however when Grampa tries to join Homer refuses, citing that Grampa is too old to be of any use.

Despite their original intentions, Homer's group quickly devolves into a vigilante group, brandishing their own version of justice throughout town.  Appearing on TV to defend his group's methods, Homer gets a surprise on-air call from the cat burglar, who states his next crime: to steal the museum's cubic zirconia, the world's largest.  Homer vows to keep watch on the museum at all times.  At the museum, after Homer refuses the help of Grampa, Jasper and an associate of their named Molloy, Homer is distracted by a group of underage drinkers.  While Homer is getting drunk off his ass with them, the cat burglar sneaks into the museum and easily takes the zirconia.

Homer is given full blame for the incident and his house is mobbed by angry townsfolk and former vigilante members.  Grampa makes his way in, revealing that he knows the cat burglar's identity.  Having noticed Molloy wearing sneakers (for sneaking), walking rather vertically at the museum, and also housing the world's largest cubic zirconia in his nursing home room, Grampa is able to conclude that Molloy is the cat burglar.  Armed with that knowledge, Homer and the town quickly advance on the home, and Molloy is quickly caught.  A charming man, Molloy displays regret for the inconvenience, and gladly returns everyone's stolen possessions, including Lisa's saxophone.  Though the town is now willing to let him go, Chief Wiggum finally shows up to arrest Molloy, disregarding the town's new fondness towards Molloy.

As Homer taunts Molloy in jail, Molloy lets on about a large sum on treasure he had hidden under a large "T".  Homer and Wiggum quickly run out to start looking for it, with Homer letting the news break out around town quite easily.  After getting more specific directions from Molloy, the town is able to find the T outside town, under a T-shaped palm tree.  After some time, they find a briefcase with but a single note: that there is no money, and Molloy has since taken this opportunity to escape imprisonment.  However, nobody can make out the signature, and the mayor urges people to continue digging, which goes into the night.

Quick Review
This rather zany affair ends up being a superb episode.  The antics of Homer's group, Grampa's role and eventual "in your face" moment, and that wild goose chase at the end combine for a wonderful episode that's as fun and lighthearted as it is funny.  One of Season 5's best episodes.

Final Score: 10

$pringfield (S05, E10-091)

"I said hop in."

(Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)

Plot Summary
Springfield is in dismal shape, which is nothing new.  What is new is that the town is holding a meeting to do something about it.  Principal Skinner suggests the town bring in legalized gambling, an idea that gain traction (not so much the part about profits going to public schools).  Mr. Burns agrees to build a casino, and even Marge thinks a casino would be good for the economy.  Soon, Burns builds his casino (and becomes a delusional shut-in afterwards) while Homer is relocated from the nuclear plant to the casino to work as a blackjack dealer.

As the town enjoys the casino, Bart gets kicked out for being underage, and gets back at, well, one of the workers who taunts him, by creating a casino of his own in his treehouse, inviting all of his friends and at one point stealing Robert Goulet away from the real casino.  Marge visits Homer at his new job and afterwards she finds a quarter on the ground.  She plops it into a slot machine, and wins four more quarters!  Marge is content with this result at first, but soon finds herself unable to stop.

With Lisa needing a costume of Florida for a play about the 50 states, Marge is nowhere to be found, leaving Homer in charge.  Initial protests about Marge spending time at the casino is forgone when Marge hands Homer $60 worth of quarters she won the night before.  However, after an unfortunate bogeyman-related scare, Marge realizes she's been spending too much time at the casino and promises to get started on Lisa's costume.  Yet, she's back at the casino and Lisa is forced to ask for Homer's help in making it.  When it predictably turns out poorly, Lisa's sadness proves a final straw for Homer, who deems Marge to be under the clutches of "Gamblor", and goes to fetch her from its neon claws.

Hastily, Homer causes havoc in the casino while looking for Marge, and upon finding her eventually lets her know that she let Lisa down.  Realizing what has occurred, Marge admits she has a gambling problem, though Homer is not willing to pay any money to get professional help while at the same time is willing to rub her new imperfection in her face on their way out.

Quick Review
There were a few things about this episode I didn't like, particularly the Rain Man reference, but there were quite a few excellent bits this episode had for it, like the Gamblor line or Burns' descent into some kind of madness, or Ralph's "I'm Idaho" line at the play.  It averages out to what still is a great episode but a bit lackluster compared to other episodes this season.

Final Score: 8.3

The Last Temptation of Homer (S05, E09-090)

Damn.  Lenny and Carl are some fine angels.

Plot Summary
Having disposed of a plant worker for daring to suggest putting in real emergency exits, Mr. Burns' attempts to replace him with a foreigner named Zutroy are met with immediate opposition from the Department of Labor, who among other things suggest Burns finally hire a woman into the plant.

Homer, Lenny and Carl are soon introduced to the new female employee: Mindy Simmons.  Homer is immediately infatuated with her, and can't get her out of his mind.  Barney suggests that Homer's attraction is merely physical and that by talking with her, he'll learn they have nothing in common.  However, the next day Homer learns that Mindy likes donuts, drinking beer and watching TV, and sleeping during work: essentially a female, non-fat version of Homer.  Desperate to stop things before they get any hotter, Homer tries to break off communication with Mindy but before he can the two are chosen to represent the plant at an Energy Convention in Capital City.

Meanwhile, Bart has trouble reading a word on the blackboard, and as such is sent to the doctor to get his eyes checked.  He's given thick glasses for a temporary bout of lazy eye, but the doctors notice and prescribe items to fix a dry scalp, fallen arches and a red throat.  The glasses, salve and gigantic shoes leave Bart looking like quite a nerd (and the spray to fix the throat made him sound like Jerry Lewis, but that didn't last too long).  For two weeks, Bart endures ridicule and the beatings from Nelson, Jimbo and the others.  Those two weeks pass, though, and Bart returns to school looking like his old self... only to get beat up by the bullies anyway.

At the Energy Convention, Homer and Mindy are crowned the King and Queen of energy apparently, and are awarded with a dinner at "the sexiest Chinese restaurant in town".  There, Homer reads a fortune cookie with tells him that he'll find happiness with a new love.  Homer decides to finally give in to fate, but gives in to tears after he and Mindy return to the hotel room.  Explaining his feelings to Mindy, she can only reply by saying Homer should only follow his heart.  Later, wearing the same red dress Mindy was wearing in some vain attempt to trick the viewer, Marge sits with Homer in the hotel room, as Homer remains faithful to his wife.

Quick Review
This was another excellent episode for the season and the best marriage-related episode thus far.  There was no real memorable moment, though the bits with Homer's guardian angel posing as Colonel Klink from Hogan's Heroes and, my personal favorite, the bit with Joeyjoejoe Jr. Shabadoo were great.

Final Score: 9.1

Boy-Scoutz 'n the Hood (S05, E08-089)

Remember: cartoons don't have to be 100% realistic.

Plot Summary
Kicked out of the arcade for having no money, Bart and Milhouse are fortunately when a $20 bill glides gently in front of them.  Instead of using the money sensibly, the boys use it at the Kwik-E-Mart, requesting Apu prepare a Super Squishee, containing only the syrup, much to everyone's astonishment.  The boys take a sip of the thick concoction, and immediately experience a sugar high unlike any other.  They go on a Broadway-themed spree, doing quite a few things along the way.  The next morning, Bart wakes up having remembered none of it, but is stunned to see himself in a Junior Camper uniform, having joined the group during his sugar high.

Although Bart is initially determine to take back his uniform at the end of the school day, he learns that the Campers are excused for a meeting, just in time to avoid a test.  Bart takes his chances and attends the meeting, led by Ned Flanders, but a combination of having to bathe old man Jasper and being given CPR after passing out from seeing naked old man Jasper, Bart's ready to give up.  Until he hears the campers get pocket knives.  Upon learning that he needs to pass a safety test to get one, Bart's ready to give up.  Until he sees the various uses of knives in everyday life, like using it to perform emergency appendectomies.  Homer finally picks up that Bart's a camper, and mocks him for it.  Bart does pass the test, but it turns out the pocket knife is made of rubber, then Bart's ready to give up again.  Until he learns how to trap animals.  Using that and similar knowledge, Bart builds a few traps to ensnare Homer, and becomes fully engaged with the campers.

One day, though, Flanders announces the campers will be having a father-son river rafting trip, with Ernest Borgnine as a celebrity dad for one of the kids.  Bart is less than thrilled with the prospects of bringing Homer along.  Still, Bart asks under the impression Homer will say "no".  Homer gets his signals mixed up with his brain, and unwittingly agrees to go.  On the trip, Homer is forced to share a raft with Flanders and his son Rod, and soon enough Homer loses the map - and his Krusty Burger location map is of no help -  leaving Flanders to take a wrong turn at a pass, heading into a current that spills into the ocean.  Just as well - Borgnine leads everyone else into the correct route, but its a creepy route with stalkers, bears, and an abandoned summer camp with a mysterious figure lurking the premises.

Homer's brashness and poor survival skills leave the four in dire straights faster than usual, though its not known how long they've become stranded.  With the end nearing, Homer decides to give Bart his present now: an actual pocket knife (that Homer stole from Borgnine), which Homer promptly drops, eventually popping a hole into the raft.  Just then, Homer and the rest smell hamburgers, thanks to an odd Krusty Burger location at an abandoned oil rig.  Homer's nose is able to navigate the group through some fog, and they are able to reach the location before the raft sinks and the oil rig location closes down because nobody would normally go to a Krusty Burger at an abandoned oil rig.  Homer saves the day, and Bart couldn't be prouder.

Quick Review
This ended up being a strong episode overall.  I'm not normally against musical numbers in episodes, especially if the lyrics are written well, but I wasn't of fan of the New York, New York themed song about Springfield that Bart and Milhouse sing while on their sugar high.  Otherwise, there were plenty of good jokes and laughs to be had, and it more than made up for the musical number.

Final Score: 8.6

Bart's Inner Child (S05, E07-088)

Inner Homer: "Food goes in here!"
Homer: "It sure does."

Plot Summary
This episode begins with great excitement as Homer finds an ad in the paper for a free trampoline!  Despite Marge's inclinations, hastily does Homer drive to Krusty's house to acquire the item, though Krusty implies some kind of treachery afoot which Homer does not pick up.  Soon enough, he and the kids are bouncing around on it, with Homer having bigger plans for the trampoline.  It begins with him charging others to jump on it as well, but the plan goes awry when everyone starts getting hurt while on the trampoline.  Homer has to ultimately get rid of the trampoline by setting up a trap for Snake the criminal to steal it.

While that ploy didn't work out, Homer still finds some dignity in that at least he was willing to try something fun, while Marge would've been content just keeping things are dry and boring as they apparently were previously.  Not happy with being called out on her frequent nagging by Homer and the kids, Marge heads over to her sisters' place, where they show her an infomercial featuring a self-help "guru" named Brad Goodman.  Marge gets Homer to watch a tape featuring Goodman with her, and the two come to the conclusion that, in other words, Marge's nagging only serves to shame Homer, and if Marge becomes more tolerant, they both will become better people as a result.  It seems to work for the both of them, and soon Goodman himself is going to visit Springfield himself in a presentation.  The whole family, and seemingly the whole town, goes to it, where Goodman advises that people "loosen up", to follow their inner-child.  When Bart, bored out of his mind, decides to interrupt, Goodman only encourages Bart, calling Bart's carefree attitude exactly what Springfield needs towards self-improvement.  Urged to "be like the boy", the town runs off confident in its new direction, all except Lisa who is appalled by these turn of events.

At first, Bart is prideful that everyone is following in his example, but now that everyone is being a class clown or getting into other kinds of mischief, he loses what made himself special, and becomes depressed over it.  With the town's new outlook on things, a "Do as you feel" festival is held, where people are encouraged to do what they feel like.  However, things turn sour when a bandstand and a Ferris wheel fall apart, because the people in charge of maintenance didn't feel like doing a competent job at doing so.  With tempers rising, people start letting others know what they feel like, and soon a brawl breaks out.  While initial blame is placed on Goodman for his shoddy help, the town quickly turns its anger on the boy whom Goodman told them to be more like: Bart.  Homer helps Bart escape via a slowly-moving float, and that night the family argues over self-improvement.

Quick Review
I wasn't a big fan of this episode.  The trampoline segment at the beginning was top notch, but once everyone started acting like Bart (except Lisa who acted like, well, Lisa), the episode really went south.  There's still a good amount of jokes throughout the episode, but the latter half of this episode really didn't sit well with me.  Its been awhile since I've come across a 'real miss', and given the score you'd think its silly to consider such an episode a "miss", but its the worst episode I've viewed since Season 3.

Final Score: 7.6

Marge on the Lam (S05, E06-087)

"Ah, ballet..."

Plot Summary
After Marge foolishly gives money to public television, she earns two tickets to a ballet.  Homer, mistaking ballet for a circus act where a bear drives around in a mini car, is initially excited, then less so when Lisa clues him in on what ballet is.  The night of the ballet, though, a coin-less Homer notices a crystal soda machine and, with no money, decides to put his arm in the machine to grab a can, trapping it.  After getting his free arm trapped in a candy machine, Homer somehow finds a way to call Marge to tell her he can't make it home in time.  Distraught, Marge gets an opportunity to invite her neighbor Ruth Powers (previously in New Kid on the Block) to the ballet.  The two have fun, and as Homer makes it home (turns out, his arms were only stuck because he wouldn't let go of the soda/candy), he becomes somewhat irked that Marge has found a friend to go out at night with.

The next night, Marge and Ruth go out again.  Jealous, Homer decides to have fun too, though he needs a babysitter for Lisa and Bart.  Lionel Hutz just happens to be outside scrummaging through garbage, and Homer pays him $8 to keep an eye on the kids for the night, which is an adventure of itself.  Marge and Ruth, meanwhile, have a great night doing this and that, and to cap off the night, go to the hilltop where a large Hollywood-esque "Springfield" sign stands.  After a little reminiscing, the two decide to head on back.  Just after they leave, Homer arrives, his previous attempts at having fun not working out, and Chief Wiggum stumbles upon him.  Wiggum decides to take Homer home.  His cop car ends up behind Ruth's car on the way back.  Wiggum notices that one tail light is smaller than the other, and turns on the siren.  Ruth then lets Marge know something important: after her ex-husband failed to pay child support, Ruth stole his car.  Not wanting to get caught, Ruth speeds off, turning off her lights in the dark to confuse and scare both Wiggum and Homer.

That morning, Ruth drops Marge off at a gas station slash diner combo, advising Marge not to get involved and to take a taxi home.  However, after seeing several instances of friends (or waffles) sticking together at the diner, Marge decides to stick with Ruth to the end.  Wiggum and Homer see the two head back the other way and call the entire Springfield police force to give chase.  The ladies get close to the state line, but a line of cop cars appear in the way.  With Ruth about to give up, Marge refuses to let Ruth do so, turning the car into the open.  Soon, though, they are heading towards the "Great Chasm", not aware of it either.  Homer, still in Wiggum's car, tries to talk to Marge, and warns the two of the chasm.  They stop in time, but Wiggum's car drives right into the chasm... and into a giant dump of garbage within the chasm that saves their lives.

In the end, Ruth keeps the car and forces her ex to pay the child support, Lionel Hutz is paid the $8 for 32 hours of babysitting, Marge is forced to pay 5 cents for shooting antique cans plus $2000 in emotional damages, and Homer is sent to an Army chemical facility for testing, which he gladly agrees to do.

Quick Review
Marge on the Lam has its best moments with the sidestories, whether its Homer getting his arms stuck in vending machines or Lionel Hutz spending more time burning away his identity than actually babysitting.  The main plot with Marge and Ruth has its moments, but not really enough to claim it among Season 5's best episodes.

Final Score: 8.7

Treehouse of Horror IV (S05, E05-086)

Homer, enjoying his ironic punishment.

Plot Summary
Its time for another yearly Halloween installment as Halloween 2012 is just a day away.  Like the previous episodes, the fourth installment has its stories connected, this time in Night Gallery style, with Bart providing the narration before each episode begins.

The Devil and Homer Simpson
With no donuts left at work, a desperate Homer declares that he'd sell his soul for a donut.  Conveniently, the Devil appears -  having the appearance of Ned Flanders - to offer such a donut for Homer.  They agree on a contract where the Devil acquires Homer's soul once Homer finishes the entire donut, a fact Homer realizes just before eating the last bite.  Believing he has outsmarted the Devil, Homer puts the last morsel away for safe keeping.

Unfortunately, a tired, hungry Homer late at night mistakenly eats that last morsel, sealing his fate.  Before the Devil can finish squeezing Homer's big ass into Hell, Lisa demands a fair trial, due process and all of that.  Despite Hell being outside the jurisdiction of America, I'm fairly sure, the Devil agrees, but holds Homer in Hell for the day.

Soon, the trial begins, and not only does the Devil get to use his own jury of murderers, Richard Nixon and the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers, his case is pretty solid.  With the Simpson lawyer Lionel Hutz having bailed, Marge tries one last desperate gambit: an old wedding photo where Homer wrote on the back that he had pledged his soul to Marge.  The jury agrees that Homer's soul belongs to Marge, and the Simpsons win the case.  Angered and knowing full well that Homer has just conned a donut from the Devil, the Dark One decides to curse Homer by turning his head into a donut, much to the delight of Springfield's police force.
Individual Score: +1.5

Terror at 5 1/2 Feet
After having a nightmare where he dies in a bus crash, Bart begins the school day in a nervous sort of panic.  On a rainy day with Principal Skinner tagging along, Bart gets on the bus, only to see a gremlin of sorts tearing the bus apart from the side.  With the gremlin hiding before anyone else could see him, Bart's sanity falls into question.  Despite getting Otto to try and knock it away (Otto mistaking "gremlin" for a Gremlin car driving next to him), the gremlin persists and begins taking apart the wheel axle.  Skinner ties him up and has the German exchange student Üter sit next to him.  Bart is able to convince Üter to let him go, and in a final attempt to stop the gremlin, throws an emergency flare at it, knocking it off the bus and into Ned Flanders' car driving behind it.  Though the bus makes it to school, its condition was such that the final screw in the wheel was about to come off, which would've sent the bus into trouble.  Despite this, Skinner has Bart sent to a mental institution for life, and though Bart thinks he can relax now, the gremlin appears outside the ambulance with Flanders' still-talking head.  Good times.
Individual Score: +1.6

Bart Simpson's Dracula
Watching on TV, the Simpson family sees a report on odd, vampire-like killings, and then a report where Mr. Burns has purchased a blood bank and video of him rather enjoying some blood.  While Lisa is the only one willing to make a connection, Homer is invited by Burns to his mansion way out in Pennsylvania.  Lisa is fully convinced Burns is a vampire, and Burns continuously fumbles attempts to hide as much, but the rest of the family doesn't care.  Lisa forces Bart to come along and investigate.  Quickly, they find a cellar full of vampire coffins.  As Lisa reads an autobiography about Vampire Burns, the vampires in the cellar wake up.  The two try to escape up the stairs, but a trailing Bart sees a switch to convert the stairs into a super fun slide, and can't resist.  Bart falls back into the vampires' hands, and Burns himself converts Bart.  He returns to the family clearly different, but Homer doesn't care.

Later, Bart has since embraced his transformation and has converted several other kids around Springfield.  He attempts to get Lisa, but Homer is able to intervene in time.  Lisa suggests that to save Bart, they must kill the head vampire: Burns.  They return to Burns' mansion and find him sleeping in his coffin.  Homer is able to stab his heart (after mistakenly stabbing his crotch first), supposedly ending the vampire threat, losing his job in the process.  Lisa is relieved the next morning, but suddenly the entire family are vampires, and advance on Lisa, but they all stop to wish everyone a Happy Halloween, and hum a tune as the episode ends.
Individual Score: +1.5

Quick Review
In terms of violence and violence-related fear, the fourth installment has the other three beat by quite a lot.  In terms of comedy, its not quite on the level of the third ToH, but its still a very excellent collection of Halloween-themed stories and is still one of the best Treehouse of Horrors in the series.

Final Score: 9.8

Rosebud (S05, E04-085)

"Mmmm... 64 slices of American cheese..."

It was his sled.

Plot Summary
Mr. Burns has a dream one night - perhaps a nightmare - where he remembers his time as a young child, playing with his beloved teddy bear Bobo, when suddenly a "twisted, loveless billionaire" pulls up and offers "Happy" Burns a chance to live with him instead of his natural, seemingly poor parents.  The choice is obvious, and the young lad goes off with the billionaire, leaving behind his bear, his parents and his brother George Burns.

The memory of Bobo depresses Burns in the current day, leading up to his next birthday.  Homer is chosen to be a stand up comic at the mandatory party (as Burns noticed people laughing at his antics, though they were just laughing at Homer having coat hangers stuck in his back and ass).  With Burns already despondent over the bear, Homer's crude attempts at a roast only anger him further.  Homer gets conked on the head, and the party is violently ended.

As Marge asks Bart to get a bag of ice for Homer's head, we see the journey of Bobo the bear since Burns let him go.  Melting snow allows it to access a river, and it flows right into the hands of Charles Lindbergh just before his flight over the Atlantic in 1927.  Upon reaching Paris, he throws the bear in celebration, right into the hands of Adolf Hitler.  In 1945, in the days leading up to his death, Hitler blames the bear for what has happened, and tosses it aside.  Apparently its picked up by American forces, as in 1957 its ontop an American submarine... as it submerges near the north pole.  It freezes at that point, and in 1993 the present day its recovered by men mining for ice (not aware of other methods to acquire ice).  They aren't aware the bear is in its shipment, and it ends up in a bag of ice at the Kwik-E-Mart, which Bart purchases.  Finding the bear, which is now worn and damaged, he just gives it to Maggie, who quickly cherishes it.

Burns makes the search for his bear public, and Homer (eventually) realizes that Maggie has possession of it.  The family agrees to give the bear to Burns in exchange for some good money, but when Homer tries to take the bear from Maggie, she refuses, and starts crying once Homer succeeds in giving Burns the bear.  Not willing to see Maggie so sad, Homer cancels the deal, giving Maggie Bobo back and earning Burns' wrath.  After a pair of attempts to steal the bear fail miserably, Burns decides to just make Homer's life miserable.  Soon, he takes control of all of Springfield's TV and prevents any alcohol from entering town in hopes to not just break Homer, but the rest of the TV-and-beer-loving town as well.  Sure enough, an angry mob breaks into the Simpsons house to grab the bear for Burns but, much like Homer before them, are quickly disgusted with themselves when they realize they just stole from a baby, and give Maggie the bear back.

With that plan having failed, Burns has Smithers beg for the bear, but Homer reiterates that its Maggie's bear.  Frustrated, Burns goes to Maggie herself to get the bear, being unable to rip it from Maggie's grasp.  Defeated, Burns finally allows Maggie to keep it under the promise that she not lose it like he did, but in an act of kindness Maggie decides to let Burns have Bobo after all (with the family now receiving no financial reward, of course).  Happy, Burns promises to never lose Bobo again, until glimpses into the far future reveal that even as a head-in-a-jar cyborg he still loses the bear every century or so.

Quick Review
Rosebud is yet another excellent episode in a streak of many.  There were plenty of great moments in this episode, especially the bits when Burns and Smithers try to steal the bear (via a poorly readied zip line and then using suction cups in the ceiling only to be permanently stalled when Homer enters the kitchen to eat cheese all night), and that sitcom Burns and Smithers act out while Burns has control of TV.  It all pans out to be another superb entry to this season.

Final Score: 9.3

Homer Goes to College (S05, E03-084)

"I am so smart!  I am so smart!  S-M-R-T, I mean, S-M-A-R-T!"

Plot Summary
At long last, Homer has to answer for his vast incompetence at his nuclear plant job.  A worker inspection team comes to the plant to gauge worker competence.  To ensure high marks, Mr. Burns has Smithers slink away the less capable off somewhere.  Despite that, Homer still finds his way to the inspection truck where, despite the truck not having any nuclear material, still undergoes a meltdown.  Burns is told that Homer will have to take a college course on nuclear physics or face legal action.  Homer attempts to apply to various colleges, but none will have him.  Burns, who has "a chair" at Springfield University, is able to help Homer get into that college despite being vastly unqualified, and as such Homer is a college man.

Along the way, Homer prepares for the experience by watching college-themed programming, the type that portrays the stereotypes of jocks, nerds, and the "crusty old dean", and exudes that attitude as he begins college.  After an accident with a proton accelerator creates another meltdown, Homer is advised by this school's dean to get some physics tutoring.  While the three young men who are to tutor Homer are clearly nerds, Homer doesn't pick up on this until later, when he is shocked to learn as such.  Seeing them holed up in their studies or the early 90s Internet, Homer decides to show them the true meaning of college life: partying down!

Homer intends to take the three out on a road trip, but when Marge forces the kids to come along, that idea goes down in flames.  Homer goes back to the nerds' dorm with the kids, where Homer gets a hankerin' for some dean prankerin'.  Bart advises them to kidnap the mascot of the nearby Springfield A&M: Sir Oinks-alot, a pig.  They do so, but after Homer shares some malt liquor with the pig, it faints loudly near the three nerds (with Homer nowhere around), which the dean overhears.  With the pig having mighty allies, notably Richard Nixon, the dean has no other option but to expel the nerds.

With the nerds being duped by a fake wallet inspector, Homer decides to let the nerds stay at his house, where their habits become an instant nuisance for Marge and the kids.  With them quickly urging Homer to get them to leave, Homer decides that an even zanier scheme than the pig kidnapping is required to get them back in.  This time, Homer will attempt to run down the dean with his car while the nerds jump in to save him.  However, the nerds lose track of time discussing wind resistance, and Homer runs over the dean.  While at the hospital, Homer admits his blame in both this and the pig prank, and the dean forgives all involved, readmitting the nerds in the process.

Of course, there's still the matter of Homer actually passing his nuclear physics course.  Despite the nerds having Homer cram like one has never crammed before, Homer still ends up failing the final exam.  The nerds suggest that Homer could "fix" his grade using computers, which Homer happily agrees to.  Marge picks up on this immediately, though, and encourages Homer to retake the course and pass it legitimately.  Homer reluctantly agrees, but is happy that he'll have another chance to "party down" with the nerds.

Quick Review
Homer Goes to College is another superb episode full of classic bits.  The nerds are bit stereotypical, uh, 90s nerd stereotypical anyway, but they're only a complement to the humor.  Bits such as "Hello, dean, you're a stupid head!", "Curly, straight!  Curly, straight!", "The bee bit my bottom, now my bottom's big!" or the scene after Homer burns his GED in celebration as pictured above, really give this episode a lot of quality and makes it one of the best episodes of the season.

Final Score: 10