Chief of Hearts (S21, E18-459)

Out of context, this is pretty screwy picture, so out of context it remains.

Plot Summary
Homer unwittingly causes a panic at a bank, and is arrested.  In court, Homer is sentenced to community service, Homer's least favorite kind of service.  Chief Wiggum is about to have Homer and a few other detainees do so work at the park, but he's feeling somewhat lonely as his wife is always "at a book club".  Wiggum notices Homer holding something; its several different Parmesan sandwiches, and Homer lets the interested Wiggum have a bite.  As thanks, Wiggum lets Homer just sit with him as the others do their service.  The two get to know one another and by the end of the day, the two become good friends.  With this, Homer also gets the enjoy the perks of being the best friend of the Chief of Police, and Wiggum shows Homer his secret spot on the outskirts of town where the two spend time peacefully.  Forced to duty, Wiggum brings Homer to an armed robbery, though, and a gunman is able to take Homer hostage.  Wiggum jumps in to save Homer, but gets shot in the chest as the robber gets away.

Wiggum falls into a coma, but Homer stays with Wiggum at the hospital until he finally awakens to the sight of his best friend.  However, Homer had been away from his family for quite a bit to tend to Clancy, and the two start bickering over whether Homer can leave for his family or stay with his ailing friend.  Some time later, Homer makes it back to the bar, but has to lie to Wiggum to do so, a lie Clancy is able to figure out.  Wiggum confronts Homer at the bar and the two get into an argument until Clancy gives up and storms off in a tantrum.

A short time later, Lou and Eddie tell Homer they can't find Clancy anywhere, but Homer knows where Clancy is.  He goes, alone, to Clancy's secret spot carrying along a bucket of chicken as an apology.  Before Clancy can say or do anything, the two spy the mafia trying to set up another counterfeit scheme, but as Clancy confronts them, he's points a chicken leg at them instead of his gun and both he and Homer are captured.  They're put inside the trunk of Fat Tony's car.  Homer and Clancy forgive each other, and Homer cheers Clancy on to find a solution out of their predicament.  Clancy forces the mafia to check the trunk, then the two are able to subdue the mafia as backup arrives.  Homer and Clancy agree to remain friends, albeit not as close as before, and Clancy lets Homer ride the police helicopter around to mess with Flanders.

Oh, while this was all happening, Bart is taken to a birthday party of some kid he doesn't know, and becomes interested in a new toy/card combo battle game.  Bart takes his toys and cards to school to battle others, but both Martin and Principal Skinner see only Bart taking out unknown materials from his backpack, and assume the worst.  He and Superintendent Chalmers inform Marge of the worst: Bart is dealing drugs.  Marge can't believe it, but when she gets home she overhears Bart and Milhouse talking about a 'fine product' (the game) out of context, and she too assumes the worst.  She goes into Bart's room digging for anything that could be drugs, but eventually Bart tells her about the battle game, clearing up her confusion.  Marge actually takes a liking to the game, which means Bart promptly gets rid of the now uncool materials.

Quick Review
After a string of poor episodes, Chief of Hearts gets the season back on track with a combo of Homer and Chief Wiggum that perhaps took way too long to make an episode of.  The sidestory with Bart's game was pretty worthless in every aspect, but the main story was excellent, both Homer and Wiggum shined as a combo and bringing in the mafia for its brief appearance made things just a little better.

Final Score: 8.0

Apocalypse Cow (S19, E17-417)

You'd think 4H would've taught him not to get attached to livestock, but whatever.

Plot Summary
As Bart rides with Homer to Shelbyville for a errand, they come across Martin driving a large farm machine.  Martin reveals he's a member of the 4H club, an agricultural club that's one of the more dangerous clubs around.  Bart likes the sound of danger and decides to join.  He comes to like the club, and some time later he and the rest of the club are tasked with raising young calves for the summer.  Bart ends up with a scrawny little cow, but with the help of a young farm girl named Mary, Bart is able to nurture the cow, Lou, into a big, strong cow.  Lou even wins first prize in a 4H club cow competition.  However, Bart has become attached to Lou, and when he learns that he and the other 4H cows are going to be slaughtered now, Bart can't deal with it.

Lisa tries to help Bart out in hopes the experience will make him vegetarian like her.  He won't go there, but he still appreciate Lisa's help as the two go rescue Lou from being slaughtered.  Lisa's ultra-hippy friends help them break in, and Bart uses his 4H expertise to get Lou out.  On Lisa's suggestion, Bart takes Lou to Mary in hopes she can hide the cow until the heat dies down.  However, upon giving her the cow, her father, Cletus, is ecstatic, as it turns out giving a lady a cow is a formal means of marriage proposal for hillbillies like them.

Bart is forced to agree to marry to ensure Lou's safety until Lisa can get help.  Lisa goes to Marge for help, and just as the wedding begins the next day, Marge arrives to stop it.  Cletus unsympathetically notes that if Bart doesn't marry Mary, then the cow will have to go back, and sure enough that's what happens.  However, Marge was ready for this contingency, and although it appears Lou is on the truck back to the slaughterhouse, its actually Homer in a cow suit.  Marge takes Lou and the kids to the airport, where Apu has arranged a flight for it to India, where it will be praised and worshipped instead.  Marge and the kids get back to the slaughterhouse just in time to save Homer, whose experience there makes him swear off meat, albeit just a tiny bit.  Bart is happy that Lou is safe, aware that he did have a cow, man.

Quick Review
Can you believe that it was reported in an interview that Matt Groening calls this his favorite episode?  I know I find that hard to believe, because this episode was awful.  Well, it was a mostly boring episode for the most part, hampered just enough by the anti-meat message to bring it down that extra notch.

Final Score: 5.0

Stop or My Dog Will Shoot (S18, E20-398)

The design flaw here is that now, Robodog can not literally take a bite out of crime.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons go to a Harvest Festival, but end up getting stuck in a massive cornfield maze.  For some reason, the family splits up, and eventually Marge and the kids escape.  Homer, though, is unable to get out and he remains stuck inside for hours.  The police arrive to help, but their retrieval dog has gotten old and has given birth to puppies, so that's no help.  Instead, Bart calls over Santa's Little Helper, who had been resting in the car, to come and help.  After picking up Homer's scent, the dog is able to locate and bring out Homer.  The police are impressed with the dog's effort and invite him to be a police dog.

After some brief training, Santa's Little Helper becomes part of the force, teaming up with Lou in the K-9 unit.  As Bart begins to miss his dog, Santa's Little Helper quickly becomes overwhelmed with his new life on the force, and begins to display a more aggressive attitude to stay in the game.  The dog is able to catch and apprehend Snake after he tried to sell illegal steroids, but after incorrectly filing the paperwork, the court is forced to let Snake go.  Lou lets the dog go home for awhile to cool off, but it does little good; as Bart comes from behind to greet his dog, the dog reacts aggressively and bites Bart in the leg.

After some discussion, its decided that the dog will stay with Lou.  Homer and Marge decide to get Bart a new pet, and Bart eventually decides on a Python he calls "Strangles".  Bart takes Strangles to school for show and tell, but the python slithers away, forcing the evacuation of the school.  The police arrive with its K-9 unit, but as they go in the python slithers into the science lab, unwittingly creating a toxic gas.  The police are forced to flee the school, but its learned that Bart is still inside, looking for Strangles.  Santa's Little Helper storms in to rescue Bart.  Bart does succumb to the gas, but is rescued by Strangles and/or the dog, and Bart decides to let the dog finish saving him.  The dog is freed of its responsibilities as police dog, reuniting him with Bart, while Strangles becomes Willie's new pet, though its new role at the school is something I'm not quite sure of.

Quick Review
This ended being a pretty weak episode.  Stephen Hawking makes a quick cameo during the dog's search in the cornfield maze, and it was appreciated, but there was hardly much else to like here.  Once the dog became part of the force, it was hard to find anything worth laughing, though the bit with Snake (Jailbird) was alright.  Strangles had its moments too, but it all still made for a less-than episode.

Final Score: 6.4