Bull-E (S26, E21-573)

"Mono-d'oh" moment, this ain't.

Plot Summary
Bart is forced (somehow?) to attend a school dance.  The night of, Bart starts off bored out of his skull, but is convinced by a 5th grade girl to join in, and the two dance together so well, Bart wins a "Best Dancer" award.  Impressed, the girl tells Bart to wait for her outside.  Bart quickly rushes outside, but is immediately rushed and bullied by Jimbo and gang; his trophy is smashed and the girl, witnessing both Bart being bullied and him placing more priority to the trophy over himself, dumps him a second later.

Bart tells the family later on, and Marge finally has enough of the bully culture.  At the next town meeting, she swiftly convinces the town to enact anti-bullying measures, which initially work well as Jimbo and gang are arrested the next time they try bullying Bart.  However, for the most part, the new laws involves the police arresting anyone that they've been tipped as being bullies.  Homer uses this lazily, having people arrested for just annoying him in his daily life.  Soon, Rod and Todd Flanders realize that their father, after being bullied around by Homer earlier in the episode, is a victim of bullying as well and the two call the cops on Homer, who is arrested in short time.

Homer is sent to a bullying rehab center, where a former bully turned doctor takes several "bullies" and has them undergo psychological breakthroughs to determine why they're so upset.  Homer is no exception, he learns that he only hates Ned because Ned is basically 100% better than him.  Still, after the completion of the program, everyone in it gets hailed as a "hero" for no longer being bullies.  Homer, somehow, translates this to parades and first pitch throws, which start to annoy Ned.

Ned confronts Homer at an autograph function, and makes Homer realize that every time Homer puts Ned down, he seems like less of a person to his two sons.  Homer desperately tries to get Ned to forgive him, but Ned only reluctantly does so the following day, when the two make up and agree to have lunch together.

Quick Review
Over the previous summer, I analyzed scores for each episode matched with the people who wrote them, and determined that Tim Long is the worst of them.  Well, actually, Valentine L. Garza fared worse, but she had written just a couple of episodes at the time, and the episode she wrote this season puts her ahead of Long, probably.  The last episode Long wrote before this season was Season 25's Married to the Blob which I now claim is the worst episode in the series, it was that bad.

This episode is the first episode aired since that's written by Long, the only episode he wrote this season.  To be fair, the episode started off with some promise, there were a few decent jokes, Wiggum's escapades were good, and with the absurdity of everyone being arrested for "bullying" I was hoping for a decent conclusion / lesson with the episode.  Then I remembered, this episode was written by Tim Long.

Sure enough, the second half of this episode was an absolute disaster, starting from when Homer entered that bullying rehab center.  That entire sequence with "Dr. Raufbold" (voiced by the always-excellent Albert Brooks) was a complete drag to sit through.  From there, the episode tries to bring about an end to the Homer/Ned spat, but does so in such a hamfisted and boring way.  It almost felt like an after-school special at that point, except most after school specials have better writing than this.

The first half of the episode is this scrap heap's saving grace, its only getting this high of a score because of it.  Otherwise, the latter half of the episode is an exercise of tedium, a good example of how not to write anything.  Hey, at least there weren't that many pointless references (except the Magic School Bus one at the end to fill time!)

Final Score: 6.1

Ned 'n Edna's Blend (S23, E21-507)

More like "Ned 'n Edna's Bland" am I right?

Plot Summary
Auditions for a passion play are happening, but the director makes a stunning move by giving the boisterous Homer the lead role of Jesus Christ instead of Ned Flanders, whose held the role in previous plays.  Homer realizes the importance of his role, though, and actually gives a wonderful performance in the play.  Ned, who was relegated to a bit part, realizes his error, but at the end of the play Homer's weight is too much for the cross he was 'crucified' on to bear, and he falls over ontop of Ned.  An ambulance comes to take Ned to the hospital, and the responders won't let Mrs. Krabappel on - until Ned reveals she's his wife, stunning everyone there.

Homer and Marge visit Ned and Edna at the hospital, where Ned reveals that he kept the marriage a secret because of Springfield's reputation of making every tiny thing big news, which is just what is trying to happen now.  Still, Marge decides to host a reception party for the two, and they accept the offer.  Meanwhile, Edna finds raising Rod and Todd Flanders to be difficult as the two boys have very narrow-minded views on things.  Bart, taking pity on, uh, somehow, advises Edna to expose the boys to the real world, or they'll never survive it.  Later, Edna goes in Ned's place to the boys' parent-teacher conferences at their private Christian school.  Edna is stunned over how badly science is shunned over religious teachings and makes the decision to pull the boys out and take them to Springfield Elementary instead.  Its a move Ned doesn't like, but he relents and lets Edna go ahead with the move.  Then Ned has a nightmare where one of the boys graduate college - an East Coast college - and has been corrupted by left-ish philosophies, which horrify Ned.

At the reception, Ned's fears begin to realize when the boys have temporary tattoos, talk back to him and use odd language like "chillax".  Frustrated, Ned tells Edna he doesn't like what she's doing to his kids and therefore the marriage is no longer perfect, but Edna retorts that the boys trust her to raise them right, so he should as well.  Defeated, Ned sleeps over at the Simpsons place overnight and the next morning he sees Homer and Marge get into a little spat over some new problem of Bart's.  He realizes that even if they don't agree on such issues, that doesn't mean the marriage is on the rocks.  Quickly, Ned goes to the school to apologize to Edna, and they reconcile rather publicly.

Quick Review
This is the first episode focused on the relationship on Ned and Edna after the vote to keep the two together proved successful.  It was a pretty boring episode, actually, with nothing really clicking in terms of comedy.  I don't want to say it was a "throw-in-the-towel" effort, an episode written just so fans can see the, hm, results of their summer vote take flight, but the quality of the writing in this episode suggests as much.

Final Score: 5.3

Bart Has Two Mommies (S17, E14-370)

"I'm gay, Daddy, I'm gay!  Mrs. Simpson made me gay!"

Plot Summary
At a church fundraiser for a new steeple, Homer cheats as much as possible to win a rubber duck race, but Flanders wins it anyway.  He has no interest in the prize, some hipster computer, so he gives it to Marge.  As thanks, Marge decides to babysit Rod and Todd while Ned attends a left-handed business expo.  As Ned gets bullied around by Randy Johnson at the expo, Marge has a great time with the boys, and after Ned somehow returns he agrees that Marge can spend more time with them.

As a result, Homer is left to spend time with the Simpson kids.  Lisa suggest they go to a shelter for aging animal stars.  There, they come across Toot Toot, a saddened female chimpanzee.  All of Toot Toot's sons are currently in show business, and is feeling pretty lonely.  So much so, that she's able to snatch Bart and make him her own.  With Marge preoccupied with Rod and Todd, Homer is able to hide Bart's whereabouts for the time being, but he's unable to get the boy away from Toot Toot.

Thanks to Marge, Rod and Todd are trying new things, but Ned becomes deathly afraid that either boy could get hurt.  Marge insists she takes the two out to a padded playground, but when she has Rod ascend a rock climbing wall, a snooping Ned freaks out.  That fear seeps to Rod, who freaks out and loses control, losing a tooth by falling back into the wall.  Its the last straw for Ned, who refuses to let Marge near his boys.  Marge tries to defend her parenting, but then a news reports appears publicly showcasing Bart's dilemma.

As Ned goes through another round of child-proofing his home, Marge tries to get Bart back from Toot Toot.  However, Marge accidentally lets Toot Toot escape the shelter with Bart and she starts climbing the yet-to-be-completed church steeple.  Lisa has a solution: it turns out Krusty's monkey sidekick Teeny is one of Toot Toot's sons, and that upon reuniting with him Toot Toot will let Bart go.  However, with Toot Toot high up on the steeple, only someone experienced in rock climbing could reach the two.  Enter: Rod Flanders.  Ned freaks out again, but Marge intervenes by having Ned realize that his fear is being picked up by Rod and Rod needs encouragement if he's going to get through this (and life in general).  Ned finally relents and cheers Rod on, who is able to reach Toot Toot and free Bart.  Going back down, Bart is able to trick Rod into thinking 'gay' means 'getting over your fears', and so Rod announces to everyone that Marge helped Rod become gay.  Somewhere, Maude must be proud.

Quick Review
I enjoyed this episode.  Rod and Todd provided a comedic foil that they hadn't provided in a long time, and what I suppose was the main plot - Bart getting kidnapped by Toot Toot - had several humorous moments to go along with it.  It is certainly a shining star amongst the sea of mediocrity thus far in Season 17.

Final Score: 7.8

Children of a Lesser Clod (S12, E20-268)

Whoever filmed this did a good job keeping pace while not also drawing Homer's anger.

Plot Summary
The Springfield YMCA is having a free trial night.  Homer and some others play a game of basketball, but Homer ends up breaking his leg.  He undergoes surgery to fix it, and is forced to a wheelchair, unable to go to work, for at least two weeks.  Bored stiff at home, Homer starts to become delusional.  Ned Flanders comes in looking for a babysitter, and Homer obliges.  He and the boys have a good time, though, and when Ned comes to pick the boys up, Homer liked the experience so much he decides to start up a day care.

Word around town picks up about Homer's new day care, and soon the Simpson home is bustling with small children having a good time with their new pal, Homer who continues the work even after his leg fully heals.  Two small children, however, are less than happy: Bart and Lisa, who become jealous that Homer is spending so much time with other children and so little time with them.  They attempt to sneak a picture of themselves with Homer to Homer, but Homer takes the photo out of the frame and replaces it with his new day care permit.  Homer's work becomes so well known, that he is nominated for a "Good Guy" award, with a camera crew appearing to tape Homer's work with the kids.  Bart and Lisa are shoved off to the side to make hearts for Homer's day care kids, and the two have had enough, deciding to come up with a plan to ruin Homer.

The night of the awards occurs, and Homer wins an award for his day care work.  As a video plays regarding his day care, Bart and Lisa hijack the showing and begin showing clips of Homer in a lesser light.  Videos of Homer gambling away Maggie and chasing Bart with a mace are shown, and Homer doesn't take it well, going up to the stage and publicly choking Bart.  As parents throughout the crowd tell their kids to stay away from Homer, Homer snaps and rushes the kids out the building, driving away in a truck.  The police give chase, but Homer crashes and is ultimately arrested.  Three mistrials later, Homer apologizes the kids for having ignored them, and promises he'll only care about them, also Maggie.

Quick Review
I really enjoyed this episode.  The YMCA scenes that opened the episode were fine, especially concerning Rainier Wolfcastle's desire to hunt for man.  The middle portion had its moments as well, and I enjoyed seeing Bart and Lisa work together again even if for a petty cause.  The last part of the episode was great, though Arnie Pie in the Sky was probably the best part of it.  In all, it makes for a very strong episode.

Final Score: 8.9

Hurricane Neddy (S08, E08-161)

"Come on in!  It's your master bedroom!"

Plot Summary
A hurricane is coming towards Springfield.  Apparently, Springfield is at a spot where that can happen.  After the mad rush for emergency supplies occur, Homer has everyone go into the cellar to hide (aka the "Grampa" drill).  After some time, the hurricanes finally passes though.  Miraculously, the Simpson home is left mostly unscathed, as is the case with nearly every other home in town with one notable exception: Ned Flanders, whose home was completely demolished, with only the family and the family tombstones surviving the devastation.

The house wasn't insured, as Ned considers insurance 'a form of gambling', so that's a major loss.  As the Flanders family heads to a rescue shelter at the church,  they learn to their dismay that robbers and looters and focused their attention on Ned's Leftorium shop, creating another major loss.  Ned can't even flip a page in the Holy Bible without cutting his finger.  Ned wants to scream out, but finds himself unable to.

The next day, Marge visits the Flanders with big news: the townsfolk has pitched in and worked together to rebuild Ned's home.  At first the family is impressed and grateful, however as they tour the home it becomes apparently, especially upstairs, that the house (built by Springfield townspeople, mind you) is poorly constructed and barely livable.  After the tour is done and everybody is outside the house, it collapses upon itself.  Its the last straw for Ned, who goes on a tirade against any and everybody he comes in contact with.  He then leaves angrily, driving away on his own to a mental institution to have himself committed.

A nurse catches wind of this and contacts one Dr. Foster, who is familiar with Ned.  When the two meet again, some backstory is shown: Ned's parents, previously revealed as beatniks, refuses to punish a young Ned, who as a result is a violent, unruly child.  Having tried nothing and running out of ideas, the two seek Dr. Foster's help, who comes up with an experimental plan: spanking Ned non-stop for eight months.  The method works too well: Ned is no longer capable of expressing anger, speaking gib-diddly-berish whenever he would otherwise be upset.  Realizing Ned needs to healthily release his anger, Dr. Foster brings in the one person Ned can't stand the most: Homer.

The doctor prepares some statements for Homer to say to Ned, including "past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent" and "I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other", but Ned isn't bothered by this.  Instead, Homer tries to get Ned to admit he just likes everything, but after a short ramble, Ned blurts out that he hates the post office... and also his 'lousy beatnik' parents.  Realizing that Ned is now capable of expressing anger without expressing too much anger, Dr. Foster proclaims Ned 'cured', and Ned meets a joyous town outside, though this new Ned won't be taking anybody's nonsense anytime soon.

Quick Review
This is one of Season 8's best episodes.  The hurricane bit that started the show, the showing of Ned's shoddy new home, Ned's meltdown on everybody including poor Lenny, and Homer's 'conversation' with him were all excellent moments in this episode, providing a hilarious stream of jokes from beginning to end.

Final Score: 10

Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily (S07, E03-131)

Ned: "Do you reject Satan, and all his empty promises?"
Homer: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Plot Summary
One morning, after the kids go to school, Homer takes Marge out to three hours at a bath house, though Marge is initially resistant as the house is a mess and she needs to clean up, but Homer has Grampa look over Maggie and the two are off.  At the same time, its learned that Bart has lice from a previous incident when a monkey Milhouse found in a wicker basket was all over Bart.  Principal Skinner concludes that if Bart has lice, then Lisa is likely to have it as well.  While that doesn't appear to be the case, Lisa has her own share of troubles as her shoes have been stolen beyond her retrieval and also takes a soccer ball to the back of her head.  Seeing both Simpson children in disarray, Skinner believes something is up and calls Child Welfare services to investigate the home.  There, the social workers find the house in a mess, with Grampa too out of it to do any actual defending.  The Simpson children come home, Bart wearing a sack of potatoes and Lisa having bags for shoes.  Homer and Marge return from their spa trip to find the social workers taking the children away for gross parental negligence, and takes the three children to a foster home: the Flanders' house right next door.

Homer and Marge try to get their kids back, but learn they have to pass a "family skills" course featuring rather basic parenting and hygiene techniques.  Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa find themselves unable to adapt to the oddities of the Flanders' home, including "nachos" made with cucumbers and cottage cheese, reading Newsweek instead of nothing, and something known as "Ice Milk".  However, Maggie starts taking a shine to her new home, something that starts to concern her older siblings.  One night, during a bible-themed game of Bombardment, Ned learns to his horror that the Simpson children were never baptised.  Panicked, Ned decides to take matters into his own hands, and baptise the Simpson children himself.

Homer and Marge have passed the course and go to retrieve their kids, but find that the Flanders' have "Gone Baptizin".  Homer is quickly able to deduce that they've gone to the Springfield River, and they arrive just in the nick of time.  Homer is forced to take a baptismal in place of Bart, gaining a fleeting moment of enlightenment, but the Simpson children are spared.  Maggie, though, is reluctant to leave the Flanders', having treated her so well, while the Simpsons seem rather dank in comparison.  However, Marge finally arrives, and Maggie is more than happy to be reunited with her mother.  The Simpson family is reunited, and they walk off enjoying Bart and Lisa's tales of the Flanders house.

Quick Review
Another great episode, and an interesting peek into the eerie nature of the Flanders home.  The plot behind the kids being fostered to their neighbors was a bit far-fetched but it made for some great moments, and the last few minutes where Homer chases down and saves his kids from eternal salvation were superb.

Final Score: 9.5