How the Test Was Won (S20, E11-431)

Skinner is likely thinking "this is still not worse than Vietnam... right?"

Plot Summary
Its the first day of school, and the kids have varying levels of excitement for it.  However, Principal Skinner informs the kids that they'll be taking federally-mandated aptitude tests in a couple of weeks, and the students' performance will affect funding.  As a result, everyone in school goes through a two week course of test preparation, including learning answer patterns.  The day of the test arrives, and both Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers are there to inform Bart that he got a perfect score on a practice test, and as a result gets to skip the real test and have a pizza party elsewhere.  Bart is thrilled, but soon finds out that it was a ruse; the bus with the other 'top scores' includes only Jimbo, Dolph, Kearney, Nelson and Ralph.  It turns out that Skinner and Chalmers are pushing aside the kids who would provide low test scores and the school can't afford any screw ups.  Chalmers agrees, and tricks Skinner onto the bus as well as it goes off.

In a side story, Homer is tasked by Marge to pay the insurance bill, which has come in handy for Homer's various accidents.  However, Homer forgets, and soon two weeks have passed (the same two weeks as earlier), and Homer finally realizes what's happened.  He sends the bill directly to the office, but reads a sign stating nobody will be back until 3 PM, and makes it a mission to avoid getting hurt.  Upon carefully returning home, Homer also realizes that nobody else can get hurt on his property or he'll be liable.  Worse yet, Marge is hosting a book club, whose patrons are walking a fine line of danger.  Homer is able to keep everyone there safe, but accidentally throws out a small knife that hits someone outside.  It's Mr. Burns, but luckily for Homer it was 3:01 when Burns was hit, so insurance will have it covered (probably).

Skinner, despite having been betrayed by Chalmers, still follows the mission of taking the boys to Capital City for the day.  However, Skinner takes the boys for a bathroom break, and upon returning is stunned to find the bus scrapped for parts.  The group now travels Capital City on foot, but Skinner loses track of Ralph, who somehow winds up on a trash barge.  Skinner tries to warn a nearby crane operator, but accidentally knocks him out instead, causing the container the guy was lifting to bust open and spill out pianos, right in the path of Ralph and the barge.  Skinner busts into action and jumps on top of the container, and runs around it, using the principle of conservation of angular motion to move the container away from the barge.  The boys are impressed that Skinner has actually applied knowledge to save Ralph, and the group rides the barge back to Springfield.

Throughout all of this, Chalmers has handled the test day rather poorly, giving everyone test anxiety (except Milhouse apparently).  Worse yet, Lisa has completely fallen apart, finding herself unable to answer a single question, and is ready to lament the failure that will be the rest of her life.  However, Skinner busts in just in time with the boys, and puts a halt to the test, realizing that real knowledge is acquired not in school, but on the streets.  Lisa is saved, I guess, and to celebrate the occasion, Skinner abolishes his ban on dancing.

Quick Review
This episode starts off slow and ends on a worthless note with the dancing.  The portions inbetween were alright, particularly Homer when he isn't insured, but it isn't enough to save the episode.

Final Score: 6.6

Dancin' Homer (S02, E05-018)

The guy in the suit looked so... tired, I guess you could say.  Tired of life.

Plot Summary
The episode begins with Homer telling his bar mates the story of how he became a minor league sensation: at a plant-sponsored trip to a Springfield Isotopes game, Homer - despondent that the Isotopes were one out away from losing and the crowd just doesn't care - starts dancing to rile them up.  The Isotopes come back to win the game, and Homer is given a job as the team's mascot.  The Isotopes go on a run with Dancin' Homer around, and he gains a lot of popularity in doing so, but they do lose eventually.  Afterward, Homer is informed that he's been "called up" to the major league team in Capital City, which can happen apparently.  With Marge's urging, Homer decides to take his act to the big city.

Giving a rather familiar-looking farewell speech at his last Isotopes game, Homer leaves for Capital City.  There, he meets up with that team's mascot, the aforementioned Goofball, and is slightly overwhelmed by the whole experience.  Eventually, Homer gets his chance to dance, but the Capital City crowd is completely unimpressed by the performance, only cheering when Homer is ushered away.  While Homer is despondent, even embarrassed over everything, he finds that everyone at the bar is enthralled by the tale, asking that he tell it again.  Happy that people are paying attention to him again, Homer gladly retells the story.

Quick Review
Dancin' Homer, the episode, portrays just how different small town folk and big city snobs can be.  How big city snobs could be into baseball in the first place whilst not also enjoying the between-inning entertaining is beyond me, but whatever.  The episode establishes a lot of things in Simpsons continuity: Capital City, the minor league Springfield Isotopes, the Philly Phanatic parody known as the Capital City Goofball, and one important thing that will establish a lot a later episodes both good and bad: Homer likes being the center of attention.

This episode had its moments, like Bleeding Gums Murphy's 26-minute version of the Star Spangled Banner at the start of the Isotopes game, or the callback to Lou Gehrig's famous speech.  Problem was that just not enough of it was really that funny.  Despite that, it is another solid episode.

Final Score: 7.5