There Will Be Buds (S28, E06-602)

Digital animation doesn't really do too well with scale and perspective, does it?

Plot Summary
Youth football in Springfield is cancelled amidst fears of concussions.  A town hall is set up to discuss alternatives.  Kirk van Houten has one, but is to meek to get anyone to pay attention, except for Marge who convinces Homer to help Kirk be heard.  Homer gets everyone's attention toward Kirk, which Kirk takes as a genuine sign of friendship.  He then tells everyone about his alternate sport: lacrosse, which everyone loves.  Kirk agrees to start up a youth lacrosse team on the condition that Homer, his new friend, becomes an assistant coach.  Not willing to disappoint the town or the kids, Homer reluctantly accepts.

As Kirk relives his glory days of lacrosse - shattered literally when he broke his hand high-fiving a knight mascot - Homer is having a worse time.  His role being only to slice oranges, having to wake up early and travel to other towns for tournaments pales in comparison to hanging out with Kirk, Homer finds out.  Kirk's "rice sandwich", an apparent carb booster, is otherwise unappealing.  Kirk also likes to vape and go to strip clubs when Luann isn't around.  Homer gets increasingly annoyed by this but keeps it to himself.  Following a road trip where Springfield won their way to a championship game, Homer walks off on his own and sings about how much he can't stand Kirk, while Kirk simultaneously walks off on his own and sings about how much he likes Homer.  The two meet up at the end of their respective songs, where Kirk learns Homer doesn't actually like him.

Its the day of the championship, but Kirk is nowhere to be seen.  Luann informs everyone that Kirk has indeed gone missing but also took out a large sum of money - all in singles.  Homer realizes that Kirk has gone to the strip club in turmoil and Marge has Homer go and get him, Homer being responsible for Kirk's current state.  In the strip club, Homer finds Kirk spending money on strippers solely to have them listen to him ramble.  Homer again admits to Kirk that he doesn't like him, but thanks to his work with the lacrosse team, Homer has come to respect him.  Remembering that respect is a thing too, Homer and Kirk evade the multitude of fees the strip club has piled on Kirk and with the help of the single mom strippers who also have kids, the two return to the game on time to help Springfield win the title.  Homer and Kirk high five each other afterward, only to break their hands, now Homer has to share a hospital room with the guy he respects but doesn't like.

Quick Review
This ended up being an okay episode.  Some of the gags were bland or unfunny and the episode's sport-focused plotline felt a little forced but the episode didn't try to force a reference-fest or do anything else stupid, so the episode ends up getting a respectable score.

Final Score: 7.1

The War of Art (S25, E15-545)

I could make a rock or stone pun here, but I figure I could be boulder (or not).

Plot Summary
Lisa, for some reason, really wants a pet guinea pig to call her own.  Eventually, Homer and Marge relent and allow Lisa to get one.  Predictably, Lisa loses track of it and it gets into the wall, eventually busting through the wall, and the boat painting that hangs over the couch.  Marge is devastated over the loss, but Homer decides to take her to someplace where they can get a replacement work of art for cheap: a yard sale.  Specifically, the Van Houten's yard sale, where they find a piece of art Kirk had acquired during the time he was separated from Luann, which they buy for $20.  Later, after taking off the chrome frame from the painting, Lisa finds out the painting was made by a semi-famous artist, and after appraising it they learn its worth at least $80,000.

Marge is more than happy to split that money with the previous owners, the Van Houtens, but Homer is against the idea, under the "finders keepers" mentality.  Their arguments as to whether to tell the Van Houtens about it is overheard by Milhouse who had come over, and their attempts to buy Milhouse's silence fails when he cracks and tells his parents anyway.  Kirk and Luann confront Homer and Marge over it, and Homer in particular is defiant, unwilling to share the painting or its profits.  The Van Houtens take their complaints to the media, whose news story creates a divide in town between those who want the painting to go back to the Van Houtens and those who want the Simpsons to keep what they earn.  Finally, the painting goes up for auction with Homer's intention to keep every cent, however a complication arises: a former girlfriend of Kirk's during his separation interrupts the proceedings to claim ownership of the painting, as she says Kirk stole it and thus has never been owned by him or the Simpsons.

Unaware that Kirk had been with anyone during the separation, Luann gets so upset at Kirk that they, well, separate.  With Marge officially tired of the ordeal, and with Homer for his part in what's happened, Homer decides to go to the place where Kirk claims he bought the painting to prove as such: Isla Verde.  He and Lisa find the restaurant that sold the painting to Kirk, and they confirm it was Kirk that made the purchase.  However, before Homer can celebrate for too long, an old man nearby makes the claim that he, not the semi-famous artist, made the painting in question.  He takes Homer and Lisa back to his house, which contains a view shown in the painting, and reveals he's a professional forger, and that the painting Homer technically owns is, in fact, a worthless forgery.  Lisa is of course appalled at all this, but the old man doesn't care as he knows his forgeries still bring people happiness from looking at his works of art.  With his potential money gone, Homer instead asks the forger to make a few more as a favor.  Later, Kirk makes up with Luann by presenting her a painting of the Van Houten family, and Homer gives Marge a painting as well: a replica of the boat painting that hanged above the couch for so long and can now do so again.

Quick Review
Well, I liked the episode for the most part.  Homer was mostly in top form for humor, though the episode does take the typical late dive as it went into more exposition.  That keeps the episode from being rated higher than it is, but I did get some good laughs out of it, especially early.

Final Score: 7.2

Little Orphan Millie (S19, E06-406)

In this frame, Bart continues to never understand how anything works.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons go on a picnic with the Van Houtens, where its revealed that Kirk and Luann have agreed to remarry, much to Milhouse's delight.  Before the wedding, Homer makes a mistake by implying he doesn't know Marge's eye color, so Marge refuses to let him see her eyes until he can either remember or figure it out.  After the wedding, Kirk and Luann go on a honeymoon cruise for a week, while Milhouse stays at the Simpson house.  Milhouse has so much fun with Bart, he almost wishes his parents never come back.  In short time, he learns that his parents - who were shown to have gone overboard accidentally - are lost at sea.

Milhouse, of course, is deeply saddened by this, but realizes he can't keep crying about it, and finally decides to get over the loss.  One day at school, the kids see the new Milhouse: a deep, poetic loner that no longer cares about his own well being.  He quickly becomes the most popular kid in school, which really bothers Bart.  Realizing that Milhouse will stop being cool if he's happy again, Bart finds one of Milhouse's relatives to take care of him: his uncle Norbert, who actually turns out to be pretty cool himself because he's a Danish Van Houten, not a slimy Dutch Van Houten like Kirk.  Despite that, Norbert, an adventurer who calls himself Zack instead, is more than willing to adopt Milhouse, and Milhouse openly accepts Norbert's aid.  The others still love Milhouse, though, and now Bart is worried that Milhouse is going to leave soon, distressing himself over that.

Homer is eventually able to recall a song he wrote which details the colors of Marge's various details, but still can't remember the part of the song about her eye color.  Regardless, Marge forgives Homer and lets him see - through the power of HD! - her eye color: hazel.  Meanwhile, Milhouse announces he's moving to live with his uncle, and as they ready to depart via a hot air balloon, Bart can't deal with it and hitches a ride as well.  The three decide to travel the world.  The balloon gets near a tropical island where, as it turns out, Kirk and Luann had washed ashore upon, and just as they were going to escape via a makeshift hang-glider, they crash into the balloon.  Milhouse is happy his parents are alive, and as Norbert makes a call to his Danish relatives for rescue, he and the Dutch Kirk get into a heritage fight.

Quick Review
This ends up being a pretty decent episode as well, continuing a nice streak for the season.  The subplot with Marge's eyes was basically nothing, but it did get in a chuckle or two.  The main plot with Milhouse picked up near the end with the introduction of the Dutch-hating Norbert, which brought the episode to respectability.

Final Score: 7.2

Milhouse of Sand and Fog (S17, E03-359)

He did come back, most probably indeed.

Plot Summary
Maggie gets the chicken pox.  Homer, who hasn't had gotten chicken pox yet, gets the idea to hold a pox party (for profit, of course) to get other kids across town infected.  Milhouse is one such kid, who is dropped off by his dad, Kirk Van Houten.  Marge insists Kirk stick around and have one of her alcoholic slushes, and Milhouse's mom Luann comes by (she was to pick up Milhouse later).  Kirk learns that Luann isn't seeing anyone and, with the two a bit drunk, begin to finally reconcile their differences, much to Milhouse's initial joy.

Homer ends up getting the chicken pox, and so Marge goes through the effort to nurse him back to health (as chicken pox can be trouble for adults).  Meanwhile, Milhouse's joy is lessened when he sees his parents spending more time with one another than with him.  Milhouse starts to worry that now his parents won't shower him with love and presents like they used to, even when separated.  Bart, who also benefitted from Milhouse's parents, decides to spring into action and decides to get Milhouse's parents separated again so they can pay attention only to Milhouse.  After a few initial attempts fail, the two get an idea from TV to plant a bra in Kirk's room.  They do so, but when Luann notices it, she finds that the bra belongs to Marge, concluding that she's been sleeping with Kirk.  Luann confronts Homer about it, showing him the bra, and he's devastated.  Homer confronts Marge over it, and though she is adamant she hasn't done anything, Homer doesn't trust her, and the two separate for a time.  Bart's plan to separate Milhouse's parents ends up separating his own instead.

Lisa figures this out and forces Bart to confess his ill deed to Marge.  Even so, Marge is still upset that Homer didn't trust her, and continues to refuse Homer back in.  Bart and Milhouse try to concoct another crazy scheme to get Homer and Marge back together, despite Lisa's interference.  The two force Homer and Marge to meet up at a river bank, and Bart plans to send a dummy of him falling into the river.  He tasks Milhouse to push the dummy in, but Milhouse's sight fails him and he pushes Bart in instead.  Homer rushes in to save Bart, but doesn't do a good job at it and the two continue to head toward a waterfall.  Marge comes in to help, forcing Homer to trust she can save them, and save them she does.  Homer and Marge reconcile yet again, and though Milhouse jumps into the river over Bart supposedly dying, Bart doesn't particularly care.

Quick Review
So ends the nine year saga of the separation of Kirk and Luann Van Houten.  Sure, things don't look too good after the bra incident, but a later episode marries them again so its all good.  What this episode ends up being is yet another marriage episode, though this was wasn't too bad by any means.  Oddly, the episode starts off slowly but picks up near the end (during the main marriage plot line), and is able to salvage a decent score because of its last act.

Final Score: 7.5

Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore (S15, E12-325)

Living in the big city automatically makes one gangster.  Did I say that right?

Plot Summary
During a field trip to the Museum of TV, Bart notices that Milhouse has become rather edgy, and can't get an answer as to why other than Milhouse not caring what people think anymore.  After school, Bart learns the real reason why Milhouse is acting oddly: his mom has a new job in Capitol City, and Milhouse is moving with her there.  Though Milhouse's father vows to fight his ex's attempt to take away Milhouse, it leaves Bart without his best friend.

Meanwhile, Homer and his work pals go to Moe's, and Homer in particular gets pretty drunk.  He's shown out the door eventually, and sits on the ground remaining wasted.  He gains the pity of a rich woman, who gives him money, but Homer refuses to be given charity without dancing, and starts dancing his drunk ass off.  Homer doesn't return until late that night, much to the ire of Marge, but Homer returns with a bouquet of flowers, which softens Marge's heart, and Homer is bailed out for the night.

Bart goes to Capitol City to visit Milhouse, but he learns that Milhouse is trying pretty damn hard to fit in with the kids there, and Bart is used only for those purposes.  Unwilling to go through that again, Bart goes back home to mourn the loss of his friend.  Marge has seen enough of Bart's sorrow and suggests he help Lisa clean the car.  Somehow, in some way, Bart and Lisa bond over it (though all they did was goof off), and the two spend more time together.

Homer needs more money to buy Marge an anniversary present, then remembers how well begging did, so goes back out on the street to do it again, getting advice from a bum he knows to act like a crazy man for charity.  It works pretty well, and Homer ends up getting enough money to buy Marge diamond earrings.  However, Homer continues to go out and panhandle, hoping to get enough money for a second house.  The bum Homer knows gets tired of his act, and goes and shows Marge what Homer had been doing.  Marge yells at him, but unwilling to get rid of her earrings to prove moral superiority, Marge simply has Homer buy her an accompanying brooch, and everything's okay.

Bart and Lisa continue to bond, and though both realize they're now each other's best friend they don't seem to mind.  However, to Lisa's shock, Milhouse is back, his father having won Milhouse in court.  Sure enough, Bart spends all of his time with Milhouse again, and Lisa is left crushed.  Homer sees this and wakes Bart up over the issue, and that night Bart promises he'll continue to be a good brother to Lisa, which Lisa is happy with.

Quick Review
Homer's subplot about him panhandling was the better of the two storylines, but the main plot wasn't half bad either.  My favorite part of the episode was Willie's rant about how the Scots are enemies with everyone including other Scots, giving the episode a big boost on its own, but the episode altogether isn't all that special.

Final Score: 7.7

A Milhouse Divided (S08, E06-159)

"I'll be back!  Pro- probably."

Plot Summary
Tired of the drudgery of everyday life, Marge decides to host a dinner party, and invites the Flanders, Hibberts, Lovejoys and Van Houtens.  The dinner, however, quickly turns sour as the Van Houtens, Kirk and Luann, have no qualms about insulting one another in front of company.  The tension only increases after dinner, when a game of pictionary goes wrong.  Luann finally has enough and announces she wants a divorce.

Later, Milhouse gets some sympathy from the school's bullies, all having dealt with divorce in one way or another.  While Luann enjoys her newfound single life, having already found an American Gladiator boyfriend, Kirk has been kicked out of the house and loses his job at the cracker factory for no longer being a family man.  After Homer turns down an invite from Marge to go with Luann to a play, Homer spends time with Kirk, hearing Kirk regret not caring for Luann throughout their marriage, lamenting that instead of enjoying his wife's dinner every night, he now has to thaw hot dogs in a sink.  Homer tells Kirk that will never happen to him, but later on he returns home very late, and sees that Marge left Homer... hot dogs thawing in the sink.

Depressed that he may be in Kirk's position as well, Homer recalls his wedding with Marge to be subpar at best.  He attempts to make it up the next day, but his well intentioned efforts do not help any.  Realizing that Marge needs a 'fresh start', Homer makes a tough decision and files for divorce.

That night, Homer calls for Marge in the dark.  When she arrives and turns on a light, she is met with surprise as a group of people are in the room for what Homer has planned to be a second wedding, using the divorce to ensure the wedding as legit.  The wedding goes off beautifully, and the two are more in love than ever.  The two Van Houtens are there, and as Kirk sees this, he attempts to win back Luann, but she promptly denies his efforts and her boyfriend shows him the door.

Quick Review
In truth, A Milhouse Divided was a bit short on laughs compared to other episodes thus far in the season, as some focus was given to the marriage and divorce plots that were developed.  Still, the quality of the jokes that were there were top notch and the divorce story does not detract from the comedy of the episode.

Final Score: 8.8