Fraudcast News (S15, E22-335)

Pictured: the cruelest display of slander in the history of media.

Plot Summary
Geezer Rock is a cliffside in Springfield that looks like an old man thanks to natural erosion.  A day is set to establish it as a national monument; the Simpsons attend as does Mr. Burns.  Lisa has a poem written for the occasion that she's been given the okay to read to the audience there, while Homer spots a small tree spouting from the rock that Homer reasons would hurt tourism if allowed to grow.  Homer sneaks away to remove the tree, but collapses the rock in the process.  As everyone is fleeing, the falling rocks land over Mr. Burns, and Smithers is unable to free him, believing him dead.

A short time later, Lisa is dejected that she wasn't able to read her poem, but Marge suggests Lisa publish the poem (now an elegy) herself.  Meanwhile, Smithers is shocked to see Mr. Burns alive, having escaped death by the narrowest of margins.  As Burns recovers from the ordeal, not having informed anyone else of his survival, he checks the news to see how his death is being handled.  To his surprise, the news is treated Burns' death with joy, joy that old man Burns had died.  Angered by the apparent lack of love by both the media and the people who consume it, Burns decides on a strategy to counter this: buy all the media in town, including TV, radio and newspaper.

Lisa publishes her first paper, The Red Dress Press, which includes her elegy, and its a smashing success, so she decides to continue the paper, bringing in various other kids to help out.  Lisa quickly notices Burns' scheme and decides to use the paper to combat Burns and remain the last independent media source in town.  Burns attempts to 'buy' Lisa with several ponies, but Lisa is able to resists, sparking a full out war between the two.  Several consecutive hit-and-run attempts by Burns' goons forces all of Lisa's helpers to leave the paper, but she and Bart preservere and continue on.  Burns then cuts the power from the Simpson house, preventing Lisa from using her paper-making tools.  However, Principal Skinner comes to Lisa's aid: providing her with a mimeograph which allows her to make copies of her paper without the need for electricity.  Further angered by Lisa's continued resistance, Burns grabs a hold of Homer and drugs him in order to grab dirt about Lisa, particularly that Milhouse likes her.  Burns puts these tidbits out into the news, and Lisa is devastated.  Unwilling to continue, Lisa prints her final paper in tears.  Homer takes this to heart, and decides to help out.

The next day, Lisa finds a paper on her front door: The Homer Times.  Not only has Homer started publishing his own paper, but so has nearly everybody else in town, having been inspired by either Lisa or Homer to do so.  Burns admits defeat, being unable to control all media in town, and takes his mind off the failure by going on a shopping spree.

Quick Review
Another okay episode, an rather mild way to end Season 15.  The focus on Mr. Burns helps the episode counteract the focus on Lisa, creating an episode that's not that bad, but not all that great.  The jokes that were present were fine, just not in huge quantity.

Final Score: 7.5

Bart-Mangled Banner (S15, E21-334)

AMERICA, AMERICA, SOMETHING SOMETHING FREEEEEE

Plot Summary
The kids get inoculations, though Bart makes a decent attempt at avoiding it.  After Bart finally gets his shot, his ears swell and he suffers temporary deafness, leaving him unable to hear for about a day.  Bart still insists in participating in a donkey basketball game at the school, though.  Before the game, everyone rises for the star spangled banner as a flag is shown.  Bart, who can't hear neither the prompts for the song nor the song itself, continues messing around with a donkey, but the donkey literally ends up eating Bart's shorts.  A still unwitting Bart then showcases his bare butt towards a flag he doesn't even know is there, and people in the gym quickly chide Bart and his supposed anti-American act.

With Bart's track record, nobody believe Bart was actually deaf during the incident, and the local newspaper does its job of blowing the story way out of proportion.  Soon, the entire town hates by and, by extension, the Simpson family.  They get a chance to redeem themselves on a talk show, but the host only intends to make the family seem worse.  Frustrated, Marge accidentally makes it worse, and soon the entire town of Springfield is hated by America.  Quickly, Mayor Quimby changes the town's name to "Liberty-ville", and the entire town is given a red, white and blue makeover.  At church, Lisa makes note that, hey there's still the First Amendment, and right after that a swat team swarms in and arrests the Simpsons under the "Government Knows Best Act".

After a plane ride, the family is sent to a prison meant to keep other 'liberals' from expressing their opinions, and to 're-educate' people by brainwashing into them American values.  With the help from an old man, the family is able to escape, where they learn that the prison was actually Alcatraz.  As the family tries to decide whether to swim to Oakland or San Francisco, a French boat arrives to help the family.  Now in France, the family likes their new life, but they still miss America, given most of their stuff is still there.  Thus, they decide to go back, agree to immigrate there because who could hate immigrants, right?

Quick Review
This is one of the worst episodes in the series.  First off, even as an episode from 2004, its dated.  Secondly, the episode goes from a 'everyone and the media blows things out of proportion' theme to a full blown political agenda.  Its not even really satire like in past political episodes, its basically saying "we writers are liberal and we hate how persecuted we are just by having different opinions on things and so we're expressing our frustrations through this episode".  Hey, I'm as politically-apathetic as they come, finding most political banter as mindless waste, so seeing this slop in a Simpsons episode is as offensive as killing a character because their VA wasn't available.  The fact that this episode actually has passable jokes, sometimes, saves it from being the worst episode of all time.

Final Score: 3.4

The Way We Weren't (S15, E20-333)

Coincedence: the flashback episode.

Plot Summary
Bart and Milhouse somehow coerce Sherri, Terri and their kissable cousin into a game of spin the bottle.  After coincidentally drinking the beer that is being tossed out for the bottle, a waking Homer goes to investigate, only to be accidentally kissed by Milhouse.  Brushing that aside, Homer gets mad at Bart for using his beer in this fashion.  Marge intervenes and has the two go to "Simpson family court", which is as lame as it sounds.  In his defense, Bart tries to claim that Homer was kissing girls when he was 10 as well.  Marge says that Homer's first kiss was her, when they were in high school, but Homer reveals that he did kiss another girl before then, much to Marge's shock.

Homer tells the story of when he was 10, his father took him to a camp for underprivileged boys.  However, because the camp had to pay lawsuit money for a previous incident, Homer and the other boys are forced to be servants at the girls' camp across the lake.  As the boys are doing dishes in a hidden room next to the cafeteria, a rather familiar-sounding girl accidentally leaves her retainer on her dinner tray.  Homer happily returns it back to the girl, and after some minor flirting, the two agree to meet each other later that night.  A short time later, a switchblade accident causes an injury to Homer's eye, and he's forced to wear an eye patch to his date.  Homer hitches a boat ride and does just that, meeting a brunette girl ontop a hill.  Back in the present, Marge reveals that she was, in fact, that girl, but Homer did something so unforgivable during those days that if she knew that boy was the same Homer, she never would've married him.

Marge tells her side of the story, where she went to a camp intended to help young girls bag men.  After her chance encounter with Homer (who, after overhearing how lame a name 'Homer' is, tells her his name is Elvis Jagger Abdul-Jabbar), the two agree to the date.  Marge tries to iron her hair, a style at the time, but ends up burning her hair, and she's forced to go as a brunette.  The two meet up at the hill as previously mentioned.  After a few moments of awkwardness, the two finally decide to kiss, which becomes the best moment of their respective lives.  Homer gives Marge a heart-shaped rock as a memento of the night.  The two agree to meet again the next night, however the next night only Marge shows up, with Homer nowhere to be found.

Homer looks like a pretty bad guy, but he tries to explain what happened.  Shortly after he and Marge shared the kiss and left one another, Homer accidentally falls off a cliff and into the lake.  The next morning he washes ashore at the fat camp and, given his portly state, is believed to be part of said camp.  He's unable to escape in time, and thus is unable to meet with Marge.  The next day, Homer finds an opportunity to escape and promptly takes it.  However, Marge is devastated by what's happened and decides to leave camp.  She throws away the heart-shaped rock, and it splits in two.  Homer arrives just after Marge leaves, and after a horrifying experience with Patty, sees one of the halves of the rock and realizes its too late.

Back in the present, Homer hopes the explanation is enough to help Marge understand, but she's still mad at him over what ended up being years of trauma towards boys.  Finally, Homer reveals that he kept the heart-rock half he found at the girl's camp because he couldn't stop thinking about that girl until he met Marge.  Marge then reveals that she kept the other half as a reminder of how big a jerk Homer was, but the two decide to make up and make out, Homer role-playing as the eye patched Elvis, and Marge as the brunette anonymous girl.

Quick Review
This was an alright episode, it has its moments and there's hardly anything bad with it (even with the retconning, not that I care all that much about continuity), but as is common with these newer episodes, the quantity and quality of jokes prevents it from achieving anything truly great.

Final Score: 7.5

Simple Simpson (S15, E19-332)

The last couple of episodes have heavily referenced years-old movies.  This isn't a good trend.

Plot Summary
Homer attempts to find a bacon company's "Golden Ticket" to win access to a bacon factory.  However, he instead finds a Silver Ticket, which wins Homer a pig judging position in an upcoming fair.  At the fair, as Homer tends to his judging responsibilities, Lisa decides to enter a place-setting competition.  Lisa sets up an extravagant piece, but the judge for that completely tears apart Lisa's entry both verbally, and eventually physically as well.  Homer sees this from afar and wants to get vengeance for Lisa, but remembers that if the police catch him in one more assault, he's done for.  Quickly, Homer grabs material for a makeshift costume, and anonymously slams a pie into that judge's face.  He quickly departs the scene, only to quickly return as Homer, who proclaims that "Pieman" might be around for awhile.

Lisa becomes fond of the guy, while Homer decides to create a regular costume for Pieman to help out Bart, who feels the comic book guy ripped him off.  Homer, as Pieman, quickly pies comic book guy, ruining his chance encounter with Nichelle Nichols.  Pieman continues to pie jerks across town, gaining public attention.  In what may or may not be a setup, Mayor Quimby converts a Children's Hospital into a Cosmetic Surgery Clinic.  Pieman appears, but falls right into the trap, and is shot in the arm while escaping.  He saves Marge from a fleeing mob, and the two share a kiss Spider-Man 1 style.  Homer quickly stumbles home to remove the bullet, but comes across Lisa who already knows the somewhat obvious secret.  Lisa pleads with Homer to stop being Pieman, and Homer ultimately agrees.

The next day, though, Homer gets his ass ridden by Mr. Burns, who is being rather cruel to all the employees this day.  Homer breaks his vow to Lisa and throws a pie right in Burns' face.  Homer attempts to escape, but tires out and falls asleep - in Mr. Burns' office.  Homer is thrown into Burns' dungeon, who learns Pieman's identity.  Burns then blackmails Homer into delivering 'hits' for him, starting with Homer himself.  This reaches a climax when Burns orders Pieman to throw a pie at the Dalai Lama, who is visiting Springfield.  A large crowd attends the Dalai Lama's appearance (perhaps to see if Pieman shows up), and reluctantly, Pieman does.  Lisa tries to convince Homer not to do it, and Homer listens, deciding to just reveal his identity so Burns can no longer control him.  However, nobody actually believes fat ol' Homer could be the now legendary Pieman, and the case is considered settled.  Marge reveals that she, too, knew all along Homer was Pieman, because it was that obvious, but Pieman still vows to protect people alongside his new sidekick, Cupcake Boy (Bart).

Quick Review
After the last couple of episodes, this episode brings along a nice return to normalcy, given that scores between 7-8 is the new normal now.  The few heavy references to the first Spider-Man movie weren't all that great, but the jokes were pretty good, and as usual bringing Mr. Burns into the fray does the episode more good than harm.

Final Score: 7.7

Catch 'Em If You Can (S15, E18-331)

Even understanding the reference wouldn't help this bit be funny.

Plot Summary
Marge is getting ready to have everyone go to Dayton, Ohio, to visit their depressed Uncle Tyrone.  Neither Bart nor Lisa want to go, though, so Marge agrees they don't if they spend some family time that night.  After the kids ruin that, Homer and Marge listlessly go to the airport.  While boarding the plane to Dayton, they notice the line to Miami is much more fun, full of newlyweds who haven't felt the burden of kids yet.  The two decide to ditch Dayton, and Tyrone, and go to Miami to finally have a good time with one another.

Meanwhile, the kids and Grampa are watching the news, which gets a breaking report that a tornado is tearing through Dayton, annihilating the hotel Homer and Marge were supposed to be staying in.  Just then, Lisa gets a call from Marge, whose pretending that she's in "boring ol' Dayton".  Lisa catches the ruse, and she along with Bart quickly determine that call came from a Miami hotel.  They convince Grampa to take them to Miami (because there's a lot of hot, older chicks for Grampa to score with), and off they go.

As Grampa tries to pick up a lady (and ultimately settling for an odd man who enjoys not listening to old man rambles), Bart and Lisa set up shop outside their parent's hotel room, falling asleep during the wait.  Homer and Marge see the two, and Homer quickly leads Marge out of the hotel, determined for the two to have extensive alone time (and having Ned Flanders' credit card to really go all out).  Bart and Lisa wake up in time to see them escape, and quickly give chase (Bart owning Rod Flanders' credit card to keep pace).

The kids follow their parents everywhere they go, and ultimately the parents give up.  The kids feel remorse that night, and decide to go to the amusement park to let their parents have a day by themselves.  Unknown to them, their parents sneaked off earlier to that same amusement park.  The two groups eye one another, and Homer and Marge run off.  They hide in a busted inflated castle, but they cause it to fall into the Niagara river, and eventually over the Niagara falls.  The thrill super turns on Marge, and she and Homer finally have their moment to themselves during that wild ride.  Thus, everything is going to be okay, though both Ned and Rod have massive credit card bills to deal with, now.

Quick Review
This was a weird episode, it was.  Grampa goes to Miami to pick up ladies, but ends up with that weird man.  Homer and Marge constantly try to avoid their kids, but their kids constantly keep up in a weird montage based on a movie several years old at the time, and Maggie is nowhere to be seen.  There's a few jokes that sneak into the episode, but otherwise the episode's plot is just too, well, stupid, for the episode to be any good.

Final Score: 5.8

My Big Fat Geek Wedding (S15, E17-330)

Call me whatever, but I'm fairly sure this isn't how Klingon couples get together.

Plot Summary
At long last, Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel are going to have their wedding!  For some reason, Marge is hosting Edna's bachelorette party at her house, while Homer leads the charge for Skinner's bachelor party... at Moe's.  Its there that Skinner reveals he's getting cold feet.  The next day, at the wedding, Skinner tries to flee but Homer stops him.  Edna witnesses this and realizes that passionless Skinner wouldn't make for a good husband, and so she leaves him at the altar.

For some reason, Marge consoles Edna while Homer tries to lift Skinner's spirits.  All the while, Marge and Homer are having marital spats of their own, which conflict with Homer's efforts to get Skinner back with Edna.  Hard on the rebound, Edna takes a liking to the comic book guy, and it sure doesn't take long for those two to 'get busy'.  Noticing Skinner outside in Homer's latest attempt to get him back with Homer, the comic book guy notes he'll be taking Edna to the Bi-Mon-Sci-Fi-Con.  Marge learns of Edna's rebound, and though she and Homer still aren't getting along the family goes to get Edna back on track.

At the convention, they family notices Edna walking into a side room.  Comic book guy, dressed in Klingon gear, proposes to Edna right in front of a bunch of other 'Klingons', but Skinner barges in, dressed as Catwoman, to stop it.  As he and comic book guy start to fight, Edna stops both of them.  Edna refuses to get back with Skinner, but also realizes she and comic book guy just wouldn't work either.  The matter is settled, and Homer quickly sets up a 'second wedding' to patch things up with Marge.

Quick Review
Thus ends the seven-year saga of the relationship between Seymour Skinner and Edna Krabappel, a saga which included three episodes (including this one), and a few other references to the fact that they were once together.  Also thrown into the mix is your standard Homer-and-Marge-are-having-marital-problems episode, as well as a few clunky comic book guy-related references.  Combined, it makes for a decidingly bad episode.  There aren't that many jokes, period, and even fewer that are actually funny, and there are a few cringeworthy moments peppered throughout that makes this episode somewhat awkward to watch.

Final Score: 5.8

The Wandering Juvie (S15, E16-329)

Boy, I hope Bart doesn't develop some odd fetish from this years later.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons go to the mall one day.  Bart learns about the wedding gift registry in one store, and decides to run a massive prank by registering himself and "Lotta Cooties" as a couple and getting people to buy presents for a fake wedding.  It seems to go off without a hitch, but Bart is caught trying to sneak away with presents by Chief Wiggum, who only accepts cash bribes.  In court, Judge Harm sentences Bart to six months of juvenile hall, this time for real.

Bart has a hard time adjusting in juvenile hall, what with everyone beating him up all the time.  Even the girl juveniles, led by a rather tough girl named Gina, give him distress.  Homer gets a job as a guard to protect Bart, but his shifts are too infrequent to do Bart any good.  One night, the hall hosts a mandatory dance on the premise that knowing how to dance reduces the chance of causing a double homicide.  Gina pairs up with Bart, the two shackled together by the Warden, but Gina eyes an escape route and makes her move, dragging Bart along for the ride, even though Bart only had two weeks left to serve.

With Gina threatening to play the victim and blame the escape all on Bart, the latter has no choice but to follow along for now.  The two get to know each other a little bit, with Gina telling Bart that once they get the shackles off she's going to hide out with her parents.  The two reach a blacksmith out in the woods who forges keys to unlock shackles, no questions asked.  Gina leaves rather forcefully, and when Bart goes to get in a last word, he sees her crying.  Turns out, Gina doesn't even have a family.  Bart tries to calm her down, but Gina snaps and attacks Bart.  Chief Wiggum finally catches up to the two, and plans to have both of them go back to jail for a long time.  Gina, in a change of heart, admits full responsibility for the escape, and so Bart is free to go (even though Bart still has a couple of weeks, but Wiggum doesn't care).  Gina goes back to juvie, but Bart brings the family to her jail cell for a taco dinner in appreciation for what she did.

Quick Review
In most of these Season 15 episodes, the funny starts off strong but dies near the end.  The comedy in this episode is more spread out, though that doesn't mean the episode is that much funnier as a result.  The episode, like most others this season, has its moments like the one bit with Homer as a guard, and Chief Wiggum had a few good moments too, but again the quantity of good jokes just isn't there anymore.

Final Score: 7.2

Co-Dependent's Day (S15, E15-328)

Damn, I could really go for some of that good word right about now.

Plot Summary
Homer takes the kids to see the latest edition of the Star Cosmic Wars saga.  However, the movie ends up being a lot of exposition (well, a glorified role call, literally), with a few appearances from Jar-Jar Binks Jim Jam Whatever.  Bart and Lisa decide to write to the movie's creator, George Lucas Randall Curtis, a rather fat tiny man.  However, when Lucas Curtis replies as though they liked the movie, the Simpsons decide to go to his ranch in northern California.  While Bart and Lisa go make Lucas Curtis understand their criticisms, Homer and Marge decide to go to a nearby winery.  Marge really gets into it with Homer, and the end up really drunk much to the surprise of both kids because, hey, they never see Marge drunk.

After returning home, Marge continues to drink wine with Homer as much as she can.  Soon, though, she hits her limit and the hangovers get to be a bit much.  She tells Homer they should lay off the wine drinking for awhile, and Homer agrees but then they go attend an Octoberfest anyway.  Rather than offend Germans, Marge has herself a rather large beer she 'nurses', but she winds up wasted anyway and passes out.  Homer, who is pretty drunk as well, tries to drive the two of them home, but promptly drives the car off the rail and into a ditch.  He hears the police arrive and, recalling in his drunken state that one more DUI arrest means the loss of his license, quickly fixes the scene to make it look like Marge drove the car into the ditch, and she gets arrested for DUI.

Marge can't remember much about the night, and thus is disgusted at herself for apparently drinking and driving.  She admits herself into rehab with Barney's help, but Homer begins to regret his decision.  He goes to the clinic and tells Marge the truth, and Marge gets so angry she storms off.  She meets up with others at the clinic, all of whom have their secret stashes and alcohol and Marge decides to join in.  However, Marge isn't as happy as she usually is when drunk, and she realizes that she was happy not because of the booze, but because she spent time with Homer.  She and Homer reconcile, and Marge convinces Homer to give up alcoholic clear liquids so that the two can finally have some memories together that aren't blurs.

Quick Review
Its your average Season 15 episode here, a few good jokes, periods of time where there aren't many jokes, your somewhat offensive plot point (this time, its Homer getting Marge to take the fall for DUI), and your joke-lacking ending.  These episodes have barely been able to stay above 7, and this episode is no different.  The first act, focused on "Cosmic" Wars was just odd, partly because they're going full out on mocking Star Wars yet they don't have enough stones to actually call it that.  Meh.

Final Score: 7.1

The Ziff Who Came to Dinner (S15, E14-327)

Hey look, its four guys with the same voice greeting a fifth guy with said voice.

Plot Summary
Homer takes his kids and the Flanders kids out to see a movie, but Rod and Todd inform Homer they aren't allowed to see some racy teen flick Homer plans on buying tickets for.  Instead, Lenny and Carl convince Homer to see a scary movie that features Lenny playing a bit part.  Of course, all four kids get scared beyond belief watching this movie.  That night, neither kid can sleep and both freak out over noises they hear, apparently from the attic.  The two attempt to investigate themselves, but they both eventually freak out and flee.  They get Homer and Marge to check instead, and they actually find a source of the noises: Artie Ziff!

Ziff, just a couple of season ago, was an internet billionaire with enough money to re-enact 1970s proms for women that don't love him, lost his fortune when his internet company's stock fell like most internet companies stock did, and lost all of his possessions.  With nowhere else to go, he hid out at the Simpsons place because they're the closest thing he's ever had to companionship.  While Marge is disgusted by the whole thing, the kids convince Homer at least to let the guy stay.

Artie is still depressed over his losses, though, so Homer decides to take him to Moe's.  Marge sees a news tidbit on Artie where he's wanted by the SEC for stockholder fraud and similar crimes.  Just then, Homer and Artie are playing poker with the bar mates, when Homer wins 98% of Ziffcorp's stock in a hand.  Just then, the SEC barges in to arrest Artie, but when they learn that Homer is now the majority shareholder of Ziffcorp, he's arrested instead.

With Homer going to jail for 10 years for what 'his' company did, a furious Marge kicks Artie out of the house.  Depressed, Artie is met by Patty and Selma.  Upon learning that it was Artie that put Homer in jail, Selma gets super turned on, and takes Artie back to the apartment for a one night stand.  This somehow causes Artie to realize what he's done, and decides to take responsibility for his actions.  He goes to the SEC to show another set of books that puts full financial culpability on him, leaving Homer free to go.  Marge thanks Artie for doing the right thing (eventually), and Artie goes to jail where he'll have a harder time making due than most people.

Quick Review
I usually enjoy episodes featuring a character voiced by Jon Lovitz, and boy did I try to enjoy this episode, but the quality just wasn't up to par.  There also had to of been a better way for Artie to realize his mistakes than to go all the way with Selma, what the hell was up with that, anyway?  Still, its not a completely bad episode.  There are a few good moments, particularly early on, and Lovitz provides a good Artie as usual.

Final Score: 7.2

Smart and Smarter (S15, E13-326)

This episode contends Maggie is just a tiny Lisa with firearms experience.

Plot Summary
When the family goes out for pancakes, Homer practically dares himself into having Maggie enrolled into a pre-nursery school.  The process of having a student accepted is simple: have Simon Cowell be impressed with the kid, which he isn't upon learning Maggie can't even talk.  Later, Lisa decides to help Maggie learn, when she learns that Maggie really is gifted.  They go back to Cowell and this time Maggie is able to display her intelligence.  Maggie's IQ is stated as 167, which is even higher than Lisa's 159, which really bugs Lisa immensely.

Lisa comes to realize that she is no longer the 'smart' kid, and decides to adopt a new persona, but attempts at doing so fail miserably.  Incensed, a jealous Lisa attempts to teach Maggie the wrong information, but Marge catches Lisa and chides her for it.  After having a nightmare, Lisa decides she can't stay in the same house as Maggie anymore, and runs away.  Lisa ends up at a museum, and decides to hide out there.  Her family tasks the police with finding Lisa, and they do actually find some of Lisa's stuff at the museum but aren't able to find Lisa herself.

The family decides to go to the museum to find Lisa, investigating a giant model of the human body where Lisa's belongings were located.  However, Maggie gets a hold of the model's digestive controls, and accidentally sends the other three Simpsons inside.  She's told that the red "Evacuate" button will free them, but Maggie is unable to discern what that means.  Lisa returns just in time to see this, and is able to help cue Maggie in on what color red is, and she presses the button just in time to free the family.

Later, Cowell goes to the house to inform everyone that Maggie is, in fact, not gifted; she actually picked up subconscious clues from Lisa during the testing that helped her answer most of the questions.  Lisa and Maggie share a closer bond, but not too close as Maggie's saxophone abilities scare Lisa just a bit too much.

Quick Review
Meh, it was an average episode.  Simon Cowell's appearance was actually pretty good for the most part, and his appearance during the credits had its moments as well.  The main plot, well, the only plot of the episode didn't have that much going for it in terms of comedy, but the episode holds up okay otherwise.

Final Score: 7.0

Milhouse Doesn't Live Here Anymore (S15, E12-325)

Living in the big city automatically makes one gangster.  Did I say that right?

Plot Summary
During a field trip to the Museum of TV, Bart notices that Milhouse has become rather edgy, and can't get an answer as to why other than Milhouse not caring what people think anymore.  After school, Bart learns the real reason why Milhouse is acting oddly: his mom has a new job in Capitol City, and Milhouse is moving with her there.  Though Milhouse's father vows to fight his ex's attempt to take away Milhouse, it leaves Bart without his best friend.

Meanwhile, Homer and his work pals go to Moe's, and Homer in particular gets pretty drunk.  He's shown out the door eventually, and sits on the ground remaining wasted.  He gains the pity of a rich woman, who gives him money, but Homer refuses to be given charity without dancing, and starts dancing his drunk ass off.  Homer doesn't return until late that night, much to the ire of Marge, but Homer returns with a bouquet of flowers, which softens Marge's heart, and Homer is bailed out for the night.

Bart goes to Capitol City to visit Milhouse, but he learns that Milhouse is trying pretty damn hard to fit in with the kids there, and Bart is used only for those purposes.  Unwilling to go through that again, Bart goes back home to mourn the loss of his friend.  Marge has seen enough of Bart's sorrow and suggests he help Lisa clean the car.  Somehow, in some way, Bart and Lisa bond over it (though all they did was goof off), and the two spend more time together.

Homer needs more money to buy Marge an anniversary present, then remembers how well begging did, so goes back out on the street to do it again, getting advice from a bum he knows to act like a crazy man for charity.  It works pretty well, and Homer ends up getting enough money to buy Marge diamond earrings.  However, Homer continues to go out and panhandle, hoping to get enough money for a second house.  The bum Homer knows gets tired of his act, and goes and shows Marge what Homer had been doing.  Marge yells at him, but unwilling to get rid of her earrings to prove moral superiority, Marge simply has Homer buy her an accompanying brooch, and everything's okay.

Bart and Lisa continue to bond, and though both realize they're now each other's best friend they don't seem to mind.  However, to Lisa's shock, Milhouse is back, his father having won Milhouse in court.  Sure enough, Bart spends all of his time with Milhouse again, and Lisa is left crushed.  Homer sees this and wakes Bart up over the issue, and that night Bart promises he'll continue to be a good brother to Lisa, which Lisa is happy with.

Quick Review
Homer's subplot about him panhandling was the better of the two storylines, but the main plot wasn't half bad either.  My favorite part of the episode was Willie's rant about how the Scots are enemies with everyone including other Scots, giving the episode a big boost on its own, but the episode altogether isn't all that special.

Final Score: 7.7

Margical History Tour (S15, E11-324)

"In the morning, you'll be as good as new... or dead!
But the important thing is, we'll know."

Plot Summary
Marge takes Bart, Lisa and Milhouse to the library as the kids are writing papers on historical figures.  However, the library mostly houses bums now (including Homer apparently), and holds nothing of educational value.  Marge decides to step up and help the kids out with the papers herself thanks to her somewhat competent knowledge of history.

Henry VIII
For Milhouse, Marge tells the story of King Henry VIII (Homer), who so desperately wants to conceive a male heir.  His first wife, "Margerine" of Aragon, bears a daughter, Mary I (Lisa).  Since Margerine is the daughter of the King of Spain, Henry can't simply execute her, so he instead invents and implement divorce, though Margerine still gets Ireland in the settlement.  Henry then goes to marry Anne Boleyn, but when she births a daughter she gets executed.  Soon, Henry goes through a cycle of marrying and executing women when they fail to birth boys, sometimes not even that much.  Years later, Margerine meets with an ailing Henry, who regrets his decisions, and asks Margerine to be with him.  Margerine instead suffocates Henry with a pillow.  It is to be noted that this story isn't historically accurate, but you probably knew that already.
Individual Score: +0.2

Sacagawea
For Lisa, Marge tells the story of Lewis (Lenny) and Clark (Carl), pioneers who set out for western pastures.  They received the aid of a Native American tribe, who offer a young girl as a guide to the land: Sacagawea (Lisa).  Though Sacagawea's oft-obvious advice seemingly goes ignored by the two rather inept adventurers, they still make some progress.  However, the two increasingly grow weary of Sacagawea's constant opinions and nagging, and she decides to take their leave.  Soon, Sacagawea runs afoul of a mountain lion, but is saved when Lewis and Clark arrive and scare off the beast by making themselves appear large (advice Sacagawea gave them earlier).  The three reunite and together reach the rainy shores of Eugene, Oregon.    As thanks for the help, Lewis and Clark preserve Sacagawea's memory in a dollar coin that can be exchanged for a real dollar at the bank.  It is to be noted that this story isn't historically accurate, but you probably knew that already.
Individual Score: +0.5

Mozart
Bart is uninterested in all of this, but Marge tries to drive his interest in a 'badass rocker that lived fast and died young': Mozart!  In this story, Mozart (Bart) is a gifted musician with a prankster's mindset, much to the annoyance of Salieri (Lisa), who in this story is Mozart's sister for an odd though slightly convenient reason.  Mozart's work is continuously praised while Salieri's is ignored.  Salieri has enough and decides to plot Mozart's downfall.  Learning that the crowd's pleasure is directly tied to the Emperor's (Mr. Burns), Salieri slips a sleeping agent into the Emperor's wine, causing him to fall asleep during one of Mozart's compositions.  The crowd follows suit, and Mozart is now considered washed up.  He takes the news rather hard, and goes into a deep depression that results in him becoming deathly ill.  Salieri admits her guilt to a dying Mozart, but he takes comfort that, in dying young, his music will forever remain more popular than Salieri's.  Still, Salieri now considers herself the best living composer around and decides to impress the Emperor with a new composition, however the Emperor has grown to love a new composer: Beethoven.  Salieri snaps and admits herself to an asylum.  Lisa points out this story is similar to the inaccurate play/movie Amadeus, but Homer throws in a Animal House reference, and the episode concludes.
Individual Score: +0.3

Quick Review
As you can tell, I didn't find any of the three segments very funny, with the Sacagawea segment just barely beating out the other two in terms of quality.  As is my continuing fear with these anthologies, I think more effort was put into telling this inaccurate historical tales than making sure the jokes within said tales were both plentiful and comical, and as a result the episode as a whole didn't have much in the way of quality bits.

Final Score: 6.4

Diatribe of a Mad Housewife (S15, E10-323)

Because no one demanded it: the long-waited return of Dr. Marvin Monroe.

Plot Summary
Homer's reckless driving within the plant causes him to lose his job.  Homer finds employment at a used car lot as a salesman.  While there, he sees an ambulance on sale, and when he hears its siren go off, he decides to quit his new job and become an ambulance driver.  While this is happening, Marge and the kids go to a bookstore where Marge meets the author of a series of books Marge enjoys.  Marge gets inspiration from the author somehow, and decides that she can write a book as well.  She starts to write a story about the wife of a whaler, who she imagines is just like herself, and writes the whaler as a more awesome version of Homer.  However, Marge's vision of the whaler lessens when Homer shows a lack of interest in Marge or her book, fully absorbed in his new job.  Feeling neglected, Marge rewrites the whaler as a cruel drunkard who only treats his wife poorly.  Marge decides to add a romantic character who will attract the depressed housewife and models the man after Ned Flanders.  With her conflict set, Marge is able to finish writing her book.

Marge has Lisa preview the book, and Lisa notices that the drunken whaler is a lot like Homer, and advises Marge to have Homer read the story first.  Marge does so, but Homer gets distracted and ends up only reading two sentences, later telling Marge that he liked the story to cover his ass.  Marge is relieved and goes to publish the book, which occurs rather easily.  People across Springfield start reading the book and quickly realize that the main character in the book is a lot like Marge, making the connection.  Homer catches wind of this and finally gets around to reading the book (on audiotape), and learns that the whaler is basically him.  He confronts Marge over this, but before Marge has much of a chance to defend herself (or scold Homer for lying earlier), Homer rushes out angrily to find Flanders.

Ned freaks out over Homer's aggressive greeting, and drives off.  Homer catches up in the ambulance, forcing Ned to pull over.  With this scene mirroring the final scene of the book (where both men end up dying), Homer walks up to Ned... to ask for help in being a better husband.  Marge catches up to see what Homer is really doing, and is relieved.  Homer then declare that the two should 'collaborate on a new project', which is lingo for writing a book about who really killed JFK.

Quick Review
This was another okay episode, with nothing that great but nothing that bad.  Frankly, this scored better than I thought it would, as the scenes that focus on Marge's novel didn't detract from the episode as much as expected.

Final Score: 7.3

I, (D'oh)-Bot (S15, E09-322)

Now why didn't robot fighting last longer than it did?  Why, I ask!

Technically the episode name is "I, (Annoyed Grunt)-Bot" but who would actually call it that, really.

Plot Summary
Bart finds his bike to be incapable of keeping up with the 10-speed bikes the cool kids are using.  Homer explicitly tells Bart that he'll only a new bike when his old one no longer functions, no questions asked.  Bart sets up a ploy where his bike gets run into by a passing-by car, Dr. Hibbert's car, and Hibbert also agrees to pay for the new bike in apology.  However, as he begins to drive away, Lisa cat, Snowball II, leaps from Lisa's arms and ends up being run over by Hibbert's car, dying in the process.  As Lisa mourns the departure of her second cat, Homer get Bart the new bike, though he refuses to pay to have it assembled.  Homer decides to build it himself, and at first seems to actually do it, but it turns out he didn't, and the bike falls apart just as Bart attempts to show it off.

Bart is extremely disappointed in Homer and his inability to build things.  Homer decides to prove Bart wrong and tries to build a robot after noticing Bart likes to watch one of those robot fighting shows that were popular at the time.  However, he's unable to, and seemingly gives up.  The next morning, though, Bart is greeted with a hammer-wielding robot Homer seemingly built, having it smash a six-pack of beer to test its might and stability.  As Bart rushes off to show off his robot, its revealed that Homer is inside, having just built a metal casing to pose as a robot.  Bart enters the 'robot' into a robot fighting contest, calling his robot "Chief Knock-a-Homer".  In the first fight, against a saw-wielding robot, Homer gets a deep cut on his arm, but is able to defeat the robot anyway.  Homer continues fighting in the competition, keeping the truth of the robot - and his wounds - secret from Bart and the family.

Meanwhile, Marge and Lisa go to the pound to get a new cat, and Lisa finds one she calls "Snowball III".  However, a short time later she finds the new cat having drowned in the fish tank.  Saddened, Lisa tries to get a new cat, and finds one called "Coltrane", named after the jazz musician.  Lisa brings Coltrane home and tries to play some Coltrane for it, but the cat can't stand it and jumps out the window to its death.  Feeling unlucky, Lisa laments her situation when that crazy cat lady throws a cat at Lisa, a cat that looks just like Snowball II.  Lisa tries to push it away, afraid it'll die like the others, but after seeing the cat avoid death, she decides to keep it and call it Snowball V (even though she never called Coltrane 'Snowball IV'), but then decides to call it Snowball II to save money on a dish and avoid confusion, a rather odd continuity reset Principal Tamzarian Skinner points out as he walks by.

Chief Knock-a-Homer makes it to the robot fighting championship, but its up against Smashious Clay, a rather terrifying robot built by Professor Frink and boy that looks like Frink that may or may not be his son.  Despite the high probability of death, Homer tries to keep his ruse going, but after one round's worth of a beatdown, he stumbles back to Bart who finally discovers the secret.  However, Bart is even prouder of Homer now, as he risked his life to beat up robots.  The second round starts and Homer is beat up even more, being forced out of the casing.  Frink's robot stops fighting, following its directive to only serve humans, and everyone becomes disgusted with robot fighting after 'man' is declared the champion.

Quick Review
The main storyline with Homer and Bart had its moments.  It was nothing spectacular, but it held its own and I had no problems with it, really.  I didn't really have any problems with the cat subplot, not even to take away points from the episode's score but I still found it odd.  In all, three cats died in Lisa's care, and in the end Lisa gets a fourth cat that looks just like the one she started with and with the same name as well.  That, combined with the lack of jokes in the subplot kinda makes the whole thing pointless.  It doesn't detract from the episode, like I've said, but it doesn't help it any, either.

Final Score: 7.2

Marge vs. Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays (S15, E08-321)

From the people in the picture, and the order in which they're standing,
it implies that the sea captain and Edna are the 'childless couple'.
Talk about your foreshadowing...

Plot Summary
Maggie becomes enamored with Roofi, a guy who sings lovable songs to infants.  In his haste to stop Maggie from watching it on TV, Bart suggests Marge go and buy CDs instead.  Thus, Homer, Bart and Lisa are forced to hear Roofi's tunes all day long, with the only justification being that "Maggie likes it".  One day, its announced Roofi is coming to Springfield for a live show, and Marge is able to get tickets for herself and Maggie.  The outdoor concert, though, is oversold and is packed full of mothers and babies who are making it their Woodstock.  However, it starts to rain, making the babies rather unruly.  Not even a disgruntled Roofi can make the babies feel better, and as he makes a hasty departure, the babies riot, causing tons of damage.

Later, during a town hall meeting, Mayor Quimby "collects" money to pay for the damages, then he introduces Lindsey Naegle.  Naegle announces she's started up a group called "Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays Against Parasitic Parents", or SSCCATAGAPP for short.  The group is tired for having to pay up for school taxes, damages or other inconveniences created by children and their parents.  Marge attempts to object, but she's quickly overruled and the town rallies behind SSCCATAGAPP to destroy every kid-friendly thing in town.  Some time later, Marge is able to catch Naegle to have a talk with her, using Lisa as the example of the best kids have to offer (but brings along Bart and Maggie anyway, which ruins the attempt).  As Naegle is unswayed, Marge goes to her last resort: a voter-sponsored initiative via petition that'll be ready to vote by the March primary.

Starting up a group called "Proud Parents Against Singles, Seniors, Childless Couples and Teens, and Gays" or PPASSCCATAG for short, Marge has trouble acquiring funds and signatures for her effort.  However, Mr. Burns of all people gets the ball rolling (because he likes the fresh organs kids can provide), and soon people across town join in as well, putting the "Families Comes First" initiative on the ballot, though I don't think its explained what Families Come First actually does specifically.  Soon, attack ads appear on TV against Marge and FCF, but Homer decides it times for him to turn the tables.  He puts his own ad on TV in favor of FCF, but the commercial is terrible, refers to the wrong proposition (232 instead of 242), and he had printed bumper stickers that erroneous say "Yes No 242".  Marge is dismayed by these series of failures, and she slinks off with the belief that 242 will fail.

Bart and Lisa decide to help out, because FCF is about them after all.  They come up with quick plan to ensure 242's success.  The day of the vote, the two rally several kids and have them go up and 'hug' members of SSCCATAGAPP (you know, Naegle's group), giving them infections that they had no opportunity to defend against from their evading child conception previously.  With SSCCATAGAPP unable to vote, Families Come First passes, and everything is back to normal.

Quick Review
This episode was okay, I suppose.  The opening act featuring Maggie's obsession with Roofi was, I think, the best of the three, and Homer's terrible ad was funny too.  There wasn't anything really bad about the episode, but nothing that really made it great, either.

Final Score: 7.2

'Tis the Fifteenth Season (S15, E07-320)

Somehow this sequence turned into a Grinch tribute.  I don't know how.

Plot Summary
Its Christmas time again!  At work, after Homer brushes off his Secret Santa duties, Mr. Burns arrives to give everyone a lunch coupon as their bonus, but Burns also gives Homer a baseball card for Bart.  The card, a Joe DiMaggio rookie card, has its value go unnoticed by both Burns and Homer, and Homer goes to sell the card to the comic book guy for some Christmas cash.  The comic book guy more than happily gives Homer plenty of money for the card, and now he's set.  He takes the family to a fancy shopping district to get their Christmas shopping done, promising to use the leftover money to buy a big, good tree.  However, Homer sees a talking astrolabe in a store and can't help but buy it, despite it costing $500.  Now out of money, Homer goes to buy a cheap, dry tree which draws the family's suspicion.  They learn of the astrolabe and chide Homer for being really selfish, yet again.

An angry Marge has Homer sleep on the couch that night.  There, Homer watches a version of A Christmas Carol featuring "Mr. McGrew".  Homer relates himself to McGrew and realizes just how selfish he's been.  The next morning, Homer vows to be selfless instead, though the family doesn't believe him.  Still, Homer quickly goes out and helps out around town, giving away things to everybody he comes across.  This ends up drawing the ire of Ned Flanders, whose generosity no longer has a recipient thanks to Homer beating him to the punch.  Ned buckles down and decides to do the nicest thing he can: buying everyone in Springfield a Christmas present.

Homer is determined to outshine Flanders, but makes a mistake by once again listening to Lisa.  She reminds everyone that, yes, she's still a Buddhist, and that Buddhists wish to rid themselves of material possessions such as, you guessed it, Christmas present.  Homer then comes to believe that if he rids everyone of their presents, they'll become happier.  On the night of Christmas Eve, Homer sneaks out and steals every present in town.  He parks his car holding all the presents near city hall, eager to hear jubilation over his deeds.  Instead, a mob quickly advances on him.  Flanders quickly stops the mob, making a note that perhaps he made a mistake in giving all those presents in the first place.  Further, the town sees a shining star (really just a flare from a distressed Hans Moleman), and as Homer and Ned give back the presents, they all sing a carol.

Quick Review
This episode starts off okay, with a couple of good jokes and decent claymation sequences that were neat if not all that funny.  Nothing all that great, mind you.  Then, the episode really falls apart once Homer decides to take Lisa's Buddhist teachings literally, and even with a decent reference to The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and a good joke at Moleman's expense, the end sequences were just unfunny altogether and ruins the episode.

Final Score: 5.3

Today I Am a Clown (S15, E06-319)

When Mr. T made that line about not managing his
finances better, how serious do you think he was?

Plot Summary
The family learns that Santa's Little Helper conceived puppies with Dr. Hibbert's poodle.  The family finds this odd as, after the last time the dog had puppies, Homer was supposed to get the dog neutered.  However, Homer took pity on the dog and had it promise never to get 'busy' again, which obviously didn't work.  So, Bart and Lisa go around town to give away the new batch of puppies.  They give one puppy to Krusty the Klown, who takes it for a walk a short time later.  He gets taken to the Jewish walk of fame, but learns to his disgust that he isn't featured on there.  When he goes to get his name on there, he learns he isn't eligible because he never had his bar mitzvah.

Bart and Lisa find the ashamed clown, and get him to ask his father, the venerable Rabbi Krustofsky, why Krusty never had a bar mitzvah.  The Rabbi simply reveals that by the time Krusty could have one, he had fully gone into his career as a clown and that holding a bar mitzvah for him would've shamed the family.  Krusty decides to have one, anyway, and furthermore begins to openly display his beliefs on the show.  This includes not doing the show on Saturdays like before, so Krusty decides on having Homer replace him on that day, under the premise that Homer will screw up so bad there's no way he could replace Krusty (there's no way that plan will backfire!).  As Krusty takes his extra free time to study up for his bar mitzvah, Homer's fill-in show on Saturday is basically just him, Moe, Lenny and Carl ranting about things.  The kids aren't fans of it, but most adults are and the show becomes a hit.  Homer becomes a bit power-hungry, though, replacing Lenny with Barney when the former hinted at a pay raise, and Barney with Disco Stu when the former complained about the lighting.  It becomes so popular, the network executives decide to simply cancel Krusty's regular show.

Krusty goes to FOX and they agree to air his bar mitzvah live.  Meanwhile, Homer makes the grave mistake of listening to Lisa and uses the show to talk about important issues.  Predictably, people stop watching, the ratings tank and Homer's show is quickly cancelled.  At the same time, Krusty's bar mitzvah gets underway, and he gets Mr. T to help with the show.  However, Krusty sees his father in the stands looking awfully disappointed in Krusty, and Krusty decides to have a normal bar mitzvah after the show.

Quick Review
This was an alright episode, nothing special.  The middle act was probably the best of the three, but the others were okay as well.  I didn't enjoy Mr. T's appearance as much as I thought I would, it was just him either doing the ceremony or making a joke based around his famous "I pity the fool" phrase.  Still, its better than the other episode focused on Krusty's religion, which isn't saying all that much.

Final Score: 7.5

The Fat and the Furriest (S15, E05-318)

Seeing a guy cower in a field of toilets, it just takes away your will to maul.

Plot Summary
Its mother's day, and Homer learns that he and Bart 'made' the same present for Marge.  Homer goes out to buy Marge a new present, but can't find anything until Patty and Selma of all people help him find a present: a "Carnival Kitchen", which provides the culinary delights of a carnival (deep fry, cotton candy, and caramel).  Marge loves the present, and everyone loves making stuff from the machine.  That night, though, Homer sneaks into the kitchen and goes massively overboard, creating a massive ball of deep fried, caramel-soaked cotton candy.  Homer and the kids snack on it for awhile, but as Homer takes it around with him it collects dirt, ants, and other unsanitary elements, and Homer is eventually forced to throw it away.  He goes to the garbage dump to do so, but while there he's attacked by a bear.

That night, a tattered Homer returns home unwilling to talk about what happened.  However, the news shows a video of Homer cowering rather pathetically to the bear, as shot by Grant Connor, a hunter.  News of Homer's cowardice quickly spreads, and Homer's newfound arktophobia only worsens, even becoming afraid of popular advertising icon bears.  Grampa smacks Homer out of it, and tells Homer that in order to overcome his fear of bears, he needs to find the bear that scared him and beat the tar out of it.  Homer finds Connor and gets help from him on how to find and fight the bear, given a tracking device as Connor had put a tag on the bear previously somehow.  Further, Homer designs some makeshift armor for himself, without an ass plate in case he gets a little too spooked.  Marge pleads with Homer to not do this, but the next morning Homer sneaks out with Lenny, Carl and Bart to go find the bear.

Homer's armor makes Homer pretty sweaty, so he goes to the river to clean himself, Bart telling him that the radar they have isn't picking up anything.  However, the batteries in the device have been removed, and an armorless Homer is attacked by the bear yet again, this time being dragged to a cave.  Marge gets a hold of Connor and they go out to find Homer and the bear.  In the cave, Homer notices that the bear is in pain from the tag Connor put on it, and promptly removes it.  The bear is thankful, and the two now become friends, going out Yogi Bear style to steal picnic food and such.  Homer learns that he's been presumed mauled by the bear and that the bear now has a bounty on it, and decides to help the bear make its way to a nearby wildlife refuge.  However, the path of the refuge is littered with hunters hired by Connor to take the bear out.  Homer comes up with a plan: he puts the bear in his armor, which at first makes the hunters believe the bear to be Homer, but then also protects him from the gunfire, the hunters unable to hit the bear in the creases inbetween the plating.  The bear makes it to the refuge, quickly gaining an enemy in an elephant, and Marge is proud that Homer was able to save the same bear he had developed a fear of.

Quick Review
This was a pretty good episode, I felt.  Homer's fear of bears in the middle portion of the episode led to a good number of quality gags, which made it the strongest portion of the episode.  The latter portion of the episode slowed down the comedy a bit, though Homer's adventures with the bear had its moments.  It all works out to be a quality episode.

Final Score: 8.1

The Regina Monologues (S15, E04-317)

Why wasn't there that much rage towards this episode from England?
Was it because it was Season 15 and nobody cared about the show then?
Or was it because the British are cool people with a sense of humor?
(its probably the former)

Plot Summary
Mr. Burns withdraws a $1000 bill somehow, but he quickly loses it and it flies away.  It falls into Bart's hands, but he is forced by Marge to put out a flier to have someone claim it within a set amount of time.  Nobody is able to prove that bill is theirs, so Bart gets to keep it.  Instead of spending it, though, Bart shows off the bill to others, eventually setting up a scheme where he charges people $5 to see the bill.  Burns finally arrives to claim his bill, and Bart's days of exploitation are over.  He did 'earn' $3000 in his scheme though, and he is convinced by Lisa to do something for Marge, deciding to spend the money on a vacation.  On pondering where to go to, Grampa reveals he wishes to go to England in hopes of finding a woman whom he had a fling with during World War II.  The family agrees and the Simpsons are going to England.

As Grampa begins his search for his lost love, the Simpsons take in all that England has to offer.  Eventually, it seems like that, for once, the Simpsons are going to have a regular vacation.  However, Homer accidentally drives into a roundabout and is stuck in it for hours.  Homer eventually snaps and forces his way out, but rear-ends a carriage in the process.  Perhaps coincidentally, the carriage was carrying the Queen of England.  Homer is arrested and, with the Queen's blessing, jailed for his crime.

The family attempts to help Homer break out, but he accidentally stumbles into the Queen's bedroom somehow.  He's able to plead for mercy, and the Queen allows Homer to leave England under the condition that he drags Madonna along with him.  At the airport, Grampa is met by his long lost love, who birthed a daughter from their relationship: Abby, a now 58year old woman who looks and acts like Homer.  Grampa realizes this and makes a quick sprint to the gate, while Homer and Abby get along seemingly unaware of their relation.

Quick Review
I didn't like this episode all that much.  Country-bashing is nothing new for the show, neither is screwing around with leaders of said country whether those leaders are political leaders or, uh, whatever the Queen is nowadays.  Still, the attempts at humor this episode provides dies off once the family reaches England, as some focus is made in introducing guest stars and making jokes revolve around them, which is hard to do right.  The parts with the Queen are just odd and there wasn't much to laugh about there.  Grampa learning he has another illegitimate child was mildly intriguing, but still not all that funny.

Final Score: 6.0

The President Wore Pearls (S15, E03-316)

That suit doesn't do a good job of hiding her big butt.  Yeah, I said it.

Plot Summary
The elementary school hosts a casino night as suggested by student body president Martin Prince.  However, when Martin 'reminds' everyone that they're not playing with real money, a riot ensues leaving the room a mess.  Principal Skinner is forced to have Martin resign as president.  The next day, Lisa sees a signup sheet for student body president, and decides to enter.  However, the far more popular Nelson signs as well, and with nobody caring about the things she does it looks like she's going to lose the election to Nelson.  Just then, Lisa pulls out a song to tell everyone what she's going to do as president, and the kids rally behind it and elect Lisa as president.

The school's staff, including Principal Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers, are worried that Lisa's current popularity combined with her always present awareness will make her rather formidable, and decide to appeal to Lisa's vanity to control her.  They calls Lisa into the teacher's lounge and, through the power of song, dress Lisa up in successful clothing and convince her that her real job as president is to look good to the student body.  They also have her unwittingly sign a form supposedly to allow her access to the study hall at any time.  The next day, Lisa along with everyone else is shocked to learn that the school has taken away art, music and gym, and that Lisa signed the form to allow it.

Disgusted at what she became, Lisa's determination is renewed, and is able to lead the students into striking.  With the police on their side, the students are determined to get their extracurriculars back.  However, Chalmers realizes that the body will fall once it loses its head, and decides to take out Lisa, by transferring her to the Springfield Magnet School for the gifted and troublesome.  Her rally at an end, Lisa is saddened, though she perks up when she arrives at her new school.  Just then, Homer arrives to take Lisa back to her old school, absolutely unwilling to drive her to this new school manually.  The episode then states the school found money to reinstate art, music and gym by cancelling flu shots and selling loose cigarettes, so it all works out.

Quick Review
This episode, which took a decidedly musical turn, ends up being better than what I was expecting.  I suppose this is because several characters, like Skinner and Groundskeeper Willie, salvage the otherwise bland plot with their usual brand of hijinks and humor.

Final Score: 7.5