The Secret War of Lisa Simpson (S08, E25-178)

Typical Call of Duty player, am I right?  Us gamers.

Plot Summary
Lisa finds herself bored with school, as Ms. Hoover has spent the entire day showing outdated educational movies.  She tries to have Principal Skinner increase the challenge, but he notes that doing so will draw the ire and confusion of the less bright, and chooses not to go along with her plan.  Meanwhile, Bart's class has gone on a field trip to the police station.  Able to separate from the group, Bart finds a large quantity of megaphones.  Learning that two of them, in front of the other, is much louder than one on its own, Bart lines up a total of fifteen megaphones aimed at the window.  Upon speaking the word "testing", a large shockwave of audio feedback explodes through town, shattering every window and beer bottle it comes across.  Later, with a loud ringing noise still persistent, Chief Wiggum brings Bart home to be punished.  Wiggum suggests the family take Bart to a military school to teach him discipline.  The two agree to do so, and take Bart there under the false premise of taking him to Disneyland.

The military school is as Bart feared, but the challenge of the classwork is exactly what Lisa is hoping for, and she's able to convince both her parents and the school's Commandant to have her attend the school, notable because the school had not admitted a girl in its history.  With a girl now in the ranks, a lot of cadets are forced to move out of their barracks and into another one as theirs is converted into a girl's barracks.  This immediately gets Lisa on the wrong foot with the cadets, who agree to subject both Lisa and Bart to heavy amounts of hazing.  After some point, though, the cadets decide that Bart has 'become worthy' and accept him into their ranks, though they have no such plans with Lisa.

As Bart tries to fit in with the cadets, Lisa becomes isolated, and she has difficulty with with less-intellectual facets of military school.  She tries to call home for reassurance, but gets no answer.  After willfully listening to Grampa ramble for an entire day on the phone, she gets a care package from Marge featuring an audio tape.  She tries to get Bart to listen to it as well, but he declines so that he doesn't fall out of favor with the other cadets.

Feeling bad for shunning Lisa, Bart apologizes to her the next day, and decides to help her out in secret.  A short time later, the cadets are introduced to the 'final exam', as it were: the Eliminator.  Its a single, blister-making rope stationed 40 ft above a garden of thorn bushes, with the goal being to crawl across the entire length of the rope.  Bart tries to have a fearful Lisa practice the obstacle at night, but Lisa admits that this is a challenge she wasn't prepared for.

On the day of the challenge, all of the other cadets make it across, including Bart, with Lisa the final person to attempt it.  She struggles, and at one point her hands slip, leaving her dangling by her feet.  As the other cadets root for her to fall, Bart finally steps up and gives Lisa open encouragement.  Lisa is rejuvenated by Bart's aid, and is able to recover and complete the obstacle.  The other cadets, betrayed by Bart, plan to give him hell for the rest of the semester, but the semester ends in three hours, so Bart is basically spared.  The two are able to graduate with the rest of the class, and to celebrate Homer and Marge tell the two they're going to Disneyland for real: but really they're just going to the dentist.

Quick Review
Season 8 ends on a strong note with this episode, with a fast and funny start that admittedly slows down near the end but still has enough quality for it to be among some of the season's better episodes, and is one of the better season finales out there.  If Season 8 is considered the final season of the Simpsons' golden age, this episode is a fine way to conclude it.

Final Score: 9.5

The Simpsons Spin-Off Showcase (S08, E24-177)

The faces on Bart and fake Lisa say it all, really.

Plot Summary
In the first of what will end up being several non-Halloween 'trilogy' episodes, this one has a special theme to it: Spin-Off!  Troy McClure narrates this special episode, noting that FOX has a lot of airspace to fill and requested the producers of The Simpsons to fill said time.  They came up with three possible spin-off shows featuring characters from the show in new and different scenarios.

Chief Wiggum P.I.
Having been dismissed from the Springfield police due to massive corruption, Wiggum, along with his son Ralph, set up a detective agency in New Orleans.  Seymour Skinner comes with them to act as Wiggum's sidekick.  Though Wiggum is determined to clean up New Orleans, he quickly gains an enemy: Big Daddy.  One night, Wiggum is given a warning via a corked alligator, but the distraction allows for Ralph to be kidnapped.  Wiggum and Skinner are given a call by Big Daddy, who states that he has Ralph, unharmed, and will return him to Wiggum once he agrees to leave town.  The two notice that the call seemed to have background noise like that of a party.  Struggling to figure out what kind of party that would be in New Orleans, they are shocked to learn that its currently Mardi Gras.  Wiggum runs out and meets the Simpsons, who just happened to be there at the time.  They point out Ralph, who is enjoying the party with Big Daddy, but as Ralph sees "regular daddy", Big Daddy tries to escape.  He ultimately flees to the governor's mansion, which had been stolen and placed in the middle of a swamp, while Wiggum gives chase.  The two confront one another there, but Big Daddy tosses Ralph at Wiggum and escapes, very slowly swimming away.  Wiggum is confident the two will meet again each and every week, and then Skinner makes a fat joke.
Individual Score: +1.9

The Love-Matic Grampa
Lonely once again, Moe is stunned to learn that his love testing machine is possessed by Grampa Simpson, who for the purpose of this story has died only to of gotten lost on the way to heaven, ending up in Moe's machine.  Grampa declares that he'll help Moe with his love life.  After a brief confrontation with Homer, a beautiful woman comes in, her car having broke down.  Grampa helps Moe court her to dinner.  At the dinner, Moe somehow 'sneaks' Grampa in, leave him in the bathroom to give him advice as needed.  However, when Moe goes in one time, he finds the machine beaten up by bullies.  Clearly malfunction, the machine gives Moe faulty advice, which promptly gets Moe in trouble.  As he starts kicking the machine for blowing the date, the woman walks in, exposing Moe's scheme, but falls for him anyway after seeing what he's going through to 'do' her.  The two, along with Grampa, enjoy the moment.
Individual Score: +1.3

The Simpson Family Smile-Time Variety Hour
Its a 70s-themed variety show featuring, among others, every member of the Simpson family except for Lisa, who refused to do the show.  Instead, a hot blonde takes her place under the role of a preppy teenager.  The family has a skit involving beavers, and then a musical number regaling everyone's love for candy.  Tim Conway is also around but he only appears at the beginning and end of the bit.
Individual Score: +0.8

As the episode ends, Troy McClures shares some plotlines that will surely appear for Season 9: magic powers!  Wedding after wedding after wedding (all involving Selma)!  Long lost triplets!  Lastly, a little green man named Osmodiar that only Homer can see.  Troy and Osmodiar wish the audience a good night as the episode ends.

Quick Review
This was a rather clever episode, doing a very good job parodying the types of shows that the spin-offs are about.  Wiggum's spin-off was by far the best of the three, but the other two have their moments as well.  Having Lisa be replaced in the variety show was probably the best thing about it, even if older, blonder, hotter Lisa didn't directly provide any laughs herself.  Overall, its a remarkably excellent episode, among Season 8's best.

Final Score: 9.7

Homer's Enemy (S08, E23-176)

Man, he is eating that donut like a pro, goddamn.

Plot Summary
Mr. Burns sees a segment on TV regarding Frank Grimes, a man who has struggled through adversity after adversity yet was still able to work hard and acquire his degree in nuclear physics.  Inspired, Burns has Smithers find Grimes to make him his Executive Vice President.  The next day, Burns has now found similar inspiration in a heroic dog and has Smithers find it instead for that position, having Grimes be pushed off somewhere in the plant.

As it turns out, he ends up right next to Homer.  As Lenny introduces himself, Carl and Homer to Grimes, Homer immediately becomes a great annoyance to "Grimey", as Homer calls him, eating his lunch and messing with his pencils.  Frank is astonished that such an incompetent man could be the plant's safety inspector.  A turning point occurs when Homer is about to unwittingly drink acid.  Frank is able to knock it away, damaging a wall in the process.  Mr. Burns catches wind of this, learning that Frank is technically responsible, and punishes him for the damage done.  Further upset over these developments, Frank officially declares to Homer that they're enemies.

In the meantime, Bart is able to acquire an abandoned factory for a dollar in an auction.  The factory is clearly run down and dilapidated, but he 'hires' Milhouse and the two have fun within the decaying structure.  By episode's end, though, the factory does fall apart, its rats running over to Moe's for shelter.

Upset that he has an enemy, Homer gets advice from Moe and decides to bring him over to dinner, though he simply told Frank he had "something important" to tell him rather than send a formal invitation that might've been declined.  At the house, Frank notices just how much better off Homer is despite how lazy he has been.  A beautiful wife, a wonderful home, a son who owns a factory, lobsters for dinner, and having gone on several wild adventures and encounters.  Further agitated from this, Frank plainly calls Homer "what's wrong with America", as well as a fraud before taking his leave.

Homer refuses to go to work the next day because of Frank, but after talking to Marge, decides that he'll act more professional to gain Frank's favor.  Frank isn't affected by Homer's half-assed attempts, but finds that nobody will join him in pointing out that Homer is a moron.  Noting that he could die happy if he can prove to everyone in the plant that Homer is a dope, Frank notices a flier for a children's nuclear plant design contest.  Carefully carving out any reference to children, Frank plants the flier at Homer's station, hoping that he'll enter and embarrass himself in front of the plant by partaking in a children's contest.  Homer takes interest in the contest in hopes of impressing Frank, and thus Frank's plan is underway.

However, Frank's plan backfires as not only does Homer win the contest (as Lenny says, he "beat their brains out"), but gains the applause of the crowd.  Its the final straw for Grimes, as he has a mental breakdown right then and there.  He prances around the plant, promising he can be just as lazy and irresponsible as Homer, to the point where he deludes himself into believing he's Homer.  To further show he's now as 'dumb' as Homer, he tries to handle live wires with his bare hands, which electrocute him to death.  At Frank's funeral, Homer falls asleep, and his murmurs entertain the crowd just as Grime's casket descends into the ground.

Quick Review
For a time, this episode seemed to be rather controversial.  After all, it takes your real life hard-working person, pits him against lazy ol' Homer, and not only does Homer 'win', but the hard worker goes insane and eventually kills himself, and nobody even really cares.  I mean, that's pretty dark.  Its an episode that's more forgiven by younger viewers, who probably view it with a bit of nostalgia, whereas those who first saw it as adults thought it went just a bit too far, a few even considering it a "jumping the shark" moment for the series.

I'm personally in the former camp, and I'm willing to admit that nostalgic bias has a lot to do with how well I'm scoring this episode.  Homer's interaction with Grimes, Lenny and Carl's indifference to Homer's incompetence, Bart's factory subplot, these all add up to become one of Season 8's best episodes, and while the ending was indeed dark, I was not bothered by it at all.

Final Score: 10

In Marge We Trust (S08, E22-175)

You will never be able to accept the challenge of Mr. Sparkle. ;_;

Plot Summary
As the Simpson family return from a particularly boring session of church regarding constancy, Homer and the kids decide to dump their old Christmas tree at the dump.  While they do that, Marge goes to visit Reverend Lovejoy for a talk.  There, she tells Lovejoy that she's worried the church isn't doing enough to help out.  Lovejoy then persuades her to volunteer around the church.  As she's doing chores, Lovejoy receives a call asking for advice, but the Reverend blows it off by telling the guy to simply read the bible for help.  Marge inquires why Lovejoy was so lethargic to that plea for help, and Lovejoy tells his story: in the 70s he was a fresh, go-getting Reverend who just moved to Springfield ready to make a difference.  However, right away, he has to give a young Ned Flanders advice (because Ned's butt accidentally touched another guy's butt at a dance).  Ned would constantly call Lovejoy for advice over and over through the years, mostly over trivial nonsense.  The 'constancy' of it all left the Reverend apathetic towards most things.  Disgusted over remembering all of this, he has Marge take the next call, and as it turns out, Marge is pretty good at helping others with their troubles.

Meanwhile, at the dump, Bart finds a strange box - with Japanese characters and what appears to be Homer's head on the front, which is kinda freaky.  After some investigating, Homer learns that its a box of laundry detergent called "Mr. Sparkle", a magnet of food stuffs who promises to banish dirt stuffs to the land of wind and ghosts.  Homer's investigation leads to a phone number of the factory that produces the detergent.  Someone at the factory promises to send Homer a video that will "answer question 100%".  Some time later, that video arrives, and Homer and the kids are treated to a strange commercial featuring the corporate logo being a boss, but the answer to Homer's query doesn't come until the very end of the video where its learned that Mr. Sparkle is a joint venture between a fishworks, and a manufacturing company, whose logos (a smiling fish and a light bulb, respectively) merge to form Homer's head, thus solving the mystery.

Meanwhile, Marge becomes so popular with her advice-giving that the Reverend is feeling neglected and somewhat lost.  Some time later, Marge gets her first call from Ned, who is concerned with some teenagers (Jimbo, Kearney and Dolph) hanging out near his store.  Marge advices Ned to shoo them off, but that advice backfires as the bullies, who were just about to leave, take offense to Ned's directions.  They start circling Ned with minibikes.  Ned tries to call Marge back, but Jimbo cuts the line before Marge can settle the issue.  She shrugs it off and goes on with her day.

The next morning, Maude visits and tells Marge that Ned never came home.  Marge calls Lovejoy for advice, when a rejuvenated Reverend gets a call from Ned.  Ned had been running from the bullies all night, and as the bullies take a moment to refuel their minibikes, he found a moment to tell them where he was.  The two quickly go to that spot where they learn that Ned has since ran into the zoo.  Ned is able to escape the bullies' pursuit, but in doing so finds himself in a baboon pit.  With the baboon's needing to kill him for baboon pride or whatever, all seems lost, however Lovejoy comes in on a mini-train nearby, and is able to rescue Ned, fending off a few baboons on their way out.  Lovejoy thanks Marge for helping him find his way, and the following Sunday has the Reverend telling the thrilling tale of how he beat up some monkeys to rescue Ned.

Quick Review
Season 8 just keeps rolling out superb episodes, this being the latest of them.  As if the main plot wasn't outstanding enough - particularly the dynamic between Lovejoy and Flanders - the subplot of Mr. Sparkle was outstanding as well, the commercial being the best part of the episode.

Final Score: 9.3

The Old Man and the Lisa (S08, E21-174)

Does anybody even call it Catsup anymore unless they're trying to imply its low quality?

Plot Summary
Lisa is part of a recycling group at school, trying to gather enough recyclables to earn a trip to Albany.  Principal Skinner brings in Mr. Burns as a guest speaker to talk about business decisions, however when Lisa confronts Burns about him not knowing what recycling even is, Mr. Burns realizes that he has less money than he believed.  Later, he checks his stocks for the first time in decades, and learns that, well, they aren't doing so well.  Surrounded by yes men who refuse to tell Burns he's making any mistakes, Burns tries a new investment strategy that may have had trouble working back in the 1920s, much less today.  Quickly, Burns goes broke, realizing too late he had been given advice by said yes men.  With the bank having repossessed both the plant and his home, Burns is left with no choice but to take his leave.

As the bank chooses Lenny to run the plant, Burns starts living with Smithers.  Looking to earn his keep, Burns goes shopping after Smithers goes to the plant.  A couple of clerks there notice Burns struggling to accomplish tasks, and decide to admit the seemingly senile Burns to the retirement home.

Meanwhile, the school's recycling efforts come to an abrupt end when they get back way less money than they were expecting for their efforts.  Still, Lisa attempts to recycle whenever possible.  She goes to the retirement home to get some more recyclables, where Mr. Burns overhears her voice.  Burns tasks Lisa with helping him get back on his feet, and Lisa agrees on the condition that Burns climb back doing nothing but honest work (nothing evil!).  The two agree, and Lisa starts Burns on basic recycling.

Slowly but surely, Burns is able to scourge the town for cans, bottles and paper and makes a marginal profit from doing so.  He's able to get the other seniors at the retirement home to help out as well.  As Lisa is helping him out, she is entitled to 10% of his profits and Lisa starts to believe Burns truly has changed for the better.  Burns does so well, he's able to open up a recycling factory named after Lisa.  At first Lisa is impressed with everything Burns has done, but at the back of the factory is something she isn't prepared for: taking a cue from the 'fish getting stuck in a six-pack holder' example Lisa gave him earlier, Burns has created an 'omni-net' of six-pack holders over the sea, which is able to pull in a large quantity of marine life.  Said life is then cremated into an all-purpose slurry.  This action disgusts Lisa, who realizes that Burns is still committing 'evil' even when he doesn't realize he is.  She tries to go around town to stop people from recycling, as it now helps Burns, but they've been too brainwashed by Lisa's previous efforts and continue to recycle promptly.

A short time later, Burns goes over to the Simpsons place to announce that he has sold the recycling plant for $120 million to a fishstick company, and he's repurchased the nuclear plant (thus ending Lenny's reign of terror).  As Burns' partner, Lisa is entitled to 10% of that profit.  However, knowing what Burns did with that plant, Lisa finds herself unable to accept that money.  Homer has four simultaneous heart attacks from the incident, and things only get worse from there when a recovering Homer realizes that 10% of $120 million is far, far more than $12,000.

Quick Review
Mr. Burns episodes are usually excellent watches.  Lisa-centric episodes are... less so.  Usually.  An episode where Burns' inability to adapt to modern times combine with Lisa's attempts to get people to care about modern issues turns into another fine episode, a continuing beacon of Season 8's high quality.  Burns' character goes through several changes in the episode which is handled very well, and the end of the episode is hilariously dark.

Final Score: 9.1

The Canine Mutiny (S08, E20-173)

"Remember the time he ate my goldfish, and you lied to me and said I never had
any goldfish?  Then why did I have the bowl, Bart?  Why did I have the bowl?"

Plot Summary
Marge gives Bart some junk mail after he gets no regular mail one day.  Among the junk mail is a credit card offer, which intrigues Bart.  Bart decides to apply for one and, despite him entering obviously fake credentials and the name "SANTAS LITTLE HELPER", he gets a credit card a few weeks later anyway under the name "Santos L. Halper".  He finds, though, that he can't use the card anywhere where somebody knows him, or at least knows his name isn't Santos, but he finds a catalogue, and decides to buy things from that, and he buys a ton of crap from it.  One of the final things he orders is a rarely bred, well trained $1200 collie, and as soon as the dog arrives it makes an immediately impression on Bart and the family, while Santas Little Helper is left ignored.  The collie, named Laddie, is some kind of superdog (as Homer would say), able to perform tricks and feats and such.

Soon, Bart receives a call from a collection agency, as Bart obviously never did pay off the credit card bill.  Realizing his mistake, he and Laddie go off to bury the card.  Upon their return home, the repo men have come to reclaim Bart's purchases.  They've collected all but one thing: the $1200 dog.  Panicked, Bart tells the repo man that Santa's Little Helper is the dog, and they take him away as Bart is somewhat stunned by these turn of events.

Lying that Santa's Little Helper is at a kennel two towns over while Laddie settles in, Bart begins to feel remorse for his actions.  Though the family, and the town as a whole begin to appreciate Laddie and his abilities, Bart is less impressed as the dog is and never will be Santa's Little Helper.  One day, during a walk, Laddie forces Bart to take him to rescue a baby.  As Laddie is giving a medal for his heroics, Chief Wiggum goes over to the two, openly wishing the police had a dog like that.  Bart decides to give Laddie to him as the dog just wasn't for him.  Back home, Bart tells the family that he gave Laddie to the police, and then reveals that he gave Santa's Little Helper away as well.  Homer (in an attempt to get Bart to eat dog food), convinces Bart to search for his dog, and off he goes.

At the repo station, Bart learns the the dog had been taken in by a "man in a dress".  After visiting his aunts with no luck, Bart tries Groundskeeper Willie, who is wearing a kilt.  Willie admits to having picked up the dog, but hated him so he gave him up to the church.  There, Bart learns that the dog was causing hell there, and that Reverend Lovejoy gave him to a parishioner.  Bart visits this person, seeing the dog in the backyard, but learns that parishioner is a blind man, a Mr. Mitchell.  Unwilling to talk about the dog with him, Bart takes his leave, but is still determined to get the dog back.

That night, Bart sneaks in to get the dog back, but the dog barks upon seeing Bart, alerting Mitchell.  Bart tries to run, but flees into a closet, where Mitchell locks him in, calling the police.  Bart yields and tells the man his story, and Mitchell decides to let the dog choose between him and Bart.  Santa's Little Helper chooses Bart, leaving the blind man without a companion, much to Bart's sorrow.  Just then, the police barge in, with Laddie.  As Laddie jumps on the blind man, it seems like there's a happy ending to be had.  Instead, Laddie finds a bag of pot in the man's pocket, and when Mitchell claims it to be medicinal, Wiggum advises Bart to leave as "this could take awhile".  Bart and Santa's Little Helper head for home just as more police arrive to start up to "handle" the pot situation.

Quick Review
This episode definitely has its moments, including Milhouse's line above and Homer's "dog food" line to Bart later on, and the ending had a neat little twist as well.  It all makes for another excellent episode for the season.

Final Score: 9.0

Grade School Confidential (S08, E19-172)

Lucky for the rest of us we won't ever had to worry
about being a 44 year old virgin, right?  Am I right?

Plot Summary
Martin Prince is having a birthday party, and invites everyone including his teacher Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner.  Bart and Milhouse decide to go out of boredom.  There, Krabappel and Skinner have a talk, as the two wonder how their lives have come to this.  As Skinner is hounded again by his mother, who is apparently the next door neighbor of the Princes, Edna and Seymour hide out in a tea party house Martin just happens to have.  The two come to realize their feelings for one another.  Around this time, every kid at the party gets sick, as the oysters served at the party instead of cake turned out to be pretty bad.  Bart is the only one who didn't eat those oysters (well, neither did Lisa but she faking it to leave the party), and is able to spy on something very interesting: Skinner and Krabappel kissing in the tea house.

The next day, Bart is about to spill the beans on what he saw, but Skinner is able to stop him just in time.  After failing to provide a competent "excuse" for what Bart saw, he and Edna decide to make a deal: have his sordid permanent record switched with a mostly clean file (Milhouse's), in exchange he keeps the newfound relationship secret.  Bart agrees to do so, and Edna and Seymour continue their relationship.  At first everything is fine, but things quickly turn to panic as the two are met by Superintendent Chalmers at a movie theatre.  To quickly throw off suspicion, Skinner hastily grabs and brings Barts along to fool Chalmers into thinking its some kind of field trip.  From there, both Krabappel and Skinner abuse Bart to further their love.  After an incident where Skinner has Bart 'relay' his feelings for Edna, Bart has had enough.  He gathers everyone he can in the school, and leads them to a janitorial closet.  Having everyone's faces set to 'stunned', he opens the door to reveal Skinner and Krabappel making out in the closet.

Kids are an exaggerating kind, and as they go home they tell their parents all sorts of exaggerations as to what they saw, from "seeing them naked" to seeing them "making babies, and I saw one of the babies, and the baby looked at me".  Chalmers quickly hears of the rumors, and demands that Skinner and Krabappel split up, or lose their jobs.  Skinner refuses to give up his love, and as a result he and Edna are given the end of the day to pack up and leave.

Bart feels guilt for what's happening, and decides to rectify matters.  He convinces the two to barricade themselves in the school until they get their jobs back, and is able to get the news to cover it behind a phony escaped octopus tale.  Chalmers demands the two to leave the building, and the police try their best to force them out with music and lights, but only make the scene more romantic.  With the standoff becoming more of a stalemate, the two decide to confront the masses.  As the two try to question why their love must be sacrificed just to keep their jobs, the townspeople relay the rumors their kids told them: that they were "making babies" in the closet.  Skinner furiously denies those allegations, stating (eventually) that he is still a virgin.  The townspeople realize that nobody would even try to claim himself as a 44 year old virgin unless it were true and as such the rumors must not be true, and thus lay off the two, allowing them to regain their jobs.

Afterward, the two tell Bart they're breaking up anyway given the stress of having a private relationship blown up to the public.  Just as you think the status quo had been restored, turns out the two were simply lying to Bart, and are now having their relationship under more secrecy than ever.

Quick Review
It may not look it if you don't delve too deep into the episode or its dialogue, but there's a lot of good, funny jokes in the episode that many may miss if they're not careful.  More humorous portions included Martin's party, and that period of time when Bart was being used by the two for their own lustful affairs.  Its another strong episode in a strong season.

Final Score: 9.5

Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment (S08, E18-171)

"To alcohol!  The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

Plot Summary
After a rather riotous St. Patrick's Day party that abruptly ends when Bart accidentally drinks a load of beer, getting drunk off his ass, the goody-two-shoes of the town demand Springfield undergo prohibition.  Just then, the town cleric dusts off a scroll which states that Springfield in fact passed a prohibition law 200 years ago (under punishment of catapult), and as such would still be in effect today.  Thus, much to the shock of boozehounds throughout town, Springfield becomes dry.

The new law seems devastating at first, as Duff beer is forced to close down after a failed attempt at selling non-alcoholic beer.  However, the heroes of the mafia quickly resupply Moe's with booze, easily bribing the police to stay inactive, and everything is okay.  The goody-two-shoes quickly catch wind, and after seeing Chief Wiggum having fun at Moe's, they force Mayor Quimby's hand.  He brings in Rex Banner, some kind of serious type who takes over Wiggum's position and quickly stops the beer bootlegging.

Now with prohibition actually being enforced, Homer tries to come up with a plan, when a TV report reminds him that there's a landfill of beer that was placed there following the enactment of prohibition.  He and Bart dig it up and evade the police, setting up their bootlegging business.  As Banner struggles to find out who this new "Beer Baron" is, Homer is making good money from his shady work, even impressing Marge.

However, soon Homer runs out of landfill beer, but gets an idea from Moe to make booze from scratch.  The business stays afloat for awhile, but making alcohol from scratch is more difficult than it seems, and after a few explosions Homer decides to quit while he's ahead.  A short time later, he sees Wiggum in rags, his job essentially lost when Banner came in and being forced to sell parts of his gun to feed his family.  Homer decides to help Wiggum out by letting him beat Banner at his own game.

The word quickly spreads that Wiggum "caught" the Beer Baron, and has his job reinstated, I guess.  Though Homer is happy to of helped Wiggum, it seems he was unaware of the punishment for violating prohibition.  Just before Homer is to be catapulted away, Marge makes a plea to end prohibition.  Banner tries to persuade in favor of following laws, he inadvertently enters the catapult, giving Wiggum the chance to fling him away.  A moment later, that town clerk reveals that, on the same scroll, the 200 year old prohibition law was repealed just one year later.  With the town officially wet again, Homer is freed and the mafia quickly resupply the town with the booze it oh so loves.

Quick Review
This was an enjoyable episode, watching Homer deal with prohibition and the whole "Beer Baron" scheme was well done, and having a competent man like Rex Banner be tasked with keeping the law going was a good choice as well.  A beer-focused episode allows characters like Moe and especially Barney to shine, and shine they did here.  In all, its one of Season 8's better episodes.

Final Score: 9.4

My Sister, My Sitter (S08, E17-170)

It turned out nearly exactly how Lisa imagined it would, well mostly.
She has a rather realistic imagination.

Plot Summary
Lisa become deeply interested in babysitting, and gets the word out as such, however there aren't many people interested in having an 8 year old girl babysit.  One day, though, Ned Flanders finds himself in a bind and has to ask Lisa to babysit his boys.  She does a superb job babysitting Rod and Todd, and Ned decides to recommend Lisa to others.  Quickly, Lisa starts babysitting around town, and her reputation of quality spreads like wildfire.

In the meantime, Homer and Marge learn that the town has rebuilt its Squidport, and has an opening gala on Saturday night.  Interested in attending, they - for some reason - decide to have Lisa babysit Bart and Maggie, an idea that infuriates Bart.  As a result, Bart goes out of his way to cause trouble for Lisa.  He feeds Maggie coffee ice cream and, as Lisa is distracted in trying to calm down the now hyper baby, Bart makes several phone calls for services to arrive at the house.  Lisa is able to shoo them all off, but is starting to lose her nerve.  As Bart now refuses to go to bed, Lisa tries to grab him, in the process Bart trips and falls down the stairs, dislocating his shoulder and getting a lump on his head.

Bart comes to, sees whats happened to him, and runs off to his room to 'preserve the evidence' for when their parents come home.  He attempts to make things worse by banging his head into the door, enlarging the bump on his head, and indeed he does make things worse by passing out in the process.  Lisa tries to call 911, but after several prank calls made by Bart earlier in the night, they refuse to hear Lisa out.  Lisa considers taking Bart to Dr. Hibbert, but fears that once Hibbert sees Bart's injuries, she'll be blamed and will never babysit again.  Instead, she goes to Dr. Nick, whose clinic promises complete confidentiality.  She puts Bart on a wheelbarrow and Maggie in a carrying cage and wheels them to Nick's clinic, however the lines are long and Lisa is force to look elsewhere.

Now deciding to just go to the hospital, she's stopped by Chief Wiggum, who checks the wheelbarrow to find nothing inside.  After Wiggum leaves, a stunned Lisa finds that Bart fell off the side of the wheelbarrow and into a puddle of mud.  As she goes to retrieve him, it turns out the puddle of mud is right off from where the renewed Squidport is, and everyone witnesses Lisa's antics, parents included.  Hibbert is on the scene and, like Lisa feared, is blamed for Bart's injuries, effectively ending her babysitting career.  Bart apologizes to her some time later, but as it turns out, some parents in Springfield are willing to overlook Lisa's follies in order to get a babysitter for the night.

Quick Review
This episode turns out pretty well, not one of Season 8's better episodes but its still pretty strong on its own.  The main plot had some laughs, but not too many, and the Squidport subplot was too brief to supplement the main plot any.

Final Score: 8.6

Brother from Another Series (S08, E16-169)

I'm surprised there was never an episode where Bob tries to kill Wiggum.

Plot Summary
Bart freaks out when seeing Sideshow Bob on the TV during a prison show, but despite that it turns out Bob has reformed during his latest stay in jail, and Reverend Lovejoy has helped Bob enroll in a work release program.  The person willing to help Bob out?  Bob's brother, Cecil, who had been estranged from Bob for some time but is willing to take Bob on for his work.  Though the town is furious over Bob's release, he's able to calm them by explaining that everyone should get a second chance (never mind that Bob's had several already).  Bart, however, is still suspicious.

At Cecil's apartment, Bob learns he'll be supervising the construction of a dam just outside Springfield.  As Bob notes Cecil's rather superior demeanor, he realizes that Cecil is still angry over an incident years ago that led to the estrangement.  Cecil, as it turns out, was a big fan of Krusty the Klown and wanted to be his sidekick since he was 5.  He got his big shot one day, with Bob having driven him to an audition, however Cecil messes it up and as Krusty demonstrates how to do the 'pie gag' right by having one sent Bob's way, Bob's reaction to getting hit is apparently so funny they hire Bob on the spot.  Though Cecil may still be a bit resentful over those events, he's still willing to allow Bob to work for him.

Bob's frustrations quickly mount, however.  The workers Cecil has given Bob to construct the dam are nothing but slack-jawed yokels, and Bart constantly hounds Bob wherever he goes.  Bob catches Bart (along with Lisa) snooping in a dumpster, and takes them home, claiming he won't be held responsible should he catch them again.  Regardless, Bart and Lisa head to the dam to find clues.  Bart finds a suitcase full of money, but just then Bob enters the scene.  The two escape to an inner room of the dam, where they expose Bob's supposed embezzlement.  While Bob claims he hasn't seen that money before, Cecil enters the scene.  He is the one behind the embezzlement, creating a faulty dam that he's going to blow up, which will be blamed on Bob while Cecil walks away with millions of dollars (also he plans to blow up Bob and the kids in the dam).

With the kids now finding themselves unable to foil Cecil's plan, much to Bob's displeasure, he leads the kids to an escape route.  As Bob and Lisa attempt to disarm the bomb, Bart confronts Cecil, causing him to lose his money.  Cecil is able to grab Bart, though, and toss him off the cliff.  Heroically, Bob uses the dynamite as a rope to grab Bart, then cuts the wire to prevent Cecil from activating it.  Bob and Bart fall, but 'land' on a well-placed pipe.  Bart helps Bob off of it onto a nearby stanchion, essentially saving Bob's life, and the two make amends.

The police arrive to arrest Cecil, but Chief Wiggum arrives, and absolutely refuses to believe Bob wasn't responsible, eventually talking his way into having Bob arrested for 'resisting arrest' despite Bob, Lisa, Lou the cop and even Cecil proclaiming Bob's innocence.  In frustration (and on Cecil's clever tip), Bob accidentally yells out that people will pay for this, thereby establishing himself as a villain later on.  The dam does crumble, though the damage remains minimal.  Though Wiggum theorizes that Cecil and Bob could concoct one hell of a scheme in prison, the two merely just bicker.

Quick Review
I thought this episode was interesting already in the voice casting.  Kelsey Grammer, of course, voices Bob, but also plays Frasier Crane in both Cheers and the spinoff Frasier.  In the latter, Frasier's brother is played by David Hyde Pierce who, in this episode, voices Bob's brother Cecil.  To further show the Frasier connection, the first commercial bump featured a quick bit about the show so that the audience could get that, yes, this episode has the Crane brothers from Frasier as the Terwilliger brothers on the Simpsons.  Well, I found that interesting, anyway.

I found that dynamic between the two to be a strength for this episode, as the dry wit shared between the two I found funny from time to time.  Bart's role in the episode, the slack-jawed yokels, and Chief Wiggum's deductive reasoning all help make this episode one of Season 8's best and one of the best Sideshow Bob episodes around.

Final Score: 10

Homer's Phobia (S08, E15-168)

Homer will never look at steel-crafted goods the same again.

Plot Summary
Needing $900 to pay for the gas bill following an 'incident', Marge decides she has no choice but to sell a 'priceless' Civil War figurine to cover the cost.  At an off-the-wall collectible shop, a man by the name of John informs the family that, no, the figurine is just a liquor bottle from the 70s.  Homer notices the oddities of the store, and John informs Homer about the value of camp.  Homer invites him over to the house later, and the two have a good time.  The next morning, Homer hopes he can invite John and his wife for further get-togethers, but Marge relays to Homer a rather obvious observation: John is a homosexual, a fact which horrifies Homer.

At this point, Homer refuses to talk to John, but as John invited the family for a little drive-around, everyone but Homer goes.  When the family gets back, Homer notices that Bart has picked up some of John's mannerisms, as well as some other stereotypically gay habits, and starts to fear that Bart might be turning gay on him.  He attempts to 'fix' Bart by having him stare at ladies on a cigarette billboard, but that only gets him to want to smoke slims.  Homer then takes Bart to a steel mill, but learns in terror that the entire place is run by gays, whose break time is basically partying rather hard.

At the bar, Homer laments his situation to Moe and Barney.  Moe recalls that shooting a guy in war would be a quick 'fix', but as its peacetime its not an option.  Barney instead suggests shooting a deer, as it would be like shooting a 'beautiful man'.  Homer agrees, and drags Bart along so that he can have Bart shoot a deer.

Unknown to them, the deer have moved away from those woods as the grass there had been replaced with astroturf.  After a whole day of finding no deer, Moe sees a sign for Santa's Village on the way back, and takes them there.  Homer tries to have Bart shoot a reindeer in a cage, but Bart refuses to do it.  Before long, though, the reindeer are riled up and are looking for a head-bumpin'.  Barney and Moe are able to hide, while Homer props Bart up high, taking shot after shot from the reindeer.  Just then, a Santa robot comes along and is able to shoo the reindeer away.  It turns out that John was able to find them and save the day via good timing.  Though Moe and Barney are ashamed to of been saved by a 'sissy', Homer sticks up for John, finally having warmed up to have after John saved his life.  At the end of the episode, Bart finally learns that Homer thinks Bart is gay, much to his shock.

Quick Review
As you may recall, I'm rating this episodes on a single criteria: how funny it is.  I've got the scale and everything.  I realize that this is a notable episode based on the themes it deals with, and all of that, however it has little bearing on how funny I found the episode.  How funny did I find the episode?  I found it quite funny, actually, as Homer's phobia proved to be a constant source of entertainment throughout the episode, with Barney and Moe provided additional fun near the end.

Final Score: 9.3

The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show (S08, E14-167)

"I have to go now.  My planet needs me."
Note: Poochie died on the way back to his home planet.

Plot Summary
As it turns out, nobody is bothering to watch Itchy & Scratchy anymore despite the show's continuing quality.  Roger Meyers Jr. is tasked with finding a way to get it ratings or have it removed from Krusty's show.  At a focus group featuring kids, he learns that the only 'real' problem with Itchy & Scratchy is that its characters just do not have the same impact as they used to.  Upon this realization, Meyers comes up with a solution: adding a new character.

A network executive demands the new character, a dog, to be in-your-face 90s extreme with an attitude because apparently that's what the kids want.  The dog, lethargically named "Poochie" starts making waves in the news.  As Lisa laments the purposes of these new characters, Roy pops into the scene to greet the family, having known Roy for some time somehow.  The kids suggest Homer try out to be Poochie's voice actor, given Homer has a humorous voice.  Homer decides to try out and ultimately wins the gig after showing some attitude.  The hype for the new cartoon gets pretty big, but when the cartoon premieres, it just features Poochie doing extreme 90s things like rapping, dunking a basketball and that oh-so-lovable 90s slang, while showcasing no violence at all.  The episode is nearly universally hated, with only Homer defending it given that he voices the character who is the root of the hate.

Homer attempts to solve the problem by suggesting ways to make Poochie better, but the executives have only one option to fix the cartoon: killing Poochie off.  At the voice read, Homer refuses to read his line which calls for Poochie to beg for death.  Instead, with the help of the VA for Itchy & Scratchy, Homer reads a new set of lines, apologizing to viewers, admitting that Poochie got off on the wrong foot, and requests that they give Poochie one more chance.  The read gains the approval of everyone in the room, including Meyers.  However, later on, it seems the network executives get the last word, as the new episode, rather hastily edited, has Poochie 'leaving' for his home planet, but dying on the way.  With a lawyer present, Poochie is not only dead, but legally unable to return to the cartoon at a later point (though in later Simpsons episodes he comes back anyway).  Homer, who never got paid for the work, laments the loss, as it seems like the world wasn't quite ready for Poochie - or Roy, as he takes his leave to live in an apartment with "two sexy ladies".  The cartoons return to normal, but again nobody watches them anyway.

Quick Review
A rather pointed look into the realm of cartoon decision making and perhaps an ominous predictor of what's to come, this episode still has a lot of hilarity to be had with its various parodies and sleights and such, so ends it ends up being a quality episode overall.

Final Score: 9.1

Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(d'oh)cious (S08, E13-166)

Oh that crazy Grampa!

Its official title has (Annoyed Grunt) instead of (d'oh), but really who would pronounce it like that?

Plot Summary
Marge's hair is falling out, and its because of stress.  Overworked at home, she decides to get a nanny to help around the house, and the family agrees to do so.  The search for a nanny doesn't get off to a good start, but after the kids sing a song about a perfect kind of nanny, a perfect kind of nanny knocks on the front door: Sherry Bobbins (an original creation, like "Rickey Rouse" and "Monald Muck"), who flies in via her magical umbrella.

Sherry agrees to help around the house, and her songs about cleaning up a room half-assed and Barney the boozehound quickly get the kids to love her.  Marge's hair becomes full again, and the entire family becomes rather dignified rather quickly.  Believing her job to be done, Sherry attempts to take her leave, but just moments after leaving the house, she notices the family fall into quick disarray, forcing her to stay longer (not that she could've left - Grampa took her flying umbrella by accident).

Now the family doesn't even try to bother with Sherry's advice or songs.  Its starts to get to Sherry, breaking down and resorting to alcoholism.  The family takes notice of this, and tells Sherry, through song again, that she can't help this family like she thought she could, but the family is happy just the way they are.  Sherry understands and gets the hell out of there, retrieving her umbrella from a since-fallen Grampa, and takes her leave (and then getting sucked into an airplane propeller with no one watching, haha how funny).

Quick Review
Opposite of the previous episode, I found this episode to be funnier than I remember it being.  I think part of it is that the songs featured, notably the "do things half-assed" song and "Barney the Boozehound", were quite clever and had a few humorous moments in each.  The stuff the family was watching on TV - the Krusty Komedy Klassic at first, and the other show later on - was good stuff as well, making this one of Season 8's better episodes.

Final Score: 9.2

Mountain of Madness (S08, E12-165)

"Only WHO can prevent forest fires?"  [Bart presses 'YOU']
"You pressed 'YOU', referring to me.  That is incorrect.
The correct answer is 'YOU'."

Plot Summary
Needing some excitement in his day, Mr. Burns has the plant undergo a surprise fire drill.  However, nobody at the plant is prepared for it, causing mass panic.  Eventually, more than 15 minutes later, Homer is the first to make it out of the building.  Some time later, after the plant lies in ruin, Burns laments his workers for their utter lack of teamwork.  As a result, he has everyone participate in a teamwork exercise up in the mountains.  Homer mistakenly brings his family along.

As it is a teamwork exercise, Smithers picks names out of a hat so that teams of two venture into the mountains to find a singular cabin filled with sandwiches and such, with the added incentive that the last team in gets fired.  Much to Smithers' shock, Burns is paired with Homer, who is relieved that he's on the one team that can't be fired.  Further, Smithers ends up being the last person left, and has to trek up the mountain on his own.  With that, the contest is underway.

Burns easily convinces Homer to 'cheat' their way up by use of a prepared snowmobile.  With it, they are easily the first team to the cabin.  As the two start to bond, the sharp noise of their wine glasses knocking on one another causes an avalanche to occur.  As other teams start making it to where the cabin once was, Homer and Burns attempt to get out, and do so but their jubilation causes another avalanche.

Smithers, who erroneously lets Bart and Lisa 'help' him out, is the last one to another cabin, where everyone else has gone to believing it to be the correct cabin.  It is then where its learned that both Homer and Burns are still missing, and that the cabin the teams were supposed to go to is also missing due to the avalanches.

With several more having buried the cabin further, Homer and Burns begin to suffer from cabin fever, building not snowmen, but rather 'men made out of snow', and subsequently dressing them with their own clothes.  The two then become distrustful of one another, combining with their cabin fever into full blown hostility.  Burns attacks Homer, and the battle eventually results in the cabin's propane tank igniting, turning the house into a rocket of some sort that propels it out of the snow and right next to the other cabin where everyone else is.  After everyone is relieved over the safety of Homer and Burns, Burns still reminds everyone that the exercise is still ongoing, and the rush of everyone getting in results in Lenny getting fired (though because everyone learned about teamwork, nobody got fired after all!).  Burns and Homer are relieved that everything has worked out, but their distrust for one another remains.

Quick Review
Mountain of Madness isn't as funny as I remember it being.  Sure, there are some quality bits, like the fire drill, Bart using that Smokey the Bear lookalike, Smithers' trek up the mountain.  However, the jokes die down a bit near the end of the episode and the score suffers a bit as a result.

Final Score: 8.5

The Twisted World of Marge Simpson (S08, E11-164)

The "Whitey-Whackers", contributing to a dark day in baseball.

Plot Summary
Marge is a member of the "Springfield Investorettes", a group that includes Helen Lovejoy, Maude Flanders, Agnes Skinner, Edna Krabappel and Luann Van Houten.  The group seems to have made a wise investment previously, but now want to take those profits and invest in a small business.  Marge is the only one of the group to oppose the idea, and because it was apparently a final straw, the group kicks Marge out.  Later, Marge is convinced by her family that she should invest in a business herself to show the Investorettes what she can do.

Marge goes to a franchising expo, but is initially unable to find something that suits her.  She's discouraged further when the Investorettes take interest in a Pita stand, something Marge might have possibly of thought about taking an interest in.  Just then, a man at a Pretzel Wagon stand is able to convince Marge to start up a pretzel business.

Although marketing and making the pretzels aren't difficult, selling them is a whole different game.  An attempt to sell that at the power plant, with Homer's help, fails when the Investorettes' Pita van steals her customer base.  Faulty coupon creation coupled with an incident at a baseball game where all of her sampler pretzels are wasted to be thrown at Mr. Burns (and later Whitey Ford), Marge gives up.  Unwilling to see Marge like this, Homer decides to help.  He tries to contact the Pretzel Wagon guy, but he has died in a car accident.  Out of options, Homer decides to ask the mafia for aid.

The mafia is quick to work, sabotaging non-pretzel food options in Springfield, including the Pita van.  Marge's sales go through the roof, blissfully unaware of the mafia's hand in it.  Soon, though, Fat Tony tries to collect from Homer, but when Homer escapes, he goes after Marge instead, giving her 12 hours to cough up all of the profits from her pretzel sales.  After Marge and Homer come to an understanding over what happened, they confront the mafia the next morning, refusing to give in.  Just before the mafia advances on them, the Investorettes appear, having 'caught on' to Marge's 'game', and hired a mafia of their own: the Japanese Yakuza.  As the two mobs engage in battle, the Simpson couple retreat into the house to avoid getting caught in the middle.  Good times.

Quick Review
This episode has its moments, like Skinner's supposed "boaking" accident, or the scene at the baseball game.  The mafia and its battle with the Yakuza was a superb way to the end the episode as well.  Still, besides those moments there wasn't too much funny going on, with a few other good jokes here and there.

Final Score: 8.9

The Springfield Files (S08, E10-163)

"The following tale of alien encounters is true, and by true
I mean false.  It's all lies, but they're entertaining lies,
and in the end isn't that the real truth?  The answer is no."

Plot Summary
Leonard Nimoy introduces this episode's tale: its Friday, evidenced by several gags that prove as such.  Homer goes to the bar that night and gets drunk on some dog-infused beer.  Too drunk to drive, Homer decides to walk home, but gets lost along the way stumbling into a forested area.  Freaked out by several scary occurrences, Homer stumbles and sees a strange glowing creature, perhaps an alien, bringing love.  The act causes Homer to run away in terror.

Homer tries to tell his tale to others, but nobody will believe him.  News of Homer's story reaches the FBI, where Agents Mulder & Scully (of The X-Files show that FOX had been airing at the time) decide to investigate further.  However, Homer isn't able to identify the alien amongst the ones the FBI have in stock, and an attempt to locate the alien in the forest only yields Grampa, so the two Agents give up, leaving Homer back where he started in terms of credibility.  That night, Bart reveals that he believes Homer's story, because Homer is "so damn sure" he saw an alien.  Rejuvenated, Homer decides to go back to the forest next Friday to see it again.  He and Bart camp out that night, and indeed see the alien again.  Though Homer botches a greeting by stepping in the campfire, forcing the alien to flee, Bart is able to videotape it, giving the two the proof they need.  Nimoy concludes the tale there, but the episode still has 10 minutes to go.  Ol' Spock finds someway to run from his obligation anyway.

Some time later, footage of the alien is sold (or given, probably given) to the news, and that it'll likely reappear on Friday night again.  The forested area has a huge turnout that night, and indeed the alien pops up once more.  However, given Springfield's mob mentality, they advance to attack the alien.  Just then, Lisa (who had been skeptical the entire episode), reveals the true identity of the 'alien': Mr. Burns.  Smithers arrives on the scene to explain that, every Friday night, Burns undergoes a series of treatments - including severe chiropractic procedures, painkillers, and a vocal scraping - that leave Burns twisted, disoriented, and well-meaning.  The glow is attributed to Burns' years working at the nuclear plant.  Just as Burns comes down from his painkiller high, Dr. Nick gives Burns a booster shot, renewing his ecstasy and leads the town in a joyous song.

Quick Review
Its odd that nobody gives this episode flack for crossing over with the X-Files while A Star is Burns is criticised for being a crossover of a different show.  Was it because the X-Files was popular and therefore crossing over with it was okay?  Odder yet was that this episode was guest-written by Al Jean & Mike Reiss, who wrote The Critic, the show crossed over from A Star is Burns.  To find little criticism for this episode after the criticism that occurred for the other episode seems rather odd to me.  Odd.

As for the episode itself, well, it actually ends up being one of the best episodes in the series, oddly enough.  Leonard Nimoy's appearance was well done, the Friday night gags were great, and the references to X-Files and other alien-related things were good as well.  The story behind the 'alien' was hilarious, particularly Dr. Nick's line "the best part was when he gave me my money".  In all, a superb episode, another shining moment in what has been an excellent season thus far.

Final Score: 10

El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer (The Mysterious Voyage of Homer) (S08, E09-162)

"Well, sure, buddy, I'd be happy to help out. What can I do-diddily-
doodily-diddly-hobbily-hibbily-gobbily-gobbily-gobble-gabba-gabba-hey!"

Plot Summary
Homer eventually learns that there's an annual chili-cookoff being held right now, despite Marge's best efforts to prevent him from knowing.  She recalls the cookoff from last year, when Homer became embarrassingly drunk, and makes Homer promise not to drink at this year's cookoff, which Homer agrees to.

The two quickly separate at the cookoff, allowing Homer to go to work.  Homer is apparently a big shot at these cookoffs, as chili cooks fear his iron tongue and wooden spoon (said to of been carved from a bigger spoon).  He starts the day off fine, criticizing several bland entries, but then walks upon Chief Wiggum's entry, a special batch of chili made just for Homer.  This chili has been infused with, as Wiggum puts it, "The Merciless Peppers of Quetzlzacatenango! Grown deep in the jungle primeval by the inmates of a Guatemalan insane asylum".  Homer attempts to eat a pepper, but it burns even his tongue, forcing him to run for drinks, but after Marge prevents him from gushing down beer, Homer settles for plain old water to cool his tongue.  Now the laughing stock of the cookoff, he gets the idea to put melted wax in his tongue, thereby preventing it from feeling the heat of the pepper.  He goes back to Wiggum and, to the astonishment of all, gulps down several peppers effortlessly.  Though Homer once again becomes a chili legend, his stomach doesn't take the peppers very well.  Indeed, the peppers live up to their name, and Homer begins to have hallucinations, causing him to run off in a panic.

Marge learns of this when Helen Lovejoy gossips Homer's chaotic departure to her.  Believing Homer broke him promise and drank, she leaves the cookoff furious.  Meanwhile, Homer's hallucinations 'bring' him to a strange fantasy world, an endless desert.  After a tortoise eventually leads him to a pyramid-like structure, he is met by a space coyote, who sends Homer on a quest: to find his soulmate.  When Homer notes that Marge is his soulmate, the coyote questions whether that's actually the case, then departs.  After a 'ghost train' makes a run at Homer, he finally snaps out of it - waking up in a sand pit at a golf course the next morning -  and learns that the 'dream' took elements around him i.e. the sand pit as the desert, the pyramid-shaped pro shop as the pyramid, and the talking dog as the talking coyote.

Homer returns to his house where Marge is still very angry.  She refuses to believe Homer's story of having 'went to a strange fantasy world', and snaps at him when he suggest she's his 'soulmate'.  That night, Homer sees that he and Marge have little in common, and realizes that she can't be his soulmate.  He leaves the house in search for that person.  After trips to the bar and elsewhere prove fruitless, Homer stumbles upon the lighthouse, and hopes that an "Earl" stationed there will be his soulmate; Earl however is just a machine with the name being an acronym.  Frustrated, Homer suddenly hears a cargo boat coming in.  Believing that someone on that boat will be his soulmate, Homer destroys the light, in hopes of having the boat crash, revealing Homer's soulmate.  Just then, Marge appears, having found Homer based on several of his tendencies.  As the two talk, Homer realizes that Marge is, in fact, his soulmate.  After sticking it to that space coyotes, the two quickly work to get the lighthouse back in order, allowing the boat just enough time to avoid crashing into the lighthouse, instead tearing up on a rock nearby revealing its precious cargo: hot pants.  Regardless, Homer and Marge find renewed love and kiss one another in front of the light.

Quick Review
This episode starts off really strong with the chili cookoff and even Homer's fantasy world bit, a lot of good stuff happens with these two plots.  The episode does slow down a bit once Homer's actual soulmate quest begins, and the opportunity for laughs die down until the hot pants boat comes into play.  Still, its another great episode in Season 8.

Final Score: 8.6

Hurricane Neddy (S08, E08-161)

"Come on in!  It's your master bedroom!"

Plot Summary
A hurricane is coming towards Springfield.  Apparently, Springfield is at a spot where that can happen.  After the mad rush for emergency supplies occur, Homer has everyone go into the cellar to hide (aka the "Grampa" drill).  After some time, the hurricanes finally passes though.  Miraculously, the Simpson home is left mostly unscathed, as is the case with nearly every other home in town with one notable exception: Ned Flanders, whose home was completely demolished, with only the family and the family tombstones surviving the devastation.

The house wasn't insured, as Ned considers insurance 'a form of gambling', so that's a major loss.  As the Flanders family heads to a rescue shelter at the church,  they learn to their dismay that robbers and looters and focused their attention on Ned's Leftorium shop, creating another major loss.  Ned can't even flip a page in the Holy Bible without cutting his finger.  Ned wants to scream out, but finds himself unable to.

The next day, Marge visits the Flanders with big news: the townsfolk has pitched in and worked together to rebuild Ned's home.  At first the family is impressed and grateful, however as they tour the home it becomes apparently, especially upstairs, that the house (built by Springfield townspeople, mind you) is poorly constructed and barely livable.  After the tour is done and everybody is outside the house, it collapses upon itself.  Its the last straw for Ned, who goes on a tirade against any and everybody he comes in contact with.  He then leaves angrily, driving away on his own to a mental institution to have himself committed.

A nurse catches wind of this and contacts one Dr. Foster, who is familiar with Ned.  When the two meet again, some backstory is shown: Ned's parents, previously revealed as beatniks, refuses to punish a young Ned, who as a result is a violent, unruly child.  Having tried nothing and running out of ideas, the two seek Dr. Foster's help, who comes up with an experimental plan: spanking Ned non-stop for eight months.  The method works too well: Ned is no longer capable of expressing anger, speaking gib-diddly-berish whenever he would otherwise be upset.  Realizing Ned needs to healthily release his anger, Dr. Foster brings in the one person Ned can't stand the most: Homer.

The doctor prepares some statements for Homer to say to Ned, including "past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent" and "I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other", but Ned isn't bothered by this.  Instead, Homer tries to get Ned to admit he just likes everything, but after a short ramble, Ned blurts out that he hates the post office... and also his 'lousy beatnik' parents.  Realizing that Ned is now capable of expressing anger without expressing too much anger, Dr. Foster proclaims Ned 'cured', and Ned meets a joyous town outside, though this new Ned won't be taking anybody's nonsense anytime soon.

Quick Review
This is one of Season 8's best episodes.  The hurricane bit that started the show, the showing of Ned's shoddy new home, Ned's meltdown on everybody including poor Lenny, and Homer's 'conversation' with him were all excellent moments in this episode, providing a hilarious stream of jokes from beginning to end.

Final Score: 10

Lisa's Date with Density (S08, E07-160)

Its like Lisa almost wanted Milhouse to get hurt.
Milhouse isn't helping his own cause, though.

Plot Summary
After the "H" on Superintendent Chalmer's Honda is stolen, Skinner does a search of every student's locker, ultimately finding it in Nelson Muntz's locker along with several other stolen items.  As Nelson is forced to return those items, Lisa chides Nelson for his behavior, while Nelson is further punished by being given a week's worth of janitorial work.  Later, during music class, Lisa spies Nelson pulling a prank on Willie, which she finds funny.  The laughter is misconstrued by the teacher, and Lisa is given detention.  After Nelson pops in to give Lisa tips on making detention less taxing, Lisa takes a moment to look at Nelson, realizing in momentary disgust that she's developing a crush on Nelson.

Meanwhile, Homer finds an auto-dialer tossed away by the police after a telemarketing raid.  Despite seeing the consequences of such actions first-hand, Homer takes the auto-dialer anyway and sets up a "Happy Dude" scheme, calling everyone in town in hopes of them giving Homer $1 each under the promise of "eternal happiness".  The plan starts off modestly, though at night the auto-dialer is set to redial on Flanders' number non-stop.

Lisa blurts her newfound crush to Milhouse, and has him deliver a message to Nelson: "guess who likes you".  Nelson mistakes it as a message from Milhouse, and promptly annihilates him.  Afterward, Lisa admits to Nelson that she was the one who wrote the message, and in an attempt to get him to like her has him visit her house (and later vice versa).  Nelson proves to be more difficult than Lisa anticipates, but Marge advises her to keep at it.

Lisa dresses Nelson up, and the two have a date up near the observatory.  Lisa tries to start up a conversation, but Nelson tires of it and 'shuts her up' with a kiss.  He comes to like it, though, and Lisa starts to believe her plan of changing Nelson is working.  Just then, Nelson's bully friends - Jimbo, Kearney and Dolph - appear and chide Nelson for his newfound feeling.  They found some expired cole slaw they want to sling at Skinner's house, and while Nelson does want to get back at Skinner, with Lisa around he refuses to go, much to Lisa's pleasure.

Later that night, after Lisa went home, Nelson meets up with the bullies at Skinner's house and throws cole slaw at it anyway.  The group is forced to disperse when the police arrive.  Nelson runs to the Simpson house to get help from Lisa, claiming they're after him for no reason, and she helps him flee.  The police arrive at the Simpson house, and open fire.  The target: the auto-dialer, which was annoying even Chief Wiggum.  The police then force Homer to come to court.  Elsewhere, the auto-dialer diversion allows Lisa and Nelson to escape, but Nelson blurts out that he was, in fact, causing mischief at Skinner's place.  Lisa finally realizes that she can't change Nelson, and two split up on relatively good terms.  Milhouse learns of this quickly and is overjoyed, while some time later, Homer uses the auto-dialer to send a court-mandated apology to everyone, while at the same time hoping they send $1 to "Sorry Dude".

Quick Review
While the Lisa and Nelson plot was okay on its own, Homer's auto-dialer subplot was superb, and both Skinner's and Milhouse's few appearances in the episode were worth several laughs as well.

Final Score: 9.2

A Milhouse Divided (S08, E06-159)

"I'll be back!  Pro- probably."

Plot Summary
Tired of the drudgery of everyday life, Marge decides to host a dinner party, and invites the Flanders, Hibberts, Lovejoys and Van Houtens.  The dinner, however, quickly turns sour as the Van Houtens, Kirk and Luann, have no qualms about insulting one another in front of company.  The tension only increases after dinner, when a game of pictionary goes wrong.  Luann finally has enough and announces she wants a divorce.

Later, Milhouse gets some sympathy from the school's bullies, all having dealt with divorce in one way or another.  While Luann enjoys her newfound single life, having already found an American Gladiator boyfriend, Kirk has been kicked out of the house and loses his job at the cracker factory for no longer being a family man.  After Homer turns down an invite from Marge to go with Luann to a play, Homer spends time with Kirk, hearing Kirk regret not caring for Luann throughout their marriage, lamenting that instead of enjoying his wife's dinner every night, he now has to thaw hot dogs in a sink.  Homer tells Kirk that will never happen to him, but later on he returns home very late, and sees that Marge left Homer... hot dogs thawing in the sink.

Depressed that he may be in Kirk's position as well, Homer recalls his wedding with Marge to be subpar at best.  He attempts to make it up the next day, but his well intentioned efforts do not help any.  Realizing that Marge needs a 'fresh start', Homer makes a tough decision and files for divorce.

That night, Homer calls for Marge in the dark.  When she arrives and turns on a light, she is met with surprise as a group of people are in the room for what Homer has planned to be a second wedding, using the divorce to ensure the wedding as legit.  The wedding goes off beautifully, and the two are more in love than ever.  The two Van Houtens are there, and as Kirk sees this, he attempts to win back Luann, but she promptly denies his efforts and her boyfriend shows him the door.

Quick Review
In truth, A Milhouse Divided was a bit short on laughs compared to other episodes thus far in the season, as some focus was given to the marriage and divorce plots that were developed.  Still, the quality of the jokes that were there were top notch and the divorce story does not detract from the comedy of the episode.

Final Score: 8.8