Moonshine River (S24, E01-509)

REFERENCES!  YYYYEAH!

Plot Summary
After a failed attempt at running events, Springfield hosts some kind of ball, where Bart makes fun of Lisa and Milhouse who are dancing together.  While Lisa isn't particularly pleased to be with Milhouse, she does have a date, something which Bart lacks.  In fact, Lisa reminds Bart that he can't hold a girlfriend any longer than a week, as once they learn the 'real' Bart Simpson they always leave him.  Stunned by these realizations, Bart decides to try and prove Lisa wrong by showing that at least one of his old girlfriends still like him.  After three such girls adamantly prove they don't, and a fourth too bipolar to figure out, Bart's down to his last option: Mary Spuckler, whom Bart had befriended but only got into a relationship with to save a cow.  He visits Cletus, but the slack-jawed yokel admits that Mary ran off some time earlier after being forced to wed another hillbilly, but neither he nor Brandine know where.  One of Mary's brothers knows, though, and privately tells Bart she went to New York City, even giving him an address.  Bart tries to convince his parents to go, but Homer tries to remember the last time the family went to New York (although Homer now remembers it differently, perhaps blocking out what really happened).  Still, a bit later, Homer decides to take Bart and the family there, having tricked a family from New York into swapping their house with Flanders' home for a couple of weeks.

After arriving in New York, Marge and Lisa go off on their own to embrace the city's culture on a budget (in other words, doing nothing).  Homer takes Bart to the address Mary's brother gave him, and as Homer takes his leave, Bart meets up with a drastically different-looking Mary.  Mary reveals she's gotten some experience in writing in New York and she's happy both to be in New York and to see Bart again, just so long as she doesn't get found out.  The two spend some time together, and are about to share a kiss, but Cletus comes out of nowhere to find Mary and take her home.  Mary is able to sneak off with Bart a short time later, though, and is able to hitch a train to an unknown location.  While she's forced to be away from Bart once again, she does admit she likes him.  Because of that, Bart refuses to tell Cletus where Mary is going, and Cletus gives up.  On the way home, Cletus gives Bart a picture with Mary in it, while Marge and Lisa - the latter staging a Shakespeare play after a scheduled one had been cancelled only to be met by police for essentially "occupying" the theater - somewhat lament their difficulties.

Quick Review
Self-reference: the episode.  So many guest stars, too, equaling Homer at the Bat with ten guest spots.  Unlike that episode, where each guest played a pivotal part in that episode's plot, Moonshine River's guests were often cameos.  The guests who played Bart's four previous girlfriends got in a single line or phrase and that was it.  Al Roker had no reason to be there outside of a gag.  Kevin Michael Richardson's been voicing somebody in lots of episodes recently, none of which had any impact in their respective episodes.  What I'm trying to say is, aside from Zooey Deschanel, who voices Mary, most of the guest cast in this episode was fairly pointless.

Going back to my first point, this episode is also full of self references, but they are only that.  Never mind that Homer hated New York in Season 9 because it was a scum hole when he was younger and still wasn't perfect back in the late 90s, suddenly Homer is more than fine with the sketchier side of the city.  The 'reference' of the Klauh Karesh vendor who now owns a giant restaurant was pointless, too.  The episode also references that, yeah, Bart has had several girlfriends, but its odd the episode would focus on a girl whom Bart wasn't particularly fond of in her original episode.  Writers can't even references episodes from just a few years ago correctly now.

So, you take all of that poor referencing, an unfunny main plot involving Bart being liked by a girl, and the lame side plot with Marge and Lisa, and it makes for a very underwhelming episode.  This episode actually scores a little better than that as some of the jokes were pretty decent, but its still nothing good.

Final Score: 6.4

Stealing First Base (S21, E15-456)

When one assumes the role of Bart Simpson, one must assume all of the risks.

Plot Summary
Mrs. Krabappel is away for a few days, but as the school can't afford a substitute, her 4th grade class merges with the other 4th grade for the interim.  As Nelson ends up befriending a blind boy, the adventures of which are touched upon throughout the episode, Bart sits next to Nikki, a girl whom Bart is able to befriend.  Bart also has feelings for her, but going to Homer yields no advice other than to talk to Grampa about women.  So, Bart gets advice from Grampa to 'steal' a kiss from Nikki to gauge how interested she really is toward him.  The next day, Bart does so, but Nikki is left disgusted by the act.  Soon, Nikki's parents, both of whom are uptight lawyers, threaten to sue both the school and Bart's parents if measures aren't taken to prevent PDAs at the school.  Superintendent Chalmers and Principal Skinner are forced to comply, and Homer and Marge are forced to prevent Bart from seeing Nikki again.  However, once the ban is in place, Nikki sees and subsequently kisses Bart herself, confusing the hell out of him.  Still, he doesn't mind kissing, and the two are together again, I guess.

Meanwhile, Lisa is given an F on her test.  As she begins to think about doomsday scenarios, she starts noticing people are starting to like her because of the F she got.  However, Ms. Hoover tells Lisa in front of everyone that the F was actually for Ralph and Lisa actually got an A+++.  Now everyone hates her again.  Lisa complains about it on her organic gardening blog where she gets a rather quick reply to keep in good spirits from a "Flotus1".  Some time later, a helicopter flies in, revealing the first lady of the United States - Michelle Obama (voiced by someone else, though).  Michelle points out Lisa, as 'Flotus' is an acronym for "First Lady of the United States" and therefore is an avid follower of Lisa's blog, and tells everyone not to mess with the academics because they'll rule the world when they grow up and you don't want to be on their list.

As the helicopter leaves, Bart and Nikki are on the roof, and while they enjoyed that moment, Bart tries to imply the two are a couple, which Nikki can't stand the thought of.  Bart has enough and tries to leave before she hurts him, but bumps into an air duct and falls off the building.  He's unconscious and having trouble breathing, but nobody in the school can give Bart CPR because of the ban on PDAs.  Nikki makes her way towards Bart anyway and gives him CPR anyway, saving Bart's life maybe.  The ban on PDAs is lifted, and Nikki remains hot and cold to Bart, who still has no idea what's going on.

Quick Review
So, this was a poor episode.  It really gives off a, I dunno, a feeling of disconnect.  Between Michelle Obama appearing telling kids to be friends with the smart kids, to the Itchy & Scratchy movie cartoon fully parodying a 'deep' cult movie, to the cliched main storyline complete with oversensitive lawyer parents, the entire episode seemed really out of place even compared to other episodes of this season, and it was difficult finding anything even worth a smirk, Nelson's tertiary story and Grampa's appearance being the closest things to humor there was.

Final Score: 5.7