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| Bart... might have a fetish I wasn't aware of until now. |
Lisa is vexed over a report on her family's heritage as her family's heritage is absolutely boring. Frustrated, Lisa decides instead to make up a Native American heritage about herself, claiming herself to be from the "Hitachi" tribe. The report does so well in school, she's asked to give it again at city hall. A panicked Lisa does so later, even being confronted by a Native American reporter whom she's barely able to make content. Later, Lisa is asked to give a presentation about her supposed tribe at a Native American convention at Capitol City, where she finally gives up and reveals her lies. At first she is chided, but when she is instead praised for her courage, other Native stand up and reveal they aren't really Native Americans, either.
Meanwhile, a fire break outs throughout town, including near the school where Principal Skinner learns that someone has taken all of the fire extinguishers. On the outskirts of town, Bart has those extinguishers, planning to use them as propulsion for his wheelbarrow. It works rather well as Bart zoom through town, and as an added benefit the extinguishers also take care of the nearby fires across town. Bart is heralded as a hero and Mayor Quimby offers Bart any one thing he wants, and Bart decides to get a legitimate driver's license.
Bart has fun with his license at first, but Homer starts bugging Bart to do all kinds of errands and creepily odd tasks for him. Bart finally has enough and gets away from Springfield for awhile, driving all the way to North Haverbrook. There, he applies his charms and actually gets a girl to go with him. The somewhat older girl, Darcy, buys Bart's crazy explanation as to why he seems so young, and the two go on dates and kiss and stuff. One day, though, Darcy offers a couple of bombshell: she wants to marry him, or else they break up. Bart reluctantly goes to the marriage office to get a marriage license, but when he tries to back away by revealing he actually is ten years old, Darcy reveals another bombshell: she's pregnant with another guy's baby.
Bart really tries to back out now, but Darcy reveals that her parents are strict about marriage, and that if she had the baby without a husband, they'd kill her. Bart gives up and the two go to a state where marriage laws are loose enough for them to marry: Utah. Eventually, both Bart's and Darcy's parents catch wind of this and find them at a chapel about to get married. Darcy's parents reveal that her mother is also pregnant and that they can pass Darcy's baby off as a twin to that, so there's no need for Bart to marry. Bart is relieved, and the two break up on good terms.
Quick Review
It was another less-than episode for the season. Nothing all that bad, but nothing all that funny, either. Lisa's story was the best the episode had to offer, but it was pretty washed aside once it focused on Bart and Darcy's plot.
Final Score: 6.2
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