Love is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-H3-CH4 (S27, E13-587)

Comic book guy writes an episode where he pretends he's Frink for some reason.png

Plot Summary
Its Valentine's Day, and Mr. Burns via a misunderstanding hosts a Valentine's Day party for his employees and their significant others.  Among those attending is Professor Frink, who works at the plant as a consultant, but is one of the few people there without a date.  Homer eventually gets a call from Grampa who complains that he's alone and that the death-stalking cat that lives there is paying him a visit, so Homer and Marge go to visit him.  At the retirement home, all of the seniors are depressed, until the nurse these gives everyone a new drug which makes the seniors hallucinate all of their former loves.  This includes Grampa, who hallucinates Mona back when Grampa still liked her.

The next day, Homer finds Frink still at the plant, the professor having spent the night wallowing in despair.  Homer tries to lift Frink's spirits by noting dating is nothing but trial and error - like the scientific method.  Adequately lifted, Frink goes to find a way to make himself desirable to women.  This includes ditching his glasses for contacts, height-raising shoes and - most importantly - a computer chip which changes his voice into something not nearly as nerdy.  After testing these modifications successfully on a female-like android he suddenly has, Frink is quickly and easily able to find dates - tons and tons of dates.  He notices that other men aren't as lucky as he has become and starts to come up with a plan.

Meanwhile, Marge visits the retirement home again and sees its seniors still hallucinating under the drug.  Marge confronts the nurse there over the drug and eventually relents.  Soon enough, the seniors are back to being lonely and depressed, but Grampa finds the stash of the remaining pills and binges on them, fully taking him to a hallucinated 50's world.  Eventually, Marge, Bart and Lisa pull him back to reality.

Soon after that, Frink invites all of the ladies he's dated to the planetarium under the belief he's going to pick one of them to date solo.  However, Frink - back in his goggles and 'normal' voice - reveals his true plan: having matched up the single men in Springfield with all of the single women he had been dating, though this leaves only him without a match.  Still, he finds looking out at the stars with his android girl (and her android mother whom Frink built for some reason) good enough.  Also Grampa flushed the remaining pills into the toilet, likely contaminating the water supply, meaning everyone can hallucinate that its the 50s, now.

Quick Review
This episode was pretty boring, nothing particularly funny happened.  Frink, usually a decent character for gags and such, is given focus on an episode for the first time and it doesn't work out especially in the episode's second half.  The sidestory with Grampa and the hallucinations was just weird and again failed to deliver anything of humor in the latter portion of the episode.  This episode isn't worth your time.

Final Score: 5.9

Specs and the City (S25, E11-541)

Behold!  The sex of tomorrow... today!

Plot Summary
In December, Mr. Burns somehow becomes 'nice' to his employees by giving them a decent Christmas gift: glasses that look and operate somewhat like Google Glass because that's the hip new thing the writers probably liked 10 months ago when writing this episode, but aren't called that here because of copyrights I guess, so I'm just gonna call them Googles.

Anyway, Burns predictably has a sinister plot behind this: all of the Googles have been rigged with surveillance cameras so that Burns can keep an eye on everyone at all times.  Still, the employees all love the Googles, Homer especially.  Bringing his Google antics home, Homer begins to annoy Marge with his overuse of the Googles, even interfering with their snuggle time.  That's the last straw for Marge, and Homer regrets what he's done.  To make up for it, he gives up his Googles to anybody in the family who would have them.  Surprisingly, Marge is the one who claims them, stating that for once, she gets to keep the neat fun thing.

Soon, though, Homer regrets giving up his Googles, and goes to Mr. Burns office to plead for another pair.  Burns isn't around, though, and Homer notices the surveillance system his boss set up.  Homer is intrigued with all of his co-workers activities, but takes notice with the monitor for him - as its the camera currently focused on his former Googles that Marge is now wearing.

After a couple of 'false alarms' for cheating, and Homer successfully warding off an incompetent Burns, Homer watches Marge go to a clinic for therapy.  Stunned, Homer goes to Moe's for advice, and the barkeep tells Homer to confront Marge, but do so in an 'accidental' manner to avoid her wrath, doing so by setting up an appointment to the same therapist right after Marge.  Homer believes this to be a good idea, and does just that.  However, at the office, Homer sees Marge (she doesn't see him), and is ready to make a move, but realizes that Marge actually, really, needs the therapy as she's a wreck just before but a ball of joyous happiness after.  Thus, Homer leaves her be, and goes home to reap the benefits of a post-therapy Marge.

While this is all happening, Bart is being forced by his school to give Valentine's Day cards to everyone in class, citing the pampered state of today's kids and such.  However, Bart refuses to give a card to Nelson, given that Nelson's a bully and all.  Slighted, Nelson forces Bart to give him a card anyway, or face his wrath.  Frustrated, Bart eventually gives Nelson a "I fear you" card, stating his true feelings towards Nelson, which the young man takes to heart.

Quick Review
Well, after the last episode and given the previews for this one, this turned out better than what I expected.  Its not a great episode by any means, with not too many good jokes and the side plot was too short to be of any worth, but this wasn't a bad episode, either.

Final Score: 7.0

Love, Springfieldian Style (S19, E12-412)

Violence is the hottest turn on.

Plot Summary
Its Valentine's Day, and Homer takes Marge to a carnival under the idea that with the kids busy with the carnival, he can spend some alone time with Marge.  The two try to make out in a tunnel of love, but Bart sabotages it by throwing in a barrel full of Jello, essentially halting the ride.  Stuck, Homer decides to get Marge back in the mood by telling a love story.

Bonnie and Clyde
Bonnie Parker (Marge) feels the need for the dangerous outlaw life, and gets it from Clyde Barrow (Homer), who hook up after Clyde robs a store (that he co-owns).  Clyde realizes that Bonnie gets turned on by crime, and so the two of them rob bank after bank for the purpose of hot crime-fueled sex.  After one robbery, though, Clyde's car breaks down, but they get help from an unwitting driver (Flanders), who helps them escape despite not knowing who they are or what they do.  Eventually, the clueless man does figure they're robbers and, worse yet, they're in a marriage-less relationship.  The man goes to the police and he helps lead Bonnie and Clyde into a trap, where the two are shot to death.  In the present time, the story fails to impress Marge.
Individual Score: +0.4

Shady and the Vamp
With the kids meeting up with Homer and Marge, demanding they be told a love story, Marge decides to tell a parody of Lady and the Tramp.  "Shady" (Homer) is an alley mutt, who finds the classy dog Vamp (Marge) highly attractive, and is able to convince her to go on a date.  After a romantic dinner, Shady is able to bang Vamp, but the next morning Vamp shows signs she's pregnant, and Shady makes a run for it.  Vamp believes Shady will return, and Shady vows to return, but he never does, and Vamp gives birth to puppies.  These two puppies (Bart and Lisa) wish to find Shady, and despite Vamp's complete disregard for Shady now, the two go out to search for him.  Shady sees the two and tries to hide from them, but then sees them captured by a dog catcher (Willie), and decides to rescue them.  He attacks the dog catcher and is able to free the two puppies as well as a Goofy knockoff.  He brings them back to Vamp and promises to stay with her, and the puppies, even though Vamp reveals she actually gave birth to nine other puppies as well.
Individual Score: +0.1

Sid and Nancy
Bart tries to make things interesting by telling a love story of his own: the ever-happy tale of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen!  Nancy (Lisa) is in London with her "boyfriend" (Milhouse), when she hears the Sex Pistols playing.  She quickly becomes enamored with the band's guitarist (Nelson; the other members are Jimbo, Dolph and the leader, Bart).  She buys "chocolate" in an attempt to get close to Sid, and the plan works out as the two share some "chocolate" together.  The two then spend days, weeks, months hanging out together on "chocolate" binges.  Sid gets so high on "chocolate", he can barely do anything.  It reaches a boiling point in a Sex Pistols concert in Texas, where Sid's "chocolate" high leaves him unable to perform.  The leader chides Sid for it, but Nancy has enough and gets Sid to quit the group.  The two attempt to go on their own with anti-rock soft music, but when that doesn't pan out the two just live out their lives on their continued chocolate addiction.
Individual Score: +0.0

Quick Review
So, this was a pretty forgettable episode.  The Bonnie and Clyde segment was okay, but nothing special.  The dog one would be alright except there really wasn't anything that funny about it.  The jokes in the final segment were hit or miss, and pretty much cancelled each other out.  It all combines to make a rather poor episode, continuing a string of low quality that is really hurting this season.

Final Score: 5.9

I'm With Cupid (S10, E14-217)

Its very clearly a star yet nobody recognizes it as such.

Plot Summary
Marge goes out to the Kwik-E-Mart late to build Bart's project (which Nelson ruins later on), and checks up on Apu's relationship with his new wife, Manjula, but Apu only mentions that she understands that Apu has to work at the Kwik-E-Mart nearly non-stop, though Apu does invite Marge and Homer over to his apartment for dinner.  At that dinner, Marge blurts out that, no, most American men do not work every day like Apu and, no, nobody works for 18 hours a day like Apu.  Angered that Apu cares more about work than her, Manjula gets into an argument with Apu, forcing the two Simpsons to leave for the night.

The next day, Homer catches Apu at wit's end over his relationship with his wife, but realizes that its only a week away to Valentine's Day, and decides to go all out on rekindling his relationship with her.  He puts out a note, in public, that he will do an act of love for Manjula every day up to Valentine's Day.  The acts are indeed extravagant, from a carriage ride to Apu covering himself in chocolate, to a singing parrot informing Manjula that she's invited to go to an opera with Apu.  These acts of love make taken women across Springfield jealous, and even upset that their men are cheapskates.  The men across town, including Homer, have had enough of Apu's antics and in response decide to find a way to sabotage Apu's final act of love (rather than, you know, do romantic things for their women instead).

A strike team is created consisting of Homer, Moe, Dr. Hibbert, Chief Wiggum and Flanders, though Ned gets tossed out for being too reasonable.  The remaining four tail Apu to the airport where they find Elton John.  Mistaking that he's part of Apu's act, they trick him into going in a cage, but then they learn that Apu's real plan is to have a skywriter take a plane to draw out the phrase "I ♥ U MANJULA".  Homer is able to get in the plane just as it take off, and he and the skywriter get into a fight.  The fight causes the spray can to explode, instead creating the phrae "I ♥ U *", with the five pronged star somehow being interpreted across town by women as a message meant for them, though Marge can't make the star out to be anything.  The fight continues, the plane descending at a rose garden where Homer is swarmed with prickly roses.  The plane flies low over the Simpson backyard, and Homer is able to fall out, somehow grouping the roses into a bouquet and landing in a kneeling position despite barely being conscious.  Marge adores the supposed gesture of love, and is happy with Homer once again.  Though the skywriting plan fails, Apu is able to recruit Elton John to sing for Manjula as the Kwik-E-Mart is closed for the remainder of the day.

Quick Review
This was a good episode overall.  Elton John's appearance was well done, I felt.  There wasn't much comedy going on during Apu's acts of love so the episode's score is hurt from that, but otherwise it was fine.

Final Score: 7.9

I Love Lisa (S04, E15-074)

This is the exact moment Ralph's heart breaks.

Plot Summary
It's Valentine's Day in Springfield, and Springfield Elementary is celebrating the holiday like most other schools do: making cards and passing them around!  In the 2nd grade class, Lisa notices that Ralph Wiggum has not received even a single card.  Feeling pity for him, Lisa gives Ralph a card (one that reads "I choo-choo-choose you!" with a train on it), but Ralph takes it to mean the Lisa really likes him.

Upon realizing Ralph's feelings, Lisa takes her mother's advice and lets him know that she doesn't feel that way about him.  Undeterred, Ralph talks to his dad, police Chief Wiggum, and gets the advice to never give up, and never lose your cool.  Meanwhile school is going to have a President's Day showcase, and the 2nd grade class is going to do a play about George Washington.  Lisa earns the part of Martha Washington, but Ralph gets the part of George Washington thanks to Chief Wiggum forcing Ms. Hoover to give Ralph the part.  Ralph earning the part only bugs Lisa more as she continues to stave Ralph off.

However, Ralph's efforts to court Lisa continue.  With Wiggum's pull as police chief, Ralph is able to acquire two tickets to Krusty the Klown's 29th anniversary show, with the intention of taking Lisa along with him.  Lisa is unsure about taking advantage, but Homer convinces her to go after advising her to ignore her conscience.  The event goes poorly for Lisa though, as she can barely stomach Ralph's attempts to get closer to her.  Finally, during a "talk to the audience" segment, Krusty talks to Ralph, who boldly claims he loves Lisa and wants to marry her in the future.  Lisa has enough, and lets him know that she only gave him that card out of pity.

Though Lisa regrets what she did later on, Ralph is still heartbroken.  President's Day arrives, though, and the two have to play their parts in the school play.  Still upset over what Lisa did, Ralph gives an amazingly strong, emotional performance as George Washington, and earns the praise of the crowd.  Afterward, Lisa makes up with Ralph by giving him a new card: "Let's Bee Friends" with a picture of a bee on the card.  Ralph likes the card, and the two are friends again.

Quick Review
This was another great episode.  Ralph's character is finally set although it degrades as the series moves along, and the finer points of Ralph's character displayed here are lost.  Chief Wiggum really shines in this episode, as he provides the funniest moments of the episode alongside Krusty and his 29th anniversary highlights.  Its an endearing episode, and one of the best Valentine's Day slash President's Day mishmash holiday episodes out there.

Final Score: 9.4