Gone Boy (S29, E09-627)

Recap: Bart falls into an old missile base and can't get out.  Among others searching for him is a prisoner contingent featuring Sideshow Bob.

Review: So, it seems like this episode is ignoring the events of the last full episode, which I'm thankful for.  Overall, its been the best episode centered on Bob since Season 14, but barely.  I liked the parts with Bart, and Homer and Grampa when the two of them were searching for Bart.  Bob's parts were fine too but the episode does drag sometimes when he pulls out the now numerous amount of references to his past escapades, and the multiple Dial "M" for Murder references weren't good at all, inhibiting it from being a really good, 8+ episode.

Still, this season has been mostly terrible thus far, and this episode is the best of it to this point with minimal effort.

Final Score: 7.7

Mr. Lisa's Opus (S29, E08-626)

Recap: An 18-year old Lisa talks about forgotten birthdays and ending her dad's alcohol problem in an admissions essay to Harvard.  She then has trouble fitting into Harvard, away from her family.

Review: So, this is the third episode in a row that makes a significant reference to a classic Simpsons episode.  Stark Raving Dad is the victim this time, complete with the return of the Michael Jackson impersonator who, this time, was voiced by a Michael Jackson impersonator (because, you know, the real one's dead now).  It wasn't handled too well, as it felt overly forced in and Lisa's lack of appreciation towards the act didn't sit well.

The episode tried hard to not be as dry and boring as its premise makes it out to be, and the results are mixed.  Lots of decent quick one-liners and jokes, but a lot of jokes (and especially references) were not so great, which basically all cancel out.  A couple of sweet moments at the end (and a good Grampa rant) save it from a graver fate, but the episode wasn't very good.

Final Score: 5.0

Grampy Can You Hear Me? (S29, E05-623)

Recap: Grampa gets a hearing aid and learns he is mocked quite often outside of his old hearing range.  Meanwhile, Skinner has a falling out with his mother upon learning that she killed his dream of being a band marcher.

Review: The Grampa sidestory, and it was a side story despite it claiming the episode's title, starts off decently enough but after Grampa learns people mock him often the story takes a back seat and then ends on a dull, pointless note with little payoff.

The Skinner story, which I believe is the first case of the show actively ignoring The Principal and the Pauper, was better overall.  It had funnier gags, the stuff with Ohio State was decent albeit with a few misses, and it had better plot development overall although it, too, had a rather tame end.

Its kind of odd, the episode really didn't know how to end itself.  Its not like the ending needed to be rushed; the episode had the full, entire open, an extended couch gag, and a lengthening unrelated bit at the end because the episode itself was so short; that time could've been used to create a much more satisfying conclusion to both plot lines.  Sad, really.

Final Score: 6.7

Whistler's Father (S29, E03-621)

Recap: Maggie inherits Grampa's ability to whistle exceptionally and becomes a baby diva before she even hits it big.  Meanwhile, the mafia asks the style-'conscious' Marge to 'redecorate' the old post office into a whore house.

Review: Overall, its a dull episode.  A few jokes worked, a few jokes didn't.  Maggie's plotline was borderline ridiculous which didn't help matters.  Episode could've fared better with more mafia gags as they were the best part of the episode.  Better than the other two episodes of this season, of course that's not saying much.

Final Score: 6.2

A Father's Watch (S28, E18-614)

"Well, the character of John Homer is only partly based on me."

Plot Summary
Bart is still terrible at school.  Marge helps organize an event where an "parenting expert" tells parents that children do better with self-esteem, and that self-esteem comes from praise, endless praise preferably from trophies.  As Marge attempts to give Bart trophies for nothing, Homer gets the idea from Lisa to sell participation trophies to everyone while the fad is still hot.  Despite the success, Homer has Bart assemble the trophies, and Bart does so poorly.  Soon, Bart overhears Homer exclaim how big of a screw-up Bart continues to be.

Depressed, Bart catches Grampa's eye, who decides to pass on the Simpson family heirloom to Bart: an old pocket watch that's been passed down ever since it was stolen.  Feeling an accomplishment from "earning" the watch, Bart's self-esteem goes through the roof.  Meanwhile, upset her hard-earned trophies now mean nothing, Lisa helps organize another event where a different "parenting expert" no-nos trophies and advices parents be hard on their children again.  In the process, Homer's trophy business goes under.

Homer then catches Bart with the pocket watch, an item he had been hoping to acquire for some time, and is super jealous about it.  With the watch, Bart's self esteem and confidence continue to rise, until he loses the watch in the forest.  Bart tries to get Milhouse to help him find it but he only hurts Milhouse in the process.  Frustrated, Milhouse does find the watch but instead just sells it to a pawn shop.  Homer just happens by it to sell off his remaining trophy stock and buys his precious possession.  Bart, unaware of this, is in full panic mode when he learns Grampa set up an interview with the two of them about the watch.  Homer is about to go in and gloat but gives in to Bart's sadness and hands over the watch.

Quick Review
A pleasant surprise!  This episode was good!  (go figure, it wasn't even written by one of the series' regular "writers", Simon Rich filled in for this one)

The jokes were aplenty, the social commentary was limited but used to set up some good gags and the overall plot involving Bart, Homer and Grampa was as good as it'll probably ever be at this point.  Lisa wasn't even that annoying!

This season so desperately needed a gem, and now it has one.  Given what the next episode will probably be about, I suppose this score will be cancelled out soon enough.

Final Score: 8.0

The Cad in the Hat (S28, E15-611)

When the show did the "we have stories for years" bit all those
years ago, I don't think the writers then envisioned the
show going as low as "Homer and Grampa play chess angrily".

Plot Summary
In a tale told by Bart and Lisa, the scene is set some time earlier.  At the beach, Bart buys a stick-on tattoo which doesn't work too well while Lisa buys a nice hat which earns her many compliments.  Quickly, Bart's jealously grows.  Meanwhile, Homer reveals his ability in chess, admitting that as a kid his father would force him to play as a means of coping with Mona's departure.  On the car ride back, Bart notices Lisa asleep and decides to toss her hat out the car and into the nearby trash dump.  Later that night, Bart is befriended by his guilt but claims that he only welcomes the gross representation of his guilt, at least to start.

However, the guilt gets to him and Bart decides to confess his crime to Lisa, who refuses to forgive him for his deed.  Desperate to make amends, Bart decides ultimately to find Lisa's hat, and after a few trials, does so.  Lisa is initially unwilling to forgive Bart even after this, but as her own guilt starts to set in, she does like her hat and the two eventually make up.

Meanwhile, as Homer continues to explain, as a kid he got tired of his dad beating him in chess so he got help from a chess master and was finally able to beat his father, the act of which forced Grampa to stop all chess in the house from then on.  Moe suggests that Homer's attitudes towards chess are actually subtle hints that he wants to actually murder him.  Homer freaks out and decides to quit but after getting help from renowned chess player Magnus Carlsen, Homer decides to face Grampa in a chess match.  Homer is winning easily, but realizes its not worth it and forfeits, showing he cares for his father by this act somehow.

Quick Review
It was an okay episode, though the couch "gag" ran a bit long and was pretty terrible.  Remember when those were short little gags and not minutes-long animated shorts?  Well, anyway, I'm rambling about that because the episode itself is, per usual, forgettable.  Magnus Carlsen, the chess player, was a decent guest voice.  Patton Oswalt, projecting himself as Bart's guilt, I'm sure, could've been worse, I suppose.

Homer's story was okay; although its actual plot was not that great, it was carried by its decent jokes.  Bart and Lisa's story had no redeeming qualities, however.  "Bart does bad thing to Lisa, Lisa gets mad/sad, Bart makes up for it" has been done a lot already, and much better than this.

Final Score: 5.7

Fatzcarraldo (S28, E14-610)

"We want the Family Guy audience." -these stupid writers

Plot Summary
After an aggravating night dealing with his sisters-in-law, Homer skips out to get a nice, calming, fattening meal.  However, the Krusty Burger as well as every other fast food place has since updated their menu with the latest food fads and Homer can't get his fix.  Homer has to leave town to find something that fits his palate, and finds a lone chili dog stand -Deuce's Caboose - with which he gorges to his heart's content.

Later, Homer learns from Grampa that, as a boy, Homer was left there while his parents underwent unsuccessful marriage counseling.  It was through Deuce that Homer gained his love for chili dogs and other fattening foods.  Though Deuce doesn't seem to remember Homer, Homer resumes eating at his stand, inviting his friends to eat there as well, causing Krusty Burger and similar outlets to lose sales.  Later, Homer decides to take Lisa (whose school radio program got shut down in a very brief sidestory) to the stand, only to find in horror it has been sold.

Deuce sold the stand to Krusty's food empire so he can retire, but as Homer sees the immediate price markup and likely loss of quality, Homer quickly latches the food caboose onto his car and takes off with it.  Lisa, doing one final radio bit, is able to convince several other fatasses to help Homer out in his chase, but the antics eventually lead to him and the caboose hanging on by a thread over a bridge.  Deuce runs up, having remembered Homer, and helps him back up with the caboose falling to its end.  The two reconcile, and that's that, I guess?

Plot Summary
This episode serves as a good definition of Zombie Simpson "dull".  Too many references, not enough jokes.  Glen Close returns to voice past-Mona for a couple of lines, but she clearly phoned it in both literally and figuratively.  Lisa had a tiny little insignificant sidestory that really served no purpose and offered no laughs.  Although not entirely irredeemable, there isn't anything in this episode worth a watch.

Final Score: 5.3

Dad Behavior (S28, E08-604)

Leinart perfectly spiraled his way out of the NFL, you know.

Plot Summary
Still too lazy to do most chores, Homer learns from Barney about a new app which allows one to summon people to do chores for them.  Homer, of course, abuses the service, even paying extra to have someone without a criminal record to play catch with Bart.  Upon seeing that person, former college quarterback Matt Leinart, have "genuine" fun with Bart, Homer gets jealous.  He attempts to recreate the catch experience with a chore boy, but it goes so poorly Homer gets blacklisted.  That, coupled with him being unaware that the service isn't free, ends Homer's honeymoon with the app.

Lonely, Homer visits his own father, only to find Grampa with his own issues: having hooked up with a new lady via a dating service, Grampa is led to believe the lady he's with is now pregnant and is making preparations to skip town.  Meanwhile, Milhouse and his father have a small falling out and Milhouse goes to visit Bart.  However, Bart and Matt continue to have fun by themselves, which literally pushes Milhouse away and towards Homer, and the two build up a rapport.  Bart soon realizes that Matt was only being paid to let Bart win and he leaves anyway once his time is up.  With no fake father figure remaining, Bart tries to reconnect with his real father, only to find Homer spending time with Milhouse instead.  Increasingly jealous, Bart decides to hang out with Milhouse's father instead.

Grampa ponders whether to actually become a father again, noting that Simpson men have never really been good fathers, but that notion seemingly gets proven wrong when he finds Homer fishing with whom he believes is Bart (but is actually Milhouse).  Invigorated, Grampa goes to his girlfriend, ready to commit, but an ultrasound reveals that the baby is probably Jasper's, not Abe's, which is all good to Grampa.

The tensions between the Simpson and van Houten men reach a head at an amusement park, where Kirk's carelessness gets Bart injured.  Homer quickly tends to his own son, allowing them, and also the van Houtens, to reconcile with one another.

Because there wasn't enough episode to fill the time, the episode ends with a chore negotiator from earlier in the episode failing to get Maggie to give up her pacifier, and a tribute to Vin Scully - who retired from broadcasting a few months back - by doing a bit about Vin (or a caricature of Vin) rambling during a broadcast.

Quick Review
There were some good jokes here and there, but my oh my was the plot dull.  The sidestory with Grampa was short, so short it seemed even more pointless than it was, and it felt like it served only to fill the leftover time from the main story which, despite its modern twist (woah, apps!  s-see, we're m-modern too!), was as predictable as they come.

Final Score: 6.9

Havana Wild Weekend (S28, E07-603)

This was funnier than any of the Cuba scenes, honestly.

Plot Summary
Grampa is having bladder problems, causing him to be more depressed than usual.  He goes to a VA hospital for help, but as the writers remain 18 months behind the times, they still think the problems with the VA are a hot topic, so as a result Grampa isn't getting help anytime soon.  Fortunately, another vet directs Abe to getting help in Cuba, where medical care is both fast and cheap.

However, upon arriving, doctors there provide no additional help.  Abe is about to give up on life until he spots a 1950s era car that populate the country.  Reinvigorated by nostalgic sights, Abe befriends a female bartender who takes an interest in him, as well as an old war friend who has been hiding out in Cuba for decades.  The friend invites Abe to help operate his hidden business - a hijacked plane which is now used for parties.  Abe decides to stay and the other Simpsons return home without him.

Not pleased with these turn of events, Homer strikes a deal with the CIA to retrieve Grampa in exchange for some baseball players.  Meanwhile, Grampa and his friend host a party full of shady characters who have found refuge in Cuba to avoid legal troubles.  As Homer and family find and try to convince Grampa to leave, the bartender whom he befriended (and invited to this party) hijacks the plane.  She's actually an undercover CIA agent who used Grampa to weed out and recapture the various criminals that came to the party.  Afterward, Grampa is again depressed that his life no longer has meaning again but Homer invites him to the golf course so that the two of them - and Bart - can take part in the ancient past time of messing with golfers.

Quick Review
This wasn't a great episode.  This reminds me a bit of the Brazil episode - though the jokes did work better here there was also a lot of cultural and modern references that just don't do anything to add to the episode other than serve as a constant reminder that "oh yeah, they're in Cuba".  Which, as I've mentioned before, does not work as any real comedy.

Final Score: 5.7

Character Spotlight: Abraham "Grampa" Simpson

Note: This was written following the Season 27 episode "Gal of Constant Sorrow", any information regarding Grampa that occurs after this episode is not covered here.

Character: Abraham Simpson, voiced by Dan Castellaneta

First Episode: in the full series, Grampa first appeared in Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (S01, E01-001), but he's been around since the Tracy Ullman shorts.  His first appearance in those was "Grampa and the Kids".

Occupation: a retired veteran, its never truly specified what Grampa did once he was out of the army, though its likely that he was - at least for some time - a farmer.

General Demeanor
There are basically two different kinds of Grampa Simpsons the show uses: quick-gag Grampa and episode-focus Grampa.

Quick-gag Grampa is a senile old man who rambles about events in the past which may or (more likely) may not have happened and is often ignored and/or avoided by the main Simpson family.  Sometimes it'll be him and the other old folks at the retirement home he lives at who will be the brunt of jokes, which generally consists of them being slow, feeble and out of touch.

Episode-focus Grampa, as you would expect, is a more fleshed out character.  He's rarely senile or incompetent here unless its to set up the episode or its major conflict.  More often than not, if an episode focuses on Grampa it'll be on one of three things: his time with the army, his relationship with his son Homer or his estranged wife Mona, or how miserable his life currently is living mostly alone at the retirement home.

Generally, Grampa and Homer do not get along very well, partly due to Mona's absence for most of Homer's childhood and adolescence.  Grampa's general dismissal of Homer's accomplishments and Homer's subsequent act of putting Grampa in the retirement home have left the two at odds with one other.  Grampa gets along better with the rest of the immediate Simpson family, though how much he gets along with them varies from episode to episode.

Key Character Moments
Unlike other characters I've covered thus far, Grampa is as much a member of the main Simpson family as a character that's not the main five can be.  Subsequently, there are many episodes where Grampa is featured, many more than most characters would get.  So, I'm mainly going to focus on episodes that develop Grampa as a character, or exceptional episodes that feature Grampa.

The Rise of the Simpsons
Some bits of Grampa's history is shown here, including his time in the military and his rocky relationship with Homer.  Another part of his past revealed is that Abe has another son, whom he conceived with a carnival woman who soon died.  That boy grew up to be the head of a car company who made the fatal mistake of letting Homer design a company-destroying automobile.  Grampa is also shown to be sneaky, in The War of the Simpsons, he guilt trips Lisa and (somewhat) Bart into cleaning up the house after Bart hosts a messy party there.  When Homer and Marge return from their marriage-episode shenanigans, Grampa reveals his ruse, and quite happily so.

Old Money is the first real episode to focus on Grampa, who fell in love with another resident of his retirement home, Bea.  She dies when Grampa is forcibly away, but leaves him with her savings, over $100,000 worth.  Ultimately Grampa decides to use the money to fix up the retirement home, naming a dining room in her honor (which I don't think was ever referenced again - the dining room I mean).

An 'accurate' portrayal of Grampa from the Tracy Ullman shorts.

The Golden Age of the Simpsons
Grampa is given focus on The Front, where his name and elderly status is used by Bart and Lisa to submit written Itchy & Scratchy cartoons without being dismissed.  Grampa is given recognition for his "efforts" but after actually watching one of his "written" cartoons, he is disgusted and tells off everyone that likes it.

In a side-plot of Lisa vs Malibu Stacy, Grampa wants to feel young again, and does a thing most young people do: work at a fast food restaurant.  However, struggling to keep up with the fast pace of the work, Grampa soon realizes that his age allows him to complain about food with his elderly peers, not just deal with it like his younger co-workers and promptly quits.

In the underrated Lady Bouvier's Lover, Homer and Marge get the bright idea to hook up lonely Grampa with Marge's mother, the lonely Jacqueline Bouvier.  It actually works until Mr. Burns swoops in to steal Jacqueline away.  Grampa's last ditch attempt to prevent the two from marrying works enough for Jacqueline to reject both of them, which is good enough for Grampa.

Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy actually reveals much of Grampa's past, such as the fact that he used to live on a farm with Mona and a young Homer.  As the two go around the area selling some kind of aphrodisiac, the two eventually get into an argument, where Grampa angrily reveals that its only because he took that medicine that Homer was conceived in the first place.  Though he immediately regrets saying that, Homer's anger with Grampa reaches new highs.  Still, as the two independently return to the farm, Homer realizes that Grampa does care for him, and Grampa knows that he had good fun with Homer while it lasted and the two reconcile after each one independently (and accidentally) set the farm on fire.

Speaking of Mona, she formally gets introduced in the Season 7 episode Mother Simpson.  Although Grampa isn't much of a focus in this episodes, its revealed that Mona leaves him after her run in with activism forces her to go on the run - and Abe didn't do much to convince her to stay.  The two are at odds, but Mona shows only pity for the decaying Grampa.

In another Season 7 episode (the one with the really long title), Grampa reveals he was part of a unit during World War II consisting of Springfield residents, which included Monty Burns.  After the war, the unit found a batch of valuable paintings, so Monty suggests a tontine, where the last surviving member of the unit is given the paintings.  Abe and Monty are the last two left, so Monty tries to speed up the process by having Abe killed.  Eventually, Grampa realizes he was Monty's commanding officer, and kicks him out of the unit, officially giving him the paintings until the descendant of the painting's owner arrives to claim what's rightfully his.  Also Grampa and Bart bond over the experience, whatever.

The Fall of the Simpsons
Season 9's Lisa the Simpson has Grampa revealing to Lisa that there exists a "Simpson gene" where members of the Simpson family are doomed to become stupid and incompetent, though he himself is unaware that the gene only affect male Simpsons.

King of the Hill, the Season 9 episode, provides a little extra backstory for Grampa.  Here, at some point, he tries to climb the Springfield Murderhorn with an associate - McAllister, and though he claims McAllister kicked him off the mountain in an act of betrayal, but Homer finds out that Grampa betrayed McAllister, including biting off a chunk of his arm.

Homer Simpson in: "Kidney Trouble", was a Season 10 episode where Grampa's kidneys fail thanks in large part of Homer, and so Homer is tasked with giving Grampa one of his, but when Homer learns of the drawbacks of having only one kidney, he chickens out (twice even), leaving Grampa to die.  Luckily, Homer gets hit by a car on the second escape, and the opportunity allows Grampa to get a kidney while Homer is under surgery from the car accident.

Showing his wits once more, in The Great Money Caper, as Homer and Bart begin lives as professional ruse-men, Grampa (eventually) reveals he is the greatest of the Simpson ruse-men.

Zombie Simpsons
The Old Man and the Key, a Season 13 episode, has Grampa earning a driver's license again so he can woo a foxy, shallow older lady named Zelda.  However, Grampa crashes Homer's car, and Homer subsequently prevents Grampa from driving again.  Zelda leaves Grampa for another man as a result and as the two head to Branson, Missouri, Grampa (and Bart) steal Marge's car to catch up, so Grampa can find Zelda and ultimately tell her off.

Season 15's The Regina Monologues reveals Abe has a second illegitimate child whom he conceived with an English woman, a 58 year old woman named Abby who looks and acts mostly like Homer.

Grampa is a major character in Midnight Rx, which is all I'm going to say about that episode.

Season 17's Homer's Paternity Coot reveals that Mona was in a relationship with another man supposedly around the time she got pregnant with Homer.  Homer finds the man and takes a paternity test with both that man and Grampa.  Initially its revealed that the man, a wealthy, successful man, is the father, but after some time Grampa reveals that he actually is the father and that he swapped the tests around because he felt Homer would have more fun with the other guy.

A few episodes later in Million Dollar Abie, Grampa single-handedly botches Springfield's bid for an NFL team, and the town subsequently hates him so much Grampa wants to kill himself.  He thinks he does, and is truly happy but becomes depressed again when he learns he's still alive.  No longer fearing death, he then becomes a bullfighter.  Neat story, right?  But then Lisa gets made because Grampa is hurting animals so he lets them go so they can hurt innocent people.

Rome-old and Juli-eh, in Season 18, has Grampa getting into a relationship with Selma, initially to anger Homer but the two start up a real relationship anyway but it doesn't work out due to Selma's full time work and Grampa's general incompetence.

Zombie Simpsons HD
I just realized that there were seven seasons - and parts of an eighth - of regular Zombie Simpsons, and now we're in the seventh season (with parts of the same eighth) of Zombie Simpsons HD.  All the same writers, all the same low quality.  Its okay though, for I no longer feel pain.

Anyway, in Season 20's In the Name of the Grandfather, another moment of the Simpsons forgetting about Grampa leads to them fulfilling one of his wishes: to return to Ireland where he was briefly at and drink at a pub he once was at.  Shenanigans occur, of course.

In Thursdays with Abie, in Season 21, Grampa is being taken advantage of by a "human interest" writer who plans on writing a memorable story about Grampa which ends with Grampa's memorable "death".  Homer stops it in time.

Season 21's The Color Yellow has Grampa reveal that his great grandfather, also named Abraham Simpson, is the offspring of a former slave and a woman who helped him escape, meaning he, Homer, and his kids are a slim fraction black.

I'm posting a link to Season 22's The Scorpions Tale.  The picture on the page is basically all you need to know.

Season 24's Gone Abie Gone reveals Grampa found a new girlfriend after Mona left, which Homer was fully aware of but had completely forgotten about, but circumstances mostly beyond their control forced the two apart.

Later that season, in To Cur with Love, Grampa forces Homer to remember that he had a dog when he was boy, Bongo, but was forced to leave Bongo on a ranch outside the city after it bit Mr. Burns' hand.  Homer had believed Bongo forgotten about him, resulting in his disdain for dogs, but Grampa revealed that Bongo still had Homer's old sweater, which forces Homer to reconsider his stance on dogs - as well as Grampa.

Still in Season 24, Gorgeous Grampa makes the viewer believe that Grampa was gay based solely on old props and clothes he had, but he was actually a fancy bad guy wrestler way back when.

Season 25's The Yellow Badge of Cowardge shows Grampa being a coward while he was in the army which was the main reason why he and most senior veterans even survived anything.  Thinking about it, I suppose this episode didn't sit well with veterans.

EVEN MORE past is revealed in Season 26's Let's Go Fly a Coot, which reveals how Abe and Mona met.

Must Watch Episodes that Focus on Grampa Simpson
Old Money
The Front
Lady Bouvier's Lover
Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy
Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"

Love is in the N2-O2-Ar-CO2-Ne-H3-CH4 (S27, E13-587)

Comic book guy writes an episode where he pretends he's Frink for some reason.png

Plot Summary
Its Valentine's Day, and Mr. Burns via a misunderstanding hosts a Valentine's Day party for his employees and their significant others.  Among those attending is Professor Frink, who works at the plant as a consultant, but is one of the few people there without a date.  Homer eventually gets a call from Grampa who complains that he's alone and that the death-stalking cat that lives there is paying him a visit, so Homer and Marge go to visit him.  At the retirement home, all of the seniors are depressed, until the nurse these gives everyone a new drug which makes the seniors hallucinate all of their former loves.  This includes Grampa, who hallucinates Mona back when Grampa still liked her.

The next day, Homer finds Frink still at the plant, the professor having spent the night wallowing in despair.  Homer tries to lift Frink's spirits by noting dating is nothing but trial and error - like the scientific method.  Adequately lifted, Frink goes to find a way to make himself desirable to women.  This includes ditching his glasses for contacts, height-raising shoes and - most importantly - a computer chip which changes his voice into something not nearly as nerdy.  After testing these modifications successfully on a female-like android he suddenly has, Frink is quickly and easily able to find dates - tons and tons of dates.  He notices that other men aren't as lucky as he has become and starts to come up with a plan.

Meanwhile, Marge visits the retirement home again and sees its seniors still hallucinating under the drug.  Marge confronts the nurse there over the drug and eventually relents.  Soon enough, the seniors are back to being lonely and depressed, but Grampa finds the stash of the remaining pills and binges on them, fully taking him to a hallucinated 50's world.  Eventually, Marge, Bart and Lisa pull him back to reality.

Soon after that, Frink invites all of the ladies he's dated to the planetarium under the belief he's going to pick one of them to date solo.  However, Frink - back in his goggles and 'normal' voice - reveals his true plan: having matched up the single men in Springfield with all of the single women he had been dating, though this leaves only him without a match.  Still, he finds looking out at the stars with his android girl (and her android mother whom Frink built for some reason) good enough.  Also Grampa flushed the remaining pills into the toilet, likely contaminating the water supply, meaning everyone can hallucinate that its the 50s, now.

Quick Review
This episode was pretty boring, nothing particularly funny happened.  Frink, usually a decent character for gags and such, is given focus on an episode for the first time and it doesn't work out especially in the episode's second half.  The sidestory with Grampa and the hallucinations was just weird and again failed to deliver anything of humor in the latter portion of the episode.  This episode isn't worth your time.

Final Score: 5.9

Barthood (S27, E09-583)

So deep, man, lets give this episode an Emmy or something, wow.

Plot Summary
The episode works as one whole Boyhood reference.  The episode goes through Bart's life at the ages of 6, 8, 12, 15, 18 and I think 20 as he deals with his neglectful father, living in his sister's far more successful shadow and honoring Grampa whom, in this episode, Bart shares a deep connection with.

Generally, as the years move on, Bart becomes more depressed as Homer's neglect becomes more evident and Lisa's success the more invasive to Bart's life.  When Bart turns 15, he attempts to break out as a BMX star in honor of the then-late Grampa but injures himself when literally seeing Lisa's shadow and quits.  At 18, Bart confronts Lisa over her supposed superiority but Lisa snaps back noting that, if nothing else, Bart has become great at being an artist, including the awful way of life artists usually have.  Finding some odd inspiration out of that, Bart, in two years time, starts up a bike repair shop in honor of his relationship with Grampa as well as Lisa, who gave him the advice.

Quick Review
I preface this by saying I haven't seen Boyhood nor do I intend to.  I'm sure its a good movie, and its achievements can't be understated.  That said, that movie came out, as of this writing, nearly 18 months ago nationwide.  The Simpsons - well, modern Simpsons - are often criticized for referencing material far past its shelf-life, with the show even defending this practice rarely, but honestly, how many people still remembered Boyhood as a thing by the time this episode aired?  How many people watched this episode who, like me, never saw Boyhood?  Topical, flavor-of-the-time episodes like these never do well and date themselves quickly - see Homerpalooza for an example, and making a topical episode off of something last relevant well over a year ago makes even less sense.

Since this is modern Simpsons, of course the tribute to the reference has to be top notch.  The need to keep the episode faithful to its reference trumps any other factor - comedy, pacing, character development, and to much lesser, not-as-important aspect, canon.  The episode makes a point of having Bart have a strong relationship with Grampa even though, normally, nobody in the family cares about Grampa.  I'm sure something similar to that happens in Boyhood, but to someone who hasn't seen it (again, me), having such a drastic shift in character just feels off.

Subsequently, because there is such a focus on the reference and not much else, the episode isn't that funny.  It tries to make up for it in mild shock value (OH MAN HOMER IS STONED, OH SO IS CHIEF WIGGUM, AND NELSON LOOKS OLD, ISN'T THAT FUNNY!?) but that didn't work.  Grampa's ramblings were pretty decent but then he was gone for the second half of the episode so he couldn't continue salvaging this.

I've said or implied this multiple times by now, but I watch the Simpson to laugh at jokes be they jokes based off character flaws, or clever dialogue.  I don't watch the show to revel in storylines, and I certainly don't watch it to see the show act like its something else.  The latter was what I got, and what I got was very unimpressive.

Final Score: 5.7

Let's Go Fly a Coot (S26, E20-572)

Glenn Close cameo'd Mona's voice here, but it sounds way different.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons are invited to Milhouse's birthday party, the latest in a line of lavish, extravagent, and expensive kid birthday parties.  Homer has enough of this, and makes it a mission to ruin each kid's lavish party so that such parties can return to the basics (ideally before one of his kid's next birthdays).  However, big birthday corporations catch Homer and force an ultimatum: either give up his crusade AND be the host of a similarly magical birthday party for Rod Flanders, or none of his kids will have birthday parties - of any kind - ever again.  Homer reluctantly agrees, hosting the party at a Flight Museum.

At the museum, several World War II vets, who served in the Air Force, recognize Grampa Simpson, but notice how poorly Homer treats his own father.  The five vets decide to change Homer's ways, by beating him up, forcing him to spend time with Abe, and then forcing Homer - at gunpoint - to hug his father.  Somehow, this works, and Homer and Abe are closer than ever.

Meanwhile, Milhouse's Dutch cousin Annika is in town who looks like a hot girl with Milhouse's face, and Bart takes a liking to her, especially after she introduces him to e-cigarettes, technically legal in whatever state they're in.  As the two (and Milhouse) spend time together, the two (except Milhouse) continue smoking e-cigs... and Marge catches Bart in the act.  Suddenly, Annika is forced to return to the Netherlands, and Bart seeks advice on how to express his feelings for her.

Grampa decides to help out by telling a story of him back in the 50s when he cleared turtles off of runways at an Air Force base.  At a nearby bar, he takes a liking to a cocktail waitress, "Sunny", but realizes she prefers the company of men capable of feats like breaking the sound barrier in a plane.  The next day, Abe decides to hijack a new jet model and, somehow, is able to break the sound barrier with it.  Abe successfully woos the waitress, who turns out to be Homer's mother Mona, and its remarked that Mona didn't seem so "Sunny" until after she left Abe.  Grampa's point, then, is that with a grand gesture, you can make any woman like you, even if she's not a good fit, but that love won't last if you try to keep up that charade.

With that advice, Bart catches Annika at the airport and, in a grand gesture, tells Annika how he feels about her: that he doesn't like her, or her attitude towards most things, and especially the e-cigs that he had been storing in his backpack.  With that settled, Bart returns to hanging out with just the one lame Van Houten, and with the Air Force vets' job done, Homer cooks Grampa a thick steak... which has to be condensed into e-cig vapor as that's the only way remaining in which Grampa can consume food, apparently.

Quick Review
This was an odd, disjointed episode.  The birthday party opening had some good things going for it, and the stuff with the Air Force vets had potential as well.  Unfortunately, that subplot kinda died out rather suddenly, with the focus then shifting towards Bart and Annika, which was a pretty boring plot.  Grampa's story about how he met Mona was okay, but it was nothing special.

This ends up being a subpar episode brought down mostly by a fractured plot and the unfunny use of Annika.

Final Score: 6.3

The Yellow Badge of Cowardge (S25, E22-552)

He is an open target.  The Germans could fire right at him no problem.
Great, its nice to know the writers don't know how to act like cowards, either!

Plot Summary
In a tale narrated by Lisa for no apparent/good reason, its the last day of school and so the school is holding final day festivities outside.  The last event, the main event, is a race around school, an event Milhouse has specifically trained for, showing Bart his new secret six pack that he developed just for this race.  Martin spies this from afar and uses the opportunity to place a bet with Jimbo and pals that Milhouse will win the race despite the official odds against him.  Sure enough, Milhouse's training starts to pay off, and he takes the lead.  Worried he'll be in the red with a Milhouse win, Jimbo tasks Nelson of stopping Milhouse in the part of the race track that goes through the secluded path in the forest and beat Milhouse.  Nelson does just that and starts beating up the new dejected Milhouse.  Bart, in second place, runs by and sees what's happening, but reluctantly decides not to do anything to maintain his lead in the race.  Bart ends up winning, and Milhouse winds up with traumatic amnesia, unable to recall what happened in the forest at all, to Bart's slight relief.

Meanwhile, Homer is disgusted upon learning the city won't be holding a 4th of July fireworks celebration due to budget cuts.  Homer eventually decides he'll host a fireworks brigade of his own, recalling the joy he had as a kid during fireworks shows as he couldn't hear his parents argue during said time.  He came to admire the man working the fireworks show, and kept his business card for all these years.  The fireworks engineer is now retired, but Homer is able to convince him to do one more show for the town, so the two team up to acquire and prepare fireworks.

Bart begins to feel guilt and regret for his actions during the race.  For some reason, the entire town honors Bart for his school race victory, where Bart attempts to set the record straight by bringing Milhouse on stage, but is unable to go through with the truth.  Just then, Kearney shoots a rubber band which hits Milhouse right in the head, causing him to remember the beating - and that Bart ran off like a coward.  The town turns on Bart and boos him away.  Bart tries to get advice from Grampa on his supposed cowardice, where Grampa and the other seniors admit its only because of their cowardice that they've been able to live as long as they have despite the night terrors they have to sometimes deal with, and Bart has to now deal with.

On the 4th of July, Homer and the elder fireworks engineer have prepared a show on the lake, but the two get into an argument over when to start the show and then on which date America was actually liberated.  The argument causes the fireworks float to tip over, aiming the fireworks at the crowd.  A missed shot by Kearney hits the sequence start button, and the fireworks begins to fire up.  Bart gets the opportunity to hijack an armored van somehow, but in an effort to make things up with Milhouse, decides to take his friend with him.  Just as the fireworks begin to fire, Bart drives the van up in front of the crowd to shield them from the rockets, essentially saving them.  The crowd wonders who was behind the heroics, when Bart pushes Milhouse out in front of the crowd, leading everyone to believe he was the hero.  The crowd gathers around to celebrate their hero Milhouse, as well as their coward Bart for whatever reason.  In any case, Bart can sleep soundly again.

Quick Review
This episode scored better than I thought it would, especially after its slow beginning.  There were some pretty decent jokes, and Homer's sidestory was good as well.  Its a decent way to end the season.

Final Score: 7.0

The Winter of His Content (S25, E14-544)

At long last Grampa can be proud of his son.

Plot Summary
The Springfield Retirement Castle is forced to close down due to several health violations.  As Homer and Marge go to take Grampa home, Marge notices two other old men with nowhere to go: Jasper and the "Old Jewish Man".  Feeling sorry for them, Marge lets them come home with them and Grampa.  Naturally, Homer and Marge have difficulty taking care of the three old men and their various needs.  Homer is nearing a breaking point but is encouraged by Lisa to be nicer to them at the very least.  Homer takes Lisa's advice to heart and decides to spend time with the old men.  Upon doing so, he comes to realize that with 6 AM breakfast, mall walking that counts as exercise, among other things, the old man lifestyle can actually be really great.  As such, Homer does everything possible to become an old man, which bothers Marge immensely.

Meanwhile, at school, its learned Nelson is forced to wear his mom's old panties, being unable to afford his own.  As kids laugh at Nelson, Bart decides to stand up for Nelson, revealing he, too, wears hand-me-down underwear.  Afterward, Nelson is extremely grateful to Bart, so much so that he takes Bart to a bully hideout where Jimbo and pals make Bart an honorary bully.  Later, they decide to attend a bully convention out of town, but while there a rather radical bully hits the leader of the bully congregation with Bart's slingshot, pinning the blame on Bart.

Bart and the bullies find a way to escape the wrath of the bully congregate, with Nelson sacrificing himself for the cause, but the radical bully and his gang chase the four all the way back to Springfield, setting up a possible beatdown.  Homer and the old men chance upon this, and with the old men unwilling (and/or possibly unable) to help, Homer realizes he's still a bit too young to consider himself old and rushes in to punch away the radical bully and his gang, saving Bart and the others.

Quick Review
The episode started off strong, as I really enjoyed the old man and Homer storyline.  I didn't expect the Bart sidestory to take over the latter portion of the episode, though, and considering how weak that subplot was it really brought the episode down.  The episode also ended in a rather sudden, awkward manner that didn't work at all.  This episode had some potential that just fell apart when it shifted away from that potential.

Final Score: 7.1

Whiskey Business (S24, E19-527)

Does this really happen to anyone?  Is this really a plausible situation?

Plot Summary
At the bar, Moe is once again depressed, and he finds the distracted Homer, Lenny and Carl unable to help him out.  Having lost the will to live again, Moe decides to hang himself.  However, the wooden beam he attached the noose to breaks, catching the attention of his customers.  Homer is able to give Moe CPR, saving his life.  Moe's optimism for life is renewed, but only for a moment as he's reminded his life is still awful.  Marge barges in to yell at Homer, but Homer tells Marge what happened to Moe and she, too, becomes worried.  So much so that she decides to take Moe on a road trip to brighten his outlook, which Moe is somewhat eager to do.

Marge leaves Grampa in charge of the kids, and Bart in charge of Grampa while she and Homer take Moe to Capital City.  While in Capital City, the two take Moe to a suit store and buy Moe a nice, new suit.  Moe is ecstatic with his new suit, and afterwards decides to clean up his dusty old bar.  Refurbishing the place as "The New Moe's", Moe gets new customers to come in.  The two want to drink something relatively old, but Moe only has one such drink: homemade bourbon.  The two men love the drink, and reveal themselves as venture capitalists who love both Moe's drink and his suit, and are willing to give Moe as much money as he needs to start up a business based around the bourbon, an offer Moe easily accepts.

Meanwhile, Bart distracts Lisa by buying her tickets to a jazz show (where she becomes offended over the place's use of a Bleeding Gums Murphy hologram full of advertising, which she protests to no avail) so he can set up a wacky water slide in the backyard.  Grampa shows up and accidentally goes into the slide, taking a nasty hit at the end.  Bart is able to give CPR to the old man to save his life, but with him in bad shape Bart hides him in the basement to nurse him back to health without his parents learning he wasn't able to take care of Grampa.  Grampa comes to appreciate Bart's care, but when Bart starts questioning whether he feels better, Grampa feigns injury to spend more time with Bart.  Bart eventually catches on, but when Grampa explains his reasoning, Bart forgives him and the two bond.

Moe's new business is a success, and the venture capitalists decide to put Moe's business on the stock market.  Moe is once again happy, but tragedy occurs when a thread from his suit gets stuck in an elevator door, causing the suit to fall apart.  Late that night, Moe goes to the Simpson place in ruins, but Marge convinces him that it wasn't the suit that made his business, it was his drink and charisma.  The next day, at the stock exchange, Moe learns that, hey, the suit was a pretty big part of it, as his appearance in his normal garb scares everyone and Moe's stock goes down the drain.  So, its back to normal for Moe, though with his latest experience he decides to leave his old friend the noose alone until the holidays.

Quick Review
For an episode that had three plots, it was awfully boring.  The Lisa storyline was by far the shortest, having only two scenes, but was awful enough to drag the episode down just by itself.  Bart's and Moe's stories weren't much funnier if not less cringeworthy, and it makes for a decidedly subpar episode.

Final Score: 5.1

Gorgeous Grampa (S24, E14-522)

Wrestling fans (probably) know its scripted, but they still enjoy... enjoy this.

Plot Summary
Homer becomes addicted to a reality show called Storage Battles whose primary focus is people opening up abandoned storage lockers to find value in junk.  Homer wants in on this possibly productive venture, and goes to a nearby storage facility where abandoned lockers are being auctioned off.  Homer is able to acquire one for $1000, but is somewhat disheartened when the locker he bought contains nothing really valuable.  In fact, the attire within is rather flamboyant, as though it were meant for men in drag.  Even more shocking, its learned that everything inside the locker belongs to Grampa, leaving Marge to believe that Grampa is actually gay.

Marge tries to get Grampa to admit it by not actually mentioning it, but Grampa kicks them out after hearing they opened up his storage locker.  Not wanting Grampa to die with his feelings supposedly bottled up, she helps set up a "male looking for male" "casual encounter" for Grampa at his usual duck feedin' spot.  Perhaps unsurprisingly, Smithers shows up looking for just that, leaving Grampa somewhat confused.  Marge and Homer, hiding in the bushes nearby, confront Grampa again when Grampa adamantly tells Marge he's not gay, even with Homer holding the wig he got from the closet - which he puts on Grampa for some reason.

Just then, Mr. Burns arrives, which causes Smithers to flee rather unceremoniously.  Burns recognizes Grampa in the wig as "Glamorous Godfrey", a wrestler from the 50s, taking Grampa and the rest of the Simpsons to a shrine Burns had built for the wrestler.  Grampa does reveal he was Godfrey, who was played up as a "heel", a villain who made people boo him relentlessly with his narcissism and cheating.  However, that hatred seeped in his everyday life as well and he couldn't take it anymore and retired, leaving his wrestling stuff in the locker.  Burns doesn't understand this of course, and through the power of song convinces Grampa to embrace the role of the villain and come back to wrestle.  Grampa agrees to do so, with Bart - who has taken a liking to these revelations - on his side.

Grampa returns as Glamorous Godfrey in a nostalgic wrestling show run by Burns, pulling off the routine as wonderfully as ever.  Bart likes it so much he emulates the routine... in a game of baseball, angering everyone including his parents.  Homer tries to confront Burns and Grampa over how they've influence Bart and the two decides to simply bring him in as a sidekick.

Grampa is enjoying the time he's spending with Bart, but Marge shares her worries with Grampa that Bart's taking his 'bad boy' act too far, that he's not just saving it for the ring, but is also using it in real life as well.  After seeing Bart shoot snot into a fan's autograph book, Grampa realizes Marge is right and decides to do something about it.  In the duo's next appearance, Grampa ditches his Godfrey attire and puts on a fake beard and hat, calling himself "Honest Abe", a good-guy wrestler.  He also redresses Bart into patriotic attire, calling him "Laddy Liberty".  Grampa admits his error, then upon realizing the show still needs a good guy beating up a bad guy, he and Bart team up to subdue Burns.

Quick Review
This episode's couch gag was basically the family - and eventually the rest of the town - doing a Harlem Shake, oh I'm sorry, I meant a "Homer Shake".  The rather short fad was done by the show just about when the fad had been overkilled.  I bet, and I write this truthfully, the writers were laughing their asses off getting this couch gag ready.  "OH MAN look at Maggie starting up the Harlem Shake!  HIGH-larious!  This will never NOT be funny!"  Truth be told, I'm one of the lucky few to have successfully avoided watching any Harlem Shake before, during or after its popularity.  Hell, I didn't even know what the song being used was by the fad the internet had destroyed.  The episode uses a modified version of the song sung by Homer, so technically I'm still in the clear.  Of course, part of my soul still died from watching the show sink that low, but hey, little victories, right?

So, yeah, that whole thing sunk the episode before it started, not that the episode was particularly funny anyway.  Grampa's bits as Godfrey were decent, but otherwise the episode didn't have much to offer for comedy.

Final Score: 6.0

The Changing of the Guardian (S24, E11-519)

They're so perfect, Bart and Lisa are even holding hands.

Plot Summary
An ordinary storm takes a turn for the worst when a twister appears near the Simpson home, taking the dog within it despite Homer's genuine best attempts at saving him.  Lenny and Carl, chasing the storm, offer to help so Homer and Marge tag along to find their dog.  The four catch up to the twister but it ruins the storm van and even sweeps Carl away.  Luckily, the twister breaks up just moments later, leaving both Carl and Santa's Little Helper alive, intact, and nearby.  However, the storm also drops a bank it had swallowed up right over Homer and Marge, who are standing just in the right place to avoid being crushed, though they're stuck within a bulletproof glass revolving door.

Afterward, the two realize just how close they came to death, and that if they hadn't made it the kids would've been turned over to the state with their crummy laws on the matter.  The two decide to settle on a guardian to take after the kids just in case both of them die.  Homer doesn't trust Grampa to do, so he's out.  Homer tries to call his half-brother Herb Powell, but he's "broke again".  The two try Patty and Selma, the latter having been raising her adopted daughter Ling, but Ling - who has aged several years despite previously appearing at a baby about Maggie's age - seems pretty despondent from Patty and Selma's harsh parenting methods, so that's out of the question.  The two also try asking friends, but after a few failed attempts the rest of the town catches on and actively avoids the two from asking them about guardianship.

Homer and Marge then decide to start looking out of town, where they come across a surfer named Mav and his wife Portia, an environmental lawyer.  The two are quite rich and successful, and they even have an old man who is far less annoying than Grampa is.  Believing them to be perfect, Homer and Marge officially ask the two to be the kids' guardians, and the two decide to agree.  After the paperwork, Homer and Marge let Mav and Portia spend some time with the kids while the two of them start spending more time alone.

A few weeks pass, when Marge sees to her horror a Christmas photo with Mav, Portia and the kids.  Believing that the two are 'stealing' the kids, Homer and Marge rush up to Mav's winter home to confront the two.  On the way, Marge wonders if Mav and Portia are actually better for the kids.  Homer confirms it so, but also states that those are their kids, theirs to raise unless they die.  After reaching the home, both couples try to talk things out, but the kids return to reveal they'd rather live with Homer and Marge, their biological parents.  Mav and Portia relent and quickly go off to do another rich person activity.  Back home, Homer and Marge give up on finding a guardian for now, deciding that instead of focusing on them dying they'll focus more on just living.

Quick Review
A couple of oddities before I begin.  First, Herb Powell.  The character had been in two episodes: a Season 2 episode where he, a successful car entrepreneur, gets ruined by his long lost half-brother Homer, kind of a downer, and a Season 3 episode where he uses the money won by his half-brother Homer to create an invention that makes him rich again, a nice redemption story.  So after 21 years, Herb finally makes another appearance on the show.  Well, I say appearance, but it was only a few seconds worth of a phone call, where Danny DeVito actually came over to record the single line, Herb is never seen and he quickly admits he's "poor again", ruining the good vibes from the Season 3 episode.  The five seconds worth of "gag" was pointless, stupid and perhaps even insulting.

Another oddity is that of Ling, Selma's adopted Chinese baby.  For several years, Ling was just that, a baby.  However, in a move which clearly shows the writers and staff couldn't give a care about any established continuity, Ling is now several years older, old enough to silently plead Homer and Marge to help her.  People aren't as affectionate towards Ling as they probably were towards Herb just because Herb was in two early-season episodes while Ling made her debut in Season 16, but even so aging Ling so much for, yet again, a single gag, seems kinda irresponsible.  I suppose there are some people out there who've come to like Ling - I wouldn't know how or why - but I bet they weren't all too please to find Ling as a helicoptered four or five year old in this episode.

Still, because these were only moment-long bits they didn't detract much from this otherwise decent episode.  The scenes during the tornado were pretty good, and the interactions between the family and Mav and Portia had its moments as well (not so much anything involving Lisa and Portia, mind you).

Final Score: 7.0

To Cur with Love (S24, E08-516)

Bongo, doing his best trick: bailing Homer out of crap.

Plot Summary
An accident leaves the Springfield Retirement home in ruins, and Grampa is forced to live with his son again, much to the Simpsons' chagrin.  Homer "breaks his back" just as they leave to help Grampa pack, and gets to stay home, alone, for some time.  Homer passes the time by getting addicted to a game, ignoring the dog's pleas for a walk.  Later, Marge and the family returns with Grampa and his stuff, and Bart learns in horror that the dog has gone missing.

As the family starts their search, Bart and Lisa realize Homer is relatively unfazed by the dog's disappearance.  When they find the dog inside a pantry shelf near the sink, everyone is happy the dog is alright, except for the lethargic Homer.  Homer admits he's never been much of a dog person, but Grampa reminds Homer of a "Bongo", bringing back memories Homer didn't want to recall.  As Homer runs off in tears, Grampa decides to tell the rest of the family about Bongo.

Bongo was Abe and Mona's dog when Homer was born, but Homer became really attached to Bongo as he grew older, especially after Mona left.  The two would do everything together and Homer considered Bongo his best friend.  However, things begin to turn sour when, during a nuclear plant kids fundraiser, Burns runs afoul of young Homer and Bongo, with the latter biting Burns in the hand.  Abe quickly helps the two flee as Burns demands the dog meet its death.  With no other options, Abe takes Homer and Bongo to a "crazy" woman who owns a ranch a bit out of town, and Abe has no choice but to tell Homer he's leaving Bongo with her, letting Homer leave his Itchy & Scratchy sweater with Bongo as a memento.  Homer, though, becomes immensely upset with Abe for doing it, and his relationship with his father becomes irreparably damaged.  Meanwhile, Abe is confronted by Burns again and, with no dog for Burns to slay, Abe agrees to do demeaning work for Burns, who basically turns Abe into the crazy old man he is today.

As the family sheds tears over the story, Homer returns to tell his version of the story, which doesn't work out right, but Homer does decide to tell a part of the story Grampa doesn't know about: a few months later Homer snuck over to the ranch to retrieve Bongo, however before he revealed himself, he sees Bongo having fun with his new owner.  Homer realizes that Bongo was happy without him, and from then on believes dogs to be unfaithful, traitorous mutts.  Grampa, though, shows Homer a Christmas photo of an older Bongo, years later, still favoring Homer's then-tattered sweater.  Homer realizes that Bongo still loved Homer, and that Homer had essentially resented dogs, also his father, for no good reason.  Homer makes up with Grampa, and at some point the dog as well as that night the two elder Simpson men are asleep with the dog on the couch, where Homer is dreaming he and Santa's Little Helper are enjoying time at a park populated by his younger self and Bongo, among others.

As the episode ran short again (likely because there was no opening), a minute is taken by Mr. Burns to explain the fiscal cliff and how he, like all other rich people, are devastated after the results of the 2012 election.  He tries to offer new ideas on immigration, but boy that doesn't work out for him at all.

Quick Review
Man, this episode got to me.  Its actually kinda similar to the Futurama episode Jurassic Bark.  Okay, not really, but a key theme is shared between this episode and that one: a dog who continues to love his former human friend even as it got older without him around.  Jurassic Bark was emotionally powerful for that reason, and so was this episode.  Unlike Jurassic Bark, which was pretty funny, this episode, well, it has its moments to be sure, but its nothing spectacular, and the bit with the fiscal cliff at the end kinda ruins the emotional ending the episode had going for it (which might be why it wasn't part of later re-airings).  Still, its nice to see an episode such as this as even if the show continues to struggles bringing on the laughs, it can still at least jerk a few tears.

Final Score: 7.5

Gone Abie Gone (S24, E04-512)

I chose this image for a reason... like I was pinning blame, but I don't quite remember...

Plot Summary
After getting hot onion rings splashed on him, Homer wins a lawsuit and is given $5000.  He is tasked by Marge into putting it into the bank for Lisa's college fund, but his barmates inform him that the banks aren't exactly trustworthy anymore, and they convince to put the money into an online poker account which is, actually, safer.  Lisa laments this turns of events, and panics when she sees Bart gambling it on the site.  Having lost $60 or so, Lisa shoos Bart away and decides to try and win it back.  She does, but also wins an additional $50 to boost her total to $5050.  Bart warns Lisa not to get too involved in gambling, but Lisa studies up on the methodologies of it and decides to increase her fund to where she can go to a top notch university.  With her methods, and I'm guessing a lot of luck, she's able to increase her fund to well over $300,000.  Getting greedy, she plays one more hand where she thinks she's got a full house and goes all in.  An avatar posing as Sideshow Bob calls, though, and turns out to have an even better hand.  Lisa loses all of her money, and she's devastated.  It turns out, though, that it was Bart pretending to be Bob and he acquired all of Lisa's money plus however much more he had to call her all in.  However, Bart notes that the website is aware the two are under 18, and restores Lisa's money to its original amount of $5000.  Lisa asks why Bart would do this for her, and Bart admits that he does, in fact, care for him a little bit.

Meanwhile, Homer and Marge forget to visit Grampa again, only remembering on a later date.  They go to the retirement home to visit him, but they learn that Grampa has gone missing.  Searching his room and belongings, Marge finds a coaster for a place called Spiro's, and Homer decides that's enough of a lead to go on.  At that place, the owner, Spiro, reveals that Abe worked at the place decades ago as a waiter, but he was also an aspiring songwriter who became intimate with a singer named Rita LaFleur.  Odder still, this happened after Mona had left Abe, so a six year old Homer was aware that Abe and Rita were together but unaware of what was really happening, though current Homer has no recollection of this.  Homer and Marge quickly locate Rita and visit her.  She reveals that Abe had proposed to her for some time, but on the day of the wedding Homer winds up injured and goes to the hospital.  There, Rita learns she's been given a gig in Europe, but Abe is aware that clumsy ol' Homer probably won't survive a trip there.  Choosing between his new love and his young son, Abe chooses the latter.  Abe and Homer see Rita off at the airport before going to a nearby bar to help the both of them forget all about her.  In the present, Homer is touched that Abe sacrificed his love life to raise him.

Rita gives them a cologne Abe likes to use, and the two go to the only place left that still sells it.  It's at this place where they find Abe working there, and indeed Abe is upset that Homer forget to visit him again, deciding to run away and live somewhere else where his son won't have to forget about visiting anymore.  The two promise to visit Abe more often, and the old man relents and goes back to the home where, to his astonishment, Rita is there waiting for him, and the two share one more song on the piano.

Quick Review
This is going to really be a quick review as this episode deserves nothing but.

It was boring.  The end.

Final Score: 5.8