The Falcon and the D'ohman (S23, E01-487)

Couldn't of said it better, myself.

Plot Summary
The episode begins with the comic book guy stating the the results of the "Nedna" campaign over the summer will be revealed at episode's end, but there'll be hints in the episode as to whether they stay together or not (though its basically given away in a scene where Ned and Edna are in bed together and Edna just winks at the viewers).

Homer comes in late to work, but successfully evades trouble to punch in "on time".  Afterward, he goes to greet his security guard friend, when he sees that ol' Larry has been replaced by the less friendly Wayne.  Homer tries to make friends with Wayne, but Wayne refuses to even let Homer fistbump him.  Homer is eventually able to get Wayne to ride with him to the tavern, where Wayne still isn't very friendly.  Just as he goes to the bathroom, Snake runs in to rob everyone.  Wayne is able to bust the scene and stop Wayne rather definitively.  As thanks, Homer invites Wayne over for dinner, where Wayne starts having flashbacks of 'special training' he's had in the past, and leaves early.  The next day at work, the media has learned of Wayne's heroics, and Mr. Burns plans on putting a commemorative helmet on Wayne.  It triggers another flashback of Wayne almost being forced to lose his memories via a helmet, and after choking Mr. Burns during the trigger, Homer intervenes to save Burns.  Burns fires Wayne for his act, but Homer decides to let Wayne stay over at his house.

Wayne teaches the family various techniques which they probably shouldn't be learning, but oh well.  He hears Lisa play a particular tune on her saxophone, which causes him to remember a dinner party where a gun fight broke out, and freaks out again.  At the same time, in Kiev, a gangster or something finds video of Wayne choking Burns online, and realizes who it is, recalling the same dinner party where Wayne's actions caused the gangster's wife to be killed.  With vengeance in sight, the gangster flies to Springfield to trap Wayne.

Homer unwittingly reveals to the gangsters that he's Wayne's friend, and they kidnap him and send out a video for Wayne to see.  He's thankful Homer had previous eaten a large quantity of tracking chips, and is able to locate Homer in an ice skating rink.  Wayne is able to sneak into an equipment closet, where he prepare a t-shirt gun full of t-shirts and gasoline to create a makeshift missile launcher.  He's able to defeat the gangsters and save Homer.  Later, Wayne is forced to leave town again, but before he leaves, he lets Homer fistbump him to indicate their friendship.  Marge intervenes, and tells Wayne there's a perfect place for Wayne to hide: the DMV, where Wayne now has rather lengthy flashbacks of him writing plays for Kim Jong Il.

During the credits, Ned and Edna reveal that, yes, they've been voted to stay together.  Principal Skinner comes in wondering why he wasn't an option, and his mother chides him for being late to the party as always.  A message then pops up that this arrangement is basically canon forever.

Quick Review
The episode itself is not that good.  Keifer Sutherland - again - appears as a pretty decent guest voice, but the plot was pretty unfunny as a whole, especially the ending with the Kim Jong Il play.  The big 'reveal' of the Nedna vote wasn't done very well either.  There was hardly any suspense for the reveal, and the episode practically gives it away midway through anyway.  I suppose things could've been worse, but this is a pretty disastrous start to the season.

Final Score: 5.7

24 Minutes (S18, E21-399)

NON-STOP ACTION PACKED ACTION RIGHT HERE ON FOX!!!

Plot Summary
The episode is basically a full-blown spoof of 24.  You remember 24, right?

The intro sets up that Principal Skinner has created a new, high-tech facility to find and capture truants, with Lisa, Milhouse, Martin and Database as the main core of the group.  They learn that Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney have skipped school and they make efforts to bring them in.  Bart gets caught in another prank and is sent to detention.  Marge learns that the school's bake sale is less than 30 minutes away, and has to come up with something fast to sell there, and Homer is sent home from work after leaving a container of yogurt in the cafeteria fridge for way too long, leaving it full of mold and it stinks like all hell.  The rest of the episode takes place from 2:34 to 3:04 pm.

Milhouse is sent out to find the three, and trails them to the Kwik-E-Mart, where Homer has attempted to return his smelly old yogurt.  With Homer and Apu distracted, the bullies spy the pungent item and decide to take it.  Lisa communicates with Milhouse and has him spy on the bullies some more to learn what they would want with the yogurt.  However, Homer blows his cover, and the bullies put both Milhouse and Homer in a dumpster, sending them on their way.  With that loss, Lisa suggests to Skinner that they have only one other option to stop those bullies: Bart.  Bart agrees to help, with various conditions, and commandeers Skinner's car to go to Jimbo's house.  The bullies show that the yogurt is the key piece to a stink bomb they plan on releasing during the bake sale.

As Marge botches her raisin cake, burning it to a crisp in an attempt to cook it really fast, Bart approaches Jimbo's house.  However, Martin is a mole, and informs the bullies of Bart's approach, allowing them to escape.  After seeing the room where the stink bomb was made, Bart gets a crossed up call from Jack Bauer (you know, from 24!), and takes advantage of the opportunity to prank call Bauer.  The bullies infiltrate the school with Martin's help as they take the stink bomb to a ventilation room; not even Willie can stop them.  Homer arrives in the dumpster just in time for the sale, as does Marge with her abomination that could once be called a cake.

As Martin continues to hastily cover his tracks, Bart spies Nelson letting Martin go despite his flamboyancy.  Bart quickly learns that Martin is a mole, but Martin knocks him out before he can relay this to Lisa.  Bart wakes up tied up next to Willie and the stink bomb, with the bullies setting the timer for three minutes.  It turns out Martin was being blackmailed, as the bullies had stolen his ant farm (Martin later atones for what he did by giving himself a wedgie).  With the fan above him ready to spread the fumes of the bomb across the school, Bart spies a tube that carries a large quantity of used hot dog water.  In an attempt to short-circuit the fan, Skinner gives the go ahead to release that water, even though Bart and Willie will likely drown.  Bart isn't quite licked yet, and sees a small window nearby that reveals he's right next to the gymnasium where the bake sale is being held.  He makes himself noticed, but the window is bulletproof.  However, Marge uses his stone of a cake to break the glass, allowing hot dog water to seep into the gym along with Bart, Willie and the bomb.  Lisa quickly arrives to disarm it, relieved that it has a simple emergency cancel button on the top.  The day seems to be saved when suddenly Jack Bauer arrives to get his vengeance on Bart for the prank call, bringing in every agent to take him down, regardless of the price.

Quick Review
I'm going to start off by admitting that I've never seen 24, though I am vaguely aware of how it sets itself up.  So while I'm not going to say the crossover hurt the episode, because the show has already done two such episodes wonderfully), I do feel as though that some of the humor based around 24 and its themes were lost on me as this is the first time I hadn't watched a show that crossed over with The Simpsons.

I did enjoy the plot, though it isn't to say the plot was inherently funny.  The episode tries to sprinkle in some jokes while making a really serious attempt to copying 24, but in the end it makes for another subpar episode that isn't as bad as it could've been, but it wasn't that great either.

Final Score: 6.8

G.I. (D'oh) (S18, E05-383)

Another weird thing is this episode's entire premise.

This episode's title is really G.I. (Annoyed Grunt), which isn't that bad to pronounce (unlike past episodes), but G.I. (D'oh) sounds way better anyway.

Plot Summary
The army is having trouble recruiting people, and teenagers aren't as willing to sign up as they used to.  So, instead, they pander to the elementary school children, who are super impressed with the recruiter's presentation they nearly all agree to join the army when they become 18.  Among these kids is Bart, whose agreement to join the army shocks Marge.  She forces Homer to go down to the recruitment office and have the recruiters tear up Bart's contract.  They do, but they notice Homer's reluctance and quickly convince Homer to join the army himself.

Homer quickly arrives at boot camp, where after an accelerated program, he and several others await to be assigned.  With most trainees sent off to the front line, Homer and a couple of slack-jawed yokels are left unassigned.  A colonel, voiced by Keifer Sutherland, arrives to tell Homer and the yokels that they're going to be assigned as 'the enemy' for some war games, and the colonel makes no effort to hide the fact that they're going to use live ammo and weaponry against them.  Late at night, Homer's troop is able to evade the colonel's group, and Homer's troop runs off to Springfield to hide.  With a new law passed that allows it, the colonel and his army invade Springfield to capture Homer's troop.

Homer gets help from Moe to find a hiding spot, but the colonel quickly buys that secret from Moe, and Homer is forced to run off alone while his troop is captured.  The colonel increases the military presence in town as Homer continues to evade him, but the rest of the town grows weary of this.  Marge decides to start up a 'phone tree' to organize a meet.  They meet at the town's reservoir where they spike it with various kinds of alcohol.  The colonel's group becomes too drunk to continue, and are forced to surrender once the town surrounds them.  During the surrender proceedings, Marge insists Homer not be used in combat, but the colonel assures her Homer will be used in a way best fitted for him: as an army recruiter.

Quick Review
This episode wasn't all that funny, the Looney Tunes-esque chase scene where Homer is evade a drone copter even less so.  There really wasn't all that much to laugh at.

Final Score: 5.6