Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart (S23, E15-501)

The question mark really makes it a thinker.

Plot Summary
Homer, for once, is ready for Marge's birthday.  He's getting her a food processor she likes, which is endorsed by a cook she likes, and Homer is going to a new grocery store nearby where the cook will be singing stuff so he can have the cook sign Homer's present to Marge.  While at the new store, Homer meets the cook who tells Homer she'll call Marge during her live show as an added birthday bonus.

Meanwhile, Apu is there checking to see just how many people are going to this seemingly reasonable store rather than the cesspool that is the Kwik-E-Mart, and after learning most of them are okay with leaving Apu's business, he goes nuts.  At a later point, the store hires a seemingly reformed Snake, who in an ironic twist, hyuck, gets held up by Apu desperate for cash, though the experienced Snake calms Apu down.  Calmed yet defeated, Apu begins to close down his store when Manjula gives him good news: the new store is forced to shut down after its learned it was replacing chicken products with monkey meat.  Apu's business is saved and he can go back to lamenting his family.

Back to Marge's birthday, its going pretty swell.  Bart gets her a live rabbit not unlike one she had as a little girl, but Homer is thrilled to finally be ready for a birthday for once.  Homer readies for the phone call from the cook, but it never arrives.  Several hours later, Homer in frustration reveals his now ruined plan, but upon trying to angrily call the cook, he finds the phone isn't working.  Slowly, the family learns that the new rabbit ate the phone's wires just before the call was supposed to take place, and that the cook had actually called Marge several times, eventually getting so angry over supposedly being shunned she openly mocks Marge on her show.  Marge's birthday is once again ruined, and Homer pins the blame on Bart for bringing in the rabbit in the first place, shoving him into the rabbit's cage as punishment, then forcing him out when Bart enjoys himself in there.

Bart particularly doesn't like how Homer treats him here, and decides to get back at him by displaying graffiti across town with part of Homer's face with the word 'dope' underneath it.  With Milhouse his willing lacking, Bart litters the entire town with hundreds of dope tags, nearly swallowing the entire city.  The next day, Homer is unaware he's the target of the graffiti, and on TV Chief Wiggum basically taunts the vandalizer to do something even bigger.  Bart decides to do just that, but in the process he and Milhouse are confronted by four adults who reveal themselves to be "street artists", led by Shepard Fairey, an actual guy.  They convince Bart that his work is real art and that he should display it in a museum.  Bart agrees to do so, but later Milhouse's bumbling leads to Homer finally figuring out who the man in the dope graffiti is: him.

Homer can't even muster the anger to strangle Bart, simply saddened that Bart views him the way he does.  On the night of the museum unveiling, a remorseful Bart sprays Homer's car, increasing its value, and Homer makes up with his son.  However, the museum display was actually a police trap, set up by Wiggum with help from Fairey, who works with the police because he's a sellout or something, I dunno.  Marge convinces Wiggum not to arrest Bart, but Wiggum still needs to punish Bart for the act, when Homer comes up with a perfect solution: putting Bart back into the rabbit cage where he can sign autographs for his show even though its technically phony.

Quick Review
Season 23 finally has a solid episode, and that's despite the fact that there were two things working against it: the Game of Thrones couch gag that I really couldn't care less about, and the inclusion of the "street artists" whose appearances did little to improve the lackluster main plot with Bart.

However, I was happy to finally see Apu do something funny again.  Its been so long, it seems, since Apu has been involved in any Kwik-E-Mart related shenanigans, as nearly every joke involving him during the past several years has involved his less than pleasant wife and kids, and I mean 'less than pleasant' from both his point of view as well as a comedic one.  In this episode, Apu going nuts over the new store and his attempt to mug Snake were the episode's highlights and I wish the episode focused more on it than the lame graffiti storyline especially since the episode is titled after it.  Combined with some good stuff from Homer, and it is one of the season's best episodes, which is relatively not that great still.

Final Score: 7.1

Moe Letter Blues (S21, E21-462)

This story's biggest failing is the assumption Moe can actually talk to women.

Plot Summary
As narrated by Moe, he notices many married couples going through rough patches, including the Lovejoys, the Nahasapeemapetilons and, of course, the Simpsons.  Its the day before mothers day, and the family sees on a commercial an amusement park on an island to give mothers a break from her kids for the day.  Marge insists Homer take the kids while displaying no enthusiasm towards dealing with Homer's usual tomfoolery.  The next day, Homer, Reverend Lovejoy and Apu take their respective kids to the boat leading toward the island, when the three of them are given a letter at the last second from Moe.  It states that Moe plans on leaving town forever, and that he's leaving with one of their wives.  With the three unable to turn the boat around, they're stuck all day on the island trying to figure out whose wife it is.

Homer recalls a short time ago when Marge hosted a birthday party for her mother, but Homer ruins it for Marge by getting into another fight with Patty and Selma.  Moe was working there as a drink provider, so the theory is that Moe got to Marge after that party.  However, Apu remembers when his family went to Moe's to dry up from the rain, but after leaving a bickering Apu and Manjula realize they forgot a kid back at Moe's.  Manjula goes back by herself, and Homer was at the bar when Moe entertains Manjula and her left behind kid (before Marge took him home for her mother's party), so now its likely Manjula is the departing wife.  Homer and Apu then make Tim remember the Sunday after Marge's party, where the Parson helps the pastor realize that his relationship with Helen isn't as cheery as he had thought.  Inside the church, Moe and Helen get to talking, and outside Apu noticed Helen put her hand on Moe's knee.  So, in the end, none of three can figure out whose wife is being taken.

Finally, the day is at an end, and the husbands get to confirm whether its them or not.  Homer is the first to go, and sees Marge packing from a distance, but soon learns Marge was actually putting away painting supplies as she had been painting in front of her mother for the day.  Her mother helped Marge realize the fault of that fight wasn't Homer's, but Patty and Selma's and Homer and Marge make up, which Lovejoy and Apu can plainly see.  Next up is the Reverend, who upon returning to his room sees that Helen has packed up, telling Tim she's leaving... with him to Istanbul on the world's most romantic train.  Apu sees Tim and Helen kissing and realizes he must be the loser in this game, and upon returning to his apartment he sees Manjula and Moe sitting together.  However, Manjula states she wants to stay with Apu.  Moe then reveals to Apu, and later all three, that he noticed the three wives feeling down following their separate encounters, so he got in contact with Marge's mom to talk to Marge, convinced Helen to take the train to Istanbul with Tim, and then talked things over with Manjula.  Moe wrote the letter to the three of them to help them realize they hadn't been treating their wives right, as there's no better judge of that than an ugly, creepy, perverted, lonely bartender!  Still, Moe's plan worked out for the best.

Quick Review
This episode ended up being okay.  The plot was decently clever if not a little lacking in the humor department, but Moe provided a level of comic relief that kept the episode afloat.

Final Score: 7.0

The Sweetest Apu (S13, E19-288)

Now, see, if a guy tried this, it would be seen as creepy and/or sick.
Gotta admit though, that is pretty hot.

Plot Summary
At the Kwik-E-Mart, Apu is exhausted after Manjula brings the octuplets to the store.  The kids, plus a wife that isn't putting out, and Apu isn't feeling the best.  After they leave and Apu cleans the mess, Homer comes in to rent a beer keg for a civil war reenactment that's about to start.  About this time, the "squishee lady", Annette, comes in to refill the squishee machine, and Homer and Apu note that she may like him despite his current marital status.  After a rather inaccurate reenactment, Homer returns the now busted keg in hopes that he can get his money back.  He doesn't see Apu, but he hears giggling in a side room.  Curious, Homer takes a peek, and finds Apu makin' squishees with Annette, if you understand what I'm saying.

Homer backs away, all the way back home where Marge quickly figures out that Apu is having an affair.  Marge is particularly distraught over this, having hosted Apu and Manjula's wedding, and she and Homer decide to try and help Apu before Manjula finds out.  Homer (eventually) confronts Apu over what he saw, and Apu does feel shame over it and agrees to break up with the Annette.  However, Annette comes on to him again, and the two presumable have fun once more.  Manjula starts to catch on that something is amiss, and is able to grab security footage from the Kwik-E-Mart which shows Apu in the middle of his adultery.  Angered, she kicks Apu out.  Homer and Marge try one desperate ploy to get the two back together, but it doesn't work, and Manjula decides to file for divorce.

Manjula still has some feelings for Apu, and with the divorce lawyer she visits acting rather devilishly, she decides to hold off on divorce for now.  Marge is able to get each of the octuplets to ask for Manjula to get back with Apu, and she finally relents although she still wants Apu to suffer.  Marge comes up with an idea: create a list of rather off-the-wall tasks for Apu to complete that, once finished, will allow Apu to come back.  The tasks, which include breaking up with Annette as well as doing a rendition of My Fair Lady with the octuplets, are all eventually completed and the two reconcile with Homer watching rather creepily (again).

Quick Review
This wasn't that great of an episode.  In the now four episodes where she has had some focus, Manjula has yet to develop any sort of character quirk that would make her a funny, worthwhile character, and "Apu's arranged wife who gave birth to eight kids at once" isn't a funny character quirk.  In fact, I'd even say that her presence has limited Apu's comedic potential.  It sounds weird, I know, but really, just compare the episodes focused on just Apu with the ones that include Manjula: usually the solo-Apu episodes are much better.

There's a few other things I didn't like which kept this episode's score down.  Homer constantly backpedaling home was an okay gag, if a bit stretched out, but for him to peek into Apu and Manjula's home late at night on a ladder, and then after seeing them get it on start to hop backwards while on said ladder, well that's just stupid.  The collar-pulling gag is one of my least favorite gags and it makes several consecutive appearances in this episode as well.  Ignoring all of that, there are several jokes that do work, but it gets vastly overshadowed by everything that went wrong.

Final Score: 6.4

Eight Misbehavin' (S11, E07-233)

"Help, I need tungsten to live.  Tuuunnnnngsteeeenn..."

Plot Summary
The Simpsons go to a Ikea-like superstore, where they come across Apu and his wife Manjula.  The two spend a little time with Maggie, and come to decide that it's time for them to have a baby of their own.  Initial efforts to conceive a child prove fruitless, but Apu enlists Homer's help and eventually Manjula becomes pregnant.  Nine months later, Apu meets his first-born child - and then the other seven as Manjula has given birth to octuplets as Apu, Manjula and members of the Simpson family gave Manjula fertility drugs nine months ago.

The couple are initially thrilled with the babies, as is the local media, and companies are giving them free gifts for the miracle.  However, news turns up that a Shelbyville couple has given birth to nine babies, and suddenly all the media attention and free gifts are redirected to the nonuplets of Shelbyville, leaving Apu and Manjula with nothing.

Raising eight babies becomes overwhelming for the two, when a man comes over to talk to Apu.  The man, Larry Kidkill, offers the chance for Apu's babies to be raised at the zoo complete with nursing and care, with the only 'catch' being that the public are allowed to watch them as well.  With Butch Patrick around to help convince them, Apu and eventually Manjula agree to the terms.  Later, though, they learn that the babies are also contractually obligated to be part of an extravagant show, a detail that the parents overlooked but neither are pleased with.  They try to confront Kidkill, but are shown off the premises.

Apu again enlists Homer's help and the two sneak in at night and grab the eight babies.  They flee back to the Simpson place, but Kidkill finds them and demands their return.  Homer instead convinces Kidkill to let the babies go by having him be part of a new show, where he and Butch Patrick fend off venomous snakes (or robot snakes filled with venom).  Seeing Homer's trials, Apu and Manjula realize that raising eight babies can't be all that difficult.

Quick Review
This was an okay episode, for the most part.  It had its moments and a few jokes were pretty good.  Throughout the episode, though, I found it odd that the Simpson family kept being involved in Apu's affairs.  He gets Homer to help him conceive a baby, the Simpsons are there during the birth for some reason, they go see the baby show at the zoo, and them Homer helps Apu out at the end.  It seems like this Apu-centric story had the Simpson family kinda, I dunno, shoehorned into it, and it didn't really seem... natural, I guess?  Is that the word I'm looking for?  Probably not, but it still bugged me.

Final Score: 7.4

I'm With Cupid (S10, E14-217)

Its very clearly a star yet nobody recognizes it as such.

Plot Summary
Marge goes out to the Kwik-E-Mart late to build Bart's project (which Nelson ruins later on), and checks up on Apu's relationship with his new wife, Manjula, but Apu only mentions that she understands that Apu has to work at the Kwik-E-Mart nearly non-stop, though Apu does invite Marge and Homer over to his apartment for dinner.  At that dinner, Marge blurts out that, no, most American men do not work every day like Apu and, no, nobody works for 18 hours a day like Apu.  Angered that Apu cares more about work than her, Manjula gets into an argument with Apu, forcing the two Simpsons to leave for the night.

The next day, Homer catches Apu at wit's end over his relationship with his wife, but realizes that its only a week away to Valentine's Day, and decides to go all out on rekindling his relationship with her.  He puts out a note, in public, that he will do an act of love for Manjula every day up to Valentine's Day.  The acts are indeed extravagant, from a carriage ride to Apu covering himself in chocolate, to a singing parrot informing Manjula that she's invited to go to an opera with Apu.  These acts of love make taken women across Springfield jealous, and even upset that their men are cheapskates.  The men across town, including Homer, have had enough of Apu's antics and in response decide to find a way to sabotage Apu's final act of love (rather than, you know, do romantic things for their women instead).

A strike team is created consisting of Homer, Moe, Dr. Hibbert, Chief Wiggum and Flanders, though Ned gets tossed out for being too reasonable.  The remaining four tail Apu to the airport where they find Elton John.  Mistaking that he's part of Apu's act, they trick him into going in a cage, but then they learn that Apu's real plan is to have a skywriter take a plane to draw out the phrase "I ♥ U MANJULA".  Homer is able to get in the plane just as it take off, and he and the skywriter get into a fight.  The fight causes the spray can to explode, instead creating the phrae "I ♥ U *", with the five pronged star somehow being interpreted across town by women as a message meant for them, though Marge can't make the star out to be anything.  The fight continues, the plane descending at a rose garden where Homer is swarmed with prickly roses.  The plane flies low over the Simpson backyard, and Homer is able to fall out, somehow grouping the roses into a bouquet and landing in a kneeling position despite barely being conscious.  Marge adores the supposed gesture of love, and is happy with Homer once again.  Though the skywriting plan fails, Apu is able to recruit Elton John to sing for Manjula as the Kwik-E-Mart is closed for the remainder of the day.

Quick Review
This was a good episode overall.  Elton John's appearance was well done, I felt.  There wasn't much comedy going on during Apu's acts of love so the episode's score is hurt from that, but otherwise it was fine.

Final Score: 7.9

The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons (S09, E07-185)

Staff: "Wow, someone sure likes his kidney mush!"
Homer: "Damn right!"

Plot Summary
At a bachelor auction, its learned that Springfield's bachelor pool is... pretty bad.  One notable exception is Apu, who eventually makes himself known.  After listing his credentials, five ladies pool $900 to each have a date with Apu.  As he's having these dates, he comes to enjoy the bachelor life, telling Homer some stories one day at the Kwik-E-Mart.  Just then, he gets a letter from his mother, which tells him that its time for his arranged marriage, one that was agreed upon when Apu was still a child (this was touched upon in Much Apu About Nothing, back in Season 7).  Unwilling to lose the bachelor life he just gained, he gets help from Homer and decides to call his mother to tell her that he already married.  With that out of the way, Apu goes back to enjoying himself.

Some time later, again with Homer hearing Apu's stories at the Kwik-E-Mart, Apu is stunned to find his mother coming out of a taxi.  Realizing that she here to see Apu's "wife", he desperately has Homer come up with a new plan.  Homer casually comes up with the idea to have Apu pretend Marge is his wife, and goes home to get things ready.  Of course, Homer forgets about it, and only tells Marge just seconds before Apu arrives with his mother.  Put on the spot, Marge reluctantly agrees to go along with the charade, barely able to fill the kids in on what's happening as well.

Needing a place to hide, Homer finds that Moe is going on a vacation so instead he goes to the retirement home to visit Grampa.  There, the staff confuse Homer with another, otherwise unaccounted for patient, and Homer is more than happy to play the part.  While having fun eating mush, riding in wheelchairs and getting others to do the most basic tasks for him, Homer is eventually busted when the actual patient returns, having previously escaped to go on a bender.  Homer returns home to Marge, but a bit too early as Apu's mother sees Homer and Marge in bed, forcing Apu to admit that he does not have a wife and that he really doesn't want to go through with the marriage.  His mother understands but still forces Apu to go through with it, having his bride Manjula flown in as soon as possible.

Perhaps to make up for playing a part in the ruse, the Simpsons host the wedding in their backyard.  Apu continues to dread the event, but his attitude starts to change when he actually sees Manjula, who is a very attractive young woman.  The two quickly get to know one another, and despite Homer's last second attempt to sabotage the wedding, the two become wed.

Quick Review
I'll say this to start: the entire scene regarding the wedding was hardly funny.  Homer, and to a lesser extent Moe try to add humor to the scene but it just wasn't working for me.  Most of it was either making sure they portrayed the Hindu ceremony correctly or it was Apu and Manjula trying to make the situation more humorous than it was, and it just wasn't happening.

What saves the episode is the rather short subplot when Homer hides out at the retirement home and sees just how babied the residents of said home truly are.  Without this portion of the episode, which one could argue was thrown in to fill time, I have a hard time seeing this as being a good episode.

Final Score: 8.0