Natural Born Kissers (S09, E25-203)

Homer wanted danger, but not this much danger!

Plot Summary
Homer and Marge wish to celebrate their 11th anniversary, but with Grampa having gone to the wrong house there's no babysitter.  The two are forced to bring the kids to some gimmicky restaurant and neither really have a good time.  The two try to 'have fun' later that night, but neither can really get it going.

The next day, the motor for the refrigerator has burned out as Homer left the freezer door open overnight.  The two have to drive out to the boondocks to get a new one, but Homer gets the car stuck in some mud.  With a storm approaching, the two take shelter in a nearby barn.  A farmer checks it out for trespassers, but he doesn't find the two.  After he leaves, Homer and Marge get turned on from the danger, and 'trespass' on one another.

While that's happening, Bart and Lisa are stuck at Grampa's place at the retirement home, where they come across a metal detector.  Borrowing it, Bart tries looking around for treasure, though there's nothing of the sort in the backyard.  Searching elsewhere, the two kids find what appears to be an alternate ending for Casablanca.  Viewing it at the retirement home, they find this ending to be a happy ending, albeit in odd fashion.  An old man approaches the two and reveals that his studio had considered adding this ending to the movie because they were idiots, then pays the two $20 to rebury it along with a "killing spree" ending to Its a Wonderful Life.

Homer and Marge continue to get sexual thrills by 'snuggling' in public.  They push their luck by going to the minigolf place.  It was here over a decade ago where the two conceived Bart, and so they're back for more fun.  However, they do so in broad daylight with people watching.  Sure enough, a ball gets stuck in the obstacle the two are hiding in, and they're forced to escape.  Nobody sees them in the chaos, but the two are forced to leave their clothes behind, and are now running naked across town.

Fleeing from police, the two head for a car lot which has a hot air balloon, which they escape from.  In a desperate attempt to get clothes, Homer falls over, hanging on by a rope.  Marge lets the balloon down, but it lands inside a stadium during a football game, during "Camera Day" no less.  The two finally give up and let the crowd take pictures of them.  Later, the two try to explain why it happened to the kids, but while describing how all of those eyes were looking at their naked bodies, the two get excited again and make another trip to the minigolf place

Quick Review
I thoroughly enjoyed this episode.  Homer and Marge's naked adventure was the highlight of the episode, while Bart and Lisa uncovering and viewing the alternate ending was a treat as well.  There was plenty of laughs to be had, leaving Season 9 to end on an extremely strong note.

Final Score: 10

Lost Our Lisa (S09, E24-202)

...and Lisa never trusted Russians again.  The end.

Plot Summary
The school has the day off for teacher "conferences", so Bart and Milhouse take a walk around town.  They go into a prank shop, and Bart decides to buy a few novelty items which stick on the face, except not so well.  The two visit Homer at work to get some superglue to help the items really stick on there, which Homer willingly provides.

Lisa, meanwhile, is ready to go with Marge to the museum, which is having an Egyptian Treasures exhibit for just one more day.  Before they leave, though, Bart returns with the items on his face.  Marge is unable to pull them off, and is left with no other option but to take Bart to the doctor.  Lisa asks Marge if she could take a bus to the museum, but Marge quickly turns her down.  Undeterred, Lisa calls Homer instead.  Though Homer is also weary of Lisa taking a bus, Lisa cleverly tricks Homer into thinking a bus is okay just as long as he doesn't have to pay $200 for a limousine instead.

Lisa enthusiastic takes a bus, but it turns out she got her buses mixed up.  The bus she wants, the 22, only goes on Mondays, Wednesdays or Fridays.  As its either Tuesday or Thursday, she is on the 22A, which does not go to the museum.  She learns this too late, and is forced off at the last stop, some solitary road in the middle of nowhere.  Lisa attempts to make her way over to the museum, coming across several oddities along the way.

Homer realizes his error, and leaves work to find Lisa.  He goes to the museum, but finds she isn't there.  He checks nearby for Lisa, using a cherrypicker for a better look.  He does find Lisa, but the cherrypicker rolls loose, causing some mayhem but ultimately things turn out okay.  As Homer drives Lisa home, Lisa regrets making such a "stupid risk".  Homer is offended, as it was because he took a "stupid risk" with the cherrypicker that he found Lisa in the first place, and that risks are what make life worth living.  He then asks Lisa what she wants to do, and Lisa only wants to visit the museum, but it would be closed at that point.  Homer sees it as another risk-taking opportunity and takes her to the museum.

Bart is able to have the items removed from his face after Dr. Hibbert forces him to emit "terror sweat", which dissolves the glue.  They return home, but neither realizes Lisa is gone.  That night, Homer takes Lisa to the now closed museum, but they both are able to sneak in regardless.  They go to the Egyptian wing of the museum and enjoy it, even uncovering an previously covered secret with one of the exhibits.  Lisa thanks Homer for helping her take a "stupid risk", and the two walk off in song before they trip an alarm.

Quick Review
This was a pretty charming episode, one that really humbles Lisa.  Not that the humbling of Lisa is what makes the episode good, but her interactions with everything she comes across along with Homer showing her the good side of risk taking really makes for a good episode especially with how it ended.  The blip that was Bart's subplot was fine, and Dr. Hibbert's contribution was worth a few laughs as well.

Final Score: 9.3

King of the Hill (S09, E23-201)

Why haven't you started mountain climbing yet, look how easy it is!

Plot Summary
Homer's weight and inactivity comes back to haunt him one Sunday, as the family is invited to a church picnic.  The kids set up a game of capture the flag, and as Rod Flanders is able to convince his dad to play, Bart does the same with his dad.  Bart and Homer come up with a ploy to win the game, and it works as Homer grabs the flag, but gets too tired and collapses just before achieving victory.  The other kids realize Homer won't be getting back up and pelt him with deviled eggs.

Bart shows massive disappointment in Homer, and Homer vows to change that, deciding to lose weight though Marge is skeptical.  Sure enough, Homer struggles to even jog from his house to the Flanders' house, but his energy is renewed as he remembers its for Bart's sake.  Homer makes a stop at the Kwik-E-Mart, looking for something healthy, and sees a new item: Powersauce, an energy bar that harnesses the power of apples apparently.  Homer decides to buy it, then back on his jog he sees a gym.  There he meets Rainier Wolfcastle, and he helps Homer work out.  In two month's time, Homer is much, much more fit than he was before.

Homer reveals his results to the family, who are more than impressed.  Homer also reveals that his diet pretty much consists of Powersauce bars and nothing else.  One day at the gym, a pair of representatives from Powersauce go up to Wolfcastle, who sponsors the product, hoping he'll climb the Springfield Murderhorn, a large mountain of considerable height and danger where no man has reached its top, for the sake of promotion.  Rainier declines, but Bart claims his dad could do it because he eats nothing but the bar.  The two Powersauce guys realize the marketing potential, and agree to have Homer climb the mountain, Homer only agreeing to do so to make Bart proud.

Preparing for the climb, Homer is warned by Grampa, who reveals he tried to climb the mountain when he was young.  He was accompanied by a man named McAllister, but supposedly McAllister betrayed Abe and pushed him off the mountain to his death (which of course isn't true).  Homer ignores Grampa, like usual.  An event is held to support Homer as he begins his climb.  The Powersauce guys send along two Sherpas to help Homer with his climb.  However, its learned that the Sherpas drag Homer's sleeping body further up to increase his chances of success.  The plan backfires, as Homer wakes up in one instance and upon learning the scheme, fires the Sherpas.  Homer then calls the Powersauce guys to state that he'll finish the climb solo, much to the horror of the Powersauce guys.

The climb leaves Homer delirious, and he starts to hallucinate.  Still, he climbs, and he thinks he's reached the top, but there's still a bit more to go.  Homer gives up, and takes shelter in a cave.  There, he finds a frozen body, that of McAllister, who in his diary notes that it was Abe that was the betrayer, and even tried to bite McAllister.  Homer is saddened that both his dad and Bart's dad (him) are disgraces, and plants a "Simpson" flag at where he is in concession.  Upon planting the flag, Homer inadvertently causes the mountain to split in such as way where the tip of the mountain breaks off, leaving Homer standing on what is now the new top of the mountain.  Homer slides back down on McAllister's corpse to safety and tries to show Bart the flag, but its since flown off.  Still, Bart is proud of Homer though Homer also forgot his wallet at the summit.

Quick Review
This was another good episode with some good moments in it.  The two celebrity-voiced Powersauce guys, while not the first instance of the "corporate shills making a mess of things by not understanding basic empathy" character in the show, still reminds me of what's to come as the overabundance of that character type has yet to occur.  Homer's path to weight loss, the McBain bit at the beginning of the episode, and Grampa's involvement were some of the highlights of the episode.

Final Score: 8.8

Trash of the Titans (S09, E22-200)

When someone gets beaten up in front of everyone, you just know you're at a concert.

Plot Summary
After Love Day, another holiday devised by a corporation, the Simpsons have a lot of trash left over but nobody willing to actually take it outside.  Homer is finally forced to do it, but at the very last minute, and just as he runs the trash outside the garbage men drive right past him.  Homer yells at them some, but then they overhear him and get into a fight.  Ultimately, they cut off Homer's service, and Homer is more than happy to not have any trash picked up to prove he's in the right, though the rest of the family is less than eager to agree.

With trash piling up, its seems like things will only get worse before it gets better, however one morning its all gone.  Homer thinks he's won, but it turns out Marge sent in an apology to the sanitation department with Homer's signature.  Offended, Homer angrily goes to said department to have his apology retracted.  There, he and sanitation commissioner Ray Patterson get into an argument (though its mostly Ray trying to figure out what Homer's is trying to say/do), and Homer decides to run against Ray for the position.

Homer's biggest problem, though, is that he has no plan or mission, and as such his campaign isn't going anywhere.  Moe, though, gives him the idea of using a catch phrase and then going with it.  The two quickly come up with: "Can't someone else do it?"  Promising that garbage men will come into homes and pick up trash and clean up other necessities, Homer's campaign takes off.  Ray tries to have voters be reasonable here, but of course they aren't, and Homer's crazy promises gets him the position.  On his way out, Ray tells Homer that his general incompetence will cause him to crash and burn soon enough.

Homer still tries to fulfill his promises by ordering new uniforms and round-the-clock service for his garbage men, again explaining their increased presence via a song.  However, as one would figure, Homer runs out of money just a single month into office, and sure enough Homer is crashing and burning.  After getting 'help' from his family, Homer comes up with a solution to the budget problem: letting other cities dump trash inside an abandoned mine, paying Homer to do so.  Of course, this solution doesn't last long as the trash compiles and complies and soon there's too much under Springfield to bear, leaking and spilling out all over town.  Homer is quickly outed of his position, and though the town welcomes back Ray Patterson with open arms, he declines the position as he is enjoying watching the town pay for its poor decisions.  Left with no choice, Mayor Quimby reveals a "Plan B": relocating the entire town five miles away.  The natives weep, no, shriek over what was once Springfield.

Quick Review
I didn't enjoy this episode too much which is shame given that its the show's 200th episode.  Ray Patterson brought a realistic person into the fray that I actually enjoyed, and Homer's struggle with the garbage men early on was pretty funny, but a few other things, notably that whole scene at the U2 concert or how the episode ended, I didn't enjoy as much.

Final Score: 8.1

Girly Edition (S09, E21-199)

Lisa and Mojo, enjoying themselves for one reason or another.

Plot Summary
Under pressure to provide educational programming, a TV network decides to create a news program made by kids, for kids.  Lisa is given charge of the assignment.  Meanwhile, Bart's skateboarding antics draw the ire of Groundskeeper Willie, who confiscates Bart's board.  Getting some kind of vengeance, Bart grabs a tube that's spilling out creamed corn and tosses it into the furnace of Willie's shack.  It eventually overflows, causing Willie's shack to blow apart.  As Bart retrieves his skateboard, Willie knows it was Bart who caused the loss of his home and that Willie will get his revenge sooner or later.  A short time later, Bart has Marge press Lisa into having him join Lisa's news cast.

The show, "Kidz Newz", starts off with a yawn as Lisa unenthusiastically bores about some kind of library thing.  Bart, given Sports, is much livelier than Lisa, and after just the first broadcast a network executive makes Bart a co-anchor.  Later, Lisa protests the decision to the executive, noting that Bart is "kinda dumb", something Bart overhears.  Looking to prove himself, Bart visits Kent Brockman for advice.  Both sharing a common interest - showing up their sisters in the news business - Kent reveals a big secret to his success: human interest stories, tales that grip the human heart and soften the mind.  Bart learns these secrets well, and on the next telecast he starts his newest piece: Bart's People, which becomes an instant hit much to Lisa's dismay.

In the subplot, Homer notices that Apu has acquired a helper monkey after a robbery left him less than intact.  Intrigued, Homer goes to buy one, literally using Grampa as an excuse of getting a helper monkey.  Marge can't stand the monkey - Mojo - being in the house, and for a short time the monkey does help Homer out.  However, Homer's lazy, fatass demeanor quickly grows on Mojo, and soon its as lazy and fat as Homer is.  Marge demands Homer send it back so it can be helped, and Homer eventually does, though he makes a run for it before anybody can see it was him that left Mojo there.

Meanwhile, Lisa tries to do human interest stories of her own, but they aren't working so well (mostly because of a crazy cat lady, whose first appearance is this episode).  After Marge blurts out that Kidz Newz is Bart's show, Lisa has had enough, and sets up a plan to out Bart as a fraud.  She gives him a letter from a supposed viewer saying he lives at the garbage dump now.  Bart sees the opportunity, and decides to have Bart's People air live at the dump.  However, upon getting there, it turns out that person is Willie, still mad at Bart over the corn thing, and angrily begins an assault on Bart.  Lisa regrets what she's done and hastily goes over to the dump to stop Willie, doing so by quickly drumming up an interest story about Bart being the 'son' of today's culture.  Willie is touched by it, and leaves in tears.  Bart and Lisa renew their respects for one another, and agree that if they work together, Kidz Newz will be unstoppable.  However, Kidz Newz is quickly cancelled instead, having been replaced by some kind of advertisement cartoon.

Quick Review
Another solid entry for Season 9, I enjoyed the main plot somewhat, mostly around Bart's various antics, but Homer's sidestory with the monkey really took my laughs this time.  Its just a silly sidestory, and it has nothing to do with the main story, but the plight of poor Mojo really gave me a good time, and helped boosted this episode's score to what it is.

Final Score: 8.6

The Trouble with Trillions (S09, E20-198)

"American tax dollars will help our allies, who fought
so poorly, and surrendered so readily."

Plot Summary
Though Ned Flanders is able to send in his tax return on the first day of the year, it seems like nobody else even tries to get theirs in early as, on the final hour of tax day the post office is swamped with people who have yet to file.  This includes Homer, who doesn't realize that that forms he sent in last year don't count for this year.  In a panic, he balls up a poorly done tax return and is able to bounce it into the mail bin at the very last second.  However, the return then bounces its way into an audit bin, and Homer is in trouble.

Homer is taken in by the IRS but then handed over to the FBI, as now he is forced to work for them to pay off his tax fraud.  Wearing a wire, he's able to help the government bring in a couple of people for conspiracy, however his job isn't done.  Now they want Homer to go on a high risk mission, using an old video to explain it.  After World War II, President Truman ordered the creation of a trillion dollar bill to aid his European allies.  Delivery of the bill was tasked to Monty Burns, who as the richest American at the time was also the most trustworthy to deliver the bill.  Of course, the bill went missing, causing those European allies to act snooty to Americans forever.  Homer is tasked to go to Burns' mansion and find that bill.

Homer is able to gain access as the hounds have gone missing and Burns can't scald Homer properly.  As Homer tries to look around for the bill, Burns spots him, believing him to be a magazine writer.  Home goes along with that story and is given a tour of Burns' mansion.  At a special "patriot" wing of the house, there's a model of Burns himself holding a replica of the bill, having 'saved' it from being squandered.  He reveals the real bill to Homer, but just then the FBI agents come in to arrest Burns.  Burns goes on a tirade about how tax dollars go to waste all the time, which convinces Homer to knock out the two agents and grab both Burns and the bill before escaping.

The two grab Smithers from his apartment, who informs them that they should probably leave the country for awhile.  They're able to do so via a plane, and now agree to just find an island and buy it with the trillion dollars.  Burns comes across an island, but it turns out to be Cuba which he crashes the plane into.  Shocked that Batista is no longer in power, Burns demands to see whoever is in charge to discuss buying Cuba.

As it turns out, Cuba is bankrupt, and though Castro and friends had their fun with communism, they're willing to cede defeat to American.  Just then, Burns arrives with his money.  Castro is able to convince Burns to let him 'see' the bill, but suddenly it disappears on him and Burns is out a trillion.  On a makeshift raft back to America, the three agree that America is at least a better country than Cuba, and that Burns is more than ready to bribe a jury to escape his charges.

Quick Review
This episode goes in a couple of different directions, but once it settles into the trillion dollar bill plot it turns out to be an excellent episode.  The backstory behind the bill as well as Burns' adventure in Cuba make for the high points of the episode.

Final Score: 8.9

Simpson Tide (S09, E19-197)

Oh yeah, woo, down with capitalism, yeah!  Whooo!

Plot Summary
Homer is fired for yet another act of gross incompetence, his "its my first day" excuse failing to work.  Afterward, Homer sees an ad for the Naval Reserve.  Seeing a bunch of guys do nothing but drink beer and relax even during their one weekend of work a month, Homer decides its the life for him and enlists.  Barney decides to join too upon learning his friend Homer is going, Moe enlists after hearing his two best customers are going, and Apu enlists for the hell of it.  After a short period of boot camp, Homer becomes a member of the Naval Reserve.

Meanwhile, Milhouse somehow is able to start a trend by wearing an earring on his left ear.  Bart decides to go with the trend and gets one himself, but so does everyone else at school.  Further, Homer doesn't like Bart having an earring, and chides him for it.

Some time later, the Naval Reserve is going to have their annual war games.  Homer's previous 'experience' at the nuclear plant puts him into a nuclear submarine.  Just before he goes, Homer confiscates Bart's earring.

The captain of the submarine takes a liking to Homer and, perhaps because of ocean madness, makes Homer the 2nd in command.  The captain gets called out to clean out a torpedo tube, leaving Homer in charge temporarily.  Just then, the submarine is attacked by an enemy, forcing Homer to fire a torpedo at it.  However, the tube containing the captain is launched, leaving Homer in charge permanently.  The attack from the enemy leaves the sub without any navigation.  Homer attempts to take the sub home, but messes up a turn and somehow leads the sub into Russian waters.

Homer is branded a traitor for his actions, and Russia decides to out itself as still being the Soviet Union, creating nuclear panic.  Homer's sub is eventually found and attacked.  After Homer uses Bart's earring to plug a hole in the sub, he has the sub surface so he can face his attackers.  After using the "its my first day" excuse again, Homer is sent home for discipline.  However, as each member of the disciplinary committee is under investigation of their own, Homer is simply dishonorably discharged.  Homer thanks Bart for the earring, but now has to refuse a multitude of other requests from Bart.

Quick Review
This is a fairly good episode, having Homer sign up for something advertised as for the lazy and drunk, and the supposed return of the Soviet Union was good for a few chuckles as well.  The tiny subplot featuring Bart's earring that merged into the main plot wasn't much of a laugh, though, and though I can't recall whether this episode is the first instance of the series doing it, the dreaded collar-pulling gag makes an appearance, a gag that defines the Scully-era Simpsons rather painfully.

Final Score: 8.2

This Little Wiggy (S09, E18-196)

"Ah, you've done grand, laddy.  Now you know what you
have to do: burn the house down!  BURN THEM ALL!"

Plot Summary
The Simpsons go to some kind of fun Science museum, a Knowledgeum.  While the family has some fun there, Bart comes across not just Ralph Wiggum, but the full assortment of bullies.  They toss Ralph into a model ear, while forcing Bart to kiss a virtual ass.  Later, as Ralph is pried free from the ear, Marge takes pity on the poor boy, and decides to have Bart play with him, much to Bart's disapproval, but Marge forces him to spend time with Ralph anyway, so what can he do?

Ralph messes around with Bart's stuff too much, so the two go outside.  However, Bart sees the bully brigade near (videotaping a crime spree), and quickly hides Ralph while trying to play it cool.  The two decide to go to Ralph's house.  After Ralph shows him his stuff, including a rock where a leprechaun appears to tell Ralph to burn things, Bart gets Ralph to show him where his father, Chief Wiggum, keeps his police stuff.  The fun quickly ends when Chief Wiggum comes home and promptly tweaks his back suspecting a criminal in the closet where said police stuff lies.  After Bart apologizes, he sees Chief Wiggum lay down a key, learning from Ralph that its the police's master key.

That night, Bart stays over, and is able to sneakily take the key while Chief Wiggum sleeps.  He and Ralph then have fun around town, playing in a toy store and eating a cake in another establishment.  At this point, the two run across the bully brigade again, but now that Bart has in his possession the master key, the bullies find him to be alright.  Bart then suggests they have fun with it at a new destination: an abandoned prison.  Ralph starts to get scared, forcing Bart to take the key away, but immediately regrets doing so.  The bullies tire of Bart's wishy-wash, and toss the key into the prison before departing to pick huckleberries.  Ralph and Bart go into the prison to retrieve the key.  Upon doing so, they find the room that contains an electric chair, and have fun with it, but are forced to leave when a guard comes near.  Notably, they leave the safety to the chair off as they depart.

The next day, the two see on TV that Mayor Quimby is at the same prison, planning to put it back into use to scare criminals.  To prove his point, Quimby plans on putting himself on the chair to show crooks what awaits them, unaware that the safety to the chair is set to off.  Bart realizes this and tries to think of a plan.  Ralph tells Bart to ask Lisa, who is good at coming up with plans.  She decides to tie a note to Bart's model rocket stating that the electric chair is on, and shoots it toward the prison.  However, it misses its mark and flies to the nuclear plant, flying in Mr. Burns' office.  He reads the note, and upon realizing that the old prison has been receiving free power for so long, promptly turns it off just as Quimby has received a few volts of electricity.  Everyone praises Ralph for coming up with the idea to ask Lisa (Lisa is at first offended that she's getting no praise but relents when Bart tells her Ralph could use a win).  Ralph's leprechaun friend then appears to make sure Ralph understands that its time for some house burnin'.

Quick Review
This was a pretty good episode, with what is just the second episode to focus on Ralph Wiggum.  Ralph, I think, is a character that can't really sustain an episode by himself especially as his character becomes more and more of a caricature of itself.  Still, his dynamic with Bart works for the most part, and the few scenes involving the bullies were well done as well.

Final Score: 9.0

Lisa the Simpson (S09, E17-195)

Its like watching a bunch of bootleg Homer's together.

Plot Summary
Lisa becomes frustrated over a puzzle featured on the back of a box, more so because everyone else has figured it out.  Further, she forgets her locker combination as well as her agriculture project, so she's having a pretty bad couple of days, intellectually.  Grampa catches wind of Lisa's dilemma and doesn't think much of it as he presumes that she's beginning to undergo the effects of the "Simpson" gene, a defective gene that kicks in at about age 8 that turns all otherwise intelligent Simpsons into dopes.  It's happened to Grampa, Homer and Bart, and now the devastated Lisa is next.

In a subplot, old man Jasper freezes himself inside a fridge at the Kwik-E-Mart, with Apu not realizing the scheme until its too late.  Jasper wishes to see the future (and to have his pants changed depending on the trends of the time), and is still alive within.  Though Apu is initially dismayed over what's happened, he eventually turns the Kwik-E-Mart into a profitable freakshow, with Jasper the main attraction.  However, despite Apu's attempts otherwise, Jasper is able to thaw, his plan a technical success, and walks off to discover the 'future'.  Needing a new revenue stream, Apu turns the freak show into a Nude-E-Mart.

Meanwhile, Lisa realizes that there's no escaping her genes, and tries to accept the fact that she'll become 'a Simpson', but finds it too terrible to bear.  Instead, Lisa decides to use one final night to 'feed' her brain with culture.  That same night, she's able to get on TV for an 'editorial' as she lets off some steam.  At this point, the Simpson family understands what's going on with Lisa (especially as Grampa also lets them know about the Simpson gene).  Homer scoffs at the notion, and spends the night making calls.

The next morning, Lisa wakes up to find Homer, Bart, and every Simpson in the tri-city area.  Homer attempts to prove there's no such thing as the Simpson gene, but every Simpson he talks to is, in one way or another, a failure.  Lisa's hopes quickly fade, but Marge points out that Homer hasn't talked to a female Simpson yet.  Turns out, the few that are there have all become successful in their lines of high quality work.  One Simpson, a doctor, reveals that the Simpson gene is in fact real, but is on the Y-chromosome so it only affects male Simpsons.  Lisa is rejuvenated by the news, thanks Homer for cheering her up (and Bart is mostly unfazed by learning he's going to be a massive failure), and a short time later is able to figure out that puzzle she got stuck on earlier.

Quick Review
This episode, despite being in the latter half of Season 9, is the last episode to be run by Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein, who ran the show for Seasons 7 and 8.  Its all Mike Scully from here on.

The episode itself was good, not among the best of the season, but it holds it own.  The Jasper subplot was wonderful but brief, and the main plot has its moments but nothing too spectacular.

Final Score: 8.7

Dumbbell Indemnity (S09, E16-194)

"Must... kill... Moe... wheeeeeee!"

Plot Summary
Homer goes to Moe's after an unfortunate incident with the water heater.  As Homer praises Marge for dealing with all of his nonsense, Moe gets upset, having not gone on a date in years.  Homer realizes Moe's plight and decides to take him to a different bar to find a date, but Moe isn't so good with the ladies and botches his attempts.  As the two leave the bar, a flower girl by the name of Renee offers Moe a flower, and as the two talk, Moe is able to get her to go on a date with him (though she admits later it was initially out of pity).  The date is successful enough for the two to go on more dates, as Renee has taken a liking to Moe somehow.

Moe's extravagant spending on these dates, though, comes to an end when he runs out of money.  Believing that Renee has only stayed with him because of his money, Moe desperately tries to come up with a way to get more.  Moe comes up with a plan to have Homer steal his car and wreck it so he can collect $5000 in insurance, getting Homer to go along with it as a favor.  Moe also has a perfect alibi: he's going to a police charity event on board a yacht so there won't even be any police to catch Homer or even know he stole it.

The event starts, and Homer 'steals' the car (though he has to stop Snake from stealing it, a move he quickly regrets).  He goes to the railroad tracks to have the 10:15 train wreck it, but is sidetracked by a drive-in theatre showing of Hail to the Chimp, and drives in to watch that.  Homer falls asleep during the movie, and misses the train.  Desperate to find a new way to wreck the car, Homer decides to run it off a cliff and into a body of water, however he does so right near where the police yacht is and after failing to bail correctly, Homer goes in with the car.  Though he is able to escape and surface, Homer is arrested for grand theft auto with Moe a witness to what's happened.

Moe does get $5000 for the car, but Homer pleads with Moe to get him out.  Moe can't change his story or he'll be put in jail as well.  Moe finally decides to spend the money on Homer's bail, but before he does Renee shows him a travel agency advertising a trip to Hawaii.  With pleasing Renee his top priority, Moe decides to buy tickets to Hawaii instead of bailing Homer out.

Upon realizing Moe isn't going to bail him, and after an exercise program, Homer is able to find a way to escape, and does so with the intent of killing Moe.  Meanwhile, Moe is haunted by not bailing out Homer, and his guilt overcomes him.  He tells Renee everything that's happened.  Renee is shocked, of course, but is willing to forgive as Moe tries to set things right.  However, Moe then starts coming up with a plan involving corpses and burning down the bar, and Renee is done with him, leaving as soon as she can.  Moe accidentally sets the bar on fire afterwards, just as Homer arrives to kill him.  The struggle between the two does not last long as they both suffocate from the smoke.  Just then, Barney emerges from the bathroom, and as he sees the bar on fire, he acts: he takes two kegs of beer to safety, then goes back in for Moe and Homer along with more beer before passing out.  Homer and Moe come to and make amends.  With Moe's bar burning up, Homer decides to help out his friend: by relocating Moe's to Homer's house.

Quick Review
This episode starts off pretty slow but as Moe starts in on his crazy schemes the comedy starts to pick up.  Apparently, Hank Azaria (Moe's voice actor) and Helen Hunt (who voiced Renee) were actually dating in real life and even married some time later, but were divorced a year afterwards.  Just... wanted to bring that up, I guess.

Final Score: 8.4

The Last Temptation of Krust (S09, E15-193)

You know, babies have gone #2 in that thing.

Plot Summary
The Simpson family is invited to a charity comedy show, but Bart notices that Krusty the Klown isn't being featured.  He goes to the show early to talk to Jay Leno, and two are able to convince Krusty to go as it'll work towards his community service.  However, Krusty's material turns out to be pretty dated, making jokes about TV dinners and the Chinese, and even resorting to the flying dickey trick, and nobody finds the material funny.  After confirming as much in a review, Krusty decides to go on a massive bender, winding up passed out in the Flanders' yard.

Bart finds Krusty, and helps him get it together.  Krusty winds up in Bart's room, and upon seeing all of the crap with his face on it, he realizes that he's spend so much time selling out that he's never bothered to keep his material fresh.  Jay Leno is brought over to help, and he advises Krusty that people nowadays (or least in the late 90s) like situational comedy, jokes about stuff that occurs in everyday life.  Krusty tries to adopt a new routine based around that, but his attempts to get the Simpson family laughing fail miserably.  As such, Krusty decides to retire in a press conference.  During his, he goes on a tirade about how crappy modern comedy is.  It makes the reporters laugh, and Krusty realizes he makes a good insult comic, and returns to show business.

The 'new' Krusty does shows at Moe's and spends his time not just insulting things, but also making it a point to make fun of advertising shills.  Two such shills watch these shows, and despite what Krusty's been saying tries to have him promote their new SUV, the Canyonero, giving him a Canyonero for free.  Krusty seemingly turns down the offer, having become a changed clown.  However, in his next show, Krusty reveals that he eventually gave the truck a run and eventually agreed to endorse it.  This angers the crowd, and they throw bottles at Krusty before parting.  As Bart wonders why Krusty gave in again, Krusty learns that in his heart, he's more of a sell out than he ever was a comedian.  Krusty gives Bart a ride home in the Canyonero, which has an extended advertisement to conclude the episode despite how unsafe it actually is.

Quick Review
This was another fine episode though there was nothing really spectacular about it except the Canyonero ad at the end.  Jay Leno's appearance was well done, I felt, but the other comedians seemed thrown in and the episode would've been no different without them.  Otherwise, there were still plenty of jokes to carry the episode to the score it got.

Final Score: 8.6

Das Bus (S09, E14-192)

It is 2013.  Where the hell are the monkey butlers already?

Plot Summary
Both Bart and Lisa are part of the Model U.N., basically a junior version of the United Nations.  The group also includes Nelson, Milhouse, Ralph, and a few others.  They're going to go on a field trip for a state wide Model U.N. meeting, and Otto is tasked with taking care of the greatest natural resource: the school bus.  During the drive, Bart and Nelson try to have fruit roll up to the front of the bus in a race.  Milhouse intervenes by rolling a grapefruit, but it rolls under the brake pedal.  Upon reaching a bridge over a river, Otto tries to apply the brake, but the grapefruit splits open, squirting juice into Otto's eyes.  He loses control of the bus, and it falls into the river.

As the bus sinks, Otto tries to get out and swim for help, but is swallowed up by the current (he's eventually rescued by Chinese fishermen who plan to have Otto become a slave laborer).  The kids all escape the bus as well, but they end up on an isolated island somehow.  Though most of the kids freak out and blame one another (eventually settling on Milhouse for the grapefruit incident), Bart calms them down by envisioning a tropical paradise featuring monkey butlers and the like, and splits everyone up to get food and shelter.

While the kids are away, Homer notices that Flanders has started up a home business over the internet (I believe this is the first mention of the term since the series started).  Homer, not fully aware of what the Internet is, given it is 1998, decides anyway to start up an Internet business for quick money.  Somehow he gets internet ads rolling for his business, which not even he knows what is supposed to do.  Eventually Bill Gates notices the business and, rather than compete with an unknown, "buys him out" by having his goons trash Homer's setup.

The kids, of course, fail to gather proper food or shelter.  A short time later, Milhouse runs away from a supposed "monster", but nothing of the sort is around, and people give Milhouse crap over it.  Needing food, Lisa remembers that there was a cooler full of food on the bus.  Bart grabs Milhouse's inhaler and is able to retriever the cooler.  Lisa stresses they conserve the food, though, and ration it as much as possible.

The next morning, though, they find that all of the food is gone, with its remains laying around Milhouse, whose breath reeks of nacho cheese.  Most of the kids, led by Nelson, want to hurt Milhouse rather badly for this, but Lisa forces them to have Milhouse undergo a trial.  In said trial, with Bart as the judge, because there's no proof or witness that saw Milhouse (who theorizes that the "monster" ate it) actually eat the food, he is declared not guilty.  The verdict isn't enough to appease Nelson and company, and they chase after Milhouse, Lisa and Bart.

The three end up in a cave, now cornered by the others.  However, they stop as it turns out that the "monster" is in the cave as well!  As it turns out, the "monster" is only a boar, and with a bag of chips on its tusk the kids learn that it was the boar who ate the food (though Milhouse casually admits he still had a couple of sandwiches and a bag of Doritos).  Lisa notices that the boar must be surviving somehow, and sees that it licks slime off rocks for sustenance.  The kids are hesitant on living off slime, so instead they kill and eat the boar (except Lisa who just lives on slime).  Eventually they get saved by Moe somehow.

Quick Review
This was a pretty good episode, the interaction between the kids during the crisis really made for great viewing.  Homer's internet subplot, ignoring the fact that its really outdated nowadays, was brief and besides a couple of moments wasn't really that funny.  Still, the main plot was good enough to make this a very watchable affair.

Final Score: 8.4

The Joy of Sect (S09, E13-191)

Just how did Lenny avoid Movementarian conversion, anyway?  His love for Special K?

Plot Summary
Homer and Bart go to the airport to 'welcome' back the football team from the championship game (which they lost).  While there, Homer brushes off most of the religious nuts, save one: the Movementarians, who are offering a free weekend to their complex (where no beer is allowed, though Homer doesn't learn that until later).  Homer takes them up on it because, hey, its a free weekend.

The Movementarians are, of course, a cult that worships an all-mighty "Leader" who promises to take his followers to a planet called "Blisstopia".  During the weekend, the members of the cult stop at nothing to brainwash and weaken everyone that attends, but Homer unwittingly avoids falling prey to their tactics for most of the weekend.  Just as Homer seems to of avoided the trap, one member recalls Homer singing the 60s Batman theme, and uses it as a chant for the Leader.  Homer catches onto the tune, declaring his love for the Leader in the process.

Homer is now brainwashed and signs himself and his family over to the cult in change for his house and money.  He's not the only one: nearly everybody else in town is brainwashed and does the same.  Seems like only Reverend Lovejoy, the Flanders family, Mr. Burns and associates and Lenny escape the Movementarian march, even the media is bought out by the cult.  Bart attempts to try his array of pranks at the complex, but is immediately brainwashed.  Lisa tries to revolt, but she too falls when the prospect of getting good grades overwhelms her.  Even Maggie gets brainwashed fairly easily.  Marge is the last member of the family still herself, and upon realizing this, makes an escape from the compound.

She meets up with Lovejoy and tells him what's going on.  Nearby, Groundskeeper Willie promises to kidnap and deprogram Homer and the kids.  They drive back to the compound in a car like the one the Leader supposedly is driven around in, and tricks the family into the car.  They take them over to Flanders' house for deprogramming.  Marge is able to 'fix' the kids quickly enough, but when Willie tries to help Homer, Homer's descriptions of the Leader only brainwash Willie.  Ned offers some beer to Homer, who hasn't actually had any since the brainwashing.  Just as a drop touches Homer's tongue, a group of lawyers representing the Movementarians barge in and claim Homer, who says he wants to go back.

Back as the complex, Homer is greeted by his fellow brainwashed, but he reveals that the beer reawakened him, and plans to reveals the Leader as a fraud.  However, Homer uncovers what seems to be a large spaceship, with a booming voice declaring humanity doomed.  It tries to float away, but breaks apart, revealing the "Leader" on a flying contraption that goes down from all the money its carrying.  Marge is happy the family is free from brainwashing, but that doesn't last long after a night of FOX programming.

Quick Review
I enjoyed this episode quite a lot.  The town's quick conversion to Movementarianism, Homer's initial resistance to such, Burns' attempt at creating a cult for tax-exempt purposes, and Marge's attempts to 'cure' her family near the end all make up some of the better moments of the episode.

Final Score: 9.5

Bart Carny (S09, E12-190)

Sorry Chief, no Bills or Mr. Bribes around here.

Plot Summary
Marge tries to get Bart and Lisa to do yardwork, but both are too lazy to bother.  The two see truck for a carnival, but have no money.  Just when Marge thinks she's got them cornered, Homer pops in, gives them tons of money and takes them to the carnival.  The yard never does get trimmed.

The family has some fun at the carnival.  Homer makes note of the carnies there and note that they are kings among men.  Later, during a display of Hitler's car, Bart sneaks his way into said car and accidentally crashes it into a tree.  The owner of the carnival forces Bart to work in the carnival until the damages are paid for, but Homer gets jealous and has the owner let him work as well.

The following morning, the two meet up with the father and son of a ring toss game, Cooder and Spud respectively, that Homer had been conned in the previous night, though there is no ill will between either side.  Homer and Bart are forced to do degrading and half-disgusting work, until Cooder and Spud have to leave to attend an AA meeting.  Homer and Bart are asked to run the ring toss game in the meantime.  Things go okay at first, but when Chief Wiggum goes in for a bribe (because the ring toss game is clearly fixed), Homer is unable to pick up on it, forcing Wiggum to shut the game down and tow it away.  The game having been the home of Cooder and Spud, Homer feels bad and, honoring a supposed "Carny Code", invites the two to stay at their house for a time.

Marge, unnerved by the two staying, is less so after Cooder gives the family tickets to a glass-bottom boat ride.  After an enjoyable time there, the family returns home to find the locks changed and the windows boarded.  It turns out that Cooder and Spud have conned the Simpsons out of their house.  The family tries the police for help but Wiggum is still mad at Homer for botching that bribe and refuses to help.  After spending a day in Bart's treehouse and several plans involving fire not meeting Marge's approval, Homer comes up with an idea that doesn't involve fire.  He calls the two out by making a deal: if Homer can toss a hula hoop onto the house's chimney they have to leave, otherwise he'll sign the deed over to them.  Agreeing to the deal because Homer's chances of success seem pretty low, the two come out of the house.  Before Homer throws the hoop, though, he and the family quickly run inside, leaving a conned Cooder and Spud out on the curb.  The family then spends time trying to undo the damage left by the carnies.

Quick Review
This ends up being a very enjoyable episode, with good jokes and gags throughout the entire thing.  Homer unable to pick up on Wiggum's bribe request was my favorite part of the episode, though Bart and Lisa being tricked into going into a ride that was far less than advertised was good as well.  Bart Carny is one of Season 9's best episodes.

Final Score: 9.8

All Singing, All Dancing (S09, E11-189)

"Gonna paint your wagon, gonna paint it fine.
Gotta use oil-based paint, 'cause the wood is piiiine."

Plot Summary
Homer and Bart return from the video store, video stores still being profitable at the time.  Despite Marge and Lisa's recommendations, the two men rented a movie they would rather enjoy: a shoot 'em up western.  However, they are unaware that the movie they rented, Paint Your Wagon, is actually a western-themed musical.  After seeing Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin sing and dance, a disgusted Homer stops the movie, openly wondering why a perfectly fine wagon tale had to be ruined with song.  Just then, Marge and Lisa help start up a song as well to try and prove to both Homer and Bart that not only do they like to sing and dance (using clips from previous episodes to show as much), but that the entire towns loves to as well (using clips from previous episodes to show as much).

After the first set of clips, Snake jumps in through an open window, planning to take the Simpsons hostage, however when they sing about their predicament, Snake can't handle it and leaves.  However, after the second batch of clips, Snake returns, having gotten a tune stuck in his head because of the Simpsons, and plans to shoot them to make it stop.  However, he forgot to load his gun, and leaves again to get some ammo.  After the final batch of clips, where Homer and Bart are convinced that musicals are not so bad (and not nearly as bad as when a long-running series does a cheesy clip show), Snake returns yet again to end his madness.  However, the family has finished up, and are no longer singing.  Snake no longer holds a grudge and takes his leave again.  Marge closes the window but then it gets shot at.  Snake then continues to shoot up anybody playing a song even during the credits.

Quick Review
All Singing, All Dancing is the fourth clip show of the series, and like the two that preceded it, this one comes with a theme: musicals.  The Paint Your Wagon scene to set up the clip show, I thought, was excellent, by far the best part of the episode.  I don't know who voiced Lee Marvin, but hearing him do his singing lines was just hilarious.  The continuous plot line involving Snake was a nice touch as well to break up the monotony of the clips.  The clips themselves were okay for the most part, but most of the episode's good will came from its new content.

Final Score: 8.5

Miracle on Evergreen Terrace (S09, E10-188)

Can you just feel the love?

Plot Summary
Its Christmas Eve, and Homer does his shopping last minute albeit in a clever manner.  That night, Marge insists the family wake up at 7:00 am to celebrate Christmas, and no sooner, having confiscated all the alarm clocks to prevent early risers.  Bart comes up with a plan, though, by drinking 12 glasses of water before going to sleep, so that he'll wake up early to use the bathroom.  The plan works like a charm, and after a quick stop to the bathroom, Bart is at the tree nearly two hours early.  He opens up one present: a remote controlled firetruck loaded with features, however he accidentally rams it into an outlet, catching it on fire.  Losing control, Bart accidentally drives the flaming toy into the plastic tree, setting it and the presents underneath aflame, melting it into a pile of goop with the presents caught inside.

Fearing trouble, Bart takes the hardened mass outside, and buries it with snow.  By the time he's finished, though, its a minute after 7:00, and the family has just woken up to witness their missing tree and presents.  Lisa wonders what Bart was doing outside, and a panicked Bart is able to come up with a lie: that some burglars took the tree and the presents.  The family is devastated, and trying to cheer up already cheerful seniors don't help either as everyone else seems to be enjoying their Christmas.

Homer goes to Moe's, where he sees a news report on TV about what happened.  That night, Marge brings him home to a miracle not unlike Its a Wonderful Life: the town has pitched in to help the family recoup their losses, with the donations totalling around $15,000.  Bart is starting to worry about what's happened, especially as a couple of orphans try to give him a dollar.  Though the family plans on just replacing what was lost, the townsfolk are able to convince them to spend the money irresponsibly.  The family goes ahead and buys a new car, but a short time later Homer crashes the car into a nearby frozen lake after slipping on an icy road.

Bart's guilt eventually overwhelms him, and he reveals the truth of what happened to the family.  Before Homer and Lisa can tear him apart too badly, Kent Brockman appears for a follow up story on the 'robbery'.  Just then, the dog pulls up a piece of the tree ruins, the snow above it having melted some.  The lie is exposed, and though Bart tries to take full responsibility, and though the family tries to claim they didn't know Bart had lied until after receiving and blowing the town's money, the town now hates them anyway.

Having become social pariahs, the family realizes that the only way people will stop hating them is if they get their money back.  Not having $15,000, the family tries to win some on Jeopardy, but Marge not only loses but is $5200 in the hole, money she was supposed to pay back to Alex Trebeck.  As the family flees back to Springfield, they find the town back at their house rather joyous.  As it turns out, everyone didn't feel like being mad at the Simpsons for much longer, so they decided to 'even' the debt by pretty much cleaning out the Simpsons house of everything.  The Simpsons are left with absolutely nothing except the house, each other... and a washcloth that they find a way to have fun with.

Quick Review
I did not like this episode too much.  It starts off promising enough, and even after Bart wrecks the tree the episode still has potential, but once the town got involved with giving money to the family and most of the stuff afterwards I just was not enjoying the episode much aside from the Jeopardy bit.  I just didn't like the direction the episode took, nor how it ended, so the score suffers heavily as a result.

Final Score: 6.7

Realty Bites (S09, E09-187)

I need to buy a house... right after I buy some lumber.

Plot Summary
On a lazy Saturday, Marge grows tired of sitting around and doing nothing.  She convinces Homer to take her somewhere, and Homer does... to a police auction.  There, Homer is able to buy a car, a hot rod to be specific, but its original owner, Snake, sees this and promises to kill Homer for buying it.  Homer takes Marge on a crazy drive in it, but before long she demands he let her out.  Walking home, Marge sees Lionel Hutz putting a house up for sale.  Turns out, Hutz has picked up a new career in real estate.  Marge realizes how good it could feel to help people find a home, and decides to take it up as well.

After passing the test with relative ease, Marge gets a job at the same real estate company Hutz works at.  On the job, though, Marge's truth-telling tendencies do not aid in her attempts to sell less-than-premier homes.  Though she's pleased to hear that people like her frank honesty, she then learns that sometimes one has to 'bend' the truth in order to sell homes, and furthermore if Marge isn't able to sell a home within a week she gets fired.  Meanwhile, Snake sees Homer drive his car near the prison, and noticing that Homer has failed to fill the tank with premium gas, Snake has had enough, and abuses the jail's honor system to leave via a back door.

Later, Marge tries to sell a home to the Flanders, but once again her honesty prevents a sale.  Near the end, the two spy a wonderful house.  Marge learned earlier that this house is where a famous murder took place some time ago but has yet to be resold because of that.  However, the Flanders seem unaware that its that house, and so Marge is barely able to withhold that information, and is able to sell the house to the Flanders.

However, it doesn't take long for Marge to regret her decision, and the day after the Flanders move in to the house, she visits them and tells them the truth about the house.  At the same time, Snake ambushes Homer in the car, and the two get into a fight while the car is still moving.  Chief Wiggum is woken up as they pass by, and gives chase.  The Flanders realize that, yes, they did buy the murder house, but they're even happier than they were before, and are more than willing to stay there.  At that moment, Homer and Snake crash their car into that very house, and Wiggum does the same, causing the house to collapse.  Ned then gets his deposit check back from Marge, and tears it up.

With the real estate company assessed damages for the house, hot rod and police car, not to mention Marge giving back the deposit check, Hutz, who is apparently the boss at this company, fires Marge.  Though Marge is sad she wasn't able to bring in even one check, Homer eases her pain by taking her to the unemployment office, and everything is okay.

Quick Review
This is a sad episode for a specific reason.  This episode features the last speaking appearance of Lionel Hutz, as his voice actor Phil Hartman would die five months after this episode aired (he has one final speaking appearance as Troy McClure in Season 10).  So this episode having Lionel Hutz move out of law, where he was pretty incompetent, to real estate where he seemed to be doing okay, seems like a fine send off to a character that was well liked for the six plus seasons he was around.  Gil Gunderson, a rather inept real estate worker who was introduced in this episode, would have the proverbial torch passed to him as the inept lawyer in future seasons, though Gil would also be featured being inept in other things as well.

As for the episode itself, I liked it quite a bit.  Homer's hot rod sidestory was brief, but Snake's antics helped make it enjoyable.  The main plotline was fine, getting better when the Flanders became involved in the story, and for his final speaking appearance, Lionel Hutz was pretty good as well.

Final Score: 9.0

Lisa the Skeptic (S09, E08-186)

More plausible than it being an angel!

Plot Summary
Homer takes the family to the police station, where Homer believes he's won a boat giveaway and is to pick it up at the station.  However, the boat giveaway is a trap set up by the police to catch criminals, though Homer's only crime is not paying some parking tickets.  On the way back, the family notices a new mall being built.  Lisa realizes that its being built over a spot where a quantity of fossils had previously been found.  Later, Lisa goes over to complain, where two men overseeing the mall's construction "agree" to let Lisa undergo one last dig to ensure there are no more fossils.

Apparently owed a favor by Principal Skinner, the honor roll students along with the detention students help Lisa with the dig, though for nearly the entire time there are no finds.  Just as people start packing up, Lisa uncovers a skull.  As people around town stop by to see what's going on, Lisa eventually uncovers an entire skeleton, and attached to it are a pair of wings.  Quickly, word goes around that its an angel, though Lisa finds the notion preposterous.  While the townsfolk ignore Lisa and argue about who should own the supposed angel, Homer sneaks away with it, planning to store it away.

With nearly everyone in town wanting to see the angel, Homer decides to let them for a small fee.  Lisa wants someone to take a look at it to see whether its legit or not, but Homer refuses now that he's making money off it.  Lisa can't believe that so many "morons" persist that its really an angel, and she especially can't believe that Marge believes in it as well.  One night, Lisa chips off a toe bone and the next day gives it to a scientist for study.  The day after that, Lisa proclaims to everyone that some proof is about to be shown, much to their dismay, but the scientist runs up only to state that the study was 'inconclusive'.

Lisa tries to be reasonable on TV later on, but it only incites riots across various scientific institutions across town.  Lisa has had enough of this, and grabs Bart's crowbar with the intention of destroying the angel.  However, the angel has disappeared.  The townspeople arrive to take the angel away, but upon seeing it gone and Lisa holding the crowbar, they arrest Lisa and hold a trial that, on a grand scale, will settle Science vs. Religion.  Just as the trial starts, the angel is located on top of a hill, now bearing the phrase "the end will come at sundown", causing gloom and doom, though Lisa is again skeptical.

The Simpson family dress up for the "occasion", though Lisa remains adamant that nothing will happen.  With the entire town with the angel, the sun sets.  Nothing happens at first, but as Lisa begins to gloat, a booming voice calls for silence, and the angel floats into the air.  The angel calls for the end (at this point, even Lisa is freaking out), the end of high prices!  The angel, on wire, is pulled toward the previously mentioned mall, now having been fully built.  Turns out, the angel was a publicity stunt set up by those two guys Lisa confronted early on.  Lisa is outraged that they would toy with the town's faith like they did, but nobody else is that outraged as the need to save on various goods overwhelms them.  The scientist reveals that he never bothered to actually run the test, and Lisa and Marge reconcile.

Quick Review
You know, I had quite a few laughs throughout the episode, particularly involving the boat scam and during the parts where the townspeople were freaking out, and its from these laughs that the episode scored as high as it did.

Yet, throughout this episode there was this uncomfortable feeling I felt the entire time.  This was a Lisa episode, one where her "I'm right and everyone who doesn't agree suuuuuuuucks" attitude is prevalent.  The Science vs. Religion debate by itself didn't bother me any, but the heated debates between Lisa's science and everyone else's religion really didn't make for good laughs.

Final Score: 8.1

The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons (S09, E07-185)

Staff: "Wow, someone sure likes his kidney mush!"
Homer: "Damn right!"

Plot Summary
At a bachelor auction, its learned that Springfield's bachelor pool is... pretty bad.  One notable exception is Apu, who eventually makes himself known.  After listing his credentials, five ladies pool $900 to each have a date with Apu.  As he's having these dates, he comes to enjoy the bachelor life, telling Homer some stories one day at the Kwik-E-Mart.  Just then, he gets a letter from his mother, which tells him that its time for his arranged marriage, one that was agreed upon when Apu was still a child (this was touched upon in Much Apu About Nothing, back in Season 7).  Unwilling to lose the bachelor life he just gained, he gets help from Homer and decides to call his mother to tell her that he already married.  With that out of the way, Apu goes back to enjoying himself.

Some time later, again with Homer hearing Apu's stories at the Kwik-E-Mart, Apu is stunned to find his mother coming out of a taxi.  Realizing that she here to see Apu's "wife", he desperately has Homer come up with a new plan.  Homer casually comes up with the idea to have Apu pretend Marge is his wife, and goes home to get things ready.  Of course, Homer forgets about it, and only tells Marge just seconds before Apu arrives with his mother.  Put on the spot, Marge reluctantly agrees to go along with the charade, barely able to fill the kids in on what's happening as well.

Needing a place to hide, Homer finds that Moe is going on a vacation so instead he goes to the retirement home to visit Grampa.  There, the staff confuse Homer with another, otherwise unaccounted for patient, and Homer is more than happy to play the part.  While having fun eating mush, riding in wheelchairs and getting others to do the most basic tasks for him, Homer is eventually busted when the actual patient returns, having previously escaped to go on a bender.  Homer returns home to Marge, but a bit too early as Apu's mother sees Homer and Marge in bed, forcing Apu to admit that he does not have a wife and that he really doesn't want to go through with the marriage.  His mother understands but still forces Apu to go through with it, having his bride Manjula flown in as soon as possible.

Perhaps to make up for playing a part in the ruse, the Simpsons host the wedding in their backyard.  Apu continues to dread the event, but his attitude starts to change when he actually sees Manjula, who is a very attractive young woman.  The two quickly get to know one another, and despite Homer's last second attempt to sabotage the wedding, the two become wed.

Quick Review
I'll say this to start: the entire scene regarding the wedding was hardly funny.  Homer, and to a lesser extent Moe try to add humor to the scene but it just wasn't working for me.  Most of it was either making sure they portrayed the Hindu ceremony correctly or it was Apu and Manjula trying to make the situation more humorous than it was, and it just wasn't happening.

What saves the episode is the rather short subplot when Homer hides out at the retirement home and sees just how babied the residents of said home truly are.  Without this portion of the episode, which one could argue was thrown in to fill time, I have a hard time seeing this as being a good episode.

Final Score: 8.0

Bart Star (S09, E06-184)

Despite what Marge says, that wink could be seen from miles away.

Plot Summary
Its been determined that Springfield's denizens are mostly overweight, especially the children.  To combat the latter, parents have their children sign up for pee wee football, including Bart.  With Ned Flanders as the coach, he quickly determines that Nelson is by far the best player and as such becomes the team's quarterback.  Teaching positive attitudes and such, Flanders has the team on a roll (thanks mostly to Nelson), but Homer at every game takes the opportunity to heckle Flanders whenever possible.  Ned reaches a breaking point when Homer throws a can of beer at him.  After hearing from Homer that anybody with half a brain could be a better coach, Flanders attempts to test that theory by giving the job to Homer.

As the new coach, Homer is initially strict with Bart, but Marge reminds him of how poorly Homer's father was to him back when he was younger.  Promising not to make the same mistake, Homer decides to be nicer to Bart and meaner to Grampa.  However, Homer ends up being a little too nice for Bart.  Not only is Bart one of the very few to avoid Homer's waves of cuts, Bart is also made the team's quarterback despite how well Nelson has been playing.  Sure enough, the next game Bart has no idea to play quarterback and he and his team suffer its first loss in humiliating fashion.  Nelson and the others threaten Bart that if he screws up one more game, he's as good as dead.

Bart tries desperately to train, and seems to have fortune on his side when Joe Namath pops in, his car having broke down.  Before Namath can actually give any advice, though, his car starts up back, suffering only from vapor lock, and Joe takes his leave.  Left no better than before, Bart gets advice from Lisa to fake a devastating injury.  Homer buys it the next day, and calls on Nelson, but only to have him pass a forfeiture notice to the ref.  Bart has enough, and flat out quits the team, angering Homer enough to cut him as well.

With Nelson back as the team's quarterback, the team goes on a winning streak again (including a victory over Arlen, which upsets a particular yet familiar group of its fans) and reaches the championship game.  Homer sees Nelson and the other kids go home with their respective fathers, making him regret what he did to Bart.  He finds Bart at the Kwik-E-Mart and apologizes to him for encouraging him.  Bart agrees to come back to the team as his original position of tackle.

During the championship game, Nelson is dominating yet again but Chief Wiggum arrives with an arrest warrant for Nelson.  Bart, though, is more than willing to fill in for Nelson... in the police car as Bart pretends to be Nelson.  The ploy works as Nelson gets the winning score, giving Homer's team the championship.  Bart, meanwhile, learns he'll be going to jail for a long time over charges of burglary and arson.  Joe Namath warns the audience about vapor lock, and Homer cuts everybody in the credits except for Namath.

Quick Review
The episode starts off a bit slow but picks up when Nelson becomes a focus, as does Homer when he becomes coach of the team.  The various things that happen at the end, from Bart taking Nelson's place, Namath's warnings about vapor lock, and the Homer cutting nearly everyone in the credits, give the episode a strong finish.

Final Score: 9.3