Luca$ (S25, E17-547)

This is like Lisa's "watchin' mah stories" and Bart's "ah wash
mahself with a rag on a stick" all in one.  Except not as good.

Plot Summary
Lisa sees a kid at school trying to eat a whole pizza but failing.  Learning that the kid, Lucas, is trying (and failing) to become a competitive eater, Lisa can't help but feel somewhat sorry for him, and gains a desire to hopefully change him.  Lucas, whose "competitive eater" name is Luca$ (Luca-dollar), comes over to the Simpson house to hang out with Lisa.  His vacant, glutenous nature quickly gains the mockery of Patty and Selma, who inform Marge that Lisa must be interested in Lucas because he acts a lot like Homer and that, because daughters marry their fathers apparently, she may end up marrying that fat slob because her father is also one.  This worries Marge immensely.

Meanwhile, Bart returns to his treehouse to find the criminal Snake hiding out.  Somewhat unwilling to let Snake stay in his treehouse, Bart is forced to make a choice when Chief Wiggum arrives to ask Bart about Snake's whereabouts.  Bart decides to mislead Wiggum, and thus saves Snake's skin.  As thanks, Bart starts getting gift after gift, presumably from Snake stealing it and leaving it for Bart to find.  He and Milhouse are okay with this until Snake steals Milhouse's tablet.  Out for revenge, Milhouse rats Snake out to the police somehow, and Snake is set to be executed under a 'four balls and you walk.. to the chair!' policy.  Bart is able to come to Snake's rescue at jail and helps Snake free again, and Snake promises he won't need Bart's help again as the next time he's out, he's committing suicide by cop.

Marge expresses her concerns about Lisa to Homer as carefully as she can, but Homer is still slighted by the implied insult that she doesn't want Lisa to end up with someone like him.  Still, Homer takes up Marge's suggestion of taking Lisa out to dinner to somehow improve her standards in men, but remains hurt over Marge's words.  At the dinner, Marge arrives to apologize to Homer, and while Homer is still upset over the words, Marge makes it up to him by dressing up in a sexy dress, so Homer is okay now.  Homer finishes up his dinner with Lisa, and with Lucas giving up one crazy dream for another, Lisa may have given up on him.

Quick Review
The plot sounds awful, and the Minecraft reference of an opening was cringe to the max, but the episode as a whole was still pretty decent when it came to comedy and jokes.  I'm a bit surprised between this episode and the last one that despite terrible premises, the episodes have still fared okay.  I hate to use this phrase because every time I use it the next episode is always awful, and the next episode, "Days of Future Future" sounds really awful, but this might be a sign the show is on a rebound, as the jokes are still decent enough to overcome bad writing.  I'm going to regret saying that next week, just you wait.

Final Score: 7.1

Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart (S23, E15-501)

The question mark really makes it a thinker.

Plot Summary
Homer, for once, is ready for Marge's birthday.  He's getting her a food processor she likes, which is endorsed by a cook she likes, and Homer is going to a new grocery store nearby where the cook will be singing stuff so he can have the cook sign Homer's present to Marge.  While at the new store, Homer meets the cook who tells Homer she'll call Marge during her live show as an added birthday bonus.

Meanwhile, Apu is there checking to see just how many people are going to this seemingly reasonable store rather than the cesspool that is the Kwik-E-Mart, and after learning most of them are okay with leaving Apu's business, he goes nuts.  At a later point, the store hires a seemingly reformed Snake, who in an ironic twist, hyuck, gets held up by Apu desperate for cash, though the experienced Snake calms Apu down.  Calmed yet defeated, Apu begins to close down his store when Manjula gives him good news: the new store is forced to shut down after its learned it was replacing chicken products with monkey meat.  Apu's business is saved and he can go back to lamenting his family.

Back to Marge's birthday, its going pretty swell.  Bart gets her a live rabbit not unlike one she had as a little girl, but Homer is thrilled to finally be ready for a birthday for once.  Homer readies for the phone call from the cook, but it never arrives.  Several hours later, Homer in frustration reveals his now ruined plan, but upon trying to angrily call the cook, he finds the phone isn't working.  Slowly, the family learns that the new rabbit ate the phone's wires just before the call was supposed to take place, and that the cook had actually called Marge several times, eventually getting so angry over supposedly being shunned she openly mocks Marge on her show.  Marge's birthday is once again ruined, and Homer pins the blame on Bart for bringing in the rabbit in the first place, shoving him into the rabbit's cage as punishment, then forcing him out when Bart enjoys himself in there.

Bart particularly doesn't like how Homer treats him here, and decides to get back at him by displaying graffiti across town with part of Homer's face with the word 'dope' underneath it.  With Milhouse his willing lacking, Bart litters the entire town with hundreds of dope tags, nearly swallowing the entire city.  The next day, Homer is unaware he's the target of the graffiti, and on TV Chief Wiggum basically taunts the vandalizer to do something even bigger.  Bart decides to do just that, but in the process he and Milhouse are confronted by four adults who reveal themselves to be "street artists", led by Shepard Fairey, an actual guy.  They convince Bart that his work is real art and that he should display it in a museum.  Bart agrees to do so, but later Milhouse's bumbling leads to Homer finally figuring out who the man in the dope graffiti is: him.

Homer can't even muster the anger to strangle Bart, simply saddened that Bart views him the way he does.  On the night of the museum unveiling, a remorseful Bart sprays Homer's car, increasing its value, and Homer makes up with his son.  However, the museum display was actually a police trap, set up by Wiggum with help from Fairey, who works with the police because he's a sellout or something, I dunno.  Marge convinces Wiggum not to arrest Bart, but Wiggum still needs to punish Bart for the act, when Homer comes up with a perfect solution: putting Bart back into the rabbit cage where he can sign autographs for his show even though its technically phony.

Quick Review
Season 23 finally has a solid episode, and that's despite the fact that there were two things working against it: the Game of Thrones couch gag that I really couldn't care less about, and the inclusion of the "street artists" whose appearances did little to improve the lackluster main plot with Bart.

However, I was happy to finally see Apu do something funny again.  Its been so long, it seems, since Apu has been involved in any Kwik-E-Mart related shenanigans, as nearly every joke involving him during the past several years has involved his less than pleasant wife and kids, and I mean 'less than pleasant' from both his point of view as well as a comedic one.  In this episode, Apu going nuts over the new store and his attempt to mug Snake were the episode's highlights and I wish the episode focused more on it than the lame graffiti storyline especially since the episode is titled after it.  Combined with some good stuff from Homer, and it is one of the season's best episodes, which is relatively not that great still.

Final Score: 7.1

Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes (S20, E01-421)

After listening to Ned's bible retellings for hours, Homer wishes he hadn't skipped bail.

Plot Summary
Its St. Patricks Day, but Mayor Quimby has made it an alcohol-free parade given how destructively drunk the town can get on the holiday.  Still, somehow, a group supporting the Northern Irish arrive and the regular Irish get into yet another brawl with them, causing all sorts of chaos.  In the confusion, some orphans attempt to steal a basket of cupcakes Marge had prepared, but some guy comes and saves them.  Marge gives the guy one as thanks, and he comes to love it.  He invites Marge to his bakery where he plans on having her bake for his store.  Marge gladly accepts.  Homer, meanwhile, gets arrested for partaking in the brawl.  Because of his arrest history, Homer is put on $25,000 bail.  He gets help from a bail bondsman, who promises to pay off Homer's bond just as long as he attends his court session.  Homer threatens not to go, when he comes across a bounty hunter, a tough looking guy who captures people who skip bail.  Homer thinks that's pretty cool, and since he's been fired from the plant following his arrest, Homer decides to become a bounty hunter himself.

At the bakery, Marge learns in horror that its actually an erotic bakery, but after failing to come up with any reasons against such a thing, she relents and decides to bake for it anyway.  Meanwhile, Homer's first perp is Snake, who fires a bullet at Homer after a short chase.  Ned Flanders inadvertently deflects it while carrying a pane of bulletproof glass for his store, then talks Snake down long enough for Homer to subdue him.  Later, Homer convinces Ned to help him catch bail skippers, and Ned agrees on the condition that Homer does his job lawfully.  The two become a dynamic pair for awhile, however Homer's nature soon gets the better of him.  After a wild chase to nab Fat Tony, which involves Homer ramming his car into the train Tony had escaped to, Flanders chides how Homer handled it, and the two break up their partnership.

Back home, Homer learns of the secret behind Marge's new baking job, but forgives her because, hey, its erotic cakes.  Soon, though, it turns out Homer missed his court date, and though Flanders wants to quit the business, he decides to catch Homer rather than leave it to another bounty hunter.  Ned attempts to chase Homer in a rather dynamic series of scenes.  It leads up to the two standing on top of a lifted steel beam, but Ned stumbles and is hanging on just barely.  Homer remembers the good times he had with Ned and decides to save him, but he, too, falls over and the two fall into a pool of hardening cement.  Homer is captured by the regular police and sent to prison, but Marge has paid for Homer's release the next day, giving him a nice, regular cake to tide him over until then.

Quick Review
Season 20 starts off with a whimper.  Marge's erotic baking sidestory had potential, but nothing really happened with it, nothing all that funny anyway, and it just fades away near the end.  Homer and Ned's bounty hunting wasn't much funnier, and the chase sequence near the end was pretty worthless for comedy.  This wasn't much of an episode.

Final Score: 5.8

I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (S19, E04-404)

Remember, all those people in the background have chosen to ignore this scene.

Plot Summary
Lisa is going to be given the award for "Student of the Millennium" for some reason tomorrow, and Marge is going out of her way to make sure Homer attends the ceremony, even doing so less drunk the usual.  With Marge's urging, Homer is actually able to make it to the ceremony nearly two hours early.  Meanwhile, Marge makes a stop at the bank where, while she's there, a pair of men attempt an armed robbery.  Although Homer initially gloats over being at Lisa's thing while Marge isn't, he quickly worries when he finds out the truth.  One of the armed robbers freaks out and escapes, leaving just one guy left to leave everyone there hostage: a buggy-eyed creep named Dwight.  Marge is able to reason with Dwight, but he'll only promise to turn himself in if Marge visits him in prison.  Marge reluctantly accepts, and the situation is averted, though as Dwight is arrested he reminds Marge rather crazily to visit him.

Marge starts freaking out, though, and despite her promise to visit Dwight, she comes up with excuses and reasons to not visit him instead.  In prison, Dwight looks on with jealously as Snake gets visited by his girlfriend, Gloria (complete with Julia Louis-Dreyfus as her VA).  As Dwight realizes Marge isn't going to visit him, he gets pretty angry, and decides to break out.  News of this reaches Marge, and the police aren't in any rush to capture Dwight upon learning he'll turn himself in after finishing one piece of business.

Dwight eventually catches Marge in her car and forces her to drive to an amusement park.  As it turns out, Dwight was abandoned by his mother at this park when he was younger, so he wants Marge to recreate that day with the major difference being that Marge not leave him - not that she can as Dwight has her by gunpoint.  Chief Wiggum is coincidentally at the same park trying to have fun, but is forced to take action upon learning of the situation.  Marge and Dwight go on the viking boats - the same ride Dwight was abandoned - but when Wiggum tries to act, he gets caught inbetween the boats.  Dwight gets urged by Marge to help, but falls into the mechanisms though it does save Wiggum.  Marge does visit a healed Dwight in prison afterwards, where the two becomes as much of friends as they can comfortably be.

Quick Review
This was a pretty decent episode.  The hostage situation at the bank was the best the episode had to offer, particularly the scene with the dye packs, but the rest of the episode has its moments as well.  The odd dialogue between Krusty and Dr. Hibbert near the end dragged the episode a bit, but otherwise the episode wasn't that bad at all.

Final Score: 7.1

The Seemingly Never-Ending Story (S17, E13-369)

Lisa's memory capabilities are now canonically superior, but of course.

Plot Summary
Homer takes the family to Carl's Dad Caverns, where Homer accidentally sets off a reaction which sends the family into a hidden cave, and Homer stuck in a hole.  As Marge and Bart go to find a way out, Lisa decides to tell a story to Homer.  It begins a week ago, where Lisa suddenly finds herself chased by an angered bighorn sheep.  She flees to Burns manor where Mr. Burns winds up being chased by the sheep as well.  The two flee to Burns' attic where Lisa finds a photo of Burns working at Moe's.  Burns decides to tell that story (making it a story within a story).

One day, at his club, Burns is challenged by a new member, that rich Texan guy.  The two agree to a scavenger hunt, with the winner receiving the other's assets.  However, Burns is unable to complete the last item - a picture with him and a smiling child - and the Texan is victorious.  Out of a home and plant, Burns decides to work at Moe's to get a solid footing.  One night, by himself, Burns uncovers a note from Moe meant to be read on his death.  It describes yet another story: one day some time ago Moe was run over by a bus, but is tended to by Edna Krabappel who at this point is new in town.  Having just been dumped by her husband, Edna hates alcoholics and anything related to bars, including bartenders.  Moe, then, lies about what he does and the two quickly build a relationship (full of sex, apparently).  To further his ruse, Moe closes down his bar, which angers Barney, Homer and the rest.  Knowing that they might blow his scheme, Moe decides to leave town, but needs the money to do so.

Just then, Snake Jailbird, then an idealistic archaeologist, reveals to Moe that he has stumbled upon a bounty full of gold coins that he wishes to donate to a museum.  Moe quickly schemes and finds a way to steal Snake's gold, turning Snake to a life of crime.  The next day or so, Moe and Edna are about to leave town but Edna has to stop at the school to decline the job offer she had just accepted.  When Edna returns to Moe, though, she decides to stay put to help a young boy who is having trouble with schoolwork: Bart Simpson.  Granted, Bart was only there to help Nelson steal crap, but Edna doesn't know that.  Moe doesn't take this news well and breaks up with her, wasting away his gold coins in the bar's jukebox.  Mr. Burns, just now finishing that story, opens up the jukebox to find the bounty, then uses it to buy back most of his stuff from the Texan, though the Texan won't give back the plant until Burns presents a photo of him with a smiling child.

So, Burns finishes telling his tale to Lisa, when the two are once more met by the sheep.  Burns takes a hit for Lisa, but it turns out the sheep was only returning Lisa's necklace as it tells in a mini story of its own.  As thanks for defending her, Lisa lets Burns take a photo of her smiling, and Burns can earn back his nuclear plant.  As the stories all conclude, Homer reveals that he brought the family to the cavern so he could find that very same gold, revealing in another story bubble that he spied the Texan hiding his bounty within.

Just then, the Texan returns to reclaim his gold, as well as Burns, Moe and Snake.  As the four get into a standoff, Marge - who found the gold behind a rock - has enough of the greed and tosses the bag of gold into a pit.  Snake and the Texan regain their selves and decides to make up for their misdeeds by doing volunteer work, though Burns sneaks off to retrieve the gold anyway.

Turns out, this entire scene is a story being retold by Bart, explaining where he was during a Geography test to Principal Skinner.  Skinner doesn't believe it all, but then he sees Edna and Moe making out outside, with Edna willing to hook up with Moe the bartender just as long as he still possesses a libido.  So much for that!

Quick Review
This complicated episode wasn't that funny to be honest, however I am appreciative of what it tried to do with its layers and layers of flashback storytelling, making it all connect with each other one way or another.  That appreciation is enough to give this episode a big boost in its score, even making it one of the top episodes of the season thus far (which is quite sad, really), showing that even if the writers have lost their comedic touch that they haven't stopped trying to be creative, at least.

Final Score: 7.6

A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love (S13, E04-273)

Its also plausible for a woman to not care about a guy bringing along another guy for every date.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons eat at a Chinese restaurant, where Homer is displeased over how lame and generic the fortune cookie fortunes are.  He's able to come up with much better material on the spot, and so he's hired by the restaurant to come up with fortunes.

A short time later, Mr. Burns orders some Chinese to go, apparently from the same restaurant.  He reads his fortune: "You will find love on Flag Day."  With it currently being Flag Day, Burns quickly drags Smithers along to quickly find a woman to fall in love with.  However, all the socialites his age are taken up by either Rich Uncle Pennybags or Scrooge McDuck, and the strip clubs are a little too wild for him as well.  On the way back to his car, park across the street because why not, he falls in love with the policewoman who is writing up his ticket.  With Flag Day seconds away from ending, he's able to convince the woman, Gloria, to go out with him, though she might've agreed out of pity.

After a day at a carnival where nothing went wrong, Burns attempts to ask Gloria out on a second date, but Gloria is about to decline and go on with her life.  Desperate, Burns gets Homer, who was coincidentally nearby, and has Homer help him convince Gloria that Burns is worthwhile, somehow succeeding.  They go to a disco for a second date, with Homer coming along to help out.  At the date's conclusion, Burns is able to convince Gloria to make love to him.  To make up for the fact that he's an old man, Burns had acquired an extremely potent and rare aphrodisiac that works, well, good enough for Gloria to fall in love with him, anyway.  Burns and Gloria go on several more dates with Homer tagging along to keep Burns looking hip and cool.

At a bowling alley, Burns decides to propose to Gloria, and she accepts.  As Burns goes off gleefully to get champagne, believing that nothing can ruin this day, Snake walks into the bowling alley looking to rob it.  He recognizes Gloria, who was his old girlfriend (the part where she's a police officer is apparently no longer a thing).  As Gloria rebukes Snake's attempts to get back with him, Snake just ups and grabs Gloria - as well as Homer who tried poorly to stop him.  Gloria drops her engagement ring, and when Burns returns to find only the ring and nobody else, he believes Homer and Gloria ditched Burns.

Snake has Homer drive the three of them to his hideout out in the countryside, where Snake ties the two up in chairs.  Cletus witnesses this, and reports it to the police who have been helping Burns with his search.  They arrive along with the Simpson family to the hideout.  Snake's attempts to win back Gloria by beating up Homer haven't been working, and as the two bicker, Homer attempts to free himself by burning his rope on a furnace.  This plan literally backfires, and Homer ends up burning up the entire house.  Homer and Snake run out in time, but Gloria is still trapped inside.  Burns musters up both courage and strength and is able to enter the house to free Gloria, though its Gloria that comes outside holding Burns.  The two are reunited, but as Gloria attempts to explain to Burns how over Snake she is, she falls in love with Snake anyway, and ends the engagement.  Burns is flabbergasted, and the Simpson family attempts to console him.

Quick Review
I'm probably thinking about the oddities of this episode a bit too much.  I mean, I guess its somewhat plausible for a police officer to be in love with a criminal, even if he's still committing crimes.  Its probably plausible for a man over the age of 100 to be good in bed thanks to a super rare aphrodisiac.  Its could even be plausible for a woman to spend a third of an episode being completely over a criminal but then swoon for him at the very end on what seems like a whim even though her old man fiancee just rescued her.

Still, all these possible plausibilities hurt my enjoyment of what wasn't going to be a great episode anyway.  The jokes weren't all the plentiful and, as I've said, the plot of the episode leaves a lot to be desired.  This is rare instance when an episode focused on Mr. Burns actually doesn't pan out so well.

Final Score: 6.6

All Singing, All Dancing (S09, E11-189)

"Gonna paint your wagon, gonna paint it fine.
Gotta use oil-based paint, 'cause the wood is piiiine."

Plot Summary
Homer and Bart return from the video store, video stores still being profitable at the time.  Despite Marge and Lisa's recommendations, the two men rented a movie they would rather enjoy: a shoot 'em up western.  However, they are unaware that the movie they rented, Paint Your Wagon, is actually a western-themed musical.  After seeing Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin sing and dance, a disgusted Homer stops the movie, openly wondering why a perfectly fine wagon tale had to be ruined with song.  Just then, Marge and Lisa help start up a song as well to try and prove to both Homer and Bart that not only do they like to sing and dance (using clips from previous episodes to show as much), but that the entire towns loves to as well (using clips from previous episodes to show as much).

After the first set of clips, Snake jumps in through an open window, planning to take the Simpsons hostage, however when they sing about their predicament, Snake can't handle it and leaves.  However, after the second batch of clips, Snake returns, having gotten a tune stuck in his head because of the Simpsons, and plans to shoot them to make it stop.  However, he forgot to load his gun, and leaves again to get some ammo.  After the final batch of clips, where Homer and Bart are convinced that musicals are not so bad (and not nearly as bad as when a long-running series does a cheesy clip show), Snake returns yet again to end his madness.  However, the family has finished up, and are no longer singing.  Snake no longer holds a grudge and takes his leave again.  Marge closes the window but then it gets shot at.  Snake then continues to shoot up anybody playing a song even during the credits.

Quick Review
All Singing, All Dancing is the fourth clip show of the series, and like the two that preceded it, this one comes with a theme: musicals.  The Paint Your Wagon scene to set up the clip show, I thought, was excellent, by far the best part of the episode.  I don't know who voiced Lee Marvin, but hearing him do his singing lines was just hilarious.  The continuous plot line involving Snake was a nice touch as well to break up the monotony of the clips.  The clips themselves were okay for the most part, but most of the episode's good will came from its new content.

Final Score: 8.5

Realty Bites (S09, E09-187)

I need to buy a house... right after I buy some lumber.

Plot Summary
On a lazy Saturday, Marge grows tired of sitting around and doing nothing.  She convinces Homer to take her somewhere, and Homer does... to a police auction.  There, Homer is able to buy a car, a hot rod to be specific, but its original owner, Snake, sees this and promises to kill Homer for buying it.  Homer takes Marge on a crazy drive in it, but before long she demands he let her out.  Walking home, Marge sees Lionel Hutz putting a house up for sale.  Turns out, Hutz has picked up a new career in real estate.  Marge realizes how good it could feel to help people find a home, and decides to take it up as well.

After passing the test with relative ease, Marge gets a job at the same real estate company Hutz works at.  On the job, though, Marge's truth-telling tendencies do not aid in her attempts to sell less-than-premier homes.  Though she's pleased to hear that people like her frank honesty, she then learns that sometimes one has to 'bend' the truth in order to sell homes, and furthermore if Marge isn't able to sell a home within a week she gets fired.  Meanwhile, Snake sees Homer drive his car near the prison, and noticing that Homer has failed to fill the tank with premium gas, Snake has had enough, and abuses the jail's honor system to leave via a back door.

Later, Marge tries to sell a home to the Flanders, but once again her honesty prevents a sale.  Near the end, the two spy a wonderful house.  Marge learned earlier that this house is where a famous murder took place some time ago but has yet to be resold because of that.  However, the Flanders seem unaware that its that house, and so Marge is barely able to withhold that information, and is able to sell the house to the Flanders.

However, it doesn't take long for Marge to regret her decision, and the day after the Flanders move in to the house, she visits them and tells them the truth about the house.  At the same time, Snake ambushes Homer in the car, and the two get into a fight while the car is still moving.  Chief Wiggum is woken up as they pass by, and gives chase.  The Flanders realize that, yes, they did buy the murder house, but they're even happier than they were before, and are more than willing to stay there.  At that moment, Homer and Snake crash their car into that very house, and Wiggum does the same, causing the house to collapse.  Ned then gets his deposit check back from Marge, and tears it up.

With the real estate company assessed damages for the house, hot rod and police car, not to mention Marge giving back the deposit check, Hutz, who is apparently the boss at this company, fires Marge.  Though Marge is sad she wasn't able to bring in even one check, Homer eases her pain by taking her to the unemployment office, and everything is okay.

Quick Review
This is a sad episode for a specific reason.  This episode features the last speaking appearance of Lionel Hutz, as his voice actor Phil Hartman would die five months after this episode aired (he has one final speaking appearance as Troy McClure in Season 10).  So this episode having Lionel Hutz move out of law, where he was pretty incompetent, to real estate where he seemed to be doing okay, seems like a fine send off to a character that was well liked for the six plus seasons he was around.  Gil Gunderson, a rather inept real estate worker who was introduced in this episode, would have the proverbial torch passed to him as the inept lawyer in future seasons, though Gil would also be featured being inept in other things as well.

As for the episode itself, I liked it quite a bit.  Homer's hot rod sidestory was brief, but Snake's antics helped make it enjoyable.  The main plotline was fine, getting better when the Flanders became involved in the story, and for his final speaking appearance, Lionel Hutz was pretty good as well.

Final Score: 9.0

The Cartridge Family (S09, E05-183)

All this, just by robbing the Kwik-E-Mart.

Plot Summary
An awesome commercial showing the cool nature of soccer captivates the Simpson family and Springfield as a whole, and they go to see Mexico and Portugal at the local stadium.  Turns out, the game is extremely boring, with one team just passing it to one another.  As people leave out of boredom, a riot breaks out, strengthened with the presence of some Scotsmen, and soon the riots occur throughout town.  With the mayor putting the city under mob rule, its every family for themselves.  The Simpsons attempt to get better security for their home, but its too expensive.  Marge pleads with Homer to find some way to protect the family, and Homer eventually decides the best way to do so is to get a gun.

After a painful five day waiting period, Homer's background check comes in, and its so littered with offenses that Homer can only possess up to three firearms, which allows him to buy the one gun.  He shows it to Marge later on, who freaks out over it, fearful that the gun could hurt the family.  Homer states his 2nd Amendment rights ('convincing' Lisa that the King of England could still come in and push her around without a gun), and takes Marge to an NRA meeting to show her the usefulness of guns.  At the meeting, Homer is captivated by how guns have helped its members, and decides to become a lifetime member.

Homer has no restraint with his gun, bringing it openly with him wherever he goes and uses it clumsily like its a tool.  At dinner, Marge pleads once more with Homer to get rid of the gun.  Homer relents and agrees to do so.  Some time later, Bart and Milhouse discover the gun (not very) hidden in the vegetable crisper in the fridge.  Marge is able to intervene before Bart can "William Tell" Milhouse, and becomes so angry that Homer lied to her about the gun she and the kids take off, refusing to return home until Homer decides that his family is more important than the gun.

Homer has no time to mope, though, as he had been chosen to host the next NRA meeting.  The members, however, are sickened and outraged that Homer is using his gun for mundane tasks like opening a can of beer or turning on the TV.  Unwilling to support Homer's reckless behavior, the NRA quickly kicks Homer out.

Homer finds his family, who are spending the night at a motel.  Homer tells Marge that he has gotten rid of the gun, and Marge decides to come back.  However, while the family is checking out, Snake attempts a robbery.  Homer pulls out his gun, much to Marge's anger having been lied to again.  During the confusion, Snake steals Homer's gun and as he's about to force Homer to give him the ammo to said gun, members of the NRA come in to force Snake away, having been called in via a silent alarm.  Homer gives his gun to Marge, admitting that he is unable to get rid of it himself as it comes with too much power, then takes his leave.  Just as Marge is about to dispose of it, she gives it a quick handle, comes to realize how cool she looks, and decides to hold on to it herself.

Quick Review
Its odd that I've come to this episode given what's going on in the United States these days around gun control and such, and though the issues at hand today differ than what's presented in this episode, it just goes to show that the 'gun debate' is and always will be a controversial topic.

As for the quality of the episode, it starts off wonderfully with the soccer scenes, hyping it up to be the best thing since Monday Night Football only for it to be so boring having a massive riot is preferable to it.  Homer's desire for a gun is good for a few laughs as well.  The NRA and their 'responsible' response to Homer's irresponsibility I found rather neat too given, well, the NRA.  In all, its another excellent episode for Season 9.

Final Score: 9.8

22 Short Films About Springfield (S07, E21-149)

"Skinner with his crazy explanations, the Superintendent's gonna
need his medication.  When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations,
there'll be trouble in town tonight!"

Plot Summary
Despite the title, there aren't 22 sub stories that fill this episode.  It's close to 22, but not quite.  Not that its a problem or anything.  Here, in minor detail, is every story featured:

1) Prologue: Bart and Milhouse, while chucking stuff at cars from a bridge above, wonder about the tales the people of Springfield have to tell, which sets up the rest of the episode.

2) "Apu in: The Jolly Bengali": As the two boys go to the Kwik-E-Mart to buy candy, Sanjay invites Apu to a party at his house.  Apu, unwilling to leave the Kwik-E-Mart for long, agrees to go for five minutes.  At the party, Apu pretty much has the full party experience in even less time, though he inadvertently locked Hans Moleman in the store in the meantime.

3) Lisa's Hair Problem (Part 1): As Lisa is recycling, Bart zooms along on his skateboard and tosses some gum away, unknowingly throwing it into Lisa's hair.  Lisa runs to Marge for help, but Marge only has oddball remedies for getting gum out of hair, such as applying peanut butter or mayo into the gum, but this doesn't seem to be working.  She has Lisa sit outside to let it sink it, but she's attacked by a swarm of hornets.

4) Smithers' Bee Problem: One bee flies off from Lisa and heads to the park, where it lands on Smithers (who is deathly allergic to bees), who is in the middle of a bike ride with Mr. Burns.  Burns, irritated that Smithers has slowed down, tries to shoo the bee away, but it stings Smithers instead.  With Smithers in dire need for help, Burns gets Smithers help the only way he knows how: by commanding Smithers to pedal the two all the way to the hospital.  The two make it but both collapse.  Rescue workers come out to help, but only grab Burns.

5) Dr. Nick's Malpractice Problem: After Nick confuses Smithers as a bum ("Holy smokes!  You need booze!"), he goes to a meeting with other doctors who confront him on a malpractice suit against him.  Just then, a crazy old man (Grampa) is causing havoc and insists on seeing a quack.  Nick steps up and 'calms' Grampa by telling him he has a condition where his skeleton is trying to escape the body, and uses 'electrotherapy' to 'cure' him.  The doctors drop the suit in forgiveness, and Nick gives Jasper a free nose job in celebration.

6) Moe's Burglary Problem: Moe officially calculates Barney's bar tab to be in the billions, but gets $2000 from him right away.  Snake runs in to rob Moe, holding Barney hostage.  Moe runs to safety inside a hidden, bulletproof compartment (with little air), which just allows Snake to loot Moe's newly acquired tab and run off.

7) "Skinner and the Superintendent": Skinner invites Chalmers for lunch, but burns his roast by mistake.  Using a series of lies and fabrications, Skinner is able to convince Chalmers that a bunch of Krusty Burgers he desperately bought is a family recipe and that the fire in the kitchen from the roast in actually Aurora Borealis in his own kitchen.  In all, it was a successful luncheon.

8) Homer's Maggie Problem: Hands full of groceries and Maggie, Homer sees an importantly headline in a newspaper stand, and goes to buy it right away, fumbling his possessions in the process.  He gets his paper, but accidentally gets Maggie stuck in the stand.  Having no usable quarters left and unwilling to leave Maggie to get more, Homer decides to just uproot the stand completely and take it home.

9) The Police's Hamburger Problem: Lou describes his time at a Shelbyville McDonalds, a restaurant that has zero presence in Springfield.  After hearing horrors about Krusty Partially Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum-Based Beverages being called simply "shakes" at McDonalds, Wiggum has heard enough and goes out for donuts.

10) Bumblebee Man's Clumsiness Problem: After a hard day playing the bumbling bee at work, the actor tries to have a relaxing moment at home, but an incident involving oranges causing his clumsiness to take full effect, destroying the house and forcing his wife to divorce him.

11) Snake's Wiggum Problem: Coming off the heist, Snake is in a bind when he sees Wiggum, who just bought some donuts.  Panicking, Snakes tries to run over Wiggum, but crashes into a wall.  The two get into a brawl which goes into Herman's store, where he holds the two hostage for some reason.

12) Lovejoy's Flanders Problem: Reverend Lovejoy brought his dog to Flanders' yard for the sole purpose of having the dog do its business there.  Class act, Reverend.

13) Lisa's Hair Problem (Part 2): As Flanders goes to retrieve his shovel from Homer, he spies Marge still trying to get gum out of Lisa's hair.  He offers to help, but it doesn't seem to work.  Other townspeople chime in to give advice to Lisa's predicament, which only irritates the poor girl.

14) "Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel": Cletus finds a pair of boots for Brandine's job interview, but as they wouldn't really work well on the topless dancing runway, he has to return them where he found them: dangling on a wire.

15) Milhouse's Bathroom Problem: Milhouse desperately needs to use the bathroom, trying to do so at the comic book shop, but a transaction is required, and as Milhouse is doing that his dad gets him in trouble and takes him away before he could use the bathroom.

16) Wiggum and Snake in a Problem, Featuring Milhouse: Milhouse's next attempt is at Herman's shop, where his father notices both Wiggum and Snake beat up and tied up with Herman just standing there.  As Herman readies to take the elder Van Houten hostage, Milhouse accidentally knocks Herman out with a mace he grabbed.  Wiggum then tries to make his escape.

17) Lisa's Hair Problem (Part 3): Lisa passes Wiggum but is far too concerned about her hair to think about anything else.  She goes to the barber who cuts that part of her hair off, then stylizes it to make it look good.  Lisa starts feeling good again, but is immediately laughed at by Nelson.

18) Nelson's Tall Man Problem: Afterwards, Nelson laughs at Mrs. Glick tripping into a trash can, then laughs at a man driving a rather tiny car.  The man stops and steps out, revealing himself to be rather tall.  Nelson tries to escape, but the tall man catches him.  After a failed attempt at reasoning with the boy, the tall man decides to publicly humiliate Nelson instead, pulling down his pants and having townspeople laugh at him instead.

19) Epilogue: As Bart and Milhouse squirt condiments on Nelson from above, Bart realizes that there are indeed plenty of tales to be told by the townsfolk, but there simply just isn't enough time to hear them all.

20) "The Tomfoolery of Professor Frink": The professor runs in, his skit having been delayed by literal monkey trouble at the lab, but as he tries to sink his bit's theme song, the episode goes into credits and Frink promises that the monkey'll pay for this.

Quick Review
22 Short Films About Springfield, a rather experimental episode at the time, is one of the best episodes of the series.  There is just so many things that work right here.  I think part of it is that there are a good number of jokes in every bit that the writers forced in to make sure each bit is gold, but with so many bits there ends up being a lot of quality throughout.  Its a wonderfully written episode and its a shame more episodes like this were never made afterward.

Final Score: 10