Peeping Mom (S26, E18-570)

Pictured is Marge, half-assing her stealth clothing.

Plot Summary
Marge sees the aftermath of an incident where someone stole a bulldozer and bulldozed over several buildings.  Chief Wiggum has pinned the crime on Bart despite no motive, evidence and so on.  He gives Bart over to Marge hoping she can get him to squeal, but Bart denies everything, including even knowing about the bulldozer.  At her wits end, Marge decides to keep constant watch over Bart until he confesses his wrongdoing in the bulldozer incident.

Marge follows Bart to school, to Milhouse's secret area, and tails him even at night when Bart tries to escape for some solitude.  However, Bart continues to deny any and all involvement.  During the night time chase, Marge tries one last time to get Bart to confess, but he still won't crack.  Marge officially gives up, and leaves Bart to himself.

Meanwhile, Flanders gets a new dog, nicknamed Baz, who takes an immediate liking to Homer, much to the dismay of both Flanders and Santa's Little Helper.  Flanders wonders if the dog he had quickly grown to love should just go to stay with Homer instead.  Homer, however, realizes Baz only sees Homer as a playmate, another dog, and that Flanders is the best choice to be the dog's owner.

Bart reveals to Milhouse a new scheme of his, where - during the 50th anniversary of the "SPRINGFIELD" sign outside town - he plans to pull down several of the letters (using the bulldozer he indeed stole) to make it instead spell "FIE".  Marge shows no interest at all in this.  There, Bart is readying the bulldozer but notices that Marge packed some fried chicken before he left.  Growing a small conscience, Bart changes his plan at the last second to make the sign instead spell "FD" which the townspeople interpret as a tribute to the Fire Department.  Bart finds Marge and tells her he did indeed take the bulldozer, which an eavesdropping Chief Wiggum overhears, giving him enough reason to arrest Bart, but Marge forgives Bart I guess.  The episode ends with Santa's Little Helper (who made up with Homer) and Baz becoming acquaintances.

Quick Review
This episode starts out pretty well but the comedy dies out near the end.  The dog subplot was the same, it started off with promise but ended on a whimper.  Mainly, I didn't think the conclusions of either plot were really all that well written both for comedic effect nor for storytelling purposes.  The plot set itself up well, but it crashed kinda hard from there.

I also kinda think the episode could've worked better if Bart hadn't stolen the bulldozer.  I felt like as though the first half of the episode was setting it up to where Bart was actually innocent and that Marge was gonna look silly for being so persistent over nothing.  Not that I expect that alternative to of been written well either, but having Bart actually be the one to steal the bulldozer kinda makes the first, funnier half of the episode pointless filler.  I guess that irritates me a little.

Final Score: 7.0

The Fabulous Faker Boy (S24, E20-528)

Th-thanks...

Plot Summary
Principal Skinner convinces Marge to get Bart engaged in music so that he's less likely to commit pranks (though this was done once before with modest yet temporary success).  Marge agrees and takes Bart around town to find something he can take an interest in.  Eventually, the two come across a Russian man, Slava, whose daughter gives piano lessons.  Bart becomes smitten with the woman, Zhenya, and decides this is good enough for him.  Marge and Slava agree to give Bart piano lessons if Marge gives Slava driving lessons.

Of course, Bart doesn't particularly care about the piano, Bart just wants to spend time with Zhenya.  Zhenya admits she wants to gain fame and money so her father can buy a limo to drive and hopes to get it if Bart can impress people with his piano ability.  Believing this to be a "do this and I'll love you" ultimatum, Bart decides to practice on the piano.  Eventually, at a recital, Bart apparently plays rather well, gaining mass applause.  Bart credits his ability to Zhenya, and she instantly gets offers to teach piano to other people.  Its then revealed, though, that Bart actually put a CD into the piano (CD-playing pianos are actual things, when did this happen) to play the song for him.

Bart goes to see Zhenya later, but she's busy giving lessons to all sorts of kids now, and makes Bart wait outside as the house is full.  Bart realizes Zhenya never returned his feelings, but now everyone thinks he's a musical prodigy even though he's not.  Marge signs Bart up for another recital, where Bart admits he's a fraud.  This angers Marge, upset that Bart wasted his time with those lessons, and hers to teach Slava to drive poorly for no good reason.  Later, Slava goes to Marge's house to thank Marge for all she's done for him and his daughter.  Marge admits to him that Bart 'cheated' at the recital, but Slava pays it no mind, saying that even if he did cheat, he did it to win the love of his daughter, and when that failed, he admitted his mistake because he cared for Marge.  Marge reconciles with Bart, but punishes him anyway for cheating.

While this is all happening, Homer's top two hairs fall out, leaving him fully bald up there.  Panicking, Homer wears a variety of hats throughout the episode to hide this fact.  Eventually, Homer gets help from a similarly bald co-worker (voiced by Patrick Stewart) who helps Homer come to terms with his baldness.  Homer finally shows Marge his bald head, but Marge shows no shock or disgust, stating how sexy his dome has become and complimenting Homer's feigned confidence.  These kind acts rejuvenate Homer enough for his two hairs to magically regrow, leaving Marge relieved.

Quick Review
Quite a few guest stars in this one.  Bill Hader as Slava, Jane Krakowski as Zhenya, Patrick Stewart as Homer's bald co-worker, some other guy as himself (tee hee!).  A lot was being made of Justin Bieber's appearance in the episode (whose title is rather fitting), but he only provides a single, not-that-bad line preceded by a 30 second warning and followed by a "don't worry, he's gone folks" message that makes you wonder why Bieber was brought in for a guest spot to begin with.

The episode itself was unspectacular.  Homer's baldness side story was decent but was short and had little going for it because Homer's odd use of hats.  The main storyline was mostly boring, with Slava providing most of the humor for the episode, but it wasn't nearly enough to make this worth another watch.

Final Score: 6.0

Moms I'd LIke to Forget (S22, E10-474)

"This is for Repressed Rage!"  Denial About Family exclaims after filling Social Life with hot lead.

Plot Summary
The 4th grade and 5th grade start up an intense rivalry following a poorly officiated dodgeball match between the two.  It eventually comes to a head and the two grades agree to a showdown after school.  Bart and the 5th grade's apparent leader face off, but both are stunned to find a small sword-shaped scar on both of their hands.  Bart asks Marge about it, and Marge tells Bart that when he was little, she took Bart to a "Mommie and Me" toddler gym with three other boys.  As the mothers spent time with one another, the boys got into all sorts of mischief.  Marge, though, realized the other boys were a bad influence on Bart, and eventually had a falling out with the other mothers, which saddens Marge as she was good friends with them.  With Bart's encouragement, Marge sets up a meet with the three mothers.

As the four moms reminisce, Homer is stuck with the other husbands, none of whom are interested in making any sort of attempt at friendship.  Meanwhile, Bart reunites with his playschool friends, including that same 5th grader, but he comes to learn that they like to play rough, even for his standards.  Still, Marge successfully becomes friends with the mothers again and they all agree to meet up every Tuesday night, giving Marge a social life once again.  Bart gets tired of the rough and tough style of the other boys, though, and decides to once again investigate his sword scar, having never gotten a reason for it from Marge.  He goes to Dr. Hibbert, who tells him to talk to the comic book guy about it.  Comic book guy eventually tells Bart the story behind the scar: seven years ago, on the 4th of July, the boys and their mothers went to see a fireworks show, being operated by the comic book guy.  The boys are able to walk away from their distracted mothers, and approach the distracted comic book guy's operating table, shooting off dozens of fireworks at once.  A large blazing chunk of fireworks falls right onto the comic book guy's hero sandwich, sending four sword-shaped sandwich skewers flying - right onto the hands of each of the four boys.

Bart comes to the conclusion that Marge broke contact from the other mothers under the idea that their boys were a bad influence on Bart.  He decides to try to break them up again so that he doesn't have to deal with the other boys any longer by taping together large quantities of fireworks.  Marge catches him in the act, though, and tells Bart that she needs to have a little social life, and Bart relents.  At the next mother meeting, Marge tells the other mothers about Bart's plan, and none of them are surprised.  They tell Marge that Bart is a bad influence on their kids.  Marge takes offense, and has another fallout from the group which is fine for them because they can resume their lesbian activities once more.  Marge realized that those mothers were never really true friends, but Bart and Lisa promise to be her friends instead.  Marge doesn't tell Homer about this, though, and he's stuck with the other husbands once again, a situation so dull he gladly enjoys the company of Ned Flanders instead.

Quick Review
This was a decent episode, though whenever there was focus on Marge the comedy kinda took a break.  The best the episode had to offer came either from Bart or with Homer, particularly when they were with the people they didn't want to hang out with.  The bulk of the episode's humor came from those interactions, otherwise the plot with Marge has little to go on.

Final Score: 7.0

Lost Verizon (S20, E02-422)

...how did Marge know Bart was going to dig up that grave?

Plot Summary
Principal Skinner makes a fool of himself trying to cross a busy highway to get gas for his depleted car.  Milhouse is the first kid to see this, and uses his cell phone to call the other kids in town so they can see it as well.  Every other kid except Bart, who doesn't have one yet.  Bart learns of what happened afterwards, and subsequently begs Marge to get him one, but Marge laments that she can't afford one right now.  Angered, Bart leaves but a short time later he gets hit in the head with a golf ball from a nearby golf course.  He returns it to Dr. Hibbert, who gives him a dollar for the trouble.  Bart realizes if he can return enough golf balls for money, he can buy a phone himself, but the idea falls apart when "Greenskeeper" Willie tells Bart that collecting wayward balls for money is his job.  Nearby, Denis Leary is trying to play a round of golf, but his phone rings just as he makes drive.  He throws it away in frustration, and it just so happens to fly towards Bart.  Bart gladly claims it as his own.

After a short time, Bart realizes the phone was Leary's, and decides to use it to put Leary in all sorts of terrible situations.  Soon, Leary calls Bart, and chews him out.  Marge catches Bart right afterwards and talks with Leary herself.  Leary decides to let Bart keep his old phone, but does tell Marge about the phone's GPS system which would allow her to track Bart wherever he goes on a laptop.  Marge activates it and gives the phone back to Bart.  For some time, every sinister act Bart does is stopped by Marge, who counters his every move.  Lisa catches wind of this, and tells Bart about it that night.  The next day, Bart removes the tracking chip in his phone and attaches it to a nearby bird.  Homer and Marge at home do not think anything is strange about Bart's new movements and they decide to follow him, taking Lisa and Maggie along as well.

Bart has the house to himself for awhile, but while he enjoys himself during the day, nights are particularly scary for him.  Meanwhile, Homer and Marge think they've got "Bart" cornered in a field, when Lisa realizes the chip is on a bird.  Lisa then realizes that the bird is migrating south to Machu Picchu, a place she's been wanting to visit, and thus stays silent as her parents continue chasing the bird.  Eventually, the family does reach Machu Picchu, where a tired Marge falls asleep.  She gets a vision where she learns her constant protection of Bart definitely isn't a good thing.  Upon waking up, she and Homer finally learn of Bart's ruse and head all the way back home.  Bart is happy the family is back, but suddenly its realized they left Maggie at Machu Picchu, where she has become their new god.

Quick Review
This episode is a smidgen better than the previous one, which is to say, its not that good either.  Its too bad, as I felt Denis Leary provided a good guest spot for the episode, but the comedy found within it was just awful.  Hardly any of it was funny aside from Leary and a couple of other instances, and the episode as a whole was just forgettable.

Final Score: 5.9

Marge Gamer (S18, E17-395)

We were all this bad once, though for some they were this bad when they were five.

Plot Summary
Marge gets tired of being left behind on things because she doesn't have an e-mail address.  So, not only does she get an e-mail address, but she becomes an internet addict, doing practically everything on it.  One night, while waiting feverishly for e-mail, Marge notices a banner ad for an MMORPG called Earthland Realms.  After creating a character that looks like her and some initial hiccups, Marge becomes adept at the game, though she loses a lot of sleep in the process.  She learns that many other Springfield residents play the game, but then learns that everyone is terrified by the Shadow Knight, a powerful player capable of killing everyone and anyone easily.  After witnessing the Shadow Knight's massive power, Marge goes to do laundry in real life, but then overhears Bart playing the same game... as the Shadow King.  Marge greets Bart ingame, much to Bart's embarrassment as he has online cred to maintain.  Bart saves Marge one day in the game, but returns to his castle in horror as he learns that Marge discarded his trophy room to turn it into a Hello Kitty expansion pack monstrosity.  Bart starts tearing apart the room in rage, but accidentally kills Marge's character in the process.

Meanwhile, Homer takes Lisa to her soccer game, but its about to be cancelled as the ref has quit.  Learning that referees share in snack time, Homer gladly takes over but as expected makes a total ass of himself during the game, earning Lisa's scorn.  Reeling from said scorn, Homer studies hours of soccer footage, and the next time he refs he becomes quite competent as the job.  Homer calls a foul on Jessica Lovejoy after she trips Lisa.  As the Lovejoys yell at Homer for his call, he insists the call is right, and play continues.  Lisa figures out that taking falls mean calls going your way, and with her father as the ref, takes full advantage and becomes a gigantic flopper.  After one such dive, which Homer falls for, he gets into an argument with Cletus (whose kids supposedly committed the foul).  Ronaldo, a soccer player famous everywhere except America and maybe Canada, arrives to confirm to Homer that Lisa flopped, and Homer has no choice but to penalize Lisa with a yellow card.  Lisa tears it up in rage, forcing Homer to give her a red card instead, kicking her out of the game.

Homer and Bart meet up later on as Lisa and Marge, respectively, are mad at them over their silly games.  They go to Moe's, where Moe (or a guy that kidnapped and replaced Moe) suggests Homer appeals to Lisa's reason, and Bart to Marge's feelings.  Homer gives Lisa a DVD documentary, which shows her just how bad soccer hooliganism can be.  Lisa realizes she was in the wrong, and that she won't get stupidly upset over soccer like the Europeans and South Americans do, and she'll only play for fun now.  Meanwhile, in Earthland Realms, Bart uses his abilities to revive Marge's character, but the process leaves Bart with only a third of his health.  The other players, thanks to an unwitting Marge, learn of this and quickly storm Bart's castle and overwhelm him, celebrating the fall of the Shadow King.  Bart mostly doesn't care and goes outside to join Lisa and Homer in soccer, but Marge promises to get vengeance for him, going on a killing spree on everyone in game and becoming a Shadow Queen herself.

Quick Review
Admittedly, I thought this episode was going to be terrible.  This episode aired back when World of Warcraft was still popular somehow, so the show, along with a few others, tried to capitalize on its popularity by making episodes themed around that game (the 'newbie parent embarrasses their pro gamer kid in game' trope is present in most of these).  This episode feels like it was written with no real knowledge of the game or genre, or that it was disposed in favor of quick not-that-funny gags like making Skinner a turkey in game and what not.

The soccer side story wasn't all that funny.  Ronaldo's appearance seems pretty throwaway and didn't really add anything to the episode.  The episode's score ends up being pretty low as a result, but its still much higher than what I thought it would be going in as episodes focused around video games can very easily become disasters.

Final Score: 6.7

Marge's Son Poisoning (S17, E05-361)

Marge should just be proud that, in this scenario, Bart is probably some kind of administrator.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons arrive at a pier-side festival just its being torn down.  As parts are being sold off, Homer buys a dumbbell while Marge decides to buy a tandem bicycle.  However, Marge can't get anyone to ride the bicycle with her, so she tries to ride it alone, which doesn't work at all.  Bart takes notice of this and, out of pity, decides to go on a ride with Marge.  They end up at a tea and cake shop in a different town or part of town or whatever, and the two really bond from that.  However, the next time they ride there they learn that the shop has closed down.  Bart decides that he and Marge can have a tea party in his treehouse, which Marge redecorates to fit the new theme.  However, as the two go out to buy a tea set, Bart is confronted by Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney who mock Bart for having become a "Mama's boy".  With Marge returning only to embarrass Bart further in front of the bullies, Bart rebels and reveals to Marge that he only did things with her because he felt sorry for her, and runs off.

All the while, Homer pumps up his right arm with his new dumbbell.  He eventually uses his newly built arm to save his barmates from a fallen pinball machine, where Moe gets the idea to have Homer use his arm in arm wrestling cons.  However, after their first attempt goes dicey, Moe decides to just have Homer enter an arm wrestling competition out of the town.  With Marge rather uninterested in his latest adventure (due to her spending time with Bart), Homer starts to miss Marge and, after winning the tournament, quickly goes home.

After tearing down the new additions to his treehouse, Bart finally calms down and, after seeing Marge depressed again, apologizes to her.  He then cheers Marge up by inviting her to a school-sanctioned karaoke night, where the two can sing as a duet.  Marge is ecstatic, and goes to practice at a karaoke shop, where she sees Principal Skinner and his mother, with Skinner bowing down to his mother's whims yet again.  At the karaoke night, Marge sees the two of them do their karaoke act, and imagines herself and Bart in their places, which freaks her out.  Marge puts a stop to the contest and encourages Bart to go back to his old ways so that he doesn't become as mother-dependent as Skinner.  Homer returns home just in time to comfort Marge, and everything is back to normal.

Quick Review
This wasn't that good of an episode.  Homer's arm wrestling subplot was actually pretty decent, but not much focus was given to it so it was pretty short.  The main plot about Marge and Bart didn't have much humor to go with it, and the episode's ending where the bullies sing all classy-like in front of the Simpson home was just bad.

Final Score: 6.0

Bart the Mother (S10, E03-206)

So long, Troy, we'll always remember you for your work in The Simpsons Seasons 2-10.

Plot Summary
At a family fun center, Bart witnesses Nelson "earn" a BB gun as a prize.  Though he's eager to try it out, Marge forbids him from visiting Nelson, having witnesses a display of his bullying earlier.  Really wanting to try out the gun, though, Bart disobeys and sneaks off.  There, after seeing Nelson do some target practice, Bart is pressured by Nelson to shoot a bird nested in a tree.  Bart is unwilling, of course, even trying to aim away from the bird at the last instant, but the gun has a crooked sight, and even though Bart aimed a bit off, the shot still hits the bird, killing it.

Marge learns that Bart went to Nelson's, and comes in just in time to see Bart trying to hide the bird.  Upon realizing what he did, Marge gives up on Bart, believing that he's beyond saving, and leaves.  Bart is saddened by this series of events, but realizes that the bird left behind a nest containing two eggs.  Looking to redeem himself, Bart decides to look over the eggs, getting info on how to do so from the library.  He sets up a 75-watt light bulb in his treehouse to warm the eggs, but Marge catches on and, still despondent towards Bart, tries to get his to stop whatever it is she thinks he's doing.  However, upon learning what Bart actually is doing, Marge gives in and forgives Bart, agreeing to help him hatch the eggs.  Sure enough, the eggs are about to hatch anyway, and hatch they do: revealing a pair of lizards.

The family is, for the most part, puzzled, even Lisa can't explain what's going on other than confirming that they are, in fact, lizards.  Marge takes Bart to a group of bird watchers to figure out the mystery.  Principal Skinner, the head of said group, informs the two that the lizards are actually Bolivian Tree Lizards, bird eaters who also eat bird eggs, then lay eggs of their own in the bird's nest, with the bird unaware so that when they hatch, the newborn lizards can eat the unsuspecting bird as well.  There is an ordinance which prompts for the deaths of such lizards, but Bart refuses to let them do so.  With Marge's help, Bart runs to the roof of the building, but Skinner catches up and the two struggle for the lizards until they accidentally fly up and over the side of the building.  Just then, the lizards show off wing flaps, and glide to safety.  Although Skinner chides Bart for potentially ruining the ecosystem or what have you, it turns out the lizards gain a taste for pigeon, and the eventually wiping out of said pigeons instead allow Bart to earn praise from the town, though the irony of him not caring about hundreds of birds dying from his actions after caring so much about killing one bird is mostly lost on him.

Quick Review
Bart the Mother is notable for one thing: its the final time Phil Hartman's voice graces the show, as Hartman was killed four months before this episode's airing.  The circumstances of the murder would remain controversial even to this day.  As a service in Hartman's memory, both of his recurring characters - Troy McClure and Lionel Hutz - would be retired with neither character returning with a new voice actor.  It truly is a shame as not only were both characters vital to the success the show has had to this point, but it was Hartman's contributions that aided to the success of both characters.  I don't think the show has ever really recovered from the loss of Phil Hartman, and his tragedy remains one of the saddest stories in showbusiness.

The episode itself turns out fine, a nice bonding moment between Marge and Bart (though Marge's attitude toward Bart upon learning he shot that bird is a bit extreme for her), and there were quite a few laughs throughout.

Final Score: 8.4

Marge Be Not Proud (S07, E11-139)

How many kids have had this feel, hm?

Plot Summary
As Christmas time nears, Bart is faced with two dilemmas.  One, as a growing ten year old, he's becoming a bit tired of Marge treating him like a little kid still.  Two, a much more pressing concern, Bart desperately wants the bloody video game Bonestorm after seeing an ad for it on TV, but Marge quickly decides not to buy it for him.  He can't rent it because all of the rental copies are rented out, and Milhouse refuses to let Bart play his copy even though its very clearly a game that can be played with two players.  Bart decides to go to a store, specifically the Try-n-Save, and look sad near the game so that someone will buy it for him.  There, he sees Nelson and Jimbo shoplifting other goods, noting that its a victimless crime.  With the door giving access to the games open and a rather biased inner-convo, Bart decides to steal the game.  He makes it out the door, but is stopped just outside by store security.

The security guy tries to call Bart's parents about the attempted shoplift, but they aren't home so a message is left instead.  As Bart leaves, the security guy warns Bart never to step into the store again.  Bart is able to make it home before the family and replace the answering machine tape with a copy of Allen Sherman's Camp Grenada.  Feeling great after seemingly dodging a bullet the next morning, his mood quickly sours when he learns the family is going to the same Try-n-Save to take a family portrait for Christmas.  Despite every attempt to either hide his face or hasten the family's time in the store, Bart is still found by that security guy just as the picture is being taken, and as the latter is about the show the family the incriminating tape, Bart finally reveals that he did indeed shoplift, much to Marge's disappointment.

Marge is still in disbelief over what Bart did, coming to realize that he's grown up, and treats him as such the following day, though in a way which makes it look like she's distancing herself from Bart (though that might've been intentional).  Becoming frustrated over these turn of events, Bart goes back to the Try-n-Save to "show what a black sheep can do".  Upon returning home, Marge notices Bart hiding something again and goes to confront him, but Bart reveals he had taken another photo of himself, with the receipt stapled on, and Marge forgives Bart.  She lets Bart get his present early, which as she was told by a clerk at the store what one game every boy wants, Bart gets the hot new game Lee Carvallo's Putting Challenge.  Bart is able to express joy over the gift, and he and his mother reconcile.  Bart, I assume, then gives the game a try before quitting out of boredom.

Quick Review
Marge Be Not Proud is a solid episode, with good gags throughout though most of the hilarity comes from the video game related plotlines, not so much the shoplifting ones.

Final Score: 8.7