Fland Canyon (S27, E19-593)

Hehe, mule.  (I'm gonna get a laugh out of this episode somehow)

Plot Summary
In an attempt to get Maggie to fall asleep, Homer tells the baby a story.  Trying to recall a boring story, Homer eventually recalls a memory from two years prior.  In it, the Flanders' family is rewarded for their charity work with a trip to the Grand Canyon, but its a two-family trip.  Reverend Lovejoy, whose wife definitely does not want to go with the Flanders', suggests they take the Simpsons, who reluctantly agree.

At the Canyon, the Simpson family and the Flanders family find their own ways to annoy one another.  However, on a trek through the inner part of the canyon, the families lose their guide, and lose their way.  Stranded, Homer and Ned make the decision to set out and find help.  Eventually, the two stumble upon a "campsite" full of rich media elites who have an extravagant setup despite the locale.  The two agree to steal some of their bountiful food and supplies, escaping via a raft.  With that, the two families are eventually rescued and Homer and Ned form a friendship, supposedly.

Having finished his story (and putting both Maggie and Lisa - who came in halfway through - to sleep), Ned reveals through the window that he'd been listening in as well.  Homer decides to be a good pal to Ned and take him on a trip: to the postcard museum, which Ned deeply enjoys.

Quick Review
Well, its not offensively bad, nor is it reference heavy.  Its just boring and overall unfunny.  So, it could be worse, but it could've been good and its not.  (I guess you could say it was 'Bland Canyon' but you probably shouldn't, its too corny).

Final Score: 6.3

I'm Goin' to Praiseland (S12, E19-267)

In this creepy moment, Ned assumes the form of his beloved dead wife.

Plot Summary
At a church-hosted ice cream social, Ned Flanders comes across Rachel Jordan, whom he met at the end of the episode where his wife died.  At the end of that episode, it seemed like Ned was ready to move on from Maude's passing, however this episode makes it abundantly clear he hasn't.  After the Simpson family coerces him into having Rachel stay at his house for the night rather than a hotel, Ned's continued obsession with Maude becomes apparent.  Pictures of her all over the house, all of Maude's stuff still left where they were, even the bed still has Maude's indentation.  Rachel tries to sleep through it anyway but wakes up alarmed when she discovers that Ned is cutting her hair to make it look like Maude's.  Rachel leaves in disgust, and Ned realizes he has a problem.

As Ned takes his boys to the eye doctor, he asks the Simpsons to remove anything that reminds him of Maude.  They 'sort' out everything, but forget to 'sort' one item that Ned uncovers: an old book of Maude's featuring pictures she drew.  As Ned looks through it, he sees designs of a Christian-themed amusement park called Praiseland, perhaps Maude's final dream or some such.  With both of his sons imploring him to build it, Ned decides to do so, able to acquire the old Storytime village which had been out of business for some time.  Ned puts in great effort to build the park, and soon enough its open for business.  With masks of Maude's face and a giant statue of Maude, it seems like her dream is about to come true.

However, Praiseland turns out to be about as fun as one would expect from a Christian-themed park.  Rides consisting mostly of bible verse tellings, plain flavored treats, no beer, no fun at all.  People leave the park en masse, and Ned is forced to deal with the fact that Maude's dream has failed.  Just then, a Maude mask rises from the ground, floating up near the face of Maude's statue.  People view it as a miracle, but eventually the mask falls back down.  Principal Skinner is about to be skeptical, but he collapses to the ground and speaks in tongue.  When he comes to, he admits he had a vision: a vision of his own personal heaven.  People begin to believe the miracle to be real, and Homer convinces everyone to pay $10 to get their own vision, though Marge is able to get the money to go to the orphanage so that Ned would be okay with it.

Things are going along great now, and this time, maybe, Maude's dream will come true.  However, Ned overhears that a grill isn't getting any gas, and that there's probably a leak somewhere.  Ned goes to investigate and, to his horror, learns the leak is right under the Maude statue, meaning the the 'visions' people are having are just them getting high off gas.  Ned considers telling the truth about the matter, but with so much money going to the orphans he opts not to.  Although, you know, gas is poisonous, Ned tries to convince himself that its okay as its making people happy.  Just then, Ned and Homer see a pair of orphans place candles near the statue - near the busted gas line - and remembering another property of gas, rush in to stop the orphans.  They end up tackling the orphans, a rather offensive sight to the uninformed, and they all decide to leave the park in anger.  With no business and the gas leak, Ned is forced to close Praiseland.  At this moment, Rachel Jordan reappears, having read about the park in a paper and wearing a wig to cover up the unmentionable incident.  She and Ned reconcile, and together they finally remove the last creepy thing that reminds Ned of Maude: the imprint on Ned's bed.

Quick Review
So, when Maude died in Season 11, it was done for a few reasons.  One of the reasons was that with Ned now single, it would open up new storylines for him.  This episode would be the first such storyline, and frankly its not very good.  Ned's obsession with Maude is creepy.  Homer's obsession with Ned's love life is creepy.  Letting people get high off gas because they're mistaking it for miraculous visions and the proceeds are going to orphans is, well, not creepy but just plain stupid.  A lot of poorly delivered jokes add to that and it makes for one of the lesser episodes in the series, though its kinda sad that its not even the worst episode of this season.

Final Score: 4.7

Alone Again, Natura-Diddly (S11, E14-240)

I have pinpointed the moment where my heart breaks for this show.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons go on a nature walk when, to Lisa's horror, the preserve has been mostly converted into a racecar track.  In time to see the time trials, the family then gets free tickets to see the big race.  At said race, Homer is astonished to find Ned Flanders and his family there sitting right behind him near the top of the stadium, as they enjoying seeing other oddities that come with car races.  At one point, a group of ladies are shooting out t-shirts with cannons.  Homer practically taunts them to shoot some his way, but when they finally comply, Homer gets distracted and ducks.  The t-shirts instead hit Maude Flanders, and she falls over the back of the stadium, and dies.

As Ned and his two sons try to cope with the tragedy, Marge urges Homer to open himself up to Ned (or at least stop acting like a jerk to him).  Homer obliges, but soon realizes that the best way for Ned to move on from Maude's passing is to get him hooked up with another woman.  In a process that takes two months, he secretly tapes Ned doing mundane tasks and combines the footage into a dating video.  Though Ned initially turns down Homer's idea, the loneliness gets to him and he decides to mail it in.  The subsequent dates, though, don't do much good for Ned.

Ned still has difficulty moving on from Maude, and still questions how she could've been taken from him.  He even quarrels with God, refusing to go to church the next day.  Ned eventually relents, and rushes to church anyway.  There, he hears a Christian rock band led by a woman who reaffirms his devotion to God.  Afterwards, Ned has a talk with the woman, Rachel Jordan, and it seems as though Ned may or may not be ready to move on.

Quick Review
Worst episode ever.

hyuck hyuck

No, really, though.  It really is that bad.

Obviously, the offending moment of the episode is Maude's death, but there's a lot more about it that oozes offensiveness than the actual death of Maude Flanders.

First off, the manner of her death.  Hit by t-shirts shot out of a cannon after Homer unwittingly ducks, tumbling over the back of a racetrack stadium, with no rails to stop her fall.  Its so ridiculous it gives elf jockeys a run for its money.  There is no emotional buildup whatsoever, it is by all intents and purposes a shock death.

Second, the real-life reasons behind her death.  Her normal voice actress left the show, and despite the fact that Maude had been voiced by someone else during this season and despite the fact that actress had voiced other characters, they decided to kill Maude.  Then it had been admitted that the move was made as a ratings grab.  To think, the almighty Simpsons machine needs the senseless death of a character to grab ratings.  Lastly, the move was made to open up new storylines for Ned, and we all know how smashing a success that "Nedna" campaign was (ironically, there was a bit in this episode where Ned dates Edna).

Maude's funeral was also not one of the series' high points.  Did they really need to put the phrase "Grampa's girlfriend" in Beatrice Simmons' grave?  Did they really need to have the t-shirt girls and the racecar advertising on Maude's casket as part of a settlement suit?  Well, Reverend Lovejoy's summation of Maude's character was nice, but still the entire thing seemed completely unnecessary.  To me, this was when the Simpsons jumped the shark, when it passed the point where it could no longer redeem itself even if it has a few more gems down the line.  I remember this episode being completely unfunny when I first watched it 13 years ago, and my feelings toward it remain unchanged.  It really is the worst episode of the Simpsons, ever (until Season 25, which is really, really sad).

Final Score: 3.0

Viva Ned Flanders (S10, E10-213)

"Chop, chop!  Dig, dig!  Chop, chop!  Dig, dig!"

Plot Summary
Various townsfolk, including the Simpsons, attend the implosion of the Monty Burns Casino.  However, nobody is really aware of what occurs at an implosion, and when the building does implode, soot and dust get everywhere.  Upon taking the car to a car wash, Homer notices Ned Flanders getting a senior citizen discount for his wash, which draws his suspicion.  Homer tries to bust Ned at church, where its learned that Ned is 60 years old.  How does a guy look so good at 60?  By doing absolutely zero risk-taking, absolutely zero means of fun.  Slighted by the crowd's reaction to his secrets, Ned wonders if he has, indeed, wasted his life.

Noticing Homer doing some crazy thing or another, Ned realizes he can ask Homer for help to get him some 'fun'.  Homer agrees to do so, though he gets Ned to sign over his power of attorney in the process.  Recalling that gambling is a good way to have fun, Homer tries to take Ned to the Monty Burns Casino.  Recalling that it was just imploded, Homer takes Ned to Las Vegas instead.  Ned is overwhelmed by the bright lights and attractions of the city.  Urged by Homer to let loose, Ned decides to have a decent drink.  Somehow it turns into a bender for both Homer and Ned and after a wild night that neither man can remember, Ned declares success in his mission to have more fun.  However, during that wild night the two men also married the cocktail waitresses that served them the drinks.

With video proof that the two drunk men married the waitresses last night, both Homer and Ned start to freak out, with Homer eventually deciding to just make a break for it.  The two try to escape the casino, but are eventually caught, beaten up, and tossed out of the state (though their marriages to the waitresses are never annulled, which will come back up a few seasons from now).  The two walk back home, coming up with an excuse for their regular wives while vultures tail them.

Quick Review
I enjoyed this episode, even if it did take Ned's character into some strange places this time around (60?  That would make his beatnik parents too old for them to be beatniks for a 90s episode), but there's enough laughs once Homer and Ned reach Vegas to carry the episode to respectability.

Final Score: 8.2

The Twisted World of Marge Simpson (S08, E11-164)

The "Whitey-Whackers", contributing to a dark day in baseball.

Plot Summary
Marge is a member of the "Springfield Investorettes", a group that includes Helen Lovejoy, Maude Flanders, Agnes Skinner, Edna Krabappel and Luann Van Houten.  The group seems to have made a wise investment previously, but now want to take those profits and invest in a small business.  Marge is the only one of the group to oppose the idea, and because it was apparently a final straw, the group kicks Marge out.  Later, Marge is convinced by her family that she should invest in a business herself to show the Investorettes what she can do.

Marge goes to a franchising expo, but is initially unable to find something that suits her.  She's discouraged further when the Investorettes take interest in a Pita stand, something Marge might have possibly of thought about taking an interest in.  Just then, a man at a Pretzel Wagon stand is able to convince Marge to start up a pretzel business.

Although marketing and making the pretzels aren't difficult, selling them is a whole different game.  An attempt to sell that at the power plant, with Homer's help, fails when the Investorettes' Pita van steals her customer base.  Faulty coupon creation coupled with an incident at a baseball game where all of her sampler pretzels are wasted to be thrown at Mr. Burns (and later Whitey Ford), Marge gives up.  Unwilling to see Marge like this, Homer decides to help.  He tries to contact the Pretzel Wagon guy, but he has died in a car accident.  Out of options, Homer decides to ask the mafia for aid.

The mafia is quick to work, sabotaging non-pretzel food options in Springfield, including the Pita van.  Marge's sales go through the roof, blissfully unaware of the mafia's hand in it.  Soon, though, Fat Tony tries to collect from Homer, but when Homer escapes, he goes after Marge instead, giving her 12 hours to cough up all of the profits from her pretzel sales.  After Marge and Homer come to an understanding over what happened, they confront the mafia the next morning, refusing to give in.  Just before the mafia advances on them, the Investorettes appear, having 'caught on' to Marge's 'game', and hired a mafia of their own: the Japanese Yakuza.  As the two mobs engage in battle, the Simpson couple retreat into the house to avoid getting caught in the middle.  Good times.

Quick Review
This episode has its moments, like Skinner's supposed "boaking" accident, or the scene at the baseball game.  The mafia and its battle with the Yakuza was a superb way to the end the episode as well.  Still, besides those moments there wasn't too much funny going on, with a few other good jokes here and there.

Final Score: 8.9

Hurricane Neddy (S08, E08-161)

"Come on in!  It's your master bedroom!"

Plot Summary
A hurricane is coming towards Springfield.  Apparently, Springfield is at a spot where that can happen.  After the mad rush for emergency supplies occur, Homer has everyone go into the cellar to hide (aka the "Grampa" drill).  After some time, the hurricanes finally passes though.  Miraculously, the Simpson home is left mostly unscathed, as is the case with nearly every other home in town with one notable exception: Ned Flanders, whose home was completely demolished, with only the family and the family tombstones surviving the devastation.

The house wasn't insured, as Ned considers insurance 'a form of gambling', so that's a major loss.  As the Flanders family heads to a rescue shelter at the church,  they learn to their dismay that robbers and looters and focused their attention on Ned's Leftorium shop, creating another major loss.  Ned can't even flip a page in the Holy Bible without cutting his finger.  Ned wants to scream out, but finds himself unable to.

The next day, Marge visits the Flanders with big news: the townsfolk has pitched in and worked together to rebuild Ned's home.  At first the family is impressed and grateful, however as they tour the home it becomes apparently, especially upstairs, that the house (built by Springfield townspeople, mind you) is poorly constructed and barely livable.  After the tour is done and everybody is outside the house, it collapses upon itself.  Its the last straw for Ned, who goes on a tirade against any and everybody he comes in contact with.  He then leaves angrily, driving away on his own to a mental institution to have himself committed.

A nurse catches wind of this and contacts one Dr. Foster, who is familiar with Ned.  When the two meet again, some backstory is shown: Ned's parents, previously revealed as beatniks, refuses to punish a young Ned, who as a result is a violent, unruly child.  Having tried nothing and running out of ideas, the two seek Dr. Foster's help, who comes up with an experimental plan: spanking Ned non-stop for eight months.  The method works too well: Ned is no longer capable of expressing anger, speaking gib-diddly-berish whenever he would otherwise be upset.  Realizing Ned needs to healthily release his anger, Dr. Foster brings in the one person Ned can't stand the most: Homer.

The doctor prepares some statements for Homer to say to Ned, including "past instances in which I professed to like you were fraudulent" and "I engaged in intercourse with your spouse or significant other", but Ned isn't bothered by this.  Instead, Homer tries to get Ned to admit he just likes everything, but after a short ramble, Ned blurts out that he hates the post office... and also his 'lousy beatnik' parents.  Realizing that Ned is now capable of expressing anger without expressing too much anger, Dr. Foster proclaims Ned 'cured', and Ned meets a joyous town outside, though this new Ned won't be taking anybody's nonsense anytime soon.

Quick Review
This is one of Season 8's best episodes.  The hurricane bit that started the show, the showing of Ned's shoddy new home, Ned's meltdown on everybody including poor Lenny, and Homer's 'conversation' with him were all excellent moments in this episode, providing a hilarious stream of jokes from beginning to end.

Final Score: 10

Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily (S07, E03-131)

Ned: "Do you reject Satan, and all his empty promises?"
Homer: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Plot Summary
One morning, after the kids go to school, Homer takes Marge out to three hours at a bath house, though Marge is initially resistant as the house is a mess and she needs to clean up, but Homer has Grampa look over Maggie and the two are off.  At the same time, its learned that Bart has lice from a previous incident when a monkey Milhouse found in a wicker basket was all over Bart.  Principal Skinner concludes that if Bart has lice, then Lisa is likely to have it as well.  While that doesn't appear to be the case, Lisa has her own share of troubles as her shoes have been stolen beyond her retrieval and also takes a soccer ball to the back of her head.  Seeing both Simpson children in disarray, Skinner believes something is up and calls Child Welfare services to investigate the home.  There, the social workers find the house in a mess, with Grampa too out of it to do any actual defending.  The Simpson children come home, Bart wearing a sack of potatoes and Lisa having bags for shoes.  Homer and Marge return from their spa trip to find the social workers taking the children away for gross parental negligence, and takes the three children to a foster home: the Flanders' house right next door.

Homer and Marge try to get their kids back, but learn they have to pass a "family skills" course featuring rather basic parenting and hygiene techniques.  Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa find themselves unable to adapt to the oddities of the Flanders' home, including "nachos" made with cucumbers and cottage cheese, reading Newsweek instead of nothing, and something known as "Ice Milk".  However, Maggie starts taking a shine to her new home, something that starts to concern her older siblings.  One night, during a bible-themed game of Bombardment, Ned learns to his horror that the Simpson children were never baptised.  Panicked, Ned decides to take matters into his own hands, and baptise the Simpson children himself.

Homer and Marge have passed the course and go to retrieve their kids, but find that the Flanders' have "Gone Baptizin".  Homer is quickly able to deduce that they've gone to the Springfield River, and they arrive just in the nick of time.  Homer is forced to take a baptismal in place of Bart, gaining a fleeting moment of enlightenment, but the Simpson children are spared.  Maggie, though, is reluctant to leave the Flanders', having treated her so well, while the Simpsons seem rather dank in comparison.  However, Marge finally arrives, and Maggie is more than happy to be reunited with her mother.  The Simpson family is reunited, and they walk off enjoying Bart and Lisa's tales of the Flanders house.

Quick Review
Another great episode, and an interesting peek into the eerie nature of the Flanders home.  The plot behind the kids being fostered to their neighbors was a bit far-fetched but it made for some great moments, and the last few minutes where Homer chases down and saves his kids from eternal salvation were superb.

Final Score: 9.5

When Flanders Failed (S03, E03-038)

Homer, enjoying his wishbone victory whilst enjoying a hamburger.

Plot Summary
Flanders invites a lot of people to a barbecue of his, including the Simpsons.  Its there that he announces he's quitting the pharmaceutical industry and is going to try his hand at running a store for left-handed people.  Later that day, Flanders asks Homer how he thinks of the idea, which Homer replies is a stupid one.  Maude comes in and has the two pull at a wishbone.  Homer tries to come up with cool ideas for a wish, but when Ned rushes him, Homer comes up with the wish that Ned's business flops and goes out of business (after deciding that Ned flat-out dying was too far).  Homer wins the wishbone tug of war, and laughs heartily at its implications, though the Flanders' don't really understand why.

In a subplot, Marge is concerned about Bart's weight, so Bart convinces Marge to have him take karate lessons after watching a commercial.  However, Bart's interest in karate quickly drops when the first class involves reading Sun Tzu's Art of War.  So, Bart keeps ditching classes to play at the arcade.  When asked by Marge what he learned, Bart claims he learned the "Touch of Death" (taken from one of the games he played), and spends some time threatening Lisa with said touch in order to get her to obey.  However, this plan backfires when Jimbo and his bully friends mess with Lisa, taking her saxophone in the process, and she gets Bart to fight them back believing he had learned some karate.  Bart gets beaten up, however, and Lisa laments over how two wrongs made a right in this instance.

While Homer was dropping Bart off for those "lessons", he would check in on Flanders' business, only to see it floundering, only getting publicity because Flanders would validate parking tickets without purchase.  During Homer's day he comes across many people who could use left-handed itemry, but Homer declines to tell them about Ned's shop despite the opportunities to.  Quickly, Flanders finds himself having to see off his possessions (and Homer taking full advantage by buying them for dirt cheap), and having to face debt collectors.  Homer is enjoying all of this, until he sees Flanders' shop going out of business.  Feeling bad, Homer goes to return Ned's $300 grill that Homer got for only $20, to find out that Ned has just lost his house.  Believing it to be his fault because of the wishbone thing, Homer sets out to make things right.

After telling Ned to reopen his store tomorrow, a move Ned figures to be pointless, Homer makes a series of calls, and soon the whole town, or parts of it, learn about Ned's left-handed store.  Ned returns to the store the next day to find it packed full of left-handed patrons ready and willing to spend for his merchandise.  One such person, Mr. Burns, is delighted to of found left-handed can openers, and also opts to purchase a car with a left-handed stick that Ned had displayed in the shop.  With the car's purchase, Ned's house and business are saved, and he and Homer consider one another friends.

Quick Review
In the continuation of the development of Ned Flanders' character, we learn that he - and what seems like several key members of Springfield - are left handed.  In addition, we see that Homer's willingness to like and help Ned is somewhat inversely proportion to how successful Homer perceives Flanders to be at a given moment.  In the end, Homer's gesture help the two become friends, a fact that only holds true about half the time in future episodes.

This was a good episode, a bit lacking on the laughs, but I still enjoyed it as it did end on a warm note, and Bart's antics were fun to watch as well.  I'm rating it a bit low here because the quantity of jokes just wasn't there, but be sure of this: it was a good episode.

Final Score: 7.4