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| Its also plausible for a woman to not care about a guy bringing along another guy for every date. |
The Simpsons eat at a Chinese restaurant, where Homer is displeased over how lame and generic the fortune cookie fortunes are. He's able to come up with much better material on the spot, and so he's hired by the restaurant to come up with fortunes.
A short time later, Mr. Burns orders some Chinese to go, apparently from the same restaurant. He reads his fortune: "You will find love on Flag Day." With it currently being Flag Day, Burns quickly drags Smithers along to quickly find a woman to fall in love with. However, all the socialites his age are taken up by either Rich Uncle Pennybags or Scrooge McDuck, and the strip clubs are a little too wild for him as well. On the way back to his car, park across the street because why not, he falls in love with the policewoman who is writing up his ticket. With Flag Day seconds away from ending, he's able to convince the woman, Gloria, to go out with him, though she might've agreed out of pity.
After a day at a carnival where nothing went wrong, Burns attempts to ask Gloria out on a second date, but Gloria is about to decline and go on with her life. Desperate, Burns gets Homer, who was coincidentally nearby, and has Homer help him convince Gloria that Burns is worthwhile, somehow succeeding. They go to a disco for a second date, with Homer coming along to help out. At the date's conclusion, Burns is able to convince Gloria to make love to him. To make up for the fact that he's an old man, Burns had acquired an extremely potent and rare aphrodisiac that works, well, good enough for Gloria to fall in love with him, anyway. Burns and Gloria go on several more dates with Homer tagging along to keep Burns looking hip and cool.
At a bowling alley, Burns decides to propose to Gloria, and she accepts. As Burns goes off gleefully to get champagne, believing that nothing can ruin this day, Snake walks into the bowling alley looking to rob it. He recognizes Gloria, who was his old girlfriend (the part where she's a police officer is apparently no longer a thing). As Gloria rebukes Snake's attempts to get back with him, Snake just ups and grabs Gloria - as well as Homer who tried poorly to stop him. Gloria drops her engagement ring, and when Burns returns to find only the ring and nobody else, he believes Homer and Gloria ditched Burns.
Snake has Homer drive the three of them to his hideout out in the countryside, where Snake ties the two up in chairs. Cletus witnesses this, and reports it to the police who have been helping Burns with his search. They arrive along with the Simpson family to the hideout. Snake's attempts to win back Gloria by beating up Homer haven't been working, and as the two bicker, Homer attempts to free himself by burning his rope on a furnace. This plan literally backfires, and Homer ends up burning up the entire house. Homer and Snake run out in time, but Gloria is still trapped inside. Burns musters up both courage and strength and is able to enter the house to free Gloria, though its Gloria that comes outside holding Burns. The two are reunited, but as Gloria attempts to explain to Burns how over Snake she is, she falls in love with Snake anyway, and ends the engagement. Burns is flabbergasted, and the Simpson family attempts to console him.
Quick Review
I'm probably thinking about the oddities of this episode a bit too much. I mean, I guess its somewhat plausible for a police officer to be in love with a criminal, even if he's still committing crimes. Its probably plausible for a man over the age of 100 to be good in bed thanks to a super rare aphrodisiac. Its could even be plausible for a woman to spend a third of an episode being completely over a criminal but then swoon for him at the very end on what seems like a whim even though her old man fiancee just rescued her.
Still, all these possible plausibilities hurt my enjoyment of what wasn't going to be a great episode anyway. The jokes weren't all the plentiful and, as I've said, the plot of the episode leaves a lot to be desired. This is rare instance when an episode focused on Mr. Burns actually doesn't pan out so well.
Final Score: 6.6
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