Moho House (S28, E21-617)

"Hey we have another important black character with a course voice
that we need to cast."  "Should we find a guest star or wh-"
"GET ME KEVIN MICHAEL RICHARDSON RIGHT NOW!"

Plot Summary
Marge and Homer are having marital difficulties, again.  They attempt to patch things up at the nuclear plant, an attempts which is going well.  Its witnessed by Mr. Burns and a wealthy friend of his, Nigel.  The two are at odds at whether "true love" exists, with Nigel claiming that the "true love" they're witnessing on the security camera isn't real.  He bets $5 million that he can break Homer and Marge up, which Burns accepts.

That afternoon, Nigel forces Homer to go drinking with him under the veiled threat of punishment.  At the bar, Nigel notices that Moe is attracted to Marge and decides to use this to his advantage by hiring Moe to head his new classy bar.  Homer doesn't get home until late, and Marge refuses to hear his side of the story, putting their marriage on the brink (again). 

Nigel invites the Simpson couple to the new bar (Moho House), and the two immediately go their separate ways once inside.  Moe catches up with Marge, who is more than open to even his advances.  Still, at the end Moe is unwilling to go all the way and sheepishly retreats.  Nigel, eyeing a victory, sweetens the bet: his own fortune to Burns, or Burns forfeits Smithers.  Realizing his peril, Smithers attempts to force Homer to reconcile by giving him a gift to give Marge, but Marge realizes the ploy right away and runs off in tears.

Moe, realizing his part in this story, invites Marge and Homer separately to Moho House and gets the two to reconcile at his own sacrifice.  This, coupled with Homer's last-second callback to nostalgia, and Marge decides to forgive Homer (again).  Burns wins his bet (though Smithers gets his revenge by tricking Burns into believing Nigel was never there, thus saving Nigel's fortune), and all is back to what it was.

Quick Review
Its a marriage episode whose final act was a sloppy mess.  That said, many of the gags in this episode worked in its favor despite the retreaded theme, leaving it as (sadly) one of the stronger episodes of the season.

Final Score: 7.3

Caper Chase (S28, E19-615)

"We know who has made campus culture so stupid,
b-but we're afraid to actually say it, so lets
have squash players represent them!  We're g-good,
right?", probably thought the spineless writers.

Plot Summary
Feeling the need to secure nuclear power's place in the future, Mr. Burns intends to fund a nuclear energy wing at his alma matter, Yale.  Yale, like most modern "colleges" nowadays, declines his offer because its not diverse enough or too heteronormative, whatever that really means.  Upset, Burns later gets advice from Verlander, the owner of multiple low-end colleges to start up his own college, and Lenny further lets him know that you can set up for-profit colleges, so now Burns is all over that.

Burns relocates his plant workers to teach at his college because he doesn't really care at this point.  Homer is, at first, overwhelmed by the act of teaching (somehow) but Lisa, getting over her initial shock of the concept of for-profit colleges, helps instill a sense of passion for his work.  Despite not actually knowing about whatever it is Burns' college is supposed to be about, Homer's passion for teaching inspires his students in some way.  The man who previously gave Burns the idea for the college sees this and is able to get Burns to sell Homer's contract to the man.

Homer, alongside several shoehorned "smart" guest stars, are tasked by Verlander to teach an army of female androids, whose purpose is ultimately revealed to be to sign up for student loans at his colleges so he can rake up profits, I guess.  Homer gets wise to this plot and, after six months apparently, is able to short-circuit the androids by taking advantage of the college climate - the androids are college students, so Homer did something offensive to robots, triggering the androids so badly they exploded.  At the episode's end, he somehow gets the guest stars to teach things to his family.

Quick Review
This episode jumped between "college climate is absurd" to "Homer is a teacher" to "crazy villain plot C" to "college climate is absurd" again.  The guest stars, some of whom are notable but none of whom I feel like mentioning here, provide no real bonus to the episode - I could even say the episode could've benefited without their inclusion and have parodied versions of these people instead, they were that unimpressive.

There were some good jokes here and there but otherwise the episode was dull.  Its wasn't the political disaster I was partly expecting either.  Overall, its your typical zombie Simpson fare.

Final Score: 6.5

The Great Phatsby (S28, E12-608 & E13-609)

Note: The Great Phatsby is the first hour-long "episode" in the series.  However, for all intents and purposes, its actually two episodes and, as far as I know, its officially counted as the 12th and 13th episodes of the season.  Regardless, I'm doing episode reviews for both parts on this single page.  They were basically the same in terms of quality, anyway.  With that...

The Great Phatsby: Part One

Goosius, more like Goofsius, a-am I-I r-right?  *panicked sweat*

Plot Summary
Mr. Burns longs for the days where he led and hosted lavish, fun parties with his fellow rich socialites.  He attempts to do so again, tasking Smithers to acquire ice but only from the darkest corners of Canada.  Before he departs, Smithers tasks Homer to hand out invitations to Springfield's best but he hands them out randomly.  Not that it matters, as Burns hosts a poor excuse of a party with antiquated rules and an antiquated band.  As the guests leave out of boredom, Homer is the only one that remains to comfort a depressed Burns. 

Homer and Burns, however, notice a big party happening across the lake: a rap mogul party.  The two find the host: Jay-G who owes his success and ruthlessness to a book Burns wrote long ago about ruthlessness as well as a pet goose who acts as a living symbol for his entire line: Goosius.  As Mr. Burns is basically his idol and mentor, Jay-G befriends him.  Convinced to use a top-of-the-line credit card Burns starts to spend his money freely and carelessly, feeling as though he's gone back to the glory days of his youth.

While this is happening, the other Simpsons hang out at the Hamptons near where Jay-G (and Burns, apparently) live.  As its basically rich-person town, Marge comes to learn that all of the shops are owned by the spouses of the rich who need something to do with their free time.  Lisa becomes disgusted by the son of one of the richest men in town, Blake, who is an utter douchebag.  However, Lisa's open disgust of him opens Blake up to "check his privilege" to impress her.  Lisa nearly is until another rich kid successfully entices Lisa with ponies and pony accessories, leaving Blake's humility unwarranted.

Burns' new lifestyle, complete with a posse (albeit its just Homer and his friends), comes to a crashing end when its learned the Burns literally spent all of his money on lavish purchases.  Homer then lets Burns know that Jay-G just released a music video basically admitting his plan to bankrupt Burns and take over all of his possessions, including the nuclear plant, leaving Burns in ruins.

The Great Phatsby: Part Two

Talk about ruthless...

Plot Summary
Torn between his 'loyalty' to Burns and working for Jay-G at the nuclear plant, Homer chooses the latter as dictated by Marge (who has haphazardly opened up a trinket shop in the Hamptons).  Jay-G, who now owns the plant and turned it into a dance party, attempts to secure Homer to his side with endless supplies of cobbler, but Homer regrets his decision.  Stumbling along, he finds Burns being weird at the mausoleum.  Homer renews his loyalty for Burns and together they decide to enact revenge on Jay-G.

With Bart along to help, its decided the best way to ruin Jay-G is to ruin his rep.  To do so, they learn that Jay-G burned many bridges during his ruthless rise to the top.  The two are able to get several rappers and an ex-wife to record a revenge album exposing Jay-G as a fraud.  During a big reveal party, however, its revealed that Jay-G literally re-bought the loyalty of all the rappers and the ex-wife, and that the drive containing the apparently only recording of the album is also in his possession.

Devastated by the decided defeat, Homer and Burns return to Marge's flailing shop to inform her of what's occurred.  With Marge finally free of her delusion of store ownership, Burns simply sulks until he realizes there's been a perfect revenge scheme all along.

Soon, he and Homer sneak into Jay-G's home to nab Goosius with the intent of cooking and eating him.  However, Homer doesn't have the heart to kill Goosius, leaving Burns to attempt to finish the act himself.  Jay-G attempts to stop him, the shenanigans of which leave the two hanging from a chandelier.  Here, Jay-G admits he only ruined Burns because in Burns' own book he wrote that one could only be truly ruthless if they were to destroy the "one who made you".  Burns suddenly feels pride that his legacy of ruthlessness will live on through Jay-G.

The two are still hanging onto the chandelier, but as it falls, Smithers returns with his ice, which has since melted into soft slush that Burns and Jay-G fall into.  Apparently, Jay-G returns Burns' possessions including the plant, but Burns has also learned some things as well, allowing a impromptu dance session at the plant but learns better of it almost immediately.

Double Review
Here are the things I liked about the episodes:

• Smithers' quest for ice.
• The entire Hamptons side story with Marge, including crazy shop sign man.
• Homer's narration.
• Most of the parts with just Homer.
• Bart's role in Part 2.

 Here are the things I didn't like about the episodes:

• Most of the rap stuff.  Sorry, it was a) boring and b) not funny.  Unfortunately, that makes up a lot of these two episodes.
• Lisa's sidestory with Blake.
• The guest voices were mostly dull or pointless, for instance Charles Barkley's entire contribution was "Still better than Shaq!", I mean, why even bother?
• The part in, uh, Part 2, when the revenge group betrayed Burns, where Jay-G and his new sold out gang appear to Burns as holograms, like this isn't goddamn Star Trek why didn't they just show up at the thing?

Part 2, I felt, tried more with the jokes, albeit there were more misses than in Part 1.  Part 1 was dull in several spots, like when Homer and Burns were wading through Jay-G's party and the entire thing with Blake wasn't very good either.  I think the episodes would've fared better if, in Part 1, the Blake stuff was gone and the stuff with Jay-G was funnier.  Part 2 would've been better if the entire middle portion wasn't the "guest voice" segment that basically brought the whole thing down.  The first acts of both parts were the best things going for each.

So, overall, these two episodes fared about the same, and about on average for your Season 28 / Zombie Simpsons episode.  Given the pomp and circumstance of it being an episode so grand you needed a whole hour to get through it, though, its certainly underwhelming even with the lessened expectations of this era of Simpsons.

Part 1 Final Score: 6.4
Part 2 Final Score: 6.6
Combined Final Score: 6.5

Pork and Burns (S28, E11-607)

"Why did you bring me back?  Just end me now.", the pig is likely thinking.

Plot Summary
Marge takes heed of a questionable Japanese tidiness guide and has the family start throwing stuff away if it is believed that it doesn't bring them joy.  Lisa, in particular, freaks out over this, and finds that a lot of things in her life do not bring her joy and are subsequently discarded.  Homer is reluctant to give up so many of his prized possessions, and that includes his prized pig, Plopper, previously known as Spider-Pig.  Homer doesn't want to give the pig up but Marge forces him to.  After a failed attempt, Homer learns that some pets can act as therapy pets for cases such as anxiety, and thus Homer successful gets Plopper to be his security pet with whom he brings all over with him.

Homer's demeanor calms as Plopper really does act as a therapy pet for Homer.  Soon, the family goes to a family function hosted by Mr. Burns.  Burns' hounds pick up the scent of the pig, and rush at it, maiming though not killing the pig.  Burns and crew confiscate the pig under the premise of healing it but in actuality they just want to eat it.  However, after the pig is fixed Burns takes a liking to the pig and decides to make it his pet.  Homer catches on and sneaks in at night to get it back.  Smithers aids in this endeavor as Burns fondness of the pig has made him pretty jealous.  Homer is so happy to get his pig back he's even willing to forgo beer to stay with him, a mistake Marge gladly takes Homer up on.

While that's happening, Lisa continues ridding herself of everything that brings her no joy, which now includes even her saxophone.  Bart is able to help her overcome her funk by giving her back her passion for music, and Marge later reveals she didn't actually throw anything away, she just put it all in a storage locker, so Lisa ends up okay, again.

Quick Review
The episode started off very poorly and the Lisa sideplot was fairly dull as well.  I was also hesitant about an episode based around the movie pig - can you believe its nearly been 10 years since the movie? - but the jokes and gags featuring Homer and pig worked quite well for a good chunk of the middle portion of the episode.  After Burns nabs him the episode dips in quality again but up to that point Homer and Plopper were salvaging what was otherwise a terrible episode.

Final Score: 7.0

The Last Traction Hero (S28, E09-605)

Tone it down Marge goddamn, at least Smithers has Burns praying for goodness sake.

Plot Summary
Homer's mischief at work lands him a fall through Mr. Burns' trap door.  However, the trap door is undergoing renovations, and as a results Homer actually gets hurt from it.  Further, because its undergoing renovation, it no longer benefits from old laws which protected Burns from lawsuits.  Essentially, Homer has legal grounds to sue.  Burns sends Smithers to trick Homer into signing a waiver of liability but it only reminds Homer that he can, in fact sue.

While Homer is recuperating, Marge decides to spend more time with him but does so in such a boring way Homer quickly grows weary of her company.  Smithers takes notice of this and decides to befriend Marge, hoping this will somehow get Homer to sign the waiver.  However, as the two talk Marge becomes attracted to Smithers and the latter, realizing this, decides to back off.  Marge, her sexual tension unresolved, decides to use Homer to relieve herself.  Homer realizes what's happened but doesn't care because, hey, sex.

Meanwhile, Lisa catches a fight in the school bus on her phone and reports it to Principal Skinner.  In response, Skinner makes Lisa a bus monitor, and Lisa has complete control over student seating.  As per usual with Lisa, the power goes to her head but eventually the other students rebel, causing mass chaos on the bus.  Lisa realizes that its not that great to be a know-it-all and promises to cut back on it but can't help herself.

Having failed to secure the waiver, Burns orders Smithers to stop visited, which saddens Marge in more ways than one.  Realizing that a friendless Marge is no good, Homer decides to tell Burns he'll drop the lawsuit under the condition that Smithers gets to visit Marge again, which Burns agrees to.  However, because he made his lawyer upset by giving up the lawsuit, Homer makes it up to him by promising to slip on the courthouse steps to setup another lawsuit, however Marge also gets hurt by trying to stop him.  The two reconcile, unable to move on their bed with Grampa spilling hot soup on them all the time, but now they have all the time in the world to talk to each other.

Quick Review
I went into this expecting a marriage-themed episode.  It never reaches that level (i.e. one separates from the other or makes the threat), but from Marge wanting to kiss Smithers and takes those sexual frustrations out on Homer, to Homer being perfectly okay with it, to the point where he was willing to drop a lawsuit to keep being okay with it, just didn't sit right at all.  I guess I should consider myself lucky that it wasn't another marriage episode but the odd characterizations made me wish it was.  Almost.

This episode was another case of where the sidestory was short and pointless.  The humor slows to a crawl in the second half of the episode as well.  Overall, yet another low-tier episode from what has been another low-tier Zombie Simpsons HD season.

Final Score: 6.2

Friends and Family (S28, E02-598)

There's a fatal flaw here: the chopped peanut shells just get into the couch, anyway.

Plot Summary
Mr. Burns' psychiatrist, just before his untimely death, chastises Monty for never even being interested in having a family.  During the psychiatrist's funeral, Mr. Burns' "eulogy" was terrible enough to force him and Smithers to flee.  As they do so, they run over Professor Frink, who was in the middle of trying out his own VR technology.  Burns finds the technology intriguing and basically takes it as Frink receives medical attention.

Later, as Burns bores himself with fantasy video games and porn, not mutually exclusive, Smithers suggests Burns takes up the suggestion of the late psychiatrist and start up a family - a virtual family anyway.  Burns holds open tryouts for such a family - minus any father figure as Burns will be filling that role himself.  Ultimately, the Simpson family, forced to try out as Homer works at the plant, is chosen.  Initially, the family sans Homer stay over to do motion capture for simple scenes, but Burns likes the simulation enough to strengthen the family's contract, including living full time in the Burns mansion - essentially leaving Homer to live by himself.

Although Homer is initially reluctant, once he realizes he can do anything he wants at home, Homer starts to have a blast.  Soon, he befriends Julia, a neighbor who lives in the house behind his.  With many similar interests, the two hit it off right away, though both are fully fine with the relationship remaining platonic.

Eventually, Burns grows tired of dealing with his virtual family not being perfect (such as Bart being a Harvard man of all the devilish things), and fires the Simpson family.  When they return home, Marge overhears Homer talking to Julia and starts to go off on him, but Julia comes in conveniently and explains herself to Marge, calming her down.  Burns runs one final program with his virtual family where he dies and goes to hell, even though the headset isn't plugged in.  The episode ends a few years later where it predicts everyone will be wearing VR headsets and making fools of themselves.

Quick Review
The only really funny parts of this episode were: the family was arguing so much that when Maggie finally talks, she gets so offended over not being noticed she decides to never talk again, and the montage of Homer enjoying his time by himself.

Nothing else about the episode was funny.

This episode combines two things I do not enjoy about the series: referencing current events from over a year ago (lucky for the writers that VR is still relevant), and boring marriage episode, which the episode sneaks in at the end because how else are they going to resolve the "Homer makes a female friend who'll never seriously appear again" plot?

The entirety of Burns' VR plot was boring, and the segments with Julia were only slightly better.  Overall, the episode, while not completely awful, is not worth a watch regardless.

Final Score: 5.8

Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus (S28, E01-597)

Skinner: Attention, an old man is prowling the school
looking for young children, please perform for him.

Plot Summary
The town is stunned when it learns that the Lard Lad statue has mysteriously vanished.  The company installs a new, 'modern' one, whose donut is apparently concave enough to reflect the sun's rays into a death beam, destroying nearly the entire town.  With the town still in shambles six months later, the Simpsons decide to plea with the rich Mr. Burns.  Burns is unwilling but when an old memory stills in him, he is compelled to help with the stipulation that the rebuild focuses on the old Springfield Bowl (an outdoor performance hall), so that he can host a children's performance there.

As Burns rallies up children to be part of his show, including hiring Lisa to be his assistant, memories of a show that he did as a child begin to haunt him.  Ultimately, Lisa triggers one memory too much and Burns cancels the show as a result.

Meanwhile, with Burns preoccupied, the workers at the nuclear plant decide to turn their workplace into a permanent party zone.  Marge expresses her concerns with Homer - who is the plant's lone safety inspector, mind you -  causing Homer to relent and refocus his efforts then on getting the plant back on track.

Later, Lisa presses Burns on his actions, but Smithers shows Lisa what really is getting at Burns.  When Burns was a child, he was entered into a children show similar to the one he's in now, but during his performance his clothes unfurled and his bare butt laid out for all to see.  The ensuing embarrassment and laughter haunts Burns to this day, but Lisa convinces Burns to go through with his new show to get back at those who laughed at him, somewhat.

Burns' show ends up going well, and even gets a surprise fireworks show thanks to Homer's inability to control things at the plant and allowing popcorn to pop just too much in the plant's core.  However, Burns isn't done, and ends the show with the same routine he did as a kid - little sailor's suit and all.  It goes just as poorly - little butt baring and all.  Still, somehow, Burns is no longer haunted by the past and thanks Lisa for her help, I guess?

Quick Review
This was a bland, boring episode.  Yeah, a few decent jokes here and there (and some that missed the mark) but not nearly enough to salvage things.  The sideplot with the nuclear plant was the episode's strong point as the main plot with Burns (and Lisa, who tends to drag things whenever she's the focus as we're all mostly aware of now) wasn't good.  The Adventure Time homage couch gag was cringey as well.  Season 28 is off to a poor start.

Final Score: 6.1

The Burns Cage (S27, E17-591)

Remember when Burns gave Castro the trillion-dollar bill?  Those were fun times...

Plot Summary
After Mr. Burns spurs Smithers' attempts at affection, the latter takes out his frustrations on Homer, Lenny and Carl, making them do menial tasks at work.  The three pick up on this and set up a social event for Smithers to find a boyfriend and let off their asses.  The ploy ultimately works - Smithers and the bartender Julio hook up.

Meanwhile, the elementary school is hosting a production of Casablanca, and Lisa wins the lead role of Ilsa.  Milhouse comes to believe that co-stars will inevitably fall in love and as such auditions for the role of Rick.  Being the only one to do so, Milhouse initially wins the role but from out of nowhere, a gruff, 40s-speaking kid named Jack comes along and takes the role right from Milhouse.  After Bart tells him that the role would default back to him should Jack no longer be able to act, Milhouse hires Jimbo and pals to beat Jack up.  However, Jack beats them up, but importantly Principal Skinner witnesses this and punishes Jack for his violence by giving the role back to Milhouse.  This upsets Lisa, as Milhouse is a terrible actor, but Marge gives Lisa the advice to make Milhouse think he's doing a good job in hopes he actually improves.  The night of the play, the advice seems to pay off as Milhouse performs the role well.  Afterward, however, its revealed Jack had disguised himself as Milhouse for the play, and it was him that was acting as Milhouse acting as Rick.  Lisa is impressed enough and walks off with the object of her enamor.

Though Smithers is initially happy with his relationship with Julio - enough so that he gains the fortitude to quit his job (and Mr. Burns), soon Smithers' years of servitude to Burns come back to haunt the relationship.  Smithers' Burns-specific quirks annoy Julio, which ultimately reveal to Smithers that, deep down, he still loves Burns and the two break up.  Meanwhile, Mr. Burns' business has gone to hell without Smithers' steady hand.  The two meet up to reconcile, and as Burns admits that Smithers' service has been "excellent", Smithers admits that's enough to get him back with Burns.

Quick Review
So, apparently, this episode has garnered national attention mostly because of the Smithers plotline (and some are stupid enough to claim Smithers is "coming out" in this episode even though its been implied or outright stated he's gay since nearly the beginning).  That attention focuses on how its cool that the show is tackling LGBT issues or whatever (and I'm not surprised media outlets are covering that angle, given how clickbaitey they've become).

That's fine and all, but I'm sure its possible, somehow, in some way, to write such a pandering episode and.... wait for it... make it funny.

The Smithers' storyline was dry, boring and - save for a few decent gags from Burns himself - absolutely dull.  The sidestory featuring - guess who - Season 27's darling Lisa! was slightly better and I liked the few moments in which Jack was a character.  That helped bring the episode over the 6 line, which is sad to say.  After the previous episode was such a pleasant surprise, this episode was nothing but terrible disappointment.

Final Score: 6.4

The Princess Guide (S26, E15-567)

Nothing like depressing books to help a depressed man live life!

Plot Summary
Mr. Burns' nuclear plant still hasn't recovered from the damage done by Elon Musk three episodes ago.  As such, Mr. Burns welcomes a Nigerian king (for real) to set up an uranium deal.  Burns admits that if the deal doesn't happen, Burns will be forced to sell his things and move to the south Pacific with Smithers, something Smithers imagines to be rather pleasant, and thus subsequently hopes the uranium deal fails.

The king requests that Burns hire a bodyguard for his princess daughter who traveled with him, and Burns decides to hire Homer, seeing Homer treat Lisa well during "take your daughter to work day". Knowing of Homer's incompetence, Smithers agrees with Burns' choice hoping that Homer's involvement will secure the deal's failure.  That night, Homer is persuaded by the princess to go out, and thus Homer takes her out to the only place he ever goes out to at night: Moe's.  Moe learns of the princess' origin, then in a panic immediately takes Homer to a room in the back to explain that, some time previous, he got scammed by a Nigerian prince (not for real), and that this lady may be related to him.  As Homer tries to talk Moe out of it, they both learn the princess has left on her own.

Homer goes out to look for her, but gets arrested under the (for once, mistaken) notion of being publicly drunk.  The princess, however, immediately goes back to the bar to talk with Moe some more, alone.  Moe, at first, tries to discern whether or not the scam prince is actually her brother, but as the two continue to talk, those pretenses are dropped, and a connection between the two is made. As the princess decides to sleep at the bar for the night, Moe drops his quest and is happy to of made a lady friend.  The next day, the two go on a montage of sightseeing, but Homer catches up and demands Moe give her up.  Moe runs off with her, but the princess admits she needs to go back.  She kisses Moe on the forehead before she leaves, but is caught by a paparazzo, who takes a picture that quickly virals on the web, catching the eye of the Nigerian king, who becomes so upset with Burns he decides to end negotiations, all going to Smithers' plan.

Later, all parties involved meet in Burns' office, where the princess admits the kiss happened, but it was not a romantic kiss, but rather, well, a platonic one.  Moe understands and is still happy she's otherwise okay with him, while Homer convinces the king to forgive his daughter and go through with the uranium deal, shattering Smithers' hopes.  Later, the princess is forced to field questions from the press, which Moe helps defuse, and the two exchange gifts before she leaves for Nigeria.

Quick Review
This was your average Season 26 episode (i.e. not good), but it was kinda weird in how it operated.  There were several Family Guy-tier cutaway gags and the story with the Nigerian princess wasn't all that funny.  Most of the humor came from Moe and Mr. Burns, though the odd subplot with Smithers' hoping for the deal to fail so that Burns will retire with him was just out of place in the episode, kinda felt forced.

Some other notes: Jon Lovitz cameo'd as the paparazzo, and Richard Branson guest starred as Burns' annoying neighbor.  I don't know who Richard Branson was before this episode, and I have already forgotten who he is already.  The episode also paid a quick tribute to the late Leonard Nimoy, who guest-starred in two episodes.

Final Score: 6.6

The Musk Who Fell to Earth (S26, E12-564)

Ironically, the Miami Dolphin's helmet logo no longer wears a helmet.  Good research, writers!

Plot Summary
After some inconsequential shenanigans with an eagle, the Simpsons are visited by a small spaceship (which incinerates the eagle).  Coming out of the ship is Elon Musk, whom Lisa immediately identifies as a well-renowned inventor and entrepreneur.  Elon is apparently in a slump and is traveling around the world in his spaceship looking for ideas.  Soon, he finds inspiration in Homer's random thoughts.  Homer takes Elon to the nuclear plant, and gives suggestions to Mr. Burns.  Burns strikes a deal with Musk to forcefully pump more electricity into Springfield, thus potentially increasing Burns' profits while Musk demands no monetary compensation.  Smithers is highly suspicious of Musk, but Burns pays no mind to him and carries on.  Meanwhile, Homer and Elon become good, good friends.

Soon, Springfield becomes somewhat of a "city of tomorrow" type place with self-driving cars everywhere and such.  Soon, Burns is ready to have Elon announce the plant's quarterly report, only to be stunned to learn that the plant lost $50 million.  Turns out, Elon is just your average "ideas guy" who just wants to "save the planet", caring not one iota about finances or money.  Having lost so much money, Burns is forced to layoff most of the nuclear plant, including Homer.

Springfield falls into a deep depression as a result, and Homer realizes it may be time for Musk to move on, getting advice on breaking up from the person who knows best: Marge.  Making it more awkward is Elon saving Homer's life during a botched assassination attempted by aged snipers hired by a vengeful Burns.  Even so, Homer tells Elon he doesn't want to be with him anymore, and Elon is prompted to leave town, realizing that the world just isn't ready for his ideas yet, but he has a hard time forgetting his short time being with Homer, and his last final idea: the dolphin in the Miami Dolphins' helmet logo is also wearing a helmet.

Quick Review
Al Jean stated that he didn't want this episode to be a "kiss-ass" episode to Musk, kinda like what happened with Lisa Goes Gaga, and wanted to poke fun at Musk's ego and whatnot, but you'd have a hard time convincing me that was the case.

Much, much of this episode was spent portraying Musk as your perfect image of a visionary whose only fault is being unable to deal with money, and even then he goes a mini-tangent about wanting to rid the world of financial systems, with a straight face of course.  From the moment he landed in the Simpsons' backyard in his own personal spaceship to the very last minute of the episode, the entire time was basically the Elon Musk propaganda half-hour and while I can't really deny some of the work he's done (though PayPal is not that great, come on), that's no reason for the episode to just gush over him like they did.

The episode lacked in jokes and humor, and most of the humor that there was did not come from or was related to anything regarding Musk.  Musk's lines were oddly delivered throughout and any "humor" derived from him wasn't that good.  You'll see the score below, and it probably should be lower to be honest, but this is not a good episode in any capacity.

Final Score: 6.1

Opposites A-Frack (S26, E05-557)

This scene implies their emotions while they were having sex.  Thanks, I guess.

Plot Summary
Marge's sisters come to stay at the house as they returned from vacation early and their apartment is still being cleaned of black moss.  Homer is not ready to deal with this, but quickly realizes an out: he sees his kids coughing as his sisters-in-law smoke near them and makes the valid assertion that the two must either stop smoking in the house or be kicked out for the sake of the children.  The two agree, and Homer - knowing the two will break at some point - installs smoke alarms everywhere to stop the two from smoking in secret.  What's worse, its raining outside and electronic cigarettes just don't cut it for them.  The two find apparent salvation, however, when they see the bathroom has no smoke alarms.  The two rush in and lock the door and make every effort to avoid being caught, including turning on the faucet to muffle noise.  However, when they ignite their lighter, the bathroom explodes, and the two are caught.  As Homer sends the two to where smokers like them belong - the dog racing track - Marge and Lisa notice that the water is literally on fire.

Lisa quickly investigates that this is likely the result of "fracking", a controversial method of mining for natural gas that has the adverse side effect of polluting water supplies with the gas.  Bart and Lisa locate a suspicious building nearby that's masquerading as a women's basketball hall of fame that's actually a fracking operation run by Mr. Burns.  As he quickly shoos the two away, Lisa decides to call upon one of her liberal heroes in congress that she hopes will put the fracking operation to an end: Maxine Lombard, a democratic assemblywoman (voiced by Jane Fonda).  Quickly, Maxine stages a hearing against Burns for the fracking operation and orders it shut down.  Angered, Burns confronts Maxine in her office, when suddenly their passions overlap and the two just have sex right there in the office.

The two realize they enjoy each other's, hm, "company", but business is business and Burns needs to get the fracking operation back up.  He learns that he can do so if he can have the mineral rights of the land signed over to him by every resident in the area, and calls upon the likable Homer to convince everyone to do so.  Burns also asks Homer for relationship advice, and Homer notes that if she's getting in the way of his business priorities then perhaps he should harden his heart and move on.  Meanwhile, nobody is particularly willing to sign it over, until Homer points out that Mr. Burns will give each person $5000 to do it, at which point everyone signs over their rights... except for Marge who remains against the operation because she literally saw her water on fire.  With her support unobtainable, the measure is lost and Burns' operation can not continue.  Maxine comes to gloat while presenting him another opportunity to "fool around", but an angry, hardened Burns casts her aside and declares their "relationship" over.

Homer is similarly upset with Marge over ruining his newfound career as a propagandist (even though the water was actually on fire), and goes to hang out with Burns to talk about their relatively similar romantic situations.  Just then, Burns' mansions starts to get torn down as part of a revenge-related redevelopment project that plans to turn the mansion into several pro-liberal projects at once.  Further angered, Burns takes Homer back to the fracking base and immediately resumes the operation, much more severely than before.  Marge convinces Homer to stop following Burns by once again reminding him their water was literally on fire, and Homer uses this to his advantage by igniting hose water to melt and destroy the fracking apparatus.  His operation ruined, Burns is aghast that Homer has made up with Marge despite there being nothing in common between them.  Maxine - who is probably a bit forgiving considering she won - convinces Burns that love continues on their sheer passion, which the two of them still have.  Some time later, the two are in bed talking about mundane things, their passion gone but they remain a couple.

Quick Review
This episode fared a lot better than what I was expecting.  Let's review: the writer had written three previous episodes, all of which I found to be awful episodes.  Season 26 has gotten off to a poor start as well, and worse yet this episode was rife with political commentary and jokes.  That all could've easily combined to make yet another disastrous episode.

Thankfully, that wasn't the case.  The opening act with Patty and Selma was excellent and put the episode on the right foot, and the political jokes weren't too bad, and Lisa was less annoying than she usually is in these kinds of episodes.  Overall, I can say this episode wasn't bad, somehow.

Final Score: 7.3

Specs and the City (S25, E11-541)

Behold!  The sex of tomorrow... today!

Plot Summary
In December, Mr. Burns somehow becomes 'nice' to his employees by giving them a decent Christmas gift: glasses that look and operate somewhat like Google Glass because that's the hip new thing the writers probably liked 10 months ago when writing this episode, but aren't called that here because of copyrights I guess, so I'm just gonna call them Googles.

Anyway, Burns predictably has a sinister plot behind this: all of the Googles have been rigged with surveillance cameras so that Burns can keep an eye on everyone at all times.  Still, the employees all love the Googles, Homer especially.  Bringing his Google antics home, Homer begins to annoy Marge with his overuse of the Googles, even interfering with their snuggle time.  That's the last straw for Marge, and Homer regrets what he's done.  To make up for it, he gives up his Googles to anybody in the family who would have them.  Surprisingly, Marge is the one who claims them, stating that for once, she gets to keep the neat fun thing.

Soon, though, Homer regrets giving up his Googles, and goes to Mr. Burns office to plead for another pair.  Burns isn't around, though, and Homer notices the surveillance system his boss set up.  Homer is intrigued with all of his co-workers activities, but takes notice with the monitor for him - as its the camera currently focused on his former Googles that Marge is now wearing.

After a couple of 'false alarms' for cheating, and Homer successfully warding off an incompetent Burns, Homer watches Marge go to a clinic for therapy.  Stunned, Homer goes to Moe's for advice, and the barkeep tells Homer to confront Marge, but do so in an 'accidental' manner to avoid her wrath, doing so by setting up an appointment to the same therapist right after Marge.  Homer believes this to be a good idea, and does just that.  However, at the office, Homer sees Marge (she doesn't see him), and is ready to make a move, but realizes that Marge actually, really, needs the therapy as she's a wreck just before but a ball of joyous happiness after.  Thus, Homer leaves her be, and goes home to reap the benefits of a post-therapy Marge.

While this is all happening, Bart is being forced by his school to give Valentine's Day cards to everyone in class, citing the pampered state of today's kids and such.  However, Bart refuses to give a card to Nelson, given that Nelson's a bully and all.  Slighted, Nelson forces Bart to give him a card anyway, or face his wrath.  Frustrated, Bart eventually gives Nelson a "I fear you" card, stating his true feelings towards Nelson, which the young man takes to heart.

Quick Review
Well, after the last episode and given the previews for this one, this turned out better than what I expected.  Its not a great episode by any means, with not too many good jokes and the side plot was too short to be of any worth, but this wasn't a bad episode, either.

Final Score: 7.0

The Kid is All Right (S25, E06-536)

I still remember when Bill Clinton was cool.  ...no I don't, I'm lying.

Plot Summary
After forgoing the opening sequence for a lengthy homage/reference to the Disney short Music Land, the episode begins with Lisa being, once again, depressed because she is, once again, alone.  However, once again, Lisa finds a glimmering ray of hope when she befriends, once again, the new kid in school, fellow 2nd grader Isabel Gutierrez who shares Lisa's love of literature.  The two team up to do a school report on Franklin Roosevelt when Lisa notices Isabel's portion is a rather conservative take on the otherwise well-liked President.  Lisa learns that Isabel is a rather hardcore Republican, shocking even more so to her given Isabel's Latin heritage.

Lisa talks it over with Marge who tells Lisa that Isabel is likely just going through a phase, like Marge did back in the 80s.  Back at school, Lisa learns Isabel's mother told her daughter that Lisa is going through a 'liberal phase'.  Despite their political divide, Lisa and Isabel decide to forgo all that and remain friends.  That is, until the upcoming class president elections.  As Lisa decides to run for the position she learns she'll be going up against - yep - Isabel.  This garners the attention of the Republican party (Mr. Burns, mostly), who desperately need a Hispanic voice like Isabel in their stead, but Isabel refuses their outright help, so the Republicans decide to help Isabel out "behind the scenes", mainly filling the school with pro-Isabel propaganda to hurt Lisa's campaign.

Desperate Lisa, once again, turns to Bart for help.  Bart gets Lisa's campaign back on track, but as Bart shows Lisa a captured video of Isabel falling off a training wheeled bike, Lisa (once again) backs off the 'dark path' and decides to simply run against Isabel fair and square.  In a debate, Lisa tries to tell the audience about the simplicity of being a liberal, and that those ideals were in place during America's best times.  Lisa has a dream a short time later where she's visited by the ghosts of other democrats who lost big in elections, indicating Lisa is gonna be next in line despite her big speech.

In the final debate, though, Isabel decides to, again, eschew politics and decrees that even if Lisa wins, it'd be no big loss for her because Lisa's her friend and that the race for class president shouldn't be politically charged anyway.  Lisa shares the sentiment, but Isabel ends up winning anyway.  Later, Milhouse reveals that an exit poll shows that 53% of the class would vote for a liberal candidate, just not Lisa.  Lisa is content with that.  In 2056, Lisa and Isabel are, once again, against one another, this time for what I assume is President of the United States, and an elderly Homer is proudly watching alongside his Music Land parody self.

Quick Review
I have really mixed feelings about this episode.  There were some really good jokes and bits in the episode that I felt worked really well, and that if those bits were the only elements within, the episode could've gotten the highest score I would've given in several seasons.

However, there's just so much that goes wrong, too.  The opening sequence was tough to sit through, for starters.  And then, of course, the episode is heavy with the political themes, thankfully it wasn't anything too bad, though moments when Lisa and/or Isabel would clamor on about the greatness of their specific ideology I couldn't help but cringe.  With no side plot to possibly help out, I'm left with an episode that, while having some good moments, is just too far dragged down by its political elements to be worth giving a good score to.

Final Score: 6.3

Four Regrettings and a Funeral (S25, E03-533)

Somehow, I doubt it.

Plot Summary
At the funeral of a well-loved yet never-seen person, Reverend Lovejoy admits that even this beloved person had regrets.  This leaves several people in the congregation thinking about their regrets: Marge begins to worry if listening to Kiss albums during her first pregnancy led to Bart's current behavior (and Joe Namath regrets sitting behind Bart during his latest prank); Kent Brockman regrets sticking around to do local news rather than go national; Homer really regrets selling his Apple stock back in 2001 to buy a bowling ball; and Mr. Burns (rich in part of buying Homer's Apple stock) regrets letting a woman he loved get away.

As Marge continues to blame herself for Bart's demeanor, Burns tells Smithers about the story of him and Lyla, the previously mentioned woman who would've married Burns had he agreed to be nice to others for five minutes a day.  Burns refused, of course, so Lyla broke up with him promising to marry a man as nice as Burns is evil.  Nearby, Kent Brockman is met by Rachel Maddow, who was once Kent's co-anchor some decades ago.  Both had become sick of the inane nature of local news, Rachel especially so.  She decided to leave town to join a cable news network, but Kent stayed behind.  In the present day, Burns learns from a private eye that Lyla is still alive, but has since become a devout Buddhist and decides to pursue her.  Meanwhile, Kent goes to New York to join a big time news network, choosing Fox News because its the only one that's, sadly, doing well.  After seeing just a taste of Fox News' practices, though, Kent decides otherwise and goes back to Springfield.

Homer decides to return his bowling ball, but learns the bowling ball store is soon to become another Apple store.  Meanwhile, Bart rigs a laundry basket with dozens of balloons and begins to float into the air, unable to get down and starts drifting across town.  Burns, meanwhile, has reunited with Lyla who is more than willing to forgo her oaths for a one night stand.  Burns, though, takes a long time to "prepare himself" in the bathroom and upon return to Lyla, Burns finds out that Lyla passed away while waiting, causing the old man to have further regrets but Smithers recommends Burns honor Lyla by doing the one thing she had asked him to do: be nice to others for five+ minutes.

Kent Brockman returns just in time to see Bart floating around, and quickly sets up a news report about it.  Marge finally catches wind and finds Bart near town hall with the police readying incompetent, inaccurate snipers to try and take the balloons out.  Marge continues to lament what she did during pregnancy, but Chief Wiggum tells Marge that wouldn't of made a difference as his wife listened to Mozart and Churchill speeches during her pregnancy and they ended up with Ralph anyway.  Just then, Professor Frink arrives with a solution to the dilemma - fire a cannonball at just the correct angle and distance for it to land in the basket, giving it enough weight to descend.  However, the town no longer possesses any cannonballs, but Homer arrives with just the thing: his bowling ball.  The plan does end up working, as the ball lands safely in the basket and the basket lands on the ground.  Marge notes that regrets don't matter, as long as you're with your family every choice you've made is the right one.  Meanwhile, after Bart's story goes national, Kent relishes in the attention, but no longer regrets staying in local news.

Quick Review
This episode, which began with a tribute to Marcia Wallace and then a painfully long Hobbit reference of a couch gag, was not good.  While the bulk of the episode remained pointless reference-free for the most part, the episode made the mistake of prioritizing storytelling over comedy.  Fitting in what was four different subplots over a broad "regrets" theme left little room for any good jokes or memorable moments to really exist.  What's left is an episode that spends time really praising Apple (at least its not "Mapple"), takes a couple of quick shots at news media and spends a few minutes on a lost-love story that had very little going for it.  The episode was just too much of a mess to be any decent.  Kind of a crummy episode to dedicate to Wallace's memory, but what can you do?

Final Score: 5.7

Dark Knight Court (S24, E16-524)

Fruitbatman wouldn't use a gun!  ...unless it was golden age Fruitbatman
...or an alternate universe version of him.  Man, comics can be stupid.

Plot Summary
Its an Easter celebration that suddenly faces ruin when a band's musical instruments shoot out a barrage of eggs, ruining many clothes and such.  The town catches Bart laughing his ass off over the prank, and all naturally assume he's behind it.  A mob of people chase after Bart.  Mr. Burns is in its path and he and Smithers hide within the nearest building: the comic book shop.  After looking at a couple of comics, Burns reminisces over his youthful days when he would read comics until his father forbade him by buying out then burning the publisher.  Feeling nostalgic, I suppose, Burns decides to buy comic book guy's entire stock of comics.

Meanwhile, Bart successfully convinces the family he didn't do the egg prank after Maggie believes Bart is innocent.  Still, the school band that was used in the prank arrives to punish Bart in some way, when Lisa intervenes and declares a "youth court" be held to determine Bart's guilt.  As it is a legal obligation, the band is forced to leave things up to the court, and Lisa decides to defend Bart in court.  However, they need an impartial judge (i.e., someone who doesn't hate Bart), and Grampa knows just the person: Janet Reno, whom Grampa had met some fifteen years prior.  Bart and Lisa doubt this claim, and are both stunned when Reno arrives to preside as the judge for the trial.  Lisa defends Bart well through some revealing testimony, particularly when Lunchlady Doris reveals that the only way Bart could've even reached the eggs was to grab her personal key to the storeroom where the large quantity of eggs were being held.  Lisa thinks the case is won, but makes a critical slip up when she refers to Bart as a "sweet, lovable" boy.  Reno reasons that from that wording, the court would then need to hear from people who don't view Bart in such a manner, and Bart and Lisa see the trial slip away from their grasp.

Meanwhile, Burns has trouble coming across a comic book he likes, until he comes across what is basically a Batman comic book.  Inspired, Burns decides he, too, can go out into the streets to fight crime, becoming "Fruitbatman".  Smithers plays along with the old man's delusions, but things get serious when Burns actually spots a crime: Snake robbing Apu yet again.  As Burns slowly makes his way over to the crime, a worried Smithers gets their first, and offers both men $1000 to play along with Burns.  The two agree, and Burns believes himself to have stopped his first crime.  Soon, Smithers is forced to pay actors, nuclear plant workers, etc. money to act as supposed villains for Burns, who gladly takes everything at face value.

After several people testify against Bart's character, notably Moe who is now aware that it was Bart who delivered those prank calls, Lisa doesn't give up and notices Fruitbatman's exploits in a nearby newspaper.  She goes to Burns manor to talk to Burns, but the old man won't bother with her.  Angry, Smithers reveals everything to Burns, frustrated that the one time someone actually needs help, he turns her down, shaming the old man.  Later, Lisa sees Marge putting egged clothes in the washing machine, agreeing to clean up Bart's alleged mess.  However, Lisa sees an oddity: a skirt with a single egg stain on it, as though it was put there on purpose to pretend they, too, got it.  Marge corrects Lisa by telling her its a kilt, and the two quickly find their new main suspect: Groundskeeper Willie.  Willie admits to the crime, claiming religion or something for his motive and revealing that he made love to Doris to steal the key while she was sleeping so he can have it copied to steal the eggs.  However, Willie grabs his kilt back from Lisa and shreds it in a nearby wood chipper, and it seems like that's that.

Just then, Fruitbatman arrives to help Lisa out, going after Willie and, after a rather odd confrontation, is able to subdue Willie albeit just barely.  In court, with Bart's character completely demolished, Reno is about to convict Bart of the crime.  Just in time, Fruitbatman busts in to hand in Willie, and Bart is cleared of the crime.  This is distressing news to Moe, who now fears even a single phone call.

Quick Review
One half of the episode was a straight-up Batman parody and the other half had Janet Reno as a guest star (though most of it was voiced by Reno's sister because of Janet's health).  It was a recipe for disaster, yet the episode turns out to be one of the best of the season.  Why was this?  I liked Smithers' involvement in the episode, and while the lines delivered by either Reno weren't all that great, the plot with Bart and Lisa still had plenty of good moments, like the entire family bursting into laughter when Lisa implied a Simpson never gives up.  The episode still has your now-standard slip ups, like the weird Avengers parody that led to the credits, but overall it doesn't hurt the episode that badly.

Final Score: 7.7

Gorgeous Grampa (S24, E14-522)

Wrestling fans (probably) know its scripted, but they still enjoy... enjoy this.

Plot Summary
Homer becomes addicted to a reality show called Storage Battles whose primary focus is people opening up abandoned storage lockers to find value in junk.  Homer wants in on this possibly productive venture, and goes to a nearby storage facility where abandoned lockers are being auctioned off.  Homer is able to acquire one for $1000, but is somewhat disheartened when the locker he bought contains nothing really valuable.  In fact, the attire within is rather flamboyant, as though it were meant for men in drag.  Even more shocking, its learned that everything inside the locker belongs to Grampa, leaving Marge to believe that Grampa is actually gay.

Marge tries to get Grampa to admit it by not actually mentioning it, but Grampa kicks them out after hearing they opened up his storage locker.  Not wanting Grampa to die with his feelings supposedly bottled up, she helps set up a "male looking for male" "casual encounter" for Grampa at his usual duck feedin' spot.  Perhaps unsurprisingly, Smithers shows up looking for just that, leaving Grampa somewhat confused.  Marge and Homer, hiding in the bushes nearby, confront Grampa again when Grampa adamantly tells Marge he's not gay, even with Homer holding the wig he got from the closet - which he puts on Grampa for some reason.

Just then, Mr. Burns arrives, which causes Smithers to flee rather unceremoniously.  Burns recognizes Grampa in the wig as "Glamorous Godfrey", a wrestler from the 50s, taking Grampa and the rest of the Simpsons to a shrine Burns had built for the wrestler.  Grampa does reveal he was Godfrey, who was played up as a "heel", a villain who made people boo him relentlessly with his narcissism and cheating.  However, that hatred seeped in his everyday life as well and he couldn't take it anymore and retired, leaving his wrestling stuff in the locker.  Burns doesn't understand this of course, and through the power of song convinces Grampa to embrace the role of the villain and come back to wrestle.  Grampa agrees to do so, with Bart - who has taken a liking to these revelations - on his side.

Grampa returns as Glamorous Godfrey in a nostalgic wrestling show run by Burns, pulling off the routine as wonderfully as ever.  Bart likes it so much he emulates the routine... in a game of baseball, angering everyone including his parents.  Homer tries to confront Burns and Grampa over how they've influence Bart and the two decides to simply bring him in as a sidekick.

Grampa is enjoying the time he's spending with Bart, but Marge shares her worries with Grampa that Bart's taking his 'bad boy' act too far, that he's not just saving it for the ring, but is also using it in real life as well.  After seeing Bart shoot snot into a fan's autograph book, Grampa realizes Marge is right and decides to do something about it.  In the duo's next appearance, Grampa ditches his Godfrey attire and puts on a fake beard and hat, calling himself "Honest Abe", a good-guy wrestler.  He also redresses Bart into patriotic attire, calling him "Laddy Liberty".  Grampa admits his error, then upon realizing the show still needs a good guy beating up a bad guy, he and Bart team up to subdue Burns.

Quick Review
This episode's couch gag was basically the family - and eventually the rest of the town - doing a Harlem Shake, oh I'm sorry, I meant a "Homer Shake".  The rather short fad was done by the show just about when the fad had been overkilled.  I bet, and I write this truthfully, the writers were laughing their asses off getting this couch gag ready.  "OH MAN look at Maggie starting up the Harlem Shake!  HIGH-larious!  This will never NOT be funny!"  Truth be told, I'm one of the lucky few to have successfully avoided watching any Harlem Shake before, during or after its popularity.  Hell, I didn't even know what the song being used was by the fad the internet had destroyed.  The episode uses a modified version of the song sung by Homer, so technically I'm still in the clear.  Of course, part of my soul still died from watching the show sink that low, but hey, little victories, right?

So, yeah, that whole thing sunk the episode before it started, not that the episode was particularly funny anyway.  Grampa's bits as Godfrey were decent, but otherwise the episode didn't have much to offer for comedy.

Final Score: 6.0

To Cur with Love (S24, E08-516)

Bongo, doing his best trick: bailing Homer out of crap.

Plot Summary
An accident leaves the Springfield Retirement home in ruins, and Grampa is forced to live with his son again, much to the Simpsons' chagrin.  Homer "breaks his back" just as they leave to help Grampa pack, and gets to stay home, alone, for some time.  Homer passes the time by getting addicted to a game, ignoring the dog's pleas for a walk.  Later, Marge and the family returns with Grampa and his stuff, and Bart learns in horror that the dog has gone missing.

As the family starts their search, Bart and Lisa realize Homer is relatively unfazed by the dog's disappearance.  When they find the dog inside a pantry shelf near the sink, everyone is happy the dog is alright, except for the lethargic Homer.  Homer admits he's never been much of a dog person, but Grampa reminds Homer of a "Bongo", bringing back memories Homer didn't want to recall.  As Homer runs off in tears, Grampa decides to tell the rest of the family about Bongo.

Bongo was Abe and Mona's dog when Homer was born, but Homer became really attached to Bongo as he grew older, especially after Mona left.  The two would do everything together and Homer considered Bongo his best friend.  However, things begin to turn sour when, during a nuclear plant kids fundraiser, Burns runs afoul of young Homer and Bongo, with the latter biting Burns in the hand.  Abe quickly helps the two flee as Burns demands the dog meet its death.  With no other options, Abe takes Homer and Bongo to a "crazy" woman who owns a ranch a bit out of town, and Abe has no choice but to tell Homer he's leaving Bongo with her, letting Homer leave his Itchy & Scratchy sweater with Bongo as a memento.  Homer, though, becomes immensely upset with Abe for doing it, and his relationship with his father becomes irreparably damaged.  Meanwhile, Abe is confronted by Burns again and, with no dog for Burns to slay, Abe agrees to do demeaning work for Burns, who basically turns Abe into the crazy old man he is today.

As the family sheds tears over the story, Homer returns to tell his version of the story, which doesn't work out right, but Homer does decide to tell a part of the story Grampa doesn't know about: a few months later Homer snuck over to the ranch to retrieve Bongo, however before he revealed himself, he sees Bongo having fun with his new owner.  Homer realizes that Bongo was happy without him, and from then on believes dogs to be unfaithful, traitorous mutts.  Grampa, though, shows Homer a Christmas photo of an older Bongo, years later, still favoring Homer's then-tattered sweater.  Homer realizes that Bongo still loved Homer, and that Homer had essentially resented dogs, also his father, for no good reason.  Homer makes up with Grampa, and at some point the dog as well as that night the two elder Simpson men are asleep with the dog on the couch, where Homer is dreaming he and Santa's Little Helper are enjoying time at a park populated by his younger self and Bongo, among others.

As the episode ran short again (likely because there was no opening), a minute is taken by Mr. Burns to explain the fiscal cliff and how he, like all other rich people, are devastated after the results of the 2012 election.  He tries to offer new ideas on immigration, but boy that doesn't work out for him at all.

Quick Review
Man, this episode got to me.  Its actually kinda similar to the Futurama episode Jurassic Bark.  Okay, not really, but a key theme is shared between this episode and that one: a dog who continues to love his former human friend even as it got older without him around.  Jurassic Bark was emotionally powerful for that reason, and so was this episode.  Unlike Jurassic Bark, which was pretty funny, this episode, well, it has its moments to be sure, but its nothing spectacular, and the bit with the fiscal cliff at the end kinda ruins the emotional ending the episode had going for it (which might be why it wasn't part of later re-airings).  Still, its nice to see an episode such as this as even if the show continues to struggles bringing on the laughs, it can still at least jerk a few tears.

Final Score: 7.5

The Spy Who Learned Me (S23, E20-506)

For a figment of Homer's concussion, this guy can sure be creepy.

Plot Summary
Homer ruins another night out with Marge by blurting out puns during a Stradivarius Cain spy movie.  Marge remains mad at Homer the next day, and Homer tries to call Marge while at work to apologize.  Mr. Burns can't control his personal cart, and drives right into the ladder Homer is standing on, causing him to fall and hit his head.  As Homer comes to, he learns he suffered a concussion, and with recent concussion awareness, Mr. Burns is forced to give Homer eight weeks worth of paid vacation to recover.  He goes home to tell everybody, but everybody is cranky for one reason or another, so Homer decides to keep the news to himself.

Bart is cranky because Nelson's been going on a lunch money crusade as of late.  Some time later, though, Bart sees a documentary where Declan Desmond eats nothing but Krusty Burger for a full month, eventually turning into a fat sack of lard.  Bart realizes that can happen to Nelson as well, and the next day instead of giving Nelson lunch money, Bart gives Nelson actual lunch: tons of Krusty Burger food, and a book full of Krusty Burger coupons to blow.  Soon enough, Nelson becomes fat and feeble.  Lisa catches on to Bart's scheme and decides to help Nelson.  She confronts Krusty over Nelson's problem, and Krusty eventually relents and lets his personal trainer get Nelson back in shape.

Homer goes to the bar on his first day off, somewhat upset that he can't tell his angry wife about his vacation time.  Just then, Stradivarius Cain appears next to Homer.  Revealing himself to be a figment of Homer's imagination induced by his concussion, Cain promises to help Homer improve his marriage anyway.  After some time, Cain sends Homer out into 'the field' to test his new courting skill.  After Cain basically tells Homer what to say, Homer is able to woo an attractive woman... with a murderous drug lord as her husband.  Homer is able to subdue the man with lime juice and he and Cain make their escape.

Marge tries to visit Homer at work, apparently no longer upset at him, but Lenny tells her Homer hasn't been around because of his paid time off.  Marge angrily goes home, ready to confront Homer.  When she does so, Cain skillfully gets Homer to calm Marge down by basically telling the truth: that he did get time off but he's been using it to become a better husband.  Homer takes Marge to some kind of ball or dance and the two are having a lot of fun... but the drug lord is there as well and Homer is forced to flee from him and his still madly-in-love wife.

With Marge basically having no idea what's going on, Homer hits himself with a rock to induce Cain back.  It work's eventually, and Cain advices Homer to use everything he's learned from Cain thus far.  So, Homer gives the same speech he gave the drug lord's wife... to the drug lord himself, and he backs off, gaining some respect for Homer.  Homer and Marge continue their romantic night, and Cain promises to be back in a another lame plot.  The episode ends with nerds across school getting pounded by the all new, all muscle Nelson, whom Lisa admits is easy on the eyes now.

Quick Review
Another subpar episode, but it has a few moments.  Homer's interactions with concussion induced Cain were pretty decent overall, and the Nelson sideplot started off okay before tapering at the end.  The whole thing with the drug lord was mostly boring, holding the episode back.  In all, its about as decent as you can expect from this season.

Final Score: 6.6

Them, Robot (S23, E17-503)

Oh, the humanity-er, robotiny, er, humanity but with robots, uh, hm, yeah.

Plot Summary
A plant physical is coming up, and Mr. Burns promises to fire any employee found with any drugs in their blood - including alcohol.  Homer tries to get through the weekend without drinking, but accidentally ingests some alcohol without realizing.  The following morning, Homer is fearful for his job, but Burns grows tired of even paying for the drug tests, especially when some employees contract gamma radiation.  Smithers tells Burns that today's technical advances allows him to replace his workers with cheap robot workers.  Burns happily obliges, and soon forces everyone at the plant to train the new robot workers before firing them.  Smithers, however, does tell Burns that he should keep one human worker around as a scapegoat, or to do tasks too low even for robots.  With Homer coming in to kinda tell Burns off sort of, Burns decides to let Homer be that one person that stays, even firing Smithers because one of the robots can do his duties even better..

With the massive layoffs, Springfield's economy hits the tank, and other businesses start to suffer.  Homer, meanwhile, tries to make friends with the robots, but they are unwilling to even acknowledge him except to get him off their backs.  Later, Homer accidentally breaks one of the robots, and pulls out a manual to try and fix it.  He learns in the manual that the robots do have a conversational feature, and after several explosions, finally learns out to bypass the security self-destruct to finally get the robots to talk.  Although the Brent Spiner-sounding robots only provide logical replies to Homer's rambling, Homer decides to trick the robots into playing a game of baseball with him.  Homer accidentally stumbles onto the road - and live traffic - forcing the robots to comply with their prime directive: to preserve human life.  Several get destroyed in the process, and Homer gives them a sendoff in his backyard.  However, now one of the robots tries to get Homer to stop drinking beer, and Homer decides to do something drastic to get them to stop nagging him about it: drilling holes in their heads to give each of them a "robotomy".  Predictably, this backfires, as all it does is replace the robots' prime directive with a new one: eliminate all impediments to the nuclear plant i.e. Homer.

As Homer flees from the now murderous robots, he runs to Mr. Burns house, but he can't do anything about the robots either.  The two flee to Burns' greenhouse, but the robots surround them in there.  Suddenly, the two are saved by all of Burns' former workers, who have banded together in either unemployment or underemployment and they work together to destroy the remaining robots.  Burns learns his lesson and rehires everyone as temps.  Later, Homer has reactivated one of the robots to go fishing with him, but the robot can't deal with Homer any longer and self destructs.

Quick Review
Can you believe its been over 10 years since Brent Spiner last portrayed Data in a live-action role?  Him providing the voice of the robots really was a joy to hear, and though the robots' interactions with Homer had its moments, there were also several lowpoints through the episode to prevent it from really being good.

Final Score: 7.0

The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants (S23, E07-493)

Here's an entry for the 'extreme awkwardness' award.

Plot Summary
Krusty is forced to improve the brand awareness of his own crappy vodka, so he is tasked with setting up a party where that vodka is the main drink served.  He's also tasked with finding someone not just willing to host the party, but also hip.  Somehow in someway, Homer meets this criteria, so Krusty's party is held at the Simpson home.  Mr. Burns is accidentally invited to the party by Homer, and as expected he becomes a pretty big buzzkill.  Homer springs into action to save the party by having Burns do something more his speed: do some karaoke of a song old enough for him to be familiar with.  With the party back in full swing, Burns takes notice of how Homer handled the situation.  The next day, Burns decides to promote Homer to the plant's Account Manager position, with the previous one on his way to retirement.

The retiring guy, Robert Marlowe, shows Homer how to handle the position, which involves a lot of salesmanship and drinking bourbon during downtime.  With Marlowe's help, Homer is able to convince the mayor to allow the plant to increase their rates, and Marlowe bids Homer adieu.  Soon, though, Homer becomes worn out from his new job, with long nights and plenty of travel he becomes so disillusioned he turns into yet another television reference.  He doesn't even have time to read Lisa a bedtime story, forcing the half-illiterate Bart to do so in a side story so short its not worth explaining.

Marge becomes concerned with Homer's behavior and talks directly with Marlowe, who does reveal that the life of the account manager is one where hardly any time is left for the family.  Marge decides to reverse this and tries to convince Homer to take a vacation with the family to a rafting trip, showing him a brochure for it.  Homer sees Mr. Burns outside his office and quickly shoos Marge out, as Burns tells Homer he's got a big account for him to close, but needs an exciting locale to seal the deal.  Seeing the rapids trip, Burns suggests they do that to accomplish the sale, and Homer figures in his mind that he'll be able to do both the family vacation and the account at the same time, and agrees.

Of course, that doesn't work out so well as both Burns' raft and his family's raft are both out at the same time, separated only by a strip of forested land, and Homer has to quickly switch between the two often.  Quickly, Homer's scheme is found out by Marge and Homer is caught in the middle of both rafts as they both miss their docking points, now floating towards a waterfall.  Forced to choose between his work and his family, Homer ultimately decides on the latter and moves his family's raft to safety.  Marlowe appears from out of nowhere to save Burns - though not his clients - and he happily takes his old job back, allowing Homer to go back to his job as "safety inspector".

Quick Review
Well, its better than the past couple of episodes, but that's not saying much.  Again, the show attempts to reference, this time a cable TV show, and does so with enough accuracy that there wasn't any comedy to make it worth the effort.  The tiny piece of episode that was the side story wasn't funny either, and while the episode does pop up decent jokes from time to time, its still yet another weak effort to what has been a very weak season.

Final Score: 6.3