I Don't Wanna Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (S19, E04-404)

Remember, all those people in the background have chosen to ignore this scene.

Plot Summary
Lisa is going to be given the award for "Student of the Millennium" for some reason tomorrow, and Marge is going out of her way to make sure Homer attends the ceremony, even doing so less drunk the usual.  With Marge's urging, Homer is actually able to make it to the ceremony nearly two hours early.  Meanwhile, Marge makes a stop at the bank where, while she's there, a pair of men attempt an armed robbery.  Although Homer initially gloats over being at Lisa's thing while Marge isn't, he quickly worries when he finds out the truth.  One of the armed robbers freaks out and escapes, leaving just one guy left to leave everyone there hostage: a buggy-eyed creep named Dwight.  Marge is able to reason with Dwight, but he'll only promise to turn himself in if Marge visits him in prison.  Marge reluctantly accepts, and the situation is averted, though as Dwight is arrested he reminds Marge rather crazily to visit him.

Marge starts freaking out, though, and despite her promise to visit Dwight, she comes up with excuses and reasons to not visit him instead.  In prison, Dwight looks on with jealously as Snake gets visited by his girlfriend, Gloria (complete with Julia Louis-Dreyfus as her VA).  As Dwight realizes Marge isn't going to visit him, he gets pretty angry, and decides to break out.  News of this reaches Marge, and the police aren't in any rush to capture Dwight upon learning he'll turn himself in after finishing one piece of business.

Dwight eventually catches Marge in her car and forces her to drive to an amusement park.  As it turns out, Dwight was abandoned by his mother at this park when he was younger, so he wants Marge to recreate that day with the major difference being that Marge not leave him - not that she can as Dwight has her by gunpoint.  Chief Wiggum is coincidentally at the same park trying to have fun, but is forced to take action upon learning of the situation.  Marge and Dwight go on the viking boats - the same ride Dwight was abandoned - but when Wiggum tries to act, he gets caught inbetween the boats.  Dwight gets urged by Marge to help, but falls into the mechanisms though it does save Wiggum.  Marge does visit a healed Dwight in prison afterwards, where the two becomes as much of friends as they can comfortably be.

Quick Review
This was a pretty decent episode.  The hostage situation at the bank was the best the episode had to offer, particularly the scene with the dye packs, but the rest of the episode has its moments as well.  The odd dialogue between Krusty and Dr. Hibbert near the end dragged the episode a bit, but otherwise the episode wasn't that bad at all.

Final Score: 7.1

A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love (S13, E04-273)

Its also plausible for a woman to not care about a guy bringing along another guy for every date.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons eat at a Chinese restaurant, where Homer is displeased over how lame and generic the fortune cookie fortunes are.  He's able to come up with much better material on the spot, and so he's hired by the restaurant to come up with fortunes.

A short time later, Mr. Burns orders some Chinese to go, apparently from the same restaurant.  He reads his fortune: "You will find love on Flag Day."  With it currently being Flag Day, Burns quickly drags Smithers along to quickly find a woman to fall in love with.  However, all the socialites his age are taken up by either Rich Uncle Pennybags or Scrooge McDuck, and the strip clubs are a little too wild for him as well.  On the way back to his car, park across the street because why not, he falls in love with the policewoman who is writing up his ticket.  With Flag Day seconds away from ending, he's able to convince the woman, Gloria, to go out with him, though she might've agreed out of pity.

After a day at a carnival where nothing went wrong, Burns attempts to ask Gloria out on a second date, but Gloria is about to decline and go on with her life.  Desperate, Burns gets Homer, who was coincidentally nearby, and has Homer help him convince Gloria that Burns is worthwhile, somehow succeeding.  They go to a disco for a second date, with Homer coming along to help out.  At the date's conclusion, Burns is able to convince Gloria to make love to him.  To make up for the fact that he's an old man, Burns had acquired an extremely potent and rare aphrodisiac that works, well, good enough for Gloria to fall in love with him, anyway.  Burns and Gloria go on several more dates with Homer tagging along to keep Burns looking hip and cool.

At a bowling alley, Burns decides to propose to Gloria, and she accepts.  As Burns goes off gleefully to get champagne, believing that nothing can ruin this day, Snake walks into the bowling alley looking to rob it.  He recognizes Gloria, who was his old girlfriend (the part where she's a police officer is apparently no longer a thing).  As Gloria rebukes Snake's attempts to get back with him, Snake just ups and grabs Gloria - as well as Homer who tried poorly to stop him.  Gloria drops her engagement ring, and when Burns returns to find only the ring and nobody else, he believes Homer and Gloria ditched Burns.

Snake has Homer drive the three of them to his hideout out in the countryside, where Snake ties the two up in chairs.  Cletus witnesses this, and reports it to the police who have been helping Burns with his search.  They arrive along with the Simpson family to the hideout.  Snake's attempts to win back Gloria by beating up Homer haven't been working, and as the two bicker, Homer attempts to free himself by burning his rope on a furnace.  This plan literally backfires, and Homer ends up burning up the entire house.  Homer and Snake run out in time, but Gloria is still trapped inside.  Burns musters up both courage and strength and is able to enter the house to free Gloria, though its Gloria that comes outside holding Burns.  The two are reunited, but as Gloria attempts to explain to Burns how over Snake she is, she falls in love with Snake anyway, and ends the engagement.  Burns is flabbergasted, and the Simpson family attempts to console him.

Quick Review
I'm probably thinking about the oddities of this episode a bit too much.  I mean, I guess its somewhat plausible for a police officer to be in love with a criminal, even if he's still committing crimes.  Its probably plausible for a man over the age of 100 to be good in bed thanks to a super rare aphrodisiac.  Its could even be plausible for a woman to spend a third of an episode being completely over a criminal but then swoon for him at the very end on what seems like a whim even though her old man fiancee just rescued her.

Still, all these possible plausibilities hurt my enjoyment of what wasn't going to be a great episode anyway.  The jokes weren't all the plentiful and, as I've said, the plot of the episode leaves a lot to be desired.  This is rare instance when an episode focused on Mr. Burns actually doesn't pan out so well.

Final Score: 6.6