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| Homer is joyous at what he sees. The others... are more stunned, really. |
Its the night before Christmas, and all through the house, nobody had any Christmas spirit, except Homer's spouse. Homer is just watching TV, Lisa has shifted her agenda to the plight of cut down trees, and Bart has a weapon ready for Santa Claus because he's failed to give Bart a dirt bike the last three years. Marge has enough and just goes to bed. Bart tries to wait for Santa in the living room, but dozes off.
Bart's Dream
When he comes to, the polar express arrives. Under Otto's care, the train is fueled by lots and lots of hemp. Bart eventually reaches the north pole where he's met by an elf supervisor (Moe), who tells Bart he's gotta work his way up the ranks to meet Santa, and sends Bart to the wrapping center. While Santa's workshops seem to be in the dumps, Bart comes up with several cost-cutting measures, and in no time he is promoted to Vice President. Another elf executive (Lisa) gets wise to Bart's plan, and tries to stop him, but Bart melts the snowmen guards, and meets Santa (Krusty). With his office run down as well, Santa explains to Bart that, since his business model only gives him cookies as a financial reward. Bart gives up on his quest for vengeance, and makes up with Santa. After Bart leaves, Santa reveals the ruse; he's actually very successful and rich, not that Bart will ever know.
Individual Score: +0.3
Lisa's Dream
Still angry about all the poor trees being cut down, Lisa goes to sleep, dreaming about an alternate version of her family in 1944, as the Allies have invaded France. Marge is part of the invasion force, with Homer working as a riveter because he's too fat to be an adequate soldier. He brings home a Christmas tree, but Lisa refuses to accept it, recalling a year ago when she and Marge tried to buy a Christmas tree only for Marge to be called into active duty immediately. Sure enough, this time around a message comes in which states that Marge has gone MIA. Lisa runs off in tears. She winds up at the tree shop where she last saw Marge last year, but the shopkeep reveals a tree Marge paid for last year but never picked up. The shopkeep had maintained the tree over the past year, and trims it to look kinda like Marge. Lisa takes it as a sign Marge is still alive, and joyfully brings it home. In France, Marge is on her own, but is able to infiltrate a Nazi-controlled theatre currently housing Hitler, and she's able to kill every Nazi inside to win the war. Lisa wakes up, wondering what the hell just happened.
Individual Score: +0.4
Marge's Dream
Marge is still upset over the lack of Christmas spirit, and writes a letter to someone pleading with them to help fix her Christmas. The letter flies out the window, but reaches its intended recipient: Martha Stewart! Martha immediately goes to Marge's house to help and quickly spruces everything up. At the same time, she also "fixes" Bart and Milhouse by wrapping them up into soldiers and forcing them to march. She also frowns upon Lisa's attempt at crafts and sends her out to half-assedly make a snow angel. Worse yet, Martha creates a wonderful Christmas scene - over Homer's sleeping body, giving him 'medicine' to ensure he stays asleep. By the end, Marge simply wants Martha to put everything back to normal, and Martha begrudgingly does. Marge wakes up at this point, and finds everyone walking into the bedroom wishing Marge a Merry Christmas. They plan on making breakfast in the bedroom, but after a mess Homer decides to just take everyone out, and Marge is more than happy that everyone else is happy.
Individual Score: +0.4
Maggie's Dream
Back to the night of Christmas Eve, Maggie goes to sleep holding her Muppe- er, "Fluppets" book. In her dream, everything's been reimagined as puppets. Puppet Moe comes in to house sit for the puppet Simpsons, who are going to Hawaii for the week. Puppet Moe calls a woman over, claiming the Simpson house to be his bachelor pad, and nobody around seems to mind. However, Puppet Homer is paid a visit by Puppet Mr. Burns, which worries Homer as he had told Burns he broke his neck and had to stay home for a week. Puppet Homer quickly tries to cover his ass, and Puppet Burns seems to buy it. However, the cover is blown when real life Katey Perry walks in, as she is the woman Puppet Moe was talking to on the phone. Puppet Homer can't keep a secret anymore, and tells Puppet Burns the truth. Puppet Burns tries to release the hounds, but the budget was spent on Perry, who decides to hug and kiss Puppet Burns to cool him off. Puppet Burns forgives Homer, and all the puppets sing the original 39 Days of Christmas song. Puppet Grampa and Puppet Jasper, playing the roles of Statler and Waldorf, pretty much call this act the thing that kills Christmas.
Individual Score: +0.5
Quick Review
Well, this is another four-story anthology, and like the last time a setup such as this was tried, opportunities for comedy were limited was priority was given toward telling each of the four rushed tales. The final one with the puppets ends up slightly ahead of the others, but that's mostly from the use of Grampa and Jasper as Statler and Waldorf, otherwise the segment - as well as the appearance from Katey Perry - wasn't much. Martha Stewart's appearance was alright as well, I didn't have much of problem with that. Still, none of it was really good, and all the segments combine to make a subpar episode.
Final Score: 6.7
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