The Ned-Liest Catch (S22, E22-486)

It wasn't revealed how many people actually voted.  Was it millions?  Did it reach one million?

Plot Summary
A pep rally for the school's girl's basketball team goes awry when the girls on the team get food poisoning.  Skinner promises the hour to be free time, which quickly descends to chaos, but when Lisa tries to fill up that time with something boring, Skinner tries to cancel free time.  Bart then causes trouble by forcing the bleachers back into the wall, with the kids still sitting on them.  Mrs. Krabappel catches up to Bart an, in an emotional act, slaps Bart in the back of the head, twice, stunning everyone.  Superintendent Chalmers suspends Edna with pay, forcing her to attend a holding facility during her work hours until the board reviews her case.  Bart visits Edna on her first day there, somewhat apologetic about what's happened, and shows Edna a way to escape for awhile: though the window even though the room is on the third floor.  Edna tries to go down a nearby ladder, but its unable to handle her weight.  Bart flees the scene, but as Edna falls she's caught by a nearby Ned Flanders.

The two quickly get along, with the topic of the Simpsons being a decent conversation starter between them.  Edna learns Ned's wife has passed on, and Ned learns Edna's husband is a deadbeat, so they have a little in common in that respect.  The two have lunch, then Edna heads back to the holding facility, though the two hope they'll meet again.  A short time later, Edna is allowed to teach again (and forced to take up work as a weekend prison guard as well), giving her a bit more time to spend with Ned, and the two really hit it off.

Edna starts visiting Ned at his house, which poses a problem for Bart.  Well, not just Bart but also Homer, whose antics Edna isn't willing to deal with.  She forces Homer to be nicer to Ned, and to also give back all of Ned's stuff, basically emptying his garage.  Bart tells Homer about Edna being bad news for the two of them, so Homer concocts a plan to make the Flanders' see Edna in a worse light.  Homer has Bart make Rod and Todd think Edna is a fairy tale monster (which he fails to do), while Homer convinces Ned to break up with Edna.  Homer meets Ned at Moe's tavern to talk about Edna, but Ned convinces Homer that Edna is the woman for him.  However, the other patrons at the bar start revealing that they have also spent some "time" with Edna, including drummer Joey Kramer.  Ned realizes he's been played, and "thanks" Homer for revealing this.  He acts hostile towards Edna the next time they meet, seeing all the other men on her face, but Ned doesn't reveal anything.

Feeling sorry for what's happened, Homer tries to talk to Ned again, able to convince Ned to forgive Edna for her past.  So, later that day, Ned talks to Edna about her past, forgiving her for her transgressions.  Edna takes offense to that, defending her life to this point, and tells Ned that he has to promise that her past will never, ever, get in their way.  Ned isn't willing to relent just yet, commenting that perhaps their relationship will have to be left to a "higher power" to decide.  At this point, the scene shifts to Homer and Marge in a awards show-like setting, advising viewers to visit thesimpsons.com to vote on whether "Nedna" should remain a thing or not, the results of which will be provided in the Season 23 premiere.  Unless you're watching a re-run or a DVD of the episode, in which case Marge is well aware its too late to vote and she recognizes the folly of having people she's never met vote on whether her son's teacher and her neighbor should be a couple.

Quick Review
Comedy wise, its the weakest of the episodes during the season.  Again, humor is pushed aside not just for storytelling, but also to push along the whole "Nedna" bit.  The opening scenes in the pep rally were just awful, and the episode struggles to recover from it, though the episode did hit a mark when Ned imagines all the other men on Edna's face.  Still, this along with 500 Keys brings the season to a dismal close.

This is also the first season finale since Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 1 to feature a cliffhanger ending with the intention of properly resolving it in the following season's premiere.  Well, I hesitate to use the word "properly".  Who Shot Mr. Burns actually held a contest, with prizes, for whoever could determine the shooter over that summer.  Granted, nobody could because it was the baby that shot him, but that was an actual contest, and it received a full episode that conclude that storyline.  However, with "Nedna", that name sounding so manufactured mind you, there is no contest, just an online vote for one of two options, and the results do not get its own episode: its tacked on to the end of The Falcon and the D'ohman, an otherwise unrelated episode.  I hesitate to apply a bad label to this whole "Nedna" effort because I don't think it's as lazy as it seems, but then again...

Final Score: 6.1

500 Keys (S22, E21-485)

How did they even get some of those keys, like the school key?

Plot Summary
Homer takes the kids out to buy a returned wedding cake for cheap, but after returning home he accidentally leaves Maggie in the car, locked, with the keys.  Marge empties out a drawer full of keys hoping to find the car's spare, but Maggie is somehow able to exit the car on her own and return inside the house.  With panic subsided, the family takes a look at all the keys they have, and decide to do whatever with them.  Bart takes a handful of keys in hopes of committing pranks, but every attempt of his ends up doing the community good, which he hates.  Homer has the keys to the Duff Brewery somehow, so he and Barney sneak in, going to the back of the brewery where the blimp is.  Barney tricks Homer into thinking the blimp wants him inside, and Homer quickly steals the blimp and flies off into the sky.

Lisa finds a key to the school, and runs off to return it.  She's stopped by Nelson, who convinces her to live a little, and figure out what the key opens before returning it.  Lisa looks around the building, and sees three odd door side by side: Banned Books, Band Books, and Banned Band Books.  Lisa's key ends up opening the latter door, and she goes inside to find a strange sight: a large classroom that seems impressive at first, but none of the materials within are actually legitimate.  Lisa talks to Principal Skinner about the room, but when the two, along with a bunch of kids, go to the door, the path to the room is replaced by a bookcase, leaving Lisa stunned.

With Superintendent Chalmers apparently part of the cover up, Skinner is able to grab Lisa's key, and Lisa is left unable to solve the mystery.  Luckily, the school paper took a photo of Lisa holding the key, so she uses it to have a duplicate key made to reopen that door.  She busts down the bookcase and re-enters the room, where a mysterious stranger writes on the chalkboard about "the children of bus 23".  Bart, whose tired of his key adventure, teams up with Lisa at this point and has her talk to someone who has been at the school for a long time: the often held back Nelson.  Nelson does recall a bus 23, where on a wintry morning Chalmers forces Skinner to send off that bus through an ice bridge for the sake of time even though it'd likely be too heavy to cross.  Homer arrives in the blimp on coincidence, and the two decide to have Homer take them there.

Homer, of course, can't really operate blimps, so as they reach the river where bus 23 supposedly met its fate, Lisa ends up falling out of the blimp, and into the water where she finds the bus with the kids still inside.  Homer jumps in after her, but he knocks the bus on its side, allowing the bodies to float up through the window.  Quickly, the two realize that these aren't dead kids, but actually mannequins.  However, the two are quickly swarmed by the mannequins and are forced underwater.  Thankfully, another key side story where Marge puts a wind-up key in a moving flatulence toy comes to fruition, as the "Pooter Toot Express" hits an old tree which falls and creates a bridge Homer and Lisa can grab onto.

With the demise of the toy, Marge and Maggie meet up with the rest of the family.  Across the river, Lisa spies the mysterious man she had seen earlier, which turns out to be Otto, who drove the bus to its grave.  Otto is relieved upon learning the kids were only mannequins, and the family decides to bring the mystery to an end.  Skinner and Chalmers attempt to escape, but Bart is able to steal Skinner's car keys, forcing the two to reveal the truth.  Years ago, the school was given a government grant to improve the school.  Skinner cashed the check but the money he put in his pocket was lost when his mother washed his jeans.  Fearing the feds would go after them, the two along with Willie set up a fake classroom with mannequins to fool the feds into thinking they did spend the money wisely.  However, they were only renting the mannequins, so they had to return them quickly, which is why Chalmers risked using the ice bridge route.  Of course, the two never counted on the future Simpsons locking their baby in the car which would lead to them uncovering the keys to the mystery.  Later, Otto, still relieved he didn't kill any kids, now is under the delusion the current group of kids he's carrying are also mannequins as the bus falls into the river.

Quick Review
With a heavy emphasis on storytelling, the episode doesn't have much of a chance to build on comedy, though early on it looked like it would with Bart's and Homer's stories before the focus is put on Lisa's conspiracy story which, mostly, was unfunny.  This ends up as one of the weakest entries to the season.

As an aside, I want to take a moment to mention the character of Superintendent Chalmers.  Originally, the guy was played as a straight man to Skinner's tomfoolery, whom Chalmers tolerated none of.  His main role back in the day would be to critique the scared Principal and his school, which would usually go wrong once Bart pulls off a prank, leaving Skinner in Chalmers' dog house.  It was a gag that worked well, but since then Chalmers' character has changed tremendously.  Nowadays, he's a shell of his former self.  Him yelling out "Skinner!" isn't used as an angry yell to shake up an already shaken Principal, but rather yet another catchphrase that's used only for that purpose.  Further, Chalmers is now often used as Skinner's partner-in-crime in many instances.  It first become really noticeable a few seasons ago, where "Chalmskin" productions hurt the episode more than helped, and that combination didn't help this episode any either.  Chalmers is at his best when he's actually angry at Skinner for one reason or another, not to team up with Skinner to cover up something or working together to earn the school money.

Final Score: 6.2

Homer Scissorhands (S22, E20-484)

In this scene, you see a man die inside.

Plot Summary
After Bart and Lisa accidentally get paint on a sleeping Patty's hair, Homer is forced to do something about it or get in trouble for letting it happen.  Homer cuts Patty's hair, and unwittingly makes it looks pretty good.  After Patty and Selma realize what's happened, Selma makes Homer cut her hair as well.  The two send out word of Homer's ability, and soon Homer becomes in demand for haircuts.  Homer reveals that, because he's lost his own hair he's grown a fascination with it, so much so that he's able to create fantastic cuts without even trying and so after learning how lucrative cutting women's hair could be, he opens up a hair salon.

However, Homer is forced to hear every woman talk all day long about their husbands or significant others, and the continued chatter starts driving Homer insane.  He can't even see other men in town without attaching the criticisms their wives have made about them.  He tries to retire, but Chief Wiggum won't let him when his wife wants her hair done for an upcoming policeman's ball.  He tries to suck at it, but his hands are just too good.  Seeing her husband going insane, Marge finally has enough.  At the policeman's ball, Homer and Marge show up with Marge showing off a spectacular haircut.  The women at the ball compliment Homer's latest, greatest work, but Homer reveals he didn't cut it at all: Marge's normal hairdresser Julio did, and so all the women across town go straight to him for their cuts now, relieving Homer from his misery.  Homer decides to thank Marge by giving her a haircut of her own.

While this is all happening, Milhouse reveals to Bart that he has a new perspective on life after finally being able to see the opening scenes of Finding Nemo, which had previously been restricted from him.  Realizing that if fish can die, he too can die at any moment so he decides to tell Lisa he loves her in a rather open fashion.  He does so in the cafeteria, but Lisa plainly rejects Milhouse.  However, a fifth grader named Taffy liked what Milhouse did and the two become a couple, which makes Lisa suspicious.  Unable to grasp the concept of a popular fifth grader going out with Milhouse, Lisa starts stalking the two on a date.  However, Lisa gets a bit lost in the process and ends up crashing the two's special moment.  Taffy takes it as a sign that Milhouse will always love Lisa somehow, and breaks up with him.  Milhouse becomes upset that Lisa not only won't hook up with him, but is now preventing him from hooking up with anybody else.  Desperate to cheer Milhouse up, Lisa kisses him and though she's as uncommitted as ever, she does admit to him that he does look cute in the moonlight.

Quick Review
Well, this episode is pretty boring for the most part.  Both stories didn't have much going for them, Milhouse's side story less so.  Homer's storyline has a few noteworthy moments, particularly his flashback and the scene at the bar with Moe, but it too was mostly unspectacular.

Final Score: 6.5

The Real Housewives of Fat Tony (S22, E19-483)

It starts to get tiresome, going to your sister's various weddings.

Plot Summary
At the DMV, Bart and Lisa create line chaos after Homer stuck them in the line to do fun things.  Planning to sell the front of the line for money, their plans are halted when Fit Fat Tony comes in to declare a change of address.  However, the clerk working at the time, Selma, does her usual DMV bit to even Tony, and Tony is unable to accomplish anything.  Having been slighted in public, Fat Tony has Selma kidnapped, and plans on slicing off her body parts, courteous enough to let her choose first.  Selma insists of them taking off her love handles, and Tony comes to like Selma's brashness.  He gets a doctor to give liposuction to Selma, and the two begin to fall in love.

Meanwhile, Lisa discovers Bart has a knack for smelling truffles.  The pair encounter Luigi nearby, who pays the two good money for the few truffles they've found, lamenting that the pig he had flown over from Italy was proving worthless at truffle hunting.  Looking to cash in, Bart more than gladly sniffs out more truffles, but Lisa becomes more and more demanding of Bart.  Soon enough as nearly every truffle around has been harvested, Bart tries to quit, but trips and gets knocked out for a second.  Lisa uses this opportunity to cover Bart's mouth and eyes to make him better at truffle sniffing, and indeed it does.  He's able to sniff more truffles... in Lisa's room.  Lisa reveals that she hadn't been selling them, she's been eating them because, as a vegetarian, its the only tasty thing she's had in forever.  With just one truffle left, Lisa lets Bart do whatever with it, and Bart decides to let Luigi's pig eat it, which ends up being a bad idea as the pig becomes truffle crazy and runs amuck in Luigi's restaurant.

Fat Tony and Selma eventually decide to marry, and the family is invited.  During the reception, though, the Simpsons are placed at a faraway table.  Marge is irritated by this, and learns that Selma didn't want Homer screwing things up.  Marge takes offense to this, and the two have an open spat.  Later, Fat Tony decides to invite Homer and Marge to his beach resort in New Jersey so that the two sisters can make up.  After some initial hostilities, Marge and Selma do make up after Selma admits she might've been harsh on Homer out of jealousy that Marge had married.  A short time later, though, as Marge and Homer go back to their room, they overhear Fat Tony getting ready for his "goomar", which Marge knows is slang for a mistress.

Marge tells Selma that Fat Tony is cheating on her, and after Selma cries over yet another failed marriage, she confronts Tony the next morning.  Just then, a woman crashes in with her car, revealing herself to be Fat Tony's actual wife, with a ring to match.  It turns out Selma is the goomar; during the ceremony everything was spoken in Italian, leaving Selma unaware it was to make her Tony's goomar, not his wife.  As Tony's wife and Selma engage in a cat fight, Marge is again glad she's marry to simple ol' Homer, and the two make out nearby.

Quick Review
This episode starts off strong.  I'm a sucker for mob references, and the beginning of the episode had them in spades.  However, once the Jersey Shore references started up, the episode takes a pretty hard fall and there was no recovery from it.  The truffle side story had a little bit going for it at first, but it too suffered from a lame ending, and so the episode ends up as a middle of the road effort for the season.

Final Score: 6.8

The Great Simpsina (S22, E18-482)

Showing someone how a magic trick works just because they're cute.  Lisa Simpson, everyone.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons go peach picking and wind up picking way too many peaches.  After what I assume are days of eating nothing but peaches, Homer is able to get Marge out of the house for a bit while the kids dispose of the remaining peaches.  Lisa winds in an odd part of town, but is scared off by an angry raccoon.  She knocks on a door for safety, but it opens on its own and Lisa takes advantage by going inside.  Somewhat confused by the residence's materials, Lisa is forced to hide when the house's owner starts coming back.  However, Lisa hides in one spot, only to wind up in another, but still the man is able to quickly find her nonetheless.

The man reveals himself as "The Great Raymondo", a former magician of some note.  Lisa becomes interested in Raymondo's tricks, and after displaying her skill a bit, Raymondo is reminded of his late wife, and decides to start teaching her.  At some point, Raymondo sees a new-era magician on TV, Cregg Demon, and is saddened that the guy has bastardized the once mysterious art of magic.  Lisa takes her new skills to the school, performing as "The Great Simpsina", impressing all.  Eventually, Raymondo teaches Lisa his greatest trick that he learned from Houdini himself: the milk can escape, where he locks himself inside a milk can but finds a way to get out anyway.  Lisa performs this trick flawlessly at school as well.  A boy particularly likes the trick and talks to Lisa afterwards.  Infatuated, Lisa decides to show the boy the secret of the trick: while the locks are real, the can is rigged to open up at the middle as well.  The boy reveals he's actually the son of Cregg Demon, and passes on the trick to his father so that he can perform it in due time.  Raymondo learns of this, and angry that Lisa would so casually reveal any magic trick, let alone the big one, kicks Lisa out of his house and likely his life.

Homer sees a saddened Lisa in her room, and decides to take things into his own hands.  He confronts Raymondo, but gets caught in a trap.  Even still, he convinces Raymondo to forgive Lisa.  Raymondo visits Lisa to do just that, and two agree to go to the magic convention where Demon announced he'd do the trick and stop him for some reason.  When they get there, though, they're just too late, but Demon is unable to free himself from the milk can.  Raymondo refuses to help as part of a magician's credo, but when Lisa tries to step in and help, she's stopped by several other magicians: Ricky Jay, Penn & Teller and David Copperfield.  They reveal that they replaced Cregg's trick jar with a real jar because they also believe Cregg is ruining the art of magic, so they simply want him to die.  Lisa tries to help anyway, but the magicians prevent her from doing so.  Raymondo steps in to protect his apprentice, and is able to subdue all four with a single cut of a rope, bringing down stage lights on the magicians.  Raymondo is then able to free Cregg, who decides to get out of the magic business.  Later, Raymondo hosts a magic show once more, but he lets Lisa become the star of it while he goes backstage to dance with an Ether-influenced vision of his wife.

Quick Review
This ends up being one of Season 22's weaker entries.  The opening act with the peaches was just weird, especially as the episode had no proper opening.  The best parts of the episode were Grampa's rant about Raymond, as well as the magicians that appear near the episode.  Otherwise, this episode fell victim to the "tell a story, not a comedy" routine that hadn't reared its ugly head much lately.

Final Score: 6.5

Love Is a Many Strangled Thing (S22, E17-481)

This is the first of two episodes to feature unintentional wettings of cloth.

Plot Summary
For helping save Mr. Burns, Homer is rewarded tickets to a football game with his family.  There, the jumbotrons start up an "act like an ass" fan cam, and everyone starts dancing to some song.  That is, except for Bart, whose disdain for the act is caught on camera.  Homer tries to get Bart into the spirit by tickling him... and tickling him... and tickling him some more.  Bart loses it eventually, and he ends up wetting his pants for everyone to see.

Homer shows remorse for what he did, but Marge insists he take a class to become a better father.  In the class, Homer tells the therapist, Dr. Zander, that he does strangle Bart every once in awhile, saying it rather smugly at that.  Zander is stunned by this, so the following week he has only Homer attend the next session.  Realizing that Homer's case requires drastic measure, he invites his friend Kareem Abdul-Jabar to assist in a method: having the gigantic Kareem - dressed as Homer - strangle Homer wearing a cap shaped like Bart's hair.  This 'therapy' lasts for several weeks, and as Homer reveals he doesn't have health insurance, Zander proclaims Homer as cured.

Homer tells Bart that he won't strangle him anymore, and Bart quickly picks up that even trying to strangle him leaves Homer traumatized.  Bart uses this to his full advantage to commit several pranks both to Homer and the school.  Marge catches wind of this, but with Homer in no condition to stop Bart, she goes to locate Dr. Zander.  It turns out that the economic bust has left high-priced therapists out of work, Zander included.  Still, for $23 and a can of beans, Zander is more than willing to fix his wrong and repair Homer and Bart's relationship.

Zander tries multiple methods to get Bart to care about Homer, but Bart doesn't even try to care.  On one final exercise, where Homer is tied to a noose and then left to hang, Zander tries to get Bart to cut the rope, but he's not even aware of what's going on.  Zander finally has enough, and strangles Bart himself.  Homer realizes that Zander isn't much better than him, and the two decide to sue Zander for their troubles.  Of course, with Zander broke, all they get is his makeshift hollow tree home, but Homer and Bart are more than content with the acquisition.

Quick Review
Well, this wasn't too good of an episode.  It starts off slowly with the odd scene with Mr. Burns, then the moments at the football stadium weren't all that funny either.  The episode starts to pick up once Homer visits Dr. Zander, but the episode cools off again near the end and thus it's unable to recover from its slow start.

Final Score: 6.7

A Midsummer's Nice Dream (S22, E16-480)

Life will never be this groovy again...

Plot Summary
On TV, Kent Brockman reflects on the careers of the celebrated Cheech and Chong, who are going to be in Springfield for a show coming up.  As Brockman reveals "Richard Marin" and "Thomas Chong" were once Channel 6 meteorologists who got their first whiff of fun from an unrelated event outside, Homer is stunned to learn his kids don't know who the two are (Bart also claims ignorance on Beavis & Butthead, even though that show has premiered, ended and recently come back throughout the entire existence of The Simpsons).  Homer was a big fan of the two back when they were big, and Marge was okay with them I guess, so the family goes to see their live show.  Homer and the rest of the crowd gets excited when the duo start their "Dave's not here" bit, but Chong has gotten tired of the repetitiveness, and gets into an argument with Cheech about trying to experiment and not selling out.  The argument eventually reaches a head, and Chong just ups and leaves.  With the show in the balance, Marge convinces Homer, who has remembered every line from the duo's antics, to go up and finish the act with Cheech, which proves to be a pot-influenced success.

Cheech is impressed with Homer's act, and invites him to tour with him across the country.  As "Cheech and Chunk", Homer is excited by this at first, but slowly he comes to learn that Cheech the person is not like Cheech the character.  Real life Cheech cares about making sure the show is perfect, while valuing his cultural heritage, things Homer just can not believe.  Meanwhile, Chong tries to start up a new act, bringing along Principal Skinner as his new partner, as Chong believes him with the unfunniest person there is could create a mindblowing show.  Calling the act "Teech and Chong", the show takes a rather deep look into the fact Dave is actually there, but the show is universally hated.

Meanwhile, Marge and Lisa take the dog for a walk, but it runs off chasing after a cat.  Running into a house, the dog leads the women to the house of the crazy cat lady.  Full of clutter and garbage, its quickly realized that the cat lady is a massive hoarder, and Marge takes it upon herself to clean up the mess.  Sending the cat lady to a movie, Marge along with a team go in and clean up the woman's house, leaving it sparkling clean.  Not only is the cat lady's house cleared, so too is her mind.  As the cat lady regains her sanity, Marge starts taking an interest in some of the clutter that was cleaned up, opting to keep it for herself.  In no time, Bart and Lisa return home to find the house full of garbage, and Marge has become a massive hoarder herself.  Lisa tries to call Homer for help, but Cheech is forcing Homer to continue a rehearsal and he's unable to answer.

Homer does answer eventually and finds a moment to escape Cheech's iron grip to return home.  Homer confronts Marge over her hoarding, bringing in the sane no-cat lady to talk with Marge.  However, the woman becomes enveloped in her garbage again and quickly devolves, calling back both her cats and her insanity.  Homer takes Marge out of the house, under the premise that things will work itself out with a crazy lady inside, and they leave.  The two go back to Cheech, but Homer brings along another person: Chong, who has realized that people just like their classics, for better or worse.  Cheech also comes to terms that its okay to go outside the box every now and then as well.  The two reunite, and things work out for the best.

Quick Review
This is one of the best episodes of the season.  I may be old enough to predate The Simpsons, but I'm still not old enough to remember Cheech and Chong in their prime.  Even so, the pair provide excellent guest spots for the episode, and the bits with "Cheech and Chunk" were excellent.  The hoarding side story has its moments, but nothing too notable, but for the most part the main plot of the episode was pretty good, though the end with Bart as the Shakespeare character Puck (referencing the episode's title) was too odd to be of any worth.

Final Score: 7.9

The Scorpion's Tale (S22, E15-479)

It's like I'm watching modern Family Guy!

Plot Summary
The school takes a field trip to "Satan's Anvil", a desert-like location, Lisa wanders off from the group only to fall right in front of a pair of scorpions.  She backpedals into a field of flowers, where she notices the scorpions have become docile.  Realizing the flower is behind it, Lisa takes the two scorpions along with a flower back with her.  On the way back, she and Bart notice Grampa getting kicked out of the retirement home on account of him being way too cranky, and the two realize where he's going to go next: the Simpson home where Grampa's crankiness annoys all.

Lisa is eventually able to synthesize a fluid from the flower which has the same calming effect on the scorpions.  Homer decides to see if it works as a stain remover and, upon learning it does, decides to try out the liquid on angry Grampa.  He sneaks it into the old man's morning coffee, which has an immediate impact.  Grampa is actually happy, joyous, full of glee.  Lisa quickly suspects the cause, and despite Grampa openly admitting its better for everyone if he keeps taking the fluid, Lisa refuses to let her grandfather be drugged and flushes away the only vial of fluid available.

Homer takes Grampa to the bar, the latter having since regained his grumble.  As Homer laments that he can't make more formula as Lisa won't tell him which flower it is, an odd German man overhears the dilemma and offers help.  He runs a pharmaceutical company, and is able to extract a drop of Grampa's sweat with the formula within, and promises to isolate the drug, and isolate it he does.  While the man promises to have the drug undergo vigorous testing, he gives Grampa a large bottle full of pills for the drug, warning him, Homer and Bart not to let the drug fall into the wrong hands, because it could be sold in the black market.

Bart quickly gets his hands working, and grabs plenty of the pills to sells across town to people fed up with their cranky old folks, like Principal Skinner and Smithers.  Soon, all the seniors across town are docile.  At home, Lisa apologizes to Grampa for her previous behavior as she's glad Grampa can be happy.  Everything seems to be good... until Grampa's eyes fall out of his socket.  Lisa quickly theorizes that a side effect of the flower's solution is that it lubricates the eye sockets so greatly, the eyeballs can simply slide right out.  When Bart admits he's sold plenty of the drug to other seniors, the family is forced to tell the German what has happened.  While the guy is initially willing to let things be, his company's credo just won't let him.  He confronts a happy mob of seniors, all with their eye sockets loosened, telling them he has no choice but to destroy all traces of the drug.  With the seniors coming back to their senses, and Homer putting some kind of moronic display which ruins his car, Grampa rallies the other cranky seniors to remind the younger generations why they're so awful.  They quickly fix Homer's car (which the episode implies Homer had planned), and Lisa struggles to come up with a moral to this odd, odd story.

Quick Review
This episode, after a rather slow start with that boring segment at Satan's Anvil, picks up rather well when Grampa get put into the story.  Grampa is usually a solid source of comedy for me, and angry Grampa provides a fairly strong level of comedy, and even when he becomes docile the comedy is still pretty decent.  The episode takes a dive once the first set of eyeballs pop out in what seems like an out of place occurrence that reminds me more of the shock humor seen in other programs.  As such, the episode ends on a rough note, but overall it still makes for a decent episode if mostly because of Grampa.

Final Score: 7.1

Angry Dad: The Movie (S22, E14-478)

They're willing to mock them but not enough to go beyond parodies.  Seriously, a carrot?

Plot Summary
For some reason, the family leaves Bart home alone for a time.  Of course, Bart does something which wrecks everything.  Before Homer can yell at or punish Bart, the family gets a visitor who is looking for Bart.  The man, who represents a company that makes a wonderful ergonomic chair, reveals that his company wants to make a movie out of Bart's old web cartoon: Angry Dad.  In a complete disregard for continuity, the man continues that in 1999, the studio that made Bart's cartoon bought dozens of chairs from his company, then when the studio went bankrupt from the dot com bust which was still about a decade earlier then when this episode aired, they had still owed the chair company for the chairs, so instead they seized ownership of its cartoons, including Angry Dad.  So, with Hollywood as out of ideas as always, the company decides to make a movie out of the cartoon, which Bart and even Homer agree to do.

As Angry Dad, Homer is a bit of a celebrity among certain circles, which certainly includes the people hired to make the Angry Dad movie.  However, Homer wasn't the voice of Angry Dad in the original web cartoon, but with the original voice basically no longer having a voice, Homer is brought in to provide the voice of his caricature.  Soon, the movie finishes production and is given a test screening, however everyone in the theatre hates it.  Bart is saddened, but Lisa encourages him to take the movie and cut out the crap to turn into a short film.  Some time later, the film gets nominated for a golden globe, and the entire family is invited to the award show.  Despite heavy competition from a Pixar parody that makes you wonder why they even bothered avoiding legal troubles, the cartoon wins the golden globe for best animated short.  Before Bart can accept the award, though, Homer grabs it instead and takes all the credit for the cartoon's success.

Lisa again encourages Bart by saying there'll be other award shows, but Homer takes all the credit every time the film wins an award time and time again.  Late one night, Bart gets a call to inform him Angry Dad has been nominated for an Oscar, but decides not to tell Homer about it, giving him a list of mundane places to visit during the night.  Of course, Bart wasn't aware the Oscars are the very essence of drawing things out.  Homer learns from people that recognize him that he's missing the Oscars, and hitches a ride with them to the ceremony.  Angry Dad does win the award, and as Bart finally gets to deliver a speech, he realizes he can't take sole credit for his film's success.  Lisa gets some credit for the idea of making it a short film, and all the animators and production people deserve some credit as well, and even Homer gets a little credit for providing the voice - and the inspiration.  Homer arrives just in time to listen to this speech, and apologizes for his behavior.  A random celebrity in the audience admits it'd be nice to acknowledge everyone in a film's creation, but you just can't give an Oscar to all of those people.  Bart decides instead to take his Oscar and split it into pieces to share with his team, though relieved that Homer can buy replacement Oscars off of Ebay.

Quick Review
The idea behind this episode is weird, odder still when a character in it makes mention of Hollywood running out of ideas, but the episode itself is using a plot line from nine years ago despite the fact its context makes little sense if you try to keep everyone's ages consistent.

This episode has its high moments and its low moments.  The low moments are definitely the two times Ricky Gervais appears on screen.  The first time he just drags on talking and talking and talking, none of it funny, really dragging the episode down.  He next appears during the credits, and that provides a smidgen of comedy, but overall his appearance really hurt the episode.

The best the episode offered was in the 'short films' that was shown during one award ceremony or another.  The films, which ranged from a parody of Pixar's tendency to make characters out of things like toys or cars to a deep Russian whatever, were for the most part excellent and a worth a watch by themselves.  Unfortunately, between Ricky Gervais and the rest of the episode, the short films do not help the episode too much, leaving it as one of the season's weaker efforts.

Final Score: 6.9

The Blue and the Gray (S22, E13-477)

It seriously looks just like as though an animator forgot to use a fill bucket.

Plot Summary
It's Valentine's Day and as you would expect, Moe is dateless.  He an ad on TV for a Dr. Kissing-her, a supposed love expert, who is hosting a forum on getting dates.  Moe decides the attend the next day.  Meanwhile, its the morning after Valentine's Day, and Homer and Marge are recovering from a wild night.  Marge looks in the mirror and, to her shock, finds a gray hair.  She talks about it with her hairstylist who tells Marge that she's been gray for a good long while, though the toxic fumes in the blue hair dye helps Marge forget that one single fact (clearing up a little contradiction at the same time).  Seeing other gray-haired people leading happy lives with their significant others, Marge decides to ditch the blue and let her hair go fully gray again, stunning the family.

Bart in particular doesn't take this news well while at school, and Homer can't stand seeing the hair though he's able to come up with a flimsy compliment for it.  At Kissing-her's forum, the supposed doctor finds Moe hard to give advice to, but tells him to use a wingman to make himself seem better by comparison.  Moe decides Homer is a natural choice for this role, and Homer is more than glad to do so, especially if it means not being around gray Marge for too long.  Marge initially likes her new change, but things start to sour when other women across town congratulate Marge only for being "brave", and even worse when women she doesn't know starts assuming she's a senior citizen.  Marge talks with Patty and Selma, who both reveal their gray hair is only from all the smoke and ash of their cigarettes, and that the two still have their natural hair color (reddish for Patty, blonde for Selma).  The two realize Homer hates Marge's hair, but Marge refuses to admit anything's wrong.  Then she hears other women talking about Homer during his time as a wingman, and realizes something is, in fact, very wrong.

Marge angrily rushes over to the nightclub where she learned Homer would be, trying to make herself pretty for the club while driving, but that leads to disaster and Marge ends up crashing the car, causing the makeup to get all over her.  Stumbling through strong winds and bramble bushes, Marge ends up with a rather witch-like appearance, but gains easy entry into the nightclub anyway.  Marge confronts Homer over his flirtations with women there, but Homer calmly tells Marge that he is Moe's wingman, and that he can afford to be a wingman because he knows that when he comes home, he'll have a beautiful woman waiting for him.  While the experience also 'probably' teaches the two that true beauty isn't about hair color, Homer does admit that he loves him some blue, and Marge decides to switch back to blue hair.

Quick Review
I feel as though this episode is full of wasted potential.  The episode starts off as another Moe episode, it seems like, but that story dissipates around the midway point once Homer begins as his wingman.  Really, the potential was there for the wingman story to produce much more comedy than it did, but it never happened.  The side story with Bart had its moments too but it was far too short and ended somewhat abruptly.  No, the latter portion of the episode focused mostly on Marge and, sadly, that didn't have much going for it comically.

Final Score: 6.6

Homer the Father (S22, E12-476)

Bumper cars have never been so 80s like they are in this 80s montage.

Plot Summary
Homer comes across an old 80s sitcom on TV called "Thicker Than Water", a typical family values comedy at the time.  Homer really comes to enjoy it, though, and wants to emulate the father from that program.  Around the same time, Bart's bike falls apart, and he wants to get not just any new bike, but the "Street Assassin", a top-notch motorbike.  Bart tries to ask Homer for it, but Homer applies his newfound fathering tips by telling Bart he won't appreciate stuff Homer buys for him, and to earn to money for the bike himself, advice that confuses Bart as usually Homer doesn't bother.  Lisa advises Bart to get a good grade instead so that Homer will reward him with either the bike or the money for the bike.  Bart tries to confirm this with Homer, and Homer does agree that good academics should be rewarded.  Bart studies his ass off for the next time and through his hard work he is able to earn an A on it.  Bart shows it to Homer, but Homer reveals that the sense of accomplishment is Bart's real reward for the A.  Angered, Bart storms off.

A short time later, Apu shows up to give Homer his nuclear plant security badge at the Kwik-E-Mart, and tells Homer to be more careful as terrorists out there would pay a lot of money for the nuclear secrets he supposedly possesses.  Bart overhears the conversation and gets an idea.  He ships out multiple letters to various countries stating he'll give them nuclear secrets in exchange for the motorbike.  Some time later, Bart is chased and captured by men in a CIA truck, but they actually work for Chinese Intelligence in America.  They task Bart with downloading the secrets onto a flash drive, and the bike will be his.  To get the secrets, though, Bart has to get closer with Homer, so he ends up spending much more time with Homer, who is okay with this as it sets off an 80s-style montage.  Eventually, Homer does take Bart to the nuclear plant, where Bart is able to find computers to download secrets from.  That night, Bart sneaks into the zoo and in a pile of bushes finds his motorbike.  Bart grabs it and puts in its place an envelope containing the flash drive for the Chinese to pick up later.  Bart is feeling pretty good, though, as he has his motorbike at last.

The next morning, Bart is shocked to find a second motorbike in the kitchen, as Homer bought it as a reward for all the time the two have been spending together.  Realizing he just became an American traitor for no reason, Bart hurries back to the zoo, his panic causing suspicion from Homer.  Bart sees that the envelope is still there, but before he can leave, the Chinese arrive to retrieve the data.  Bart swallows the drive, but as the Chinese advance on him, Homer arrives to save Bart, stating that his head contains all the nuclear secrets they ever need.  The Chinese agree, and take Homer to China to have him help build a nuclear plant of their own.  It then explodes during the ribbon cutting.  Homer is somehow allowed to go home, where he and Bart decide to spend some time together the old fashioned way: watching television.

Quick Review
This ends up being a pretty good episode, the best one so far this season.  Things get kinda screwy once the Chinese get involved, but for the most part, the call backs to 80s sitcoms, and the references to cast difficulties from said sitcoms, really make the episode, and it also features the best Itchy & Scratchy cartoon I've seen in some time.

Final Score: 7.8

Flaming Moe (S22, E11-475)

For gathering the courage to try and kiss that thing, lets give applause to Waylon Smithers.

Not to be confused with the similarly titled Season 3 episode Flaming Moe's.

Plot Summary
Smithers is stunned to learn he's been left out of Mr. Burns' will.  Confronting Burns later, Smithers is told that because he's always been a follower, and has never been independent, Burns can't respect Smithers.  Torn by these revelations, Smithers tries to go to a bar for a drink.  However, a popular gay bar refuses him entry just from his looks.  Dejected further, Smithers goes to the bar across the street: Moe's.  As Smithers laments over a lack of a gay bar for regular guys, he notices that business is once again slow at Moe's, and comes up with an idea.  Smithers suggests to Moe that the two spruce the place up and turn into a gay bar.  Moe is initially hesitant, but given his only other customer at the moment is Barney, Moe decides to give it a try.

Once a lazy montage, the new bar is open for business, and Smithers is able to convince several gay men to come to it.  One of them, the school's music teacher Mr. Largo, finds a 'soulmate' there and the two decide to leave town for a bit.  To take his place at school, Superintendent Chalmers brings in a free spirited woman Calliope Juniper.  Principal Skinner eventually meets the woman and immediately falls in love.  Skinner calls in Bart for a favor: Calliope has a daughter named Melody, and he'd like Bart to take her someplace, and Skinner can chaperon Bart to meet Calliope.  Bart agrees to do so with some conditions, and Skinner's plan ultimately works like a charm, as the two go back to Calliope's place for the night.  However, Bart really can't stand Melody and before the rather obsessed Melody can get too close to him, Bart breaks up with her.  Calliope gets upset over this and decides to move out of town, but asks Skinner to come with her regardless of whether their relationship lasts for just one more day or a lifetime.  With that mindset, Skinner decides to go with them.

Meanwhile, Moe's new bar is work out pretty well, and Moe hopes it doesn't turn out like the other past, failed attempts at reimagining his bar.  As "Mo's" becomes popular, Smithers does receive the respect he desired from Burns.  However, Moe starts getting popular among his new patrons under the notion that Moe is also gay.  Moe picks up on this, but keeps up the charade to maintain his popularity.  Smithers doesn't like this, and on more than one occasion tries to get Moe to tell the truth about his preferences, but when patrons decide to let Moe run for a spot in the town council so that they can have a voice in government, Smithers reaches a boiling point.  Moe meets several groups out in public, but Smithers confronts Moe, and reveals to the truth to the stunned crowd.  Moe tries to defend himself, but Smithers forces Moe to prove his orientation... by kissing him.  Moe can't bring himself to do, and as he's likely running against a closeted gay Republican, he loses all of his support.  With nothing to lose (and nobody else around), Moe decides to kiss Smithers now, with no regrets.  Skinner also comes back, admitting that his relationship with Calliope lasted just one more day, though he's been gone for three months.

Quick Review
This was an episode that started off rather well, but fell apart at about the time where the Skinner subplot started up.  There was hardly anything about that side story that was even close to funny, and it brought the rest of the episode down.  The main plot also started to lose its steam as the episode shifted focus from Smithers to Moe, leaving it as one of the season's weaker episodes thus far.

Final Score: 6.7

Moms I'd LIke to Forget (S22, E10-474)

"This is for Repressed Rage!"  Denial About Family exclaims after filling Social Life with hot lead.

Plot Summary
The 4th grade and 5th grade start up an intense rivalry following a poorly officiated dodgeball match between the two.  It eventually comes to a head and the two grades agree to a showdown after school.  Bart and the 5th grade's apparent leader face off, but both are stunned to find a small sword-shaped scar on both of their hands.  Bart asks Marge about it, and Marge tells Bart that when he was little, she took Bart to a "Mommie and Me" toddler gym with three other boys.  As the mothers spent time with one another, the boys got into all sorts of mischief.  Marge, though, realized the other boys were a bad influence on Bart, and eventually had a falling out with the other mothers, which saddens Marge as she was good friends with them.  With Bart's encouragement, Marge sets up a meet with the three mothers.

As the four moms reminisce, Homer is stuck with the other husbands, none of whom are interested in making any sort of attempt at friendship.  Meanwhile, Bart reunites with his playschool friends, including that same 5th grader, but he comes to learn that they like to play rough, even for his standards.  Still, Marge successfully becomes friends with the mothers again and they all agree to meet up every Tuesday night, giving Marge a social life once again.  Bart gets tired of the rough and tough style of the other boys, though, and decides to once again investigate his sword scar, having never gotten a reason for it from Marge.  He goes to Dr. Hibbert, who tells him to talk to the comic book guy about it.  Comic book guy eventually tells Bart the story behind the scar: seven years ago, on the 4th of July, the boys and their mothers went to see a fireworks show, being operated by the comic book guy.  The boys are able to walk away from their distracted mothers, and approach the distracted comic book guy's operating table, shooting off dozens of fireworks at once.  A large blazing chunk of fireworks falls right onto the comic book guy's hero sandwich, sending four sword-shaped sandwich skewers flying - right onto the hands of each of the four boys.

Bart comes to the conclusion that Marge broke contact from the other mothers under the idea that their boys were a bad influence on Bart.  He decides to try to break them up again so that he doesn't have to deal with the other boys any longer by taping together large quantities of fireworks.  Marge catches him in the act, though, and tells Bart that she needs to have a little social life, and Bart relents.  At the next mother meeting, Marge tells the other mothers about Bart's plan, and none of them are surprised.  They tell Marge that Bart is a bad influence on their kids.  Marge takes offense, and has another fallout from the group which is fine for them because they can resume their lesbian activities once more.  Marge realized that those mothers were never really true friends, but Bart and Lisa promise to be her friends instead.  Marge doesn't tell Homer about this, though, and he's stuck with the other husbands once again, a situation so dull he gladly enjoys the company of Ned Flanders instead.

Quick Review
This was a decent episode, though whenever there was focus on Marge the comedy kinda took a break.  The best the episode had to offer came either from Bart or with Homer, particularly when they were with the people they didn't want to hang out with.  The bulk of the episode's humor came from those interactions, otherwise the plot with Marge has little to go on.

Final Score: 7.0

Donnie Fatso (S22, E09-473)

I like how there's a carrot in Fit Tony's hand, as though we wouldn't get that he's fit otherwise.

Plot Summary
It's New Years Day, but unfortunately for Homer, he gets pinned by a slew of Springfield's new laws meant to tax the hell out of people.  Piling up $1000 worth of fines, Homer gets advice from Moe to place a bribe at window #9 at the courtroom.  Homer tries to do so, but nobody is at the window at the time so he leaves his ticket and a bag with the word "bribe" on it at the window.  Of course, a short time later Homer is arrested for the bribe and is given a 10 year jail sentence.

Homer is about to begin his sentence when Chief Wiggum reveals a way Homer can get out early: become a mob informant.  Homer meets up with an agent of the FBI, who informs Homer he's been on Fat Tony's tail for 20 years, trying to catch him smuggling Belgian guns.  He wants Homer to get close to Fat Tony, wearing a Fonzie-like wig which contains surveillance equipment as a disguise.  With Tony and his cronies currently in prison, Homer is sent in as Nicky "Blue Pants" Saxophony, and befriends Louie after he 'defends' Louie from a 'guard' (the FBI agent).  Louie takes Homer's act as genuine, and soon introduces Homer to Fat Tony, who decides to break out of prison.  As the prison was made by the mafia, Tony quickly crumbles a nearby wall and the group easily escapes.

Tony and Homer become fast friends, but before Homer can get any closer, Tony wants Homer to whack Moe, who mistakenly believed Tony's innocent mis-dial was a prank call.  Tasking Homer to burn down Moe's Tavern, Homer is saved when Moe does the deed himself rather than install a ladies' room.  Tony doesn't see this and only assumes Homer actually did it, and therefore lets Homer into the family, a gesture Homer fully accepts.  Soon, though, Homer is taken to a dock where Tony tells Homer about a Belgian gun shipment that's about to come in.  Homer tries to warn Tony, and as authorities start moving in, Tony finally figures out that Homer was a rat.  Unable to deal with the betrayal, Fat Tony has a heart attack, and dies right there.

With the FBI agents rather cold towards Homer, Homer is let free and is able to go home.  Still, he can't let go of his time with Fat Tony, and visits his grave where he gets whacked with a shovel.  Upon coming to, he thinks he hears Fat Tony's voice, but its actually the voice of his cousin, Fit Tony who, as the name implies, looks like a much fitter version of Fat Tony.  Fit Tony planned on killing Homer, but after seeing Homer's genuine sorrow and grief towards Fat Tony's death, Fit Tony decides not to kill Homer, believing that Fat Tony's memory will live on in him.  Homer narrates the rest, as Fit Tony takes over the Springfield mafia.  However, Fit Tony has a hard time dealing with the pressure of being a mob boss, and starts overeating to lessen his woes.  Eventually, he gains enough weight to be called "Fitfat Tony" and then just "Fat Tony", even wearing the same clothes as the original one.  Still, Homer is glad to be back with his family even if the only person in said family to ever shoot a gun was Maggie.

Quick Review
I remember seeing this episode when it first aired, and I remember hating it.  I gave a pass to The Principal and the Pauper back in Season 9 for its blatant screw around with established canon, but for some reason having Fat Tony die only for him to be replaced by his cousin Fit Tony who ate so much he became the new Fat Tony just bugged me badly.

Watching it again, the episode isn't as bad as I originally thought it to be.  Leading up to the big moment, the episode actually fares pretty decent, as well as most other Season 22 episodes thus far anyway, and the segment where Homer infiltrates Fat Tony's crew was entertaining.  Hell, the moment Fat Tony dies wasn't bad either by itself, I didn't have a problem with that and the gag with Homer's self-destructing hair added a nice but not overboard comical touch to it.

Still, though, the inclusion of Fit Tony, and using him to maintain a Fat Tony character for future episodes seems like such a cop out, even by Armin Tamzarian standards.  Its like the writers wanted to make an impactful episode, complete with a characters death, this time with meaning unlike a previous episode, yet they were mandated not to kill anyone off so they threw together a nonsense of an ending to keep canon intact, even though it loses all of the impact of the death.  It seems so pointless and it just ruins the episode.

Final Score: 6.4

The Fight Before Christmas (S22, E08-472)

Homer is joyous at what he sees.  The others... are more stunned, really.

Plot Summary
Its the night before Christmas, and all through the house, nobody had any Christmas spirit, except Homer's spouse.  Homer is just watching TV, Lisa has shifted her agenda to the plight of cut down trees, and Bart has a weapon ready for Santa Claus because he's failed to give Bart a dirt bike the last three years.  Marge has enough and just goes to bed.  Bart tries to wait for Santa in the living room, but dozes off.

Bart's Dream
When he comes to, the polar express arrives.  Under Otto's care, the train is fueled by lots and lots of hemp.  Bart eventually reaches the north pole where he's met by an elf supervisor (Moe), who tells Bart he's gotta work his way up the ranks to meet Santa, and sends Bart to the wrapping center.  While Santa's workshops seem to be in the dumps, Bart comes up with several cost-cutting measures, and in no time he is promoted to Vice President.  Another elf executive (Lisa) gets wise to Bart's plan, and tries to stop him, but Bart melts the snowmen guards, and meets Santa (Krusty).  With his office run down as well, Santa explains to Bart that, since his business model only gives him cookies as a financial reward.  Bart gives up on his quest for vengeance, and makes up with Santa.  After Bart leaves, Santa reveals the ruse; he's actually very successful and rich, not that Bart will ever know.
Individual Score: +0.3

Lisa's Dream
Still angry about all the poor trees being cut down, Lisa goes to sleep, dreaming about an alternate version of her family in 1944, as the Allies have invaded France.  Marge is part of the invasion force, with Homer working as a riveter because he's too fat to be an adequate soldier.  He brings home a Christmas tree, but Lisa refuses to accept it, recalling a year ago when she and Marge tried to buy a Christmas tree only for Marge to be called into active duty immediately.  Sure enough, this time around a message comes in which states that Marge has gone MIA.  Lisa runs off in tears.  She winds up at the tree shop where she last saw Marge last year, but the shopkeep reveals a tree Marge paid for last year but never picked up.  The shopkeep had maintained the tree over the past year, and trims it to look kinda like Marge.  Lisa takes it as a sign Marge is still alive, and joyfully brings it home.  In France, Marge is on her own, but is able to infiltrate a Nazi-controlled theatre currently housing Hitler, and she's able to kill every Nazi inside to win the war.  Lisa wakes up, wondering what the hell just happened.
Individual Score: +0.4

Marge's Dream
Marge is still upset over the lack of Christmas spirit, and writes a letter to someone pleading with them to help fix her Christmas.  The letter flies out the window, but reaches its intended recipient: Martha Stewart!  Martha immediately goes to Marge's house to help and quickly spruces everything up.  At the same time, she also "fixes" Bart and Milhouse by wrapping them up into soldiers and forcing them to march.  She also frowns upon Lisa's attempt at crafts and sends her out to half-assedly make a snow angel.  Worse yet, Martha creates a wonderful Christmas scene - over Homer's sleeping body, giving him 'medicine' to ensure he stays asleep.  By the end, Marge simply wants Martha to put everything back to normal, and Martha begrudgingly does.  Marge wakes up at this point, and finds everyone walking into the bedroom wishing Marge a Merry Christmas.  They plan on making breakfast in the bedroom, but after a mess Homer decides to just take everyone out, and Marge is more than happy that everyone else is happy.
Individual Score: +0.4

Maggie's Dream
Back to the night of Christmas Eve, Maggie goes to sleep holding her Muppe- er, "Fluppets" book.  In her dream, everything's been reimagined as puppets.  Puppet Moe comes in to house sit for the puppet Simpsons, who are going to Hawaii for the week.  Puppet Moe calls a woman over, claiming the Simpson house to be his bachelor pad, and nobody around seems to mind.  However, Puppet Homer is paid a visit by Puppet Mr. Burns, which worries Homer as he had told Burns he broke his neck and had to stay home for a week.  Puppet Homer quickly tries to cover his ass, and Puppet Burns seems to buy it.  However, the cover is blown when real life Katey Perry walks in, as she is the woman Puppet Moe was talking to on the phone.  Puppet Homer can't keep a secret anymore, and tells Puppet Burns the truth.  Puppet Burns tries to release the hounds, but the budget was spent on Perry, who decides to hug and kiss Puppet Burns to cool him off.  Puppet Burns forgives Homer, and all the puppets sing the original 39 Days of Christmas song.  Puppet Grampa and Puppet Jasper, playing the roles of Statler and Waldorf, pretty much call this act the thing that kills Christmas.
Individual Score: +0.5

Quick Review
Well, this is another four-story anthology, and like the last time a setup such as this was tried, opportunities for comedy were limited was priority was given toward telling each of the four rushed tales.  The final one with the puppets ends up slightly ahead of the others, but that's mostly from the use of Grampa and Jasper as Statler and Waldorf, otherwise the segment - as well as the appearance from Katey Perry - wasn't much.  Martha Stewart's appearance was alright as well, I didn't have much of problem with that.  Still, none of it was really good, and all the segments combine to make a subpar episode.

Final Score: 6.7

How Munched is That Birdie in the Window? (S22, E07-471)

Like a speeding bullet.

Plot Summary
A pigeon flies through a window in Bart's room, having injured its leg.  As Lisa is creeped out by pigeons, Bart is tasked with nursing it to health.  He does so, but when the day comes for Bart to release it back into the open, neither he nor the pigeon are willing to part, so Bart officially adopts it as a pet.  He decides to teach it how to be a carrier pigeon, and that whole process is coming along nicely.  In quick time, the pigeon becomes a beloved member of the family (except from Lisa).  However, one day, Bart lets the pigeon out of the cage to cover it with a blanket, but in a flash Santa's Little Helper grabs and eats the pigeon.

Bart has a hard time dealing with his pigeon's death, especially at the hands of the dog.  At times, Bart comes close to forgiving it, but the dog ends up pouncing at a bird like thing or another dead animal or something, and Bart gets mad at it again.  The family takes Bart and the dog to a psychiatrist, who tells Homer and Marge they have no choice but to give the dog away.  The two find an ostrich farmer to give it to, and drive up to the farm to deliver the dog.  As Bart says one final goodbye to his dog, including the message that he should stop killing birds, Homer unwittingly lets an ostrich escape, and it makes it way towards Bart.  The dog starts barking at it, but remembers Bart's final words, and backs off.  Bart has no choice but to strangle the ostrich himself, rendering it dead.  From the act, Bart finally understands where the dog is coming from, and he finally forgives him.  Homer takes home the ostrich for dinner, but it turns out the bird didn't actually die, causing panic and chaos within the car.

Quick Review
This episode wasn't anything special.  Though the title kinda spoils the fate of the bird, the dog suddenly jumping in to eat it was still a bit of a surprise and really changed the tone of the episode, mostly for the worse as there really wasn't much to laugh at from that point on.

Final Score: 6.9

The Fool Monty (S22, E06-470)

Bad to the goddamn bone.

Plot Summary
The media releases a virus they've been hiding for awhile just so that they spend all day and night 'reporting it'.  A panic about the so-called "cat virus" goes around in Springfield, but a small supply of vaccine is made to combat it.  Unfortunately for everyone, Mr. Burns just drives on in (well, technically, Smithers is doing the driving), takes a large batch of vaccines, then runs over the rest.  Later, Burns' doctor administers the vaccine, but still has bad news for the old man: he's only got six weeks to live.  Burns decides to host a massive gala to deliver the news, but once he delivers it, the crowd erupts in joy over Burns' incoming demise.  A short time later, Burns wants to go out on his terms, and with Smithers witnessing, jumps off a cliff to his death.

However, Burns survives by falling onto the front of a plane, getting knocked into the woods where the trees break the rest of his fall.  The next morning, Bart finds Burns who has some pretty severe amnesia.  The old man can barely even function and has a Ralph-like demeanor.  Bart tries to ignore it, as its a little too weird even for him, but Burns is so helpless he decides to take him home.  Meanwhile, Smithers gets a new job being the assistant of Dick Chaney, who is basically a younger, more trendy Burns.  Bart tries to hide Burns from everyone, but as the family watches Burns' funeral on TV, Burns walks in on them before Bart can stop him.  Homer is more than willing to exact some vengeance on the old man, but Marge insists Burns be taken to the town's leaders.  However, they also agree on vengeance, despite Lisa's attempts to stop them.  A plan is set up where each townsperson gets half an hour with Burns at a time to mess with him anyway they'd like.  Sure enough, Springfield knows how to exact vengeance, especially Homer.  He gets another go at Burns, but he's worn out from vengeance, so Lisa spends the 30 minutes with Burns, taking him to his now foreclosed manor to show he's still become a better man.  However, seeing a portrait of his old self reawakens Burns, well, older self, and much to Lisa's dismay Burns regains his memory.

After retrieving Smithers from Cheney, Burns arrives in town on a helicopter to enact some revenge of his own: putting a giant glass dome over the town.  However, that's been done before, and putting a glass cube over the town is no different.  Marge tries to convince Burns that, hey, its six weeks later and he's still alive, and therefore the time he's spend being nice to people is what helped him survive.  Burns tries to confirm this by being nice to Ralph, but nearly dies in the process.  Quickly, Burns learns that by being mean, he builds up enough bile to survive practically anything, and flies off triumphant, though Nelson had bonded with Burns during his half hour with him previously and forces him to attend a play Nelson has a part in.

Quick Review
This episode had some potential, what with the town being able to get vengeance on an mentally ill Burns and all, but it was somewhat unrealized as the episode lost some steam once Burns got his memory back.

Final Score: 7.0

Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life (S22, E05-469)

There aren't large quantities of kids that do that anymore... are there?

Plot Summary
A gas station is hosting a promotion where its giving away a series of toys that Maggie really likes, and she already has every one except for the rarest one.  Homer decides to get Maggie that last toy, but the nearest gas station involved in the promotion is way out of town.  Homer and the family go there, but Homer is unable to win the toy despite spending way too much money on gas to win several more chances.  Homer eventually gives up and drives back in defeat.  He takes an odd route back, but Marge recognizes the area as the one she grew up in as a child.  She visits her old house, now occupied by a shut in or something, and retrieves a box full of her old stuff.  Lisa notices lots of tests, quizzes and assignments done by Marge that have high marks, leaving Lisa to wonder how Marge could've ended up like she did if she had such high grades.

Lisa looks into the matter further and notices Marge's grade plummeted in 12th grade, right when she met Homer.  Lisa talks to Homer about this and Homer says that even if he hadn't met Marge, some other distraction - either a boy or some kind of hobby - would've come along to take Marge off the academic path, and that it'll happen to Lisa as well.  Refusing to accept the possibility of getting bad grades, Lisa rids herself of her distractions, including her saxophone.  Homer tells Marge about the conversation, which really gets to Marge.  The next morning, Marge confronts Lisa over her attitude, and Lisa does admit that she doesn't want to end up like Marge, leaving her mother scorned.

Meanwhile, Bart runs afoul of Nelson, but thanks to some luck Nelson mostly incapacitates himself, but the kids in school see it as though Bart beat Nelson up, taking over as the school's bully.  The next few encounters with Nelson end up in similar fashion, but Nelson gets so angered with these events he promises to annihilate Bart at some point.  Bart talks to Marge about it, who advises him to compliment Nelson to end his rage.  Bart tries it out, and he's able to make it work after complimenting Nelson's punching skill, and the two walk away as friends again.

Lisa may be able to avoid distractions at home, but she definitely can't do anything about the distractions at school.  On the bus ride home, she sees a bus coming from a gifted private school, and Lisa wants her parents to get her into that.  It's too expensive of course, but when Homer, Marge and Lisa talk to the school's head, Marge demands a private word with the guy.  A short time later, the head agrees to let Lisa attend on a full scholarship.  Lisa is thrilled to attend the school of her dreams, but learns soon afterward that there is no scholarship; Marge agreed to wash every school uniform so that Lisa can attend.  Marge tells Lisa that she doesn't want Lisa to end up like her.  Lisa, feeling bad for what's happened, comes up with a flimsy excuse to not go to her new school anymore, and admits that she'd be honored to end up like Marge.  The two hug, but Lisa worries about herself still.  Just then, Bart and Nelson walk in after some kind of binge, and Homer reveals he got Maggie her toy, if only because he broke into the gas station and stole it.

Quick Review
Season 22 has been very heavy with Lisa-related plotlines so far.  The first four non-Halloween episodes all have storylines that have a focus on Lisa, but they've mostly been okay to this point.  This episode is also okay, though that's mostly because of Homer's involvement in the episode, jokes around him were pretty good, and Bart's sidestory had some good humor as well.  Lisa's main story with Marge is, perhaps predictably, not that funny outside of Homer's bits, but its nice to see Lisa come in conflict with Marge instead of Homer for a change of pace.

Final Score: 7.1

Treehouse of Horror XXI (S22, E04-468)

Should've read the nutrition facts, he's full of so much saturated fat... sodium too.

Plot Summary
As Homer and Bart get into a physical scuffle while carving pumpkins, Professor Frink interrupts the program, showing the weak of will that they can use TiVo to skip the more gruesome parts.  He demonstrates, but the fast forwards speeds up on him, showing spoilers for the three segments of the episode.  Frink, realizing his colossal error, uses his remote to fast forward himself to death as punishment.

War and Pieces
Marge doesn't like Bart and Milhouse playing violent video games, so she has them play board games instead.  After going through several legally okay knock offs of popular board games, The two uncover an odd board game called Satan's Path.  Bart takes a turn, but suddenly the game in a Jumanji-like fashion takes all the other board games and incorporates them into real life, creating somewhat humorous situations across town.  Lisa tells them they need to complete the game to turn everything back to normal, so the two head out onto a Battleshipboat to finish the game, but they get hit, which causes Milhouse to lose.  Bart comes across the final game to beat: a game similar to Mouse Trap, but is attacked by various game pieces.  Recalling his video game experiences, Bart basically kills everything, then starts up the Mouse trap or whatever to end the games.  Things return to normal and Bart and Milhouse decide to play something simple, like Hangman.  For some reason they play the hardcore version of it and lose.
Individual Score: +0.6

Master and Cadaver
Homer and Marge are on their second honeymoon, having taken a boat out into uncharted waters.  Before they can start doing it, though, a man in a rowboat hurries his way over to their boat in a panic.  As Marge tends to the man, Homer becomes rather jealous.  The man, Roger, reveals that he was the chef of a business boat, but his employer attempts to inject one of Roger's pies with poison.  Roger tries to stop him, but is knocked out by a soy sauce bottle.  When he comes to, he finds the other businessmen in the boat poisoned to death.  He gets off the boat but rows for days before coming across Homer and Marge.

Still a bit upset, Homer talks to Marge privately, suspicious that it was Roger who poisoned that pie.  Marge doesn't believe him, but Roger pops by to give them a random pie.  Homer throws it out and, sure enough, the shark that eats it dies.  Marge is now convinced as well and Homer goes by a "him or us" mentality to kill Roger.  Using Marge as a distraction, Homer knocks Rogers out with a sail and pushes him off the boat, believing him dead.  Marge isn't happy about it, but what's done is done.

Later, the two come across another boat, the same one Roger had described earlier.  It turns out, after inspecting the boat, that Roger's story was true.  Marge is now panicking as she's responsible for an innocent man's death.  Just then, Roger appears, having survived the murder attempt, but Homer grabs a harpoon gun and kills Roger for real.  The other business men come to, having apparently been made aware of the poison and took antidotes which still left them unconscious for days apparently.  Still, Homer wants no witnesses and kills all of them as well, and to complete his rampage, he kills a spying seagull as well.  Marge can't deal with all of this murder and the guilt of said murder, and decides to eat the poisoned pie, leaving Homer to grieve the loss.  Then it turns out the story was just something Maggie had imagined while playing in the bathtub.
Individual Score: +0.8

Tweenlight
At school. Lisa becomes smitten by a new student, Edmund (voiced by Daniel Radcliffe).  The kid saves Lisa's life by preventing several vehicles from running into her.  He then swoops Lisa away from the public eye, where Lisa learns Edmund is a vampire which she thinks is totally cool.  She invites Edmund over for dinner, and he's forced to bring along his nosy father, Dracula.  As Dracula entertains the Simpson family with his Dixieland Jazz, an annoyed Edmund takes Lisa away.  Marge forces both Homer and Dracula to grab their respective children before anything goes wrong.

The two chase their kids to a church tower, where Lisa is more than willing to let Edmund bite her.  Dracula comes in just in time to stop them, but when Lisa tells Dracula she'll embrace and promote the real vampire culture, Dracula is more than willing to let Lisa become one.  However, Lisa then learns that vampires stay the same age, and she isn't willing to stay eight forever.  Edmund, though, is overwhelmed with bloodlust, but Homer arrives to stop him, but Dracula also defends his son.  As the two fathers bond over their similarities, Edmund makes another run at Lisa.  Homer comes between them, willing to sacrifice himself.  Both Edmund and Dracula drink Homer's blood, but its so saturated with fat they both die from, I dunno, fat poisoning or something.  Homer turns into a vampire, but learns the hard way that he's too fat to fly as a bat, and falls to his death.  Lisa is particularly unmoved by all of this.
Individual Score: +1.0

Quick Review
Its back to average for the Treehouse of Horror.  The segments got better as they went along, but none of the segments were really all that great.  The first one was too jumpy, relying on sight gags and references that didn't pan out.  The next segment was pretty decent for what it was and that last segment was pretty good considering it was somewhat of a Twilight parody.  In all, its a decent episode, not the worst Treehouse of Horror, but not that good either.

Final Score: 7.3

MoneyBART (S22, E03-467)

Mike Sciosia's tragic ego made us... well, not really smile per se...

Plot Summary
Springfield Elementary has its first ever student graduate from an Ivy League school - Yale, no less - and she's come back visit the school where it first started.  The woman meets Lisa, but when Lisa tries to tout her extracurriculars, it still pales in comparison to what the Yale grad had going at the same age, and tells Lisa she'll need to do a lot more if she wants to get to a good school.  Later that day, Flanders goes to the Simpson house to inform Bart that he is resigning as the manager of his little league team, noting that by letting a bad call go he's lost his way.  The team is likely disbanded, and Bart is left wondering what to do for the summer.  However, he notices the team practicing, and they tell him they have a new manager: Lisa, who openly admits she's only taking the otherwise unwanted job so that she can beef her credentials for Yale.  Still, she knows nothing about baseball, and goes off to learn as quickly as possible.

She tries to talk to Homer and his friends at the bar, but they offer little help.  Nearby, a gaggle of nerds are discussing baseball in very statistical sense.  Lisa talks to one of them, Professor Frink, and he informs Lisa that baseball can be followed by stat-crunchers thanks to the advent of Sabrmetrics which allows anyone with a basic concept of statistics to manage a baseball team.  The nerds give Lisa several Sabrmetric books and Lisa quickly learns the material on the fly, the quirky managerial moves she makes enabling the team to victory after victory.  The team soon moves up to 2nd place, but Bart gets tired of Lisa's calculating, wishing to return to the game he grew up with.  Bart goes up to bat with the bases loaded, bottom of the 9th, and Lisa asks Bart to simply draw a walk to win the game.  However, after two balls, Bart has enough and swings at the next pitch.  He hits a walkoff grand slam to win the game.  As Bart showboats his way back to home, Lisa is furious with Bart for disobeying her and just ups and kicks him off the team.

Bart and Lisa are at odds at home, and the friction extends to the parents where Marge defends the notion of family sticking together while Homer defends the notion of winning in baseball.  Still, Lisa's tactics help the team win another game, and Bart feels left out now.  Lisa's team gets to play in the state finals, but Ralph gets sick from "juicing" too much, and she needs Bart to take her place.  Bart, who's currently on a rollercoaster with Marge, couldn't care less, but behind him is Mike Sciosia, whom as you may (and Marge does) recall suffered from acute radiation poisoning the last time he was in Springfield, not only recovered, but also: gained super manager powers, gained the ability to demagnetize credit cards, and also aged a couple of decades while everyone else stayed the same age.  Sciosia tells Bart that he should listen to his manager no matter who it is because that's how you help your team to win.  Bart is convinced, I guess?, and he returns to team ready to pinch run at 1st base.  Down by one in the 9th inning, Lisa tells Bart not to steal any bases, but Bart steals both 2nd and 3rd base, and announces he's going to steal home, even though Lisa has calculated stealing home to be a virtual impossibility.  Even so, Bart makes the attempt and as Lisa begins to freak out over the move, she also starts to realize that the moment is very exciting, and starts cheering Bart on.  Of course, the throw to home is in time, and Bart is tagged out at home, ending the game.  Despite that, Lisa thanks Bart for helping her realize baseball can be fun and exciting too, like every other sports except not as much, and the two reconcile with the team.

Quick Review
I preface this by stating that while I am a fan of both baseball and statistics, I'm one of the old fashioned types who likes baseball for the fun it may or may not bring at times, and I've never been interested in Sabrmetrics.  I don't know why I bothered stating that as that doesn't really affect my enjoyment of the episode, but whatever.

The episode also featured a slightly altered opening sequence by Banksy, some graffiti political activist, whatever.  He also was behind the episode's couch gag, which to much criticism showcased animation of the show being done in awful sweatshops in conditions not unlike something you would see in Schindler's list.  I wasn't fully aware of the background behind this sequence while watching though it did bug me over how unfunny it was, which I guess was its point, but really, this show isn't a good place to attempt such a shock value statement like that.  And of course, nobody even remembers it now unless directly reminded of it, so the point didn't even matter.  That's great.

Anyway, the episode itself ended up being okay.  Sciosia's appearance this time around wasn't anything special though it was appreciated when a connection between this episode and the one 19 seasons ago was made.  Also by this point he hadn't won a World Series in, what, eight years, kinda missed the boat on him being some kind of super manager.  Other than that, I felt the opportunities for comedy were somewhat limited with how the episode set itself up.  The side thing with Homer and Marge taking sides never went anywhere, and Bart coming back at the end was set up in a rather flimsy fashion.  Its not a terrible episode, but it could've been better.

Final Score: 7.0