Walking Big & Tall (S26, E13-565)

I kinda capped this randomly, but Selma can't believe what she's seeing right now.

Plot Summary
It's learned that Springfield's anthem is no different than the anthem of most other cities, thanks to former mayor Hans Moleman who "wrote" the song 30 years ago.  Mayor Quimby allows Lisa to write up a new anthem, and she enlists Bart to help with lyrics.  In short time, the two are able to come up with a new anthem focused on what Springfield hasn't screwed up on, and premieres it in a theatre.  During this, Homer has trouble fitting into his seat, and after the conclusion of what turns out to be a hit anthem, Homer is unable to get up during the standing ovation.  He gives another effort to do so but it turns disastrous as he pulls up the entire row of seats with him, causing mockery and other related damages.

The next morning, Marge tells Homer to go to a support group called "Over-Feeders Anonymous", but Homer accidentally enters a room full of similarly large people who take pride in over-eating known as "Big is Beautiful".  The group is led by a wheelchair-bound man named "Albert" who easily convinces Homer to take pride in his girth, including directly to Marge.  Soon, the group stages a protest against a store for promoting thinness, and the entire group is arrested.  Marge attempts to bail Homer out, but insults the group while doing so, forcing Homer to choose between staying in jail with his new food-positive friends or his diet-conscious wife.  Predictably, Homer chooses the former.

Bart and Lisa decide to come up with a new song to change Homer's mind (though Bart only proposed the idea to avoid talking to Marge further), but the two are unable to come up with anything.  Albert leads another fat pride protest at the town square, where Marge tries to reason with Homer again, but with Lisa and Bart arguing over their failure and Homer arguing that America's greatest leader was also wheelchair bound (Professor X, of course), Marge basically gives up.  Insulted that he is considered "wheelchair bound", Albert defiantly stands up to show that he is not ashamed of who he is.   Then he suffers a heart attack and dies.  After the funeral, Homer learns some lessons: first to never be proud of anything again, and to continue yo-yoing his weight from now until eternity.

Quick Review
This episode was not that funny.  Not a whole lot of jokes, well, funny jokes anyway.  There were a lot of meta references as well, but nothing worth laughing about.  The main plotline about the fat acceptance group had many lows and while the opening bit with the anthem wasn't a particular strong point the rest of the episode made no effort to improve upon it.  Another weak episode.

Final Score: 6.1

A Star is Burns (S06, E18-121)

Burns: "Are you saying 'boo' or 'boo-urns'?"
Crowd: "BOOOOOOOO!  BOOOOOO!"
Moleman: "I was saying 'boo-urns'..."

Plot Summary
Its learned that Springfield is the least popular city in the nation, ranking dead last in science and culture.  Worried that what little tourism the city actually has will diminish, the town has a meeting to determine how to fix this problem.  Marge, much to everyone's chagrin, has a suggestion but unlike past suggestions people like this one: a film festival where Springfield's locals can submit films to judging.  The town takes to the idea and soon everyone in town starts filming.  Needing someone to help judge the event, Marge along with Lisa look for viable film critics on TV, finally settling on one Jay Sherman for how smart and sensitive he is.  Marge writes to Jay and asks him to visit Springfield, and decides to go, if only because Rainier Wolfcastle wants his blood for insulting him on TV.

As Bart senses "another cheap cartoon crossover" approaching, he meets Sherman, The Critic, as he stays at the Simpsons place up until after the festival.  Homer is quickly put off by Sherman, as he seems more capable than Homer in everything, including belching, and especially including the ability to recite the entire Oscar Meyer song.  With Marge not particularly defensive of Homer's intelligence, Homer insists Marge put him on the film jury, a list that includes Marge, Jay, Mayor Quimby and Krusty the Klown.  Marge relents, and puts Homer in.

As the festival nears, Mr. Burns decides to take part, as he learns profits are dropping because he's seen as an ogre-like individual.  With Steven Spielberg unavailable, Burns calls upon Señor Spielbergo, Spielberg's non-union, Mexican equivalent to direct the film and opts to play the role of himself after finding no suitable actors.

The day of the festival arrives, and things start well enough.  One movie, aptly named "Man Getting Hit by Football" features Hans Moleman getting hit in the groin with a football, a movie that quickly becomes Homer's favorite.  Next, Barney Gumble made a film that chronicles the pain and sorrow of his alcoholism.  The powerful film quickly becomes a crowd favorite, though Homer was getting a beer and missed the film.  The final film is Burns' movie, a seemingly epic film that has him bringing in factory jobs from America to Mexico, filling the role of ET for some reason, and giving water to Judah Ben-Hur somehow.  Everyone hates the movie, booing (or in one case, 'boo-urns'ing) the film and Burns.

During judging, though, Burns was able to bribe both Krusty and the Mayor, and thus the two of them vote for Burns' film.  While Jay and Marge both vote for Barney's rather poorly titled "Pukeahontas", Homer is insistent on voting for "Man Getting Hit by Football".  With the judging in recess, Marge shows disgust towards Homer, while Jay comments that there must be more to life then guys getting hit in the groin by footballs (just before getting hit by one himself).  Homer decides to finally see the film, and agrees it to be the best of the festival, giving Barney the award and its prize: a lifetime supply of Duff beer.  The festival is a success, and Jay heads back to New York offering the Simpsons a chance to be on his show (which Bart quickly declines).  Marge notes that Burns had learned his lesson, though six months later an attempt to get his film an Oscar via bribing fails when it loses to George C. Scott's "Man Getting Hit by Football".

Quick Review
This episode is a controversial one, in that, well, its a crossover.  Now, its not the only crossover the show would do (see: Season 8's The Springfield Files featuring the X-Files crew or Season 22's Elementary School Musical featuring the cast of Glee), but unlike those other episodes, this episode features a crossover with The Critic, a show that was produced by Al Jean and Mike Reiss, showrunners of the Simpsons for Seasons 3 and 4 before leaving to work on The Critic.  Furthermore, its the only crossover that featured a mix between two animated comedies, which I think is the sticking point.  Series creator Matt Groening was not pleased with that, so it was reported, and left his name off the credits for this episode.  The Critic, funny as it was, lasted a total of two seasons, only one of which was on FOX, as the show never really caught on, so having a show that wasn't very popular crossover with the Simpsons at the time must've raised a few eyebrows as well.

Despite all of that, the episode is still very funny.  Wolfcastle's new film, McBain: Let's Get Silly, featuring lines such as "Do you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up?  That's the joke." was the best part of the episode, I believe, but many of the films or the productions thereof really gave the episode the meat of its comedy.  Say what you will about the crossover, but Jay Sherman fit right into the episode (even if most of his comedic failings from The Critic didn't transfer over), and Jon Lovitz again provides an excellent voice over.  Even if you're not a fan of the concept, the quality of the jokes and humor in this episode make it one of the best of the season regardless of whether the crossover enhanced or detracted from your experience.

Final Score: 10

Burns' Heir (S05, E18-099)

A typical scene during production of a Season 24 episode.

Plot Summary
A near death experience leaves Mr. Burns pondering about the future of his fortunes.  With no son (not until Season 8 anyway), and plans to bury Smithers alive with him, Burns has nobody to give his fortune to upon his passing.  He decides to have contest to determine an heir, inviting all of Springfield's young boys to try out.  At the tryouts, only Nelson gains any favor with Burns, while Bart, reading from a card Homer of all people wrote, provides the worst entry yet, forcing Burns to kick everyone out, literally doing so with Bart using a mechanical boot to do the kicking.  Angry, Bart separates from the family afterward and begins throwing rocks at the mansion.  Impressed with Bart's mischievous behavior, Burns declares Bart to be his heir.

After finishing up the legal matters at the Simpsons place, Burns portrays himself as lonely and sad, prompting Marge to suggest that Bart spend an evening with Burns.  Burns is able to win Bart over by letting the boy do whatever he wants, an attitude he tries to bring home.  When Homer gets mad at Bart for giving the end piece of some meatloaf to the dog, Bart runs off to Burns, and upon trying to retrieve him Burns counters by locking the door (or sending out a robotic Richard Simmons that goes haywire, whichever one you prefer).

Attempts to legally regain Bart prove worthless when Lionel Hutz is unable to disprove that Burns is Bart's biological father in court.  Homer and Marge hire a guy to kidnap and "deprogram" Bart, but instead brainwashes Hans Moleman.  Bart, meanwhile, begins to regret his choice to stay with Burns, until Burns shows him video of the Simpsons having completely gotten over Bart (which is actually just actors portraying Lisa, Marge and Homer somewhat poorly i.e. "B'oh!" and later "D - oh!").  Bart begins to accept that Burns has become his new father.

Later, at the plant, Burns decides it would be a fun time if he and Bart fire some employees.  After Burns sends Lenny into a seemingly bottomless pit, he has Bart try to do the same for Homer.  However, Bart finds that he can't fire Homer, and "fires" Burns instead, tricking him to fall into that same pit (with Smithers advising Burns to land on Lenny's carcass).  Back home, Homer tells Bart about the actors, as they spent time with the actual family for their one part, and also introduces his new brother Hans Moleman.

Quick Review
Burns' Heir is one of Season 5's better episode.  There are lot of classic moments, like the Mr. Kurns bit, or the confrontation at the mansion and the actors portraying the Simpsons.  It all makes for a very funny episode.

Final Score: 9.4