The Burns Cage (S27, E17-591)

Remember when Burns gave Castro the trillion-dollar bill?  Those were fun times...

Plot Summary
After Mr. Burns spurs Smithers' attempts at affection, the latter takes out his frustrations on Homer, Lenny and Carl, making them do menial tasks at work.  The three pick up on this and set up a social event for Smithers to find a boyfriend and let off their asses.  The ploy ultimately works - Smithers and the bartender Julio hook up.

Meanwhile, the elementary school is hosting a production of Casablanca, and Lisa wins the lead role of Ilsa.  Milhouse comes to believe that co-stars will inevitably fall in love and as such auditions for the role of Rick.  Being the only one to do so, Milhouse initially wins the role but from out of nowhere, a gruff, 40s-speaking kid named Jack comes along and takes the role right from Milhouse.  After Bart tells him that the role would default back to him should Jack no longer be able to act, Milhouse hires Jimbo and pals to beat Jack up.  However, Jack beats them up, but importantly Principal Skinner witnesses this and punishes Jack for his violence by giving the role back to Milhouse.  This upsets Lisa, as Milhouse is a terrible actor, but Marge gives Lisa the advice to make Milhouse think he's doing a good job in hopes he actually improves.  The night of the play, the advice seems to pay off as Milhouse performs the role well.  Afterward, however, its revealed Jack had disguised himself as Milhouse for the play, and it was him that was acting as Milhouse acting as Rick.  Lisa is impressed enough and walks off with the object of her enamor.

Though Smithers is initially happy with his relationship with Julio - enough so that he gains the fortitude to quit his job (and Mr. Burns), soon Smithers' years of servitude to Burns come back to haunt the relationship.  Smithers' Burns-specific quirks annoy Julio, which ultimately reveal to Smithers that, deep down, he still loves Burns and the two break up.  Meanwhile, Mr. Burns' business has gone to hell without Smithers' steady hand.  The two meet up to reconcile, and as Burns admits that Smithers' service has been "excellent", Smithers admits that's enough to get him back with Burns.

Quick Review
So, apparently, this episode has garnered national attention mostly because of the Smithers plotline (and some are stupid enough to claim Smithers is "coming out" in this episode even though its been implied or outright stated he's gay since nearly the beginning).  That attention focuses on how its cool that the show is tackling LGBT issues or whatever (and I'm not surprised media outlets are covering that angle, given how clickbaitey they've become).

That's fine and all, but I'm sure its possible, somehow, in some way, to write such a pandering episode and.... wait for it... make it funny.

The Smithers' storyline was dry, boring and - save for a few decent gags from Burns himself - absolutely dull.  The sidestory featuring - guess who - Season 27's darling Lisa! was slightly better and I liked the few moments in which Jack was a character.  That helped bring the episode over the 6 line, which is sad to say.  After the previous episode was such a pleasant surprise, this episode was nothing but terrible disappointment.

Final Score: 6.4

Homer Scissorhands (S22, E20-484)

In this scene, you see a man die inside.

Plot Summary
After Bart and Lisa accidentally get paint on a sleeping Patty's hair, Homer is forced to do something about it or get in trouble for letting it happen.  Homer cuts Patty's hair, and unwittingly makes it looks pretty good.  After Patty and Selma realize what's happened, Selma makes Homer cut her hair as well.  The two send out word of Homer's ability, and soon Homer becomes in demand for haircuts.  Homer reveals that, because he's lost his own hair he's grown a fascination with it, so much so that he's able to create fantastic cuts without even trying and so after learning how lucrative cutting women's hair could be, he opens up a hair salon.

However, Homer is forced to hear every woman talk all day long about their husbands or significant others, and the continued chatter starts driving Homer insane.  He can't even see other men in town without attaching the criticisms their wives have made about them.  He tries to retire, but Chief Wiggum won't let him when his wife wants her hair done for an upcoming policeman's ball.  He tries to suck at it, but his hands are just too good.  Seeing her husband going insane, Marge finally has enough.  At the policeman's ball, Homer and Marge show up with Marge showing off a spectacular haircut.  The women at the ball compliment Homer's latest, greatest work, but Homer reveals he didn't cut it at all: Marge's normal hairdresser Julio did, and so all the women across town go straight to him for their cuts now, relieving Homer from his misery.  Homer decides to thank Marge by giving her a haircut of her own.

While this is all happening, Milhouse reveals to Bart that he has a new perspective on life after finally being able to see the opening scenes of Finding Nemo, which had previously been restricted from him.  Realizing that if fish can die, he too can die at any moment so he decides to tell Lisa he loves her in a rather open fashion.  He does so in the cafeteria, but Lisa plainly rejects Milhouse.  However, a fifth grader named Taffy liked what Milhouse did and the two become a couple, which makes Lisa suspicious.  Unable to grasp the concept of a popular fifth grader going out with Milhouse, Lisa starts stalking the two on a date.  However, Lisa gets a bit lost in the process and ends up crashing the two's special moment.  Taffy takes it as a sign that Milhouse will always love Lisa somehow, and breaks up with him.  Milhouse becomes upset that Lisa not only won't hook up with him, but is now preventing him from hooking up with anybody else.  Desperate to cheer Milhouse up, Lisa kisses him and though she's as uncommitted as ever, she does admit to him that he does look cute in the moonlight.

Quick Review
Well, this episode is pretty boring for the most part.  Both stories didn't have much going for them, Milhouse's side story less so.  Homer's storyline has a few noteworthy moments, particularly his flashback and the scene at the bar with Moe, but it too was mostly unspectacular.

Final Score: 6.5

Flaming Moe (S22, E11-475)

For gathering the courage to try and kiss that thing, lets give applause to Waylon Smithers.

Not to be confused with the similarly titled Season 3 episode Flaming Moe's.

Plot Summary
Smithers is stunned to learn he's been left out of Mr. Burns' will.  Confronting Burns later, Smithers is told that because he's always been a follower, and has never been independent, Burns can't respect Smithers.  Torn by these revelations, Smithers tries to go to a bar for a drink.  However, a popular gay bar refuses him entry just from his looks.  Dejected further, Smithers goes to the bar across the street: Moe's.  As Smithers laments over a lack of a gay bar for regular guys, he notices that business is once again slow at Moe's, and comes up with an idea.  Smithers suggests to Moe that the two spruce the place up and turn into a gay bar.  Moe is initially hesitant, but given his only other customer at the moment is Barney, Moe decides to give it a try.

Once a lazy montage, the new bar is open for business, and Smithers is able to convince several gay men to come to it.  One of them, the school's music teacher Mr. Largo, finds a 'soulmate' there and the two decide to leave town for a bit.  To take his place at school, Superintendent Chalmers brings in a free spirited woman Calliope Juniper.  Principal Skinner eventually meets the woman and immediately falls in love.  Skinner calls in Bart for a favor: Calliope has a daughter named Melody, and he'd like Bart to take her someplace, and Skinner can chaperon Bart to meet Calliope.  Bart agrees to do so with some conditions, and Skinner's plan ultimately works like a charm, as the two go back to Calliope's place for the night.  However, Bart really can't stand Melody and before the rather obsessed Melody can get too close to him, Bart breaks up with her.  Calliope gets upset over this and decides to move out of town, but asks Skinner to come with her regardless of whether their relationship lasts for just one more day or a lifetime.  With that mindset, Skinner decides to go with them.

Meanwhile, Moe's new bar is work out pretty well, and Moe hopes it doesn't turn out like the other past, failed attempts at reimagining his bar.  As "Mo's" becomes popular, Smithers does receive the respect he desired from Burns.  However, Moe starts getting popular among his new patrons under the notion that Moe is also gay.  Moe picks up on this, but keeps up the charade to maintain his popularity.  Smithers doesn't like this, and on more than one occasion tries to get Moe to tell the truth about his preferences, but when patrons decide to let Moe run for a spot in the town council so that they can have a voice in government, Smithers reaches a boiling point.  Moe meets several groups out in public, but Smithers confronts Moe, and reveals to the truth to the stunned crowd.  Moe tries to defend himself, but Smithers forces Moe to prove his orientation... by kissing him.  Moe can't bring himself to do, and as he's likely running against a closeted gay Republican, he loses all of his support.  With nothing to lose (and nobody else around), Moe decides to kiss Smithers now, with no regrets.  Skinner also comes back, admitting that his relationship with Calliope lasted just one more day, though he's been gone for three months.

Quick Review
This was an episode that started off rather well, but fell apart at about the time where the Skinner subplot started up.  There was hardly anything about that side story that was even close to funny, and it brought the rest of the episode down.  The main plot also started to lose its steam as the episode shifted focus from Smithers to Moe, leaving it as one of the season's weaker episodes thus far.

Final Score: 6.7

Three Gays of the Condo (S14, E17-308)

A big fat party animal and a bunch of gay guys enjoying the dance.

Plot Summary
On family recreation Wednesday, Marge reveals a gigantic jigsaw puzzle for the family to complete, and it takes them an entire week of non-stop work to complete the puzzle.  The family thinks they've finished it, but its pointed out to them that a single piece has gone missing.  Each member checks various places of the house to find that final piece, when Homer stumbles upon an old chest labeled "Marge's Memory Chest".  Homer opens it to find a picture of Moe's Tavern on its grand opening 11 or so years ago which both Homer and Marge attended.  On the back of the picture, though, Marge wrote a scathing letter to Homer.  That night years ago, Homer drank so much he suffered from alcohol poisoning, and Marge at that point decides they're done.  Homer wonders why, then, did Marge stay with him, then he realizes that Marge was pregnant with Bart just two days later, and figures out that Marge only stayed with Homer for Bart's sake.  He becomes absolutely furious with Marge, and decides he can't stay in the house with her.

Looking around for a place to stay that isn't depressing, Homer sees a newspaper ad for a request for a roommate in a condo on a nice, well-kept street of Springfield.  There, he meets the roommates he's staying with, Grady and Julio, both of whom are gay.  Grady and Homer become quick friends, and Homer has no problem with what's going on (in contrast to the previous episode with a similar theme).  In the few instances Homer and Marge see one another, they only bicker.  Lisa suggests Marge apologize, and Bart suggests that Marge should fake it.  Marge goes out to the condo, having hired Weird Al Yankovich to sing a song to have Homer give Marge another shot, and they agree to a date.

Homer is panicking over it, when Grady invites Homer to have a few Margaritas.  He indulges in them a bit too much, though, and misses the date, arriving just in time for Marge to storm out on him, the marriage seemingly at its end.  Homer slinks back to the apartment, where Grady decides to make his move on Homer, but Homer freaks out and decides, yeah, that's enough of that.  Homer goes to Moe's, where he starts to make the connection that alcohol is the cause of his problems, but Moe decides, yeah, that's enough of that, and forces enough beer down Homer to give him alcohol poisoning.  At the hospital, Dr. Hibbert recalls Homer's first case of alcohol poisoning, and shows a tape of it when Homer implies it ruined his marriage.  In that tape, Marge appears at Homer's bedside and tells him that though there'll be difficulties such as this, she still sees Homer as a genuinely good person and she's more than willing to stay with him.  Homer's faith in Marge is renewed, and present-day Marge peeks in on this just in time for the two to make up and remain together.

Quick Review
This ends up being an enjoyable episode.  The overall plot line wasn't bad, and there were a decent amount of jokes to keep things going strong.  Weird Al's appearance wasn't as bad as what I was expecting, and the scenes with Grady and Julio were okay as well.  Its about as good as I can expect from this season.

Final Score: 8.0