Singin' in the Lane (S29, E07-625)

Recap: Homer and Moe start up a new version of the Pin Pals bowling team, who ultimately have to try and defeat a team comprised of manipulative hedge-fund douchebags.

Review: Well, first off, its an inoffensive episode, so that's a plus.  Like the previous episode, it tries to ride on the success of a classic episode, in this case Team Homer.  Unlike the previous episode, it doesn't make every attempt to ruin or otherwise dismantle Team Homer's supposed legacy, using the Pin Pals only to set up a bowling storyline.

The episode is paced oddly.  As Team Homer already did a "they play against teams comprised of Springfield citizens", this episode felt the need to do it again to progress the plot but rushed through it so that it wasn't just a complete retread.  The main storyline focuses on their new opponent, the hedge fund team who hustle Moe, befriend Bart and irk Lisa just enough to make her a subtle hero yet again.  The episode doesn't really do a good job at setting these plotlines up; Bart and Lisa's plotlines feel rushed and the plot with Moe attempts to take a sideturn at the end which just falls flat.

Oh, and the jokes were half okay and half not that great.  Most of the misses involve the hedge fund team, they just weren't that funny.  The episode ends up okay, but it definitely could've been better with what it tried to do.

Final Score: 6.8

Character Spotlight: Barney Gumble

Note: This was written before the Season 25 episode Diggs.  Any information regarding Barney from that point on is not covered here.

Character: Barney Gumble, voiced by Dan Castellaneta

First Episode: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (S01, E01-001)

Occupation: Barfly, normally has no job, but still finds a way to get money to waste at Moe's bar

General Demeanor
Of the frequent visitors of Moe's Tavern, Barney has typically been the most drunk of the bunch, much more so than even his best friend Homer.  Whether he's slurring his speech, ranting about nonsense, or emitting his famous belch, Barney is almost always drunk, and almost always too drunk at that.

In the rare instances Barney is actually sober, the man is quite competent, able to perform tough physical and mental demands when he's been off the booze for any amount of time.  Of course, when Barney eventually relapses, he relapses pretty hard.

Otherwise, Barney is a background character in scenes at the bar, often taking a backseat to Homer, Moe and even Lenny and Carl.  This is especially true in newer episodes, where Barney is basically non-existent save for a few appearances over this 13 year span to now.

Key Character Moments
The Rise of the Simpsons
Barney doesn't have many key moments here, though in his aforementioned debut, Barney is depicted with Simpsons-yellow hair and a different kind of belch, though these both become standardized to brown hair and loud respectively later on.  Barney also has a minor role in The Way We Was, as Homer's high school friend.  Neither of them were good students at the time.  Barney was also Selma's date in Principal Charming, when Selma was willing to settle until she learned Patty dumped Principal Skinner, leaving Barney to his booze again.

The Golden Age of the Simpsons
A bit more of Barney's character is revealed in Homer Alone, when Homer asks Barney to help him keep track of Maggie.  Barney mistakes Maggie for Bart and has an obsession with making omelets after Maggie goes missing.

Mr. Plow is the first episode to really give Barney's character attention.  Its established that Barney was a top student ready to go to college until Homer introduced him to beer, instantly wrecking his career prospects, as well as his life.  Barney, in this episode, is having trouble making ends meet when he gets an inspirational speech from Homer - who has established himself as Mr. Plow - to go out there and get things done.  Barney does just that, by setting up a rival plow business called Plow King which apparently destroys the competition (i.e. Homer).  Jealous of Barney and his success, Homer tricks Barney into plowing along a mountainside, but when Homer learns Barney was caught in an avalanche, Homer rushes out to save his friend, and the two promise to work together, though mother nature effectively ends both of their plowing businesses.

The Season 5 flashback episode Homer's Barbershop Quartet revealed Barney is an excellent singer, especially for barbershop groups.  With his voice replacing the god-awful voice of Chief Wiggum, "The Be Sharps" become a big hit for a rather short period of time.  Then Barney gets involved with a Yoko Ono-type woman, tries to 'revolutionize' barbershop, and things fall apart.

Later in the season, in Deep Space Homer, Barney's competency when sober is in full display when he and Homer are in the running to be NASA's "average Joe" astronaut.  Once sobered up, Barney becomes a top-tier athlete and basically has the job in the bag, but when he takes a sip of some champagne (unaware that its non-alcoholic), Barney blurts out "It begins!" before stealing the bottle and a jetpack on a supposed drunken stupor.

In Season 6, Barney is one of many people to submit a movie in A Star is Burns.  His short film brings attention to the hell that is his alcoholism, which moves the crowd and the judges who Burns didn't buy out.  As a reward for this cry to help him escape the ravages of alcohol, Barney is given a lifetime supply of Duff beer, which goes right into his veins.

Barney is one of the suspects in Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part 1), angered when Burns' oil rig forces Moe's Tavern to close down.  While Part 2 doesn't do anything specific to clear Barney's name, its eventually learned Maggie shot Burns so he was innocent anyway.

The Fall of the Simpsons
In Season 9's premiere The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson, Barney is forced into being the designated driver.  Worse yet, its on the same night he wins a night with Duffman to celebrate his love of Duff.  Unlike past instances where Barney does okay when sober, this experience drives Barney crazy, leaving him to take Homer's car all the way to New York over the course of a few months.

Later in the season, in Simpson Tide, Barney joins the Naval Reserve alongside Homer, Moe and Apu, and is one of the crew members stuck in a renegade submarine commanded by Homer.  His similarly looking and sounding mother is with him on said sub.

From here, Barney's relevance to the show starts to fade.  He doesn't get anything dedicated to him again until Season 11's Days of Wine and D'oh'ses, when Barney finally realizes just how drunk he's been and decides to finally sober up, taking up Moe's joke gift of helicopter lessons.  Despite some struggles, including a spat with a possibly jealous Homer, Barney is able to stay the course, though he becomes addicted to espressos instead, something Moe just happens to have started to serve.

For some time after that episode, Barney seldom appears in the bar, and when he does he is in a sober state, drinking espresso or whatever instead of being a boozehound.

Zombie Simpsons
So that whole "Barney is sober" bit doesn't last that long because, well, Barney as a character has become useless.  Season 14's I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can is the first episode to indicate Barney relapsing back into alcoholism.

In Season 16's She Used to be My Girl, its learned that Barney's girlfriend in high school is the now nationally famous reporter Chloe Talbot.  Its revealed via flashback that Chloe left Barney to go to journalism school, realizing that the drunken Barney was not worth staying in Springfield for.  However, at episode's end, its Barney and his amateur helicopter skills that saves Chloe's life and the two have pity sex right afterwards.

Zombie Simpsons HD
Barney appears in Season 21's Million Dollar Maybe to help Homer keep his million-dollar lottery ticket a secret from Marge given the circumstances of him acquiring it.  Barney 'claims' the money for Homer, then gives Homer the ingenious idea of buying good stuff, but leaving it out in the open for him and his family to 'claim'. 

Besides that, other than a minor appearance in Season 23, Barney hasn't seen much action.

Must Watch Episodes That Focus on Barney Gumble
Mr. Plow
Homer's Barbershop Quartet
Deep Space Homer
A Star is Burns

Replaceable You (S23, E04-490)

Look at her expression, she was gunning for his job all along.

Plot Summary
A science fair is coming up, and Bart doesn't have anything good lined up.  With Lisa mocking Bart about it, Bart sees Martin left hanging on a tree branch.  He frees Martin then asks to team up with him for the science fair, which Martin agrees to do conditionally.  After some brainstorming, the two decide to make a robotic baby seal, whose cuteness is irresistible.  However, Martin builds it in a way where a single crossed wire turns the lovable toy into a vicious, murderous beast.  Even so, the two enter it into the fair, and they end up winning first prize.  For some reason, they go to the retirement home to celebrate, and the baby seal ends up cheering up a depressed Jasper, and an otherwise upset Lisa realizes just how much of a positive impact Bart has made.

Meanwhile, Homer gets an assistant at work for no apparent reason.  Homer takes the woman, Roz, through the ropes, then tries to have her cover for him as he sneaks out to watch a movie with Barney.  When returning home, though, Homer is greeting by Mr. Burns, who was informed of Homer's departure, and demotes Homer.  Homer realizes that it was Roz who ratted him out, especially since he's her assistant now, and she's treating him like absolute dirt.  Flanders talks to Homer about it, and Flanders figures out that its the same Roz he met some time ago in a bible study, and reveals to Homer Roz's biggest weakness: she freaks out if she's hugged.  A short time later, Mr. Burns plans on giving Roz the "employee of the millennium" award, but Homer steps in and urges Burns to hug Roz.  Burns obliges, and as expected Roz freaks out and throws Burns aside.  Burns quickly fires Roz, and the status quo is returned.

Other seniors take a liking to the seal, and ask Bart and Martin to make more.  The newfound happiness of seniors is dismal news for the funeral industry, who are losing money now that the elderly have reasons to live.  They learn of the crossed wire flaw, though, and find a way to make the seals vicious.  This move subsequently results in the death of Mrs. Glick, and the robot seals are confiscated by the police.  Bart and Martin realize what's happened, but decide to seek further help.  They get it from Professor Frink, and with a small team of nerds are able to help the seals escape from jail while also reprogramming them to never be malicious again.  The seniors are reunited with their cute toys which is reason to celebrate, but its revealed the seals still have vicious tendencies which is reason for the funeral industry to celebrate, which is reason for Mrs. Glick and Jesus to celebrate in heaven as I guess they'll be getting people to join them real soon.

Quick Review
This episode starts off okay with the science fair plot and the humor is decent throughout.  The plot with Homer and Roz has some pretty decent moments but wasn't all that great.  The episode ends on a dumb note with the dance montage including the rather pointless death of a D-list character.  That sequence really detracts from the episode as bits featuring Chief Wiggum and Dr. Nick really did their best to boost the humor of the episode but not by enough.

Final Score: 6.9

Million Dollar Maybe (S21, E11-452)

Lenny can be a real jerk when Homer imagines him being a jerk.

Plot Summary
Homer and Marge prepare a routine for a wedding the next night.  The day of, Homer opens up a fortune cookie at work which tells him that today is his lucky day.  This gets proven when Homer slips but into the candy machine where tons of candy falls onto him.  Driving from work, Homer sees that the Kwik-E-Mart is selling tickets for a million dollar lotto.  Feeling lucky, Homer goes in to buy a ticket, but the long is extremely long.  As Marge is forced to do the routine by her self, embarrassing herself in the process, Homer finally is able to buy the ticket and tries to speed his way to the wedding, but crashes his car in the process.  Homer wakes up the next day in the hospital, where Marge is happy Homer is okay.  On the news, its revealed that last night's lottery winner has not come forward and the numbers are revealed once more.  Homer finds out those are his numbers and that he's won a million dollars.  However, Marge notes the numbers were drawn at the precise moment she was angry at Homer for missing the routine.  Homer realizes that if he were to claim the million, Marge would know he was late to the wedding because of the ticket, and so decides to keep it a secret for now.

Meanwhile, Lisa visits the retirement home to find their TV no longer works thanks to the advent of Digital TV.  Lisa agrees to buy them a converter, but at the store she sees the brand new Nintendo Wii uh I mean Funtendo Zii, and decides to buy that instead, hoping the exercise the seniors get from the games will make up for the loss of TV.  Lisa's gambit eventually pays off, and the seniors are as active - and whiny - as ever before.  The next time Lisa visits, she finds out the Zii has broken as the home's caretakers would much rather have the seniors be zombies watching the white noise of the TV, to make their jobs bearable.  Lisa laments the situation and sadly walks away.

Homer enlists Barney to claim the prize for him, though taxes instantly take out a third of that million.  Still, good friend Barney gives Homer his money, but reminds Homer that he can't just spend it everywhere or Marge will figure out why he didn't show up to the wedding.  The two note that the washing machine is broken, but Marge knows the family can't pony up the $400 to pay for it.  Barney gives Homer the idea to buy things for the family, but present it to them as though they had simply found it themselves.  Homer gives it a try by placing a new washing machine within some bushes at the park, and it works.  Soon, Homer secretly gets his family all sorts of things.  However, his plans come to a halt when Bart catches him sneaking money from the tree he had hidden the money in.

Bart convinces Homer to spend the money more wastefully, and the two blow some cash in crazy ways.  Homer tries to get Bart to stop being spoiled, but Bart blackmails Homer by stating that if Homer doesn't do everything Bart tells him to, he'll tell Marge everything.  Homer is forced to obey Bart's whims, but that doesn't last very long either, and decides he'll just tell Marge himself.  He gets Marge in a hot air balloon and tells her the truth.  Marge is angry Homer skipped out but upon learning he won the money she couldn't care less about the wedding.  However, thanks to taxes, all the stuff he bought for the family, Bart, and being unaware one can simply rent a balloon, Homer has since spent all of the winnings, but shows Marge that with the last of the money he was able to set up a cherry blossom garden shaped like Marge.  Marge forgives Homer and the two practice their routine one more time as the balloon passes over another cherry blossom garden shaped like Homer's relief.

Quick Review
This was another decent episode.  Of note, this is the first of what will be several mentions of the "Funtendo Zii", a parody name that makes me cringe every time its mentioned.  Lisa's sidestory, as a whole, was pretty boring and not much humor was gained from it.  The main story with Homer has several good moments to save it from mediocrity, but just barely.

Final Score: 7.0

She Used to Be My Girl (S16, E04-339)

For Homer, cat fights are only fun if they're about him.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons are watching the news, where Mayor Quimby is dodging yet another adultery controversy.  He's able to placate the local media, however a national media reporter remains to hound Quimby.  Marge recognizes her as Chloe Talbot, a girl she knew in high school.  Later, Marge and Lisa come across Chloe on the street and, despite Chloe's demeanor against Springfield in general, Marge invites her to dinner.  At dinner, Marge becomes jealous when Homer and especially Lisa begin to adore Chloe and her worldwide exploits.  Chloe's exciting life leaves Marge feeling rather inadequate about hers.

Lisa inquires as to how Marge knows Chloe, and explains that in high school the two of them were both into journalism, helping uncover a cafeteria scandal.  They both thought about leaving Springfield to attend a journalism school, but they would've needed to dump their sweethearts to do so.  For Chloe, whose boyfriend was Barney, the choice was rather easy.  Marge would've followed, but soon after she became pregnant with Bart and stayed put.

Lisa continues to spend lots of time with Chloe, and with her and Homer still fawning over Chloe's success, Marge's jealously starts to hit a peak.  Chloe takes Lisa home late one night, offering Lisa to come with her to a women's convention the next day.  However, as they return to the Simpson house, Marge - who drank half a glass of wine - confronts Chloe and the two get into a cat fight in front of Lisa.

Afterwards, Marge prohibits Lisa from going to the convention with Chloe, but with Bart's help Lisa sneaks away anyway.  Lisa finds and sneaks her way into the trunk of Chloe's car, but on the drive Chloe is told from some editor to go to an erupting Mount Springfield to cover the breaking news.  Lisa pops out of the trunk, and the mountain erupts, surrounding the two in hot lava.  Homer and Marge drive to Capitol City where the convention is happening, but can't find Lisa or Chloe.  They see on a nearby TV, though, that Chloe is covering the eruption with Lisa surrounded by lava.  The two quickly drive to the mountain, but are stopped by police.  As Homer tries to convince them to let them through, Marge takes command of the wheel and bursts through.  She finds Lisa and Chloe hanging on for dear life in a river of molten magma.  Using a hidden, motherly strength, Marge leaps into action and is able to save Lisa from the magma.  Chloe looks done for, but she, too, is saved at the last minute by a sober-again Barney in his helicopter (you remember, right?), and the old couple is reunited, at least for 30 minutes of pity sex.

Marge's heroism is noted on the news, and Marge comes to terms with her life.  Though its not as celebrated as Chloe's having three kids and a loving husband is good enough as well.  Besides, Marge as a journalist wouldn't of been all great either, covering things like the Miracle on Ice never happening and such.

Quick Review
This episode starts off slowly and picks up a bit near the end.  Chloe, and the related Sex in the City references, didn't have anything going for them in terms of comedy (nor were her interactions with other reporters), and with no unrelated subplot to salvage things, the few Marge-related laughs that were around barely kept this episode from being truly terrible.

Final Score: 6.3

The Blunder Years (S13, E05-274)

Its really nice of Homer and Marge to let Moe go on like this.

Plot Summary
Marge is impressed with a new paper towel and its superior absorption ability.  She is impressed so much, she becomes enamored with the towel's advertising icon: Burly.  Homer takes note of this and teams up with Bart and Barney to fool Marge into thinking Burly's model is coming over for dinner.  Marge is hurt (emotionally) by the prank, so Homer decides to make it up to her by taking her out to dinner and a show.  As Marge forgives Homer for what she admits was a pretty good prank, a hypnotism show begins.  The hypnotist gets off to a slow start, what with people like Smithers telling the guy his father died when he was a baby and all.  Still, the hypnotist gets a willing participant in Homer.  He has Homer recall a memory from when he was 12, but doing so causes Homer to scream relentlessly even after being snapped out of hypnosis.  The family takes Homer home, but he still can't stop screaming.

The next day, Lenny and Carl bring Homer back from work, as his screaming has ruined both nap time and quiet time.  Carl suggests that Homer might have awakened a previously repressed memory, so they all get to unveiling Homer's memory.

Homer, 12 years old, went hiking with, coincidentally enough, Lenny and Carl.  Moe even joined the three, and in the present day he joins everyone with telling the story.  The four go camping one night, and talk about the future, including the nuclear plant, going full blast somewhat nearby.  The next morning, the four go to the quarry, but its looking rather shallow and muddy.  Homer is the only one who actually dives in, and hurts himself falling into the shallow, muddy water.  Present day, Moe believes this is why Homer is screaming, but Homer continues recalling the memory.  As young Homer recovers from his fall - and his friends leaving the scene - he investigates why the quarry is so shallow, and finds that the inlet pipe is clogged.  He unclogs it, releasing a surge of water.  When Homer recovers, he finds that a corpse has been thrown out and fallen ontop of Homer, just rotting and decaying in front of him.  The mystery behind Homer's trauma is solved, but it opens up a new mystery: why was there a corpse in the quarry in the first place?

Bart proclaims this a Simpson mystery, leaving Lenny, Carl and a distraught Moe out of it.  The family goes to the quarry under the presumption that because Homer never told anybody about the body it would still be there.  Chief Wiggum joins in the search, and with the help of several rolls of Burly paper towels, the quarry is drained.  The body is now just a decayed skeleton, so the Chief and the family go inside the pipe to learn where it leads.  They end up in Mr. Burns' office at the plant, where Burns realizes that, at long last, the truth must be known.

The body is that of Waylon Smithers Sr., the father of the current Smithers.  Burns insists he didn't kill Smithers Sr., and has a film that will prove his innocence.  In the film, the core is about to undergo a meltdown, but Smithers Sr. sacrifices his life to stop it and save the town, leaving his infant son Smithers Jr. in Burns' arms.  As cover ups were all the rage at the time, Burns tossed Smithers Sr.'s corpse into his corpse hatch.  Smithers Jr. overhears this story and is at least glad to know that his father died a hero.  Hopefully, the story Burns told young Waylon about his father being killed by a group of Amazon women didn't affect Jr. in any notable way.  The Simpsons go home, Homer taking Smithers Sr.'s skull as a memento for some reason, and Homer and Marge humor Moe, who claims to have found key clues in the mystery that had already been solved.

Quick Review
This was a pretty good episode.  The scenes involving Marge's obsession with Burly early on were great, an excellent way to start the episode.  Once the plot focused on Homer's trauma and the murder mystery, the laughs died down a bit but characters like Moe provided enough entertainment to keep the episode from falling apart.

Final Score: 8.1

Homer the Moe (S13, E03-272)

Yep, being a bartender must be fun made out of fun.

Plot Summary
Bart is digging a hole for some reason, and Chinese spies are starting to suspect Bart is trying to dig his way to China.  That's the lame story Homer is trying to tell at the bar, which frustrates poor Moe.  Tired of Homer's stupidity, Barney's current sobriety, and whatever annoying things Lenny and Carl do, Moe has gotten worn out on bartending.  He decides to go back to his old bartending school, Swigmore University, and has Homer tend to his bar in the meantime.

As Homer garners the praise of Barney, Lenny and Carl for his carefree style of bartending, Moe returns to Swigmore and meets with his old professor.  Moe is informed that the reason behind his fatigue is that his bar is, as Moe put it, a craphole, and that remodeling the bar could reinvigorate him.  Just like that, Moe returns to Springfield and begins sprucing up the bar with the help of some ultra hipster designer named Formico.  Formico transforms the bar into one full of post-modern decor and the bar is renamed to simply "m".  Homer and his bar mates give the new bar a try but its just too weird for them.  Homer confronts Moe and tries to get him to change it back, but Moe instead has him thrown out.

Homer, still upset at Moe, decides to build a tavern in his own garage, forcing his family to help refresh him and his bar mates.  Meanwhile, Moe has trouble getting along with his new patrons, as their snobby, hipster demeanors doesn't mesh well with Moe at all.  The ghost of his now late professor somewhat mocks Moe by telling him that even though the bar has been spruced up, Moe has cost himself his regulars, and the tip jar is still as empty as ever.  Moe regrets what he's done and goes to make amends with Homer and the others, but overhears them enjoying themselves at Homer's house and investigates.

Moe finds them at Homer's new bar enjoying a live performance from R.E.M. (whom Homer had duped into playing there), though Homer avoided legal troubles by proclaiming it as a "Hunter's Club" instead.  Moe, now mad at Homer, points out that hunting clubs must go hunting regularly and Homer, still mad at Moe, does just that.  Homer goes out to hunt a turkey.  Lisa tries to stop him, but Homer won't listen.  Moe and Lisa meet up and the two agree to stop Homer from shooting a turkey.  They do so, but Homer accidentally shoots Moe in the leg as a result.  Afterward, Homer and Moe make up, Moe's bar returns to normal thanks to the quick handiwork of professional contractors, and Moe and the Simpsons as well as R.E.M. have some kind of tofu-gluten slop shaped as a turkey to appease Lisa and the alternate rock group.

Quick Review
This episode has its moments.  Moe in episodes where he's the focus usually works out pretty well, and this episode, mostly, is no exception.  I've heard people bring up similarity between this and the Season 3 episode Flaming Moe's, but other than the fact that Moe's bar gets popular, there's hardly any similarities at all.

Unfortunately, what was a pretty good episode gets dragged down with the appearance of R.E.M.  Their lines weren't funny at all, and the scene where Homer is jamming to a song of theirs was the low point of the episode for me, as is the line "that's not the R.E.M. way".  They return for the episode's conclusion but they're hardly any better there (I would say 'funnier' but that would imply there was something involving them that was funny in the first place).  They bring down this episode pretty hard which is a shame because the episode really didn't need them at all in the first place.

Final Score: 7.0

Days of Wine and D'oh'ses (S11, E18-244)

Marge has really let herself go, letting Barney do all of that.

Plot Summary
At Moe's one day, Barney is sad because nobody remembered his birthday last week.  On the contrary, Homer threw a big party for Barney at his house, but Barney doesn't remember it.  Moe shows a tape of the party, which displays a really drunken Barney making a fool of himself.  On top of that, Moe and the others are given Barney joke presents, like helicopter lessons even though one would need to be sober to operate a helicopter.  Tired of being ridiculed and mocked for being the drunk, Barney declares that he'll stop drinking and that he'll take those helicopter lessons.

Barney enlists Homer's help to sober up, and Homer takes Barney to an AA meeting to that end.  After being sober for some time, Barney does take those helicopter lessons and gets the basics down.  He takes Homer for a ride, but during the ride Homer takes an implication from Barney that he's ready to move on from life and, as Homer believes, move on from him and his bar mates.  The two get in a little spat, and the two depart less friendly than before, acting cold to one another from there on.

Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa decide to enter in a photo contest, where the winning photo gets put on the phone book and the winner gets a bike-shaped 'mystery prize'.  The two find an old yet working camera in the closet, and get to work.  They try to set up a perfect picture, but either it never works, or the one time it does Nelson gets the picture before they do.  They try their luck out in the woods, but Bart disposes of a still-hot flash bulb, which ignites the grass it lays on and sparks a fire.

Homer and Barney, during another spat, spot the fire, and Homer quickly turns to Barney to rescue them via a helicopter.  Barney tries, but his nerves are shattered, and he's forced to land on a nearby bridge.  The action causes a beer truck to tip over, and the unnerved Barney gets tempted to drink away.  Homer, though, grabs the beer from Barney and drinks it all, as Barney needs to be sober to save his kids.  Barney appreciates Homer's "sacrifice", and regains enough resolves to go save Bart and Lisa.  Bart gets a picture of the woods on fire from the sky, and he and Lisa believe they have a winner.

The phone book comes in, and Bart and Lisa learn they've won, but the photo book features a picture of the two as naked babies sitting on the toiler.  It seems that photo was in the roll of film in the old camera.  Still, they win their bike as they sent in the photo.  Meanwhile, Barney is happy not just to be sober, but to still be friends with Homer.  The two enjoy a mocha latte, but Barney becomes rather addicted to that, much to the planned satisfaction of Moe, who now operates a mocha latte stand as well.

Quick Review
This episode features another large change: Barney becoming sober, and remaining sober for several seasons to come.  Thinking about it, I had realized that Barney's presence in the show had all but vanished the past few seasons.  I don't think he's been in anything significant since The City of New York vs Homer Simpson, and that episode was just before Mike Scully began his tenure as showrunner.  So the current writing staff had probably exhausted Barney's potential, and decided to take him in strange new directions.  Of course, there's nothing really funny about sober Barney, so the few times he appears sober he doesn't really add much, and he becomes drunk again several seasons from now.  Still, this change is one I don't actually hate.  For one, Barney doesn't die, so there's that.

Despite the change of Barney's character, the episode itself is still pretty good.  The photo subplot is a bit lacking, but it ties into the main plot well enough, and the main plot had enough jokes and humor that worked to carry the episode.  Its refreshing to an episode like this after the string of episodes I've watched up to this point, regardless of the role it plays in ruining a beloved character for several seasons to come.

Final Score: 8.2

Simpson Tide (S09, E19-197)

Oh yeah, woo, down with capitalism, yeah!  Whooo!

Plot Summary
Homer is fired for yet another act of gross incompetence, his "its my first day" excuse failing to work.  Afterward, Homer sees an ad for the Naval Reserve.  Seeing a bunch of guys do nothing but drink beer and relax even during their one weekend of work a month, Homer decides its the life for him and enlists.  Barney decides to join too upon learning his friend Homer is going, Moe enlists after hearing his two best customers are going, and Apu enlists for the hell of it.  After a short period of boot camp, Homer becomes a member of the Naval Reserve.

Meanwhile, Milhouse somehow is able to start a trend by wearing an earring on his left ear.  Bart decides to go with the trend and gets one himself, but so does everyone else at school.  Further, Homer doesn't like Bart having an earring, and chides him for it.

Some time later, the Naval Reserve is going to have their annual war games.  Homer's previous 'experience' at the nuclear plant puts him into a nuclear submarine.  Just before he goes, Homer confiscates Bart's earring.

The captain of the submarine takes a liking to Homer and, perhaps because of ocean madness, makes Homer the 2nd in command.  The captain gets called out to clean out a torpedo tube, leaving Homer in charge temporarily.  Just then, the submarine is attacked by an enemy, forcing Homer to fire a torpedo at it.  However, the tube containing the captain is launched, leaving Homer in charge permanently.  The attack from the enemy leaves the sub without any navigation.  Homer attempts to take the sub home, but messes up a turn and somehow leads the sub into Russian waters.

Homer is branded a traitor for his actions, and Russia decides to out itself as still being the Soviet Union, creating nuclear panic.  Homer's sub is eventually found and attacked.  After Homer uses Bart's earring to plug a hole in the sub, he has the sub surface so he can face his attackers.  After using the "its my first day" excuse again, Homer is sent home for discipline.  However, as each member of the disciplinary committee is under investigation of their own, Homer is simply dishonorably discharged.  Homer thanks Bart for the earring, but now has to refuse a multitude of other requests from Bart.

Quick Review
This is a fairly good episode, having Homer sign up for something advertised as for the lazy and drunk, and the supposed return of the Soviet Union was good for a few chuckles as well.  The tiny subplot featuring Bart's earring that merged into the main plot wasn't much of a laugh, though, and though I can't recall whether this episode is the first instance of the series doing it, the dreaded collar-pulling gag makes an appearance, a gag that defines the Scully-era Simpsons rather painfully.

Final Score: 8.2

Dumbbell Indemnity (S09, E16-194)

"Must... kill... Moe... wheeeeeee!"

Plot Summary
Homer goes to Moe's after an unfortunate incident with the water heater.  As Homer praises Marge for dealing with all of his nonsense, Moe gets upset, having not gone on a date in years.  Homer realizes Moe's plight and decides to take him to a different bar to find a date, but Moe isn't so good with the ladies and botches his attempts.  As the two leave the bar, a flower girl by the name of Renee offers Moe a flower, and as the two talk, Moe is able to get her to go on a date with him (though she admits later it was initially out of pity).  The date is successful enough for the two to go on more dates, as Renee has taken a liking to Moe somehow.

Moe's extravagant spending on these dates, though, comes to an end when he runs out of money.  Believing that Renee has only stayed with him because of his money, Moe desperately tries to come up with a way to get more.  Moe comes up with a plan to have Homer steal his car and wreck it so he can collect $5000 in insurance, getting Homer to go along with it as a favor.  Moe also has a perfect alibi: he's going to a police charity event on board a yacht so there won't even be any police to catch Homer or even know he stole it.

The event starts, and Homer 'steals' the car (though he has to stop Snake from stealing it, a move he quickly regrets).  He goes to the railroad tracks to have the 10:15 train wreck it, but is sidetracked by a drive-in theatre showing of Hail to the Chimp, and drives in to watch that.  Homer falls asleep during the movie, and misses the train.  Desperate to find a new way to wreck the car, Homer decides to run it off a cliff and into a body of water, however he does so right near where the police yacht is and after failing to bail correctly, Homer goes in with the car.  Though he is able to escape and surface, Homer is arrested for grand theft auto with Moe a witness to what's happened.

Moe does get $5000 for the car, but Homer pleads with Moe to get him out.  Moe can't change his story or he'll be put in jail as well.  Moe finally decides to spend the money on Homer's bail, but before he does Renee shows him a travel agency advertising a trip to Hawaii.  With pleasing Renee his top priority, Moe decides to buy tickets to Hawaii instead of bailing Homer out.

Upon realizing Moe isn't going to bail him, and after an exercise program, Homer is able to find a way to escape, and does so with the intent of killing Moe.  Meanwhile, Moe is haunted by not bailing out Homer, and his guilt overcomes him.  He tells Renee everything that's happened.  Renee is shocked, of course, but is willing to forgive as Moe tries to set things right.  However, Moe then starts coming up with a plan involving corpses and burning down the bar, and Renee is done with him, leaving as soon as she can.  Moe accidentally sets the bar on fire afterwards, just as Homer arrives to kill him.  The struggle between the two does not last long as they both suffocate from the smoke.  Just then, Barney emerges from the bathroom, and as he sees the bar on fire, he acts: he takes two kegs of beer to safety, then goes back in for Moe and Homer along with more beer before passing out.  Homer and Moe come to and make amends.  With Moe's bar burning up, Homer decides to help out his friend: by relocating Moe's to Homer's house.

Quick Review
This episode starts off pretty slow but as Moe starts in on his crazy schemes the comedy starts to pick up.  Apparently, Hank Azaria (Moe's voice actor) and Helen Hunt (who voiced Renee) were actually dating in real life and even married some time later, but were divorced a year afterwards.  Just... wanted to bring that up, I guess.

Final Score: 8.4

The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson (S09, E01-179)

For a typical New York day, Homer sure found it pretty infuriating.

Plot Summary
As over 90% of traffic accidents in Springfield involve the six regular patrons of Moe's Tavern, Moe is forced to implement a designated driver program.  Much to his horror, Barney is chosen as the designated driver for the night, which makes for bad timing as its the same night Duffman (in his first appearance) comes in celebrate Barney's love of Duff.  Not being able to partake in that, combined with the usual harshness of sobriety, leaves Barney jaded and ill of mind when he drops everyone off in Homer's car.  A drunken Homer tells Barney to bring back his car the next day, but the delirious Barney drives off and disappears.

Two months later, Barney reappears in the trunk of limo that drops him off at Moe's.  Homer angrily confronts Barney, but Barney barely remembers anything from the past two months.  That night, he gets a letter from the city of New York.  Turns out, Homer's car is currently parked in Manhattan illegally, and Homer has 72 hours to move it or lose it for good.  The news depresses Homer, as he hates New York.  His family inquires, and Homer reveals that he had been in New York once before, a terrible time in his life when for the short time he was there he was repeatedly stolen from, had garbage dumped on him, was chased by a pimp, and then had to deal with CHUDs.  Still, the family doesn't feel that sorry for Homer, and with Bart willing to pay the $9 for bus fare to New York, everyone but Homer is eager to go, and thus Homer is forced to deal with the city he hates once more.

There, the family insists on spending the day touring New York while Homer retrieves his car.  Homer finds the car parked at the World Trade Center (the episode having been produced before 9/11 obviously), with tickets overflowing on the windshield and a parking boot attached to the front wheel.  He calls a number on the boot to have a parking officer come to remove the boot, but he doesn't know when he'll arrive and is forced to wait by the car.  With people giving him change under the mistaken assumption he's a bum, Homer eventually gets hungry, but the only thing close enough for him to reach is a stand for Klauh Karesh, which is... something, anyway.  Washing it down with can after can of crab juice (as Homer finds Mountain Dew disgusting), Homer soon finds himself needing to use the bathroom.  However, the nearest tower has just one bathroom 100+ floors up.  Unable to hold it in any longer, Homer goes to that bathroom, then to the other tower's bathroom as the first one was out of order.  While Homer is relieving himself, the parking officer arrives with the worst of timing.  He leaves before Homer can get back, have written another ticket for failing to remain by the car.

With sundown nearing, Homer has had enough of New York, and decides to drive away with the boot still intact, completely pushing the car to its limits in doing so.  Going at a snail's pace, Homer comes across a construction site, and is able to get a jackhammer to remove the boot, though he accidentally causes far more damage to the car in the process, including shattering his windshield.

The rest of the family concludes their wonderful time in New York, which included stops in Chinatown, Mad Magazine HQ (for Bart), and a Broadway musical, wrapping up with a carriage ride in Central Park.  Homer busts in as angry as can be in his car, driving in front of the carriage and hastily forcing his family into the car.  The family reflects on their time in New York fondly, as Lisa hopes they can visit again, but Homer, mind-numbingly mad and dealing with waste from a garbage truck ahead of him, only says "we'll see".

Quick Review
Season 9 opens with a bang of an episode.  Homer's various difficulties in New York make for good viewing, while the sights the rest of the family sees have some good gags as well.  The "I'm Checking In" musical number was clever as well.

Final Score: 9.8

Homer vs. the Eighteenth Amendment (S08, E18-171)

"To alcohol!  The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

Plot Summary
After a rather riotous St. Patrick's Day party that abruptly ends when Bart accidentally drinks a load of beer, getting drunk off his ass, the goody-two-shoes of the town demand Springfield undergo prohibition.  Just then, the town cleric dusts off a scroll which states that Springfield in fact passed a prohibition law 200 years ago (under punishment of catapult), and as such would still be in effect today.  Thus, much to the shock of boozehounds throughout town, Springfield becomes dry.

The new law seems devastating at first, as Duff beer is forced to close down after a failed attempt at selling non-alcoholic beer.  However, the heroes of the mafia quickly resupply Moe's with booze, easily bribing the police to stay inactive, and everything is okay.  The goody-two-shoes quickly catch wind, and after seeing Chief Wiggum having fun at Moe's, they force Mayor Quimby's hand.  He brings in Rex Banner, some kind of serious type who takes over Wiggum's position and quickly stops the beer bootlegging.

Now with prohibition actually being enforced, Homer tries to come up with a plan, when a TV report reminds him that there's a landfill of beer that was placed there following the enactment of prohibition.  He and Bart dig it up and evade the police, setting up their bootlegging business.  As Banner struggles to find out who this new "Beer Baron" is, Homer is making good money from his shady work, even impressing Marge.

However, soon Homer runs out of landfill beer, but gets an idea from Moe to make booze from scratch.  The business stays afloat for awhile, but making alcohol from scratch is more difficult than it seems, and after a few explosions Homer decides to quit while he's ahead.  A short time later, he sees Wiggum in rags, his job essentially lost when Banner came in and being forced to sell parts of his gun to feed his family.  Homer decides to help Wiggum out by letting him beat Banner at his own game.

The word quickly spreads that Wiggum "caught" the Beer Baron, and has his job reinstated, I guess.  Though Homer is happy to of helped Wiggum, it seems he was unaware of the punishment for violating prohibition.  Just before Homer is to be catapulted away, Marge makes a plea to end prohibition.  Banner tries to persuade in favor of following laws, he inadvertently enters the catapult, giving Wiggum the chance to fling him away.  A moment later, that town clerk reveals that, on the same scroll, the 200 year old prohibition law was repealed just one year later.  With the town officially wet again, Homer is freed and the mafia quickly resupply the town with the booze it oh so loves.

Quick Review
This was an enjoyable episode, watching Homer deal with prohibition and the whole "Beer Baron" scheme was well done, and having a competent man like Rex Banner be tasked with keeping the law going was a good choice as well.  A beer-focused episode allows characters like Moe and especially Barney to shine, and shine they did here.  In all, its one of Season 8's better episodes.

Final Score: 9.4

Homer's Phobia (S08, E15-168)

Homer will never look at steel-crafted goods the same again.

Plot Summary
Needing $900 to pay for the gas bill following an 'incident', Marge decides she has no choice but to sell a 'priceless' Civil War figurine to cover the cost.  At an off-the-wall collectible shop, a man by the name of John informs the family that, no, the figurine is just a liquor bottle from the 70s.  Homer notices the oddities of the store, and John informs Homer about the value of camp.  Homer invites him over to the house later, and the two have a good time.  The next morning, Homer hopes he can invite John and his wife for further get-togethers, but Marge relays to Homer a rather obvious observation: John is a homosexual, a fact which horrifies Homer.

At this point, Homer refuses to talk to John, but as John invited the family for a little drive-around, everyone but Homer goes.  When the family gets back, Homer notices that Bart has picked up some of John's mannerisms, as well as some other stereotypically gay habits, and starts to fear that Bart might be turning gay on him.  He attempts to 'fix' Bart by having him stare at ladies on a cigarette billboard, but that only gets him to want to smoke slims.  Homer then takes Bart to a steel mill, but learns in terror that the entire place is run by gays, whose break time is basically partying rather hard.

At the bar, Homer laments his situation to Moe and Barney.  Moe recalls that shooting a guy in war would be a quick 'fix', but as its peacetime its not an option.  Barney instead suggests shooting a deer, as it would be like shooting a 'beautiful man'.  Homer agrees, and drags Bart along so that he can have Bart shoot a deer.

Unknown to them, the deer have moved away from those woods as the grass there had been replaced with astroturf.  After a whole day of finding no deer, Moe sees a sign for Santa's Village on the way back, and takes them there.  Homer tries to have Bart shoot a reindeer in a cage, but Bart refuses to do it.  Before long, though, the reindeer are riled up and are looking for a head-bumpin'.  Barney and Moe are able to hide, while Homer props Bart up high, taking shot after shot from the reindeer.  Just then, a Santa robot comes along and is able to shoo the reindeer away.  It turns out that John was able to find them and save the day via good timing.  Though Moe and Barney are ashamed to of been saved by a 'sissy', Homer sticks up for John, finally having warmed up to have after John saved his life.  At the end of the episode, Bart finally learns that Homer thinks Bart is gay, much to his shock.

Quick Review
As you may recall, I'm rating this episodes on a single criteria: how funny it is.  I've got the scale and everything.  I realize that this is a notable episode based on the themes it deals with, and all of that, however it has little bearing on how funny I found the episode.  How funny did I find the episode?  I found it quite funny, actually, as Homer's phobia proved to be a constant source of entertainment throughout the episode, with Barney and Moe provided additional fun near the end.

Final Score: 9.3

Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(d'oh)cious (S08, E13-166)

Oh that crazy Grampa!

Its official title has (Annoyed Grunt) instead of (d'oh), but really who would pronounce it like that?

Plot Summary
Marge's hair is falling out, and its because of stress.  Overworked at home, she decides to get a nanny to help around the house, and the family agrees to do so.  The search for a nanny doesn't get off to a good start, but after the kids sing a song about a perfect kind of nanny, a perfect kind of nanny knocks on the front door: Sherry Bobbins (an original creation, like "Rickey Rouse" and "Monald Muck"), who flies in via her magical umbrella.

Sherry agrees to help around the house, and her songs about cleaning up a room half-assed and Barney the boozehound quickly get the kids to love her.  Marge's hair becomes full again, and the entire family becomes rather dignified rather quickly.  Believing her job to be done, Sherry attempts to take her leave, but just moments after leaving the house, she notices the family fall into quick disarray, forcing her to stay longer (not that she could've left - Grampa took her flying umbrella by accident).

Now the family doesn't even try to bother with Sherry's advice or songs.  Its starts to get to Sherry, breaking down and resorting to alcoholism.  The family takes notice of this, and tells Sherry, through song again, that she can't help this family like she thought she could, but the family is happy just the way they are.  Sherry understands and gets the hell out of there, retrieving her umbrella from a since-fallen Grampa, and takes her leave (and then getting sucked into an airplane propeller with no one watching, haha how funny).

Quick Review
Opposite of the previous episode, I found this episode to be funnier than I remember it being.  I think part of it is that the songs featured, notably the "do things half-assed" song and "Barney the Boozehound", were quite clever and had a few humorous moments in each.  The stuff the family was watching on TV - the Krusty Komedy Klassic at first, and the other show later on - was good stuff as well, making this one of Season 8's better episodes.

Final Score: 9.2

Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part One (S06, E25-128)

Who would want to shoot such a cheeful face like that?

Plot Summary
After the holiday break, Principal Skinner finds one of the classroom's pet hamster dead, and requests that Groundskeeper Willie bury him.  Willie decides to bury "Superdude" in the basement, and upon doing so reveals an oil well.  The news travels fast, and Mr. Burns learns about it.  Unwilling to allow anybody else to have their hands on such financial security, he goes to trick Skinner into giving it to him, but when that doesn't pan out he just decides to tap the well himself.

Meanwhile, the school plans ahead and decides to increase its budget in preparation for the oil income, the music program is expanded under Lisa's suggestion to include Tito Puente, and Willie was gonna get himself a new crystal bucket, too.  However, the oil rig fails to produce, and then Burns is successful in building a slanted rig that pumps the oil first.  With no oil, plus costs to build, operate and then destroy the school's oil rig, Skinner is forced to make multiple cuts, including music and maintenance.  When the slanted rig shot off oil, it hit Bart's treehouse directly, destroying it and leaving Santa's Little Helper's hind legs broken.  The fumes from the rig also forces the nearby Moe's to close down, much to the anger of both Moe and Barney, and the oil well causes a sinkhole below the retirement home, forcing its residents to abandon it until it can be fixed.

As this is happening, Homer becomes increasingly frustrated that Burns can never remember his name.  On Marge's suggestion, he sends Burns a box of candy with a photo of him and his family.  Burns and Smithers remember each face they see in the box, but neither are willing to eat the last piece - a sour quince log - which still covers Homer's face.  Burns sends a thank you note to Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie, which sends Homer into a fury when he finally realizes his name wasn't included.  He tries to spray paint his name in Burns' office, but when Burns still doesn't know who he is, Homer attacks him in a vain attempt to get him to learn, saying Burns is "dead" when being dragged off by the guards.

Despite having crippled the school and closing down the tavern and the retirement home, Burns still isn't satisfied, as he knows that for most of the day people in town get free energy and light from the sun.  He reveals to Smithers, who wasn't particularly fond of the oil-stealing plan, his next plan which involves blocking out the sun, forcing Springfield to use Burns' electricity 24 hours a day.  Smithers refuses to go along with this fiendish plot, and as a result Burns fires him on the spot.

The town has a meeting to discuss Burns' plot, where many people are stroking guns.  As people tell their sob stories, Burns makes an appearance.  Before Bart can advance on him, Burns reveals he's carrying a gun after an attack from an "unidentified assailant".  Burns enacts his plan, and quickly the sun is blocked off.  The town becoming all the more frustrated, Burns scuttles off happy as a fly now that he has complete control of the town's energy.

As an odd series of occurrences are revealed, including Smithers leaving his coat behind, Skinner leaving his mother behind, a gun that Grampa brought to the Simpsons home that Marge buried only for it to be dug up, and no Simpson other than Marge or Maggie to be found.  Off screen, Burns gets into a struggle with an unknown person, and is soon shot thereafter.  He struggles to the sundial in front of town hall, his arms landing on "W" and "S", and the town gathers around to see the victim.  Marge realizes that this mystery may never be solved, and that everyone in town is a suspect.  The episode ends with Dr. Hibbert saying he couldn't solve this mystery only to wonder if YOU (by which he means Chief Wiggum) can solve it.

Quick Review
This episode is part of what is still the only real two-parter in the series (that whole "Nedna" nonsense a couple of years back never had an actual Part 2, just a mention in the next season's premier).  What's more, its an episode shrouded in mystery.  Clues are everywhere, there are shots to people which makes you suspect them even if just a little, and like 20 people are given motives to go and shoot Mr. Burns.  Its a mystery that was set up as a contest as well, where people could call in at one point in the summer between each part and guess who pulled the trigger, which nobody was able to guess correctly given the absurdity of the correct answer.

Its the shining moment that perhaps defines the quality of these early, "golden" years of the series, that takes everything people have come to know and love about these characters over six years and really makes them really think if any of them had the guts to shoot that fiendish old man.

As a lot of the episode was spent placing clues and setting up suspects, the quantity of jokes were lesser than they had been for many of the episodes for Season 6.  Even so, there's no question this episode along with its conclusion are some of the most well known and beloved episodes of these early season.  I-it just wasn't as funny.

Also, just to note, the list of suspects this episode set up:
Principal Skinner: Burns stole the oil that was under his school, essentially stealing financial security
Groundskeeper Willie: Lost his job because of the oil incident, because the school had to make cuts.
Mr. Largo (that music teacher): Same as Willie
Tito Puente: The oil incident robbed the school of Tito Puente
Homer Simpson: Burns can never remember his name, missing during the shooting
Bart Simpson: The slanted rig crippled his dog and destroyed his treehouse, missing during the shooting
Lisa Simpson: The oil incident robbed the school of music, missing during the shooting
Abraham Simpson: The slanted rig caused a sinkhole over his retirement home, he and his gun are also missing during the shooting
Moe Szyslak: The slanted rig forces his bar to close.
Barney Gumble: The slanted rig forced Moe to close the bar.
Waylon Smithers: Fired after trying to tell Burns that the latter's plan were diabolical, became a drunk.

I think that's most of them.  And then Part Two concludes in such a silly way.

Final Score: 8.7

A Star is Burns (S06, E18-121)

Burns: "Are you saying 'boo' or 'boo-urns'?"
Crowd: "BOOOOOOOO!  BOOOOOO!"
Moleman: "I was saying 'boo-urns'..."

Plot Summary
Its learned that Springfield is the least popular city in the nation, ranking dead last in science and culture.  Worried that what little tourism the city actually has will diminish, the town has a meeting to determine how to fix this problem.  Marge, much to everyone's chagrin, has a suggestion but unlike past suggestions people like this one: a film festival where Springfield's locals can submit films to judging.  The town takes to the idea and soon everyone in town starts filming.  Needing someone to help judge the event, Marge along with Lisa look for viable film critics on TV, finally settling on one Jay Sherman for how smart and sensitive he is.  Marge writes to Jay and asks him to visit Springfield, and decides to go, if only because Rainier Wolfcastle wants his blood for insulting him on TV.

As Bart senses "another cheap cartoon crossover" approaching, he meets Sherman, The Critic, as he stays at the Simpsons place up until after the festival.  Homer is quickly put off by Sherman, as he seems more capable than Homer in everything, including belching, and especially including the ability to recite the entire Oscar Meyer song.  With Marge not particularly defensive of Homer's intelligence, Homer insists Marge put him on the film jury, a list that includes Marge, Jay, Mayor Quimby and Krusty the Klown.  Marge relents, and puts Homer in.

As the festival nears, Mr. Burns decides to take part, as he learns profits are dropping because he's seen as an ogre-like individual.  With Steven Spielberg unavailable, Burns calls upon Señor Spielbergo, Spielberg's non-union, Mexican equivalent to direct the film and opts to play the role of himself after finding no suitable actors.

The day of the festival arrives, and things start well enough.  One movie, aptly named "Man Getting Hit by Football" features Hans Moleman getting hit in the groin with a football, a movie that quickly becomes Homer's favorite.  Next, Barney Gumble made a film that chronicles the pain and sorrow of his alcoholism.  The powerful film quickly becomes a crowd favorite, though Homer was getting a beer and missed the film.  The final film is Burns' movie, a seemingly epic film that has him bringing in factory jobs from America to Mexico, filling the role of ET for some reason, and giving water to Judah Ben-Hur somehow.  Everyone hates the movie, booing (or in one case, 'boo-urns'ing) the film and Burns.

During judging, though, Burns was able to bribe both Krusty and the Mayor, and thus the two of them vote for Burns' film.  While Jay and Marge both vote for Barney's rather poorly titled "Pukeahontas", Homer is insistent on voting for "Man Getting Hit by Football".  With the judging in recess, Marge shows disgust towards Homer, while Jay comments that there must be more to life then guys getting hit in the groin by footballs (just before getting hit by one himself).  Homer decides to finally see the film, and agrees it to be the best of the festival, giving Barney the award and its prize: a lifetime supply of Duff beer.  The festival is a success, and Jay heads back to New York offering the Simpsons a chance to be on his show (which Bart quickly declines).  Marge notes that Burns had learned his lesson, though six months later an attempt to get his film an Oscar via bribing fails when it loses to George C. Scott's "Man Getting Hit by Football".

Quick Review
This episode is a controversial one, in that, well, its a crossover.  Now, its not the only crossover the show would do (see: Season 8's The Springfield Files featuring the X-Files crew or Season 22's Elementary School Musical featuring the cast of Glee), but unlike those other episodes, this episode features a crossover with The Critic, a show that was produced by Al Jean and Mike Reiss, showrunners of the Simpsons for Seasons 3 and 4 before leaving to work on The Critic.  Furthermore, its the only crossover that featured a mix between two animated comedies, which I think is the sticking point.  Series creator Matt Groening was not pleased with that, so it was reported, and left his name off the credits for this episode.  The Critic, funny as it was, lasted a total of two seasons, only one of which was on FOX, as the show never really caught on, so having a show that wasn't very popular crossover with the Simpsons at the time must've raised a few eyebrows as well.

Despite all of that, the episode is still very funny.  Wolfcastle's new film, McBain: Let's Get Silly, featuring lines such as "Do you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up?  That's the joke." was the best part of the episode, I believe, but many of the films or the productions thereof really gave the episode the meat of its comedy.  Say what you will about the crossover, but Jay Sherman fit right into the episode (even if most of his comedic failings from The Critic didn't transfer over), and Jon Lovitz again provides an excellent voice over.  Even if you're not a fan of the concept, the quality of the jokes and humor in this episode make it one of the best of the season regardless of whether the crossover enhanced or detracted from your experience.

Final Score: 10

Deep Space Homer (S05, E15-096)

Typical media reaction, more at 11.

Plot Summary
Homer is eager for the next "employee of the week" award at the plant because A) union laws state that every employee is required to win the award, and B) Homer is the only person left that hasn't won the award.  However, Homer is angered when the award is given to an inanimate carbon rod, noting the lack of respect he gets when compared to said rod.  He tries to turn to TV to forget his worries, but upon seeing NASA coverage neither he nor Bart can deal with it.

Indeed, the decreased lack of interest is hurting NASA hard.  Worried about losing funding, the higher ups agree that Americans are no longer interested in the clean-cut men that make up most astronauts, turning their interests instead on the "blue-collar" slob as seen on Home Improvement and Married With Children.  Noting that such a person should be their next astronaut.  Homer somehow gets a hold of NASA's number and starts to tell them off (also to note his displeasure over the lack of Tang), and its decided that Homer will be their man.  Going to Moe's to find him, Homer quickly blames Barney for the call, but upon learning that they wanted to make him an astronaut, complete with respect, Homer tries to tell them he was the one who called.  NASA takes both men instead.

As Homer and Barney begin training for the one astronaut spot, Barney is shocked to learn that alcohol is not allowed.  However, by the next morning Barney has quickly recovered his balance and cognitive ability, and in short time he becomes as fit and able as most astronauts.  However, upon celebration of his victory, Barney takes a sip of champagne.  Despite the fact that it was non-alcoholic champagne, Barney's alcoholic mannerisms take hold anyway, and steals a jetpack to fly away.  Homer becomes NASA's astronaut by default.

Though Homer is initially thrilled, fear and anxiety quickly set in.  He bails on the mission and calls Marge for support.  Marge convinces him to not pass this opportunity up, and as Homer reflects on a past missed opportunity (missing Mr. T at the mall), he regains his confidence and undergoes the mission.  He's accompanied by real astronaut Buzz Aldrin and fictional astronaut Race Banyon.  The mission starts off well enough, but Homer somehow snuggled aboard a bag of rippled potato chips.  With no gravity, the chips fly everywhere, so Homer floats around trying to gobble up the stray chips.  This, however, leads Homer to crash into an ant farm in the back, setting the ants free and causing media panic.

With James Taylor in mission control, a story of his gives the idea to just flush out the ants and chips into space.  The astronauts blast open the door, but Homer prematurely leaves his seat, requiring a rescue and breaking the handle on the door.  Homer accidentally lodges a carbon rod into the door and the side, keeping it closed, allowing the shuttle to survive re-entry, landing in a media convention.  Though Buzz tries to give Homer credit for their survival, the media focuses on the carbon rod, and once again the carbon rod gets the nod over Homer, but at least Homer has gained the respect of his family.

Quick Review
Deep Space Homer is a fun episode, though with a bit of an odd premise it still turns out very well.  The ever present plight of NASA's relevance holds true even today, and its used to comedic effect very well here.  James Taylor's appearance didn't do anything for me, but I did enjoy Buzz Aldrin's guest work.  The bit with the ants is a classic, both Homer breaking them out and Kent Brockman overreacting to them:

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've just lost the picture, but, uh, what we've seen speaks for itself.  The Corvair Spacecraft has been taken over, "conquered" if you will, by a master race of giant space ants.  It's difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive earth men, or merely enslave them.  One thing is for certain: there is no stopping them, the ants will soon be here.  And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.  I'd like to remind them that as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves."

That was the best part of what ends up being a good, if not great, episode.

Final Score: 8.4

Homer's Barbershop Quartet (S05, E01-082)

Poor Wiggum, poor poor Wiggum.

Plot Summary
Season 5 starts off with a flashback episode, and a somewhat odd one at that.  Its not about Homer and Marge, nor is it about any of the kids.  No, this flashback episode details Homer's time as a member of a barbershop group.  How many people could see that one coming?

The story is brought up during a Springfield Swap Meet, when Bart and Lisa spy a peculiar album made by a group named "The Be Sharps", with Homer's face on it.  When inquired, Homer more than happily tells the two about the group.  The year is 1985 (one year after Lisa's once-canon birth in Lisa's First Word), and Homer, alongside Apu, Principal Skinner and Chief Wiggum, sing barbershop songs around town amidst increasing popularity.  A talent agent sees them perform and wants to make them famous, except for Wiggum whom he feels is "too Village People", demanding him to be replaced.  As Homer dumps Wiggum into the middle of nowhere late at night, the remainder of the group has difficulty finding a replacement.  After several failed auditions, they group hears a wonderful singing voice emanating from the bathroom in Moe's.  The three soon realize its Barney crooning, and make him the new fourth member, much to Wiggum's continued dismay.

With Homer as the group's songwriter, the group records its first #1 hit: "Baby on Board", based on the sign Marge bought to stop people from intentionally ramming into her car.  With that hit, the Be Sharps rise to national fame, even winning a Grammy in the process.  However, time changes all things, and as the group starts to fatigue from their work (and Barney becomes super hipster thanks to being in a relationship with a Japanese "artist"), they learn that the group is not only not "hot", but also "not".  With that, the group breaks up and everyone goes back to their lives.

Back home from the swap meet, Homer sends the kids off to bed after telling them the story.  Looking at the album again, Homer feels a little nostalgic, and gets the group together to sing another song on Moe's rooftop, which is enjoyed by most except for the still-bitter Wiggum.

Quick Review
This ended up being a very enjoyable episode.  Wiggum proves to be the best source of comedy as he struggles with being kicked out of the group, and the references throughout the episode are neat to find and look at as well.  Even with the odd premise, its a strong start to Season 5.

Final Score: 9.5

So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show (S04, E18-077)

Insert some kind of "Bartbeat" in place of "heartbeat" joke here.

Plot Summary
In what is generously called an episode, Homer keeps messing around with Bart on April Fools Day.  Determined to get back at Homer, Bart investigates to determine Homer's weakness.  Learning quite easily that beer is that weakness, and that a shaken can of beer can make one look quite the fool, an April Fool as it were, Bart takes a can of beer and shakes it up hardcore at a paint store.  Homer eventually goes to open the can up, but before Bart can declare the joke, the can blows up, and Homer is knocked out.

At the hospital, while the clips start coming in, its learned that Homer may never walk again.  Attempts to help him do so seemingly fail, however Homer sees a candy machine and, after reminiscing about that land of chocolate, is able to walk to it.  However, the machine gives him difficulty and after Homer shakes it around, it falls on him, ironically choking him with bars of chocolate.

Now in a coma, the family has a moment with Homer.  Bart, in grief, admits to his unconscious father that he set up the can, that it was all an April Fools joke.  Having heard it in his coma, Homer is able to wake up, and choke the boy in rage.  With his miraculous recovery, Homer tries to pull one last joke on the family, except its May 16th and Homer had to lose 5% of his brain.  Good times.

Quick Review
As the title implies, this is the first of a few clip shows featured in the series, finally happening after 76 episodes.  As such, I find it a bit difficult to score such an episode as most of its content is comprised of clips from older episodes.  Should I grade solely the new material, knowing full well the episode will be scored low from there not being much new material?  Instead, I still give credit to the types of clips that are used and, hey, they're still funny even if the context for them are much more flimsy than previously.  As a result, we end up with what is perhaps the best clip show of all time. ...okay, not really.

I also find it funny that the show aired on April Fools Day, which is also the episode's theme.  It's like: "hey this was a pretty cool start to the show huh?  I wonder what's gonna happen to Homer and- APRIL FOOLS IT'S A CLIP SHOW, TAKE THAT SUCKERS".  As I've said, though, what little new content there is turns out to be most excellent and connects the many clips very well for the most part.

The original content by itself (the April Fools Day plot, the appearances by Barney, Grampa, Mr. Burns and Dr. Nick), is very strong and if it had been laid out as a full episode I'm sure it would've been one of the classics.  Even though it actually just serves as a reason to insert old material into a new context, its still funny stuff.  Some of the clips work well in this episode, others are brought up somewhat weakly, not that it derives from the clips any.  This score may seem high, but for a clip show episode, this ends up being superb.  I don't expect any of the other clip show episodes from the series to get this high a score.  Well, maybe the 138th episode spectacular, but that'll be for later.

Final Score: 8.7

Duffless (S04, E16-075)

Remember when episodes ended like this all the time?

Plot Summary
Its time for another school science fair!  As Bart doesn't have a project ready to go (or at least a good one - seeing the effects of smoking on a dog doesn't count), Lisa shows off a giant tomato, enhanced with anabolic steroids (and judging from the size of it, a ton of steroids).  At school, in a regrettable act, Lisa has Bart take care of the tomato as she retrieves something she forgot.  Seeing Principal Skinner bent over to tie his shoe, though, leaves Bart with no other recourse.  He accurately throws the tomato right into Skinner's butt, leaving Skinner devastated, Bart thoroughly pleased and Lisa mad as all hell.

Angry with Bart, Lisa decides to begin a new project: "Is my brother dumber than a hamster?"  In two different instances Lisa finds the hamster to be far more intelligent than Bart, however Bart finds the project journal and learns of the ploy.  When the science fair arrives, Bart has the last laugh by having the hamster plopped into a toy plane, with little pilot gear fitted onto the hamster.  Despite having no scientific merit, the cute display woos everyone, including Principal Skinner who gives Bart first prize.

Meanwhile, Homer and Barney plan to go to the Duff Brewery, with Homer leaving work early to do so, though he practically blows his plan to Marge.  After escaping work, Homer and Barney have a grand time at the Brewery.  After, given how drunk Barney is, Homer decides to drive them home, but the police are camped right outside ready to pull over people just leaving the Brewery.  Homer is unable the pass the breathalyzer, and is arrested for DWI.  His license is revoked, leaving him to ride a bike to work and elsewhere and is forced to attend AA meetings as a result.  Later on, Marge is able to convince Homer to not have any beer for a month.  Homer reluctantly agrees.

Homer's month without beer becomes rather tortuous, as he's forced to deal with things alcohol was able to otherwise help him through.  His desperation came to such a low that at one point he went to a football game just so he could eat the dirt under the bleachers.  The constant (and sometimes literal) bombardment of  Duff advertising nearly drives Homer over the edge, as well.  Yet, Homer is able to last the entire month.  Quickly rushing to Moe's, Homer's beer enthusiasm is soured as he notices the other boozehounds: depressed, out of it, wasting away.  Opting to get back into beer a later time, Homer heads back home, so he can take Marge on a bike ride at sunset.

Quick Review
Duffless ends up being a fantastic episode.  The scenes with the Duff Brewery near the beginning, Bart and his adventures with the rigged cupcake as well as the science fair sideplot, Homer's month without beer (and the origin of how he first started drinking), these were all excellent moments throughout this episode.  It ended on such a nice moment as well.  Duffless is one of Season 4's best episodes, and maybe a bit underrated as well.

Final Score: 10