Yellow Subterfuge (S25, E07-537)

Nothing is more fun for a mother than making her son believe she's dead!

Plot Summary
Principal Skinner, dreaming himself to be some kind of big shot, announces to the school that he will be hosting a special field trip: on board a nuclear submarine.  However, the field trip is forcibly limited to just a few students, whom Skinner will decide on based on students' behavior from this point forward.  Essentially on a clean slate, Bart decides to be on his best behavior so that he can get on that sub, despite both his family not believing in him and Skinner being very strict with taking students off "the list" for things as simple as letting gum fall on the floor.

Bart's determination hits a snag when the bus stalls on the way to school.  Fearing he'll be late and thus scratched off the list, Bart gets out and makes a mad dash to school.  He arrives just in time, but unfortunately runs in with muddy feet, giving Skinner enough reason to scratch Bart off his list.  Bart tries to get on the sub in other ways, first via a prank and later by good ol' fashioned sucking up, but Skinner leaves Bart off the field trip list regardless, leaving Bart to watch the submarine sink into the ocean depths.

Homer arrives in time to see Bart in distress and decides to help the boy enact some revenge.  The next morning, Skinner wakes up in his home to find his mother seemingly stabbed dead on the kitchen floor.  Homer and Bart conveniently arrive at his house to 'see' the scene and the two 'promise' to help Skinner out, though its obviously a ploy devised by Homer and Bart, with Agnes gladly helping out.  The two convince Skinner that letting the likes of Chief Wiggum figure the scene out is tantamount to suicide, and that leaving town is the only option, dressing him up as the disguised "Dick Fiddler" and seeing Skinner off on a bus.  Homer and Bart return home, mission accomplished, however Skinner is there, finding himself unable to flee so easily.  He's ready to take the blame for his 'crime', even admitting that deep down inside he wanted his mother to die anyway.  Marge has enough, and blows Bart's scheme, and Agnes comes in to reveal to Skinner that not only is she still alive, but she heard his admission and plans on being even meaner to him as a punishment.

Meanwhile, Krusty is broke (again), and Lisa witnesses repo men take his stuff away.  Lisa convinces Krusty to license his show globally so that other people can act like Krusty in their respective countries, and Krusty can earn some of each show's profits.  Krusty agrees to do so, and is able to get 75% of each international show's profits for each person to act like a regional Krusty.  Soon, though, each Krusty gains their share of fame, so much so that the original Krusty becomes the least popular of them all.  Those regional Krustys demand the original let them keep more of their earnings, but Krusty tries to appease them instead by promising to appear on each of their shows, which due to Krusty's lack of popularity, only drives them to chase him out away from wherever he is.

Quick Review
This was a pretty good episode, all things considered.  The couch gag wasn't stupidly long, the focus on Principal Skinner (and Krusty, less so) worked well for the most part, and I enjoyed Homer and Bart's role in the episode.  The only downer I felt the episode produced was the Jamaican Krusty bit, complete with a Jamaican "Itchum and Scratchum" thing that wasn't all that good, but that's a minor complaint for what was otherwise a decent episode.

Final Score: 7.6

Skinner's Sense of Snow (S12, E08-256)

I bet that guy's pay got cut by a couple of very valuable cents.

Plot Summary
A winter storm hits Springfield overnight, and in the morning there has been a sizable snowfall.  Everything is closed for the day... except Springfield Elementary School.  Bart and Lisa go, as do a few select other students, but most of the students as well as the entire faculty don't go as it is the final day before Christmas break.  With such a small size, Principal Skinner just spends the day showing an old movie, but by the end of the day, the continued snowfall has piled up and has essentially barricaded everyone within the school.

Homer and Ned Flanders begin a rescue operation, but Homer haphazardly runs over a fire hydrant, with water immediately freezing over the car.  Homer tries to gas pedal his way out, but something breaks and exhaust fumes enter the car, leaving the two delirious.

With the kids at school becoming unruly, Skinner recalls his army days and takes full control of the situation, silencing Nelson's rebellion attempts.  Bart still can't deal with staying in school, though, and at night attempts to tunnel out via the delivery chute.  Skinner catches him and, fearing a collapse of the tunnel, pulls Bart out and collapses the tunnel himself.  Unfortunately, the tunnel collapses on Skinner, leaving him stuck in a pile of snow, prompting Bart and the other kids to go wild.

Pulling Skinner out of the snow but immediately putting him in a dodgeball sack without Skinner being able to break free during the interim somehow, the kids continue going wild, breaking into the permanent record room as well.  With the kids distracted in there, Skinner sneaks off and puts the school hamster in a ball with a help message, and sends it off above the snow level through the window.

That hamster eventually makes its way to Homer and Ned, somehow flying into and through the windshield.  That allows the exhaust fumes to escape, and the two recover from their hallucinations.  Homer, still a bit out of it, recklessly makes his way to the school, but loses control, knocking over a silo of salt at a cracker factory.  In a stroke of lucky coincidence, the cracker factory is located right near the school, and the salt from the tipped over silo pours over the snow blocking the front door, melting it quickly.  Skinner and the kids are freed, both sides eager to forget the unpleasantness, and the Simpson and Flanders kids go home with their dads in the increasingly dilapidated car.

Quick Review
I enjoyed this episode.  The low-budget movie Skinner was showing the students was the best part of the episode, and there were several jokes that worked well throughout (though there were a few that didn't).  As a bit of a curveball as Simpsons episodes go, this episode starts off on a slow note as the circus plotline wasn't really doing much for comedy, but once the snowstorm came in the episode quickly recovered.

Final Score: 8.2

The Principal and the Pauper (S09, E02-180)

"Armin Tamzarian's reign of terror is over.  Now let us welcome our new
Principal Skinner... Principal Seymour Skinner!"  *pause*  "Uh, him."

Plot Summary
Principal Skinner is given a surprise party for having been principal at the elementary school for 20 years now.  As the celebration gets underway, an unknown man is driven by the school (where the party is being held), and requests to go there.  As Skinner states how proud he is to be Seymour Skinner, the man barges in claiming to be Seymour Skinner himself.  Principal Skinner immediately recognizes the man as the real Seymour Skinner, revealing himself to be an impostor.

The real Skinner reveals that he wasn't killed in combat, but rather captured and put to work in a shoe factory until a week ago, where the UN shut it down and rescued him.  The principal reveals that, much to Bart's amusement, his real name is Armin Tamzarian.  As a teenager, Armin was a wild, rebellious type.  He gets caught stealing an old lady's purse when he accidentally crashes his motorcycle into a judge.  He is given three options: jail, the army, or apologize to the judge and old lady.  Armin chooses the army, unaware that the Vietnam war was occurring.  Its there that Armin meets the real Skinner, his unit commander, who gives his life meaning.  Soon, though, Skinner is lost in combat, missing but presumed dead.  Armin once again feels lost, but decides it should be him that informs Skinner's mother of what had happened.  When the two meet, Agnes mistakes Armin as her son.  Armin, unable to find it within him to tell her the truth, decides to play along, and assumes Seymour's identity which gave both Armin and Agnes blissful contentment.

Armin tries to resume his duty as Principal, but the weight of everyone knowing the lie is too much.  He resigns as principal, offering the spot to the real Skinner (who says that if a man pretending to be Skinner can do it, then therefore the real Skinner must be more than capable as well).  He then decides to 'leave town forever', fully resuming his life as street punk Armin Tamzarian.

Although the real Skinner isn't bad per se, Mrs. Krabappel (who got into a relationship with Armin not that long ago) isn't fond of the new Seymour, and Agnes absolutely can not stand how independent her real son is.  The two share their annoyances with Marge, who comes up with the idea to bring Armin back.  The three of them alongside Homer, the kids, Grampa and Jasper for various reasons, all find Armin in Capitol City, and as Agnes reveals that she considers Armin her real son, Armin decides to come back.

The group comes back with Armin declaring he'll happily resume being the school's principal, however the real Skinner steps in, unwilling to just be pushed away and demands respect as a war veteran.  Homer quickly comes up with a compromise: tying Skinner up on a chair on a train and give him an honorable salute as he is sent out of town.  Homer then has Judge Snyder officially give Armin the name Seymour Skinner along with the past, present, future, and mother of that name.  Snyder also forces everyone to forget these events ever occurred, and that any one who brings it up will be disciplined with torture.  With that, the status quo is kinda sorta back to normal.

Quick Review
There are some people who do not like this episode.  People who don't like that a likable character for so long had been revealed as a fraud, but then suddenly its all "oh hey forget about that, its legally non canon, we good now"?  Even series creator Matt Groening finds this episode less than enjoyable, to say the least.

Personally, I don't care.  Even when this episode came out, the show had been around for nine seasons and though there were many things that carried over from certain episodes, like Skinner and Krabappel's relationship, its hard to say that a show where nobody ages can have some kind of rock-solid canon for nine seasons.  Besides, when something screwy happens to another character for an episode, how often does it get brought back up other than a quick reference joke?  That same has been true here, only having been referenced twice since, and really the show has done far more enraging things than say Skinner was a fraud but was legally not a fraud anymore.

Now, as for the quality of the episode's humor, it does alright.  It slows down during the middle of the episode when Armin explains what happened, but there's plenty of jokes and such around that which makes this another strong episode in terms of humor, even if you don't like the premise.

Final Score: 8.9

Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song (S05, E19-100)

"I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel.
Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life
through advanced cloning techniques.  I call it 'Billy and the Cloneasaurus'."

Plot Summary
Desperate to find something for show and tell, Bart decides to bring along Santa's Little Helper.  While the dog is a hit at the presentation, Martin pressures Bart to put the dog in the closet so he can show off his geode.  While in the closet, the dog is able to make his way into the air vent, causing chaos.  Skinner orders Groundskeeper Willie to grease up and go into the vents to capture the dog.  Willie does so, but winds up in the vent above the gymnasium, too high up to leave.  The fire department is brought in to help them out, while Superintendent Chalmers catches wind of the incident and fires Skinner.

While Bart mistakes a spider bite for guilt, Chalmers hires the head of the PTA, Ned Flanders, as the new principal.  Ned, who remembers his parents being rule-less beatniks, is unwilling to enforce discipline.  He installs an "honor system", and soon the school quickly descends to chaos as teachers refuse to leave the lounge.  Meanwhile, Bart sees Skinner in the Kwik-E-Mart in civilian clothes, and then later in the laundromat looking rather pathetic in both instances.  Bart feels sorry for him and goes to visit Skinner at his house.  The two spend more time with one another, but Skinner deeply misses the school still.  Only one other thing has given Skinner's life meaning, and its what Skinner decides to go back to: the army.

Missing Skinner as a friend, and even more so an enemy, Bart decides to get Skinner back into the school.  He finds Skinner and convinces him to come back, after Skinner realizes that the army hasn't really changed at all.  Bart's big plan is to have Chalmers fire Ned after seeing the state of the school.  However, Chalmers actually doesn't care, noting that all public schools are going to devolve to this level sooner than later.  At that moment, Ned gives a message on the PA that includes the phrase "thank the Lord".  Realizing that its a prayer in a public school, Chalmers becomes outraged and fires Flanders, hiring Skinner back if only because "he knows the students' names".  Skinner thanks Bart for what he's done, and the two happily become enemies again.

Quick Review
Most shows celebrate 100 episodes in some big way.  The Simpsons celebrate 100 episodes with a passing mention of milestones in the chalkboard gag and then presenting a silly story featuring Bart's principal.  The 100th episode of the series is by no means the best of the 100, but its still a funny episode that delivers plenty of humor and a plot that sets up those jokes well.  Skinner is a difficult character to mess up, but this episode does a fine job with his character and the relationship between him and Bart.

Final Score: 8.8

Principal Charming (S02, E14-027)

Homer Sexuals don't like women, you see.

Plot Summary
Upset that a co-worker she might've had a chance with is instead marrying a different woman, Selma asks Marge to find her a man.  Marge later relays the request to Homer, who reluctantly agrees to do so.  The next day, Homer looks around work trying to find suitable candidates, Terminator-style, but whether that person is too handsome, a jerk, not a man or just a sign, Homer is unable to find anyone.

Meanwhile, Bart gets his hands on some sodium tetrasulfate, which he learns kills grass, and uses it to print a large "BART" on the grass.  After getting in trouble from Principal Skinner, Bart is forced to call Homer.  While not looking forward to hearing what Bart did now, Homer takes a moment to 'analyze' Skinner and determines he'll work out and invites him to dinner.

That night, Selma gets butterflies and finds herself unable to approach Skinner.  Ultimately, its Patty that Skinner sets his eyes on first, and immediately falls in love with her.  He takes no time to invite her to a date, which Selma forces her to agree to on the grounds that at least one of them has a chance to not be lonely.  The night turns out terribly, though Skinner's stern demeanor towards former students who've washed up impresses Patty.  She invites Skinner to further meetups.  Meanwhile, high on love, Skinner lets the school fall into anarchy, particularly letting Bart roam free and unpunished as he goes to the boy for help with Patty.

It comes to a head when Selma learns that Skinner is going to propose to Patty.  Feeling desperate, Selma agrees to go on a date with Homer's next candidate for a date: the ever-lovable Barney Gumble.  Seeing this, Patty is troubled, even more so when Skinner proposes to her (using the same trick Bart did with the sodium tetrasulfate) in the school's bell tower which magically appears for this episodes and magically disappears thereafter.  Patty rejects, however, as because she and Selma are twins, they share a close bond that no marriage could ever be able to break (never mind that Selma marries several times in later episodes).  Skinner understands, and the two agree to break up.

While Patty and Selma reconcile (allowing Selma to hastily end her "date" with Barney), Skinner realizes what has become of the school during the time he was distracted.  He vows to get the school back under his control, and does so the next day by finally punishing Bart by having him re-sow the entire field.

Quick Review
Principal Charming is the first of what turns out to be many episodes chronicling Selma Bouvier's attempts to avoid loneliness.  Unlike other episodes later on, this episodes does not have Selma hooking up with whoever will have her, instead its her sister Patty that gets into a relationship.  Even still, it establishes a character trait of Selma's that will be revisited time and time... and time again.

The episode introduces Groundskeeper Willy, the irritable Scotsman who is the school's custodian and, well, groundskeeper.  It also introduces, briefly, the ever blind and feeble Hans Moleman.  That little bit of history out of the way, the episode itself was solid, a few unenjoyable moments here and there but there were some good parts as well.  The entire sequence where Homer searches for a man Terminator-style was the best part of the episode, but the laughs slow down a bit as the focus shifts to the twins again.  Its a good episode though not one of Season 2's best.

Final Score: 7.7