Singin' in the Lane (S29, E07-625)

Recap: Homer and Moe start up a new version of the Pin Pals bowling team, who ultimately have to try and defeat a team comprised of manipulative hedge-fund douchebags.

Review: Well, first off, its an inoffensive episode, so that's a plus.  Like the previous episode, it tries to ride on the success of a classic episode, in this case Team Homer.  Unlike the previous episode, it doesn't make every attempt to ruin or otherwise dismantle Team Homer's supposed legacy, using the Pin Pals only to set up a bowling storyline.

The episode is paced oddly.  As Team Homer already did a "they play against teams comprised of Springfield citizens", this episode felt the need to do it again to progress the plot but rushed through it so that it wasn't just a complete retread.  The main storyline focuses on their new opponent, the hedge fund team who hustle Moe, befriend Bart and irk Lisa just enough to make her a subtle hero yet again.  The episode doesn't really do a good job at setting these plotlines up; Bart and Lisa's plotlines feel rushed and the plot with Moe attempts to take a sideturn at the end which just falls flat.

Oh, and the jokes were half okay and half not that great.  Most of the misses involve the hedge fund team, they just weren't that funny.  The episode ends up okay, but it definitely could've been better with what it tried to do.

Final Score: 6.8

My Fare Lady (S26, E14-566)

Not even Lenny is immune to the cruelties of today's modern old ladies.

Plot Summary
Marge has a busy day ahead, needing to drive the kids everywhere.  Homer is aware that his help is needed for this mundane task, so he quietly escapes and is able to get a drink into his system at Moe's before Marge can do anything to stop him.  Undeterred, Marge is able to drive her kids to every needed destination that day.  While filling up at a gas station, she meets someone who turns out to be an Uber driver "a social media-based ride-share service", using a large smile on his car's grill to indicate his service.  Realizing she, too, can be paid for driving people around, Marge decides to opt in as a driver herself.

Meanwhile, Moe has in his possession a ticket to a theatre show, but can't leave the bar unattended on a Saturday night.  Homer agrees to take his place, but while Moe is gone, Homer, Lenny and Carl decide to find ways to get Moe some profit.  They set up a "ladies night", where ladies drink free under the premise that guys will also come in to court these ladies and spend money on drinks, thus profit.  Unfortunately for them, only ladies show up.  Not only are they giving up alcohol for massive losses, but the ladies start fighting amongst themselves, turning the bar into a nearly unsalvageable mess by the time Moe returns.

With the bar in ruins, Moe needs a new source of income.  The three men who helped ruin Moe tell him to apply for the nuclear plant's open janitorial position, which he does successfully.  There, Moe is able to shoo away some health inspectors.  Impressed, Mr. Burns promotes Moe to supervisor of Sector 7G, where Homer is stationed.  I should say "was", as Moe notices all of Homer's mistakes there, and decides to reposition him as Mr. Burns' flower waterer, opting to not just fire Homer because they're friends.  Soon, Homer as well as Lenny and Carl find that Moe is a huge jerk when he's not serving the three of them beer.

Marge's new life as a makeshift cabbie is immediately exhausting as she fulfills the zany requests of her customers.  Cab drivers across Springfield quickly gain notice of this, and Marge in particular.  One night, Marge picks up a depressed Moe.  The two (over a song) discuss their problems and both agree that they should each quit their new jobs.  Marge is confronted by the alliance of cab drivers for taking their business, but Moe shoos them away.  Marge officially quits her new job, and Moe uses what I presume is his earnings from the nuclear plant to rebuild his bar, so that Homer and his friends can go back to tolerating Moe once more.

Quick Review
This episode is slightly better than the last couple, but that's not saying much.  Neither plot was particularly humorous.  Marge's storyline which despite the episode title was only a subplot didn't have much going for it other than a couple of unimpressive visual gags while the main storyline with Moe had some potential but didn't really do anything to laugh much about.  The bit with the cab drivers seemed like a missed opportunity as well.  Another disappointment from this season.

This is, apparently, the first and subsequently only episode in which Bart has no lines to speak.  565 previous episode Bart had at least one thing to say.  In this episode, though there were a couple of instance he could've said something, he doesn't even appear after Marge agrees to be a chauffeur.

Final Score: 6.7

The Saga of Carl (S24, E21-529)

Iceland has never seen such a dramatic chase.

Plot Summary
With the kids all hyped up over some show, Marge attempts to get some education in them by taking them to a museum... which has exhibits up about that show.  Still, she takes them to a rather boring wing all about probability, and how stupid it is to play the lottery.  Regardless, Homer buys a weekly ticket for himself, Moe, Lenny and Carl at the bar - each person providing one number for a Pick Four type game.  To their amazement, all four of their numbers are called and they win the prize money of $200,000.  Everyone is excited, especially Carl, who takes the ticket and tells the three he'll cash the ticket while they set up a celebratory party.  Homer, Moe and Lenny do just that, inviting all sorts of people.  Homer reveals he plans on using his share of the winnings to build a swimming pool - in the ground!  However, Carl never comes back.  The three decide to check out Carl's apartment but learn its been emptied out a bit and Carl has left a message saying he's going home, and goodbye forever.

Moe is particularly upset that Carl ditched them, though Lenny persists there must be a good reason.  Marge wonders where Carl is actually from, but none of the men know, which Marge chides as the guys have only really done "guy stuff" and haven't really bonded as friends.  Still, the three are able to find a clue in a picture of Carl when it barely reveals that Carl, in the picture, is at "Strokkur Geysir".  The three enlist Lisa's help, and she determines that Carl is an adopted child who grew up in Iceland, something that Carl somewhat mentioned once some time ago as what was once a passing joke.  Quickly, the three pack up to go to Iceland which, while not as icy as Greenland, is still pretty cold.  After dressing appropriately, the three learn from a passerby that the Carlson family is scorned in Iceland, showing them a written "saga" that shows that, a thousand years ago, the Carlsons were tasked to keep watch on invading hordes, but failed and Iceland was subsequently ransacked thanks to that failure.  The three are given the address of Carl's old home, and learn that, yeah, Carl did go back here, but the mansion-like home bars them from getting inside.  The three stake out nearby, and as Carl exits the gates in his car, the three give chase.  They follow Carl to a building, and when he exits it, the three make their presence known and chase after Carl, eventually paying a guy to tackle Carl for them.

Carl reveals that he planned on using the lottery winnings to purchase a missing page from his family's saga which he believes will clear their name of any shame.  Lenny still ponders why Carl didn't just tell them, and Carl is blunt: they aren't friends, they're just four guys who sit together at the bar to talk about "guy stuff", and don't really share feelings (and facts like that Carl is from Iceland) like friends are supposed to.  This sets off the no longer faithful Lenny, who attacks Carl and the two get into a fight.  Moe grabs the briefcase Carl had been carrying which he believes has the lottery money, but it turns out Carl already purchased the missing page.  Upset, Moe, Lenny and Homer leave with the page, only willing to give it back "to a friend", which devastates Carl.

Later, the three ponder if they really are friends or just guys that hang out.  Marge calls Homer to see if he retrieved the money for the pool, but Homer reveals what's happened.  Marge reasons with the three that screwing with Carl at this point isn't really going to make them feel better and that they should at least figure out what the page says.  The three relent and, thanks to Moe's pep pills, take a crash course in ancient Icelandic to translate the page.  Afterward, the three are able to decipher the lost tale: that the ancient Carlsons didn't just fail to stop the viking invasion, they willingly gave up and joined the vikings in their raids.  The three now kinda feel bad for Carl as he wasted their lottery winnings on something that would've made his family look worse.

Some time later, the three are able to gather up the entirety of Iceland to tell them about Carl Carlson, telling them about the little good deeds Carl has done for each of them over the years, and that if they can forgive Carl for wasting their lottery winnings, then Iceland can forgive the Carlsons for something their ancestors did a thousand years ago.  The Icelandic people agree, and Carl and his parents can once again be seen in public.  Carl thanks the three for what they've done, and the four are friends again, going back to Springfield to do "guy stuff".  Later, Homer does get pools for his family, albeit its just water in split-open beer kegs.

Quick Review
It was a decent episode, nothing special but it wasn't bad either.  Its a somewhat odd episode to focus on both Carl and on Iceland, but it wasn't a particularly bad combination.  Could've been funnier, but oh well.

Final Score: 7.1

American History X-cellent (S21, E17-458)

Here we go again, making a parody of another movie while forgetting to make it funny.

Plot Summary
In prison, three guards go to retrieve a prisoner: Mr. Burns.  Burns then narrates how this situation came to be, going back to when he forces his employees to give him a decent 4th of July party.  Homer, Lenny and Carl can't deal with Burns' tyranny so while they're at Burns' manor for the party the three sneak into Burns' wine cellar and get drunk on top-notch wine.  The three make their way into an art room where they make a mess.  The cops are called in, where Lou notices one of the paintings is stolen, and Burns is arrested for grand theft.

Burns goes to prison for his misdeed, and he gives control of the plant to Smithers, who decides to be a much nicer boss than Burns was.  He even goes out to have a drink with Homer, Lenny and Carl but when Smithers goes out to take a call, he hears the three making fun of his generous nature behind his back.  Smithers turns sour on the three of them, losing faith in humanity in the process, and works the three of them like dogs.  They get tired of this and decide to bust Burns out of prison, because even he'd be better than Smithers at this point.  Burns, in the meantime, is met by a large, The Green Mile-like cellmate who cleanses Burns of his evil and makes him a born-again Christian.

Meanwhile, Bart is asked by Marge to spend time with Lisa, who is working on an ant farm.  Bart tries to help out, but the ant farm is ultimately shattered as the two bicker over it and the dog swoops in to eat every ant that comes out, save one.  The two team up to take special care of the final ant, but they realize its final days are near, and let it loose outside, but the dog comes to eat that one up as well.

Homer, Lenny and Carl disguise themselves as guards somehow and enter the prison to retrieve Burns, who now isn't willing to leave the prison.  His cellmate tries to stop them as well, but Burns reveals not all of his evil was purged during the cleansing and he now wants to leave with the others.  So, Burns take back the plant from Smithers and he wonders what poor soul his old cellmate is trying to convert now.

Quick Review
This episode has some moments, but overall its nothing special.  The sidestory with Bart and Lisa was particularly unnoteworthy and given how short it is, it seemed pretty unnecessary to have at all.  The episode is at its best when Smithers takes over the plant, but even then the comedy is limited.

Final Score: 6.8

Once Upon a Time in Springfield (S21, E10-451)

...and there's Mel, hiding in that tree looking at them like a creep.

Plot Summary
Once again, Krusty the Klown's TV show is lagging in ratings and once again network executives believe they know the reason: Krusty's show doesn't draw in the young girl audience, and to combat that they're going to introduce a co-star for Krusty intended to draw said audience in.  Krusty is, of course, upset over this change, but deals with it rather than getting fired altogether.  The new co-star is Princess Penelope, a young woman making her showbiz debut.  He act, which includes a horse with a horn strapped on to make it resemble a unicorn, is beloved by young girls and they flock to the newly formatted show leaving little room for Krusty's act, or the boys who like said act.

With Penelope in full bloom, Krusty becomes washed up (again).  However, he gathers himself and storms into Penelope's room to make a final stand.  Penelope, though, admits that she's in love with Krusty, becoming a huge fan of his when she was 12, and starts making out with him.  Krusty just goes with the flow, and simply lets his show become Penelope's princess hour with him happily joining her.  Bart and Milhouse can't deal with this, especially when they see Krusty propose to Penelope on air.  The boys vow to stop that wedding so they can actually watch something decent at 4:00 PM.

Meanwhile, Homer, Lenny and Carl are miffed that Mr. Burns has taken away their break time donuts to save money.  As they complain about it at the bar, a man representing Capital City's nuclear plant informs the three he's looking for more workers for his plant.  He gives the three a tour of the plant, and shows them all the perks they could have if they work for him.  The three are impressed, but are spied upon by Smithers who informs Mr. Burns that his three tug of war members are about to turn.  One night, as the three are about to move their things to Capital City, Mr. Burns meets them in the parking lot and promises to bring back their daily donut time, using a specially crafted donut made from ingredients that don't really exist elsewhere.  Once Burns turns down a health plan so they can have a second such donut every day, the three are sold and stay at Burns' plant.

The wedding ceremony comes, with Krusty's father doing the honors.  Bart and Milhouse show up and present to Penelope a couple of Krusty's ex-wives who now hate the Klown for how he treated them.  This doesn't bother Penelope at all, but it does get to Krusty, who realizes he couldn't let himself treat Penelope the same way in the future, and calls off the marriage.  Some time later, Penelope - who has since quit the show - is doing street shows in Paris where Krusty finds her and admits he still wants to be with her, and the two become a couple again as the episode thanks fans for 20 great years and, in a bold faced lie, states the best is yet to come.

Quick Review
This episode started off really strong but faded gradually until the last couple of minutes where there was barely any comedy left.  Luckily for it, the comedy that starts the episode off was really good.  The subplot featuring Homer and his pals was pretty decent but too short to really hit a mark.  The main plot, which starts as basically another "Krusty gets replaced by a new thing" still works pretty well and the latter half is still pretty decent, poor ending aside.

Final Score: 7.8

The Devil Wears Nada (S21, E05-446)

Those are some pretty hot Carls she's got.

Plot Summary
At the nuclear plant, the supervisor of Homer, Lenny and Carl is retiring.  The trio is going to miss the guy as he let the three of them get away with a lot.  Mr. Burns finds the three and informs them he's going to simply promote one of them to supervisor, choosing the least-incompetent one of the bunch: Carl.  Homer and Lenny are initially thrilled, but Carl realizes his career potential and immediately forces the two back to work.  Carl quickly moves up the corporate ladder, and forces Homer to be his assistant or face termination.

Meanwhile, Marge and her friends get inspired by a lewd police calender and decide to do one of their own.  While the other women are alright with showing off their bodies, Marge wants to remain conservative.  Of course, Marge is also by far the hottest woman of the group so the calender photographer gets Marge drunk on wine.  Now, Marge is more than willing to show off some skin, and lots of it.  Some time later, the calenders come out, but each months only features more and more scintillating pictures of Marge.  Marge is somewhat embarrassed by this, but upon finding out that she's being generally praised for her work, Marge accepts it and gets pretty turned on as well.

So now, nights at home become complicated.  Marge wants to snuggle with Homer pretty badly, but Homer is so worn out with his new duties he falls asleep every time.  After several failed attempts, Homer finally makes time for Marge, taking her to a fancy hotel, but as the two start to get going there, Homer gets a call from Carl informing him that they're going to "Fission Week" in Paris.  Which also means no time at all for snuggling.  The next morning, Homer hastily heads for the airport to avoid Carl's wrath, while at the same time avoiding Marge's wrath, now upset she can't get the satisfaction she needs.  She throws a conveniently nearby croquet mallet which unfortunately hits Ned Flanders in the head.  Marge apologizes and, to make up for it, invites him and his boys for dinner.

In Paris, Carl gets into a relationship with an easy French woman and eventually tells Homer to extend their stay in Paris indefinitely, worrying Homer as he wants to go back to Marge eventually.  Meanwhile, with Bart and Lisa having other engagement while Rod and Todd are grounded, Marge ends up hosting dinner for just Ned alone.  Marge's whose libido is still raging from weeks of forced celibacy, starts getting turned on even more by the hunky Ned, though she's barely able to hold off on her instincts for the time being.

A short time earlier, Homer reveals to Carl over the phone that he flew back to Springfield.  Carl threatens to fire Homer if he doesn't come back, but Homer has a trump card: he knows that woman Carl's been seeing is the wife of France's President, and he'll blow open a huge scandal if Carl doesn't let him be with Marge.  Carl relents, and Homer blissfully relieves himself of his duties.  At home, Marge nearly gives in to her desires again, but sees a picture of Homer reflected in Ned's eye, and is able to restrain herself once more.  Outside, Homer arrives in time to see Marge seeing Ned off, and though he's initially suspicious, he trusts Marge and says hi to his "worst friend" before grabbing Marge and running upstairs to finally, at long last, snuggle.

Quick Review
This ends up being a good episode overall.  Homer's story provides some good entertainment throughout, especially at the beginning, while Marge's story picks up near the end, so it balances out to be one of the early season's better episodes.

Final Score: 7.6

Coming to Homerica (S20, E21-441)

So is he part Norwegian or friends with one or did one save his life or what?

Plot Summary
Krusty learns his restaurant's burger is the unhealthiest in the nation, so he decides to roll out a vegetarian option where the burger is made from barley.  It's a raving success across town... until people start getting sick from the burgers.  Its learned that the barley in the burgers are tainted, so Kent Brockman investigates in the now heavily Norwegian Ogdenville, where a farmer admits a rat got caught in the grinders and that this happens all the time, unaware that the interview is being aired live.  Immediately, Ogdenville's barley industry comes to a crashing halt and the entire town goes under.  They leave to find new opportunities, and end up in Springfield where they're willing to do construction and other unsavory jobs for people at a nominal price.

At first, Homer and the other Springfield residents are happy the Ogdenvillians are doing the crap jobs for them, but the sheer quantity of them starts to become a problem.  Hospitals are overrun with Ogdenvillians who are injured from their work.  Moe makes a killing selling them "Aqua Vit", so concentrated in alcohol Homer can't handle a single glass.  Bart injures himself trying to one-up an Ogdenville kid in skateboarding, and Homer gets fired from still being drunk on the Aqua Vit.  With the problem still growing, the town has a meeting where they decide to ban the Ogdenville immigrants.

Of course, this is near impossible to do with just Chief Wiggum and Lou on watch.  A vigilante group is formed to help, but little gets accomplished with them.  Mayor Quimby gets the idea to build a wall to keep them out, but with nobody in Springfield really capable of building a wall, the mayor agrees to let the Ogdenvillians help build the wall designed to keep them out.  During the construction, several Springfieldians take a liking to the Ogdanvillians, so much so that when the wall is complete, everyone in Springfield just stands there, not really knowing what to do.  Fortunately for them, the Ogdanvillians built a door in the wall to allow them back in easily, and both groups become fast friends again, having a big Ogdanville-style party to celebrate their friendship.

Quick Review
This episode just got weirder and weirder as it went along.  An episode featuring a typically lame jab at illegal immigration with a decidedly strange twist to make those immigrants of Norwegian descent.  Its an odd combination, one that rarely worked in this subpar episode that once again eschews comedy for the lame attempt at storytelling.

Final Score: 6.2

Take My Life, Please (S20, E10-430)

Only HD could capture the alternate bastardization of The Way We Was.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons visit the Springfield Wall of Fame, where a new plaque is about to be added to it: the plaque of one Vance Connor.  Homer is particularly unhappy with this, as it turns out Homer had run against Vance for Senior Class President back in high school, but apparently lost after Homer badly botched a debate against Vance.  Homer hopes that Vance has some secret agony, but he doesn't, which depresses Homer more.  Even worse, at the bar Lenny and Carl reveal that in high school, they were secretly tasked by Principal Dondelinger to dispose of the ballot box containing the results of that election.  Later that night, Homer grabs Lenny and the two dig up the box where Lenny had hidden it.  Homer takes it home and Lisa counts up the results, and finds out that Homer, in fact, won that election.

Angered, Homer locates the now retired Dondelinger demanding answers for that.  Dondelinger admits that he did dispose of the box but, despite his disdain for Homer, actually did it spare Homer's feelings.  At that time, Dondelinger had overheard some jocks planning to vote Homer in just so they can laugh at how big of a joke he is, and decides to ensure Vance's victory to spare Homer ridicule.  Homer's feelings towards the incident are now very mixed, but he's still left wondering what would've happened had Dondelinger let the matter be.

The family goes to Luigi's for dinner, where Homer openly continues his depression.  Luigi overhears, and tells the family that he employs a guy who stirs a sauce in such a way that staring into the cause can create illusions of "what if" scenarios.  Homer decides to take advantage and looks into the sauce.  In this new reality, Homer does win the election, but before any jocks can mock him, Lenny and Carl stand up for Homer and soon Homer becomes very popular.  Soon, Homer becomes so popular he can take any girl he wants to the prom, and he chooses the girl he's been eyeing for some time: a cheerleader named Debbie Pinson.  Lisa tries to exclaim that Homer's life would've been worse because he didn't end up with Marge, but the vision continues to the prom, where Homer finally sees Marge, and dumps Debbie right away to talk to Marge who, in this reality, is quite smitten with the Senior Class President.  The two walk to Marge's house afterward and become a couple.  Homer walks home from there where he's met by Mr. Burns, who is impressed by Homer's school standing and offers him a job at the plant, albeit in a slightly better sector.  Now, Lisa wants to make the claim that Homer's life would've been the same anyway.  However, now the vision moves to that reality's present.  A much livelier Abe Simpson lives in the standard Simpson home, but Homer himself lives in a giant mansion next door.  As regular Homer had predicted, Marge is in fact hotter in this alternate reality, and because this Homer had remembered to use protection, the two never had any kids.  Marge half-assedly tries to convince Homer (and herself) that the kids are what make their current reality the better of the two, but Homer isn't buying it, and laments the trainwreck that has become of his life.

Homer is now more depressed than ever, but Marge and the kids take him back to the Wall of Fame where Homer now has a plaque on it for being a class president-elect (unknown to Homer, someone, guessing Bart, removed Seymour Skinner's plaque to make room for Homer's).  Homer begins to cheer up, especially after some guy and his kid look up to newly notable Homer, and Homer feels like he's going to be okay, even though the family plan on going to a Korean barbecue which sells meat that can predict a time of death.

Quick Review
There might of been a point where the series moving to HD would've been hailed as a triumphant moment.  Unfortunately, the series had begun to falter even before HD had even taken off as anything.  With the long awaited switch to HD comes a new opening sequence.  The new sequence shoves in many characters and their now-caricatured manners, Homer now being hit by Marge's car instead of him successfully evading it because "lol homer get hurt, be funny", and them now owning a flat screen TV instead of their old one that now sometimes falls off the wall at the end of the sequence.  Personally, it seems pretty try hard to me, and a lot of people dislike the lack of fluid animation this sequence has compared to the old one, but whatever.  Its just an opening sequence.

The episode itself is nothing special.  The plot was pretty decent, if not a bit odd.  "Hey, Homer finds out that he got cheated in high school, but then finds out what life would've been like if hadn't, and its actually better, so now he has to just deal with it.  Except he can't so his family sets up a deception so Homer can stop feeling so bad about himself".  That's pretty much what the episode was, and yes the continued lack of joke quantity (and quality) is a continued problem that also plagues this episode.

Final Score: 6.3

Margical History Tour (S15, E11-324)

"In the morning, you'll be as good as new... or dead!
But the important thing is, we'll know."

Plot Summary
Marge takes Bart, Lisa and Milhouse to the library as the kids are writing papers on historical figures.  However, the library mostly houses bums now (including Homer apparently), and holds nothing of educational value.  Marge decides to step up and help the kids out with the papers herself thanks to her somewhat competent knowledge of history.

Henry VIII
For Milhouse, Marge tells the story of King Henry VIII (Homer), who so desperately wants to conceive a male heir.  His first wife, "Margerine" of Aragon, bears a daughter, Mary I (Lisa).  Since Margerine is the daughter of the King of Spain, Henry can't simply execute her, so he instead invents and implement divorce, though Margerine still gets Ireland in the settlement.  Henry then goes to marry Anne Boleyn, but when she births a daughter she gets executed.  Soon, Henry goes through a cycle of marrying and executing women when they fail to birth boys, sometimes not even that much.  Years later, Margerine meets with an ailing Henry, who regrets his decisions, and asks Margerine to be with him.  Margerine instead suffocates Henry with a pillow.  It is to be noted that this story isn't historically accurate, but you probably knew that already.
Individual Score: +0.2

Sacagawea
For Lisa, Marge tells the story of Lewis (Lenny) and Clark (Carl), pioneers who set out for western pastures.  They received the aid of a Native American tribe, who offer a young girl as a guide to the land: Sacagawea (Lisa).  Though Sacagawea's oft-obvious advice seemingly goes ignored by the two rather inept adventurers, they still make some progress.  However, the two increasingly grow weary of Sacagawea's constant opinions and nagging, and she decides to take their leave.  Soon, Sacagawea runs afoul of a mountain lion, but is saved when Lewis and Clark arrive and scare off the beast by making themselves appear large (advice Sacagawea gave them earlier).  The three reunite and together reach the rainy shores of Eugene, Oregon.    As thanks for the help, Lewis and Clark preserve Sacagawea's memory in a dollar coin that can be exchanged for a real dollar at the bank.  It is to be noted that this story isn't historically accurate, but you probably knew that already.
Individual Score: +0.5

Mozart
Bart is uninterested in all of this, but Marge tries to drive his interest in a 'badass rocker that lived fast and died young': Mozart!  In this story, Mozart (Bart) is a gifted musician with a prankster's mindset, much to the annoyance of Salieri (Lisa), who in this story is Mozart's sister for an odd though slightly convenient reason.  Mozart's work is continuously praised while Salieri's is ignored.  Salieri has enough and decides to plot Mozart's downfall.  Learning that the crowd's pleasure is directly tied to the Emperor's (Mr. Burns), Salieri slips a sleeping agent into the Emperor's wine, causing him to fall asleep during one of Mozart's compositions.  The crowd follows suit, and Mozart is now considered washed up.  He takes the news rather hard, and goes into a deep depression that results in him becoming deathly ill.  Salieri admits her guilt to a dying Mozart, but he takes comfort that, in dying young, his music will forever remain more popular than Salieri's.  Still, Salieri now considers herself the best living composer around and decides to impress the Emperor with a new composition, however the Emperor has grown to love a new composer: Beethoven.  Salieri snaps and admits herself to an asylum.  Lisa points out this story is similar to the inaccurate play/movie Amadeus, but Homer throws in a Animal House reference, and the episode concludes.
Individual Score: +0.3

Quick Review
As you can tell, I didn't find any of the three segments very funny, with the Sacagawea segment just barely beating out the other two in terms of quality.  As is my continuing fear with these anthologies, I think more effort was put into telling this inaccurate historical tales than making sure the jokes within said tales were both plentiful and comical, and as a result the episode as a whole didn't have much in the way of quality bits.

Final Score: 6.4

Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge (S13, E22-291)

Should I make a Stewie Griffin reference here?  Oh, I guess I already did.

Plot Summary
Springfield's in the middle of another massive heat wave.  Everyone is running air conditioning (except the Simpsons who continue to not have one), which is taxing the city's power.  Homer attempts to add some winter by plugging in a dancing Santa, but it proves to be a breaking point for the power grid.  The entire town loses power, which prompts a looting spree so grand nearly everyone loots while everyone gets looted, and the police aren't even close to being able to slow it down.

The next day, Lisa finds out that a looter stole her dolls, and Homer decides to investigate.  He figures out (well, moreso it lands on his lap) that Jimbo Jones took the dolls and he takes Jimbo to jail.  Realizing just how good it feels to be in a position of authority, Homer decides to start up a security team called SpringShield consisting of him, Lenny and Carl.  They do a good job, apparently, and the town feels safe again thanks to them.  Mayor Quimby attempts to defend Chief Wiggum but witnesses another act of incompetence and, in a fit of rage, removes Wiggum and puts Homer and SpringShield in charge of the city's law.

Homer and his team shut down some weird scheme by the Fat Tony mafia to substitute toy poodles with ferrets, but they get out of jail rather quickly and announce that they'll gun down Homer if he doesn't leave town by noon the next day.  Homer seeks backup, but nobody is willing to help.  Lenny and Carl even lock themselves in jail, leaving Homer all alone against several mobsters.  Noon approaches and Homer confronts them, but just before either he or the mobsters open fire, a mobster gets hit for a shot from an unknown spot.  The mafia attempt to figure out who is shooting, but they all get shot in the arm, unable to fire themselves.  Homer is glad to survive, and decides to give up his badge to the next person that comes along, coincidentally enough that person being Wiggum.  However, Wiggum insists he wasn't the mystery shooter either.  As he, Homer and Marge ponder that mystery, its revealed that, yes, it was Maggie that fired the shots with a rifle, with her parents none the wiser.

Quick Review
I'm pretty sure I said this last time, but: the ending was stupid.  Maggie held a gun for a shot she never intended to make several seasons ago in a mystery I'm fairly sure was meant to troll its participants more than anything else, and now here we are in Season 13's finale, she's a professional sniper.  I mean, what the hell is this?  Between this and the previous episode (and several other recent ones), it seems as though the writing staff have no realistic way to end episodes that feature life and death situations and instead use senseless cop-outs like "its an edgy reality show really" and "he got saved by his baby daughter who is a sniper now".  This ending just bugged me, especially since it was gaining a little steam with the inclusion of the mafia, and the episode puts a disappointing cap on what has been a disappointing season.

Final Score: 6.4

She of Little Faith (S13, E06-275)

Yep, Lenny and Carl are Buddhists too, because why not.

Plot Summary
Homer and Bart attempt to shoot off a model rocket, but the attempts literally blow up in their faces.  When Ned Flanders joins in on the fun, doing so successfully at that, Homer has enough and hires his college nerd pals to build him a rocket.  This rocket actually gets off the ground, but he loses control of it and the rocket shoots into the church, taking out windows and starting a fire within, essentially ruining it.

With the church already strapped for funds, Reverend Lovejoy is forced with no other option than to accept aid from Mr. Burns of all people.  Burns enlists Lindsay Naegle to remodel the church into a place full of advertisements and other such sacrilege so that the church can earn the needed money.  Lisa is extremely outraged over all of this, and disgusted that most other patrons are okay with these changes, and decides to never return to this church again.

Though Lisa still believes in God, she is still adamant in finding a new way of following Him.  Despite this, Marge is scared that Lisa's soul is in danger for her no longer going to church.  Lisa's search for a new religion takes her a Buddhist temple, where Lenny, Carl and Richard Gere all are.  They convince her to take up Buddhism and its belief of finding inner peace.  Lisa announces this rather publicly, which further worries Marge.

After the church gets their profits from Burns' meddling, Lovejoy turns his attention to Lisa, and convinces Marge to use Christmas to bring Lisa back to Christianity.  The allure of Christmas cookies and what is apparently a wrapped up pony present (though its just Ralph and Milhouse) nearly brings Lisa back over, but she sees Lovejoy spying in from the outside, and runs off.  Lisa goes back to the Buddhist temple to tell Gere about what happened.  Gere tells Lisa that Buddhists can actually celebrate any holiday, as Buddhism is about inner peace, and respects the diversity and love of other religions.  Lisa goes home, and lets the family know that although she'll remain Buddhist, she'll still 'pay lip service' to Christianity by going back to church and celebrate Christmas and the family is okay with this, I guess.

Quick Review
This episode was good when it wasn't focused on Lisa.  It was terrible when it did.

There were a few things that worked well, like the opening plot with the rocket and a few interactions among the non-Lisa members of the family.  However, Lisa's religion quest provided very little humor, and Richard Gere's appearance did little to add humor to that plot line either.  It dragged down an otherwise okay episode.

Final Score: 6.2

The Blunder Years (S13, E05-274)

Its really nice of Homer and Marge to let Moe go on like this.

Plot Summary
Marge is impressed with a new paper towel and its superior absorption ability.  She is impressed so much, she becomes enamored with the towel's advertising icon: Burly.  Homer takes note of this and teams up with Bart and Barney to fool Marge into thinking Burly's model is coming over for dinner.  Marge is hurt (emotionally) by the prank, so Homer decides to make it up to her by taking her out to dinner and a show.  As Marge forgives Homer for what she admits was a pretty good prank, a hypnotism show begins.  The hypnotist gets off to a slow start, what with people like Smithers telling the guy his father died when he was a baby and all.  Still, the hypnotist gets a willing participant in Homer.  He has Homer recall a memory from when he was 12, but doing so causes Homer to scream relentlessly even after being snapped out of hypnosis.  The family takes Homer home, but he still can't stop screaming.

The next day, Lenny and Carl bring Homer back from work, as his screaming has ruined both nap time and quiet time.  Carl suggests that Homer might have awakened a previously repressed memory, so they all get to unveiling Homer's memory.

Homer, 12 years old, went hiking with, coincidentally enough, Lenny and Carl.  Moe even joined the three, and in the present day he joins everyone with telling the story.  The four go camping one night, and talk about the future, including the nuclear plant, going full blast somewhat nearby.  The next morning, the four go to the quarry, but its looking rather shallow and muddy.  Homer is the only one who actually dives in, and hurts himself falling into the shallow, muddy water.  Present day, Moe believes this is why Homer is screaming, but Homer continues recalling the memory.  As young Homer recovers from his fall - and his friends leaving the scene - he investigates why the quarry is so shallow, and finds that the inlet pipe is clogged.  He unclogs it, releasing a surge of water.  When Homer recovers, he finds that a corpse has been thrown out and fallen ontop of Homer, just rotting and decaying in front of him.  The mystery behind Homer's trauma is solved, but it opens up a new mystery: why was there a corpse in the quarry in the first place?

Bart proclaims this a Simpson mystery, leaving Lenny, Carl and a distraught Moe out of it.  The family goes to the quarry under the presumption that because Homer never told anybody about the body it would still be there.  Chief Wiggum joins in the search, and with the help of several rolls of Burly paper towels, the quarry is drained.  The body is now just a decayed skeleton, so the Chief and the family go inside the pipe to learn where it leads.  They end up in Mr. Burns' office at the plant, where Burns realizes that, at long last, the truth must be known.

The body is that of Waylon Smithers Sr., the father of the current Smithers.  Burns insists he didn't kill Smithers Sr., and has a film that will prove his innocence.  In the film, the core is about to undergo a meltdown, but Smithers Sr. sacrifices his life to stop it and save the town, leaving his infant son Smithers Jr. in Burns' arms.  As cover ups were all the rage at the time, Burns tossed Smithers Sr.'s corpse into his corpse hatch.  Smithers Jr. overhears this story and is at least glad to know that his father died a hero.  Hopefully, the story Burns told young Waylon about his father being killed by a group of Amazon women didn't affect Jr. in any notable way.  The Simpsons go home, Homer taking Smithers Sr.'s skull as a memento for some reason, and Homer and Marge humor Moe, who claims to have found key clues in the mystery that had already been solved.

Quick Review
This was a pretty good episode.  The scenes involving Marge's obsession with Burly early on were great, an excellent way to start the episode.  Once the plot focused on Homer's trauma and the murder mystery, the laughs died down a bit but characters like Moe provided enough entertainment to keep the episode from falling apart.

Final Score: 8.1

Homer the Moe (S13, E03-272)

Yep, being a bartender must be fun made out of fun.

Plot Summary
Bart is digging a hole for some reason, and Chinese spies are starting to suspect Bart is trying to dig his way to China.  That's the lame story Homer is trying to tell at the bar, which frustrates poor Moe.  Tired of Homer's stupidity, Barney's current sobriety, and whatever annoying things Lenny and Carl do, Moe has gotten worn out on bartending.  He decides to go back to his old bartending school, Swigmore University, and has Homer tend to his bar in the meantime.

As Homer garners the praise of Barney, Lenny and Carl for his carefree style of bartending, Moe returns to Swigmore and meets with his old professor.  Moe is informed that the reason behind his fatigue is that his bar is, as Moe put it, a craphole, and that remodeling the bar could reinvigorate him.  Just like that, Moe returns to Springfield and begins sprucing up the bar with the help of some ultra hipster designer named Formico.  Formico transforms the bar into one full of post-modern decor and the bar is renamed to simply "m".  Homer and his bar mates give the new bar a try but its just too weird for them.  Homer confronts Moe and tries to get him to change it back, but Moe instead has him thrown out.

Homer, still upset at Moe, decides to build a tavern in his own garage, forcing his family to help refresh him and his bar mates.  Meanwhile, Moe has trouble getting along with his new patrons, as their snobby, hipster demeanors doesn't mesh well with Moe at all.  The ghost of his now late professor somewhat mocks Moe by telling him that even though the bar has been spruced up, Moe has cost himself his regulars, and the tip jar is still as empty as ever.  Moe regrets what he's done and goes to make amends with Homer and the others, but overhears them enjoying themselves at Homer's house and investigates.

Moe finds them at Homer's new bar enjoying a live performance from R.E.M. (whom Homer had duped into playing there), though Homer avoided legal troubles by proclaiming it as a "Hunter's Club" instead.  Moe, now mad at Homer, points out that hunting clubs must go hunting regularly and Homer, still mad at Moe, does just that.  Homer goes out to hunt a turkey.  Lisa tries to stop him, but Homer won't listen.  Moe and Lisa meet up and the two agree to stop Homer from shooting a turkey.  They do so, but Homer accidentally shoots Moe in the leg as a result.  Afterward, Homer and Moe make up, Moe's bar returns to normal thanks to the quick handiwork of professional contractors, and Moe and the Simpsons as well as R.E.M. have some kind of tofu-gluten slop shaped as a turkey to appease Lisa and the alternate rock group.

Quick Review
This episode has its moments.  Moe in episodes where he's the focus usually works out pretty well, and this episode, mostly, is no exception.  I've heard people bring up similarity between this and the Season 3 episode Flaming Moe's, but other than the fact that Moe's bar gets popular, there's hardly any similarities at all.

Unfortunately, what was a pretty good episode gets dragged down with the appearance of R.E.M.  Their lines weren't funny at all, and the scene where Homer is jamming to a song of theirs was the low point of the episode for me, as is the line "that's not the R.E.M. way".  They return for the episode's conclusion but they're hardly any better there (I would say 'funnier' but that would imply there was something involving them that was funny in the first place).  They bring down this episode pretty hard which is a shame because the episode really didn't need them at all in the first place.

Final Score: 7.0

Pygmoelian (S11, E16-242)

More like 'pugmoelian', right?  I mean, right?

Plot Summary
The Simpsons go to Duff Days, a beer festival.  One event in said festival is a bartending contest, which Moe is a part of.  Though it seems he's going to lose to a well endowed female contestant, the final contest is a bum tossing and after the female contestant is too disgusted to partake, Moe is barely able to edge out victory.  As a reward, Moe's picture is to be put on the upcoming Duff calender.  When the calenders come in, though, Moe finds that his face is covered with several stickers and, after peeling said stickers off, he's pretty darn ugly.

Depressed over that, Moe takes Lenny's advice and gets plastic surgery for his face.  The idea works, and Moe becomes presentable.  With Homer's help, Moe decides to use his new looks... for revenge!  After a few successful vengeance runs, Moe turns his new eyes towards the TV studio.  He reveals that, 25 years ago, he was denied a role (Dr. Tad Winslow) on a soap opera because he was ugly.  He goes to confront the executive of the show, but his new looks coincide with the actor of Winslow demanding a pay raise combine for the executive to give the role to Moe.

Moe's new gig starts off pretty well, and he gets all the ladies.  However, Moe is able to get a peek at future storylines for the show, and is angered to learn that Winslow's character is to die, leaving Moe without the role again.  On the next taping, which is aired live apparently, Moe has Homer come in and reveal several upcoming storylines.  As it turns out, though, Winslow's death was only part of a dream sequence, but the damage is done and Moe is fired.  Angered, Moe slams the door of a set behind him, confident his new looks will get him other roles.  However, the set wobbles and falls towards him, landing on his new face.  The weight of the wall forces Moe's face to change again, but back to what it was before, an oddity Moe begins to question just as the episode ends.

Quick Review
This was another episode that had its moments but not really enough of them for this episode to be considered great.  It was also sorta weird that this episode, focused on Moe, had Homer around for so many parts where Homer just happened to be around.  Whatever.

Final Score: 7.2

Hello Gutter, Hello Fadder (S11, E06-232)

Running on the ocean floor takes a lot out of a guy.

Plot Summary
After sleeping through an entire day, Homer's next waking day goes rather badly.  After getting pulled over by police, Homer is late for work.  He's punished by Mr. Burns by eating toxic waste for the day, though Lenny and Carl are able to get him out at day's end for bowling.  Frustrated over a lot of things, Homer takes it out on the pins, getting several strikes in a row.  In fact, he doesn't stop: he ends up bowling a perfect game, and is celebrated for the accomplishment.

Homer tries to make his newfound fame last, but people don't care about a 300 bowler for long, and soon enough he's "yesterday's news".  Depressed that his life has 'peaked', Homer attempts suicide but after miraculously surviving the attempt unharmed, realizes that he still has a purpose in life.  Ron Howard inadvertently gives Homer that purpose: spending time with the kids.

However, Bart is doing just fine without Homer and Homer isn't going to be helping Lisa out any time soon.  So, Homer focuses his attention on Maggie (whom he had neglected several times throughout the episode).  Maggie has become unwilling to play with Homer, though, so Homer tries to find a way to build trust with her.  He attempts to take a child swimming course with Maggie, but again she's unwilling to get near Homer.

Driving back, Homer mistakes Maggie's motions as the idea to try the swimming exercise again at the ocean.  Homer goes into the ocean to start up another trust exercise, but is swallowed up by the current.  Maggie then is somehow able to go in and rescue Homer, which Dr. Hibbert later attributes to the acquisition of "superhuman" strength to save a parent in peril.  Still, Homer and Maggie grow closer, and Homer takes Maggie bowling, where she "bowls" a 295.

Quick Review
This was another enjoyable episode, though I admit the part where Homer attempts suicide was off-putting.  Still, a lot of the humor spot on, the appearances by Penn & Teller as well as Ron Howard were appreciated, and overall the episode is one of Season 11's highlights.

Final Score: 8.6

Homer's Enemy (S08, E23-176)

Man, he is eating that donut like a pro, goddamn.

Plot Summary
Mr. Burns sees a segment on TV regarding Frank Grimes, a man who has struggled through adversity after adversity yet was still able to work hard and acquire his degree in nuclear physics.  Inspired, Burns has Smithers find Grimes to make him his Executive Vice President.  The next day, Burns has now found similar inspiration in a heroic dog and has Smithers find it instead for that position, having Grimes be pushed off somewhere in the plant.

As it turns out, he ends up right next to Homer.  As Lenny introduces himself, Carl and Homer to Grimes, Homer immediately becomes a great annoyance to "Grimey", as Homer calls him, eating his lunch and messing with his pencils.  Frank is astonished that such an incompetent man could be the plant's safety inspector.  A turning point occurs when Homer is about to unwittingly drink acid.  Frank is able to knock it away, damaging a wall in the process.  Mr. Burns catches wind of this, learning that Frank is technically responsible, and punishes him for the damage done.  Further upset over these developments, Frank officially declares to Homer that they're enemies.

In the meantime, Bart is able to acquire an abandoned factory for a dollar in an auction.  The factory is clearly run down and dilapidated, but he 'hires' Milhouse and the two have fun within the decaying structure.  By episode's end, though, the factory does fall apart, its rats running over to Moe's for shelter.

Upset that he has an enemy, Homer gets advice from Moe and decides to bring him over to dinner, though he simply told Frank he had "something important" to tell him rather than send a formal invitation that might've been declined.  At the house, Frank notices just how much better off Homer is despite how lazy he has been.  A beautiful wife, a wonderful home, a son who owns a factory, lobsters for dinner, and having gone on several wild adventures and encounters.  Further agitated from this, Frank plainly calls Homer "what's wrong with America", as well as a fraud before taking his leave.

Homer refuses to go to work the next day because of Frank, but after talking to Marge, decides that he'll act more professional to gain Frank's favor.  Frank isn't affected by Homer's half-assed attempts, but finds that nobody will join him in pointing out that Homer is a moron.  Noting that he could die happy if he can prove to everyone in the plant that Homer is a dope, Frank notices a flier for a children's nuclear plant design contest.  Carefully carving out any reference to children, Frank plants the flier at Homer's station, hoping that he'll enter and embarrass himself in front of the plant by partaking in a children's contest.  Homer takes interest in the contest in hopes of impressing Frank, and thus Frank's plan is underway.

However, Frank's plan backfires as not only does Homer win the contest (as Lenny says, he "beat their brains out"), but gains the applause of the crowd.  Its the final straw for Grimes, as he has a mental breakdown right then and there.  He prances around the plant, promising he can be just as lazy and irresponsible as Homer, to the point where he deludes himself into believing he's Homer.  To further show he's now as 'dumb' as Homer, he tries to handle live wires with his bare hands, which electrocute him to death.  At Frank's funeral, Homer falls asleep, and his murmurs entertain the crowd just as Grime's casket descends into the ground.

Quick Review
For a time, this episode seemed to be rather controversial.  After all, it takes your real life hard-working person, pits him against lazy ol' Homer, and not only does Homer 'win', but the hard worker goes insane and eventually kills himself, and nobody even really cares.  I mean, that's pretty dark.  Its an episode that's more forgiven by younger viewers, who probably view it with a bit of nostalgia, whereas those who first saw it as adults thought it went just a bit too far, a few even considering it a "jumping the shark" moment for the series.

I'm personally in the former camp, and I'm willing to admit that nostalgic bias has a lot to do with how well I'm scoring this episode.  Homer's interaction with Grimes, Lenny and Carl's indifference to Homer's incompetence, Bart's factory subplot, these all add up to become one of Season 8's best episodes, and while the ending was indeed dark, I was not bothered by it at all.

Final Score: 10

Mountain of Madness (S08, E12-165)

"Only WHO can prevent forest fires?"  [Bart presses 'YOU']
"You pressed 'YOU', referring to me.  That is incorrect.
The correct answer is 'YOU'."

Plot Summary
Needing some excitement in his day, Mr. Burns has the plant undergo a surprise fire drill.  However, nobody at the plant is prepared for it, causing mass panic.  Eventually, more than 15 minutes later, Homer is the first to make it out of the building.  Some time later, after the plant lies in ruin, Burns laments his workers for their utter lack of teamwork.  As a result, he has everyone participate in a teamwork exercise up in the mountains.  Homer mistakenly brings his family along.

As it is a teamwork exercise, Smithers picks names out of a hat so that teams of two venture into the mountains to find a singular cabin filled with sandwiches and such, with the added incentive that the last team in gets fired.  Much to Smithers' shock, Burns is paired with Homer, who is relieved that he's on the one team that can't be fired.  Further, Smithers ends up being the last person left, and has to trek up the mountain on his own.  With that, the contest is underway.

Burns easily convinces Homer to 'cheat' their way up by use of a prepared snowmobile.  With it, they are easily the first team to the cabin.  As the two start to bond, the sharp noise of their wine glasses knocking on one another causes an avalanche to occur.  As other teams start making it to where the cabin once was, Homer and Burns attempt to get out, and do so but their jubilation causes another avalanche.

Smithers, who erroneously lets Bart and Lisa 'help' him out, is the last one to another cabin, where everyone else has gone to believing it to be the correct cabin.  It is then where its learned that both Homer and Burns are still missing, and that the cabin the teams were supposed to go to is also missing due to the avalanches.

With several more having buried the cabin further, Homer and Burns begin to suffer from cabin fever, building not snowmen, but rather 'men made out of snow', and subsequently dressing them with their own clothes.  The two then become distrustful of one another, combining with their cabin fever into full blown hostility.  Burns attacks Homer, and the battle eventually results in the cabin's propane tank igniting, turning the house into a rocket of some sort that propels it out of the snow and right next to the other cabin where everyone else is.  After everyone is relieved over the safety of Homer and Burns, Burns still reminds everyone that the exercise is still ongoing, and the rush of everyone getting in results in Lenny getting fired (though because everyone learned about teamwork, nobody got fired after all!).  Burns and Homer are relieved that everything has worked out, but their distrust for one another remains.

Quick Review
Mountain of Madness isn't as funny as I remember it being.  Sure, there are some quality bits, like the fire drill, Bart using that Smokey the Bear lookalike, Smithers' trek up the mountain.  However, the jokes die down a bit near the end of the episode and the score suffers a bit as a result.

Final Score: 8.5

Homer the Great (S06, E12-115)

One of these days, Homer will get into a No Homers Club before Glumpet.

Plot Summary
With a pipe in the basement leaking, traffic a mess and parking at the plant so bad he can only park in a spot just past his backyard, Homer's day starts off pretty much like most other days.  Then, he notices odd things about Lenny and Carl, both having great parking spots, both having luxury chairs instead of the budget stool Homer's been using, and both being unavailable on Wednesday for some mysterious reason.  Curious, Homer decides to stalk Lenny and Carl that night, and follows them to a strange, guarded building.  There he sees a bunch of men doing seemingly secret stuff, most of which comprise of Springfield residents.  Homer confronts Lenny and Carl the next day about it, and Lenny blabs that what Homer saw was the Stonecutters.  Lenny then tells Homer that there's only two ways to become a member: be a son of a member, or save the life of a member.

Being unable to save anyone's life, Homer gets angry that he is again left out of a club (remembering, as a kid, that he was also excluded from a club called "No Homers Club", which because of the technicality of its named, was still allowed to have one Homer: Homer Glumpet).  Grampa later reveals, though, that he's a member of, among other things, the Stonecutters, and Homer has his ticket in.  After a frat-level initiation, Homer becomes a member of the Stonecutters.

Using his newfound privileges, Homer gets the pipe fixed quickly, circumvents the nasty traffic, and is given roller skates to glide into work from his terrible parking spot.  Although the Stonecutters seem to be an ancient society that has its foot in how society works, like the Illuminati, its really just a secret place for men to play pool and get drunk, like the Freemasons.  To celebrate their supposed 1500th anniversary, the Stonecutters are going to have ribs.  Afraid of getting barbecue sauce on himself, Homer tries to find a bib or a napkin of some sort, and upon failing to do so uses the closest paper he can find: the "sacred parchment" of the Stonecutters, enraging everybody.  Stripped of his title and privilege, he is about to be punished by walking home naked while dragging along a "stone of shame" when everyone notices a strange birthmark on Homer shaped like the Stonecutters logo.  Now claiming Homer to be the "chosen one" meant to lead the Stonecutters into a new age, Homer is instead allowed to drag the larger "stone of triumph" to the coronation of him becoming the new leader.

While initially thrilled at the prospect of being the leader of a club, Homer soon finds its not so fun when everyone in it is so obviously kissing his ass and letting him win every game in such obvious manners.  Feeling unfulfilled, Homer gets help from Lisa, who suggests Homer uses his position to have the Stonecutters get involved in the community.  After just a few exercises in community work, the Stonecutters are so disgusted with this turnabout they think about having Homer killed.  Instead, Moe suggests a different course of action.  Soon, every Stonecutter has become a member of a new "No Homers Club", including Homer Glumpet, and Homer is left without a club yet again, though Marge is able to convince him that the 5-member Simpson club is just as great.

Quick Review
This was a fun episode given some of the absurdity of what was going on.  The Stonecutters song was a fun song, and Patrick Stewart who played the role of the leader before Homer took over did a great job as well.  With lots of jokes and humorous scenarios, Homer the Great is, well, great.

Final Score: 9.3

The Last Temptation of Homer (S05, E09-090)

Damn.  Lenny and Carl are some fine angels.

Plot Summary
Having disposed of a plant worker for daring to suggest putting in real emergency exits, Mr. Burns' attempts to replace him with a foreigner named Zutroy are met with immediate opposition from the Department of Labor, who among other things suggest Burns finally hire a woman into the plant.

Homer, Lenny and Carl are soon introduced to the new female employee: Mindy Simmons.  Homer is immediately infatuated with her, and can't get her out of his mind.  Barney suggests that Homer's attraction is merely physical and that by talking with her, he'll learn they have nothing in common.  However, the next day Homer learns that Mindy likes donuts, drinking beer and watching TV, and sleeping during work: essentially a female, non-fat version of Homer.  Desperate to stop things before they get any hotter, Homer tries to break off communication with Mindy but before he can the two are chosen to represent the plant at an Energy Convention in Capital City.

Meanwhile, Bart has trouble reading a word on the blackboard, and as such is sent to the doctor to get his eyes checked.  He's given thick glasses for a temporary bout of lazy eye, but the doctors notice and prescribe items to fix a dry scalp, fallen arches and a red throat.  The glasses, salve and gigantic shoes leave Bart looking like quite a nerd (and the spray to fix the throat made him sound like Jerry Lewis, but that didn't last too long).  For two weeks, Bart endures ridicule and the beatings from Nelson, Jimbo and the others.  Those two weeks pass, though, and Bart returns to school looking like his old self... only to get beat up by the bullies anyway.

At the Energy Convention, Homer and Mindy are crowned the King and Queen of energy apparently, and are awarded with a dinner at "the sexiest Chinese restaurant in town".  There, Homer reads a fortune cookie with tells him that he'll find happiness with a new love.  Homer decides to finally give in to fate, but gives in to tears after he and Mindy return to the hotel room.  Explaining his feelings to Mindy, she can only reply by saying Homer should only follow his heart.  Later, wearing the same red dress Mindy was wearing in some vain attempt to trick the viewer, Marge sits with Homer in the hotel room, as Homer remains faithful to his wife.

Quick Review
This was another excellent episode for the season and the best marriage-related episode thus far.  There was no real memorable moment, though the bits with Homer's guardian angel posing as Colonel Klink from Hogan's Heroes and, my personal favorite, the bit with Joeyjoejoe Jr. Shabadoo were great.

Final Score: 9.1

Last Exit to Springfield (S04, E17-076)

Homer enjoying his total victory.

Plot Summary
This episode tackles the hard, serious issue of contract negotiation.  Mr. Burns, who remembers his time as a child when there were no unions and workers who tried to steal atoms were shoved into coke ovens as punishment, refuses to accept the latest offer from the plant's union (the union head having "mysteriously disappeared" after trying to clean up the union).  Deciding to take things back into his own hands, Burns decides to eliminate the dental plan.

Coincidentally enough, its learned that Lisa requires braces, else her teeth seemingly mutate and grow large enough to pierce her head.  Homer doesn't mind paying, as he recalls the plant earning a dental plan in previous negotiations (receiving a 'battle scar' when a flap of a catering truck fell on him).  At the next union meeting, Carl notes that Mr. Burns has offered them a new contract: basically the same deal as before, but now they get a free keg of beer for union meetings.  In exchange, they lose their dental plan.  Everyone is just happy to get some free beer but, after some "extensive thinking", Homer realizes that if he loses the dental plan, he'll have to pay for Lisa's braces.  Quickly, he sways the union, helping them realize just how helpful the dental plan has been, and tears up the proposal.  Mr. Burns, again forgetting who Homer was before this point, believes Homer to be a challenging adversary in upcoming negotiations.

As Lisa gets fill-in braces with no plan (huge metal jaws that make her look rather awful), Homer and Burns begin negotiating.  In the first attempt, Homer mistakes Burns' initial kindness as Burns coming on to him, and quickly leaves.  The second attempt, where Homer is guided to Burns' home by hired goons, Homer is unable to listen to Burns because he needs to use the bathroom.  Upon Homer's return ("Did you find the bathroom okay?"  "Uh... yeah!"), Burns sends Homer away again.  Tired of these meetings, Homer (somewhat unintentionally) gets the union to go on strike.

While Burns and Smithers run the plant happily by themselves, it doesn't seem to be affecting the union any.  Deciding to try and deal a deciding blow, Burns decides to cut off all power to the town.  Though the looting and rioting in town is immediate, the union remains strong and the move does not affect them at all.  Witnessing this, Burns decides to negotiate with Homer again.  Burns this time is willing to give the union the dental plan, but under the condition that Homer resigns.  Homer more than happily accepts, and Lisa finally gets a good set of braces.

Quick Review
Last Exit to Springfield is yet another example of Season 4's glory.  So many classic bits are in this episode, from "Dental Plan!", "Lisa needs braces!", to Grampa's union busters who can really only tell long-winding stories these days, to that guy who says that opposing "me" in the union meetings, to the montage of Burns and Smithers running the plant, to each and every negotiation between Homer and Burns, this episode is packed with great moments and superb comedy.  Its one of the best episodes of the series, and it really showcases a lot of characters at their best.

Final Score: 10