Dangers on a Train (S24, E22-530)

I feel like I've reached my end.  But I haven't - Season 25 is about to start!

Plot Summary
The episode starts nine years ago, on Homer and Marge's 1st anniversary.  The two spend it at an outdoor mall where, after ditching Bart responsibly, the two have a great time, the highlight of which occurs on a kiddie train called the "Li'l Lisa", and Homer promises each subsequent anniversary will be better than that one.  Back to the present, Homer reveals to his kids that, no, subsequent anniversaries were not that good, while Lisa is somewhat miffed she got named after a toy train.  The three of them are at the outdoor mall again, though business is pretty bad.  Homer plans on spending his 10th anniversary here again, complete with the train ride, but learns that the train is being disassembled as nobody rides it anymore.  Homer quickly comes up with a new plan as he's given the train's remains by the staff there, he plans on refurbishing the train and presenting it to Marge as a surprise anniversary gift.

Meanwhile, Marge is ordering Homer some cakes online, but makes a rather odd, 'how do you even make that' mistake - instead of creating an online account on "Dolly Madison", which makes cakes, she makes an account on "Sassy Madison", a dating site for married people.  Sure enough, hundreds of forlorn men quickly message Marge.  Upon learning of her error, Marge goes through the effort of turning each man down.  Homer comes back from his trip, but because he needs to keep the train a secret, he'll feign ignorance about the anniversary.  Marge takes this the wrong way, believing that Homer has yet again forgotten about it.  Just then, one of the men she tried to shoo off on the site replied: a guy named Ben.  Upset over Homer's supposed ignorance, Marge has a mini-conversation with Ben, but quickly cuts out when Ben tries to speed things up.

Enlisting the aid of Moe's bar, his barmates, and local train expert Reverend Lovejoy, Homer begins remodeling the train.  Meanwhile, Marge comes across Ben, in person, at the store.  Trying to say out of the sight of the ever-gossipy Helen Lovejoy, the two talk privately where its revealed they both love a Downtown Abbey knock off show whose season finale is coming up.  With Homer leaving to fix a crisis involving the train, Marge goes to watch the show alone, but gets a call from Ben who is unable to watch himself because his wife is watching something else.  Marge sets up a video camera to let him watch the show with her, but afterwards Ben makes the suggestion the two should watch the show together - in person, which Marge quickly cuts off, again.

The day of the anniversary arrives, but Homer has Marge pick up a prescription of his way out of town, an act which will take all day.  He does this so that he and his pals can construct the train set around his yard, but Marge takes it as yet another sign her marriage is in the dumps.  Along the way, she keeps thinking about Ben, but tries to shrug those thoughts off despite thought-Ben's attempts to woo her.  On the way back, Marge decides to simply suck it up, but upon coming home she finally gets to see Homer's surprise for her, the kiddie train fully refurbished and set up around the Simpson home.  Marge realizes Homer does care and the two ride the train around the yard for a lap, with a congregation of people waiting to celebrate the occasion.

Just then, Ben's wife Ramona shows up to confront Marge, Ben having told Ramona about Marge and where she lived somehow.  Marge tries to clear up the misunderstanding and tells them that the secret to a good marriage is to have no secrets - though good secrets like Homer's train plan is okay.  Ben and Ramona decide to give their marriage another shot, and Homer is fine learning the misunderstanding began when Marge tried to buy him snack cakes.

Quick Review
The season ends on a marriage-themed episode, though its somewhat unique in that this time Homer is hardly to blame besides poorly handling the train secret with Marge, and that the conflict is resolved with a kind gesture from Homer that he didn't come up with in the last second, but with a plan he had started up before the conflict even began.  Its a neat twist to yet another episode like this.

The parts featuring Homer and his train reconstruction were pretty good, and I wish the episode focused more on it.  While Seth MacFarlane provided a good guest voice as Ben, the main plot involving him, Marge, and the Downtown Abbey knock off was mostly boring though Ben did provide some decent comedy at times.  The Simpson-infused reference to the show at the end was pointless as well.  Still, its not a bad episode and it did end on a rather sweet note.

Final Score: 7.0

The Saga of Carl (S24, E21-529)

Iceland has never seen such a dramatic chase.

Plot Summary
With the kids all hyped up over some show, Marge attempts to get some education in them by taking them to a museum... which has exhibits up about that show.  Still, she takes them to a rather boring wing all about probability, and how stupid it is to play the lottery.  Regardless, Homer buys a weekly ticket for himself, Moe, Lenny and Carl at the bar - each person providing one number for a Pick Four type game.  To their amazement, all four of their numbers are called and they win the prize money of $200,000.  Everyone is excited, especially Carl, who takes the ticket and tells the three he'll cash the ticket while they set up a celebratory party.  Homer, Moe and Lenny do just that, inviting all sorts of people.  Homer reveals he plans on using his share of the winnings to build a swimming pool - in the ground!  However, Carl never comes back.  The three decide to check out Carl's apartment but learn its been emptied out a bit and Carl has left a message saying he's going home, and goodbye forever.

Moe is particularly upset that Carl ditched them, though Lenny persists there must be a good reason.  Marge wonders where Carl is actually from, but none of the men know, which Marge chides as the guys have only really done "guy stuff" and haven't really bonded as friends.  Still, the three are able to find a clue in a picture of Carl when it barely reveals that Carl, in the picture, is at "Strokkur Geysir".  The three enlist Lisa's help, and she determines that Carl is an adopted child who grew up in Iceland, something that Carl somewhat mentioned once some time ago as what was once a passing joke.  Quickly, the three pack up to go to Iceland which, while not as icy as Greenland, is still pretty cold.  After dressing appropriately, the three learn from a passerby that the Carlson family is scorned in Iceland, showing them a written "saga" that shows that, a thousand years ago, the Carlsons were tasked to keep watch on invading hordes, but failed and Iceland was subsequently ransacked thanks to that failure.  The three are given the address of Carl's old home, and learn that, yeah, Carl did go back here, but the mansion-like home bars them from getting inside.  The three stake out nearby, and as Carl exits the gates in his car, the three give chase.  They follow Carl to a building, and when he exits it, the three make their presence known and chase after Carl, eventually paying a guy to tackle Carl for them.

Carl reveals that he planned on using the lottery winnings to purchase a missing page from his family's saga which he believes will clear their name of any shame.  Lenny still ponders why Carl didn't just tell them, and Carl is blunt: they aren't friends, they're just four guys who sit together at the bar to talk about "guy stuff", and don't really share feelings (and facts like that Carl is from Iceland) like friends are supposed to.  This sets off the no longer faithful Lenny, who attacks Carl and the two get into a fight.  Moe grabs the briefcase Carl had been carrying which he believes has the lottery money, but it turns out Carl already purchased the missing page.  Upset, Moe, Lenny and Homer leave with the page, only willing to give it back "to a friend", which devastates Carl.

Later, the three ponder if they really are friends or just guys that hang out.  Marge calls Homer to see if he retrieved the money for the pool, but Homer reveals what's happened.  Marge reasons with the three that screwing with Carl at this point isn't really going to make them feel better and that they should at least figure out what the page says.  The three relent and, thanks to Moe's pep pills, take a crash course in ancient Icelandic to translate the page.  Afterward, the three are able to decipher the lost tale: that the ancient Carlsons didn't just fail to stop the viking invasion, they willingly gave up and joined the vikings in their raids.  The three now kinda feel bad for Carl as he wasted their lottery winnings on something that would've made his family look worse.

Some time later, the three are able to gather up the entirety of Iceland to tell them about Carl Carlson, telling them about the little good deeds Carl has done for each of them over the years, and that if they can forgive Carl for wasting their lottery winnings, then Iceland can forgive the Carlsons for something their ancestors did a thousand years ago.  The Icelandic people agree, and Carl and his parents can once again be seen in public.  Carl thanks the three for what they've done, and the four are friends again, going back to Springfield to do "guy stuff".  Later, Homer does get pools for his family, albeit its just water in split-open beer kegs.

Quick Review
It was a decent episode, nothing special but it wasn't bad either.  Its a somewhat odd episode to focus on both Carl and on Iceland, but it wasn't a particularly bad combination.  Could've been funnier, but oh well.

Final Score: 7.1

The Fabulous Faker Boy (S24, E20-528)

Th-thanks...

Plot Summary
Principal Skinner convinces Marge to get Bart engaged in music so that he's less likely to commit pranks (though this was done once before with modest yet temporary success).  Marge agrees and takes Bart around town to find something he can take an interest in.  Eventually, the two come across a Russian man, Slava, whose daughter gives piano lessons.  Bart becomes smitten with the woman, Zhenya, and decides this is good enough for him.  Marge and Slava agree to give Bart piano lessons if Marge gives Slava driving lessons.

Of course, Bart doesn't particularly care about the piano, Bart just wants to spend time with Zhenya.  Zhenya admits she wants to gain fame and money so her father can buy a limo to drive and hopes to get it if Bart can impress people with his piano ability.  Believing this to be a "do this and I'll love you" ultimatum, Bart decides to practice on the piano.  Eventually, at a recital, Bart apparently plays rather well, gaining mass applause.  Bart credits his ability to Zhenya, and she instantly gets offers to teach piano to other people.  Its then revealed, though, that Bart actually put a CD into the piano (CD-playing pianos are actual things, when did this happen) to play the song for him.

Bart goes to see Zhenya later, but she's busy giving lessons to all sorts of kids now, and makes Bart wait outside as the house is full.  Bart realizes Zhenya never returned his feelings, but now everyone thinks he's a musical prodigy even though he's not.  Marge signs Bart up for another recital, where Bart admits he's a fraud.  This angers Marge, upset that Bart wasted his time with those lessons, and hers to teach Slava to drive poorly for no good reason.  Later, Slava goes to Marge's house to thank Marge for all she's done for him and his daughter.  Marge admits to him that Bart 'cheated' at the recital, but Slava pays it no mind, saying that even if he did cheat, he did it to win the love of his daughter, and when that failed, he admitted his mistake because he cared for Marge.  Marge reconciles with Bart, but punishes him anyway for cheating.

While this is all happening, Homer's top two hairs fall out, leaving him fully bald up there.  Panicking, Homer wears a variety of hats throughout the episode to hide this fact.  Eventually, Homer gets help from a similarly bald co-worker (voiced by Patrick Stewart) who helps Homer come to terms with his baldness.  Homer finally shows Marge his bald head, but Marge shows no shock or disgust, stating how sexy his dome has become and complimenting Homer's feigned confidence.  These kind acts rejuvenate Homer enough for his two hairs to magically regrow, leaving Marge relieved.

Quick Review
Quite a few guest stars in this one.  Bill Hader as Slava, Jane Krakowski as Zhenya, Patrick Stewart as Homer's bald co-worker, some other guy as himself (tee hee!).  A lot was being made of Justin Bieber's appearance in the episode (whose title is rather fitting), but he only provides a single, not-that-bad line preceded by a 30 second warning and followed by a "don't worry, he's gone folks" message that makes you wonder why Bieber was brought in for a guest spot to begin with.

The episode itself was unspectacular.  Homer's baldness side story was decent but was short and had little going for it because Homer's odd use of hats.  The main storyline was mostly boring, with Slava providing most of the humor for the episode, but it wasn't nearly enough to make this worth another watch.

Final Score: 6.0

Whiskey Business (S24, E19-527)

Does this really happen to anyone?  Is this really a plausible situation?

Plot Summary
At the bar, Moe is once again depressed, and he finds the distracted Homer, Lenny and Carl unable to help him out.  Having lost the will to live again, Moe decides to hang himself.  However, the wooden beam he attached the noose to breaks, catching the attention of his customers.  Homer is able to give Moe CPR, saving his life.  Moe's optimism for life is renewed, but only for a moment as he's reminded his life is still awful.  Marge barges in to yell at Homer, but Homer tells Marge what happened to Moe and she, too, becomes worried.  So much so that she decides to take Moe on a road trip to brighten his outlook, which Moe is somewhat eager to do.

Marge leaves Grampa in charge of the kids, and Bart in charge of Grampa while she and Homer take Moe to Capital City.  While in Capital City, the two take Moe to a suit store and buy Moe a nice, new suit.  Moe is ecstatic with his new suit, and afterwards decides to clean up his dusty old bar.  Refurbishing the place as "The New Moe's", Moe gets new customers to come in.  The two want to drink something relatively old, but Moe only has one such drink: homemade bourbon.  The two men love the drink, and reveal themselves as venture capitalists who love both Moe's drink and his suit, and are willing to give Moe as much money as he needs to start up a business based around the bourbon, an offer Moe easily accepts.

Meanwhile, Bart distracts Lisa by buying her tickets to a jazz show (where she becomes offended over the place's use of a Bleeding Gums Murphy hologram full of advertising, which she protests to no avail) so he can set up a wacky water slide in the backyard.  Grampa shows up and accidentally goes into the slide, taking a nasty hit at the end.  Bart is able to give CPR to the old man to save his life, but with him in bad shape Bart hides him in the basement to nurse him back to health without his parents learning he wasn't able to take care of Grampa.  Grampa comes to appreciate Bart's care, but when Bart starts questioning whether he feels better, Grampa feigns injury to spend more time with Bart.  Bart eventually catches on, but when Grampa explains his reasoning, Bart forgives him and the two bond.

Moe's new business is a success, and the venture capitalists decide to put Moe's business on the stock market.  Moe is once again happy, but tragedy occurs when a thread from his suit gets stuck in an elevator door, causing the suit to fall apart.  Late that night, Moe goes to the Simpson place in ruins, but Marge convinces him that it wasn't the suit that made his business, it was his drink and charisma.  The next day, at the stock exchange, Moe learns that, hey, the suit was a pretty big part of it, as his appearance in his normal garb scares everyone and Moe's stock goes down the drain.  So, its back to normal for Moe, though with his latest experience he decides to leave his old friend the noose alone until the holidays.

Quick Review
For an episode that had three plots, it was awfully boring.  The Lisa storyline was by far the shortest, having only two scenes, but was awful enough to drag the episode down just by itself.  Bart's and Moe's stories weren't much funnier if not less cringeworthy, and it makes for a decidedly subpar episode.

Final Score: 5.1

Pulpit Friction (S24, E18-526)

"Not this crap again", thinks the ol' Reverend.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons break their couch during their latest couch gag.  Homer quickly orders a new one just like in, but in the shipping facility in Brooklyn hoards of bedbugs sneak their way into the couch.  After it arrives, the family remains unaware of the bedbugs, and Bart even has a sleepover with some of his friends, setting up a fort from the couch's cushions.  This allows the bedbugs to sneak into those other kids, spreading them once the kids leave the house.  Soon enough, the entire town is dealing with a bedbug infestation.  Seeking answers, everyone goes to church the following Sunday in desperation, but Reverend Lovejoy brings only insomnia relief.  Just then, the ol' Parson shows up.  He institutes a second Reverend to liven things up: Reverend Elijah Hooper who helps the congregation forget about the bedbugs by helping everyone remember good times by referencing anything and everything.  It works and everyone loves Reverend Hooper, leaving Lovejoy somewhat unloved.

Eventually, the bedbugs are dealt with, and Marge gets all of the family's clothes dry cleaned, but learns in horror that her wedding dress has been mixed up with Krusty's clown suit.  Quickly, Marge goes to Krusty to learn what happened, where Krusty tells her that after using the dress in a skit, he threw it out in a dumpster.  Marge is left depressed, but Lisa reveals she dug into the matter further, learning that a garbage man picked the dress out of the dumpster, selling it to a local theatre company.  After the company goes broke from producing a failed effort of "Mamma Mia!", the dress went on auction and was purchased by a young couple.  The two meet up with the couple, who are using the dress to get unceremoniously married.  Marge is happy the dress is being put to its intended use.

Revered Hooper gets to know Homer and decides to make him a Deacon, aware that if everyone sees someone like Homer get into religion, they could as well.  The move stuns Lovejoy, who realizes church is no longer fit for him, and he quits.  Homer embraces his new job as church Deacon, especially the parts where he can put Ned Flanders into less respectable positions.  Bart is somewhat upset by this as now he can no longer team up with his father in mischief.  He sees Ned similarly upset, and the two decide that Lovejoy needs to come back to return things as they were.

Lovejoy, though, has taken a liking to his new job as a hot tub salesman.  Bart then realizes that he can start up a frog plague to force Hooper out.  Flanders takes Bart to the police over this, so a short time later Bart brings Milhouse instead to the pond alongside bags of dead bedbugs.  Using the bugs, the two are able to lure hundreds, thousands of frogs into town, causing mass panic everywhere.  Just as church comes to an end, the frogs stop the congregation from leaving.  Reverend Hooper tries to calm everyone down with more references, but the people aren't buying it this time.  Just then, rolling in on a closed hot tub is Lovejoy, who preaches out one of his typical sermons, which is powerful enough to put the frogs to sleep, ending the threat.  Hooper apparently quits, and Lovejoy is back as the only Reverend at the church, while Homer gives up his Deacon position to pull another prank with his son.

Quick Review
This ends up being an alright episode.  Homer as a Deacon has its moments, as does the scenes involving the bedbugs.  I wasn't particularly fond of Reverend Hooper, who was kinda like a microcosm of the show nowadays that I don't think the writers are even aware of, even after having Lenny say "enough of your references" to the guy late in the episode.  The wedding dress subplot was too short to be of much worth, though, and the bits at church besides Homer were lackluster as well.

Final Score: 7.0

What Animated Women Want (S24, E17-525)

I like out of context images.

Plot Summary
Narrated for some reason, the story begins with Homer getting ready to take Marge out for lunch, but not just any lunch, but to a fancy sushi bar.  This starts off well enough, but when Marge starts talking about stuff, she notices Homer isn't really listening, opting instead to stuff his face full of sushi, and that just ruins it for her.  She leaves the bar, and despite Homer's clumsy attempts to salvage things, Marge isn't listening and takes a cab home.  Homer realizes his marriage is in trouble - again! - and after fleeing becomes too exhausting, he decides to fight to win back Marge's love.

Meanwhile, Milhouse tries once again to win Lisa's love.  In the school cafeteria, Lisa asks to have Milhouse's cupcake, but Milhouse is unwilling to give it up.  Recalling a movie the 4th grade class had seen, Milhouse recalls that an abusive character played by Marlon Brando seemed to be someone ladies liked.  Milhouse decides to follow that lead and rather abruptly tells Lisa she can't have the cupcake.  Lisa is upset at first, but then comes to respect Milhouse, even swooning for him when Milhouse demands Lisa get him a milk.  Milhouse realizes the potential in this, and decides to keep acting like, well, Marlon Brando to Lisa, which actually works well for him.  Disaster strikes when Milhouse attempts to play another Brando role, which ends with the treehouse falling on him and Bart.  Lisa frees the two, and while Milhouse is alright, after seeing Lisa's concern for him, he just leaves.  Later, Milhouse admits to Lisa he can't keep being mean to her, and offers her his now four day old cupcake.  Lisa is unwilling to accept it, so Milhouse acts like a jerk again and Lisa is more than happy to eat it now.

Homer tries desperately to make things right.  His standard "flowers with an apology card" doesn't work.  He tries to do stuff on a chore list he found, but Marge tells him the list is seven years old.  Homer gives up for awhile and goes to a sushi bar to eat away his troubles, but the sushi cook comes up with a great marriage analogy with sushi, so Homer takes some home to share with Marge.  Marge, for some reason, tests Homer's resolve by seeing if he can not eat any before she does, but of course its Homer, so she still doesn't forgive him.  Homer goes to the bar to drink away his troubles, when Moe gives Homer the idea of just doin' Marge to make her forgive him.  Needing aides in this, Homer goes to an adult store to pick up all sorts of "snuggle gear", setting everything up in the garage.  Marge is kinda creeped out by this particular gesture, while Homer breaks his back after sitting on a seat-less sex chair.  At the hospital, Marge finally does forgive Homer not for what he did, but because he kept trying, and the two finally reconcile.

Quick Review
This is a weird episode, an odd twist to the all too common marriage episode.  First off, the narrator present throughout was pretty unnecessary, what was that about?  Second, the parts with the animated sushi were dumb, and the episode ending with them going through the dog's digestive system was Scully-level stupid.  The best parts of the episode were from Milhouse's storyline, but even there the comedy was somewhat limited.  Too much goes wrong with this episode, albeit in new, exciting ways!

Final Score: 6.7

Dark Knight Court (S24, E16-524)

Fruitbatman wouldn't use a gun!  ...unless it was golden age Fruitbatman
...or an alternate universe version of him.  Man, comics can be stupid.

Plot Summary
Its an Easter celebration that suddenly faces ruin when a band's musical instruments shoot out a barrage of eggs, ruining many clothes and such.  The town catches Bart laughing his ass off over the prank, and all naturally assume he's behind it.  A mob of people chase after Bart.  Mr. Burns is in its path and he and Smithers hide within the nearest building: the comic book shop.  After looking at a couple of comics, Burns reminisces over his youthful days when he would read comics until his father forbade him by buying out then burning the publisher.  Feeling nostalgic, I suppose, Burns decides to buy comic book guy's entire stock of comics.

Meanwhile, Bart successfully convinces the family he didn't do the egg prank after Maggie believes Bart is innocent.  Still, the school band that was used in the prank arrives to punish Bart in some way, when Lisa intervenes and declares a "youth court" be held to determine Bart's guilt.  As it is a legal obligation, the band is forced to leave things up to the court, and Lisa decides to defend Bart in court.  However, they need an impartial judge (i.e., someone who doesn't hate Bart), and Grampa knows just the person: Janet Reno, whom Grampa had met some fifteen years prior.  Bart and Lisa doubt this claim, and are both stunned when Reno arrives to preside as the judge for the trial.  Lisa defends Bart well through some revealing testimony, particularly when Lunchlady Doris reveals that the only way Bart could've even reached the eggs was to grab her personal key to the storeroom where the large quantity of eggs were being held.  Lisa thinks the case is won, but makes a critical slip up when she refers to Bart as a "sweet, lovable" boy.  Reno reasons that from that wording, the court would then need to hear from people who don't view Bart in such a manner, and Bart and Lisa see the trial slip away from their grasp.

Meanwhile, Burns has trouble coming across a comic book he likes, until he comes across what is basically a Batman comic book.  Inspired, Burns decides he, too, can go out into the streets to fight crime, becoming "Fruitbatman".  Smithers plays along with the old man's delusions, but things get serious when Burns actually spots a crime: Snake robbing Apu yet again.  As Burns slowly makes his way over to the crime, a worried Smithers gets their first, and offers both men $1000 to play along with Burns.  The two agree, and Burns believes himself to have stopped his first crime.  Soon, Smithers is forced to pay actors, nuclear plant workers, etc. money to act as supposed villains for Burns, who gladly takes everything at face value.

After several people testify against Bart's character, notably Moe who is now aware that it was Bart who delivered those prank calls, Lisa doesn't give up and notices Fruitbatman's exploits in a nearby newspaper.  She goes to Burns manor to talk to Burns, but the old man won't bother with her.  Angry, Smithers reveals everything to Burns, frustrated that the one time someone actually needs help, he turns her down, shaming the old man.  Later, Lisa sees Marge putting egged clothes in the washing machine, agreeing to clean up Bart's alleged mess.  However, Lisa sees an oddity: a skirt with a single egg stain on it, as though it was put there on purpose to pretend they, too, got it.  Marge corrects Lisa by telling her its a kilt, and the two quickly find their new main suspect: Groundskeeper Willie.  Willie admits to the crime, claiming religion or something for his motive and revealing that he made love to Doris to steal the key while she was sleeping so he can have it copied to steal the eggs.  However, Willie grabs his kilt back from Lisa and shreds it in a nearby wood chipper, and it seems like that's that.

Just then, Fruitbatman arrives to help Lisa out, going after Willie and, after a rather odd confrontation, is able to subdue Willie albeit just barely.  In court, with Bart's character completely demolished, Reno is about to convict Bart of the crime.  Just in time, Fruitbatman busts in to hand in Willie, and Bart is cleared of the crime.  This is distressing news to Moe, who now fears even a single phone call.

Quick Review
One half of the episode was a straight-up Batman parody and the other half had Janet Reno as a guest star (though most of it was voiced by Reno's sister because of Janet's health).  It was a recipe for disaster, yet the episode turns out to be one of the best of the season.  Why was this?  I liked Smithers' involvement in the episode, and while the lines delivered by either Reno weren't all that great, the plot with Bart and Lisa still had plenty of good moments, like the entire family bursting into laughter when Lisa implied a Simpson never gives up.  The episode still has your now-standard slip ups, like the weird Avengers parody that led to the credits, but overall it doesn't hurt the episode that badly.

Final Score: 7.7

Black Eyed, Please (S24, E15-523)

Ol' left-hookin' Ned, showin' Homer the true meaning of "an eye for an eye".

Plot Summary
Ms. Hoover takes an indefinite leave of absence for depression, and a "permanent substitute teacher" takes her place.  The Tina Fey-voiced woman, Ms. Cantwell, seems pretty nice at first, much to Lisa's elation, but when Lisa actually tries to do stuff, Cantwell becomes rather mean towards Lisa, giving her low grades and taking away accomplishment 'joeys' from the kangaroo board for no apparent reason.  No matter how Lisa tries to get Ms. Cantwell to like her, the efforts fall flat, and Lisa begins to realize that Cantwell is being a bully... a bully teacher.

Meanwhile, Homer invites himself to have breakfast with Ned one morning, where he finds Ned's now elderly beatnik parents.  Somewhat upset that Homer quickly gets along with them, Ned leaves to go on a power walk, but returns to find Homer "partaking" with Ned's parents.  As Homer continues to disregard Ned's feelings, Ned has enough and punches Homer square in the eye.  Feeling bad about it later, complete with a nightmare, Ned looks to the bible for help, and comes across a relevant passage: an eye for an eye.  Ned goes to Homer at the nuclear plant the next day and requests that Homer punch him in the eye to make them even.  Homer realizes, though, that if he refuses, he would technically be the "better man", then proceeds to gloat about it right in Ned's face, angering Ned enough to punch Homer again, this time in the other eye.

Lisa tells Marge about the teacher, and she and Homer go to Principal Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers for answers.  Chalmers reveals that Cantwell has been there for two weeks and, thus, has gained enough tenure to become unmovable.  Cantwell learns of this and harasses Lisa even more.  Seeing Lisa break apart by the teacher, Homer decides to do something about it.  He goes to Flanders' house once more and tells Ned he'll forgive him for the punching under one condition: that he wants Ned's wife, Edna.  After the commercial break, he clarifies that he wants Edna to force Cantwell to leave the school, and by doing so Homer will forgive Ned.  Ned agrees and convinces Edna to help out.

Later, at school, Edna transfers Bart over to Cantwell's class, saying he's been suddenly demoted by two grades.  Somewhat stunned, Cantwell doesn't think much of one student, but after a two minute bathroom break, Cantwell returns to find Bart has made an absolute wreck of the classroom.  Lisa tells Cantwell Bart will be gone if she will just like Lisa, but Cantwell refuses and tries to leave school.  Lisa is able to stop her in the last second to force Cantwell to admit why she doesn't like her.  After dodging the question for a bit, Cantwell blurts out its because she believes Lisa is astonishingly pretty before driving off.  With everything settled, the Simpsons host the Flanders for a barbecue where Homer and Ned start to get along again - thanks to the help of some "brownies" prepared by Ned's father.

Quick Review
The episode has its moments, and I liked how the two plots merged to solve each other at the end, cleverly putting the "Nedna" thing to use.  Beyond that, though, the episode does have some misses, particularly the odd use of Ned's parents in the episode as well as the entire nightmare sequence of Ned's.  Basically, Ned's storyline suffers enough drawbacks to hurt the episode as a whole.

Final Score: 6.9

Gorgeous Grampa (S24, E14-522)

Wrestling fans (probably) know its scripted, but they still enjoy... enjoy this.

Plot Summary
Homer becomes addicted to a reality show called Storage Battles whose primary focus is people opening up abandoned storage lockers to find value in junk.  Homer wants in on this possibly productive venture, and goes to a nearby storage facility where abandoned lockers are being auctioned off.  Homer is able to acquire one for $1000, but is somewhat disheartened when the locker he bought contains nothing really valuable.  In fact, the attire within is rather flamboyant, as though it were meant for men in drag.  Even more shocking, its learned that everything inside the locker belongs to Grampa, leaving Marge to believe that Grampa is actually gay.

Marge tries to get Grampa to admit it by not actually mentioning it, but Grampa kicks them out after hearing they opened up his storage locker.  Not wanting Grampa to die with his feelings supposedly bottled up, she helps set up a "male looking for male" "casual encounter" for Grampa at his usual duck feedin' spot.  Perhaps unsurprisingly, Smithers shows up looking for just that, leaving Grampa somewhat confused.  Marge and Homer, hiding in the bushes nearby, confront Grampa again when Grampa adamantly tells Marge he's not gay, even with Homer holding the wig he got from the closet - which he puts on Grampa for some reason.

Just then, Mr. Burns arrives, which causes Smithers to flee rather unceremoniously.  Burns recognizes Grampa in the wig as "Glamorous Godfrey", a wrestler from the 50s, taking Grampa and the rest of the Simpsons to a shrine Burns had built for the wrestler.  Grampa does reveal he was Godfrey, who was played up as a "heel", a villain who made people boo him relentlessly with his narcissism and cheating.  However, that hatred seeped in his everyday life as well and he couldn't take it anymore and retired, leaving his wrestling stuff in the locker.  Burns doesn't understand this of course, and through the power of song convinces Grampa to embrace the role of the villain and come back to wrestle.  Grampa agrees to do so, with Bart - who has taken a liking to these revelations - on his side.

Grampa returns as Glamorous Godfrey in a nostalgic wrestling show run by Burns, pulling off the routine as wonderfully as ever.  Bart likes it so much he emulates the routine... in a game of baseball, angering everyone including his parents.  Homer tries to confront Burns and Grampa over how they've influence Bart and the two decides to simply bring him in as a sidekick.

Grampa is enjoying the time he's spending with Bart, but Marge shares her worries with Grampa that Bart's taking his 'bad boy' act too far, that he's not just saving it for the ring, but is also using it in real life as well.  After seeing Bart shoot snot into a fan's autograph book, Grampa realizes Marge is right and decides to do something about it.  In the duo's next appearance, Grampa ditches his Godfrey attire and puts on a fake beard and hat, calling himself "Honest Abe", a good-guy wrestler.  He also redresses Bart into patriotic attire, calling him "Laddy Liberty".  Grampa admits his error, then upon realizing the show still needs a good guy beating up a bad guy, he and Bart team up to subdue Burns.

Quick Review
This episode's couch gag was basically the family - and eventually the rest of the town - doing a Harlem Shake, oh I'm sorry, I meant a "Homer Shake".  The rather short fad was done by the show just about when the fad had been overkilled.  I bet, and I write this truthfully, the writers were laughing their asses off getting this couch gag ready.  "OH MAN look at Maggie starting up the Harlem Shake!  HIGH-larious!  This will never NOT be funny!"  Truth be told, I'm one of the lucky few to have successfully avoided watching any Harlem Shake before, during or after its popularity.  Hell, I didn't even know what the song being used was by the fad the internet had destroyed.  The episode uses a modified version of the song sung by Homer, so technically I'm still in the clear.  Of course, part of my soul still died from watching the show sink that low, but hey, little victories, right?

So, yeah, that whole thing sunk the episode before it started, not that the episode was particularly funny anyway.  Grampa's bits as Godfrey were decent, but otherwise the episode didn't have much to offer for comedy.

Final Score: 6.0

Hardly Kirk-ing (S24, E13-521)

Kirk is so unnoteworthy, someone with stubby arms and a stiff walking motion can pass as him.

Plot Summary
Marge stops Homer from letting Maggie watch an "educational" DVD that's even less effective as doing nothing.  To help turn Maggie around, Marge takes her, Lisa and Homer to a kid's library.  Homer comes across a "find the hidden items" book he becomes addicted to.  Meanwhile, Bart - who stayed behind - is spending time at Milhouse's place.  In an attempt to make things not so boring, Bart sprays some epoxy into Milhouse's hair, then promises to get it out.  Eventually, the entire top of Milhouse's hair has to be cut off, leaving him with hair that looks very similar to that of his father, Kirk Van Houten.  Bart realizes this, and has Milhouse try on one of Kirk's suits.  With the tie straightened, Milhouse's voice is fixed to sound just like Kirk and Bart determines that he can pass Milhouse off as an adult to acquire adult things.

Bart puts Milhouse on paint cans so he can appear as tall as Kirk.  Quickly, both Bart and even Milhouse take advantage of Milhouse's portrayal of Kirk by doing all sorts of adult things: buying beer, learning where babies come from, voting, that kind of stuff.  Later, Lisa is upset that Marge won't take her to a jazz show because it's in dangerous downtown Springfield.  Bart decides to help his sister out by using Milhouse to provide adult supervision.  Lisa's jazz show has a cover cost, but is aware that the company that made the aforementioned DVD has lost a lawsuit over its product and that people can go to its office to get money.  "Kirk" takes Bart and Lisa to a bus station to get a ride to that office, but it turns out they only got back $20, which isn't enough to get into the jazz show.  Upset, Lisa just wants to get breakfast, when the three see a Condo Sales Presentation which offers free breakfast.  With "Kirk" around, the three decide to get some grub.

Marge learns that their kids aren't at the Van Houtens as she was led to believe, so she gets Homer, now a searching expert thanks to the "find the item" books he's solved, to help find the three.  At the presentation, Bart, Lisa and "Kirk" are the only ones left, but the saleswoman comes on to "Kirk", and takes him to a back room.  Homer and Marge arrive just in time and quickly spot Milhouse, whose hair has begun to grow back.  Later, Milhouse confesses to his father the things he did under his name, but reveals he had a great time pretending to be him and hopes to become his father when he becomes older.  Kirk takes pride in this and lets Milhouse represent himself at the parent-teacher conferences while the Simpsons just take these developments in stride, I guess.

Quick Review
An episode where Bart gets Milhouse to pretend to be his own father is a fun idea for an episode, but its a shame this episode doesn't provide a good enough level of comedy to back it up.

Also, in this episode's initial airing, Maggie Simpson in: The Longest Daycare was broadcasted for the first time, so the episode's running time is a little low.  In future airings, the time is made up with the extra long Game of Thrones couch gag which transitions into this episode's couch gag, which did seem kinda rushed.

Final Score: 6.5

Love is a Many-Splintered Thing (S24, E12-520)

Why.  Why.

Plot Summary
Bart, dressed up as something that resembles Woody Allen for some reason, narrates the story.  One day, at school, Bart learns that Mary Spuckler has returned after being gone for just 11 episodes.  Mary's acting career is officially over, and she's happily back with her family, and the two decide to resume the relationship they had begun in New York.  However, Bart is mostly dismissive of Mary, opting to do whatever he wants and only passing to Mary bland compliments.  Lisa tries to warn Bart to pay more attention, giving Homer similar advice at the same time for Marge, but neither one really pays attention.  Mary's musical talents earns her a spot in a hillbilly music competition, though she doesn't win.  Bart is unable to console her, but a Brazilian record producer approaches Mary with an opportunity and invites her to dinner with his nice looking son.  Bart isn't particularly interested in going, so Mary decides to leave on her own, dismissive of Bart.

Gaining the help of a Woody Allen caricature, Bart tries to make it up to Mary, but she no longer cares about Bart and officially breaks up with him.  He goes home just in time to see Homer and Marge fighting over something, and yells at Marge over the perception that women never explain what they really want.  As Homer sides with Bart, Marge decides to kick both of them out of the house.  Homer takes Bart to his usual motel in such situations, full of other depressing husbands and such.  Bart tries one more time to call Mary, but she responds with a rather passionate song about how much she's over Bart, which she rather likes.

Homer decides to rally the other husbands, first by having a fun party, but then pools together the resources to invite their wives to the motel as they've gotten a nice orchestra to play a song for them in their attempts to win back their wives' love.  For the most part it works.  Bart was also able to invite Mary for the same purpose, but she isn't biting, and she leaves with her new boyfriend, the aforementioned Brazilian boy.  Back to Woody Allen lookalike narrator Bart, he checks up on Mary's status online, and learns she's married now (because Hillbilly way, I guess) but suddenly her status changes to being single again, and he likes his chances - though its mostly because Mary is now a widow?

Quick Review
Well, this episode has its problems.  Lots of them.  Here, lets list them.

1) Its not very funny.  That's usually a big one.
2) Bringing back Mary Spuckler so soon after she and Bart become a couple, kinda, only to have them break up rather unceremoniously.  Its like the writing staff realized after producing Moonshine River that they didn't like Bart having a sustained love intereste and worked like hell to remedy that.
3) Lisa was being rather pushy this time, which is always annoying and unfunny.
4) Even though the episode is about Bart, there was still enough time to throw in yet another "Homer and Marge hit another bump in the road in their marriage" plot, like there hasn't been enough of those.
5) The whole Woody Allen thing was unnecessary.  The show has spoofed the guy lots of time in the past, albeit never that humorously, and the heavy theme of it this episode was even less comedic.

I'm just gonna stop there.  Its a pretty bad episode, a waste of a Max Weinberg appearance, and is one of the worst episodes of the series thus far.

Final Score: 3.9

The Changing of the Guardian (S24, E11-519)

They're so perfect, Bart and Lisa are even holding hands.

Plot Summary
An ordinary storm takes a turn for the worst when a twister appears near the Simpson home, taking the dog within it despite Homer's genuine best attempts at saving him.  Lenny and Carl, chasing the storm, offer to help so Homer and Marge tag along to find their dog.  The four catch up to the twister but it ruins the storm van and even sweeps Carl away.  Luckily, the twister breaks up just moments later, leaving both Carl and Santa's Little Helper alive, intact, and nearby.  However, the storm also drops a bank it had swallowed up right over Homer and Marge, who are standing just in the right place to avoid being crushed, though they're stuck within a bulletproof glass revolving door.

Afterward, the two realize just how close they came to death, and that if they hadn't made it the kids would've been turned over to the state with their crummy laws on the matter.  The two decide to settle on a guardian to take after the kids just in case both of them die.  Homer doesn't trust Grampa to do, so he's out.  Homer tries to call his half-brother Herb Powell, but he's "broke again".  The two try Patty and Selma, the latter having been raising her adopted daughter Ling, but Ling - who has aged several years despite previously appearing at a baby about Maggie's age - seems pretty despondent from Patty and Selma's harsh parenting methods, so that's out of the question.  The two also try asking friends, but after a few failed attempts the rest of the town catches on and actively avoids the two from asking them about guardianship.

Homer and Marge then decide to start looking out of town, where they come across a surfer named Mav and his wife Portia, an environmental lawyer.  The two are quite rich and successful, and they even have an old man who is far less annoying than Grampa is.  Believing them to be perfect, Homer and Marge officially ask the two to be the kids' guardians, and the two decide to agree.  After the paperwork, Homer and Marge let Mav and Portia spend some time with the kids while the two of them start spending more time alone.

A few weeks pass, when Marge sees to her horror a Christmas photo with Mav, Portia and the kids.  Believing that the two are 'stealing' the kids, Homer and Marge rush up to Mav's winter home to confront the two.  On the way, Marge wonders if Mav and Portia are actually better for the kids.  Homer confirms it so, but also states that those are their kids, theirs to raise unless they die.  After reaching the home, both couples try to talk things out, but the kids return to reveal they'd rather live with Homer and Marge, their biological parents.  Mav and Portia relent and quickly go off to do another rich person activity.  Back home, Homer and Marge give up on finding a guardian for now, deciding that instead of focusing on them dying they'll focus more on just living.

Quick Review
A couple of oddities before I begin.  First, Herb Powell.  The character had been in two episodes: a Season 2 episode where he, a successful car entrepreneur, gets ruined by his long lost half-brother Homer, kind of a downer, and a Season 3 episode where he uses the money won by his half-brother Homer to create an invention that makes him rich again, a nice redemption story.  So after 21 years, Herb finally makes another appearance on the show.  Well, I say appearance, but it was only a few seconds worth of a phone call, where Danny DeVito actually came over to record the single line, Herb is never seen and he quickly admits he's "poor again", ruining the good vibes from the Season 3 episode.  The five seconds worth of "gag" was pointless, stupid and perhaps even insulting.

Another oddity is that of Ling, Selma's adopted Chinese baby.  For several years, Ling was just that, a baby.  However, in a move which clearly shows the writers and staff couldn't give a care about any established continuity, Ling is now several years older, old enough to silently plead Homer and Marge to help her.  People aren't as affectionate towards Ling as they probably were towards Herb just because Herb was in two early-season episodes while Ling made her debut in Season 16, but even so aging Ling so much for, yet again, a single gag, seems kinda irresponsible.  I suppose there are some people out there who've come to like Ling - I wouldn't know how or why - but I bet they weren't all too please to find Ling as a helicoptered four or five year old in this episode.

Still, because these were only moment-long bits they didn't detract much from this otherwise decent episode.  The scenes during the tornado were pretty good, and the interactions between the family and Mav and Portia had its moments as well (not so much anything involving Lisa and Portia, mind you).

Final Score: 7.0

A Test Before Trying (S24, E10-518)

Yes, this definitely beats school any day of the week.

Plot Summary
Mr. Burns hikes up the electricity bill by 17%, forcing many people to make electricity-related cutbacks to save money.  This includes the school district, which decides to close down a school to save money, deciding to choose the school based on how low they score on a standardized test.  Naturally, those at Springfield Elementary are especially worried.  Those fears are realized when, even with Lisa and Martin Prince there, the passing average at the school just falls into last place.  The next day, as kids are being reassigned to new districts, Bart shows up, revealing he skipped school the previous day to mess with a bug and thus never took the test.  Lisa tells the staff that the school can still be saved if Bart is able to pass the test.  Naturally, those at Springfield Elementary resign to their fates.

Meanwhile, Homer is forced to trash some electronics at the dump, where he comes across a rare find: a working parking meter, with a key to access coins inside.  Ecstatic, Homer takes the 90 pound item back with him and quickly starts up a scam to trick people into putting quarters into it.  Soon, Homer amasses a bag with $50 worth of quarters.  However, Homer is found out by the police and during the getaway, Homer crashes, dealing enough damage to the parking meter to render it inoperable.  After mourning his loss, Homer goes home, only for Marge to find out about his bag of quarters.  Marge insists this change be used for "change for the better", but Homer ends up wishing all of the quarters on a wishing well, wishing for many, many things.

The school prepares for Bart's test, headed by a test official who cares not for most things.  Realizing Bart isn't ready, Skinner is coerced into pulling a fire alarm, delaying Bart's test by a full day.  Bart, though, ends up not studying at all.  Lisa tries to talk some sense into him, but Bart falls asleep, having a dream that's far more convincing than Lisa would've been.  Bart realizes he's gotta study, but when that effort fails, Lisa shares with Bart test taking strategies, including picking B when he's not sure about an answer.  The test finally happens, and Bart is barely making it, but comes across the final question where he's unsure as to what to do.  Just as time runs out, the bug Bart had messed with earlier crawls out of his shirt and onto the test sheet, sitting on the final question's correct answer: C.  The test official scores the test on the spot and thanks to the final answer being "correct", Bart passes the test and the school is saved.

Quick Review
This was a fairly boring episode.  The side plot with Homer's parking meter provided the most laughs as the main plot really didn't do much good for comedy.

Final Score: 6.4

Homer Goes to Prep School (S24, E09-517)

Wonder why the creepy skull is for...

Plot Summary
The family goes to a kid zone of some sort.  While the kids have fun, mothers are allowed in one area while the fathers are in another.  A kid unwittingly leaves the building, causing panic and forcing a lockdown.  While the mothers take the change in stride, the area the fathers were in descend to anarchy.  Homer is nearly knocked unconscious during the chaos, where he deliriously imagines man as the savage apes they still have the potential to be.

Some time has passed, and the experience still traumatizes Homer, who still sees humanity as savage apes.  He's able to make it to Moe's, somehow, where he comes across a guy named Lloyd, who basically congratulates Homer for experiencing a taste of a lawless world.  He shows Homer a video which shows that when society crumbles, only the prepared will be able to survive.  Lloyd takes Homer to a secret society of "preppers", basically him, Herman, Lindsey Naegle and Superintendent Chalmers.  With their help, Homer learns the ways of the survivalist and quickly prepares emergency rations and such.  Homer is also shown a base camp some miles out of town where he's instructed to go once society falls.

Ironically, Homer's negligence at work causes a nuclear reactor to shoot out a EMP, shutting down power all across town.  Homer, unaware of the EMP, believes the end of the world is happening, and takes his now-convinced family to the base camp to hide out for awhile.  Marge, though, is angry with Homer for one main reason: abandoning everyone else in Springfield, showing he no longer has the big heart she loved him for.  Hit hard by this, Homer decides to pack some supplies to take back to Springfield, bringing the family along, but gets caught on his way out and is given chase.  Homer makes it back to Springfield where he sees something astonishing: people getting along.  Professor Frink explains that they learned only Springfield had lost its power, but it was restored after a few days.  Flanders then adds that the incident only causes a neighborly sense of togetherness within the community, as though all the angry people had left.  The angry people arrive in time to see the apocalypse not happen, but Lisa assures them that society is not as brittle as it may seem and it will last for many years to come... just as a zombie-ridden meteor is shown to be on its way.

Quick Review
This was another pretty decent episode, with some good humor at times and nothing that rubbed me the wrong way.  Its nothing spectacular, of course, but I enjoyed it.

Final Score: 7.2

To Cur with Love (S24, E08-516)

Bongo, doing his best trick: bailing Homer out of crap.

Plot Summary
An accident leaves the Springfield Retirement home in ruins, and Grampa is forced to live with his son again, much to the Simpsons' chagrin.  Homer "breaks his back" just as they leave to help Grampa pack, and gets to stay home, alone, for some time.  Homer passes the time by getting addicted to a game, ignoring the dog's pleas for a walk.  Later, Marge and the family returns with Grampa and his stuff, and Bart learns in horror that the dog has gone missing.

As the family starts their search, Bart and Lisa realize Homer is relatively unfazed by the dog's disappearance.  When they find the dog inside a pantry shelf near the sink, everyone is happy the dog is alright, except for the lethargic Homer.  Homer admits he's never been much of a dog person, but Grampa reminds Homer of a "Bongo", bringing back memories Homer didn't want to recall.  As Homer runs off in tears, Grampa decides to tell the rest of the family about Bongo.

Bongo was Abe and Mona's dog when Homer was born, but Homer became really attached to Bongo as he grew older, especially after Mona left.  The two would do everything together and Homer considered Bongo his best friend.  However, things begin to turn sour when, during a nuclear plant kids fundraiser, Burns runs afoul of young Homer and Bongo, with the latter biting Burns in the hand.  Abe quickly helps the two flee as Burns demands the dog meet its death.  With no other options, Abe takes Homer and Bongo to a "crazy" woman who owns a ranch a bit out of town, and Abe has no choice but to tell Homer he's leaving Bongo with her, letting Homer leave his Itchy & Scratchy sweater with Bongo as a memento.  Homer, though, becomes immensely upset with Abe for doing it, and his relationship with his father becomes irreparably damaged.  Meanwhile, Abe is confronted by Burns again and, with no dog for Burns to slay, Abe agrees to do demeaning work for Burns, who basically turns Abe into the crazy old man he is today.

As the family sheds tears over the story, Homer returns to tell his version of the story, which doesn't work out right, but Homer does decide to tell a part of the story Grampa doesn't know about: a few months later Homer snuck over to the ranch to retrieve Bongo, however before he revealed himself, he sees Bongo having fun with his new owner.  Homer realizes that Bongo was happy without him, and from then on believes dogs to be unfaithful, traitorous mutts.  Grampa, though, shows Homer a Christmas photo of an older Bongo, years later, still favoring Homer's then-tattered sweater.  Homer realizes that Bongo still loved Homer, and that Homer had essentially resented dogs, also his father, for no good reason.  Homer makes up with Grampa, and at some point the dog as well as that night the two elder Simpson men are asleep with the dog on the couch, where Homer is dreaming he and Santa's Little Helper are enjoying time at a park populated by his younger self and Bongo, among others.

As the episode ran short again (likely because there was no opening), a minute is taken by Mr. Burns to explain the fiscal cliff and how he, like all other rich people, are devastated after the results of the 2012 election.  He tries to offer new ideas on immigration, but boy that doesn't work out for him at all.

Quick Review
Man, this episode got to me.  Its actually kinda similar to the Futurama episode Jurassic Bark.  Okay, not really, but a key theme is shared between this episode and that one: a dog who continues to love his former human friend even as it got older without him around.  Jurassic Bark was emotionally powerful for that reason, and so was this episode.  Unlike Jurassic Bark, which was pretty funny, this episode, well, it has its moments to be sure, but its nothing spectacular, and the bit with the fiscal cliff at the end kinda ruins the emotional ending the episode had going for it (which might be why it wasn't part of later re-airings).  Still, its nice to see an episode such as this as even if the show continues to struggles bringing on the laughs, it can still at least jerk a few tears.

Final Score: 7.5

The Day the Earth Stood Cool (S24, E07-515)

"Parents are supposed to be lame, so their kids have
something to rebel against by becoming cool just long
enough to get married and have kids, for whom they are lame."

Plot Summary
Homer is somewhat upset after a woman believes him to be an old man.  He's about to perk up when the plant brings in specialty donuts from a place called "Devil Donuts", but he's too late and they're all gone.  Homer is able to organize a search party for Devil Donuts, and soon he finds it.  The shop's owner, Terrance, quickly becomes friends with Homer who is in awe of just how "cool" Terrance is.  Further shocking Homer, Terrance remains this "cool" despite having two kids.  Learning that the two have moved away from Portland when it become too "cool" for them, Homer tells them of a cheap house they can buy in Springfield: the one next door to him.

Homer introduces his family to Terrance's.  His wife, Emily, breastfeeds her baby Corduroy which unsettles Marge.  Lisa falls in love with everything, while Bart is less than impressed with the elder son in the family, T-Rex, who doesn't particularly care about Bart either.  Still, Homer becomes really good friends with Terrance, who teaches Homer his "cool" ways.  As Homer becomes more and more "cool", Bart and particularly Marge remain somewhat weirded out by Terrance's family.  It comes to head at T-Rex's birthday party, being held in an old factory - probably ironically.  Marge is confronted by Emily and other "cool" mothers for using baby formula instead of going 'natural' to feed Maggie, and Marge has enough and leaves.  Bart, meanwhile, gets annoyed with the unappreciative T-Rex, who especially doesn't like Homer's present.  T-Rex tries to post on the internet about how much of a poser Homer is, but Bart finally has enough and gets into a scuffle with T-Rex.  Terrance is particular upset at Homer for letting Bart get away with that, and kicks him out of the party.

Homer is ready to get mad at Bart the next day, but Bart tells him what T-Rex did to his present, and Marge tells Homer about her breastfeeding bullies.  Homer realizes the error of his ways, and officially ends his friendship with Terrance.  Flanders tries to reconcile their friendship, but as Homer and Marge try to tell them to get real, Terrance decides to go on his phone and inform all of his "cool" friends to come and live in Springfield.  In short time, Springfield becomes extraordinarily "cool", with everybody acting like its the past except using the technology of the present.

As Homer and Marge admit defeat to Terrance and Emily at some "cool" thing downtown, Bart and T-Rex talk once again.  T-Rex can't explain why everything is lame, but Bart help the boy out by introducing him to TV, something T-Rex's parents had prevented him from watching.  As T-Rex leaves, he neglects the family's compost heap and as its left unturned, it catches fire.  Terrance and Emily are quickly able to sniff it out and return home with Homer and Marge.  With water and fire fighters too "cool" to be available, Marge springs into action with her gallons and gallons of baby formula that Homer and Terrance place into a net created from scarves and wallet chains to put out the fire.  Terrance and Homer make up afterwards, but after its learned that a national paper has called Springfield the "coolest" place in America, Terrance and his friends decide the town is "played out" and quickly depart much to Lisa's displeasure.

Quick Review
First off, every instance of the string "cool" above can be replaced with "hipster", because that's what the people portrayed as "cool" in this episode were, and that they are considered to be cool in any context is telling about the episode's writer and his comedic preferences.

I try not to be too harsh for the heavy hipster themes - even in its heyday the show would not be against displaying hip 90s culture prominently, like in Summer of 4 Ft. 2 for instance.  Even in that episode, though, I felt all the 90s gushing at me dated the episode, and as a result its not as funny as it might've been back in the day.

Take a look at the score I've given this episode, and that's with hipster culture so popular its become ironic (did I even phrase that right?).  Imagine how funny this episode will be years from now when hipsters go the way of the 90s and everything this episode references becomes dated?

That said, the low score isn't because of the hipster theme, its mainly the continued lack of quantity and quality of humor that's plagued recent episodes continues here, which makes the hipster theme much less "cool" than the 90s theme from the much funnier Season 7 finale.

Final Score: 6.4

A Tree Grows in Springfield (S24, E06-514)

Brockman "hopes" he can stop hope before he can be stopped.

Plot Summary
Homer is depressed about life in general.  Not even a Duff-sponsored party can cheer him up.  He remains depressed as his family takes him to a school raffle.  However, to his surprised glee, Homer ends up winning the top prize in the raffle: an Apple iPad - oh I'm sorry, a "Mapple MyPad", whatever.  Anyway, Homer loves his new iPad and it does everything for him, including cheering him up.  Homer in particular becomes addicted to a pizza making app, and becomes so distracted by it he doesn't see where he's going and falls down an open sewer drain.  Homer is physically not too hurt, however the iPad did not survive.  The iPad wasn't the only thing that shattered, so too did Homer's newfound optimism.

Depressed once more, Homer is dragged out by Ned Flanders to be shown an odd sight: his tree has maple markings on it that spell out the word "HOPE".  As Homer had prayed to God for a goddamned break after his iPad broke, and with Ned Flanders preaching a "even if your tires are flat, you just take things real slow until you reach the next station" message, Homer decides to see things in a new light.  In church, Homer tells everyone about the hope tree, and a following of people start praising the supposed miracle.

Kent Brockman, disillusioned after a childhood incident involving a guy in a Mickey Mouse costume, remains skeptical and decides to find out the truth behind the message.  Quickly, Brockman learns and shows to everyone videotape of a mysterious stranger coming from out of nowhere and painting the word on the tree using typical store-bought maple syrup.  The message of hope dies, as does Homer's optimism again.  Marge finally cheers Homer up for good by telling him that he doesn't need iPads or fake tree messages because the hope he felt was real, not to mention there was somebody out there on Homer's side telling him to keep hope.  Later that night, the mystery person returns to the tree, and ends up being a sleepwalking Homer, subconsciously telling himself to keep hope alive.

With the episode done early, a short mini-cartoon about a love story is presented, but its two minutes worth of referencing nearly every false product the show has made over the years.  Yawn.

Quick Review
Two things really bothered me with this episode, as "grounded" as it was: everything involving "Mapple" and the "MyPad" and Steve "Mobs" and jabs at Apple's privacy concerns because "everyone cool owns iProducts so if we just mention how much Apple sucks ironically then we'll get all the laughs!"  Why.

The short story at the very end was stupid too, again only there because the main plot was boring enough that it couldn't fill up just two more minutes.  The main episode had a couple of decent jokes and moments, but overall it was boring mixed with a few lowlights, which is why it scored so low.

Final Score: 5.4

Penny-Wiseguys (S24, E05-513)

The episode barely explains why these two know each other, are they even friends or what?

Plot Summary
A game of bowling is ruined for most of the original Pin Pals when their new fourth member, Dan Gillick, is forced to leave in the last frame for work.  It turns out that Dan is a mafia accountant, and is forced to crunch numbers during mafia meetings.  Fat Tony reveals that he's been selected for jury duty, and as a result he must have someone take his place temporarily, and for some reason gives Dan that responsibility.  Dan, of course, has trouble getting the other mafioso to respect him.  At the bar, Dan - whom Homer had met while retrieving a frisbee that landed on Dan's roof - gets advice from Moe to be more aggressive and edgier.  After a swig of beer, Dan does just that and is able to put terrify the other mobsters enough to allow him to enact several cost-cutting measures.

Meanwhile, Lisa collapses during a solo at a school concert, and its learned that she has an iron deficiency, thanks in part to her vegetarianism.  She's given iron supplements to compensate, but she has a tough time swallowing them.  Lunchlady Doris, though, helps Lisa out by showing her a new avenue in acquiring iron: eating bugs, which is okay for vegetarians because of reasons.  Lisa gives it a try, and likes it enough to start growing her own grasshopper colony.  However, in the process Lisa starts to become allured to regular ol' meat again, enough to sleepwalk over to meat items.  Realizing that her new bug diet is that cause of this, Lisa quits eating bugs and has Bart (for some reason) free her grasshoppers.  Bart half-asses it, and the grasshoppers end up hopping around in the basement, which he doesn't care about.

Dan meets Fat Tony during a break and Tony is pleased with Dan's progress in cutting budget, but wants Dan to cut even more.  Dan tells Fat Tony that the only place left to cut is in personnel, and Fat Tony tells Dan that in his business, people don't get laid off, they get laid out.  Dan realizes that he's gotta kill some guys, and for some reason goes to Homer for help - to help stop Dan from killing anyone because he's built up enough edge to actually go through with it.  Homer is forced to agree - Dan has been given a gun - and Homer ties Dan up in the basement... the same basement full of freed grasshoppers.  Homer notices this a few hours later and after freeing Dan from the grasshoppers, Dan has too much edge and escapes, ready to kill him some mobsters.

As Lisa and Marge properly release those grasshoppers, Homer chases Dan across town, preventing him from killing mobsters Johnny Tightlips and Louie.  Dan goes after Legs and associate next, but Homer catches up to him and, after a struggle, Homer takes Dan's gun away from him just as Fat Tony helps give a verdict in court.  Fat Tony comes back, happy that costs have been cut even further now that there's only one gun: his, and Dan has relegated himself to shooting a piercing gun for young girls as he can never get over the thrill of pulling the trigger.

Quick Review
This was actually a pretty decent episode.  I'm always a sucker for mob antics, and this episode had a good amount to offer.  Lisa's side story was, predictably, unfunny but at least it tied into the main story for one scene anyway.  The main story's focus on Dan - voiced by Steve Carell - was kinda odd, but I didn't mind it any.  Overall, its still funnier than anything Season 23 had to offer.

Final Score: 7.3

Gone Abie Gone (S24, E04-512)

I chose this image for a reason... like I was pinning blame, but I don't quite remember...

Plot Summary
After getting hot onion rings splashed on him, Homer wins a lawsuit and is given $5000.  He is tasked by Marge into putting it into the bank for Lisa's college fund, but his barmates inform him that the banks aren't exactly trustworthy anymore, and they convince to put the money into an online poker account which is, actually, safer.  Lisa laments this turns of events, and panics when she sees Bart gambling it on the site.  Having lost $60 or so, Lisa shoos Bart away and decides to try and win it back.  She does, but also wins an additional $50 to boost her total to $5050.  Bart warns Lisa not to get too involved in gambling, but Lisa studies up on the methodologies of it and decides to increase her fund to where she can go to a top notch university.  With her methods, and I'm guessing a lot of luck, she's able to increase her fund to well over $300,000.  Getting greedy, she plays one more hand where she thinks she's got a full house and goes all in.  An avatar posing as Sideshow Bob calls, though, and turns out to have an even better hand.  Lisa loses all of her money, and she's devastated.  It turns out, though, that it was Bart pretending to be Bob and he acquired all of Lisa's money plus however much more he had to call her all in.  However, Bart notes that the website is aware the two are under 18, and restores Lisa's money to its original amount of $5000.  Lisa asks why Bart would do this for her, and Bart admits that he does, in fact, care for him a little bit.

Meanwhile, Homer and Marge forget to visit Grampa again, only remembering on a later date.  They go to the retirement home to visit him, but they learn that Grampa has gone missing.  Searching his room and belongings, Marge finds a coaster for a place called Spiro's, and Homer decides that's enough of a lead to go on.  At that place, the owner, Spiro, reveals that Abe worked at the place decades ago as a waiter, but he was also an aspiring songwriter who became intimate with a singer named Rita LaFleur.  Odder still, this happened after Mona had left Abe, so a six year old Homer was aware that Abe and Rita were together but unaware of what was really happening, though current Homer has no recollection of this.  Homer and Marge quickly locate Rita and visit her.  She reveals that Abe had proposed to her for some time, but on the day of the wedding Homer winds up injured and goes to the hospital.  There, Rita learns she's been given a gig in Europe, but Abe is aware that clumsy ol' Homer probably won't survive a trip there.  Choosing between his new love and his young son, Abe chooses the latter.  Abe and Homer see Rita off at the airport before going to a nearby bar to help the both of them forget all about her.  In the present, Homer is touched that Abe sacrificed his love life to raise him.

Rita gives them a cologne Abe likes to use, and the two go to the only place left that still sells it.  It's at this place where they find Abe working there, and indeed Abe is upset that Homer forget to visit him again, deciding to run away and live somewhere else where his son won't have to forget about visiting anymore.  The two promise to visit Abe more often, and the old man relents and goes back to the home where, to his astonishment, Rita is there waiting for him, and the two share one more song on the piano.

Quick Review
This is going to really be a quick review as this episode deserves nothing but.

It was boring.  The end.

Final Score: 5.8

Adventures in Baby-Getting (S24, E03-511)

How horrifying... a world where 3D picture is still notable.

Plot Summary
Homer's negligence in fixing an outdoor faucet leak causes a massive sinkhole to pop up nearby the following year.  This is particularly trouble for Marge, as the sinkhole swallows her car, though thankfully she had a sinkhole kit ready for her escape.  The mayor eventually fills the sinkhole with the Springfield tire fire then smoothing it over with cement, which actually works, but Marge's car is no longer retrievable.  Marge is able to smartly purchase a new car, with just enough room for her, Homer and the kids.  Soon, though, Marge has trouble starting the car, though Homer has no such difficulty himself.  At a car shop, the mechanic confirms nothing is wrong with the car, and he suggests the perhaps Marge actually hates the car for some reason.  Homer asks Marge about it later, and Marge comes to a realization: the car is only big enough to hold just three kids, not four, and she really wants a fourth kid.

Homer really doesn't, but won't say anything to Marge about it, instead tries to stall for time in hopes that Marge gives up.  Homer is seemingly in the clear when its reminded that Homer is completely sterile thanks to working in the nuclear plant, but later Moe tells Marge that some years back Homer donated some of his sperm to a sperm bank in Shelbyville.  Soon, the two drive towards Shelbyville where Homer tries to stall yet again by stopping at various attractions.  So much time is spent, they have to spend the night at a hotel, where Homer lets slip that he actually doesn't want a fourth kid and that he's been making efforts to get Marge to give up.  Angered, Marge kicks Homer out of the room for the night.

Meanwhile, Bart and Milhouse spy Lisa sneaking off somewhere, accidentally dropping a piece of paper with a cryptic phrase on it.  Bart tries to confront Lisa, but she's not talking.  Bart invites Lisa's former boyfriends in Nelson and Ralph and the four further the investigation, coming across a second, similar phrase.  Principal Skinner forces himself into the fray, where he recognizes the paper having an unique feature to them that belong only to her predecessor, Principal Milgram.  The five, and now Otto for no reason, go to Milgram's house where they meet the retired Principal, and Lisa.  Lisa reveals she's been learning the dead art of cursive writing from Milgram, thus the pages - which contain every letter written in cursive, and she mocks the boys for wasting their time on this.

At a diner, Homer sees a four-kid family and notices the father is actually okay, and Homer comes to accept having a fourth child.  Marge sees Homer's change, and is more than happy to get kid #4 now.  At the sperm clinic, its learned that Homer's sperm (which he donated as "Thad Supersperm") has since been used up, the last sample of which was just taken.  Homer rather easily retrieves the sample, but Marge sees on a wall pictures of children born from the clinic, all of whom look rather like a Simpson - it seems Homer donated a ton of sperm.  Unwilling to bring another spawn of Homer into the world, the two agree that three kids is enough for now, and they decide to take their current kids to a drive-in theatre, where Homer comes across newborn septuplets who look just like him.

Quick Review
To begin, instead of the opening the episode did another take on voting day hijinks similar to what was found in Treehouse of Horror XIX, except instead of dying Homer gets sent to a Chinese factory where American flags are made, and Selma is not too far behind him.  This entire segment was awful and unfortunately took away from the rest of the episode.

Not that the rest of the episode was anything special to begin with.  The side plot with Lisa was forgettable and not very funny.  The main plot has its moments, especially as Homer tries to squirm out of having a fourth kid, but its not enough to counteract everything the episode has going against it.

Final Score: 6.1