Mathlete's Feat (S26, E22-574)

Oh yeah, they wore hats for some reason.  I dare you to care.

Plot Summary
Lisa and the rest of Springfield Elementary's math team competes in a local competition against Waverly Hills but gets blown out in every sense of the phrase, except the literal one.  The three judges of the competition, the three college nerds Homer once befriended, and who have since struck it rich thanks to a popular phone app they developed, decide to help their old elementary school by upgrading its tech to modern times.  However, Skinner uses a power strip that isn't a surge protector to plug in all of the new servers and such, causing a quick overload of electricity, effectively shutting down everything.

With the school now with no technology or power, Lisa finds a sudden interest in Groundskeeper Willie's odd, (supposedly) ancient Scottish measurements for science while he's doing yardwork.  Soon, Lisa proposes the "Waldorf" method of education, which proposes students can learn without the use of any educational materials by making everything more hands on with what's available, "winging it", as it were.  Everyone in school gets to liking it pretty quick and more resistant stalwarts such as Homer give in soon enough.

For being the one to introduce it to Lisa and subsequently everyone else, Willie gets named coach of the math team.  Soon, Willie witnesses Bart throw one egg, and believing it to be a perfectly calculated throw, he makes Bart captain of the team.  Soon, the Springfield math teams gets its rematch against Waverly Hills, and with their new methods of math and Bart's last second save, the team earns the win thanks to, basically, lower standards.  Afterward, Willie reveals that his methods are not based on science but (supposedly) an old Scottish way to hang sheep thieves and such.

Quick Review
Wow, what a mess of an episode.  First of all, the plot is short; the episode starts with a very lengthy couch gag featuring Rick & Morty, which lasted over two minutes.  There was another half-minute of filler at the end with the Simpsons playing hillbilly music for no apparent reason, detached from the rest of the episode.  The main episode was quite short.

It was also very bad, the worst episode of the season.  I can even make a claim that its one of the ten worst in the series thus far; it scored low enough to do so.  I was worried that, when previews suggested plenty of heavy math jokes, that they'd be too tryhard to be funny.  Well, there weren't that many math jokes, and they weren't too bad, some were pretty clever, but otherwise most of the comedy in the episode was sorely lacking in delivery, and humor.

The plot, as brief as it was, could barely hold itself together.  The first part of the episode was mostly references and "hey look at all this tech, we're tech-savy are we cool yet".  The middle portion was just dull and the last portion just dragged on in what felt like nothing more that simple plot progression.  Last episode was half of a disaster, this episode is definitely a full one.

Final Score: 4.0

Homer Goes to Prep School (S24, E09-517)

Wonder why the creepy skull is for...

Plot Summary
The family goes to a kid zone of some sort.  While the kids have fun, mothers are allowed in one area while the fathers are in another.  A kid unwittingly leaves the building, causing panic and forcing a lockdown.  While the mothers take the change in stride, the area the fathers were in descend to anarchy.  Homer is nearly knocked unconscious during the chaos, where he deliriously imagines man as the savage apes they still have the potential to be.

Some time has passed, and the experience still traumatizes Homer, who still sees humanity as savage apes.  He's able to make it to Moe's, somehow, where he comes across a guy named Lloyd, who basically congratulates Homer for experiencing a taste of a lawless world.  He shows Homer a video which shows that when society crumbles, only the prepared will be able to survive.  Lloyd takes Homer to a secret society of "preppers", basically him, Herman, Lindsey Naegle and Superintendent Chalmers.  With their help, Homer learns the ways of the survivalist and quickly prepares emergency rations and such.  Homer is also shown a base camp some miles out of town where he's instructed to go once society falls.

Ironically, Homer's negligence at work causes a nuclear reactor to shoot out a EMP, shutting down power all across town.  Homer, unaware of the EMP, believes the end of the world is happening, and takes his now-convinced family to the base camp to hide out for awhile.  Marge, though, is angry with Homer for one main reason: abandoning everyone else in Springfield, showing he no longer has the big heart she loved him for.  Hit hard by this, Homer decides to pack some supplies to take back to Springfield, bringing the family along, but gets caught on his way out and is given chase.  Homer makes it back to Springfield where he sees something astonishing: people getting along.  Professor Frink explains that they learned only Springfield had lost its power, but it was restored after a few days.  Flanders then adds that the incident only causes a neighborly sense of togetherness within the community, as though all the angry people had left.  The angry people arrive in time to see the apocalypse not happen, but Lisa assures them that society is not as brittle as it may seem and it will last for many years to come... just as a zombie-ridden meteor is shown to be on its way.

Quick Review
This was another pretty decent episode, with some good humor at times and nothing that rubbed me the wrong way.  Its nothing spectacular, of course, but I enjoyed it.

Final Score: 7.2

Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts (S23, E02-488)

All hail President Roosevelt!  May his four years be full of conquest!

Plot Summary
Bart's latest prank leaves Principal Skinner looking like a fool during a school auction.  Frustrated, Skinner isn't willing to deal with Superintendent Chalmers' usual remarks.  Instead, Skinner lashes out against Chalmers, insisting he try teaching Bart once to see what hell he goes through everyday.  Chalmers casually agrees, though in a private moment he needs to get himself together, not having actually taught in quite some time.

Chalmers meets up with Bart at the library, and though Chalmers has trouble getting Bart to care about Presidents at first, the wise Superintendent gets Bart to focus on a specific one: Theodore Roosevelt, who led quite the wild life in his day.  Bart becomes completely engrossed in the life of the first President Roosevelt, and to supplement Bart's learning, Chalmers takes Bart out to a park founded by Roosevelt.  Bart recounts the tales of ol' Teddy to Milhouse, Nelson, Jimbo and Dolph, and they all want to be taught by Chalmers instead.

Chalmers is happy to see so many boys take an interest in Roosevelt, especially as he believes that public schools have become too wrapped up in teaching feelings instead.  He takes the five boys camping in hopes of uncovering a pair of spectacles worn by the President.  On that trip, Nelson finds the glasses while hanging off the edge of a cliff, but it gives way and Nelson takes a small yet painful fall.  Later, Nelson's mom threatens to sue the school for Nelson's injuries and as Chalmers took the boys on an unapproved trip, the comptroller relieves Chalmers of his duties.

Bart finds regular school boring again, and finds a defeated Chalmers hard to talk to.  Soon, Bart gathers up the "Brotherhood of the Spectacles", which includes himself, the four other boys as well as Kearney now, to come up with a plan to get Chalmers' job back.  Bart's plan is simple: take over the school and not relinquish it until Chalmers is hired again.  The operation goes rather smoothly as Bart is able to convince Skinner and every teacher to go outside to check on their equally pathetic cars.  As the boys threaten to ruin an expensive photocopier should Skinner try to break in, the police are brought in to end the standoff.  Chalmers then appears and tries to convince the boys to stand down, but they hold their ground.  Chief Wiggum is about to storm the school, but fumbles his gun and it shoots the comptroller in the knee.  The comptroller willingly gives Chalmers a better version of his job back, and Chalmers is back making Skinner feel bad again.  Chalmers and Bart go on another ride through Roosevelt's park, probably friends or something.

Quick Review
Not that long ago, I lamented over the change of Superintendent Chalmers' character, how even a character such as him that was introduced as being so normal could also succumb to be a caricature of his former self.  For the most part, this episode does a better job treating Chalmers' character right aside from a couple of odd Skinner-related moments.  The humor is also much improved from the previous episode, but there some sketchy moments as well that held the episode back a bit.  Overall, its still nothing special in terms of comedy but I appreciate the effort of an episode that focuses on Chalmers and doing it decently well.

Final Score: 6.9

The Ned-Liest Catch (S22, E22-486)

It wasn't revealed how many people actually voted.  Was it millions?  Did it reach one million?

Plot Summary
A pep rally for the school's girl's basketball team goes awry when the girls on the team get food poisoning.  Skinner promises the hour to be free time, which quickly descends to chaos, but when Lisa tries to fill up that time with something boring, Skinner tries to cancel free time.  Bart then causes trouble by forcing the bleachers back into the wall, with the kids still sitting on them.  Mrs. Krabappel catches up to Bart an, in an emotional act, slaps Bart in the back of the head, twice, stunning everyone.  Superintendent Chalmers suspends Edna with pay, forcing her to attend a holding facility during her work hours until the board reviews her case.  Bart visits Edna on her first day there, somewhat apologetic about what's happened, and shows Edna a way to escape for awhile: though the window even though the room is on the third floor.  Edna tries to go down a nearby ladder, but its unable to handle her weight.  Bart flees the scene, but as Edna falls she's caught by a nearby Ned Flanders.

The two quickly get along, with the topic of the Simpsons being a decent conversation starter between them.  Edna learns Ned's wife has passed on, and Ned learns Edna's husband is a deadbeat, so they have a little in common in that respect.  The two have lunch, then Edna heads back to the holding facility, though the two hope they'll meet again.  A short time later, Edna is allowed to teach again (and forced to take up work as a weekend prison guard as well), giving her a bit more time to spend with Ned, and the two really hit it off.

Edna starts visiting Ned at his house, which poses a problem for Bart.  Well, not just Bart but also Homer, whose antics Edna isn't willing to deal with.  She forces Homer to be nicer to Ned, and to also give back all of Ned's stuff, basically emptying his garage.  Bart tells Homer about Edna being bad news for the two of them, so Homer concocts a plan to make the Flanders' see Edna in a worse light.  Homer has Bart make Rod and Todd think Edna is a fairy tale monster (which he fails to do), while Homer convinces Ned to break up with Edna.  Homer meets Ned at Moe's tavern to talk about Edna, but Ned convinces Homer that Edna is the woman for him.  However, the other patrons at the bar start revealing that they have also spent some "time" with Edna, including drummer Joey Kramer.  Ned realizes he's been played, and "thanks" Homer for revealing this.  He acts hostile towards Edna the next time they meet, seeing all the other men on her face, but Ned doesn't reveal anything.

Feeling sorry for what's happened, Homer tries to talk to Ned again, able to convince Ned to forgive Edna for her past.  So, later that day, Ned talks to Edna about her past, forgiving her for her transgressions.  Edna takes offense to that, defending her life to this point, and tells Ned that he has to promise that her past will never, ever, get in their way.  Ned isn't willing to relent just yet, commenting that perhaps their relationship will have to be left to a "higher power" to decide.  At this point, the scene shifts to Homer and Marge in a awards show-like setting, advising viewers to visit thesimpsons.com to vote on whether "Nedna" should remain a thing or not, the results of which will be provided in the Season 23 premiere.  Unless you're watching a re-run or a DVD of the episode, in which case Marge is well aware its too late to vote and she recognizes the folly of having people she's never met vote on whether her son's teacher and her neighbor should be a couple.

Quick Review
Comedy wise, its the weakest of the episodes during the season.  Again, humor is pushed aside not just for storytelling, but also to push along the whole "Nedna" bit.  The opening scenes in the pep rally were just awful, and the episode struggles to recover from it, though the episode did hit a mark when Ned imagines all the other men on Edna's face.  Still, this along with 500 Keys brings the season to a dismal close.

This is also the first season finale since Who Shot Mr. Burns? Part 1 to feature a cliffhanger ending with the intention of properly resolving it in the following season's premiere.  Well, I hesitate to use the word "properly".  Who Shot Mr. Burns actually held a contest, with prizes, for whoever could determine the shooter over that summer.  Granted, nobody could because it was the baby that shot him, but that was an actual contest, and it received a full episode that conclude that storyline.  However, with "Nedna", that name sounding so manufactured mind you, there is no contest, just an online vote for one of two options, and the results do not get its own episode: its tacked on to the end of The Falcon and the D'ohman, an otherwise unrelated episode.  I hesitate to apply a bad label to this whole "Nedna" effort because I don't think it's as lazy as it seems, but then again...

Final Score: 6.1

500 Keys (S22, E21-485)

How did they even get some of those keys, like the school key?

Plot Summary
Homer takes the kids out to buy a returned wedding cake for cheap, but after returning home he accidentally leaves Maggie in the car, locked, with the keys.  Marge empties out a drawer full of keys hoping to find the car's spare, but Maggie is somehow able to exit the car on her own and return inside the house.  With panic subsided, the family takes a look at all the keys they have, and decide to do whatever with them.  Bart takes a handful of keys in hopes of committing pranks, but every attempt of his ends up doing the community good, which he hates.  Homer has the keys to the Duff Brewery somehow, so he and Barney sneak in, going to the back of the brewery where the blimp is.  Barney tricks Homer into thinking the blimp wants him inside, and Homer quickly steals the blimp and flies off into the sky.

Lisa finds a key to the school, and runs off to return it.  She's stopped by Nelson, who convinces her to live a little, and figure out what the key opens before returning it.  Lisa looks around the building, and sees three odd door side by side: Banned Books, Band Books, and Banned Band Books.  Lisa's key ends up opening the latter door, and she goes inside to find a strange sight: a large classroom that seems impressive at first, but none of the materials within are actually legitimate.  Lisa talks to Principal Skinner about the room, but when the two, along with a bunch of kids, go to the door, the path to the room is replaced by a bookcase, leaving Lisa stunned.

With Superintendent Chalmers apparently part of the cover up, Skinner is able to grab Lisa's key, and Lisa is left unable to solve the mystery.  Luckily, the school paper took a photo of Lisa holding the key, so she uses it to have a duplicate key made to reopen that door.  She busts down the bookcase and re-enters the room, where a mysterious stranger writes on the chalkboard about "the children of bus 23".  Bart, whose tired of his key adventure, teams up with Lisa at this point and has her talk to someone who has been at the school for a long time: the often held back Nelson.  Nelson does recall a bus 23, where on a wintry morning Chalmers forces Skinner to send off that bus through an ice bridge for the sake of time even though it'd likely be too heavy to cross.  Homer arrives in the blimp on coincidence, and the two decide to have Homer take them there.

Homer, of course, can't really operate blimps, so as they reach the river where bus 23 supposedly met its fate, Lisa ends up falling out of the blimp, and into the water where she finds the bus with the kids still inside.  Homer jumps in after her, but he knocks the bus on its side, allowing the bodies to float up through the window.  Quickly, the two realize that these aren't dead kids, but actually mannequins.  However, the two are quickly swarmed by the mannequins and are forced underwater.  Thankfully, another key side story where Marge puts a wind-up key in a moving flatulence toy comes to fruition, as the "Pooter Toot Express" hits an old tree which falls and creates a bridge Homer and Lisa can grab onto.

With the demise of the toy, Marge and Maggie meet up with the rest of the family.  Across the river, Lisa spies the mysterious man she had seen earlier, which turns out to be Otto, who drove the bus to its grave.  Otto is relieved upon learning the kids were only mannequins, and the family decides to bring the mystery to an end.  Skinner and Chalmers attempt to escape, but Bart is able to steal Skinner's car keys, forcing the two to reveal the truth.  Years ago, the school was given a government grant to improve the school.  Skinner cashed the check but the money he put in his pocket was lost when his mother washed his jeans.  Fearing the feds would go after them, the two along with Willie set up a fake classroom with mannequins to fool the feds into thinking they did spend the money wisely.  However, they were only renting the mannequins, so they had to return them quickly, which is why Chalmers risked using the ice bridge route.  Of course, the two never counted on the future Simpsons locking their baby in the car which would lead to them uncovering the keys to the mystery.  Later, Otto, still relieved he didn't kill any kids, now is under the delusion the current group of kids he's carrying are also mannequins as the bus falls into the river.

Quick Review
With a heavy emphasis on storytelling, the episode doesn't have much of a chance to build on comedy, though early on it looked like it would with Bart's and Homer's stories before the focus is put on Lisa's conspiracy story which, mostly, was unfunny.  This ends up as one of the weakest entries to the season.

As an aside, I want to take a moment to mention the character of Superintendent Chalmers.  Originally, the guy was played as a straight man to Skinner's tomfoolery, whom Chalmers tolerated none of.  His main role back in the day would be to critique the scared Principal and his school, which would usually go wrong once Bart pulls off a prank, leaving Skinner in Chalmers' dog house.  It was a gag that worked well, but since then Chalmers' character has changed tremendously.  Nowadays, he's a shell of his former self.  Him yelling out "Skinner!" isn't used as an angry yell to shake up an already shaken Principal, but rather yet another catchphrase that's used only for that purpose.  Further, Chalmers is now often used as Skinner's partner-in-crime in many instances.  It first become really noticeable a few seasons ago, where "Chalmskin" productions hurt the episode more than helped, and that combination didn't help this episode any either.  Chalmers is at his best when he's actually angry at Skinner for one reason or another, not to team up with Skinner to cover up something or working together to earn the school money.

Final Score: 6.2

How the Test Was Won (S20, E11-431)

Skinner is likely thinking "this is still not worse than Vietnam... right?"

Plot Summary
Its the first day of school, and the kids have varying levels of excitement for it.  However, Principal Skinner informs the kids that they'll be taking federally-mandated aptitude tests in a couple of weeks, and the students' performance will affect funding.  As a result, everyone in school goes through a two week course of test preparation, including learning answer patterns.  The day of the test arrives, and both Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers are there to inform Bart that he got a perfect score on a practice test, and as a result gets to skip the real test and have a pizza party elsewhere.  Bart is thrilled, but soon finds out that it was a ruse; the bus with the other 'top scores' includes only Jimbo, Dolph, Kearney, Nelson and Ralph.  It turns out that Skinner and Chalmers are pushing aside the kids who would provide low test scores and the school can't afford any screw ups.  Chalmers agrees, and tricks Skinner onto the bus as well as it goes off.

In a side story, Homer is tasked by Marge to pay the insurance bill, which has come in handy for Homer's various accidents.  However, Homer forgets, and soon two weeks have passed (the same two weeks as earlier), and Homer finally realizes what's happened.  He sends the bill directly to the office, but reads a sign stating nobody will be back until 3 PM, and makes it a mission to avoid getting hurt.  Upon carefully returning home, Homer also realizes that nobody else can get hurt on his property or he'll be liable.  Worse yet, Marge is hosting a book club, whose patrons are walking a fine line of danger.  Homer is able to keep everyone there safe, but accidentally throws out a small knife that hits someone outside.  It's Mr. Burns, but luckily for Homer it was 3:01 when Burns was hit, so insurance will have it covered (probably).

Skinner, despite having been betrayed by Chalmers, still follows the mission of taking the boys to Capital City for the day.  However, Skinner takes the boys for a bathroom break, and upon returning is stunned to find the bus scrapped for parts.  The group now travels Capital City on foot, but Skinner loses track of Ralph, who somehow winds up on a trash barge.  Skinner tries to warn a nearby crane operator, but accidentally knocks him out instead, causing the container the guy was lifting to bust open and spill out pianos, right in the path of Ralph and the barge.  Skinner busts into action and jumps on top of the container, and runs around it, using the principle of conservation of angular motion to move the container away from the barge.  The boys are impressed that Skinner has actually applied knowledge to save Ralph, and the group rides the barge back to Springfield.

Throughout all of this, Chalmers has handled the test day rather poorly, giving everyone test anxiety (except Milhouse apparently).  Worse yet, Lisa has completely fallen apart, finding herself unable to answer a single question, and is ready to lament the failure that will be the rest of her life.  However, Skinner busts in just in time with the boys, and puts a halt to the test, realizing that real knowledge is acquired not in school, but on the streets.  Lisa is saved, I guess, and to celebrate the occasion, Skinner abolishes his ban on dancing.

Quick Review
This episode starts off slow and ends on a worthless note with the dancing.  The portions inbetween were alright, particularly Homer when he isn't insured, but it isn't enough to save the episode.

Final Score: 6.6

Any Given Sundance (S19, E18-418)

Movie stardom turns everyone into monsters, it seems.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons go to a football game between Springfield U and Springfield A&M not to watch the game, but to enjoy the tailgating food beforehand.  Lisa is initially bored with the whole thing, but with Marge's push, Lisa decides to simply film the things that occur during the tailgate, enjoying the supposed 'artistic' side of reality.  She turns in the video to her AV class, but gets only a 3/5.  Lisa goes to Principal Skinner to complain, but Skinner sees the video as something more than a 5/5, he believes Lisa is a natural filmmaker, and that he's more than willing to help Lisa create another film in the eventual hope that she'll win an Oscar and give it to him.  Lisa agrees to make another film, and Skinner gives her the perfect thing for the film to be about: her family.

As Lisa starts filming her family, Superintendent Chalmers visits Skinner, and the two agree that Lisa's film is of utmost importance, agreeing to submit Lisa's film to the Sundance Film Festival upon its completion.  The ultra-hipster film committee there loves Lisa's background, and accepts the movie on that alone without actually watching the movie.  The Simpson are invited to the festival where they get to see Lisa's movie.  However, the film actually paints the members in a rather negative light, yet the movie is huge hit with the audience.  The family gets mad at Lisa for how the movie portrayed them (especially after the film admits Lisa did the editing as well), and they grow tired of the crowd constantly hounding and mocking them.

Lisa regrets what she's done, but she is met by another filmmaker, the notable(?) Jim Jarmusch.  He takes Lisa to watch another film, also submitted by Skinner and Chalmers (who have since become big shots at Sundance).  This film, which chronicles Nelson's awful life, becomes an even bigger hit, and the present-minded Sundance audience have forgotten about the Simpsons so they can praise their new lords, the Muntz family.  Lisa thanks Jarmusch for his help, and the family forgives Lisa for her movie, admiring her quirky way of showing her love for them.

Quick Review
This was another mostly boring episode.  To be fair, Jim Jarmusch provided a much better guest spot than what I was expecting and his presence helped boost the episode.  However, the combination of Skinner and Chalmers, usually a rock-solid source of comedy, started to hinder the episode once they teamed up at Sundance, which hurt the episode.  The "production company" the two create in this episode, ChalmSkin, is referenced often in later episodes, and always very poorly.  In all, its another weak entry as the season falls to a disastrous close.

Final Score: 6.0

The Debarted (S19, E13-413)

Bart can't believe these kids are drawing him for art class, moreso than his predicament.

Plot Summary
Marge crashes Homer's car while trying to take the kids to school.  Homer gets it repaired, but it'll take a week so in the meantime he's given a loaner car to drive (is this really a thing, I've never seen this).  The loaner car is much, much better than his old one, so when Homer's car is fixed, he refuses to go get it, opting to keep the nicer loaner.  However, later, Homer sees that his car is being sold for $99 at the car shop, and that a group of low-brow individuals are about to buy and ruin it.  Homer realizes his error and quickly reclaims his old car.

Meanwhile, Bart is being upstaged by a new kid at school, Donny.  After Homer cheers him up, Bart decides to pull a massive prank on Principal Skinner, which works like a charm.  However, when Skinner returns to find who did it, Donny takes the fall.  This act gets to Bart, who now considers Donny a friend.  However, it turns out that Donny and Skinner are working together, in hopes of Donny getting close to Bart and learning all of his schemes and plots so they can be stopped.

This plan works for awhile, as all of Bart's pranks seem to backfire on him, earning Skinner a good laugh.  A frustrated Bart, though, gets help from Groundskeeper Willie, who lets him know there's a rat in his group (but doesn't know who).  Bart rounds up his posse, which is him, Milhouse, Nelson and now Donny, and Bart fingers Milhouse to be that rat, stuffing him in a locker some ways away.  With that out of the way, Bart reveals a new scheme: to egg Skinner's house with large ostrich eggs.  A short time later, though, Bart sees that Skinner's tongue is blue; he had given Donny 'bluevines' earlier as a sign of friendship, and only those things could give a tongue that blue hue.  Bart realizes who the real rat is.

On the night of the egging, Bart and Nelson lead Donny to a shack near the school which Willie allows them access too.  Bart outs Donny as the rat, who reveals that Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers plucked Donny from an orphanage for the specific purpose of getting close to Bart.  Bart then reveals an even bigger scheme that Donny won't be able to stop: destroying Skinner's office with a combination of Mentos and Diet Coke.  However, Skinner and Chalmers are both right there, having been tipped off by another mole: Willie.  Nelson runs off, but the two capture Bart, and plan on sending him to juvenile hall.  Donny, feeling miserable for his part in this, rebels and takes the nearby Diet Coke and Mentos, and smashes them together.  Bart and Donny are able to escape the ensuing carnage, and Bart and Donny become real friends with no ulterior motives.

Quick Review
This wasn't that good of an episode.  Homer's loaner car subplot was too short for it to have any potential, and the main plot was really lacking in humor, which is a shame given the characters involved are usually good for a few laughs.

Final Score: 6.7

Yokel Chords (S18, E14-392)

I bet they were disappointed to learn that wasn't real moonshine. (It wasn't, right?)

Plot Summary
After Homer fails to give the kids any actual lunch for school, Bart comes up with a plan to get some food come lunch time.  He starts to spread a tale across school about the "Dark Stanley Murders", a cafeteria worker who went mad over kids mocking his lack of a college degree, killing those kids and putting them in his stew.  Kids across school start to freak out, and it culminates at lunch time when Bart fakes his own murder at the hands of Stanley, causing every other kid to freak out and flee, allowing Bart to eat their left-behind food.  Principal Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers get caught up in the chaos as the kids all flee school.  As Skinner catches Bart, quickly realizing he's behind this, he also orders Groundskeeper Willie to round up and return all the fleeing kids.  Willie does so, but also brings in seven yokel children who do not attend the school, all of whom are "fathered" by Cletus.  Skinner reveals that if he let those children go to school, test scores would plummet and the school would lose its already limited funding.  Lisa, who overhears this, doesn't care about that, though, and demands those children get a proper education.  Skinner and Chalmers quickly formulate an idea to make everyone happy: have Lisa tutor the kids!

Bart is sent to a professional psychiatrist, whom the school has paid for five sessions.  Bart isn't interested in what the woman, Dr. Stacey Swanson, has to say, but she hooks him in with a video game he likes, and soon he's willing to reveal all of his pain to the woman.  However, before he can finish, the five sessions are up, leaving Bart unwilling to move on, thinking about Swanson all the time.  Marge picks up on this, and pays for one more session for Bart.  There, Bart is able to finish airing out his problems, and is happy upon finishing.  He leaves with 20 minutes left in the session, leaving Swanson unwilling to part (perhaps because she was using Bart as a fill in for her son who died from the Dark Stanley murders, the episode claims?).

Meanwhile, Lisa begins to teach the seven Spuckler kids, but with their knowledge coming along slowly Lisa decides to take them to downtown Springfield to soak in some culture.  The kids get into a song and dance routine in the process, which catches the eye of Krusty the Klown.  Despite Lisa's protests, Cletus signs the kids to a contract with Krusty, where they sing as a group of yokel kids while Cletus blows his money on nothing.  Frustrated, Lisa decides to bring in the kid's mother, Brandine, who was apparently stationed in Iraq until now.  Brandine reveals that Cletus is only the father of the two untalented kids, essentially voiding the deal.  The kids thank Lisa for teaching them about the world, and the Spuckler family is back to normal.

Quick Review
The episode starts off strong in the first few minutes with Bart's tale and the resulting consequences.  Krusty's appearance and Bart's sudden need to get psychiatric help were fairly good as well.  Still, the comedy died off as the episode came to a close, with the rather odd ending of war veteran Brandine coming in to put a stop to the problem.  If it wasn't for that, this episode probably would've been the best of the season.  As it stands, it's still better than most other episodes found this season.

Final Score: 7.0

Girls Just Want to Have Sums (S17, E19-375)

The saga of Jake "Toilet" Boymen almost ended before it began.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons see a play about Itchy & Scratchy.  Its a hit, and afterwords the crowd demands to see its director, Juliana.  As she goes to thank the crowd, Principal Skinner comes out of nowhere to point out that she graduated from Springfield Elementary in an effort to point out that such graduates actually have futures.  However, Skinner accidentally states that girls are weaker than boys in math and science, the 'real' subjects, and there is instant backlash.  At a later press conference, Skinner tries to make up for it, but only makes things much worse.  Superintendent Chalmers has no choice but to relieve Skinner of his duties, and appoint a new Principal: Melanie Upfoot.  The first thing she does is to separate the school into halves: one for boys and the other for girls.

At first, Lisa is thrilled that she'll finally be able to learn without boys getting in the way.  Upon entering the newly remodeled school, the girl's half looks much fancier, containing artwork and such, much to Lisa's delight.  However, she's disappointed to learn that the girl's math class, taught by Upfoot herself, is more about confidence boosting, and there's no actual math to be learned.  Lisa sneaks over to the boy's half of school.  Here, she finds it to be a no man's land, with Skinner having been reduced to Assistant Groundskeeper.  Still, she sees a class do some hardcore geometry, and she wants in.  Marge helps Lisa out by giving her daughter a new persona, a boy named Jake Boymen.

While Lisa gets to enjoy difficult math, "Jake" has trouble fitting in as "he" is quickly referred to as Toilet, and accidentally gets into a fight with Nelson Muntz.  Bart spies Lisa crying in her room while still dressed as Jake and, after learning why she's doing this, decides to help Lisa become a boy in order to survive.  With Bart's help, Lisa is able to become both a math whiz and, I dunno, an assistant bully or something.  Either way, she's eventually given an award for her math prowess.  Its then where she reveals that Jake is actually Lisa, to the shock of some.  Lisa tries to teach everyone that girls can be great at math too if given the chance, but she still has some of the 'boy' that Bart taught her as well.

Quick Review
This episode hardly had the time to be funny, spending way too much time embroiled in gender differences to push in actual comedy.  The bits were Skinner were nearly unbearable to watch.  The Itchy & Scratchy play at the beginning was probably the funniest the episode had to offer, as everything went severely downhill from there.

Final Score: 4.3

The President Wore Pearls (S15, E03-316)

That suit doesn't do a good job of hiding her big butt.  Yeah, I said it.

Plot Summary
The elementary school hosts a casino night as suggested by student body president Martin Prince.  However, when Martin 'reminds' everyone that they're not playing with real money, a riot ensues leaving the room a mess.  Principal Skinner is forced to have Martin resign as president.  The next day, Lisa sees a signup sheet for student body president, and decides to enter.  However, the far more popular Nelson signs as well, and with nobody caring about the things she does it looks like she's going to lose the election to Nelson.  Just then, Lisa pulls out a song to tell everyone what she's going to do as president, and the kids rally behind it and elect Lisa as president.

The school's staff, including Principal Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers, are worried that Lisa's current popularity combined with her always present awareness will make her rather formidable, and decide to appeal to Lisa's vanity to control her.  They calls Lisa into the teacher's lounge and, through the power of song, dress Lisa up in successful clothing and convince her that her real job as president is to look good to the student body.  They also have her unwittingly sign a form supposedly to allow her access to the study hall at any time.  The next day, Lisa along with everyone else is shocked to learn that the school has taken away art, music and gym, and that Lisa signed the form to allow it.

Disgusted at what she became, Lisa's determination is renewed, and is able to lead the students into striking.  With the police on their side, the students are determined to get their extracurriculars back.  However, Chalmers realizes that the body will fall once it loses its head, and decides to take out Lisa, by transferring her to the Springfield Magnet School for the gifted and troublesome.  Her rally at an end, Lisa is saddened, though she perks up when she arrives at her new school.  Just then, Homer arrives to take Lisa back to her old school, absolutely unwilling to drive her to this new school manually.  The episode then states the school found money to reinstate art, music and gym by cancelling flu shots and selling loose cigarettes, so it all works out.

Quick Review
This episode, which took a decidedly musical turn, ends up being better than what I was expecting.  I suppose this is because several characters, like Skinner and Groundskeeper Willie, salvage the otherwise bland plot with their usual brand of hijinks and humor.

Final Score: 7.5

Lisa Gets an A (S10, E07-210)

"Hi, Lisa!  Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!"

Plot Summary
After church, the Simpson family goes out for brunch: by going to a supermarket and eating samples.  There, Homer is trying to 'sample' some ice cream, 'using' Lisa to get the ones further in the freezer.  The experience leaves Lisa with a cold.  Before leaving, Homer tries to 'sample' some lobsters, but his toothpick can't pierce their shells.  Unable to afford one at $8 a pound, Homer craftily comes up with the idea of buying a tiny lobster and then feeding it to become a large, meaty one.

Lisa's cold persists to Monday, and despite Lisa's best attempts to go to school, Marge forces her to stay home for the day.  Trying to get Lisa to take it easy by not learning, Marge has Lisa play one of Bart's video games: Dash Dingo.  Lisa soon becomes addicted to the game.  Later in the day, Ralph comes by with homework for Lisa: to read the book The Wind in the Willows.  However, Lisa ignores the book to play the game some more, even faking her now-gone sickness to play it for several more days.  Finally Marge figures out Lisa's scheme and takes her back to school.

Turns out, its the same day she has to take a test on the book Ralph gave her.  Having not read the book to play the game, Lisa is able to get Ms. Hoover to let her have a drink of water in the hall before coming back to take the test.  Needing a miracle, Lisa sees Bart coming back, who's willing to help.  Taking her to the boy's bathroom, Bart takes Lisa to a stall where Nelson has a seemingly complete collection of "study aides" for sale.  Realizing that this is cheating, Lisa also fears that getting a 0 on the test could ruin her future.  With that on her mind, Lisa decides to get the relevant paper to cheat on the test.  Cheat she does, as the next day she gets a very high grade for the test: an A+++.  Afterwards, though, Lisa feels remorse for going through with it.

The score gains the notice of Principal Skinner, who calls Lisa in to discuss it.  It seems Lisa's grade has pushed the school's GPA up to the state's minimum standard, enabling the school to receive a basic assistance grant.  Lisa can't take it anymore, and reveals to Skinner that she cheated on the test.  When Lisa also reveals that Skinner is the only other adult that knows, Skinner breathes a sigh of relief as the trouble can still be swept under the rug.  Angered, Lisa has Superintendent Chalmers come in somehow, but he agrees with Skinner.  Chalmers takes Lisa around school, showing how dilapidated and technologically behind the school has been without the grant money, and pleads with her to keep it a secret for the sake of the school.  Lisa reluctantly agrees.

The school has a ceremony for the grant, and the state comptroller is to issue the money.  Lisa, though, realizes the truth is more important, and reveals her cheating to the crowd, who are disgusted.  The comptroller comes to Lisa's defense, though, stating her courage impressed him so much that the school will still get the fund anyway.  Lisa leaves the ceremony happy with how it turns out.  As she leaves, Bart closes the door behind her, as it turns out that ceremony was staged, Skinner knowing Lisa's conscience would show up at the end, with Otto playing the role of the comptroller.  With the real comptroller just now walking in, he presents the real grant money to the school, with everyone seemingly in the scheme to keep Lisa from ruining it.  Lisa is proud to of gotten the F on her test even if it isn't official (not that she knows).

As for the lobster subplot, Homer becomes attached to the lobster, whom he nicknames "Pinchy", as he grows, unable to part with the lobster when the time comes to cook it.  Keeping it as a pet instead, Homer makes a fatal error when, after Pinchy gets dirty playing in mud, he gives the lobster a hot bath.  Apparently the bath was too hot, and Pinchy is cooked right then and there.  Homer mourns the loss of his friend by eating Pinchy himself, noting that Pinchy is, in fact, delicious.

Quick Review
After the last two episodes, Lisa Gets an A is a refreshing step towards quality.  The main plot really picks up once Skinner and Chalmers try to keep Lisa's cheating a secret, and the scheme with the comptroller was really well done (Skinner asking everyone to applaud "the real comptroller" was funny as well).  Homer's subplot with Pinchy was silly but still very well done as was the way it ended.  An excellent episode, its Season 10's best episode thus far.

Final Score: 9.2

The Principal and the Pauper (S09, E02-180)

"Armin Tamzarian's reign of terror is over.  Now let us welcome our new
Principal Skinner... Principal Seymour Skinner!"  *pause*  "Uh, him."

Plot Summary
Principal Skinner is given a surprise party for having been principal at the elementary school for 20 years now.  As the celebration gets underway, an unknown man is driven by the school (where the party is being held), and requests to go there.  As Skinner states how proud he is to be Seymour Skinner, the man barges in claiming to be Seymour Skinner himself.  Principal Skinner immediately recognizes the man as the real Seymour Skinner, revealing himself to be an impostor.

The real Skinner reveals that he wasn't killed in combat, but rather captured and put to work in a shoe factory until a week ago, where the UN shut it down and rescued him.  The principal reveals that, much to Bart's amusement, his real name is Armin Tamzarian.  As a teenager, Armin was a wild, rebellious type.  He gets caught stealing an old lady's purse when he accidentally crashes his motorcycle into a judge.  He is given three options: jail, the army, or apologize to the judge and old lady.  Armin chooses the army, unaware that the Vietnam war was occurring.  Its there that Armin meets the real Skinner, his unit commander, who gives his life meaning.  Soon, though, Skinner is lost in combat, missing but presumed dead.  Armin once again feels lost, but decides it should be him that informs Skinner's mother of what had happened.  When the two meet, Agnes mistakes Armin as her son.  Armin, unable to find it within him to tell her the truth, decides to play along, and assumes Seymour's identity which gave both Armin and Agnes blissful contentment.

Armin tries to resume his duty as Principal, but the weight of everyone knowing the lie is too much.  He resigns as principal, offering the spot to the real Skinner (who says that if a man pretending to be Skinner can do it, then therefore the real Skinner must be more than capable as well).  He then decides to 'leave town forever', fully resuming his life as street punk Armin Tamzarian.

Although the real Skinner isn't bad per se, Mrs. Krabappel (who got into a relationship with Armin not that long ago) isn't fond of the new Seymour, and Agnes absolutely can not stand how independent her real son is.  The two share their annoyances with Marge, who comes up with the idea to bring Armin back.  The three of them alongside Homer, the kids, Grampa and Jasper for various reasons, all find Armin in Capitol City, and as Agnes reveals that she considers Armin her real son, Armin decides to come back.

The group comes back with Armin declaring he'll happily resume being the school's principal, however the real Skinner steps in, unwilling to just be pushed away and demands respect as a war veteran.  Homer quickly comes up with a compromise: tying Skinner up on a chair on a train and give him an honorable salute as he is sent out of town.  Homer then has Judge Snyder officially give Armin the name Seymour Skinner along with the past, present, future, and mother of that name.  Snyder also forces everyone to forget these events ever occurred, and that any one who brings it up will be disciplined with torture.  With that, the status quo is kinda sorta back to normal.

Quick Review
There are some people who do not like this episode.  People who don't like that a likable character for so long had been revealed as a fraud, but then suddenly its all "oh hey forget about that, its legally non canon, we good now"?  Even series creator Matt Groening finds this episode less than enjoyable, to say the least.

Personally, I don't care.  Even when this episode came out, the show had been around for nine seasons and though there were many things that carried over from certain episodes, like Skinner and Krabappel's relationship, its hard to say that a show where nobody ages can have some kind of rock-solid canon for nine seasons.  Besides, when something screwy happens to another character for an episode, how often does it get brought back up other than a quick reference joke?  That same has been true here, only having been referenced twice since, and really the show has done far more enraging things than say Skinner was a fraud but was legally not a fraud anymore.

Now, as for the quality of the episode's humor, it does alright.  It slows down during the middle of the episode when Armin explains what happened, but there's plenty of jokes and such around that which makes this another strong episode in terms of humor, even if you don't like the premise.

Final Score: 8.9

Grade School Confidential (S08, E19-172)

Lucky for the rest of us we won't ever had to worry
about being a 44 year old virgin, right?  Am I right?

Plot Summary
Martin Prince is having a birthday party, and invites everyone including his teacher Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner.  Bart and Milhouse decide to go out of boredom.  There, Krabappel and Skinner have a talk, as the two wonder how their lives have come to this.  As Skinner is hounded again by his mother, who is apparently the next door neighbor of the Princes, Edna and Seymour hide out in a tea party house Martin just happens to have.  The two come to realize their feelings for one another.  Around this time, every kid at the party gets sick, as the oysters served at the party instead of cake turned out to be pretty bad.  Bart is the only one who didn't eat those oysters (well, neither did Lisa but she faking it to leave the party), and is able to spy on something very interesting: Skinner and Krabappel kissing in the tea house.

The next day, Bart is about to spill the beans on what he saw, but Skinner is able to stop him just in time.  After failing to provide a competent "excuse" for what Bart saw, he and Edna decide to make a deal: have his sordid permanent record switched with a mostly clean file (Milhouse's), in exchange he keeps the newfound relationship secret.  Bart agrees to do so, and Edna and Seymour continue their relationship.  At first everything is fine, but things quickly turn to panic as the two are met by Superintendent Chalmers at a movie theatre.  To quickly throw off suspicion, Skinner hastily grabs and brings Barts along to fool Chalmers into thinking its some kind of field trip.  From there, both Krabappel and Skinner abuse Bart to further their love.  After an incident where Skinner has Bart 'relay' his feelings for Edna, Bart has had enough.  He gathers everyone he can in the school, and leads them to a janitorial closet.  Having everyone's faces set to 'stunned', he opens the door to reveal Skinner and Krabappel making out in the closet.

Kids are an exaggerating kind, and as they go home they tell their parents all sorts of exaggerations as to what they saw, from "seeing them naked" to seeing them "making babies, and I saw one of the babies, and the baby looked at me".  Chalmers quickly hears of the rumors, and demands that Skinner and Krabappel split up, or lose their jobs.  Skinner refuses to give up his love, and as a result he and Edna are given the end of the day to pack up and leave.

Bart feels guilt for what's happening, and decides to rectify matters.  He convinces the two to barricade themselves in the school until they get their jobs back, and is able to get the news to cover it behind a phony escaped octopus tale.  Chalmers demands the two to leave the building, and the police try their best to force them out with music and lights, but only make the scene more romantic.  With the standoff becoming more of a stalemate, the two decide to confront the masses.  As the two try to question why their love must be sacrificed just to keep their jobs, the townspeople relay the rumors their kids told them: that they were "making babies" in the closet.  Skinner furiously denies those allegations, stating (eventually) that he is still a virgin.  The townspeople realize that nobody would even try to claim himself as a 44 year old virgin unless it were true and as such the rumors must not be true, and thus lay off the two, allowing them to regain their jobs.

Afterward, the two tell Bart they're breaking up anyway given the stress of having a private relationship blown up to the public.  Just as you think the status quo had been restored, turns out the two were simply lying to Bart, and are now having their relationship under more secrecy than ever.

Quick Review
It may not look it if you don't delve too deep into the episode or its dialogue, but there's a lot of good, funny jokes in the episode that many may miss if they're not careful.  More humorous portions included Martin's party, and that period of time when Bart was being used by the two for their own lustful affairs.  Its another strong episode in a strong season.

Final Score: 9.5

22 Short Films About Springfield (S07, E21-149)

"Skinner with his crazy explanations, the Superintendent's gonna
need his medication.  When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations,
there'll be trouble in town tonight!"

Plot Summary
Despite the title, there aren't 22 sub stories that fill this episode.  It's close to 22, but not quite.  Not that its a problem or anything.  Here, in minor detail, is every story featured:

1) Prologue: Bart and Milhouse, while chucking stuff at cars from a bridge above, wonder about the tales the people of Springfield have to tell, which sets up the rest of the episode.

2) "Apu in: The Jolly Bengali": As the two boys go to the Kwik-E-Mart to buy candy, Sanjay invites Apu to a party at his house.  Apu, unwilling to leave the Kwik-E-Mart for long, agrees to go for five minutes.  At the party, Apu pretty much has the full party experience in even less time, though he inadvertently locked Hans Moleman in the store in the meantime.

3) Lisa's Hair Problem (Part 1): As Lisa is recycling, Bart zooms along on his skateboard and tosses some gum away, unknowingly throwing it into Lisa's hair.  Lisa runs to Marge for help, but Marge only has oddball remedies for getting gum out of hair, such as applying peanut butter or mayo into the gum, but this doesn't seem to be working.  She has Lisa sit outside to let it sink it, but she's attacked by a swarm of hornets.

4) Smithers' Bee Problem: One bee flies off from Lisa and heads to the park, where it lands on Smithers (who is deathly allergic to bees), who is in the middle of a bike ride with Mr. Burns.  Burns, irritated that Smithers has slowed down, tries to shoo the bee away, but it stings Smithers instead.  With Smithers in dire need for help, Burns gets Smithers help the only way he knows how: by commanding Smithers to pedal the two all the way to the hospital.  The two make it but both collapse.  Rescue workers come out to help, but only grab Burns.

5) Dr. Nick's Malpractice Problem: After Nick confuses Smithers as a bum ("Holy smokes!  You need booze!"), he goes to a meeting with other doctors who confront him on a malpractice suit against him.  Just then, a crazy old man (Grampa) is causing havoc and insists on seeing a quack.  Nick steps up and 'calms' Grampa by telling him he has a condition where his skeleton is trying to escape the body, and uses 'electrotherapy' to 'cure' him.  The doctors drop the suit in forgiveness, and Nick gives Jasper a free nose job in celebration.

6) Moe's Burglary Problem: Moe officially calculates Barney's bar tab to be in the billions, but gets $2000 from him right away.  Snake runs in to rob Moe, holding Barney hostage.  Moe runs to safety inside a hidden, bulletproof compartment (with little air), which just allows Snake to loot Moe's newly acquired tab and run off.

7) "Skinner and the Superintendent": Skinner invites Chalmers for lunch, but burns his roast by mistake.  Using a series of lies and fabrications, Skinner is able to convince Chalmers that a bunch of Krusty Burgers he desperately bought is a family recipe and that the fire in the kitchen from the roast in actually Aurora Borealis in his own kitchen.  In all, it was a successful luncheon.

8) Homer's Maggie Problem: Hands full of groceries and Maggie, Homer sees an importantly headline in a newspaper stand, and goes to buy it right away, fumbling his possessions in the process.  He gets his paper, but accidentally gets Maggie stuck in the stand.  Having no usable quarters left and unwilling to leave Maggie to get more, Homer decides to just uproot the stand completely and take it home.

9) The Police's Hamburger Problem: Lou describes his time at a Shelbyville McDonalds, a restaurant that has zero presence in Springfield.  After hearing horrors about Krusty Partially Gelatinated Non-Dairy Gum-Based Beverages being called simply "shakes" at McDonalds, Wiggum has heard enough and goes out for donuts.

10) Bumblebee Man's Clumsiness Problem: After a hard day playing the bumbling bee at work, the actor tries to have a relaxing moment at home, but an incident involving oranges causing his clumsiness to take full effect, destroying the house and forcing his wife to divorce him.

11) Snake's Wiggum Problem: Coming off the heist, Snake is in a bind when he sees Wiggum, who just bought some donuts.  Panicking, Snakes tries to run over Wiggum, but crashes into a wall.  The two get into a brawl which goes into Herman's store, where he holds the two hostage for some reason.

12) Lovejoy's Flanders Problem: Reverend Lovejoy brought his dog to Flanders' yard for the sole purpose of having the dog do its business there.  Class act, Reverend.

13) Lisa's Hair Problem (Part 2): As Flanders goes to retrieve his shovel from Homer, he spies Marge still trying to get gum out of Lisa's hair.  He offers to help, but it doesn't seem to work.  Other townspeople chime in to give advice to Lisa's predicament, which only irritates the poor girl.

14) "Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel": Cletus finds a pair of boots for Brandine's job interview, but as they wouldn't really work well on the topless dancing runway, he has to return them where he found them: dangling on a wire.

15) Milhouse's Bathroom Problem: Milhouse desperately needs to use the bathroom, trying to do so at the comic book shop, but a transaction is required, and as Milhouse is doing that his dad gets him in trouble and takes him away before he could use the bathroom.

16) Wiggum and Snake in a Problem, Featuring Milhouse: Milhouse's next attempt is at Herman's shop, where his father notices both Wiggum and Snake beat up and tied up with Herman just standing there.  As Herman readies to take the elder Van Houten hostage, Milhouse accidentally knocks Herman out with a mace he grabbed.  Wiggum then tries to make his escape.

17) Lisa's Hair Problem (Part 3): Lisa passes Wiggum but is far too concerned about her hair to think about anything else.  She goes to the barber who cuts that part of her hair off, then stylizes it to make it look good.  Lisa starts feeling good again, but is immediately laughed at by Nelson.

18) Nelson's Tall Man Problem: Afterwards, Nelson laughs at Mrs. Glick tripping into a trash can, then laughs at a man driving a rather tiny car.  The man stops and steps out, revealing himself to be rather tall.  Nelson tries to escape, but the tall man catches him.  After a failed attempt at reasoning with the boy, the tall man decides to publicly humiliate Nelson instead, pulling down his pants and having townspeople laugh at him instead.

19) Epilogue: As Bart and Milhouse squirt condiments on Nelson from above, Bart realizes that there are indeed plenty of tales to be told by the townsfolk, but there simply just isn't enough time to hear them all.

20) "The Tomfoolery of Professor Frink": The professor runs in, his skit having been delayed by literal monkey trouble at the lab, but as he tries to sink his bit's theme song, the episode goes into credits and Frink promises that the monkey'll pay for this.

Quick Review
22 Short Films About Springfield, a rather experimental episode at the time, is one of the best episodes of the series.  There is just so many things that work right here.  I think part of it is that there are a good number of jokes in every bit that the writers forced in to make sure each bit is gold, but with so many bits there ends up being a lot of quality throughout.  Its a wonderfully written episode and its a shame more episodes like this were never made afterward.

Final Score: 10

Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song (S05, E19-100)

"I finally have time to do what I've always wanted: write the great American novel.
Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life
through advanced cloning techniques.  I call it 'Billy and the Cloneasaurus'."

Plot Summary
Desperate to find something for show and tell, Bart decides to bring along Santa's Little Helper.  While the dog is a hit at the presentation, Martin pressures Bart to put the dog in the closet so he can show off his geode.  While in the closet, the dog is able to make his way into the air vent, causing chaos.  Skinner orders Groundskeeper Willie to grease up and go into the vents to capture the dog.  Willie does so, but winds up in the vent above the gymnasium, too high up to leave.  The fire department is brought in to help them out, while Superintendent Chalmers catches wind of the incident and fires Skinner.

While Bart mistakes a spider bite for guilt, Chalmers hires the head of the PTA, Ned Flanders, as the new principal.  Ned, who remembers his parents being rule-less beatniks, is unwilling to enforce discipline.  He installs an "honor system", and soon the school quickly descends to chaos as teachers refuse to leave the lounge.  Meanwhile, Bart sees Skinner in the Kwik-E-Mart in civilian clothes, and then later in the laundromat looking rather pathetic in both instances.  Bart feels sorry for him and goes to visit Skinner at his house.  The two spend more time with one another, but Skinner deeply misses the school still.  Only one other thing has given Skinner's life meaning, and its what Skinner decides to go back to: the army.

Missing Skinner as a friend, and even more so an enemy, Bart decides to get Skinner back into the school.  He finds Skinner and convinces him to come back, after Skinner realizes that the army hasn't really changed at all.  Bart's big plan is to have Chalmers fire Ned after seeing the state of the school.  However, Chalmers actually doesn't care, noting that all public schools are going to devolve to this level sooner than later.  At that moment, Ned gives a message on the PA that includes the phrase "thank the Lord".  Realizing that its a prayer in a public school, Chalmers becomes outraged and fires Flanders, hiring Skinner back if only because "he knows the students' names".  Skinner thanks Bart for what he's done, and the two happily become enemies again.

Quick Review
Most shows celebrate 100 episodes in some big way.  The Simpsons celebrate 100 episodes with a passing mention of milestones in the chalkboard gag and then presenting a silly story featuring Bart's principal.  The 100th episode of the series is by no means the best of the 100, but its still a funny episode that delivers plenty of humor and a plot that sets up those jokes well.  Skinner is a difficult character to mess up, but this episode does a fine job with his character and the relationship between him and Bart.

Final Score: 8.8