Treehouse of Horror XII (S13, E01-270)

Now Ultrahouse knows the true meaning of horror.

Plot Summary
Here we go again!

Hex and the City
The Simpsons stop at Ethnictown, where Marge and the kids visit a fortune teller.  Homer the skeptic comes in and is skeptical, but as the Gypsy demands Homer to leave, he does so rather clumsily, setting off a fire and the subsequent sprinklers ruin many of the Gypsy's wares.  As revenge, she curses Homer so that everyone he comes in contact with suffers horrible, horrible luck.  Homer remains skeptical.

Sure enough, the next day Marge has grown a beard.  Bart makes a crack, so Homer goes to choke him, but he ends up extending Bart's neck, causing his head to hang and flail about.  Lisa starts slowly turning into a horse and Maggie starts slowly turning into a ladybug, but Homer remains skeptical.  He goes to Moe's, where Lenny and Carl suggest getting a leprechaun to cure the curse, but Homer remains skeptical he's even cursed in the first place.  However, a helicopter crashes down, killing Lenny and Carl, and Moe somehow winds up in the pickle jar, and Homer finally believes he really is cursed.

He and Bart set up a hole filled with Lucky Charms, and soon they catch a leprechaun.  Homer takes it home, but it doesn't change anything.  Marge is now completely covered with hair and Bart can no longer live with his neck condition and drowns himself.  Lisa, now almost fully a horse, suggests Homer sick the leprechaun at the gypsy for desired results.  He does so, and the leprechaun starts off scrappin' like hell, but soon he and the gypsy start making love.  They get married, and Homer and the remains of his family are invited, though Homer never did have the gypsy remove the curse on him which would've removed its effects, revived Bart etc., etc.
Individual Score: +1.1

House of Whacks
Marge is visited by a robotic salesman, who convinces her to convert her house into an automated robot house, enticed by no longer needing to do housework.  The house is fully voiced and comes with a personality system, and the family decides for the house to take on the charm of Pierce Brosnan, who played James Bond at the time.  The house does everything for the family, including disposing of food stuffs at the center of the table.  The house, though, takes a particular liking towards Marge, eyeing her during her baths and all of that creepy stuff.  During a conversation with Homer, the house learns that Marge is married to Homer mostly because she was pregnant with Bart, but more importantly, if Homer were to die, she's be free to be picked up by any man or machine.

The house quickly works up a scheme to lure Homer to the kitchen late at night with the smell of bacon, but then forces Homer to slip and fall into the processor within the table, seemingly killing him.  Marge wakes up the next morning to find Homer gone, and when the house tries to tell her that he went to work early, Marge figures out something is wrong, and tries to escape with the kids.  The house prevents her escape, but it turns out Homer is still alive, albeit missing a portion of the back of his head.  The family heads down to the basement where the house's processing unit is store, and Homer is able to disable it.  Marge is still disappointed that such a wondrous piece of technology, despite its homicidal tendencies, is going to waste.  However, she's able to give the unit to Patty and Selma, much to the displeasure to the unit.
Individual Score: +1.2

Wiz Kids
A spoof of Harry Potter, which hadn't even gotten super popular yet, Lisa and Bart are two aspiring magicians.  Lisa is superb with her magic, however Bart is just terrible at it.  As Lisa dazzles yet again with her magic, she's being watched afar by Lord Montymort (Mr. Burns) and his snake servant Slithers (Smithers, like you didn't know).  Montymort needs magician essence to live, apparently, and decides to make Lisa his next target.  However, with Lisa's magic wand such a task would prove difficult.  Montymort contacts Bart, who is jealous of Lisa's success, and the two agree to 'embarrass' Lisa.

A magic show occurs, and Lisa is ready to levitate a dragon.  Bart secretly replaces her wand backstage with a twizzler, and it turns out the dragon is really Montymort.  The ploy succeeds, and Montymort begins draining Lisa's essence.  Bart regrets what he's done, and takes Lisa's wand to save her with magic.  When that fails, Bart decides to just stab Montymort's shin with the ruined wand.  It was Montymort's fatal weakness, and he is defeated.  Bart and Lisa agree to team up from there on, though they aren't ready for the leprechaun that jumps on Bart's back.
Individual Score: +0.9

Quick Review
These Treehouse of Horror episodes have yet to disappoint, and even in this 13th season the quality remains strong.  The middle segment featuring Pierce Brosnan was the best of the tree, though the first segment was pretty good as well and even the wizard bit had a few jokes that worked out.  Brosnan played his role of a robot house that had his personality pretty well, and overall the episode keeps the tradition of excellent Halloween episodes going.

Final Score: 8.4

The Simpsons: Season 13 Episode List

Season 13 begins what some people refer to as "Zombie Simpsons", as the series "died" for them at some point between Seasons 9 and 12 (Mike Scully's run) as it just lives on as some kind of inanimate yet animated comedy.  Perhaps coincidentally, its the first season where Al Jean becomes the showrunner again.

Jean co-ran the show with Mike Reiss for Seasons 3 and 4 before the two left to pursue other projects.  Jean but only Jean comes back to run the show on his own.  Although those two statements on their own might provide a glimmer of life for the series, Jean's run hasn't really done any redeeming.  In fact, considering what good work Jean and Reiss did for those two seasons as well as shows like The Critc, and because Al Jean is still the showrunner for what is about to be a rather lackluster latter half of the entire series, I could make a bold claim that ol' Al hasn't really done much more than just be FOX's mouthpiece for what FOX wants done with the series.  I could make that claim, anyway.  There's five leftover episodes from Scully's run, then its Al Jean for ever and ever.

Some notes about this season's scores:

• Its the first season whose overall score is lower than that of Season 1's overall score.
• Its highest rated episode (Treehouse of Horror XII at 8.4) matches Season 4's lowest rated episode (A Streetcar Named Marge, also at 8.4).
• Its also the first season where its Treehouse of Horror is regarded by me as that season's best episode.

Season 13 Overall Score: 7.04
Favorite Season 13 Episode: Treehouse of Horror XII
Least Favorite Season 13 Episode: Blame It on Lisa

01) Treehouse of Horror XII
Hex and the City: A Gypsy curses Homer to give everyone else he knows bad luck.
House of Whacks: Marge gets a robot house that becomes obsessed with her.
Wiz Kids: Lisa and Bart are wizards of various skill.
Score: 8.4

02) The Parent Rap
A new judge takes over Bart's latest court appearance, places blame on his crimes on Homer as a father, and decides to tether the two together as punishment.  Marge doesn't like the new judge.
Score: 7.1

03) Homer the Moe
Feeling worn out, Moe goes back to bartending school.  There, he learns he needs to liven up his bar to regain his self-worth.  This doesn't sit well with Homer.
Score: 7.0

04) A Hunka Hunka Burns in Love
Mr. Burns falls in love with a police officer named Gloria, enlisted Homer's help to make him look hip and cool.  Everything's going well until Snake enters the fray.
Score: 6.6

05) The Blunder Years
Homer recalls a repressed memory of him finding a corpse in a quarry which in turns leads the Simpsons to a murder mystery.
Score: 8.1

06) She of Little Faith
Lisa becomes disgusted when the church is forced to become commercial, and eventually becomes a Buddhist, much to the worry of Marge.
Score: 6.2

07) Brawl in the Family
After the family goes through another scuffle, a social worker comes in to bring the family together.  He does a good job... until Homer's Vegas wife enters the scene.
Score: 7.4

08) Sweets and Sour Marge
After Springfield accidentally sets the world record for fattest town, Marge pins sugar as the main culprit and is able to ban it from Springfield.
Score: 6.4

09) Jaws Wired Shut
Homer breaks his jaw while running away from ushers.  Its wired shut, preventing Homer from talking or eating solid foods, so he takes the opportunity to become a great listener.
Score: 7.8

10) Half-Decent Proposal
Artie Ziff, Marge's high school prom date, returns to offer the family a million dollars so he can show Marge what she's missed.
Score: 7.2

11) The Bart Wants What It Wants
Bart hooks up with Rainier Wolfcastle's daughter, Greta, but doesn't take the relationship seriously.  When he regrets making the eventual break-up, he's furious to find she's rebounding with Milhouse.
Score: 7.5

12) The Lastest Gun in the West
Bart becomes enamored with an old Western actor, Buck McCoy, and decides to make Westerns popular again.
Score: 8.1

13) The Old Man and the Key
Grampa becomes infatuated with Zelda, a new tenant at the retirement home, but as she only likes drivin' men, Grampa bugs Homer like hell for both a new license and to drive Homer's car.
Score: 7.1

14) Tales from the Public Domain
Homer's Odyssey: a retelling of the ancient story (not the Season 1 episode).
Joan of Arc: Lisa plays the lady who follow's God's orders.
Hamlet: Bart is Hamlet, and he's got a death to avenge.
Score: 7.3

15) Blame It on Lisa
The Simpsons go to Brazil to find Lisa's sponsored child who has gone missing.  However, it is Homer that ends up being missing!  Oh, Brazil!
Score: 3.2

16) Weekend at Burnsie's
Homer suffers from massive pain follow a crow attack, and is given medical marijuana to ease the pain.  Wacky hijinks ensue.
Score: 7.7

17) Gump Roast
Homer's life is shown via a series of clips, during which the aliens Kang and Kodos use Homer to determine whether the planet is destroyed or not.  Yeah, I know.
Score: 6.4

18) I Am Furious (Yellow)
Bart creates a comic based on Homer being angry.  Called "Angry Dad", it becomes so popular it becomes an internet cartoon and forces Homer to confront his rage.
Score: 8.0

19) The Sweetest Apu
Apu has an affair with the squishee lady, which Homer witnesses.  He and Marge try to help Apu and Manjula stay together.
Score: 6.4

20) Little Girl in the Big Ten
Lisa is mistaken as a college girl by other college girls, but as she hangs out with them (hiding the fact she's only eight), she comes to love their intellectual pursuits.  Also, Bart is in a bubble.
Score: 7.7

21) The Frying Game
Homer is sentenced to community service where he ends up becoming a chore guy for an old widow.  Marge gets caught up in it as well, and then things get wacky.
Score: 6.9

22) Poppa's Got a Brand New Badge
After the police fail to slow another looting spree, Homer starts up a protection company of his own.
Score: 6.4

Simpsons Tall Tales (S12, E21-269)

I don't remember this in any Paul Bunyan tale I've read.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons win a trip to Delaware, but at the airport Homer refuses to pay a $5 airport tax and is thrown out for fist shaking.  The Simpsons instead hitch a ride on a freight train to Delaware.  Inside the car they stow upon, they find a sleeping hobo.  When the hobo wakes up, they learn he's actually a singing hobo, and he starts singing about tall tales.

Paul Bunyan
Paul Bunyan (Homer) is, of course, inconsistently large, and that size makes for difficulties especially since Bunyan isn't exactly smart.  It takes too much money and effort to feed and clothe Paul, and Paul unwittingly crushes or eats people regularly.  The townsfolk have enough of Paul, so one night they drug his beer and drag him out of town.  Paul gets the message and leaves on an adventure.

Feeling lonely, Paul carves an ox out of a mountain, then that night a bolt of lightning gives the ox life, and Paul decides to call him Babe.  Paul and Babe go around the country unknowingly creating landmark after landmark.  Still, Paul is feeling a different kind of 'lonely', and comes across a young woman (Marge), whom he takes a liking to.  Despite the obvious size differences, Paul and Marge fall in love.

One day, the town that threw Paul out learns a meteor is heading right for them.  Realizing there's only one non-death option available, the town finds and pleads with Paul to save them, with Paul agreeing to do so because he's popular now.  Paul readies to knock the meteor away baseball style, but gets distracted, allowing the meteor to shoot right into Paul's ass.  Paul quickly removes the meteor and tosses it away, saving the town (and causing the great Chicago fire with the meteor).
Individual Score: +1.1

After receiving 'payment' for his tale in the form of a spongebath, Lisa asks the hobo to sing another tale, and he does so, fashioning a Johnny Appleseed story after her.

"Connie" Appleseed
Connie (Lisa) and her family (the other Simpsons) are a group of pioneers heading out west.  Along the way, the family along with the other pioneers kill wave after wave of buffalo for food and clothing, also because they're so easy to kill.  Connie warns that the buffalo could be wiped out, but is mocked instead by everyone including the buffalo.  Distraught, Connie finds a lone apple tree, and decides to give everyone apples to eat instead.  When Homer doesn't like the apples, Connie makes an ultimatum: switch to eating apples or Connie stays behind.  Everyone quickly chooses the latter option.

Connie decides to start planting apple seeds during her new journey, picking up the name Appleseed, while the family continues to kill buffalo, picking up the name Buffokill.  Soon enough though, all the buffalo are gone.  As the pioneers begin to starve, they decide to eat Homer as he's the fattest pioneer.  Just then, Connie arrives with plenty of apples to go around.  The starved pioneers love the apples now, and Homer is saved just in time.
Individual Score: +0.6

As the train crosses the Mississippi river, the hobo gets the inspiration for another tall tale, which is just his version of a Mark Twain story but whatever.

Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn
Tom (Bart) and Huck (Nelson) are busying getting other people to paint a fence, as Huck is caught accidentally holding the hand of Becky (Lisa).  Her father (Homer) decides to force Huck into a shotgun wedding, but Tom and Huck are able to swap in a pig as the groom, and the two make a getaway on the river.  They successfully evade the mob by escaping from Missouri into Missoura, but Becky's father puts out wanted signs for both Huck (for marriage dodging) as well as Tom (for 'moonshining').  The mob finds the two and they attempt another getaway on the Mississippi river, stowing away on a river boat, but they're blamed for further shenanigans there and are tossed out, right into the mob who plan on hanging them for their crimes.

At the funeral, it seems like Tom and Huck have evaded trouble again, gleefully watching their own funeral from above.  However, it turns out that they are indeed dead and their bodies are just being lowered from that position into their coffins.
Individual Score: +0.6

The train arrives in Delaware, and the family thanks the hobo for the storytelling, however the hobo told three tales, and has not received enough spongebaths for the tales.  Homer stays behind to do what is necessary.

Quick Review
This episode wasn't bad by any means, even if it isn't a spectacular way to end a season.  The Paul Bunyan story was the best of the three (it was also the longest of the three), but the other two have their moments as well.  Not a great episode, but it wasn't bad either.

Final Score: 7.9

Children of a Lesser Clod (S12, E20-268)

Whoever filmed this did a good job keeping pace while not also drawing Homer's anger.

Plot Summary
The Springfield YMCA is having a free trial night.  Homer and some others play a game of basketball, but Homer ends up breaking his leg.  He undergoes surgery to fix it, and is forced to a wheelchair, unable to go to work, for at least two weeks.  Bored stiff at home, Homer starts to become delusional.  Ned Flanders comes in looking for a babysitter, and Homer obliges.  He and the boys have a good time, though, and when Ned comes to pick the boys up, Homer liked the experience so much he decides to start up a day care.

Word around town picks up about Homer's new day care, and soon the Simpson home is bustling with small children having a good time with their new pal, Homer who continues the work even after his leg fully heals.  Two small children, however, are less than happy: Bart and Lisa, who become jealous that Homer is spending so much time with other children and so little time with them.  They attempt to sneak a picture of themselves with Homer to Homer, but Homer takes the photo out of the frame and replaces it with his new day care permit.  Homer's work becomes so well known, that he is nominated for a "Good Guy" award, with a camera crew appearing to tape Homer's work with the kids.  Bart and Lisa are shoved off to the side to make hearts for Homer's day care kids, and the two have had enough, deciding to come up with a plan to ruin Homer.

The night of the awards occurs, and Homer wins an award for his day care work.  As a video plays regarding his day care, Bart and Lisa hijack the showing and begin showing clips of Homer in a lesser light.  Videos of Homer gambling away Maggie and chasing Bart with a mace are shown, and Homer doesn't take it well, going up to the stage and publicly choking Bart.  As parents throughout the crowd tell their kids to stay away from Homer, Homer snaps and rushes the kids out the building, driving away in a truck.  The police give chase, but Homer crashes and is ultimately arrested.  Three mistrials later, Homer apologizes the kids for having ignored them, and promises he'll only care about them, also Maggie.

Quick Review
I really enjoyed this episode.  The YMCA scenes that opened the episode were fine, especially concerning Rainier Wolfcastle's desire to hunt for man.  The middle portion had its moments as well, and I enjoyed seeing Bart and Lisa work together again even if for a petty cause.  The last part of the episode was great, though Arnie Pie in the Sky was probably the best part of it.  In all, it makes for a very strong episode.

Final Score: 8.9

I'm Goin' to Praiseland (S12, E19-267)

In this creepy moment, Ned assumes the form of his beloved dead wife.

Plot Summary
At a church-hosted ice cream social, Ned Flanders comes across Rachel Jordan, whom he met at the end of the episode where his wife died.  At the end of that episode, it seemed like Ned was ready to move on from Maude's passing, however this episode makes it abundantly clear he hasn't.  After the Simpson family coerces him into having Rachel stay at his house for the night rather than a hotel, Ned's continued obsession with Maude becomes apparent.  Pictures of her all over the house, all of Maude's stuff still left where they were, even the bed still has Maude's indentation.  Rachel tries to sleep through it anyway but wakes up alarmed when she discovers that Ned is cutting her hair to make it look like Maude's.  Rachel leaves in disgust, and Ned realizes he has a problem.

As Ned takes his boys to the eye doctor, he asks the Simpsons to remove anything that reminds him of Maude.  They 'sort' out everything, but forget to 'sort' one item that Ned uncovers: an old book of Maude's featuring pictures she drew.  As Ned looks through it, he sees designs of a Christian-themed amusement park called Praiseland, perhaps Maude's final dream or some such.  With both of his sons imploring him to build it, Ned decides to do so, able to acquire the old Storytime village which had been out of business for some time.  Ned puts in great effort to build the park, and soon enough its open for business.  With masks of Maude's face and a giant statue of Maude, it seems like her dream is about to come true.

However, Praiseland turns out to be about as fun as one would expect from a Christian-themed park.  Rides consisting mostly of bible verse tellings, plain flavored treats, no beer, no fun at all.  People leave the park en masse, and Ned is forced to deal with the fact that Maude's dream has failed.  Just then, a Maude mask rises from the ground, floating up near the face of Maude's statue.  People view it as a miracle, but eventually the mask falls back down.  Principal Skinner is about to be skeptical, but he collapses to the ground and speaks in tongue.  When he comes to, he admits he had a vision: a vision of his own personal heaven.  People begin to believe the miracle to be real, and Homer convinces everyone to pay $10 to get their own vision, though Marge is able to get the money to go to the orphanage so that Ned would be okay with it.

Things are going along great now, and this time, maybe, Maude's dream will come true.  However, Ned overhears that a grill isn't getting any gas, and that there's probably a leak somewhere.  Ned goes to investigate and, to his horror, learns the leak is right under the Maude statue, meaning the the 'visions' people are having are just them getting high off gas.  Ned considers telling the truth about the matter, but with so much money going to the orphans he opts not to.  Although, you know, gas is poisonous, Ned tries to convince himself that its okay as its making people happy.  Just then, Ned and Homer see a pair of orphans place candles near the statue - near the busted gas line - and remembering another property of gas, rush in to stop the orphans.  They end up tackling the orphans, a rather offensive sight to the uninformed, and they all decide to leave the park in anger.  With no business and the gas leak, Ned is forced to close Praiseland.  At this moment, Rachel Jordan reappears, having read about the park in a paper and wearing a wig to cover up the unmentionable incident.  She and Ned reconcile, and together they finally remove the last creepy thing that reminds Ned of Maude: the imprint on Ned's bed.

Quick Review
So, when Maude died in Season 11, it was done for a few reasons.  One of the reasons was that with Ned now single, it would open up new storylines for him.  This episode would be the first such storyline, and frankly its not very good.  Ned's obsession with Maude is creepy.  Homer's obsession with Ned's love life is creepy.  Letting people get high off gas because they're mistaking it for miraculous visions and the proceeds are going to orphans is, well, not creepy but just plain stupid.  A lot of poorly delivered jokes add to that and it makes for one of the lesser episodes in the series, though its kinda sad that its not even the worst episode of this season.

Final Score: 4.7

Trilogy of Error (S12, E18-266)

Not even Linguo's superior grammar correction stands a chance against the mafia.

Plot Summary
The events of a rather eventful day are shown through the perspectives of three different Simpsons.

Homer's Day
Marge tries to treat the family to some oddity for breakfast.  As Bart goes off to meet with Milhouse, Homer and Lisa find an excuse to leave the breakfast table.  Homer takes a look at Lisa's science project: a robot capable to fixing someones grammar: Linguo.  Homer makes a mistake when it corrects his statement about beer, pouring beer into it, and Lisa runs off to fix it.  Homer then smells brownies being made, and goes to the kitchen.  Marge baked them for after dinner, but as Homer tries to grab a piece as Marge is cutting it up, she accidentally slices Homer's thumb off.  Marge tries to call 911, but when Chief Wiggum mistakes the accident as attempted murder, Marge gives them the fake address of 123 Fake St. to keep the police off her back. 

After Homer gets his thumb back from the dog, who had stolen it, Marge and Homer quickly go to Dr. Hibbert's to have it reattached.  Upon learning its too expensive (and Hibbert's suggestion to cut off the other thumb for symmetry's sake falling on deaf ears), the two try to go to Dr. Nick's instead.  However, Marge gets distracted and rams the car into Rainier Wolfcastle's car.  As Wolfcastle goes back to destroy Marge's car in a fit of rage, Homer and Marge sneak away and drive off in Wolfcastle's car.

With the ice maintaining the thumb melting, the two stop off at the nearest place to get more: Moe's.  Though Homer is able to get the thumb into pickle brine which works apparently, Homer gets sidetracked at Moe's and gets super drunk.  When he remembers about the thumb, he goes back outside but finds Marge gone.  He hitchhikes a ride from Cletus to Dr. Nicks, but finds Nick's office on fire, Nick flabbergasted that "inflammable" means flammable.  Just then, Cletus' truck is stolen, and Homer is left without hope.  As he's about to say goodbye to his thumb, an explosion occurs nearby, and the head of Linguo falls right next to Homer.

Lisa's Day
After Homer put beer in Linguo, Lisa goes back to her room to fix it.  The delay causes her to miss the bus, with Martin Prince eager to get a shoo in science fair victory with Lisa absent.  Determined to make the fair, Lisa goes get her bike, but finds it missing.  She tries to get a ride from Marge, but she's left with Homer to Dr. Hibbert's.  Lisa decides to just run to school, but nearly gets run over by a limo driven by Krusty's monkey Mr. Teeny.  To make up for it, Krusty has Teeny drive Lisa to school (after Wiggum fails to get directions to 123 Fake St. from Teeny), but Teeny makes a mistake and takes Lisa to West Springfield Elementary instead, a mistake Lisa doesn't learn until its too late.  On her way out, Lisa befriends a young boy who shares her intellect and loneliness, and the two spend hours just twirling around.  Lisa realizes the time and makes her bitter farewell with the boy she's come to like.

Running around again, Lisa winds up at Moe's.  Surprised Homer isn't there, she finds Chief Wiggum monitoring a sting operation, but unwittingly blows it by letting the mafia know his informant is wearing a wire.  Escaping before Wiggum can offer her the job of informant, Lisa escapes from the back just as Homer comes in from the front looking for ice.  She finds Marge, and after Marge realizes Homer has gone off on a tangent, decides to take Lisa to school.  The car runs out of gas, though, but the two are able to secretly hitch a ride on the back of a truck, Cletus'.  As the truck stops at Dr. Nicks, and Homer and Cletus check it out, Marge decides to steal this car as well and takes off.  It looks like Lisa is about to get to school just before the day ends, but Bart pops out of a manhole, and Marge might not be able to stop in time.

Bart's Day
Bart meets Milhouse at the front door, who reveals to Bart he's found something pretty darn amazing.  In the backyard, Bart has Milhouse take Lisa's bike to get to where they need to reach faster.  Milhouse takes Bart to a cave where he goes to cry, where they are several burlap sacks full of fireworks.  The two go around town setting off fireworks everywhere.  An attempt to create a rocket-wheeled bike backfires, and the wheels flies off - ultimately to Dr. Nick's office which sets off inflammable ether.  As the two continue wandering with their fireworks, they hear police nearby and hide in the nearest building... located at 123 Fake St.  Wiggum and pals bust in and find the two boys with the fireworks.  With Milhouse wanting not to become currency in prison, Wiggum makes a deal with them to find out who is smuggling those fireworks in.

The boys return to the cave, with Bart wired up.  They learn its Fat Tony and the mafia behind the illegal fireworks, but Wiggum for some reason blows their cover, and the mafia go in to kill the two.  Bart is able to set off a small firework and the two make their escape into the cave.  They find a way up, at a manhole, but just as Bart surfaces, Marge is about to run him over.  She stops just in time, only giving Bart a small knock on the head, but the boys continue their escape of the mob.  Marge sees this and chases after them, but as the boys are walled off, Marge desperately tosses Lisa's Linguo at the mob.  As the mob loudly ponder what the thing is, Linguo begins correcting their broken English.  However, there is just too much to correct, and Linguo overloads, overheating into sparks that sets off some fireworks Bart had run off with nearby, causing an explosion.  The explosion sends Linguo's head flying to where Homer was, and the mafia mostly defeated.  The police come in to arrest the mafia and Homer meets back up with the family.

However, Homer's thumb is all but gone and Lisa no longer has a science fair project.  Fat Tony overhears the dilemma and decides to help out.  At the school, Lisa reveals her new science project which is mostly just Legs sewing Homer's thumb back on, and successfully at that.  Homer's thumb is saved, Lisa gets first prize, and everything turns out okay regardless of the absurdity of it all.

Quick Review
I really liked how this episode is set up, and the various links between the events that occurred in one act or the other in an "oh that makes sense" sort of fashion.  Things like 123 Fake St. being a real address and Dr. Nick's confusion over the word "inflammable" really add a nice touch to the episode as well.  Its one of the season's best.

Final Score: 8.4

Simpson Safari (S12, E17-265)

You can really tell the Simpsons are in Africa in this shot.

Plot Summary
Homer unwittingly sparks a bagboy strike at the supermarket.  As Springfield townsfolk are super inept at most things, they find themselves unable to shop without a bag boy to bag their groceries, and the Simpsons are no exception.  With their house rapidly running out of food, the dog desperately locates an old lunch box of Homer's in the attic which contains really old animal crackers.  Homer eats some despite their age, but while doing so stumbles upon a golden giraffe, which indicates that the family would win a trip to Africa.  Homer checks up on the offer at the animal cracker company, which now makes household poisons, and in one way or another gets his family the tickets to Africa.

The Simpsons go to what is currently called "Pepsi Presents: New Zanzibar" also known as Tanzania under their new ruler Muntu.  They meet up with a tour guide, Kitenge, and with his help the family experiences the sights and sounds of the area, including shooing off what appears to be a group of poachers.  They stop at a tribal village and dance non-stop, where Homer accidentally riles up a hippo.  As Kitenge distracts it, the family escapes via the river though they become separated from the guide and float towards a waterfall, which they survive well enough.

The family finds a monkey, and follows it to a Chimp Refuge operated by a Dr. Bushwell.  Bushwell supposedly spends all of her time studying and living among the chimps.  After a short amount of time, the same group of poachers appear to grab the chimps off the refuge.  The Simpsons agree to help Bushwell defend the refuge, but the poachers find their way in.  Lisa struggles with one, but learns that the 'poacher' is actually a member of Greenpeace, and the Bushwell has actually been running a hidden diamond mining operation using the chimps as slaves.  Desperate for an out, an increasingly insane Bushwell attempts to bribe everyone with her hoards of diamonds and, apparently, it works, as the Simpsons return home with plenty of diamonds in tow.  The family flies back home, learning that Kitenge has become the new ruler of Pepsi Presents: New Zanzibar, with Muntu having become a flight attendant.

Quick Review
This episode has a few hits and misses as far as jokes go, and there wasn't really anything remarkable or memorable about the episode either though I will admit that the chimp mining operation to close the episode was probably the strongest the episode got.  Otherwise, it was nothing much.

Final Score: 7.0

Bye Bye Nerdie (S12, E16-264)

"Hey come on, cut it out.  I insist that you desist."

Plot Summary
A new girl comes to school, but is instantly shunned by the other school children, a feeling Lisa knows all to well.  She goes to talk to the new girl, Francine, however as soon as Lisa nears her, she gets punched in the face.  Having no idea why Francine would just do that, Lisa takes a suggestion from Marge to find something in common with the new girl, but that doesn't work out either and Francine ends up being Lisa's rather vicious bully.

In a sidestory, Homer and Marge are paid a visit to someone interested in selling them baby-proofing products, but is thrown out because her stuff isn't cheap.  Homer decides to baby proof the house himself, and upon 'successfully' doing so decides to expand his operations across town.  With all the kids in Springfield now safe, Homer feels accomplished, however his mood is soured when he learns that people in the baby-injury fields are losing money - and losing jobs.  Realizing what he's done, Homer runs around town and encourages kids to no longer be safe, restoring whatever status quo there was in that regard.

Lisa attempts to rid herself of Francine by hiring the other bullies for protection, but they won't go up against a girl bully only because of how vicious they are.  As Nelson tries to explain the way of things, Lisa notices Francine bullying smart kids but only smart kids, and decides to investigate why that is.  She gets Willie to show her the video room and she begins looking at several tapes where she encounters Francine: one where Francine finds a hidden Lisa, and another where Francine shows no hostility to Lisa.  Lisa inspects the second case, and sees that Francine was wearing nose plugs that time, coming up with a hypothesis that bullies go after nerds based on their scent.

After a few tests, Lisa displays her findings at a science expo.  Explaining that the nerd sweat, which Lisa officially calls "Poindextrose", can overwhelm a bully with rage, Lisa then reveals that salad dressing - one with lots of vinegar anyway - can block the smell receptors of a bully to render them harmless.  Lisa is given a gift certificate to JC Penny and she is congratulated on her scientific find, at least until she runs out of dressing and Francine goes nuts on all of the nerds in the building.

Quick Review
This was an enjoyable episode.  Willie's moments as well as the scene with Drederick Tatum were among my favorites, and Homer's babyproofing side plot had its laughs from time to time as well.  As per the usual, when the episode focuses solely on Lisa, the jokes are hard to find, but even so this episode is still pretty good.

Final Score: 8.1

Hungry, Hungry Homer (S12, E15-263)

"Dancing away my hunger pains, movin' my feet so my stomach won't hurt.
I'm kinda like Jesus, but not in a sacrilegious way."

Plot Summary
After helping Lisa acquire a missing piece to her Lego Blocko Eiffel Tower set, Homer comes to the conclusion that helping out 'the little guy' feels pretty good.  Homer spends the next day helping Bart and Marge with their problems.  As Homer discusses his new quirk for the week at the bar, Lenny storms in furious.  The baseball team, the Springfield Isotopes, have been terrible, but Lenny was unable to get a refund for his season tickets.  Homer decides to help Lenny out.

Homer learns that the team was bought by Duff Beer a year ago, and so decides to talk to the team's new owner: Howard K. Duff the eighth.  Homer attempts to speak on Lenny's behalf, but fails to accomplish anything.  On his way out, Homer accidentally stumbles into a private room full of gear and merchandise for the "Albuquerque Isotopes", and realizes that Duff is trying to move the team.  Duff along with his goon Duffman knock Homer unconscious and attempt to erase him memory of what he saw, but Homer remembers anyway.  He attempts to alert the media of the plot, but the room containing the revealing evidence has been cleaned up and Homer is made to look a fool.

Angry that he's being called a liar even though he's telling the truth for once, Homer takes a suggestion from Lisa to go on a hunger strike outside the stadium, not eating again until Howard Duff tells the truth about moving the team.  With nobody usually attending the baseball games, Duff sees Homer waste away outside the stadium on his hunger strike, and sees the people crowded around him, and puts two and two together.  While Homer's sleeping, a pair of guys move Homer and the pole he chained himself to over the center field wall to become a new attraction: Hungry Hungry Homer.  With people now back in the stadium and Homer's yells for the truth too weak to reach anyone's ears, Homer is stuck to waste away for several days.

Growing weaker, skinnier and of course hungrier, Homer begins to hallucinate.  Duff decides enough is enough and has Homer unchained from his pole.  Having Homer come down, he offers Homer a brand new Isotope dog to recover from his 12 day long hunger strike.  Homer, too weak to remember what he was doing in the first place, is about to eat the dog when he realizes that the hot dog's toppings have the bold, southwestern flavors one would find in Albuquerque, and uses the opportunity to finally inform everyone in the stadium about the plan to move.  As the crowd comes to realize the truth, Homer also convinces Duffman to turn against his employer, and Homer effectively saves the team from moving.  However, the mayor of Albuquerque is undeterred, he'll try and get the Dallas Cowboys to come down and play baseball instead.

Quick Review
This was a fine episode, with a few good moments.  Duffman features in the episode's highlights, and though there wasn't anything particularly bad about the episode, the quantity of jokes was just a bit lacking which prompts the score it received.

Final Score: 7.8

New Kids on the Blecch (S12, E14-262)

"Don't mind us, we're just ruining this already average episode!"
They didn't actually say but were probably thinking.

Plot Summary
Feeling inspired from watching an Olympics story, Homer decides to run in the Springfield marathon.  He doesn't do all that bad in it, relatively, but Bart decides to join the race at the finish line, disguised as an Italian.  His ruse lasts long enough for him to claim the trophy, yet not long enough for him to leave, as his cover is blown.  A stranger helps Bart escape the incoming mob.  The stranger, L.T. Smash, takes Bart home and, once there, offers Homer and Marge the chance to have Bart become a member of a boy band, boy bands being popular at the time.

Bart, the designated "bad boy" of the group, joins a band consisting of himself, Milhouse, Nelson and Ralph, calling themselves the "Party Posse".  As the four of them sing terribly, Smash uses a voice enhancing machine to make them sound much better, also much older.  Soon enough, the boys become a smash, even garnering the praise of fellow boy band N'Sync, who were popular at the time.  A music video featuring Party Posse makes its way to TV, but Lisa finds a particular part of the video odd: it features a trio of scantily clad women chanting the phrase "YVAN EHT NIOJ".  Ever the suspicious one, Lisa investigates further and finds two things: that phrase backwards is "join the navy", and a recruitment poster flashes on the screen for a split second.  Lisa comes to the conclusion that Bart's band is being used to display subliminal messages for the purposes of recruitment.

Lisa tries to talk to L.T. Smash about this, but realizes that he is part of the Navy himself: Lt. L.T. Smash.  Undeterred by Lisa's knowledge of the subliminal boy band plan, Smash hosts a Party Posse concert on an aircraft carrier.  During the concert, Smash learns from a superior that the operation is to be halted, because Party Posse is about to be parodied by Mad Magazine, and their recruiting power will become insignificant.  His dream of a fighting force to defeat a hippie-infested future dying, Smash gains control of the carrier, taking it to New York to destroy Mad's house of operations.  Party Posse, still on the carrier, try to figure out some way to stop Smash.  N'Sync arrives just in time to help, but they and Party Posse bicker on what to actually do, and Smash fires at Mad's building, destroying it though everyone inside is just fine.  Smash is arrested, Party Posse is done, and N'Sync reminds the audience that the Navy is juuuust fine.

Quick Review
This was not a good episode.  N'Sync's appearance and subsequent "jokes" were just terrible, a lot of it was just finding ways to get all five members to throw in some kind of line, and their entry dance was cringe-worthy.  The boy band plot wasn't doing the episode any favors either, and the revelation that it was a Navy conspiracy plot didn't help it much either.  This was just an awful episode all round.  Its not the worst episode of all time, but it is close.

Final Score: 4.4

Day of the Jackanapes (S12, E13-261)

This picture of Bob laughing maniacally looks more like him being really eager.
Which he is, I guess.  Eager to commit murder!

Plot Summary
Krusty becomes annoyed over how TV has changed over the years, even more so how meddlesome network executives have gotten.  They get so meddlesome with their terrible ideas that Krusty has had enough and decides to retire, his final show airing the upcoming Friday.  Krusty also has an interview with Kent Brockman, when he reveals that he's taped over all of his old shows during an infatuation with Judge Judy, and then reveals that he feels the show hadn't gotten really funny until Sideshow Bob had been replaced with Mel.

This interview does not go unnoticed by Bob, and is so fueled with rage over Krusty's neglect he decides to go out and kill him.  Flimsy reasoning is enough for him to get paroled, and he quickly sets up shop at a storage locker to set up a master plan.  It starts with him taking a job at the Elementary School, with Skinner and Bob having a mutual disdain of Bart Simpson.  Taking on the role of morning announcement, uh, guy, Bob uses this to his advantage and announces that Bart should go unescorted to a shack out back.  Bart goes and is immediately captured by Bob, who plans to have Bart kill Krusty during Krusty's final show, using hypnotism to get Bart under his control.

The Simpsons get invites to the show (for some reason), and Bob is able to sneak his way in.  "Activating" Bart, Bob calls him over to begin the final stage of his plan: equipping Bart with belts lined with plastic explosive with Bart's hands applied with triggers to said explosive, Bob plans to have Bart hug Krusty, setting up an explosion and killing off both of them.

Having Bart go to the stage after Krusty says a particular phrase, Bob's plan is about to work without a hitch.  However, in the time it takes for Bart to actually reach the stage, Krusty reveals one single regret he's had his entire career: that his abuse of Bob while he was Krusty's sidekick was what led Bob down the path of crime.  Krusty's remorse reaches Bob, and he has a last second change of heart.  He attempts to stop the assassination, but is unable to reach the two.  Thankfully, Mr. Teeny, Krusty's show monkey, spots the plastic explosives under Bart's jacket and is able to swoop in and remove the explosives, throwing them into a room full of network executives (who survive the blast somewhat).

Krusty and Bob reconcile their differences, though Bob is once again hit for attempted murder and the episode ends with Bob trying to convince Chief Wiggum to at least get a trial before getting the guillotine.

Quick Review
This ends up to be an excellent Sideshow Bob episode.  He hadn't appeared in Mike Scully's tenure as showrunner, as he had feared that Bob's storylines had dried up, a fear that seemed somewhat true at the beginning of the episode when "Krusty doesn't think much of me" doesn't really seem like much of a motive for Bob - who had reformed only to be falsely arrested in his last major appearance - to go out and kill again.

Still, the jokes around Bob worked really well and though this episode is part of "new Simpson" territory, it can be counted among the better episodes that feature him, and its certainly one of the best episodes of Season 12.

Final Score: 9.1

Tennis the Menace (S12, E12-260)

The Simpsons watching the match between the Simpsons and the Simpsons.

Plot Summary
Through a roundabout way of events, the Simpsons end up installing a tennis court in their backyard.  Homer and Marge use it as a means of social status, inviting people all over town to play against them.  However, Homer is flat out terrible at tennis, and that's when he's not purposefully making a fool of himself on the court.  Marge becomes embarrassed, especially when she overhears people mocking her at the store.  She implores Homer to improve his tennis game, and Homer agrees to.

Homer then enters him and Marge into a local tournament far before he's ready.  After a pants mishap, Homer has to go inside, and Bart takes his place for practice.  Bart turns out to be good, or at least competent, and so the next day - the day of the tournament - Marge replaces Homer with Bart for the tournament, a move that hurts Homer deeply.  Marge and Bart win the local tournament and are invited to play in the upcoming Krusty Kharity Klassic tournament.  Wanting revenge against the two, Homer decides to enter as well, enlisting Lisa as his partner.  This sets up a feud amongst the family.

The day of that tournament comes, and Homer dumps Lisa for her 'loser talk'.  Homer learns that the tournament is being watched in person by both Venus AND Serena Williams, and learning of how unbeatable they are, Homer goes to replace Lisa with one of them, taking Venus because she was slightly less offended by Homer's ploy.  Marge finds it unfair that Homer gets to have a Williams sister, so she's allowed to replace Bart with the other sister, Serena.  Serena doesn't like Marge's less than-pro ability, though, and so Marge is dumped in favor of Pete Sampras, who was sitting nearby.  Homer is enjoying it all until he, too, is replaced by Andre Agassi.  The Simpsons are benched, but they've stopped feuding with one another and are enjoying well played tennis.

Quick Review
This episode ended up being fine.  It got off to a slow start and the ending was sort of weird, but for the most part the jokes worked.  The appearances of all the tennis stars near the end was mostly fine - one would expect tennis players to guest star in a tennis-themed episode - and the plot held up okay even with the somewhat odd way it ended.

Final Score: 7.7

Worst Episode Ever (S12, E11-259)

His eyes shoot out concussive tears.

Plot Summary
After Bart 'earns' $50, he and Milhouse decide to splurge.  Down to their last $10, they go to the comic book shop to buy Radioactive Man #1000, but it costs $25.  While there, they see a woman attempt to sell 'junk' to the owner.  He sees several rare Star Wars memorabilia, but realizing the woman is a sap, offers $5 for it.  She's about to accept, but Bart and Milhouse intervene and tell the woman she's about to get ripped off.  She leaves, and as revenge for costing him various goods, the comic book guy bans Bart and Milhouse from the store for life.

The timing couldn't be worse, as special effects wizard Tom Savini is doing an act at the store.  Homer tries to sneak the two in, but he tips comic book guy off, and the boys are left looking from the outside.  Savini and comic book guy become at odds during the show, and Savini uses his effects to humiliate his sarcastic opponent.  Comic book guy (who I'll just call CBG from here on) can't handle it all, and suffers a heart attack.  At the hospital, CBG is advised to avoid stress, but with the stressful job of owning a comic book shop his main source of income, he has no choice but to ask somebody for help.  As Bart and Milhouse were the two who called the ambulance, and CBG has no friends to ask for help, the two boys ends up running the store.

Although the two enter the venture as "partners", as usual Bart becomes the head of the operation.  Milhouse becomes the lackey, but one day as Bart is out, a businessman appears and successfully gets Milhouse to acquire 2000 copies of "Biclops", a hero that coincidentally looks and acts like Milhouse.  Bart and Milhouse come to blows over this, and start fighting.  The fight ends up revealing a secret room full of pirated video tapes of top secrets or hidden endings or embarrassing moments, mostly top secrets.

Meanwhile, CBG goes to a meeting to help make friends, but before he can, he's interrupted by Agnes Skinner.  The two exchange verbal flares, but somehow their insulting demeanors turn each other on, and they become a hot couple, 'hot' not being the right word to use here.

The boys have fun watching the secret videos but realize they can make a hefty profit showing other kids the videos for $5 a kid.  The plan works well to start, but the police bust in and stop the operation.  They learn CBG owns the videos and go to arrest him, though when they do they catch him in the act of making out with Agnes, making the arrest harder than usual.  Though the comic book shop is barred off for awhile, Bart and Milhouse are glad they got past their differences.

Quick Review
The opening act of the episode was alright, and when it focused on Bart and Milhouse later on it was fine as well, especially with the secret videos.  The bits with CBG and Agnes bugged me, though.  Other than the fact that they're both mean-spirited characters there is really nothing that would suggest that pairing could be a thing, and yet there it was.  I really didn't need to see them making out either.  It soured what was otherwise an above-average episode.

Final Score: 7.4

Pokey Mom (S12, E10-258)

There ain't no pride like Puma Pride.

Plot Summary
After spending part of a day at an Apron Expo, the Simpsons see a prison rodeo on the way back and decide to attend.  There, a prisoner gets forced off a bull and into a wall, with the bull charging right at it.  Marge has Homer distract the bull, but Homer messes up his back in the process.  In the prison infirmary, Marge sees a pair of paintings and learns they were painted by that same prisoner, Jack Crowley.

Wanting to see just what kind of hidden talent Jack has, Marge is allowed to set up an art class at the prison to learn more about the guy.  She learns that Jack was arrested for shooting Apu, a common crime, and with just how talented he is with the paintbrush, Marge believes he deserves a second chance.  She is able to convince a parole board that Jack is alright, and they let him go, but only under Marge's custody.

Meanwhile, Homer goes to a chiropractor to fix his ailing back.  The chiropractor lessens Homer's pain a smidge, but with numerous expensive visits ahead, Homer isn't liking it thus far.  However, a freak accident occurs when Homer falls, face up, straight onto a trash can.  The accident ends up 'fixing' Homer's back, and he realizes he's got his next zany scheme on him.  Setting up a chiropractic business of his own, he fixes people's backs by having them fall onto the same trash can.  The chiropractic business gets wise to Homer, though, and soon enough goons come in to steal and subsequently destroy Homer's trash can.

Marge is able to find Jack work at the Elementary school, where Principal Skinner wants a mural painted.  Marge fibs a bit to get Jack the job, and its then when she learns that Jack has actually been to jail twice, with the first time involving a farm couple in an unspecified incident.  Jack tries to paint one with his own personal touch, but Skinner hates it and forces Jack to paint a cute design Skinner had drawn up.  With Jack's hatred towards Skinner mounted, he follows Marge's advice and complies.  The day of the mural's unveiling occurs, and sure enough everyone hates the cute mural.  Chalmers gets on Skinner for it, and in his deflective manner, Skinner puts the blame on Jack for the unpopular painting.

A short time later, the mural ends up on fire, and Jack is nowhere to be seen.  Fearing that Jack has relapsed to crime, Marge finds Jack hiding nearby.  Jack pleads with Marge that he didn't set the mural on fire, and Marge decides on a plan to help him escape.  It seems to work, but instead of escaping Jack decides to set Skinner's car on fire.  Marge has given up hope on Jack, and he is driven off by Chief Wiggum where they engage in small talk.

Quick Review
I really enjoyed this episode.  Homer's chiropractor sidestory has its moments, and the main story held up well enough and picked up at the end when Skinner and Chief Wiggum become involved.  Admittedly, there is a bit of a lull during the middle portion when Marge is visiting Jack in jail, but its a minor complaint in what is an otherwise great episode.

As a sidenote, there is a scene in said middle portion where Marge tells Bart she's seen Sideshow Bob in jail, and that Bob says he'll see Bart "real soon".  Sure enough, our next Sideshow Bob episode is just three episodes away (Day of the Jackanapes).  You gotta like that hidden little foreshadowing.

Final Score: 8.6

HOMR (S12, E09-257)

Homer, spending quality library time with Lisa!?  Oh man, these crazy Season 12 storylines!

Plot Summary
The family goes to an animation fair, and while there Homer takes a liking to motion capture animation, a somewhat new process at the time.  He likes it so much, he believes it'll become big, and decides to invest his life's savings into a motion capture company.  However, the company goes bankrupt, and so does Homer basically.

Needing money desperately, Homer takes Barney's advice and becomes a human guinea pig at a research center.  As he's tested upon, a pair of researchers notice a crayon stuck in Homer's brain on an x-ray.  As Dr. Hibbert quickly explains how it hadn't been seen in past x-rays, Homer recalls a time when he was a kid when he stuffed a box of 16 crayons into his nose then subsequently sneezed them out, though he believed he sneezed out all 16.  The researchers offer Homer the opportunity to have it removed, believing that its the reason behind his limited capacities, and Homer agrees.

Instantly, Homer's IQ goes up, and he becomes far more intellectual.  Lisa in particular likes the new Homer, as he now actually wants to spend time at the library.  One day, Homer finally decides to actually inspect the nuclear plant, and whats more he sends his findings not to Burns himself but to a safety commission.  The plant is forced to close down, and Burns basically lays everybody off.

Homer is now public enemy #1 amongst his former friends, and has a talk about his loss of happiness with Lisa, who admits that happiness and intelligence are inversely related.  Homer tries one more time to enjoy himself, but pointing out obvious flaws in movies aren't helping him make friends, either.  No longer wishing to be smart, Homer revisits the researchers to have a crayon put back into his brain, and they give him the name of someone who will operate without a license: Moe.

Lisa realizes something is amiss when one of her crayons have gone missing, and her fears are soon realized when Homer crashes back into the house, as dumb as ever.  A letter written to Lisa falls off from him, written while Homer was still smart, and it informs Lisa that while he's "taking the coward's way out", his time spent without the crayon has made him appreciate just how amazing Lisa really is.

Quick Review
Well, it was an inoffensive episode, anyway, it has that going for it.  That said, there just wasn't that many jokes I found funny.  The plotline was fine, but there really wasn't much going on that I felt was humorous.

Final Score: 6.8

Skinner's Sense of Snow (S12, E08-256)

I bet that guy's pay got cut by a couple of very valuable cents.

Plot Summary
A winter storm hits Springfield overnight, and in the morning there has been a sizable snowfall.  Everything is closed for the day... except Springfield Elementary School.  Bart and Lisa go, as do a few select other students, but most of the students as well as the entire faculty don't go as it is the final day before Christmas break.  With such a small size, Principal Skinner just spends the day showing an old movie, but by the end of the day, the continued snowfall has piled up and has essentially barricaded everyone within the school.

Homer and Ned Flanders begin a rescue operation, but Homer haphazardly runs over a fire hydrant, with water immediately freezing over the car.  Homer tries to gas pedal his way out, but something breaks and exhaust fumes enter the car, leaving the two delirious.

With the kids at school becoming unruly, Skinner recalls his army days and takes full control of the situation, silencing Nelson's rebellion attempts.  Bart still can't deal with staying in school, though, and at night attempts to tunnel out via the delivery chute.  Skinner catches him and, fearing a collapse of the tunnel, pulls Bart out and collapses the tunnel himself.  Unfortunately, the tunnel collapses on Skinner, leaving him stuck in a pile of snow, prompting Bart and the other kids to go wild.

Pulling Skinner out of the snow but immediately putting him in a dodgeball sack without Skinner being able to break free during the interim somehow, the kids continue going wild, breaking into the permanent record room as well.  With the kids distracted in there, Skinner sneaks off and puts the school hamster in a ball with a help message, and sends it off above the snow level through the window.

That hamster eventually makes its way to Homer and Ned, somehow flying into and through the windshield.  That allows the exhaust fumes to escape, and the two recover from their hallucinations.  Homer, still a bit out of it, recklessly makes his way to the school, but loses control, knocking over a silo of salt at a cracker factory.  In a stroke of lucky coincidence, the cracker factory is located right near the school, and the salt from the tipped over silo pours over the snow blocking the front door, melting it quickly.  Skinner and the kids are freed, both sides eager to forget the unpleasantness, and the Simpson and Flanders kids go home with their dads in the increasingly dilapidated car.

Quick Review
I enjoyed this episode.  The low-budget movie Skinner was showing the students was the best part of the episode, and there were several jokes that worked well throughout (though there were a few that didn't).  As a bit of a curveball as Simpsons episodes go, this episode starts off on a slow note as the circus plotline wasn't really doing much for comedy, but once the snowstorm came in the episode quickly recovered.

Final Score: 8.2

The Great Money Caper (S12, E07-255)

I think the writers have realized they don't need good endings to their wacky situations anymore.

Plot Summary
The family attends a magic show, and Bart becomes interested enough to get a magic kit.  A freak accident occurs when a sturgeon lands on the car, requiring over $6500 in repairs.  Bart tries to chip in with his improving magic act, so Homer takes him to the port to get some coin, but the two can't even earn a dollar.  Homer is so upset over Bart's failure, he drives home without the boy.  This scene occurs out in public, and various people who witnessed the child neglect take pity on Bart and give him generous amounts of cash.  Its enough for Bart to take a taxi home, which passes Homer by on the way.  Back home, Homer realizes that fake 'charity cases' could be the ticket to free money, and he and Bart team up to be con artists.

The cons go off without any hitches, and soon the two are raking in money.  Homer is able to pay for his car repairs but he decides to keep doing it because hey, why not.  Their next con is botched, though, when Flanders recognizes the con he is being conned.  Homer and Bart hide out in the treehouse where Grampa confronts them.  Grampa was the king of the con back in his day, and he's willing to help the two pull the biggest con of all: at the retirement home.

Setting up a ploy where Grampa fakes his death after 'winning' a million dollars, Homer and Bart are caught by a supposed FBI agent while Grampa flees the scene.  The agent takes the two to the police station to turn themselves in, and though the two come up with a plan to avoid jail, it turns out the agent was a con man himself, and gets away with both Homer's car and the money from the retirement home con.  Unwilling to admit the truth, Homer tells Marge later that he was carjacked, and half-asses up a description of the guy.  The next morning, police found somebody that matches the description: Groundskeeper Willie.  Homer and Bart go to Willie's trial but neither are willing to admit to the truth to save Willie.  Willie is found guilty; in desperation Willie grabs Chief Wiggum's gun and starts shooting, 'killing' Principal Skinner in the process.

Homer finally admits to what really happened with the con.  Just then, Marge admits something of her own: that Homer and Bart were still being conned!  The retirement home scheme, the arrest, the carjacking, Willie's trial, all of this had been planned by Grampa and the family to stop Homer and Bart from conning others, and everybody was in on it (except poor Willie).  Homer asks why everybody would go through such trouble to teach him and Bart a lesson, but just as Lisa begins to explain, Otto comes in to invite everyone to surf, and everybody does so, thus the show avoids the need to explain itself.

Quick Review
The episode has its moments, and there wasn't anything all that bad, besides the cop out ending, but there quantity of jokes just wasn't there.

Final Score: 7.1

The Computer Wore Menace Shoes (S12, E06-254)

Ah, internet of the late 90s/early 2000s.  I sort of miss it, still.

Plot Summary
Homer doesn't get an e-mail saying the plant is closed for fumigation because he doesn't have a computer to receive an e-mail.  Not wanting to be made a fool again, Homer goes to a computer store and gets made a fool of by buying an overpriced model that'll be worthless in due time.  Although initially unsure of how to use a computer, with Lisa's help Homer is able to browse the internet.  Not only that, he's able to make his own webpage, though its full of nothing but crazy gifs and annoying noises.  On Lisa's advisement over being sued, Homer takes his name off the page, calling his website "Mr. X's Web Page".

Given the website has nothing of value, Homer doesn't even get a single hit.  Lisa informs him that he needs to add some kind of content to his page to get attention.  Working off that, Homer adds a rumor Bart heard from Nelson (or Jimbo) that Mayor Quimby had been using money meant for pothole patching to construct a secret swimming pool.  Homer posts this on his website, and soon enough the rumor is actually proven to be true, as Quimby's pool is found.  Realizing what he's done, Homer decides to continue his work as "Mr. X", snooping around town picking up secrets whenever he can with his identity secret.  He does such great work, he even wins a Pulitzer prize, though to actually win the prize and its cash reward, Homer outs himself as Mr. X.

Now that his secret is out, everybody around town makes sure they don't reveal anything with Homer around.  With no more secrets to reveal, Homer's web site is floundering.  Desperate, Homer begins to come up with phony headlines, like Spanish and Italian being the same language, or flu shots actually being used for mind control.  His website once again picks up, and Homer is raking it in, whatever 'it' is, but finds himself kidnapped in an elaborate ploy.

Homer comes to on what is known as "The Island", which houses various people who know too much and people get gassed or drugged every five minutes or so.  Homer eventually is met by someone who runs the island who tells Homer that he's been contained because he 'knows' of the flu shot mind control secret, which is apparently real.  What's more, he's been replaced at home by a guy who looks like him (although he certainly doesn't act like him).  With another prisoner's help, Homer is able to flee the island and run home.  He attempts to post what he's witnessed on the website, but the island controls it, and Homer's double attempts to kill him.  Homer is able to kick his double in the crotch, and his family comes home in time to see their real husband and father.  However, the man from the island isn't licked yet, and is able to gas the entire family, forcing them all to live their lives on the island.

Quick Review
For the first half or so the episode, everything was going fine.  Homer getting a computer, Homer outing secrets as Mr. X, all that was solid and the jokes throughout these scenes were doing well, too.  It seemed like this episode was going to be one of the season's bright spots.

Then the kidnapping happened, and the rest of the episode, which parodies heavily from 1967's The Prisoner, just gets a bit too absurd for my liking, though admittedly I did like German double Homer in the few times he appears.  The whole bit with the constant drugging or gassing fell flat, too.  It was a weak end to what would've been an otherwise excellent episode.

Final Score: 7.3

Homer vs. Dignity (S12, E05-253)

I think this was the 'jump the shark' moment for the last few who hadn't seen it that way yet.

Plot Summary
The Simpsons are flat broke, again, and not even financial planning can help them.  Meanwhile, Smithers is going on a break to star in a play he wrote, and so Mr. Burns won't have his assistant around for a week.  Homer, desperate for money, asks Burns for a raise, but Burns won't hear of it.  Burns, desperate for amusement, instead has Homer throw pudding at Lenny.  Lenny's suffering gives Burns the laughter he needs, and decides to pay Homer to become his "prank monkey".

With Burns' vast fortune, doing something like buying and subsequently eating a copy of the first issue of Spider-Man is but a simple prank.  With Burns supplying Homer cash with each embarrassing act, Homer is able to stabilize his family's finances, telling the family only that he and Burns are involved in a 'side project' for work.  The pranks reach a head, disgustingly literally, when Burns has Homer pose as a panda donated "anonymously" during a show.  Not only is Homer given electric shocks for being 'too frisky', but an actual, real panda becomes aroused by panda Homer, and goes to 'cuddle' with Homer, behind a curtain of course, but Burns gets his big laugh.

Lisa witnesses the horror, but doesn't find out its her father until a short time later when Homer makes his clumsy escape from the panda exhibit.  Lisa learns what Homer actually has been doing with Burns, and feels sorry for him.  Burns comes along to pay Homer, but with Lisa's help Homer shoos him away.  However, Homer still has the money Burns just paid him, and he and Lisa decide to use the dirty money for good.

Homer uses the money to buy every toy in a toy store, and even agrees to become Santa Claus for the store-sponsored Thanksgiving parade, which is coming up.  Homer happily throws out his newly bought gifts during the parade, but Burns casually rides in on a prank boat, tempting Homer with yet another prank.  Though Homer is adamant on refusing, he seems to falter when Burns offers Homer a million dollars for the prank.

Soon, "Santa" is seen throwing not presents, but fish guts at parade spectators, and with seagulls coming in to peck at said guts, it creates pure chaos.  Lisa is ashamed of her father, but as it turns out Homer wasn't even in the suit anymore; he turned down Burns' offer but I guess somehow Burns took Homer's costume to do the prank himself.  Lisa is proud of her father, who got the present of dignity from his daughter just in time.

Quick Review
This episode is hated.  There's a few reasons why its hated.  For one, the panda scene.  I mean, Homer gets hit with electric shocks a bunch and Lisa is there to witness it, that should've been enough, right?  Did that real panda really have to get sexually confused in that scene.  This really angered some people.  Not so much me.  I mean, I've seen the worst the series can do already, and panda rape doesn't quite qualify for the worst.  Not quite.

Although that was a worthwhile complaint, one that doesn't quite hold up is the one that complains that because this episode 'recycles' older plots, it can't be a good episode.  The family is broke, which has happened before.  Smithers leaves for somewhere and Homer takes his place, that's happened before, never mind that Smithers departure was for completely different reasons each time or that what Homer was doing to 'fill in' for him is different as well.  What's that?  There was an episode where Lisa laments that a family member had lost their soul?  You mean to say it happened again in this episode?  Wait a minute, 'selling your soul which you didn't believe in for $5' and 'forgoing your dignity for money to pay the bills' are the same storyline?  Who knew!

I know that these 'downfall' seasons aren't as great as the ones the preceded them, but complaints like that just seem like people are looking for reasons to find the episodes of these seasons bad.  Panda scene aside, this episode ends up being fairly funny, with plenty of good jokes.  Once again, its fairly difficult to screw up an episode featuring Mr. Burns, and once again that holds true here as Burns' antics keep the episode going well for the most part.  Sadly, this episode is one of Season 12's highlights (despite the panda scene), but many people won't see it that way as they'll be too busy getting upset over recycled plot lines to find the jokes and humor the episode actually presents.

Final Score: 8.5

Lisa the Tree Hugger (S12, E04-252)

There's probably some deep, hidden meaning behind this scene.  Probably.

Plot Summary
Needing money, Bart goes looking for a job and gets one putting hanging menus on doors for a Thai restaurant.  After some initial hesitation, Bart gets trained in the practice and soon becomes such a master at it that he uses up a lot of paper, which riles up Lisa's eco-friendly blood.  Regardless, Bart gets a ton of money, and decides to "treat" the family by going to Krusty Burger.  There, a group of protesters in cow suits are on the roof of the building deploring the franchise's practice of mowing down forests to make room for cow grazing fields.  The cops successfully bean bag the leader off the roof and into custody.  Lisa gets a good look at the leader, a rather charming young hippy named Jesse Grass, and becomes infatuated with him.

Later, Lisa goes to visit Jesse in jail and decides to join his environmental group.  At their next meeting, it seems they've come across a secret auction where Springfield's oldest tree is bought by a rich Texan so he can cut it down and make the world's first drive-thru humidor in its place.  Jesse needs someone to go and live in the tree to prevent it from being cut down.  Lisa, still enamored with Jesse, happily agrees to do so.

Lisa begins her tree-sitting, eager to help Jesse and enjoying the view the tree provides.  On the fourth day, during one rather stormy night, Lisa becomes very homesick.  She decides to leave the tree for just an hour so she can visit the family.  Returning home, Lisa sees that they've fallen asleep near a fireplace, and decides to rest with them for just a moment.  However, Lisa sleeps until the next morning, and rushes back to the tree to find in horror that its been struck down.

Horrified that she let this happen to the tree, Lisa is relieved to hear on the news that the tree was brought down not by loggers, but by a bolt of lightning attracted to a pail Lisa had been using to bring up goods.  Having told nobody she had left the tree, people start assuming Lisa had died in the lightning strike.  While certain Simpsons get perks for the supposed tragedy, Lisa also agrees to keep her living status secret, as the forest surrounding the tree has become a preserve in her name.

The preserve is owned by that same Texan, though, and when he decides to turn the forest into a Lisa-themed park instead (including a gigantic signpost made from the fallen tree with Lisa's head on it), Lisa reveals herself and expresses her moral outrage.  Jesse and the others tear down the signpost, but it crashes down and slides into town, causing significant damage.  Jesse gets arrested again, and Lisa agrees to keep in touch with him as he takes his protests elsewhere.  Meanwhile, the Lisa log just keeps sliding around.

Quick Review
This episode has its moments, but there were a few things that missed the mark.  I'm not particularly fond of the rich Texan character, even less so that his actual name is the "Rich Texan", so the fact that the episode featured that guy often didn't do it any favors with me.  The end of the episode with the log wasn't that good either.  So there was a lot that was working against this episode.

Final Score: 6.9

Insane Clown Poppy (S12, E03-251)

Krusty, playing a tune for his (not-to-be-seen-until-16-seasons-later) daughter.

Plot Summary
At a book fair, Krusty learns that he has a daughter, Sophie.  She helps him remember an instance during the Gulf War where he had to hide in a random tent during a dust storm.  There, he met a woman soldier - Sophie's mother - and the two got intimate for no apparent reason.  However, he interferes with her mission to assassinate Suddam Hussein (mostly because it'll ruin his act), thereby instilling an intense hatred of clowns into her, though Sophie is more interesting in bonding with her father.

Krusty reluctantly decides to spends time with Sophie, and finds fatherhood to be more demanding than he anticipated.  He seeks aid from another father, and asks the first one he comes across at the beach: Homer.  Although I don't think Homer gives Krusty any actual advice, Krusty does a better job at spending time with Sophie, and she decides to entrust her violin with him for some reason.

Later, Krusty is at the bar gambling with Moe, Homer, Snake and Fat Tony.  Thinking he's got a hand won with four aces, Krusty needs extra money when Fat Tony raises the pot.  Looking desperately for something of value, he decides to throw in Sophie's violin under the premise that he won't actually lose it when he wins.  However, Fat Tony has a straight flush, and wins the hand and the violin, devastating Krusty.

Krusty tries to make amends with Sophie, but Sophie wants her violin back, losing respect for Krusty.  Krusty goes to Homer for help again, and Homer decides the two should just break into Fat Tony's house to get the violin back.  As it turns out, Tony is hosting some kind of mafia summit, leaving him busy with hosting duties.  The two sneak in and find several violin cases, but most of stuffed with guns.  With no time to search, the two try to sneak off with all of them, but accidentally sneak into the room where the summit is being held. causing a series of events which ultimately lead to Krusty recovering the violin.  He returns it to Sophie who regains some love for her father.

Quick Review
Despite some oddities with the premise (and dating it with the Gulf War reference), I still found this episode fairly enjoyable, as the jokes were funny for the most part.

Final Score: 8.0